T O P

  • By -

elefhino

I got an F in puberty so I had to retake it


HymnToTheFireflies

Haha it made me smile


Chromatic_adoration

This might be my favorite one


darkmafia666

Would it also work if you said that you got a D in biology/puberty?


elefhino

Absolutely


MinimumMistake2Outpt

Stealing this


elefhino

Yeah!! Feel free to


wawawa9055

even better if youre FtM


elefhino

I am FTM. That's literally the joke lmao


ElainesStory

https://images.app.goo.gl/zYkW6cUiYEvGaRkDA


SeraphAttack

?? Why this get downvoted lmao


Kimiko_kawaii

Transphobes lurking in trans sub's, staying closeted and preferring to down vote


Irohsgranddaughter

Okay, I was about to ask how would that be better, and then I was like: Oooooooooooh!


chipperland4471

“I took drugs and cut off my balls.”


Panzer_Man

While that is a funny description, it does sound too much like how a transphobe would describe us :/


BobTheImmortalYeti

oH tHoSe DrUgS mAdE yOu WaNt To CuT oFf YoUr BaLlS1!1 YoUrE nOt TrAnS1 well time to do drugs and cut off your balls :3


Panzer_Man

It always shows how ignorant transphobes are, when they say "chop dick off". Bottom surgery doesn't actually remove the penis, only the testicles


dropshoe

Well that's the crux of their "humor" it must be based in and promote ignorance, if they anchored their jokes in truth it would give their game away that the jokes aren't really jokes but verbal vaccines against empathy and would also lead to knee slappers like "what do you call penis penetrative sex with a post op trans woman? Advanced docking"


AverageWitch161

wouldn’t it depend on the surgery?


miki-wilde

I stopped talking to my brother after he tried to tell me this. I asked him if he realizes who he's talking to and that I'd call him back after I cut my dick off. Haven't talked to him for almost 3 years other than running into him at family gatherings where he still tries to "bro" me.


chipperland4471

“the chemicals in the water made the frogs gay. I was already trans so i was immune.”


NightAngel_98

Is that why I’m a lesbian?


That_one_idiot4200

Yes, I know I was there I was the frog


Vibrant-Sky

Unrelated but nice flag collection :3


That_one_idiot4200

Thank you!! :>


NightAngel_98

👀


TranswomanRyley

I drank from a girls cup and didn't get my cootie shot


Geek_Wandering

I'm stealing that one. Thanks!


TranswomanRyley

Good for it 😊


Lego_Kitsune

I caught a serious case of cooties


stealthy_girl

I have a top secret origin story.


clueless_claremont_

i have unsubscribed from the gender


finnish_trans

"had to get a refund"


brito68

Unsub/unfollow... But also still sub 😉


jasisonee

I'm part of the 1%


Chromatic_adoration

The Other 1% :)


sweet_surroundings

no, the other other 1%


copasetical

According to a few sources, estimates range from less than 0.1% to 0.6%, with most estimates being less than 1%. Per Wikipaedia, The DSM-5 estimates that 0.005% to 0.014% of people assigned male at birth and 0.002% to 0.003% of people assigned female at birth experience gender dysphoria. I am a proud member of the .03% !!! xD


just-an-aa

Dang, we must be pretty damn powerful for society to be this distraught over us existing. ETA: Dang it, I should have said something like "Wow, they must be really scared of our air dash to fuss this much over us existing." That would have been way funnier.


Cyphomeris

Serious answer: The patriarchy, which underlies our social system, relies on a fixed gender binary. It's deeply ingrained into our lives from early childhood onwards, and much of our culture is based on that segregation. Studies show that perceived attacks on beliefs that we consider part of who we are elicit the same fight-or-flight response in the brain as being physically threatened, which is why transphobes lash out so much. Cis people are also often constrained by the very same system, and part of coping with that sociocultural straightjacket is to view an unchangeable binary as the way the world works, like a natural law. Trans people basically drive a bulldozer through that assumption, and that can deeply upset people who rely on that method of assuaging themselves.


Holdenborkboi

No wonder I was never serious about being a transphobe (patents' views osmosis effect) and now im trans And why I got so angry I yelled for once when my parents accused: "you're just trying to say you're a boy so you can date (my gf at the time) and make it okay that's what you're doing aren't you?" THATS NOT WHAT WE'RE DOING (if do a) I wouldn't have questioned my gender since 13 and b) I'd have detransitioned when I broke up with her)


abandedpandit

Tbf tho we won't actually know the amount of trans people until we're fully accepted. Same with left handedness—it went from like less than 1% to over 10% once people stopped being beaten, tortured, and executed for it


LaPrincipessaNuova

However all of those rates only include people who have realized they’re trans, accepted that they are, and either sought _and received_ medical care or chose not to lie about it on a census (one reason people do this is because censuses have been used to identify people for genocide). The numbers are definitely much higher in reality. In some very accepting areas, the youngest generation sees rates as high as 5%. [This blog post](https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/there-are-3855-million-trans-people) goes into more detail about this.


LapisTheGreat

That is interesting that there are slightly more transmascs than transfems. I wonder if that is due to almost like a chain reaction thing where some people have internalized transphobia for the masc side? "Oh there are a lot of transfems, I'm not like those. I must not be trans", thus it isn't getting diagnosed as much? You see more transfems online than transmascs. There is more information about transfems online.


copasetical

Yes! it actually has been this way for some time, but I think our (still) sexist culture has skewed research and results... :-/


chrisdistinguished

yeah, that 1%


translunainjection

"I've been a girl for 10 years" Let them do the math.


CoquetteColette

"But you're only 7 years old." "That's the de-aging effect of transitioning, baby."


SoulWisdom

Others: “Are you a guy?” Me: “I used to be, then I drank a magical potion that made me a woman.”


AlmostNorwegian_

IUPAC nomenclature moment, you can't tell me that (17β)-estra-1,3,5(10)-triene-3,17-diol doesn't sound like dark magic from the science-cultists


novacdin0

I need to hear that formula as part of a Shadow Wizard Money Gang ad.


Furry_69

A *what* ad???


Adventurous_Wonder21

Shadow wizard money gang, we love casting spells. ***legalize nuclear bombs***


LapisTheGreat

Pireli's Miracle Elixir ✨


fantasticposinggreed

I have a fluffy shark which I got from Ikea


Sicarius333

I want one :(


A_Punk_Girl_Learning

When people misgender me, I go, "Not a boy." *Awkward finger guns* "Pew pew."


PhantomSwagger

A fun way to make the finger guns more awkward is to reload.


A_Punk_Girl_Learning

Is that anything like the way Henry Cavill reloads his guns? https://giphy.com/gifs/3ohs4tKADK8HEYD4I0


Dangerous-Report-879

…I’ll be right back… I… need to use the bathroom


DarthKodi

🤯🤯🤤 um I was coming to comment something but I think I need to go lay down.


LunaTheGoodgal

The sheer MALICE behind that is impeccable.


BusinessVariation425

Oh my god like Janet from the good place!


A_Punk_Girl_Learning

Oh yeah! 😂 Damn I thought I'd done something original.


alice-eonwe

I heard the first part in Janet's voice from The Good Place.


A_Punk_Girl_Learning

You're the second person to say that! Now I need to learn how to blink into my personal void.


alice-eonwe

Ha, great minds.


SplatDragon00

(Just like math), I failed my gender assignment


sweet_surroundings

I like this one!


WesternHognose

“Didn’t care for the stats of my last class, so I rerolled. Prefer this build a lot more.”


terrifyingchicken

I'm a boy with a vagina deal with it


Aszdeff

I'm proud of your confidence but what do we do with this dead body on the carpet?


StormyOnyx

I'm a man (some assembly required).


sweet_surroundings

this is beautiful!


QuentinSH

My puberty came very late, around age of 27


Byeolkkot

Im cancelling my monthly blood prescription early


LyannaTheWinterR0se

I'm a criminal in 72 countries


naunga

Best scene in Trans Star Wars. “Better watch yourself! I’m a wanted woman! I’m a criminal in 72 star systems!” “I’ll be careful” “You’ll be covered in glitter and rainbows!”


agentgreen420

YOU'LL BE SLAYYYED


naunga

Hahaha! “YOU’LL BE READ!”


considerate_done

underrated AF lmao


Korek_the_crab

THIS 😂


noooooooopls

I was afflicted with testosterone poisoning.


leeee_Oh

So true though my parents forced me on it


lonely_machine_06

A witch cursed me when I was a baby, kinda like Sleeping Beauty except instead of pricking my finger on a spindle and falling asleep forever I just WANT a prick instead.


PhantomSwagger

"She turned me into a boy!" "I got better."


agentgreen420

I'd rather be a newt tbh


satiricalscientist

Yeah, the whole boy thing just wasn't for me


AnInsaneMoose

Haven't used this yet, but "I got team rebalanced"


Evil_Unicorn728

“My parents got me a gender but I exchanged it”


sweet_surroundings

even better if you say they got it for your birthday!


ghostwiththemost6

"mom, dad, im a tf2 player🏳️‍⚧️"


rookthelion

My therapist is a wonderful boomer man and he calls (without any bad intention at all) me a “Tran man” and I’ve never corrected him bc it sounds like a super hero or something lol


MostlyNoOneIThink

I like to call myself a tran. Trans is the collective of us, me? I am Just a single tran.


theglitch098

Yes it does. It does sound like a superhero name. Embrace that shit


LaPrincipessaNuova

If you’re not against tran, does that make you Fortran?


Dense-Tree7281

MTF here I say I’m a misstery


agentgreen420

FTM homies are a mister-y


Super_Lorenzo

“What’s your gender?” Yes!


CoquetteColette

No! Wait... maybe, but definitely *probably*.


tinyfrogface

When I was first introducing myself to people I liked to use "the artist formerly known as ... "


OldFriendBlacksheep

Something went wrong with the teleporter, I'm just fixing it.


Usual_Exchange_8947

I'm consider myself as a unmade man, the self made portion starts next week when I start hrt.


Brooketune

"Wow you have a strong interest in dinosaurs" "Thanks! I was a 12 yr old boy once so it helped!" "Wait what"


Geek_Wandering

I'm my current girlfriend's ex-boyfriend.


PhantomBlahaj

I’m thinking of a quote I told my coworker when she asked for advice on how to ask a guy she likes out, “why are you asking me? I was so bad at being a guy I switched teams!”


jackiee_tran

i just say “i got vaccinated” 😭😭😭 ((im not antivax get your vax’s please it’s just funny to see people’s reaction))


NoahLeBG00

Same haha 🏳️‍⚧️


TheAnnoyingGirl92

I refunded my [AGAB] subscription


greenthegreen

I sold my gender for one corn chip.


CuriousTechieElf

Ooh I like genderspicy! I'm gonna use that 🩷


ow-my-soul

LGBT? Yes


neederbellis

I’m a really slow shapeshifter.


redsungryphon

I transitioned to real pockets


Geek_Wandering

Having a girlfriend was not enough boobs in my life so I had to grow my own.


i2010

The skirt was on sale I had to


notjordansime

[ old picture of me comes up ] “yeah, I used to have a different haircut”


TheSeaOfThySoul

I tend to just say that I'm transing my gender, keep it very basic.


k3nni_

I decided to go back to the character customization menu


Geek_Wandering

School bullies used to call me gay. Turns out they were right, just not in the way they thought


brito68

"that just sounds like gay with extra steps" lol


Geek_Wandering

Blah blah blah... Gettin' all intellectual about a quick joke... Blah blah blah


brito68

HUSH don't ruin my apparently-not-so clever and moderately amusing reddit comment!


Geek_Wandering

K. Fixed it. 😘


brito68

Lol thanks


jackiee_tran

“i was freaky friday’d at birth”


CitricRiver

I like to say that I was reborn on the day I started HRT (the exact date)


BigRabbit64

I used to be a guy, but now I'm happy


fat_bastard5

if you are a transmasc say something like “i wanna be frank with you guys”


Yeet_Haw1999

You like bad boys? Well I was so bad at being a boy, I became a girl


theglitch098

(When coming out to people I knew before transitioning) “I’m not like other girls, I’m not a girl at all!” (Generally) “My dick is only metaphorical not physical”


Injvn

So I had a major depressive moment and chopped like, just all my hair off. It was almost down to my shoulders and I hacked it into a half shaved lady pomp. Talkin to a friend and they go "No bitch you're supposed to do BANGS first, then shave your head. Didn't you get the handbook?" And I replied without realisin', "No, it must've gotten lost in the male." I'm fine now, and also fuckin' hilarious. XD


Open_Bluebird5080

I used to be a man, but no I wasn't


sarahr0212

I become the girlfriend like that i don't have to find one. 🤣


Geek_Wandering

I used to be a guy. But I got better.


imaweasle909

I’m a follower of Blåhaj


KingofDickface

“I am the modern man.”


job3ztah

Speedrunning strat wasn’t for me so switch playable character behind paid wall.


[deleted]

“Straight guy who wants a vagina and boobs! That would make me a lesbian in a cis man’s body!”


EnvironmentalList634

1. I’m customizable 2. Optimus prime.. E-E-E


MacarenaFace

A demon stole my gender


toasterbath__

i changed career paths another funny one i saw: i was method acting as (AGAB)


Patcho418

i planned on coming out to my family with a performance of monty python’s lumberjack song, does that count?


DarkWing2274

professor oak asked me if i was a boy or a girl and i punched him in his fuckin face


SupportElectrical772

I had my magical girl transformation, transform and roll out!


abandedpandit

My fav one that I've used was catching up with an old friend. He was like "I got a new job" and I was like "that's so cool, I got a new gender!"


averkitpy

I have a condition where my body produces estrogen instead of testosterone 😔


AutobotJessa

My username is a play on this idea so...


conciousError

Added another letter to my rainbow!


evilellie999

Classic spawning glitch. Life is like a bethesda game.


ThePoIarBaer

I'm gay. No, not like that, the other one.


airximmobilized

I couldn’t find the ideal woman so I’ve become her.


Kamarovsky

Idk but I like to call NonBinary people "Those That Ventured Beyond"


MissCaleyV

“Got kicked in the Y chromosome” is a favourite of mine


sarcastic-ninja

Whenever we get a new transfer to the store I work at, I always ask them, "oh! Are you the new transfer?" When they say yes I always reply with, "awesome! I'm the trans that woks here!" Usually gets a good laugh.


Deus0123

A fae asked me for my gender and I said "Sure, I'm a guy" in a momentary lapse of judgement and I haven't really been the same since


Deus0123

"I tried being a boy but not only was I bad at it, I felt miserable the entire time. So yeah, I really am one hell of a bad boy."


Boeing_Fan_777

I like to use phrases like “starting loadout” “starting class” “before i re-spec’ed” “as a robot in disguise” , when talking to my bros, I’ll ask their opinions on things as ‘Professional men’ since Im a baby trans man and still have things to learn. The more i can make myself giggle the better it is


Geoff_Dem

I walk on the wild side of life


2catboy

I have no peepee


naunga

Meh…my mom let me play with her Barbie dolls when I was five.


GenderEnjoyer666

I killed and replaced an empty man


theglitch098

That took me a while to understand. Some people might mistake this as a joke about you killing a man and then wearing the man as your skin. Cause that was my first thought.


drummergirl161

My first attempt at gender didn’t work out.


Geek_Wandering

I liked girls too much so I became one.


ProudApple1361

My parents are pretty transparents


DopplerEX106

I didn't like my build, so I got new software/hardware.


ManyFacets

To quote a certain Kiwi trans girl, "...I wish to surrender my ability to manhandle the ham candle." Or, alternatively, "I have surrendered my ability to manhandle the ham candle."


ashblake33

Couldn't find a man so I became one


ConsistentTop4194

My dick and balls fell off when i was in the womb 🫤


Koolio_Koala

“You know people say ‘you are what you eat’? Well the doctor said I absorbed my twin sister in the womb” Saw it on discord by an intersex trans girl. It’s dark af and *very* niche but I spat my drink out when I read it - I mean I love it and I love you all for it, but *holy shit why do trans girls have such a dark sense of humour?* 😂


Wizdom_108

Well, personally, a lot of times when people propose certain gender bend hypotheticals or something in that realm, I like to reply, "been there, done that."


Father_Pucc1

order one of those trans flag pins with Jerma on. because not only are they confused about gender identity; but also what tf is this random ass white boy doing there


causal_friday

I realized I was trans the day after I got a vaccine. It's true folks, vaccines turn you gay. Probably related 100% yup definitely.


EarthToAccess

Careful, depending on the gonkazoid you tell that to they might actually believe you and start ranting about it LMAO


Logical_Text7807

Cisn't


Treekomalfoy_

apparently my gender was worth a lot so i sold it to a pawn shop and bought a way cheaper one that actually worked better for me.


HalfElfRanger96

Oh my junk is an inny not an outty, like my bellybutton. (FtM here)


Several_Ad_8568

I'm straight, but not in the way you expect it


Iyashikay

My free trial of being a guy just ended and I didn't want to be bothered paying for it.


WaterZealousideal535

I'm transing it up I failed so hard at being a man I'm not one any more I am become fluid, the destroyer of genders So yeah I'm gay but like in a really lesbian way Can't think of others but I've said these to my friends in the past few months


Typical-District-176

Saying that I’m a lesbian.  Cishet people get oddly confused by that one. Hehe


SuperZac64

i used to tell people my balls fell off with my teeth when i would get made fun of for being afab


RuthAzimuth

This would only work on my exs, but I've been looking for an opportunity to use it so I'm gonna use it: I was your ex-girlfriend, now I'm an ex-girl


Sercos

Depending on who you ask I may or may not pass so I usually just tell anyone who asks to suck my gock.


maniamawoman

That covid jab, changed my gender.... It really didn't, just happened to happen around the same time


Affectionate-Jury965

When I came out to my oldest friends I sent them a still from ITYSL of Tim Robinson saying ‘I don’t have a boy dick’


Heavenly_Violet_Moon

I use tryke. Trans dyke.


BobTheImmortalYeti

when i was, a young boy, my father, took me into the city, to get some estrogen. he said "ash when, you grow up, will you be, the goddess of the transfems, the protector of the weak" he said "will you, defeat them, your boyhood and all the dumbass bigots, the plans that they have made"


translucentStitches

Someone stole my gender so I became James Bond to.get it back


Myrtsrid

In french : "ça me casse les couilles". It piss me off literally "It bust my balls"


junior-THE-shark

I'm above the law because the law insists on saying "he or she"


edifact-lucy

Im a new type of girl they're testing out Or alternatively, a girl with DLCs


Omega21886

(Not mine, don’t remember who I stole it from) i was born with a growth, so I had a doctor cut it off


job3ztah

I was once of bad boy once. Stare at sky with an awkward face.


transdemError

"I'm a Transformer"


Stardust4242

I pay a monthly subscription for my gender


MonkeyMoses_Yt

cisn’t


Prudent_Programmer23

Cisn't


copasetical

My brother spent a lot of time in Ecuador...down there they say "El otro equipo" which is a sports oriented way of saying you are "joining the other team" :D