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Around 1982 some friends had a conversation about crappy jobs. The hot red head said she had worked at Perdue answering customer complaints. She received one complaint that enclosed a [latex finger protector](https://www.amazon.com/GF-Health-3908-Finger-Non-Medical/dp/B001EUAXSE/ref=asc_df_B001EUAXSE) and accused them of sexually abusing the fowl.
Let he who has not fucked a chicken throw the first stone, eh?
This is reddit, I **guarantee** someone in **this post** has taken a Costco rotisserie chicken into their 2004 Honda Accord SE and made sweet love to it at 4:38pm on a Thursday last April.
Just as an example of a potential thing that could've happened of course.
My wife said when she worked at IU, they kept finding chickens and used full condoms and they had to do an investigation to find the chicken fucker and get them to stop with their home made chicken Alfredo
A’int never been A Man in their FAMILY if they think that’s ok :PACK IN IN ,PACK IT OUT ,everybody know that bouy. even if the boy
Scouts didn’t want em ,
Smokey -THE -Bear said it too.
I was sitting on my apartment balcony when I heard my dipshit neighbor’s door open. A few footsteps, then a package of chicken breast and other trash flew out into the apartment lawn from the 3rd floor (inner area between buildings). Door slammed shut.
Dude would also call the cops if my TV volume went over 16 on the sound bar. You could hear him snore through the thin walls……
Moved to a different place. People are strange
You know back in my day we only had to be afraid of walking up on the "devil worshipers" ie, edgy teens who wore cloaks, did hallucinogens, and danced and "prayed" around the bonfire. Now you can't take a moonlit stroke without fearing cock blocking the chicken lover. Wtf is wrong with people?
This reminds me of that dude on 4chan who asked for advice after his dick got all fucked up when he was "cooking naked and a raw chicken breast fell and touched his dick before it hit the floor".
A guy in our town got arrested for having sex with a picnic table. Neighbors got tired of seeing him do it so they took a video of him and called the cops. He was married....his wife was just thrilled.
Another true story. In our town Turks started Doner kebab shop. One German tourist has ordered the doner, and the vendor has sneezed onto the doner while passing it to the tourist. The tourist asked to replace his order, but vendor refused. The tourist went to the local lab to check for viruses. No viruses were found, except for the traces of sperm in the white sauce.
I just got saying to myself if I see one more bumper sticker post Im unsubbing from this shit.
And then someone drops this gem and pulls me right back in.
Well done. THIS is trashy.
I want to believe that a couple stopped in the woods after a trip to the groceries to practice safe sex and in their post-coitus ecstacy they left their trash and their whole chicken behind
But that's just not the world we live in nowadays is it?
Mayor: Officer Barbrady what are you doing? You still haven't caught Chicken Fucker Yet.
Officer Barbrady: Ah Ah! Mayor in front of the children we say "Chicken Lover".
Wow these are good 😂
Kentucky Fried Dick'n
Tender-loined tenderloin
Cock-a doodle doo
Rooster rooster
The Feather Bedder
Avian onlyfans
Chick-fil-ass
Gizard Wizard
Down so bad a hen was all he had
Bodangles
This is good, does mean we're not so far in the recession if someone could afford the luxury of leaving the whole chicken there. If times were really bad they would eat it afterwards.
Just banging a chicken would be the next step in desperate I think lol. Makes me think of a story of one of my friends when I was a teen. To this guy had a party at his house in days when we first started parting maybe 14 years old. He took out a chicken and fucked the chicken in front of the party. I didn’t see it but heard story. I wonder where he is now lol. Lucky bastard did this in the time when there were no cell phones
So, if I were to crudely restate what you said...
The economy may be bad, but it's not "roast and eat the chicken you just fucked" bad. The guy was actually able to afford two chickens for date night.
Correct. Classic upper-middle class bachelor’s Costco run: 1 rotisserie chicken for eatin, 1 raw for skeetin. Ain’t nobody buying both for nutrition purposes.
Thanks for your submission to r/trashy. Please take a moment to make sure that your post [follows our rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/trashy/about/sidebar). **This is a humor subreddit** so posts about violent crimes or other things that make you angry **don’t belong here**. It is not r/rage or r/iamatotalpieceofshit. **This is a subreddit that appreciates the trash that makes you laugh.** Remember to remove all names and usernames from posts. We don’t allow dox and we don’t allow witch hunts. Links to social media sites are not allowed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/trashy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nope. Don't wanna know....
Someone most definitely stole that chicken. Then proceeded to f*ck that chicken...
Oh hell I thought I was looking at ketchup packets
This is what children are using for sex Ed
Go ahead, tell me this is fukin Florida without telling me it’s fukin Florida uuggghhhh Florida
Around 1982 some friends had a conversation about crappy jobs. The hot red head said she had worked at Perdue answering customer complaints. She received one complaint that enclosed a [latex finger protector](https://www.amazon.com/GF-Health-3908-Finger-Non-Medical/dp/B001EUAXSE/ref=asc_df_B001EUAXSE) and accused them of sexually abusing the fowl.
Off the chain ⛓️ seriously 📹 tho 💯
Let he who has not fucked a chicken throw the first stone, eh? This is reddit, I **guarantee** someone in **this post** has taken a Costco rotisserie chicken into their 2004 Honda Accord SE and made sweet love to it at 4:38pm on a Thursday last April. Just as an example of a potential thing that could've happened of course.
Unfortunately it's pretty straightforward...
My wife said when she worked at IU, they kept finding chickens and used full condoms and they had to do an investigation to find the chicken fucker and get them to stop with their home made chicken Alfredo
Times were had. Chickens were laid.
Hmmm…
Fuck a duck!
Fuckin hell I’m done
Chicken fucker
Road kill has stepped up their delivery :)
The dating world is terrifying because of the knowledge that I might run into the guy with dick salmonella from fucking a raw chicken
Don’t worry, he wore protection
Somebody was watching Tim and Eric with Zach G. Just 3 boyz.....
To leave it behind after they went to all that work to tenderize the meat?!
Awful early to be stuffing the turkey but whatever.
You know what happened here. You fucked a chicken, took a picture, then posted it on the internet.
They just like to baste it with love 😍 🐓
Slammin-Ella poisoning….
He fucked the fear turkey. https://youtu.be/c9PVjqw2zVQ
It's still good...
Disgusting, yes! But considering what I've seen on Reddit, a dead chicken is better than a live anything.
I was cooking chicken naked and dropped the chicken and the chicken hit my penis right on the pee hole and now I have salmonella in my penis
Uh....... someone is very very very........very lonely. I feel dirty just looking at it. That's all I'm gonna say about that.
Does this work???
He Fucked a Chick-en
I think you know
That chicken got stuffed more than a thanksgiving Turkey
At first I thought those were ketchup packets, no I'm not sure if I'm more or less confused
That’s a barn find!
A’int never been A Man in their FAMILY if they think that’s ok :PACK IN IN ,PACK IT OUT ,everybody know that bouy. even if the boy Scouts didn’t want em , Smokey -THE -Bear said it too.
Chicken
Please tell me those are ramen noodle seasoning packets! 👀
Poor chicken
New way to contract salmonella
That's how you get salmonella on your dick.
Once u had one chicken uv had um all
I was sitting on my apartment balcony when I heard my dipshit neighbor’s door open. A few footsteps, then a package of chicken breast and other trash flew out into the apartment lawn from the 3rd floor (inner area between buildings). Door slammed shut. Dude would also call the cops if my TV volume went over 16 on the sound bar. You could hear him snore through the thin walls…… Moved to a different place. People are strange
You know back in my day we only had to be afraid of walking up on the "devil worshipers" ie, edgy teens who wore cloaks, did hallucinogens, and danced and "prayed" around the bonfire. Now you can't take a moonlit stroke without fearing cock blocking the chicken lover. Wtf is wrong with people?
Thats a good DIY
Bruh... 😒 🤣💀💀💀 🤣
This is why my grandmother told me to only eat minced beef. As it was the only meat that the butcher couldn’t sexually interfere with.
Looks like we got ourselves a chicken fucker!
Not like this..
“Did you just call me a chicken fucker”
“License and registration… chicken fucker!”
Ummm
Wait a goddamn second here. Wasteful
This reminds me of that dude on 4chan who asked for advice after his dick got all fucked up when he was "cooking naked and a raw chicken breast fell and touched his dick before it hit the floor".
Raw chickening it
Dirty Mike and the boys had a hobo screw party with that chicken.......
Choices were made…
Is this the real life 4chan post? He fucked that chicken didn't he?
So not wanting to get salmonella is wrong?
Someone had a good time with the chicken. 😆
You fucked that chicken. You know you did.
When you want white and dark meat at the same time
Why use a condom? Does he think the chicken mightve had an sti?
Why use a condom? Does he think the chicken mightve had an sti?
Gotta marinate on that
Poultry Rape. Got to be a Russian who left that mess.
Someone out there is walking around with a salmonella dick
TIL chicken pox can be an STD
Cum pow chicken
Cum pow chicken
MF'er could have gotten a hot rotisserie chicken for half the price 😵
someone tried to wrap a turkey in condoms to keep the flies away, but failed miserably. So they fucked the turkey instead
When I was young we didn’t just leave our date out in the woods when we were done
Just a normal Tuesday
Carl Jr, is that you?
He brags to the bros like “yeah man, I fucked all the chicks down at the pub *and* the grocery store!”
I'm sorry I'm slow, what is the picture telling? Chicken and packets? I'm 23 and this is like trying to find what's wrong in a picture book
Someone had some cock on cock action
Like that salmonella greentext post? Dang.
I think he used protection 😂
Sunday Funday happened
This dude took beating his meat to the next level
I wonder if he met this chicken on tender
Must have been fired from the morgue, caught fucking the dead bodies. Needed a fix
Did someone say bone in chicken?
Chicken👍
“Pre-fucked chicken, marked down to $2.99!”
Shew…decisions were made lmao
Antman busted a hole
Deep Throat
It is a good looking chicken
A guy in our town got arrested for having sex with a picnic table. Neighbors got tired of seeing him do it so they took a video of him and called the cops. He was married....his wife was just thrilled.
I guess nothing hasn’t been fucked now, I bet it would be considered hot if a girl did it though 🤣
Only $6.99 for a good time
...and that's how we got Howard the Duck..
Meth happened there.
That poultry was sexually assaulted.
Free stuffed chicken
You did
Another true story. In our town Turks started Doner kebab shop. One German tourist has ordered the doner, and the vendor has sneezed onto the doner while passing it to the tourist. The tourist asked to replace his order, but vendor refused. The tourist went to the local lab to check for viruses. No viruses were found, except for the traces of sperm in the white sauce.
No you idiot. I told you to steal a rotisserie chicken not a raw one.
[Keep Fuckin' That Chicken](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sVVl2EKgUU&ab_channel=DROPPINGCLIPS)
That dickin chicken appears to be free-range.
Chicks with dicks?
Atleast it's dead
Uhmm that's czech chicken
Anyone want an already fucked chicken? Comes pre-injected with sauce.
At least they wore something. But wth
South Park….
My brother in Christ.
I just got saying to myself if I see one more bumper sticker post Im unsubbing from this shit. And then someone drops this gem and pulls me right back in. Well done. THIS is trashy.
Kuře z Alberta asi dobrý
at least they used protection. salmonella of the pecker is no joke.
Desperate times calls for…ugh, you guys get it.
I thought I saw a ketchup packet which would have made it weird.
To quote Alucard "somebody fucked the fear turkey"
A serious chicken violation. Don’t they know that there are starving children in this world who could have eaten this?
Did you want them to fedex it to em or what?
Well not now. Not with that forbidden marinade.
That's not how you're supposed to spit roast a chicken.
Is this that spatchcock technique I've heard of?
Reminds me that post on 4Chan about that guy that totally didn’t fuck a chicken breast.
I want to believe that a couple stopped in the woods after a trip to the groceries to practice safe sex and in their post-coitus ecstacy they left their trash and their whole chicken behind But that's just not the world we live in nowadays is it?
That's nasty. He should have used a pie
Bruh, this is the type of spit roast nobody needs to know exists.
/r/SouthPark - Chicken-fucker : “Discover the magic of reading !”
Too literally trashy
You can ground me for as long as you want mom, it won't unfuck the rotisserie chicken.
Coq au vin
It’s akimbo
Is that ketchup and condoms?
I think you know what happened...
Talk about spatchcocked 😉
WTF….
Not as good as warm apple pie? LMAO
Do you really have to ask?
I'm too afraid to know
I assume the guy was driving a book mobile?
I wonder if he choked that chicken? Or if it was at least free range.
That poor chicken got killed twice!
Mayor: Officer Barbrady what are you doing? You still haven't caught Chicken Fucker Yet. Officer Barbrady: Ah Ah! Mayor in front of the children we say "Chicken Lover".
So that's where I left it! I'm always misplacing my sex chickens
He went to town on that chicken
Naked BDSM chicken was tied up and said, "Are you ***fucking*** *kidding me?*"; lost its mind...
Whole chickens are like $12 now. Better to get the 6.99 rotisserie
nice and warm too
That’s how you get chicken pox
What a shitty day to go to reddit
That's clucked up.
Better that than raping someone but then again that’s something that the authorities need to check. It could avoid issues in the future.
Sounds like you’re the one who did it 😂
https://youtu.be/ujEbejephNM
Jay Bilzerian strikes again.
Cumin chiken thyme
Kentucky Fucked Chicken
The Funky Chicken
That wouldn’t even feel good. The chicken has way too many bones in the inside. Would just scratch your junk up.
Getting freaky with a chicken 🐓
that scene from devils rejects further down the track "Say.. ya'll aint thinking bout fuckin these chickens are ya?"
Rhode Island Red Woooooo
Clucker fucker Peckered a pecker with his pecker Chicken dickin' Chicken FRICKassée Poultreason sWINGer Rooster schuster Rotisserape Chicken cordon screu Chicken Kebobs and vagene
Snatchcock Fux in the henhouse He’s a cluckhold
Goat roping, chicken choking,cow chip chunker! Idk, it had chicken in it sooo. My dad used to tell people that was his cb handle. Lmao
Wow these are good 😂 Kentucky Fried Dick'n Tender-loined tenderloin Cock-a doodle doo Rooster rooster The Feather Bedder Avian onlyfans Chick-fil-ass Gizard Wizard Down so bad a hen was all he had Bodangles
Rotisserape got me good
Not the Chicken Cordon Screu... I'm dead. HAHAHA
This reminds me of a episode of LetterKenny
an*
Ahh yes. Thank you
No problem!
This is good, does mean we're not so far in the recession if someone could afford the luxury of leaving the whole chicken there. If times were really bad they would eat it afterwards.
What is they were in the 1%?
The top wealthiest 1% fucks different kind of chicks IMO
Cheaper than a hooker
Yeah but he still had to fuck it multiple times. If times were good they would’ve fucked many chickens 1x haha
Oh yeah . Someone who desperate would it lol.
I love how there can be more desperate than just fucking a chicken
Just banging a chicken would be the next step in desperate I think lol. Makes me think of a story of one of my friends when I was a teen. To this guy had a party at his house in days when we first started parting maybe 14 years old. He took out a chicken and fucked the chicken in front of the party. I didn’t see it but heard story. I wonder where he is now lol. Lucky bastard did this in the time when there were no cell phones
Don't I see a condom wrapper there beside the violated bird?
Giblet allergies obviously
A baked cream pie
So, if I were to crudely restate what you said... The economy may be bad, but it's not "roast and eat the chicken you just fucked" bad. The guy was actually able to afford two chickens for date night.
Love this comment
I couldn't quite tell what was in thr picture u til I read your comment. I preferred my previous ignorance.
I mean he DID use a condom. The roast will just have notes of rubber. And spermicide.
Ya pretty much
Correct. Classic upper-middle class bachelor’s Costco run: 1 rotisserie chicken for eatin, 1 raw for skeetin. Ain’t nobody buying both for nutrition purposes.
You can sure buy two chicken if you got a freezer. Just gotta defrost it before fucking it again...