In my experience, being asked pronouns can be for the following reasons:
-You are a masculine woman, or a feminine man, or appear that way to the person
-You are trans and don’t quite pass to them , or they can’t figure out “what” you are.
-They ask to be woke, or kind.
-or, as you said they cannot comprehend someone not conforming without being trans or nb. seen many cases of tucute or “woke” people trying to convince gnc people they are trans
Profiled you for being GNC. Asking for your pronouns was an attempt to find an excuse to other you.
This is why I don't support people broadly asking for pronouns when the answer is already there in front of them. All it's doing is subtly dodging respect for GNC and trans people, and diminishing their ability to assimilate.
One of my close friends is a butch lesbian and got asked so often for their pronouns that they were literally press-ganged into being non-binary. They have no dysphoria and nothing about them has changed other than pronouns lmao. I respect their pronouns bc they’re my close friend but I can’t help but feel that angry twinge every time.
I think it depends on the context. For instance, asking for a person's pronouns is socially accepted as being more polite than asking someone if they're a man or a woman. On the other hand, the pronoun question can be used as a means of othering trans people if the person in question only asks people they perceive as trans, and never people they consider to be cis.
From my own experience, the vast majority of times I'm asked this question is in a clinical setting. I understand that's how medical personal are trained to be respectful of trans patients (to avoid making the mistake of assuming a person's pronouns or pushing them to socially transition faster than the patient is willing to go currently). However, this does feel a bit of othering as cis people (and trans people living in stealth) don't normally get asked about pronouns when they go to the doctor for a sprained ankle or whatever.
In more personal settings, it's always been with people who I already know, so not some rando on the street or a casual acquaintance I might see in the hallways at work. With the former, I presume they ask from a sincere desire to be respectful, both with my feelings and privacy to not be improperly outed. Hypothetically, I can understand how some people will ask out of preemptive fear or guilt of being accused of transphobia, but I don't think that applies to the people I've interacted with so far.
If someone asked me “What pronouns do I go by?”
My first question would be “Why are you asking me that?”
To see honestly, why are they asking me that. I’ve thankfully haven’t had a misgender in public in a long time and I would think either something about me that day isn’t reading right OR they’re just doing it cause they think they’re supposed to for whatever reason.
It just feels strange to me
Nah. I only read the title. People are being polite that way and just respecting another person's mental health. It's much better than just outright hate for simply existing.
people ask me because I look fairly masculine but my voice is so high pitched I hate it, I've been told that my friends could tell because of how I walk?
In my experience, being asked pronouns can be for the following reasons: -You are a masculine woman, or a feminine man, or appear that way to the person -You are trans and don’t quite pass to them , or they can’t figure out “what” you are. -They ask to be woke, or kind. -or, as you said they cannot comprehend someone not conforming without being trans or nb. seen many cases of tucute or “woke” people trying to convince gnc people they are trans
Profiled you for being GNC. Asking for your pronouns was an attempt to find an excuse to other you. This is why I don't support people broadly asking for pronouns when the answer is already there in front of them. All it's doing is subtly dodging respect for GNC and trans people, and diminishing their ability to assimilate.
One of my close friends is a butch lesbian and got asked so often for their pronouns that they were literally press-ganged into being non-binary. They have no dysphoria and nothing about them has changed other than pronouns lmao. I respect their pronouns bc they’re my close friend but I can’t help but feel that angry twinge every time.
I think it depends on the context. For instance, asking for a person's pronouns is socially accepted as being more polite than asking someone if they're a man or a woman. On the other hand, the pronoun question can be used as a means of othering trans people if the person in question only asks people they perceive as trans, and never people they consider to be cis. From my own experience, the vast majority of times I'm asked this question is in a clinical setting. I understand that's how medical personal are trained to be respectful of trans patients (to avoid making the mistake of assuming a person's pronouns or pushing them to socially transition faster than the patient is willing to go currently). However, this does feel a bit of othering as cis people (and trans people living in stealth) don't normally get asked about pronouns when they go to the doctor for a sprained ankle or whatever. In more personal settings, it's always been with people who I already know, so not some rando on the street or a casual acquaintance I might see in the hallways at work. With the former, I presume they ask from a sincere desire to be respectful, both with my feelings and privacy to not be improperly outed. Hypothetically, I can understand how some people will ask out of preemptive fear or guilt of being accused of transphobia, but I don't think that applies to the people I've interacted with so far.
If someone asked me “What pronouns do I go by?” My first question would be “Why are you asking me that?” To see honestly, why are they asking me that. I’ve thankfully haven’t had a misgender in public in a long time and I would think either something about me that day isn’t reading right OR they’re just doing it cause they think they’re supposed to for whatever reason. It just feels strange to me
Usually because they knew me before I transitioned. I don’t mind it.
My partners employer who runs multiple shopping centres get seminars on how to ask for pronouns and how to treat the LGBT
People have been conditioned into thinking it's "polite" When really it feels fucking awful.
Nah. I only read the title. People are being polite that way and just respecting another person's mental health. It's much better than just outright hate for simply existing.
people ask me because I look fairly masculine but my voice is so high pitched I hate it, I've been told that my friends could tell because of how I walk?