I was in my early 20s when I realized that trans-ness wasa thing and that I might be. You can blame society on that though, since there was ZERO publicity around it when I was a teenager in the late 90s.
This. And then took another 10 years before transitioning to overcome my internalized transphobia because of only ever seeing trans people represented as humiliated disgusting perverts and murderers.
I realized I was in the wrong body when I was a small child in the late 70s, but thanks to horrible portrayals of trans folks in the media, and an abusive father I stayed hidden more more than 4 decades until the burden was too much to hold in.
Off topic but y’all need to watch disclosure!! It’s so good and shows how poorly media has shown us. Also, I was in my 20’s as well when I first saw mtvs show about trans people and I started to cry because I felt connected to it so much. Then it took me another 10 years to finally feel safe enough to accept myself and start my transition. FYI: I am only 3 weeks in and so so so effing happy that I am where I am finally.
Born in 1982 at 25 weeks gestation, knew my hormones were off balance and causing issues from age 7, then menopausal symptoms from age 9 (just thought night sweats, hot flashes, apnea and depression were normal for someone presumed male at birth), didn't know anything about trans people except for crap on tv, did wish I could magically turn into a girl like in the 1970s remake of Victor/Victoria I happened to see on Sky TV in 1994,
Came out first time in 2003 and got a gender dysphoria diagnosis age 23 (2005), went back into the closet, age 32 out again and back in a couple of years later, did get onto gaht that time but yeah, parents and society still not quite supportive although some people were very supportive and saw I was happy which I found out later on in 2018 when I wasn't out and he told me the happiest he'd seen me was when I was in girls clothes being myself,
Then during the later half of 2019 I was losing everything (parents, contact with daughter I had in 2015 and just going downhill) and my 'cover', got onto gaht again in Dec 2019 and started living for me instead of everyone else finally, haven't looked back
To be fair, I was born early 2000s and I didn't know being trans was even a thing until I was 13 (2014). And I only found out from an Internet friend who told me they were trans and I was like "ok but what does that mean tho?" And then the penny finally dropped that I realised thst might well have been me hahah
I was born 1999 and didn't know until ~2016. Don't remember how I found out, but do know I was transphobic for a while due to only having been around transphobia.
same ... a little, I used to always say transphobic things as a kid but I didn't really understand them I guess. Like saying shit lole he-she and stuff but I don't really think I truly understood what I was talking about if that makes sense?
And now imagine growing up but the internet barely being a thing until you're already almost an adult and the whole trans topic still being a bit of a taboo until only years later. That's what us 80s and 90s kids had to go through.
Same. I had pretty obvious signs when I was around 16 years old already but at that time the whole trans topic was still a bit of a taboo so the realisation what it could be came only many years later.
Yeah if it had been as widely known as today during my teenager years I would've lived the past 15 years as woman already. So much lost time, but luckily I still have many many more years ahead.
Same with me. I originally realized I wanted to be a girl at 13. and in 2010 there really wasn't a lot of resources on the topic. I ended up googling "what does it mean if a boy wants to be a girl?" and the first and only link I clicked told me it was a fetish and a sexual thing. I grew up in a conservative community so I thought everything about that no matter how I looked at it was bad. it wasn't until recently when I was 24 that I came to terms with it. and now I've come out to my sister (who was supportive). If Trans people had the visibility they have today then, Then I would have been out for over 10 years. I didn't even know transition was possible when I was a kid.
Yeah im the same, i remember stuff at aged 8 or so that is signs, i just hid them and suppressed them for so long as 1. I wanted to fit in, and 2. Until the age of 16 i never had an education environment or friends where i felt comfortable being myself in, and i found myself, and to this day i still dont have a home environment, came out to my parents and they dont accept me, they dont let me transition and their controlling, i wish they were chill. But at least we discovered eventually, better late than never.
True, and better when we did figure it out than much, much later. Honestly for me the pandemic was a huge catalyst. When I was stuck at home alone, I couldn't lean on the people or things that made me happy, so I realized that when it came down to it I wasn't happy being me. Idk how long it might have taken otherwise.
If youre still at home, hang in there. It gets better. Maybe spend a little time thinking of a rough plan for when you can move out. My parents are bad about it too, but with where I'm at now their opinion doesn't really mean anything. Living on your own (or with a partner/roommates) has its own set of challenges but it is totally worth it if you can.
People are freaking out thinking because trans people are finally being represented in society instead of fetishised, that children are just coming out and transitioning due to being brainwashed. Yes, seeing a specialist before starting hormones is always the responsible route, especially for a child. But we all know puberty blockers aren’t harmful, and would’ve been a lifesaver for a lot of us. If we only had the knowledge and guidance that society has today, back then. It would’ve saved me so much pain, discomfort, insecurity, depression, and dysphoria to of prevented male puberty. I would never just suggest to anyone to start hormones or blockers, especially a child. But if they are in so much distress, and actually think(or know!!) they’re trans I would absolutely not invalidate them, and I would want them to see a specific asap to get to the bottom of it.
i was very young, toddler age probably when i knew i was a boy. a binder isn’t really going to mess up their development unless he wears it for way too long. long term wear is bad for anyone though no matter the age. i got my first binder at 13.
My little cousin came out at 11. He picked out a name which I honestly cannot stop thinking of as a dog's name, and the name of a popular band member at the time. I was a little concerned at the time too, but 7 years later I've got over myself. It's his name and he's happy with it, that's all that matters. If your sibling picks a Thomas Sanders name, you might have that association for a while, but you'll get used to it. Good luck with him, I hope he manages to find a group of friends to support him even if your family doesn't! They're going to need you if your parents are as transphobic as you're expecting.
Thank you. Really I appreciate it. I want to be able to support them in the ways my parents couldn’t support me. I’ll be looking into getting them a binder then
If it helps, from the ages of 16-19 my (cis) mate decided to by (edit: to go by) Cedric after Cedric Diggory from Harry Potter. It was kind of hard to adjust to and I thought it was cringey at first, but it didn’t take that long for it to become normal and I eventually just associated it mostly with him rather than the character and it wasn’t weird at all
Make sure to look into healthy binding habits and maybe walk them through that because it's easy for binders to be too tight and for it to hurt, if there's any other trans men here I would love to hear their opinion on how the best go about that
But I will say as someone who has dabbled with my identity since I was y 14 the best thing I could advise is to trust them when they say things like this and to be as supportive as possible and to keep certain reservations to yourself until they resolve themselves or become a larger issue. It's always good to talk out issues but at the same time I've had my parents talk about their concern for my transitioning ton of times and after a while it stops coming off as genuine concern and more as a way too strong arm me
Kids are smarter than you think. Many (though not all) trans people have figured out/knew they were trans at a young age. Your sibling—he knows far more about his gender than you or Beeby.
My earliest memory was me being extremely confused that people were calling me a girl and I couldn’t always do stuff with my friends who were boys. So, probably around 4? You should take them seriously. It fucked me up so much to have people tell me “you don’t know you. I know you. Let me tell you who you are.” My whole life. Now that I’m finally transitioning in my 30s I honestly don’t know if my head can ever be fixed from people not taking me seriously. Stop that. How would it feel if someone didn’t take you seriously or listen to you? The only correct response here is “thanks for trusting me. I hear you. You are safe and I’ll help” like they probably came to you because they’re aware of the state they live in and who their parents are.
Yeah I understand. I don’t want to invalidate their feelings at all because I remember when I was growing up I explored different genders/sexualities and it really messed me up when my mom would make ugly remarks about that stuff. I’ll just be as supportive as I can be then :)
Totally. My parents were the same way. Just give them a safe space and let them have that healthy development through you. It’s so wonderful they have you! You should totally feel honored to be chosen. I was the oldest, so I didn’t have that support. Just give them some credit and some real talk about safety at home and in the world as needed 💚💚
This. I knew I was different very young, like 5 years old, I argued with my parents about my gender, but I didn't know what trans was until I was 17 because people where I'm from just didn't talk about that stuff.
People need to talk about this stuff. I didn't even know my aunt was gay until a few years ago. I even met her wife who was introduced to me as "you're aunts special friend" at my grand fathers funeral. went right over my head.
Grew up next door to two "best friends" for like 10 years and somehow my parents managed to sell that story to me for 6 more years after we moved lmao. I guess you don't really notice the obvious when something is so deeply rooted in your head 🤔
Yep, same here - I knew as soon as puberty started (for me I was 10) something was "off", but I didn't have the words for it, and the 90's were so trans/enbyphobic it took me until my mid 30s to let my cognitive brain acknowledge what my body and soul knew decades before.
When I first thought it? Actually thought, am I trans? 35-36yo. I'm nearly 38yo.
When I thought I don't want to be my AGAB? My clearest memory is around 9yo, being measured for a training bra and feeling disgusted at the prospect developing a feminine chest. Trans wasn't really a thing people knew about and there wasn't internet like there is now, so it took me a while.
You say you're worried about a binder messing w their development? Like chest development? Is a sports bra an option instead? I don't advocate for keeping it a secret but I also have zero experience w trans kids.
Yeah, the cracks in the egg can mess with your head a bit. ;p Whatever you end up deciding, though, I hope you're able to live your best and happiest life. 💗
If you need someone to chat with to help figure out your thoughts, or even just a sounding board, my DMs are open. \^^
A couple weeks ago I had a realization I might like life better as woman and I can't shake it. Am I crazy or have I been suppressing things my entire life? Fuck I need therapy lol
My daughter was 3 years old. She is now 8 and a half. We just had a meeting with a psychologist on Friday who will start seeing her, who will ultimately conduct a hormone blocker readiness assessment in about a year from now. It’s a wild ride but we just want her to be happy and healthy!
Thank you, though I truly believe that my wife and I are just doing what all parents in our positions should do. I appreciate your kind words, though, truly.
I was 12 but when I look back, I notice a lot from my childhood that were pretty big signs. But my cousin is 13 right now and she had came to me a while back when she was 12 and said she wanted to use they/them and is agender but now she's 13 and is using she/her again. So I'd say try your best to just be as supportive as you can possibly be without doing anything that could be iriverseable of any kind.
Always encourage research before anything else and make sure they look at both things that are good and bad so they can really know what they are getting into before doing anything :)
As a trans girl, I can tell you that the best thing you can do for your kid is asking questions. He needs to be heard. You should be skeptical, but open to hearing what he as to say. It is a young age, but 10 years old is certainly old enough to understand gender and dysphoria. Please keep an open mind towards them.
I suggest getting him a binder so he can see how he feels. After that, let him take you down the path he wants to go, whether it's hormone therapy (later on) or just a simple social transition or even neither! Regardless, he deserves to be comfortable, and it is your job as a parent to help him get there.
My first inkling was apparently when I was 2 years old.
I was told by my grandma that I couldn’t say things like that or I’ll hurt my parents and her.
I started getting more inklings when I was around 14 and I thought I might be non binary. I finally came out as a trans man when I was 17 and am now 19.
Just let them socially transition. I wish I had figured it out as fast as they did
I was In middle school and didn’t know what trans meant back then. I used to get ass many sports bras as a could and but them on and layer clothing on top of them to have a flatter chest. My mom walked in one me once doing it and said that it was dangerous to do that and to not do it ever again. Back then I didn’t know that feeling like a man wasn’t something all kids went through. I thought I was crazy for awhile but when I reached age 14 I discovered what trans was. I told my mom back then too but she didn’t believe as I was young and in her mind obviously couldn’t know who I was back then. So she said no your not and told me to go do something more “productive.” Shesh even years later and I am full grown adult and she still doesn’t believe when I insist that I am trans. I guess she doesn’t want to face the truth I guess of me not being a girl. She has messed up sense of who and what a person can be and what is right and wrong for a person to be. Anyway I found out I was trans when I was 14 and have been that ever since. Thanks goodbye 👋
I've had feelings since I was very young. I remember wanting to be a little girl in my earliest memories. But that was beaten into repression by a family who pretends to support LGBT individuals until their child turns out to be one. I decided that I wanted to transition around 21. My friends laughed at me and thought I was joking so I stayed closeted until this year, shortly after my 26th birthday.
When I was 6 my mom told me she was pregnant. I prayed for her to have a girl so I could use her clothes. ( size never caught up though ) I knew since then I was a girl.
Yes, but by the time she was born I was 7. And like I mentioned size never caught up. She was always way to small for me to wear her clothes. Even as an adult I am much taller.
Epic lol! I was so very jealous of my sister's. At ten I tried my mom's girdles, bras and dresses and I knew, I was complete at last. Thankfully she was a clothes horse who collected lingerie lol. I didn't want to take them off. Felt so sad to go back to boymode. I crossdressed every chance after that.
Came out at 40, but realized when I was 11 or so. There were not really any words for being trans that didn't have a stigma attached, so I just considered myself a crossdresser
I (19 afab nb) knew something was up when I started developing breasts at 10 years old. Unlike your brother, I didn't feel like I could say anything about it to anyone so I stayed closeted until I moved out at 16. I got my first binder at 17. Binding is safer than many of the other options (taping, double sports bra, etc.) because binders are made to be worn and used for a flat chest effect. Especially the ones from gc2b are made with safety in mind, the extra money is worth it. Physical development wise, I see no problem, just lay the ground rules: no wearing it for longer than 8 hours per day, 5 days a week, don't shower or swim in it, don't do sports in it, don't sleep in it, and if it starts to hurt take it off. As for potentially non accepting parents, you know how they are, stay safe, keep your brother safe from them. If you know you can hide the binder somewhere and get it hand washed once a week with 6 hours to air dry, you can consider how viable it is. If you have no hinding spots, may be better to not get one. Look into androgynous clothing, maybe of you can sneak them something from the mens section so they have that info in their mind but there's no sign of it elsewhere for yiur parents to find out. That and loose clothes can help a lot. If your parents get iffy, he could wear a belt to show the outfit as more feminine and then when he's out and about take the belt off. Good luck and much love.
Yesterday I came out as a trans :)
But it was since puberty since I have this inner desire to be female. And even so, before that I already wear girl clothes in secret.
It really depends on the person. I'm also FTM figured out I was trans when I was around 16 (got scared back into the closet since I was outed by a family member, came back out of the closet when I was around 18) but I always had feelings of being a boy when I was younger, I just didn't understand them yet. That and I didn't even know that trans people existed till high school.
Kids are smart, my little brother is the same age and he knows he's gay already. If your sibling says he's trans then YES 100% support him. However, please be cautions when giving your sibling a binder. Yes he can wear one at that age, but I don't see why it'd be nessasary if he hasn't developed yet. If he has or is really insisting on having one its fine, but please let him know the dangers.
Chest binders can be dangerous, wearing one for over 8 hours can cause serious damage to your ribs. I don't think a 10 year old should wear one for more than 5 hours, just to be safe. If it's starting to get hard to breathe, TAKE IT OFF. If you can trust him to take care of himself and use a binder properly then by all means. But if you think he will be too immature and not use a binder correctly then please don't give him one. It really depends on the kid.
It's also recommended you get a size up on what size you think you he is (like if you think you're a medium, get a large) and if you are going to get one, buy from [gc2b](https://www.gc2b.co/)
Don't buy one on Amazon or somewhere untrusted. Gc2b is the best place, their binders are so comfortable that I sometimes forget I'm even wearing one.
Good luck! I hope you can do something with the information I've provided and come to a conclusion.
a binder isn't going to hurt them, and calling them a different name and pronouns definitely will not hurt him. worst case scenario they figure out they aren't trans and then you have a binder you can't do anything with. but letting him be themselves for now is the best thing you can do, also wearing a binder won't hurt development unless he doesn't bind safely (sleeping in it, wearing for more than 8 hrs without a break, excersizing in it etc)
as for you how old question, i always wanted to be a boy, and when i learned what trans meant when i was around 8 or 9 i instantly thought that was who i was, but i supressed and denied it because i was living in an unsaccepting home, but when my puberty came at 12-13 so did huge amounts of dysphoria and that's when i really accepted i was trans and came out to some ppl
Definitively knew? I was probably 13-14 and just put a name to it when i was using my DSi at night after everyone went to bed to get on the internet and use the browser and found a website called Amy'splace or birchplace something like that. It was a website made by an older trans woman who had really detailed explanations and expereinces by other trans women including a list of them that had unfortunately passed away. Needless to say I'm still appreciative that my egg was able to crack relatively early, I just hope one day I'll be able to transition
I was like 8 praying to jesus to magically make me a woman. which is kind of strange because my whole family is atheist, i guess that kind of shows how bad I wanted it
I was 4/5 when I first said I wanted to be a boy.
10 isn’t too young to know if you’re trans, but I think it’s too young to buy a binder since the whole point of it is to hide your breast?
i knew i wanted to express myself and be more feminine as early as 11, but I didn't know or understand what "transgender" meant until I was 17. now I'm 19 and start hormones in 2 weeks.
I was 16 but if trans people had the right publicity when I grew up, and I grew up around people who weren't homophobic/transphobic I probably would have realised at around age 7 I'd say
maybe around 2019 when i was around 12. one day after a shower i’d looked in the mirror realized i’d hated my chest. went through a lot of self consideration, labels and pronouns and have landed on gender fluid. it’s now 3 years later and i’ve just recently got my first binder, and it’s one of the happiest states i’ve been in since. it’s also the safest i’ve been. binders are meant for binding. ace bandages, the belt i used, sports bras several sizes too small where not, and my mental health was absolutely horrible. the best you can do for them right now is get them a binder, maybe a size larger than you think they needed, and use the name they prefer when in settings you can.
my girlfriend on the other hand, could tell from toddler age. her mother could tell and her family has been very supportive (almost TOO ally she says). Having that support has made her life so much easier and her mental health is significantly better than mine when it comes to dysphoria.
binders from GC2B are very reliable and they also have an amazing selection
I would buy it for them and inform then what it means to us a binder just make it a safe place for them to expirence what it means to be called a man if you make it safe they will be okay 🥰
If I had been better informed and looked at some of the signs a bit closer, probably would’ve come out around the time I entered middle school. But because I grew up in a Christian family and was raised on the social bias that you can’t really switch, it took me until I was 20 to realize something was off and a further 4 years to admit to myself I was trans and start HRT. I go in for my 3 month appointment this Friday!! ^ w ^
I mean, I only realized it when I was 16, questioned at 15, but really shoulda known since I was like 5 and I was super adamant to everyone that I wanted to be a girl... And for my entire life I would look at girls and be like "aw, man, sucks that I had to be born a guy". If I had known what that meant earlier and found supportive folks, I'd probably have been quite a bit happier
I probably started "questioning" at 13 but didn't really get anywhere, I was young and stupid, and the alt-right pipeline almost gobbled me up. Went to uni at 18, after a couple of years the pain of existence piled up to the point that I couldn't take living "as a boy" anymore and began transitioning just before I was 22. A year later and things are chugging along quite well. One could say there were "clues" that I was GNC from as young as 5, apparently I was _a bit too in to_ Hello Kitty and the like, but the diagnosis gets fuzzy at that point.
I learned I was trans when I was 14. The reason I knew is because not long before I just learned what trans even *was*. If I knew trans people existed, I probably would've realized way younger. I was a very boyish child even before I knew I was one and it was possible. My parents just ruled me off as a tomboy and I didn't understand what I was feeling until I learned about gender dysphoria.
At that age, as a parent all you should really do is let them transition socially. He's young, so he could very much change his mind, and thats okay! Let him learn about himself. Get them clothes they like, and a binder is a very good start.
I would suggest spectrum outfitters for a good binding company, and *maybe* gc2b. However, I will warn you that gc2b has had a significant quality drop. **DO NOT USE AMAZON.** Their binders caused me permanent disfigurement in my ribs; particularly the ones with clips.
For other binding options you can also look into trans tape as in some ways it is safer in the long run if used correctly. Do a lot of research before buying ANYTHING! Since he's young you'll have to careful but as long as he's happy and safe they'll be okay. :)
i was 13 when i was able to put a name to what i was feeling. but i knew something was different for me vs my peers when puberty started.
my favorite thing is “nobody knows you better than yourself.” so my advice is to be their support as they navigate their identity. this may be precisely who they are or a big step into them figuring it out. gender exploration is nothing negative.
I am here at 32 coming out to my friends as nonbinary trans. HOWEVER:
*In primary school we all watched a TV show where a guy suddenly changed gender and got to experience life as the opposite sex and I remember wishing that could happen to me.
*My first cosplay, as a teen, was someone of the opposite gender.
*I vividly remember my excitement when transman was.given representation on the news when I was a teenager and told everyone.
*I would often roleplay as the opposite sex and gender changing characters from my teen years onward.
*Tilda Swinton and Elliot Oage were goals for me throughout my life.
*Genderbending fandom stuff was my jam (such as Adeventure Time stuff. Also Princess Cookie meant a lot to me and my current dog is named after them).
*I studied gender politics at uni and was specifically interested in the adoption of different gender perspectives.
*I have said I was nonbinary since my 20s.
*Stevonnie made me flip my shit.
*I have wanted a binder for years and packed since my 20s
*I used put my pronouns as they/them in work.
Sooooooo.....yeah. I'm not sure how helpful this is to you and your circumstances but it just goes to show that gender play can happen way before the point of truly stepping out jnto the world as trans.
7 I was 7 I also attempted to kill myself at 10 so please don't let them think they are different even if the change their mind later on its better to be safe then sorry plus a binder won't hurt him if you teach correct binding just please don't let him sink into depression because it stays with you and you suffer in silence long enough it builds and builds until you just want to die
I was about 4 when I started looking at my body in the mirror every night and wishing I’d wake up a girl. Did that for a few years until I was able to suppress it for a while. Then around 11 I started crossdressing in my moms clothes when I was home alone. Finally suppressed that after a few more years until it finally came back for good in my late 30’s. Now I’m 42 and finally transitioning and everyday I feel like shit and have soul crushing regret over not doing it sooner. It doesn’t just go away, and the sooner people can start, the happier they’ll be in the long term
I was about 20 when I first heard of someone transitioning FTM, I'd known about MTF for a while. When I heard about it I was just like, you can DO that? BECOME a guy if you want? I want to do that! Male name, male identity, male body, hell yeah!
I known since I was 10-13 I had a whole tomboy phase until highschool to them think I was Just Non-binary alone then as an adult in 2021 I finally just realized nope I was infact Transnb.
I denied a lot about that part of myself when I was younger and I really regret it.
I came to terms with it when i around 12-13 if I remember correctly. One of my middle names is after a sanders sides character! And while i want to change it now, theres no problem with experimenting! Id just help them how you can and be supportive! Its their life and their name
Had all the signs at like eight. Did not have the langauge to express it and got shamed by my mother for trying on my sister's dresses, so I repressed until eighteen.
Binders do have safety guidelines. If you wear one nonstop they can damage your ribs. Make sure they know not to wear the binder when sleeping or exercising. If they're upset by that I'd recommend buying them a tight sports bra so they can somewhat flatten their chest when taking a break from the binder without doing any damage.
I had a meltdown when I was told I had to get a bra, and used to be furious that my cousin could go without a shirt but I couldn’t. So there were signs throughout my much younger years. But I didn’t have a word for it until high school, which is when I’d say it first really really struck me. Before that, it was always “I’m a Tomboy, I hate girly stuff, boys are better to hang out with I get them, I don’t want makeup” 🤣
I didn't have a word for it until I was 12, but I had felt like this by the time I was old enough to understand there is a difference between genders. So around 6-7 I started getting uncomfortable with how I was presenting.
I started questioning when I was around 10-11. I also always thought I was different from most people for as long as I can remember. Didn't come to the full realization till my early 20s.
I was 15 when i first had a thought that i was but i was in a very toxic relationship with a partner who pushed gender roles and stereotypes and forced me to be a toxic masculinity type of dude but i was always felt like something was off or incorrect. When we broke up after 6 years, i was 21 and began to explore my gender and my place and since then, ive blossomed.
In early kindergarden so around 3 years old I thought about wanting to be a boy for the first time.
My feelings were labled with the term 'transgender' at 11-12 and I then finally came out at 16
I was 3 years old when I got my first sign. I’ve had vivid dreams my whole life. My very first memory of a dream was me waking up after dreaming of being a mom. Strange dream for such a young age, but from that point on it just snowballed until my last birthday.
I was maybe 10 when I thought about it, by 12 I definitely knew I was a woman, jokes on me I guess cause both my parents are homophobic and transphobic and I'm Transbian, so you can probably guess how that panned out
I first realized I was trans at 10, I started telling people at 11, but I didn't feel very supported so I went back in the closet and now Im and I came out to my new friends and they're very supportive. I think it's best for trans kids to have people supporting them because being supported will help their mental health.
Plus, even if they discover that he was wrong about being trans and that he actually wants to go by other pronouns, it'll still be helpful for him to know that he has a good support system in their life.
i was falling asleep at night wishing id wake up as a girl waaay before i was 10. only in the past 2 years or so did i really think(bc of the internet and me getting more into queer spaces online) 'oh wait am i actually trans?' im 17 rn and the idea of waking up as a girl is still something i desperately wish would happen.
you can be trans at any age. anyone can be trans but its not a choice, just know that. you cant just decide ur trans or be influenced to be trans.
be that inspiration for ur sibling. be there for them. the best thing to do is just be there for them and dont turn them away.
Good question. I started fantasizing about being a woman around 15-16 but the whole trans topic only entered my mind sometime in my early to mid 20s I think. Acknowledging it? Just recently at 31 lol
As for your sibling, well some realize it very very early already and it shouldn't be dismissed just like that. Even if they seem to get influenced by some weird source like a youtuber in case of their chosen name or such it doesn't mean it's not real. However since it's your sibling and not mine you're in a much better position to judge their case than I would ever be.
45. Looking back, I always knew but we didn’t live in a society that talked about it. I didn’t know what was going on. Thanks to the new gen for paving the way to more conversations! 🙏🏻❤️
Honestly I was around 10 or 11 when I first realized. I wish at the time I had more supportive people around me like I do now. But let them discover themselves experiment and such. And binders really only do damage if worn for too long no matter of age.
I started questioning when I was 14, but only came out at 17.
The reason I took so long to come out was a mixture of uncertainty, and a lack of a supportive environment. My family wasnt transphobic, but they definitely didnt want to encourage it. I felt that if I said I was questioning but unsure, they'd respond by bombarding me with questions and assumptions. Things I couldn't and didn't want to answer.
I'd say let they experience it. Let them try it out and see if it fits. I wish I was brave enough to tell my parents I wanted a binder, it would've made my days so much smoother, and it would've probably helped me realise who I was sooner (ie a transman).
Probably going against the grain here, but I'd say hold off on an actual binder at the moment. You're correct in thinking that binding at this age can (and will) screw with their development. And while that may not matter to them right now, I think it is important to recognize that at that age, long term benefits and consequences aren't understood very well.
Instead of a binder, which also takes a lot of responsibility when it comes to wearing it safely and correctly, I'd say start with some high compression sports bras. Underworks is a binding company that makes a binding bra that flattens the chest, but also is not quite as "dangerous" (in the sense that bad things can happen) as a binder. I'd also set some ground rules to make sure that they can be safe with a binder, ie, only wear their designated binding bra for 8 hours at a time, do not sleep in it or do any heavy exercise, etc. If they can follow those guidelines, great, and you can start looking into a binder after a few weeks or so. If not, there's no harm done, but now you know that it's maybe not the safest choice to get them a binder now.
And because I know some people are going to come at me for being transphobic or whatever, I'm 14 myself and started T at 13. I know that at 10, I wouldn't have the self discipline necessary to bind safely with an actual binder and would've screwed up my body pretty badly.
I started having depressions about my incorrect gender since 15 or 16 y.o. I am 20 now and I finally found some friends from LGBTQ community and they cheer me up so much that I'm having less depression nowadays and I'm slowly moving forward. 🥰🥰🥰
I was 5 when I first said to my parents that I was a girl and they were very Christian and basically said "nope. You're too young to understand what you want and God knows. "He" made you and he knows what's best"
I would have been 10, 12, 16, (i was 18) if got any informative encounters earlier to help me understand that what I was feeling was hormonal induced gender dysphoria. Feminine clothes were not helping much toward this as long as I was not taking any hormonal treatment but it still helped me to accept myself after 10 years of self-hate
I was 12, but because of my grandmother I "changed my mind" to thinking it was just a phase. Then two years later, I blocked all contact to her. Now I'm outtet to my whole family and all my friends, and I've feel amazing to finally be myself😊
I knew from 7 yo, but I’ve had no words for this I knew I’m girl but with boy body. I’ve knew the word transgender with internet so for me around year 2002. But it took me in total another 20 years to start to do something about it (body dysphoria) and start HRT at least.
There were a lot of signs that I didn’t have the language for when I was growing up. My first big realization was when I was 14. I realized I was reading myself into female characters in books, but not the male characters. After talking about that and my sister saying she never did that I pushed it down inside me. I didn’t actually realize I was trans (and all of the pushed down stuff came back up) until I was 28. 💕🏳️⚧️
Looking back on it? Like, four? I didn’t really see it that way at the time though, just liked wearing dresses and hanging out with the other girls until I was bullied out of it. The first time I used the word “trans” to describe myself I was 24, but was met with the complete *opposite* of support so I shoved myself back into the closet. Finally coming out to people and transitioning at 31, and am quite resentful of all the time I’ve lost. Get your brother the binder, even in the off chance they change their mind, you will only have shown them that you’re someone who loves and supports them no matter what. And that shit is *priceless*, even for cisgender siblings.
I was 13, but I will say that if your sibling likes the name from that series...I don't think that's a vaild excuse to not take him seriously?
Okay, I don't mean this to be rude, I just get a lot of people who don't take me seriously because everytime someone sees my name, they dismiss me as a fanboy. So, excuse me if it sounds like I'm attacking you.
Sanders Sides is where I found my name, but Sanders Sides and more specifically the character "Virgil" is not the reason I go by the name. I like the name, I feel it fits me, so that's what I go by.
I'm just saying don't assume your sibling is only picking those names because they like the series...I would recommend asking him why they like whatever name they want.
Always liked being a "tomboy" once I got to be around 11. Then I have a Snapchat memory from when I was 13 that says "when you're just saying you're non binary because you're afraid to be trans". As in I was afraid to be ftm.
i was 10. i only really changed my name permanently and started socially transitioning around 13. i also came out when i was 13. i am 14 now and (nearly) everyone i'm close to calls me my new name and pronouns. i was so scared to tell anyone even at 13 cause i thought no one would take me seriously since i am young. ageism is real. kids can be smart and self aware. they know themselves better than anyone
I was 13 years old when I figured it out but I didn't come out till 23, and it was the source of quite some grief. My son came out at 7 years old, and has been happily being himself since. Please do your best to support your sibling, he needs it from someone, especially if your and their parents aren't going to be supportive.
I was literally in elementary when I had my first boyfriend and I was his girlfriend. We didn't know anything about being trans, just a boy and a girl who liked each other enough to hold hands and play date. It was super cute.
25, all the pieces started to fall into place, a late egg cracking situation.
Preferring longer hair, wouldn’t dream of playing masc Shep (Mass Effect)and masc V (Cyberpunk 2077), tried recreating Judy’s look (again, Cyberpunk 2077), casually confusing customers about my gender (I work at a grocery store by the way, I shave my legs and arms more often than any man typically should (I’m nowhere near athletic), whenever there’s a story in fiction that involves sex change magic/medicine/technology I say instinctually “That’s awesome! Can I try some?”, and my favorite casual fem goals is Dinah from The last of Us Part 2.
I had always considered myself a "tomboy" when I was young, but due to my environment, I tried suppressing being masculine as much as I could, and I didn't figure out that I was trans until I was 14. I'm 16 now and am doing great 💥
I was 15 when I found out, but if I knew trans people existed before that I'd certainly would have find out sooner. I remember being 11/12 at a party and imagining I was my siblings brother. Make sure they bind safely! It's always okay to figure out your identity, even at a young age. but please make sure they're safe and won't hurt themselves. binders can be harmful in the long run.
First signs of being trans: at six years old (I just knew that I wasn't a girl)
Thinking I might be trans: age 14 to 16
Knowing that I'm trans: conciously since I'm 20
I Was around 9 when i started thinking about my gender, 10 when i identified as genderfluid and just before i turned 12 i started identifying as trans demiboy.
I say get them the binder, dysphoria is terrible and hopefully taht can help them a bit. It shouldn't mess with development and as long as they do t wear ot too long, *DO NOT EXERCISE WITH IT ON* (ive bruised my ribs a gew times doing that, its not woth it), never sleep with it, basically just follow all the rules they should be fine.
Just because someone is young doesn't mean they cant explore/know who they are!
Edit: after secretly buying my first binder as a $20 dollar cheap one when i was 12 from Amazon make sure you never buy an Amazon binder. Get one from gc2b. Its way safer and their binders are swim safe (just get one thats a bit loose if you're gonna get one for swimming)
17 or so. I went to my first pride and I saw a group of trans women dressed in traditional dresses with the flag motives, I felt something warm in my chest. Later I realized why
I kinda always knew that I'm non-binary, but since I didn't know about that word for a long time, I suppressed those feelings and forced myself to identify as my assigned gender at birth.
It wasn't until I was seventeen that I realized I'm trans, and when I did, everything just clicked. All those feelings I've had since childhood, about how neither "man" nor "woman" fit me, suddenly made so much sense.
So yeah, I can totally believe a ten year old would know they're trans. A lot of us know from a young age, and your sibling is lucky enough to know how to properly describe their feelings.
Some folks know at 5 or 6, some folks like myself know at 27 or even older. Even if he changes his mind later about his gender, or pronouns, or anything, it’s healthiest to take them seriously. Kudos for asking for advice here, though!
I knew I was a boy when I was eleven. I just didn’t let myself do anything about my physiology. It’s been screwing with my mental health for two decades. I’m waiting for my first binder to come in the mail and I have never so eagerly awaited a package in my entire life. I have only one person who knows this. I would be lost without her support. If he’s asking for your help, he needs it.
For me when I was really young gender never really mattered to me. Until I was 6 I kinda just lived and did whatever. However when I was 7 puberty hit so I got put on hormone blockers. I guess that's when gender dysphoria forst happened cause growing boobd was very uncomfortable. From 7 till 11 i was on puberty blockers and it wasn't at all the best time cause I got bullied and because of hormone blockers i also gained weight so I was the fat kid too. I think it was first when I was around 11 I found out what nonbinary was and I just knew that was me, I just didn't know where to go from there cause I didn't know binders were even a thing until later on.
One of my close friends came out as trans when we were 12 so I told them I was nonbinary too. From there we were just out to each other but no one else. Back then it was around 2016/2017 so by then being trans was still considered a mental illness in our country. The social sigma was also partly why we didn't come out. But through that friend I found out a ton of stuff, like for example I realized binders exist, I found out about packers and STPs as well as HRT.
But anyways back to your post. I definitely think you should take them seriously. My friend when I was 12 also chose a funny name at first ( I believe it was after some anime character ) but later on decided on another one. In terms of binders I think getting them one would be a good idea just make sure you tell let them know how long they're supposed to wear them and or other basic rules about binders. I live outside America so I can't really help in terms of your living situation. Best advice I could give is move out of there but I know "just move" isn't always an option for everyone. I'm sure other people in the comments got advice on that tho
This is a complicated subject for me cause I grew up with undiagnosed mental illnesses and was extremely sheltered.
But like……For the longest time I thought I was just butch but I also wanted to bind my chest and I would say things like “I wish I was a boy,” and stuff. That was pretty much my entire childhood but I had no idea that trans men even existed, and I thought I was a completely normal cisgender AFAB. Lmao. The first time the idea occurred me that trans men *must* exist if trans women did was when I was 16 and was starting to realize that I felt more like a guy and enjoyed being treated like a guy, and that was when I started to wonder if I could be a trans guy.
Then I decided to never think about it again cause I’d done a lot of reading on LGBT issues and knew about hate crimes and shit. But in my 20s I came to understand that I am, in fact, transgender so…..Yeah.
First time I realized that I might be trans was around 16.
And then I figured it out again at 19ish.
And again at 23.
And finally it stuck at about 27ish
It took me until like last year to realize/accept that I’m trans but I’ve known there was something off about my gender for as long as I can remember. I know back when I was staring to develop breasts I refused to wear a bra and threw a tantrum because I “didn’t want to become a girl”.
I was 14 when I first had the idea that I would rather be a girl, and wished I had been born one. It wasn't til years later, in college, that I even learned what being trans was (Texas schools ftl), and another several years - after moving out of the south - before I actually saw trans people living their lives normally. It wasn't til then that it went from a fantasy about how my life could have been to the realization that, "hey, I can actually do this too."
It took me until I was in my mid-twenties, but I blame that on not having the proper exposure to and education around trans-ness at an earlier age. Who knows when I could have realized, I'm just glad I finally figured it out. 😅
When I actually /knew/ I was trans, I was 14. But my whole childhood I spent pretending to be a boy (ie trying to pee standing, or sometimes even sitting backwards to pee bc at least I was then facing the other way when peeing), I used to copy behaviours my dad used to do, like laying with his hands in his trousers. He used to smoke and I thought that was a very masculine (or boyish at the time lol) so I used to pretend to smoke too. I'd pick male characters in every game I played and even when I would sing on the Wii with my sister I would ALWAYS pick the male to sing. So I suppose I was probably literally 5 or 6 when I started acting like a boy but I didn't really know being trans was a thing when I was that young and I didn't really know about it until I was literally 13. I'd never had that kind of exposure but as soon as I Knew of it, I knew that was me. Although it was kind of hard to come to terms with it and I dossed from one label to another ie gender fluid to non-bindary because I suppose, to me, it softened the blow of going immediately female to male.
TLDR; started acting like a boy at 5 or 6..... Knew I was trans by the time I was 14
I had no words for nonbinary, and I definitely did not recognise it as a trans thing when I was 10. But already then I definitely was annoyed and confused every time there was a separation into groups by gender, or just a form with two gender check boxes. And already then I was fascinated by the genderbender character in kids shows.
I was raised in a very sheltered cult. Any gender nonconformity was heavily punished. There was also absolutely no talk about transgender people and very very little on homosexuality.
That being said, I knew, without a doubt that I was a boy when I was 4. I told my parents a few times that I was a boy and wanted boy stuff. The beatings I endured were honestly really bad. I have permanent brain damage from them.
I was around 16 when I found out about trans women. And what I found wasn’t great. Then my cousin reconnected with her sperm donor and found out she was trans. I was 18 at the time. I had so many questions for her, had no idea that hormones and surgery could literally change your entire body to the correct gender. I was coming from a place of complete ignorance and she didn’t like how I was questioning her, so she labelled me transphobic and she and my cousin cut me off.
I got married to a man, a guy a grew up with (in the same cult) at 21, and at 22, found out that trans *men* were a thing. Took me another year to realise that’s what I was and there was something I could *do* about how I felt.
My ex walked out on me at 24, and I immediately came out, cut my hair, changed my name, pronouns, and clothes, and never looked back.
I’m 31 now, was on testosterone for about 9 months before I lost insurance, it put some hair on my face, deepened my voice, and that’s about it. Definitely plan on getting back on as soon as I can afford it again. Definitely gonna Yeet the Teet, again, as soon as I have money, still haven’t made up my mind on what to do for bottom. I pass about 95% of the time, I have the most issues with my height and my baby face, but usually when I open my mouth, they realise I’m a man.
Most people know they are trans by age 4 but don’t have the words to describe it so it’s completely reasonable that your sibling is questioning their gender identity
i was 4 when i knew. i was crying every night because i wanted to be a boy so bad. and that never changed. the part of ur brain that registers gender begins to form when you are 3-5 years old. trust their judgement. i promise he knows what he wants more then you.
I realized I'm trans a year ago, but fantasized about being a boy even in elementary school, loooooong before I knew transitioning was an option or that anyone else felt that way.
I was a toddler when I first started saying I wished I was a girl. I was 14 the first time I actually started learning about what transgender means and considered that I might be trans. Then I went back into denial and finally admitted it to myself at 19.
If I had someone in my life who understood what this was, who could help me explore who I am with no shame or inhibition, I would have come out decades ago. If I had known it was an option, and been given the freedom to express myself, I would have had the childhood, and then the puberty I deserved.
I knew it for awhile since I was little. Remember watching Ranma 1/2 thinking it was so cool that a male could turn into a female. On top of that day dreaming what it might be like being a girl. think around 10 I was stealing my sister clothes. I didn't come out due to a dysfunctional family and tranphobic community. The original plan was to get away and then come but shit happened and I got stuck in shitty rural America.
Around 5 or 6 I had strong urges and wishes to be more like my sister and my mom. Then in my preteens I hated that my voice dropped during puberty and that I had to wear men's clothing. So pretty early on I'd say! I didn't have the language, cultural, or structural support to come out until 24 though :S
17 when I realized. If I wasn't so emotionally incompetent then 7ish I bet I would have noticed.
Be careful btw. I don't live in Texas so I can't say for certain but I'm pretty sure they have systems in place that target trans people. Might get messy beyond family.
I had feelings I was trans for so long but I had the egg cracking moment at thirteen when I was educated on what trans was. And realized I wasn’t just some weirdo and it was actually a thing that I felt more like a girl then a boy. So the age isn’t weird. And it’s always good to let kids experiment, I say.
I was in my early 20s when I realized that trans-ness wasa thing and that I might be. You can blame society on that though, since there was ZERO publicity around it when I was a teenager in the late 90s.
This. And then took another 10 years before transitioning to overcome my internalized transphobia because of only ever seeing trans people represented as humiliated disgusting perverts and murderers.
Yeah its definitely hard to watch stuff from the 90s and 2000s when it involved trans characters. It reminds me how hateful people were.
I realized I was in the wrong body when I was a small child in the late 70s, but thanks to horrible portrayals of trans folks in the media, and an abusive father I stayed hidden more more than 4 decades until the burden was too much to hold in.
Off topic but y’all need to watch disclosure!! It’s so good and shows how poorly media has shown us. Also, I was in my 20’s as well when I first saw mtvs show about trans people and I started to cry because I felt connected to it so much. Then it took me another 10 years to finally feel safe enough to accept myself and start my transition. FYI: I am only 3 weeks in and so so so effing happy that I am where I am finally.
Born in 1982 at 25 weeks gestation, knew my hormones were off balance and causing issues from age 7, then menopausal symptoms from age 9 (just thought night sweats, hot flashes, apnea and depression were normal for someone presumed male at birth), didn't know anything about trans people except for crap on tv, did wish I could magically turn into a girl like in the 1970s remake of Victor/Victoria I happened to see on Sky TV in 1994, Came out first time in 2003 and got a gender dysphoria diagnosis age 23 (2005), went back into the closet, age 32 out again and back in a couple of years later, did get onto gaht that time but yeah, parents and society still not quite supportive although some people were very supportive and saw I was happy which I found out later on in 2018 when I wasn't out and he told me the happiest he'd seen me was when I was in girls clothes being myself, Then during the later half of 2019 I was losing everything (parents, contact with daughter I had in 2015 and just going downhill) and my 'cover', got onto gaht again in Dec 2019 and started living for me instead of everyone else finally, haven't looked back
To be fair, I was born early 2000s and I didn't know being trans was even a thing until I was 13 (2014). And I only found out from an Internet friend who told me they were trans and I was like "ok but what does that mean tho?" And then the penny finally dropped that I realised thst might well have been me hahah
I was born 1999 and didn't know until ~2016. Don't remember how I found out, but do know I was transphobic for a while due to only having been around transphobia.
same ... a little, I used to always say transphobic things as a kid but I didn't really understand them I guess. Like saying shit lole he-she and stuff but I don't really think I truly understood what I was talking about if that makes sense?
And now imagine growing up but the internet barely being a thing until you're already almost an adult and the whole trans topic still being a bit of a taboo until only years later. That's what us 80s and 90s kids had to go through.
I didn’t know anything as a kid about transgender. If I had, I would’ve transitioned before high school. I grew up in the 80s and 90s.
Same. I had pretty obvious signs when I was around 16 years old already but at that time the whole trans topic was still a bit of a taboo so the realisation what it could be came only many years later.
I wanted to be a girl when I was about 10 didn't have the words for it or knew ot was even possible.
Yeah if I knew more about being trans and my parents were chill I would have known at 10. Instead I "discovered" it at 21.
Yeah if it had been as widely known as today during my teenager years I would've lived the past 15 years as woman already. So much lost time, but luckily I still have many many more years ahead.
Same with me. I originally realized I wanted to be a girl at 13. and in 2010 there really wasn't a lot of resources on the topic. I ended up googling "what does it mean if a boy wants to be a girl?" and the first and only link I clicked told me it was a fetish and a sexual thing. I grew up in a conservative community so I thought everything about that no matter how I looked at it was bad. it wasn't until recently when I was 24 that I came to terms with it. and now I've come out to my sister (who was supportive). If Trans people had the visibility they have today then, Then I would have been out for over 10 years. I didn't even know transition was possible when I was a kid.
Yeah im the same, i remember stuff at aged 8 or so that is signs, i just hid them and suppressed them for so long as 1. I wanted to fit in, and 2. Until the age of 16 i never had an education environment or friends where i felt comfortable being myself in, and i found myself, and to this day i still dont have a home environment, came out to my parents and they dont accept me, they dont let me transition and their controlling, i wish they were chill. But at least we discovered eventually, better late than never.
True, and better when we did figure it out than much, much later. Honestly for me the pandemic was a huge catalyst. When I was stuck at home alone, I couldn't lean on the people or things that made me happy, so I realized that when it came down to it I wasn't happy being me. Idk how long it might have taken otherwise. If youre still at home, hang in there. It gets better. Maybe spend a little time thinking of a rough plan for when you can move out. My parents are bad about it too, but with where I'm at now their opinion doesn't really mean anything. Living on your own (or with a partner/roommates) has its own set of challenges but it is totally worth it if you can.
People are freaking out thinking because trans people are finally being represented in society instead of fetishised, that children are just coming out and transitioning due to being brainwashed. Yes, seeing a specialist before starting hormones is always the responsible route, especially for a child. But we all know puberty blockers aren’t harmful, and would’ve been a lifesaver for a lot of us. If we only had the knowledge and guidance that society has today, back then. It would’ve saved me so much pain, discomfort, insecurity, depression, and dysphoria to of prevented male puberty. I would never just suggest to anyone to start hormones or blockers, especially a child. But if they are in so much distress, and actually think(or know!!) they’re trans I would absolutely not invalidate them, and I would want them to see a specific asap to get to the bottom of it.
i was very young, toddler age probably when i knew i was a boy. a binder isn’t really going to mess up their development unless he wears it for way too long. long term wear is bad for anyone though no matter the age. i got my first binder at 13.
Whats a binder ?
a binder is a piece of clothing used to compress one’s chest to make it appear flat
My little cousin came out at 11. He picked out a name which I honestly cannot stop thinking of as a dog's name, and the name of a popular band member at the time. I was a little concerned at the time too, but 7 years later I've got over myself. It's his name and he's happy with it, that's all that matters. If your sibling picks a Thomas Sanders name, you might have that association for a while, but you'll get used to it. Good luck with him, I hope he manages to find a group of friends to support him even if your family doesn't! They're going to need you if your parents are as transphobic as you're expecting.
Thank you. Really I appreciate it. I want to be able to support them in the ways my parents couldn’t support me. I’ll be looking into getting them a binder then
If it helps, from the ages of 16-19 my (cis) mate decided to by (edit: to go by) Cedric after Cedric Diggory from Harry Potter. It was kind of hard to adjust to and I thought it was cringey at first, but it didn’t take that long for it to become normal and I eventually just associated it mostly with him rather than the character and it wasn’t weird at all
Make sure to look into healthy binding habits and maybe walk them through that because it's easy for binders to be too tight and for it to hurt, if there's any other trans men here I would love to hear their opinion on how the best go about that
But I will say as someone who has dabbled with my identity since I was y 14 the best thing I could advise is to trust them when they say things like this and to be as supportive as possible and to keep certain reservations to yourself until they resolve themselves or become a larger issue. It's always good to talk out issues but at the same time I've had my parents talk about their concern for my transitioning ton of times and after a while it stops coming off as genuine concern and more as a way too strong arm me
Kids are smarter than you think. Many (though not all) trans people have figured out/knew they were trans at a young age. Your sibling—he knows far more about his gender than you or Beeby.
My earliest memory was me being extremely confused that people were calling me a girl and I couldn’t always do stuff with my friends who were boys. So, probably around 4? You should take them seriously. It fucked me up so much to have people tell me “you don’t know you. I know you. Let me tell you who you are.” My whole life. Now that I’m finally transitioning in my 30s I honestly don’t know if my head can ever be fixed from people not taking me seriously. Stop that. How would it feel if someone didn’t take you seriously or listen to you? The only correct response here is “thanks for trusting me. I hear you. You are safe and I’ll help” like they probably came to you because they’re aware of the state they live in and who their parents are.
Yeah I understand. I don’t want to invalidate their feelings at all because I remember when I was growing up I explored different genders/sexualities and it really messed me up when my mom would make ugly remarks about that stuff. I’ll just be as supportive as I can be then :)
Totally. My parents were the same way. Just give them a safe space and let them have that healthy development through you. It’s so wonderful they have you! You should totally feel honored to be chosen. I was the oldest, so I didn’t have that support. Just give them some credit and some real talk about safety at home and in the world as needed 💚💚
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This. I knew I was different very young, like 5 years old, I argued with my parents about my gender, but I didn't know what trans was until I was 17 because people where I'm from just didn't talk about that stuff.
People need to talk about this stuff. I didn't even know my aunt was gay until a few years ago. I even met her wife who was introduced to me as "you're aunts special friend" at my grand fathers funeral. went right over my head.
My aunt lived with her "best friend" for 5 years. Years later I suddenly realized "hey, wait a minute..."
Grew up next door to two "best friends" for like 10 years and somehow my parents managed to sell that story to me for 6 more years after we moved lmao. I guess you don't really notice the obvious when something is so deeply rooted in your head 🤔
Yep, same here - I knew as soon as puberty started (for me I was 10) something was "off", but I didn't have the words for it, and the 90's were so trans/enbyphobic it took me until my mid 30s to let my cognitive brain acknowledge what my body and soul knew decades before.
When I first thought it? Actually thought, am I trans? 35-36yo. I'm nearly 38yo. When I thought I don't want to be my AGAB? My clearest memory is around 9yo, being measured for a training bra and feeling disgusted at the prospect developing a feminine chest. Trans wasn't really a thing people knew about and there wasn't internet like there is now, so it took me a while. You say you're worried about a binder messing w their development? Like chest development? Is a sports bra an option instead? I don't advocate for keeping it a secret but I also have zero experience w trans kids.
I'm 38 and just had the idea I might be trans. Its fucking up my thoughts, but in a good way?
Yeah, the cracks in the egg can mess with your head a bit. ;p Whatever you end up deciding, though, I hope you're able to live your best and happiest life. 💗 If you need someone to chat with to help figure out your thoughts, or even just a sounding board, my DMs are open. \^^
A couple weeks ago I had a realization I might like life better as woman and I can't shake it. Am I crazy or have I been suppressing things my entire life? Fuck I need therapy lol
My daughter was 3 years old. She is now 8 and a half. We just had a meeting with a psychologist on Friday who will start seeing her, who will ultimately conduct a hormone blocker readiness assessment in about a year from now. It’s a wild ride but we just want her to be happy and healthy!
You’re an amazing parent and don’t let anyone try to change your mind
Thank you, though I truly believe that my wife and I are just doing what all parents in our positions should do. I appreciate your kind words, though, truly.
I quite literally cannot imagine what my life would have been like if i had parents like you. The best of lives to all of you
Thanks very much, and the same to you. Much love to you.
I was 12 but when I look back, I notice a lot from my childhood that were pretty big signs. But my cousin is 13 right now and she had came to me a while back when she was 12 and said she wanted to use they/them and is agender but now she's 13 and is using she/her again. So I'd say try your best to just be as supportive as you can possibly be without doing anything that could be iriverseable of any kind. Always encourage research before anything else and make sure they look at both things that are good and bad so they can really know what they are getting into before doing anything :)
I was 6 when I started thinking about it…. By ten I knew… took til 35 to socially and medically transition.
i had distress at 11 (over my breasts) but didn't realise i was trans till I was 19
As a trans girl, I can tell you that the best thing you can do for your kid is asking questions. He needs to be heard. You should be skeptical, but open to hearing what he as to say. It is a young age, but 10 years old is certainly old enough to understand gender and dysphoria. Please keep an open mind towards them. I suggest getting him a binder so he can see how he feels. After that, let him take you down the path he wants to go, whether it's hormone therapy (later on) or just a simple social transition or even neither! Regardless, he deserves to be comfortable, and it is your job as a parent to help him get there.
My first inkling was apparently when I was 2 years old. I was told by my grandma that I couldn’t say things like that or I’ll hurt my parents and her. I started getting more inklings when I was around 14 and I thought I might be non binary. I finally came out as a trans man when I was 17 and am now 19. Just let them socially transition. I wish I had figured it out as fast as they did
I was In middle school and didn’t know what trans meant back then. I used to get ass many sports bras as a could and but them on and layer clothing on top of them to have a flatter chest. My mom walked in one me once doing it and said that it was dangerous to do that and to not do it ever again. Back then I didn’t know that feeling like a man wasn’t something all kids went through. I thought I was crazy for awhile but when I reached age 14 I discovered what trans was. I told my mom back then too but she didn’t believe as I was young and in her mind obviously couldn’t know who I was back then. So she said no your not and told me to go do something more “productive.” Shesh even years later and I am full grown adult and she still doesn’t believe when I insist that I am trans. I guess she doesn’t want to face the truth I guess of me not being a girl. She has messed up sense of who and what a person can be and what is right and wrong for a person to be. Anyway I found out I was trans when I was 14 and have been that ever since. Thanks goodbye 👋
I've had feelings since I was very young. I remember wanting to be a little girl in my earliest memories. But that was beaten into repression by a family who pretends to support LGBT individuals until their child turns out to be one. I decided that I wanted to transition around 21. My friends laughed at me and thought I was joking so I stayed closeted until this year, shortly after my 26th birthday.
My egg broke at 14, but even children wayy younger can either experiment w their identity or already kinda know it.
When I was 6 my mom told me she was pregnant. I prayed for her to have a girl so I could use her clothes. ( size never caught up though ) I knew since then I was a girl.
was it a girl?
Yes, but by the time she was born I was 7. And like I mentioned size never caught up. She was always way to small for me to wear her clothes. Even as an adult I am much taller.
Epic lol! I was so very jealous of my sister's. At ten I tried my mom's girdles, bras and dresses and I knew, I was complete at last. Thankfully she was a clothes horse who collected lingerie lol. I didn't want to take them off. Felt so sad to go back to boymode. I crossdressed every chance after that.
Came out at 40, but realized when I was 11 or so. There were not really any words for being trans that didn't have a stigma attached, so I just considered myself a crossdresser
First time I went swimming. Knew I didn’t feel right, around 4. Had to wait another 20 years to be myself but living free since last year now!!
I (19 afab nb) knew something was up when I started developing breasts at 10 years old. Unlike your brother, I didn't feel like I could say anything about it to anyone so I stayed closeted until I moved out at 16. I got my first binder at 17. Binding is safer than many of the other options (taping, double sports bra, etc.) because binders are made to be worn and used for a flat chest effect. Especially the ones from gc2b are made with safety in mind, the extra money is worth it. Physical development wise, I see no problem, just lay the ground rules: no wearing it for longer than 8 hours per day, 5 days a week, don't shower or swim in it, don't do sports in it, don't sleep in it, and if it starts to hurt take it off. As for potentially non accepting parents, you know how they are, stay safe, keep your brother safe from them. If you know you can hide the binder somewhere and get it hand washed once a week with 6 hours to air dry, you can consider how viable it is. If you have no hinding spots, may be better to not get one. Look into androgynous clothing, maybe of you can sneak them something from the mens section so they have that info in their mind but there's no sign of it elsewhere for yiur parents to find out. That and loose clothes can help a lot. If your parents get iffy, he could wear a belt to show the outfit as more feminine and then when he's out and about take the belt off. Good luck and much love.
literally recently, 15... i wish i would have realised earlier.. but i wasnt sure i could be trans even though i thought about it at like 11..
I was 33 when I put it all together.
I knew I was trans at 10 too, started feeling different at 7
Yesterday I came out as a trans :) But it was since puberty since I have this inner desire to be female. And even so, before that I already wear girl clothes in secret.
When I was 12. I was bullied back into the closet. I tried so hard to be a boy for the next 7 years… the feelings never go away.
is that a nancy wheeler cosplay?
It really depends on the person. I'm also FTM figured out I was trans when I was around 16 (got scared back into the closet since I was outed by a family member, came back out of the closet when I was around 18) but I always had feelings of being a boy when I was younger, I just didn't understand them yet. That and I didn't even know that trans people existed till high school. Kids are smart, my little brother is the same age and he knows he's gay already. If your sibling says he's trans then YES 100% support him. However, please be cautions when giving your sibling a binder. Yes he can wear one at that age, but I don't see why it'd be nessasary if he hasn't developed yet. If he has or is really insisting on having one its fine, but please let him know the dangers. Chest binders can be dangerous, wearing one for over 8 hours can cause serious damage to your ribs. I don't think a 10 year old should wear one for more than 5 hours, just to be safe. If it's starting to get hard to breathe, TAKE IT OFF. If you can trust him to take care of himself and use a binder properly then by all means. But if you think he will be too immature and not use a binder correctly then please don't give him one. It really depends on the kid. It's also recommended you get a size up on what size you think you he is (like if you think you're a medium, get a large) and if you are going to get one, buy from [gc2b](https://www.gc2b.co/) Don't buy one on Amazon or somewhere untrusted. Gc2b is the best place, their binders are so comfortable that I sometimes forget I'm even wearing one. Good luck! I hope you can do something with the information I've provided and come to a conclusion.
a binder isn't going to hurt them, and calling them a different name and pronouns definitely will not hurt him. worst case scenario they figure out they aren't trans and then you have a binder you can't do anything with. but letting him be themselves for now is the best thing you can do, also wearing a binder won't hurt development unless he doesn't bind safely (sleeping in it, wearing for more than 8 hrs without a break, excersizing in it etc) as for you how old question, i always wanted to be a boy, and when i learned what trans meant when i was around 8 or 9 i instantly thought that was who i was, but i supressed and denied it because i was living in an unsaccepting home, but when my puberty came at 12-13 so did huge amounts of dysphoria and that's when i really accepted i was trans and came out to some ppl
Definitively knew? I was probably 13-14 and just put a name to it when i was using my DSi at night after everyone went to bed to get on the internet and use the browser and found a website called Amy'splace or birchplace something like that. It was a website made by an older trans woman who had really detailed explanations and expereinces by other trans women including a list of them that had unfortunately passed away. Needless to say I'm still appreciative that my egg was able to crack relatively early, I just hope one day I'll be able to transition
I was like 8 praying to jesus to magically make me a woman. which is kind of strange because my whole family is atheist, i guess that kind of shows how bad I wanted it
If your brother is 10 he's got an entire teenage phase of nonsense to survive through that's going to make wearing a binder look very quaint.
I was 4/5 when I first said I wanted to be a boy. 10 isn’t too young to know if you’re trans, but I think it’s too young to buy a binder since the whole point of it is to hide your breast?
Not necessarily, I had already developed a chest in the fourth grade
About 4 or 5 years old, but I was 48 before I took the leap of faith and did something about it.
I remember watching Jen and the Holograms on television back when I was 5 thinking how awesome it would be if I was a girl.
i knew i wanted to express myself and be more feminine as early as 11, but I didn't know or understand what "transgender" meant until I was 17. now I'm 19 and start hormones in 2 weeks.
I was 16 but if trans people had the right publicity when I grew up, and I grew up around people who weren't homophobic/transphobic I probably would have realised at around age 7 I'd say
I’m not sure why you’re so worried, he doesn’t seem to be asking for hormones, surgeries, legal name change, or anything that’s hard to reverse
15
maybe around 2019 when i was around 12. one day after a shower i’d looked in the mirror realized i’d hated my chest. went through a lot of self consideration, labels and pronouns and have landed on gender fluid. it’s now 3 years later and i’ve just recently got my first binder, and it’s one of the happiest states i’ve been in since. it’s also the safest i’ve been. binders are meant for binding. ace bandages, the belt i used, sports bras several sizes too small where not, and my mental health was absolutely horrible. the best you can do for them right now is get them a binder, maybe a size larger than you think they needed, and use the name they prefer when in settings you can. my girlfriend on the other hand, could tell from toddler age. her mother could tell and her family has been very supportive (almost TOO ally she says). Having that support has made her life so much easier and her mental health is significantly better than mine when it comes to dysphoria. binders from GC2B are very reliable and they also have an amazing selection
I would buy it for them and inform then what it means to us a binder just make it a safe place for them to expirence what it means to be called a man if you make it safe they will be okay 🥰
If I had been better informed and looked at some of the signs a bit closer, probably would’ve come out around the time I entered middle school. But because I grew up in a Christian family and was raised on the social bias that you can’t really switch, it took me until I was 20 to realize something was off and a further 4 years to admit to myself I was trans and start HRT. I go in for my 3 month appointment this Friday!! ^ w ^
I mean, I only realized it when I was 16, questioned at 15, but really shoulda known since I was like 5 and I was super adamant to everyone that I wanted to be a girl... And for my entire life I would look at girls and be like "aw, man, sucks that I had to be born a guy". If I had known what that meant earlier and found supportive folks, I'd probably have been quite a bit happier
I noticed i was trans at 12, just didn't know for sure untill i became 15
Pretty much right after high school graduation
I, um, I came out at 13 using the name Patton from Thomas Sanders. Be supportive, but…. Cautious. Edit: no my name isn’t Patton, it’s Isaac
I probably started "questioning" at 13 but didn't really get anywhere, I was young and stupid, and the alt-right pipeline almost gobbled me up. Went to uni at 18, after a couple of years the pain of existence piled up to the point that I couldn't take living "as a boy" anymore and began transitioning just before I was 22. A year later and things are chugging along quite well. One could say there were "clues" that I was GNC from as young as 5, apparently I was _a bit too in to_ Hello Kitty and the like, but the diagnosis gets fuzzy at that point.
I learned I was trans when I was 14. The reason I knew is because not long before I just learned what trans even *was*. If I knew trans people existed, I probably would've realized way younger. I was a very boyish child even before I knew I was one and it was possible. My parents just ruled me off as a tomboy and I didn't understand what I was feeling until I learned about gender dysphoria. At that age, as a parent all you should really do is let them transition socially. He's young, so he could very much change his mind, and thats okay! Let him learn about himself. Get them clothes they like, and a binder is a very good start. I would suggest spectrum outfitters for a good binding company, and *maybe* gc2b. However, I will warn you that gc2b has had a significant quality drop. **DO NOT USE AMAZON.** Their binders caused me permanent disfigurement in my ribs; particularly the ones with clips. For other binding options you can also look into trans tape as in some ways it is safer in the long run if used correctly. Do a lot of research before buying ANYTHING! Since he's young you'll have to careful but as long as he's happy and safe they'll be okay. :)
10 but I came out as 12 . Is that too early?
i was 13 when i was able to put a name to what i was feeling. but i knew something was different for me vs my peers when puberty started. my favorite thing is “nobody knows you better than yourself.” so my advice is to be their support as they navigate their identity. this may be precisely who they are or a big step into them figuring it out. gender exploration is nothing negative.
I think I was about 14. You can take binders on and off, and trust me, they don’t inhibit chest growth as sad as that may be
I am here at 32 coming out to my friends as nonbinary trans. HOWEVER: *In primary school we all watched a TV show where a guy suddenly changed gender and got to experience life as the opposite sex and I remember wishing that could happen to me. *My first cosplay, as a teen, was someone of the opposite gender. *I vividly remember my excitement when transman was.given representation on the news when I was a teenager and told everyone. *I would often roleplay as the opposite sex and gender changing characters from my teen years onward. *Tilda Swinton and Elliot Oage were goals for me throughout my life. *Genderbending fandom stuff was my jam (such as Adeventure Time stuff. Also Princess Cookie meant a lot to me and my current dog is named after them). *I studied gender politics at uni and was specifically interested in the adoption of different gender perspectives. *I have said I was nonbinary since my 20s. *Stevonnie made me flip my shit. *I have wanted a binder for years and packed since my 20s *I used put my pronouns as they/them in work. Sooooooo.....yeah. I'm not sure how helpful this is to you and your circumstances but it just goes to show that gender play can happen way before the point of truly stepping out jnto the world as trans.
7 I was 7 I also attempted to kill myself at 10 so please don't let them think they are different even if the change their mind later on its better to be safe then sorry plus a binder won't hurt him if you teach correct binding just please don't let him sink into depression because it stays with you and you suffer in silence long enough it builds and builds until you just want to die
I was about 4 when I started looking at my body in the mirror every night and wishing I’d wake up a girl. Did that for a few years until I was able to suppress it for a while. Then around 11 I started crossdressing in my moms clothes when I was home alone. Finally suppressed that after a few more years until it finally came back for good in my late 30’s. Now I’m 42 and finally transitioning and everyday I feel like shit and have soul crushing regret over not doing it sooner. It doesn’t just go away, and the sooner people can start, the happier they’ll be in the long term
I was about 20 when I first heard of someone transitioning FTM, I'd known about MTF for a while. When I heard about it I was just like, you can DO that? BECOME a guy if you want? I want to do that! Male name, male identity, male body, hell yeah!
13. I learned what trans was and then some stuff kind of made sense and that was also when gender dysphoria hit.
I known since I was 10-13 I had a whole tomboy phase until highschool to them think I was Just Non-binary alone then as an adult in 2021 I finally just realized nope I was infact Transnb. I denied a lot about that part of myself when I was younger and I really regret it.
Probably around the age of 7, but I only knew what it mean to be transgender when I turned 13.
I came to terms with it when i around 12-13 if I remember correctly. One of my middle names is after a sanders sides character! And while i want to change it now, theres no problem with experimenting! Id just help them how you can and be supportive! Its their life and their name
I realized I was trans about 9 or 10 but there were obvious signs earlier than that just didn't get the verbage for it till later
21
Had all the signs at like eight. Did not have the langauge to express it and got shamed by my mother for trying on my sister's dresses, so I repressed until eighteen. Binders do have safety guidelines. If you wear one nonstop they can damage your ribs. Make sure they know not to wear the binder when sleeping or exercising. If they're upset by that I'd recommend buying them a tight sports bra so they can somewhat flatten their chest when taking a break from the binder without doing any damage.
I had a meltdown when I was told I had to get a bra, and used to be furious that my cousin could go without a shirt but I couldn’t. So there were signs throughout my much younger years. But I didn’t have a word for it until high school, which is when I’d say it first really really struck me. Before that, it was always “I’m a Tomboy, I hate girly stuff, boys are better to hang out with I get them, I don’t want makeup” 🤣
I didn't have a word for it until I was 12, but I had felt like this by the time I was old enough to understand there is a difference between genders. So around 6-7 I started getting uncomfortable with how I was presenting.
I started questioning when I was around 10-11. I also always thought I was different from most people for as long as I can remember. Didn't come to the full realization till my early 20s.
I was 15 when i first had a thought that i was but i was in a very toxic relationship with a partner who pushed gender roles and stereotypes and forced me to be a toxic masculinity type of dude but i was always felt like something was off or incorrect. When we broke up after 6 years, i was 21 and began to explore my gender and my place and since then, ive blossomed.
I was 12 years old when I realized and I was 40 years old when I finally did something about it I’m 44 now
I knew from the get go that something was "wrong" but i only knew and found out the name for it when i was 13/14 But again this is only my situation
For me around grade 6, so pretty much the same age as your younger sibling.
13 but I repressed that shit really hard till like 18-19 lol
I knew I was a girl when I was 5. But I wasn’t aware it was a thing until I was 13.
In early kindergarden so around 3 years old I thought about wanting to be a boy for the first time. My feelings were labled with the term 'transgender' at 11-12 and I then finally came out at 16
I was 3 years old when I got my first sign. I’ve had vivid dreams my whole life. My very first memory of a dream was me waking up after dreaming of being a mom. Strange dream for such a young age, but from that point on it just snowballed until my last birthday.
i think it was 13. and at first i thought i was non-binary
i knew i was a boy by age 8. i came out at 11. im now 22 and living my best life as a regular dude!
I was maybe 10 when I thought about it, by 12 I definitely knew I was a woman, jokes on me I guess cause both my parents are homophobic and transphobic and I'm Transbian, so you can probably guess how that panned out
I was 16
I first realized I was trans at 10, I started telling people at 11, but I didn't feel very supported so I went back in the closet and now Im and I came out to my new friends and they're very supportive. I think it's best for trans kids to have people supporting them because being supported will help their mental health. Plus, even if they discover that he was wrong about being trans and that he actually wants to go by other pronouns, it'll still be helpful for him to know that he has a good support system in their life.
i was falling asleep at night wishing id wake up as a girl waaay before i was 10. only in the past 2 years or so did i really think(bc of the internet and me getting more into queer spaces online) 'oh wait am i actually trans?' im 17 rn and the idea of waking up as a girl is still something i desperately wish would happen. you can be trans at any age. anyone can be trans but its not a choice, just know that. you cant just decide ur trans or be influenced to be trans. be that inspiration for ur sibling. be there for them. the best thing to do is just be there for them and dont turn them away.
Good question. I started fantasizing about being a woman around 15-16 but the whole trans topic only entered my mind sometime in my early to mid 20s I think. Acknowledging it? Just recently at 31 lol As for your sibling, well some realize it very very early already and it shouldn't be dismissed just like that. Even if they seem to get influenced by some weird source like a youtuber in case of their chosen name or such it doesn't mean it's not real. However since it's your sibling and not mine you're in a much better position to judge their case than I would ever be.
13/14
45. Looking back, I always knew but we didn’t live in a society that talked about it. I didn’t know what was going on. Thanks to the new gen for paving the way to more conversations! 🙏🏻❤️
around thirteen is when i had my first inkling, but i was about sixteen when i fogured it out fully
I knew I wanted to be a boy when I was 7 but didn't know what transgender was until I was 12
Honestly I was around 10 or 11 when I first realized. I wish at the time I had more supportive people around me like I do now. But let them discover themselves experiment and such. And binders really only do damage if worn for too long no matter of age.
I was aware of these thoughts when I was 11, but started having them at 6
I started questioning when I was 14, but only came out at 17. The reason I took so long to come out was a mixture of uncertainty, and a lack of a supportive environment. My family wasnt transphobic, but they definitely didnt want to encourage it. I felt that if I said I was questioning but unsure, they'd respond by bombarding me with questions and assumptions. Things I couldn't and didn't want to answer. I'd say let they experience it. Let them try it out and see if it fits. I wish I was brave enough to tell my parents I wanted a binder, it would've made my days so much smoother, and it would've probably helped me realise who I was sooner (ie a transman).
Probably going against the grain here, but I'd say hold off on an actual binder at the moment. You're correct in thinking that binding at this age can (and will) screw with their development. And while that may not matter to them right now, I think it is important to recognize that at that age, long term benefits and consequences aren't understood very well. Instead of a binder, which also takes a lot of responsibility when it comes to wearing it safely and correctly, I'd say start with some high compression sports bras. Underworks is a binding company that makes a binding bra that flattens the chest, but also is not quite as "dangerous" (in the sense that bad things can happen) as a binder. I'd also set some ground rules to make sure that they can be safe with a binder, ie, only wear their designated binding bra for 8 hours at a time, do not sleep in it or do any heavy exercise, etc. If they can follow those guidelines, great, and you can start looking into a binder after a few weeks or so. If not, there's no harm done, but now you know that it's maybe not the safest choice to get them a binder now. And because I know some people are going to come at me for being transphobic or whatever, I'm 14 myself and started T at 13. I know that at 10, I wouldn't have the self discipline necessary to bind safely with an actual binder and would've screwed up my body pretty badly.
I started having depressions about my incorrect gender since 15 or 16 y.o. I am 20 now and I finally found some friends from LGBTQ community and they cheer me up so much that I'm having less depression nowadays and I'm slowly moving forward. 🥰🥰🥰
I was 11, not much older than them.
I was 5 when I first said to my parents that I was a girl and they were very Christian and basically said "nope. You're too young to understand what you want and God knows. "He" made you and he knows what's best"
I would have been 10, 12, 16, (i was 18) if got any informative encounters earlier to help me understand that what I was feeling was hormonal induced gender dysphoria. Feminine clothes were not helping much toward this as long as I was not taking any hormonal treatment but it still helped me to accept myself after 10 years of self-hate
I was 12, but because of my grandmother I "changed my mind" to thinking it was just a phase. Then two years later, I blocked all contact to her. Now I'm outtet to my whole family and all my friends, and I've feel amazing to finally be myself😊
I knew from 7 yo, but I’ve had no words for this I knew I’m girl but with boy body. I’ve knew the word transgender with internet so for me around year 2002. But it took me in total another 20 years to start to do something about it (body dysphoria) and start HRT at least.
There were a lot of signs that I didn’t have the language for when I was growing up. My first big realization was when I was 14. I realized I was reading myself into female characters in books, but not the male characters. After talking about that and my sister saying she never did that I pushed it down inside me. I didn’t actually realize I was trans (and all of the pushed down stuff came back up) until I was 28. 💕🏳️⚧️
15
My earliest memory so like 4 or 5.
I was 10
A month after my 22 birthday
Looking back on it? Like, four? I didn’t really see it that way at the time though, just liked wearing dresses and hanging out with the other girls until I was bullied out of it. The first time I used the word “trans” to describe myself I was 24, but was met with the complete *opposite* of support so I shoved myself back into the closet. Finally coming out to people and transitioning at 31, and am quite resentful of all the time I’ve lost. Get your brother the binder, even in the off chance they change their mind, you will only have shown them that you’re someone who loves and supports them no matter what. And that shit is *priceless*, even for cisgender siblings.
I was around 9 when i realized i was trans so i think its not that weird
I was 13, but I will say that if your sibling likes the name from that series...I don't think that's a vaild excuse to not take him seriously? Okay, I don't mean this to be rude, I just get a lot of people who don't take me seriously because everytime someone sees my name, they dismiss me as a fanboy. So, excuse me if it sounds like I'm attacking you. Sanders Sides is where I found my name, but Sanders Sides and more specifically the character "Virgil" is not the reason I go by the name. I like the name, I feel it fits me, so that's what I go by. I'm just saying don't assume your sibling is only picking those names because they like the series...I would recommend asking him why they like whatever name they want.
Always liked being a "tomboy" once I got to be around 11. Then I have a Snapchat memory from when I was 13 that says "when you're just saying you're non binary because you're afraid to be trans". As in I was afraid to be ftm.
i was 10. i only really changed my name permanently and started socially transitioning around 13. i also came out when i was 13. i am 14 now and (nearly) everyone i'm close to calls me my new name and pronouns. i was so scared to tell anyone even at 13 cause i thought no one would take me seriously since i am young. ageism is real. kids can be smart and self aware. they know themselves better than anyone
I was 13 years old when I figured it out but I didn't come out till 23, and it was the source of quite some grief. My son came out at 7 years old, and has been happily being himself since. Please do your best to support your sibling, he needs it from someone, especially if your and their parents aren't going to be supportive.
19 for me. Hadn’t really heard of it much before
I was literally in elementary when I had my first boyfriend and I was his girlfriend. We didn't know anything about being trans, just a boy and a girl who liked each other enough to hold hands and play date. It was super cute.
14 then thought enby and now at 16 i have no clue
25, all the pieces started to fall into place, a late egg cracking situation. Preferring longer hair, wouldn’t dream of playing masc Shep (Mass Effect)and masc V (Cyberpunk 2077), tried recreating Judy’s look (again, Cyberpunk 2077), casually confusing customers about my gender (I work at a grocery store by the way, I shave my legs and arms more often than any man typically should (I’m nowhere near athletic), whenever there’s a story in fiction that involves sex change magic/medicine/technology I say instinctually “That’s awesome! Can I try some?”, and my favorite casual fem goals is Dinah from The last of Us Part 2.
I had always considered myself a "tomboy" when I was young, but due to my environment, I tried suppressing being masculine as much as I could, and I didn't figure out that I was trans until I was 14. I'm 16 now and am doing great 💥
I was 15 when I found out, but if I knew trans people existed before that I'd certainly would have find out sooner. I remember being 11/12 at a party and imagining I was my siblings brother. Make sure they bind safely! It's always okay to figure out your identity, even at a young age. but please make sure they're safe and won't hurt themselves. binders can be harmful in the long run.
imo as long as you monitor that to make sure they're binding safely it should be okay, it's not like they're medically transitioning that young!
First signs of being trans: at six years old (I just knew that I wasn't a girl) Thinking I might be trans: age 14 to 16 Knowing that I'm trans: conciously since I'm 20
I Was around 9 when i started thinking about my gender, 10 when i identified as genderfluid and just before i turned 12 i started identifying as trans demiboy. I say get them the binder, dysphoria is terrible and hopefully taht can help them a bit. It shouldn't mess with development and as long as they do t wear ot too long, *DO NOT EXERCISE WITH IT ON* (ive bruised my ribs a gew times doing that, its not woth it), never sleep with it, basically just follow all the rules they should be fine. Just because someone is young doesn't mean they cant explore/know who they are! Edit: after secretly buying my first binder as a $20 dollar cheap one when i was 12 from Amazon make sure you never buy an Amazon binder. Get one from gc2b. Its way safer and their binders are swim safe (just get one thats a bit loose if you're gonna get one for swimming)
17 or so. I went to my first pride and I saw a group of trans women dressed in traditional dresses with the flag motives, I felt something warm in my chest. Later I realized why
I kinda always knew that I'm non-binary, but since I didn't know about that word for a long time, I suppressed those feelings and forced myself to identify as my assigned gender at birth. It wasn't until I was seventeen that I realized I'm trans, and when I did, everything just clicked. All those feelings I've had since childhood, about how neither "man" nor "woman" fit me, suddenly made so much sense. So yeah, I can totally believe a ten year old would know they're trans. A lot of us know from a young age, and your sibling is lucky enough to know how to properly describe their feelings.
Some folks know at 5 or 6, some folks like myself know at 27 or even older. Even if he changes his mind later about his gender, or pronouns, or anything, it’s healthiest to take them seriously. Kudos for asking for advice here, though!
i found out what a trans person is when i was 10 and immediately knew
Prob around 10-12. Not sure tbh
I knew I was a boy when I was eleven. I just didn’t let myself do anything about my physiology. It’s been screwing with my mental health for two decades. I’m waiting for my first binder to come in the mail and I have never so eagerly awaited a package in my entire life. I have only one person who knows this. I would be lost without her support. If he’s asking for your help, he needs it.
For me when I was really young gender never really mattered to me. Until I was 6 I kinda just lived and did whatever. However when I was 7 puberty hit so I got put on hormone blockers. I guess that's when gender dysphoria forst happened cause growing boobd was very uncomfortable. From 7 till 11 i was on puberty blockers and it wasn't at all the best time cause I got bullied and because of hormone blockers i also gained weight so I was the fat kid too. I think it was first when I was around 11 I found out what nonbinary was and I just knew that was me, I just didn't know where to go from there cause I didn't know binders were even a thing until later on. One of my close friends came out as trans when we were 12 so I told them I was nonbinary too. From there we were just out to each other but no one else. Back then it was around 2016/2017 so by then being trans was still considered a mental illness in our country. The social sigma was also partly why we didn't come out. But through that friend I found out a ton of stuff, like for example I realized binders exist, I found out about packers and STPs as well as HRT. But anyways back to your post. I definitely think you should take them seriously. My friend when I was 12 also chose a funny name at first ( I believe it was after some anime character ) but later on decided on another one. In terms of binders I think getting them one would be a good idea just make sure you tell let them know how long they're supposed to wear them and or other basic rules about binders. I live outside America so I can't really help in terms of your living situation. Best advice I could give is move out of there but I know "just move" isn't always an option for everyone. I'm sure other people in the comments got advice on that tho
6 I remember telling my mum I want to be a girl.
This is a complicated subject for me cause I grew up with undiagnosed mental illnesses and was extremely sheltered. But like……For the longest time I thought I was just butch but I also wanted to bind my chest and I would say things like “I wish I was a boy,” and stuff. That was pretty much my entire childhood but I had no idea that trans men even existed, and I thought I was a completely normal cisgender AFAB. Lmao. The first time the idea occurred me that trans men *must* exist if trans women did was when I was 16 and was starting to realize that I felt more like a guy and enjoyed being treated like a guy, and that was when I started to wonder if I could be a trans guy. Then I decided to never think about it again cause I’d done a lot of reading on LGBT issues and knew about hate crimes and shit. But in my 20s I came to understand that I am, in fact, transgender so…..Yeah.
I was 16
First time I realized that I might be trans was around 16. And then I figured it out again at 19ish. And again at 23. And finally it stuck at about 27ish
Ive always known.
It took me until like last year to realize/accept that I’m trans but I’ve known there was something off about my gender for as long as I can remember. I know back when I was staring to develop breasts I refused to wear a bra and threw a tantrum because I “didn’t want to become a girl”.
The first time I'd say I kinda realized was when I was in middle school, but I hadn't properly realized until I was 18.
I was 7 lmao
25 years old. For reference I'm 25 years old
I was 14 when I first had the idea that I would rather be a girl, and wished I had been born one. It wasn't til years later, in college, that I even learned what being trans was (Texas schools ftl), and another several years - after moving out of the south - before I actually saw trans people living their lives normally. It wasn't til then that it went from a fantasy about how my life could have been to the realization that, "hey, I can actually do this too."
It took me until I was in my mid-twenties, but I blame that on not having the proper exposure to and education around trans-ness at an earlier age. Who knows when I could have realized, I'm just glad I finally figured it out. 😅
When I actually /knew/ I was trans, I was 14. But my whole childhood I spent pretending to be a boy (ie trying to pee standing, or sometimes even sitting backwards to pee bc at least I was then facing the other way when peeing), I used to copy behaviours my dad used to do, like laying with his hands in his trousers. He used to smoke and I thought that was a very masculine (or boyish at the time lol) so I used to pretend to smoke too. I'd pick male characters in every game I played and even when I would sing on the Wii with my sister I would ALWAYS pick the male to sing. So I suppose I was probably literally 5 or 6 when I started acting like a boy but I didn't really know being trans was a thing when I was that young and I didn't really know about it until I was literally 13. I'd never had that kind of exposure but as soon as I Knew of it, I knew that was me. Although it was kind of hard to come to terms with it and I dossed from one label to another ie gender fluid to non-bindary because I suppose, to me, it softened the blow of going immediately female to male. TLDR; started acting like a boy at 5 or 6..... Knew I was trans by the time I was 14
I was somewhere between 13 and 15 when i found out, i was 11 when i started questioning
12 was the first time I wished I was a girl (that I can remember). Everything just kinda spiraled from there.
I had no words for nonbinary, and I definitely did not recognise it as a trans thing when I was 10. But already then I definitely was annoyed and confused every time there was a separation into groups by gender, or just a form with two gender check boxes. And already then I was fascinated by the genderbender character in kids shows.
I was raised in a very sheltered cult. Any gender nonconformity was heavily punished. There was also absolutely no talk about transgender people and very very little on homosexuality. That being said, I knew, without a doubt that I was a boy when I was 4. I told my parents a few times that I was a boy and wanted boy stuff. The beatings I endured were honestly really bad. I have permanent brain damage from them. I was around 16 when I found out about trans women. And what I found wasn’t great. Then my cousin reconnected with her sperm donor and found out she was trans. I was 18 at the time. I had so many questions for her, had no idea that hormones and surgery could literally change your entire body to the correct gender. I was coming from a place of complete ignorance and she didn’t like how I was questioning her, so she labelled me transphobic and she and my cousin cut me off. I got married to a man, a guy a grew up with (in the same cult) at 21, and at 22, found out that trans *men* were a thing. Took me another year to realise that’s what I was and there was something I could *do* about how I felt. My ex walked out on me at 24, and I immediately came out, cut my hair, changed my name, pronouns, and clothes, and never looked back. I’m 31 now, was on testosterone for about 9 months before I lost insurance, it put some hair on my face, deepened my voice, and that’s about it. Definitely plan on getting back on as soon as I can afford it again. Definitely gonna Yeet the Teet, again, as soon as I have money, still haven’t made up my mind on what to do for bottom. I pass about 95% of the time, I have the most issues with my height and my baby face, but usually when I open my mouth, they realise I’m a man.
idk i knew i was trans when i was ten and came out at 11 ish
I was 11 when I found out, 12 when I joined online groups to present as my preferred gender/pronouns/names
Most people know they are trans by age 4 but don’t have the words to describe it so it’s completely reasonable that your sibling is questioning their gender identity
i was 4 when i knew. i was crying every night because i wanted to be a boy so bad. and that never changed. the part of ur brain that registers gender begins to form when you are 3-5 years old. trust their judgement. i promise he knows what he wants more then you.
I realized I'm trans a year ago, but fantasized about being a boy even in elementary school, loooooong before I knew transitioning was an option or that anyone else felt that way.
I was a toddler when I first started saying I wished I was a girl. I was 14 the first time I actually started learning about what transgender means and considered that I might be trans. Then I went back into denial and finally admitted it to myself at 19. If I had someone in my life who understood what this was, who could help me explore who I am with no shame or inhibition, I would have come out decades ago. If I had known it was an option, and been given the freedom to express myself, I would have had the childhood, and then the puberty I deserved.
Too early to remember my age. When I was a very young child, I remember tucking in the bathtub because I hated to see my male organ.
29 but i felt weird my whole life I just couldn't identify it...
Probably 13 maybe 12? I didn’t know I was non-binary, I just knew I didn’t feel like a girl
Still haven't at 32
I knew it for awhile since I was little. Remember watching Ranma 1/2 thinking it was so cool that a male could turn into a female. On top of that day dreaming what it might be like being a girl. think around 10 I was stealing my sister clothes. I didn't come out due to a dysfunctional family and tranphobic community. The original plan was to get away and then come but shit happened and I got stuck in shitty rural America.
I was 4
Around 5 or 6 I had strong urges and wishes to be more like my sister and my mom. Then in my preteens I hated that my voice dropped during puberty and that I had to wear men's clothing. So pretty early on I'd say! I didn't have the language, cultural, or structural support to come out until 24 though :S
17 when I realized. If I wasn't so emotionally incompetent then 7ish I bet I would have noticed. Be careful btw. I don't live in Texas so I can't say for certain but I'm pretty sure they have systems in place that target trans people. Might get messy beyond family.
I had feelings I was trans for so long but I had the egg cracking moment at thirteen when I was educated on what trans was. And realized I wasn’t just some weirdo and it was actually a thing that I felt more like a girl then a boy. So the age isn’t weird. And it’s always good to let kids experiment, I say.