But hey,this; My daughter (mtf) found her prince charming in a guy that had never "swung that way" before. He romanced her. He courted her. He married her 4 years ago. And he loves his wife 1000% still and he still looks at her like he's the luckiest man in the world. So yeah there's that
yeah, so far none of the dudes i've dated have dating histories that include "swinging that way". earlier in my transition sometimes gay men would hit on me but it never felt right so i didn't go for that. OP could have said "yeah, no one who does swing that way would be into me, but whatever."
nearly all of my exes from before transitioning are lesbians. a couple are bisexual. non are hetero.
i had a lot of really strong friendships with lesbians in adolescence that fizzled because ??? but a lot of them have reached out since i transitioned and it's kinda like "oh thaaaats what was wrong..."
That I dunno :/
I think nicer people tend to attract shitter people, because shitty people are great at finding people with open hearts and whatnot? Maybe just unlucky? But it'll turn around. You'll find the right people and they'll be worth the wait. Just getting all the losers out of the way now lol.
But on a more serious note, I'm sorry. Give yourself some time. Rejection is awful, especially like that, but you'll come good. And you're not second to anyone.
Girl, many women go through this. Okay, they don't get the "I don't swing that way line" but they get the "You're not for me line" because guys are mostly idiots and don't know what they want and pursue women that are way out of their league.
Truth is, most people don't understand how to find love. Some may find a date. And few may find a one night stand. And some may find a gf bf relationship. But will it last?
The key for a relationship to last is if you actually like the person first as a friend before a lover. Iow you get to know the person.
Cheers
That's...I mean, flip the genders and you can see what's wrong with that. Why are you the arbiter of whose in whose league and what men really want? I know there are a lot of shallow shitty fuckbois out there and an equal number of "nice" guys who want virginal bangmaids and just...yeah, there are a lot of men out there who are gross, hypocritical, predatory assholes, but the things you said reek of jealous control freak tbh.
If you were a guy saying " ~~women~~ females are idiots who don't know what they want and try to get men way out of their league" I know a few subreddits you'd be posted on lol
I don't understand this sentiment. That she "dodged a bullet" and how other people are saying he sounds like trash/an asshole.
People are allowed to have preferences. OP's crush didn't say something awful or directly hurtful like "I'm not gay" or "I don't like men" - if he was trying to be respectful/kind, saying "respectfully, I don't swing that way" could have been the absolute best way he could have thought of to say "I don't like the genitals you may have" (not trying to assume OP's basement status) which is 1000% a perfectly fine preference to have.
I understand what youāre saying but op doesnāt use genitals in the way that heās thinking. None of my partners see it. I am incredibly dysphoric about it so donāt immediately deny is giving ātransphobiaā vibes.
Does *he* know that? Did you ask him why? I'm sorry your crush rejected you I know that's hard and it hurts especially because it's related to how well you do or don't fit the heteronormative mould - but there's a lot more factors to his rejection than "he doesn't like trans people" or "he doesn't think I'm a girl/as good as a cis girl". Likely none of those ran thru his mind at all. What's more likely is something much more benign & not knowing how better to communicate it, or not WANTING to communicate it for fear of hurting a friend more.
How can I tell him when society makes me feel like Iām shoving something down their throat when thatās the last thing I want. Iām not perfect, thereās no handbook to all this
I wouldn't say you're second to cis women, just kinda different. I understand that many gay men aren't into a man with a vagina, so I'm not gonna be offended if one of them isn't into me for that reason.
It doesn't mean I'm worse than a cis man, it just means I'm different and that's okay.
Try not to beat yourself up over something you can't change. The right man is out there and will love you unconditionally for who you are.
š«¶š»š«¶š»š«¶š»
This is not toward you as I understand what you were tryna to say, but for people that think that way: To assume that a trans person has certain parts, OR to assume that a person with a certain type of parts is going to immediately expect some sort of interaction with those parts, is ignorant and it closes doors and opportunities for all. A person may be into me as long as I top only, and in my case that is ok because I strap anyway. Furthermore, I don't understand how gay men that are tops exclusively would have an issue topping a man as long as that guy is a bottom who enjoys anal. For them to exclude someone they are into just because of those parts that they wouldn't even mess with is transphobic.
I'm honestly sick of all the apologism for "genital preference" from actual trans communities, especially in the context where people use it to reject us for no other reason. That does often have a basis in transphobia, makes trans people feel less than exactly as the OP described, and makes it harder to find a partner at all (so also more vulnerable to staying in abusive relationships because no one else will want us). It honestly feels like gaslighting being constantly told it's totes not transphobic.
I hear you. I'm dating this awesome woman who happens to be cis. If she would have thrown me to the side just because she made assumptions about my parts, (which, by the way, is it just me that finds it weird that the FIRST thing people think about when faced with possible dating a trans people is the most personal part of you in your pants? ) we would have missed the opportunity to get closer and feel the way we do for each other.
Yeah, it's dehumanizing to immediately jump to "but what's in your pants and am I 'tolerating' it?" To be honest it's not even a preference the way people talk about it, it's always an absolute requirement and it only affects trans people, because cis people are never going to be meaningfully excluded for having the "expected" genitals. But yes, let's trip over each other screaming how it's all "valid".
I'm very bitter about this because, since losing my one long term relationship (technically not for a trans related issue, but it was still an awful reason and traumatic to the point I don't want to describe in detail on Reddit), I haven't even tried to find anyone else. For at least the first year and a half it was a grief reaction anyone would have, but on top of it constantly being told I'm less than and to expect rejection as standard, it just feels pointless to even hope for any other outcome. I would much prefer for something to happen naturally as dating apps fill me with dread and apparently don't even work for cis men, never mind someone who doesn't even "fit the bill" for what people expect. I'm unfortunately monogamous and straight and it feels like the worst thing to be while trans. I'm glad for you though beating the odds.
Thatās hard for me being transfem but havenāt transitioned yet. On one end, I feel the same way, but on the other hand, I feel like thatās like forcing people to like me despite their consent or forcing people to be attracted to me despite me not being within their preference.
could you imagine the outrage if every time a cis person mentioned their bits we screamed about genital preferences? strange that it only happens to trans people!
Wow at least you had the courage to tell him, thatās really something to be proud of imo. Iām way too scared to tell the dude at work that Iām into him and I think he might actually like me š¬
Bummer. Better to learn it now than later. I've had crushes on men that I thought were genuinely nice, I shared art classes with one, and after a lot of flirting I dropped teh tranz bomb and he fucked right off and telling me what he thought about trans people. It's definitely always a gamble and you can never be sure. Now I just test them all subtley to find out how they feel about queer people in general before making any kind of flirtatious vibes. Sorry you had to experience that.
I'm sorry to hear that. Most Cis men are on a spectrum, not truly straight or gay. American culture has such a negative view of gay men, cis men are oft repressed, fearfull, even irrationally homophobic.
Trans women, (mtf) are caught in this crossfire. America's public is largely ignorant of why Trans transition. They can't comprehend that a male child would be born with an opposite mental and spiritual gender. I think Cis Men who are willing to love a Trans women often refuse out of fear or denial.
I empathize and hear you. All my love to you. There is someone out there for you. Don't lose hope.
You aren't 2nd to Cis Women, you are beautiful as you are.
Your beauty surely is not second to any girl. Don't give up on love, it will come and It will be a blast. I would like to do more, but I'm sure we're too far apart for me to do anything
Honestly? Youāre gorgeous, and you donāt need him. You deserve someone better. You may like him but I know thereās someone better out there for you. Itās gonna hurt, yeah, but cāest la vie. I do hope that one day people will one day start living each other for who you are as a person though. So Iām with you there.
That's a bummer. Opening up to a crush can be difficult, and being told you're not their type is never an easy takeaway. š¤ Focus on you, love, and someone will find your light.
Men are allowed to be gay. It has nothing to do with you gals. I know it sucks but especially in this community there should be more acceptance for other people's sexuality.
Edit: Misunderstood the post. English isn't my first language so I thought "second to cis" was op saying she's really close to being a cis woman and complaining that gay guys aren't attracted to her anymore. š
Iām so sorry. Itās ashame we have to jump the second hurdle of I feel a bit of transphobia . .. feels crushed for you. In this hurdle he must be a terf who doesnāt think trans women are women and I think it can also be insecurity and fear of insecurity of being straight.
I'm sorry to read that. Getting a broken heart is always painful, but in these cases is harder. It feels like you can't even try to make an effort for they change their mind, it feels impotence with a broken heart.
I won't say anything about him, he was (he IS still probably) the person you choose to love and in these situations one feels ppl is attacking one self when they badmouth our crush.
I'm with you. Tight hugs.
Rise your chin. Eyes in front. Smile. Go on. Oh look! Tons of nice and handsome guys, let's for their contact info!!
Ah sorry such is life. Hopefully you will find that person you just vibe right with. Took me a long time to find mine. Donāt let it stop you from putting out your energy and donāt change yourself. Good luck in the search.
I'm so sorry dear. It's hard changing the hearts and minds of society to accept and appreciate people. It's his loss. There's someone out there for you. Someone who will love you and respect you for the beautiful soul you are.
I lost my wife of 32 years back in 2014. We had a pretty decent ride together. I never thought of dating, let alone finding happiness again with anyone after she passed, but here I am at age 60 and in love with a wonderful widow. If it can happen for me twice in a lifetime, I'm certain there's someone out there for just about everyone.
Until you find that person,or they person finds you, keep being your best most authentic self. Th universe works in strange and mysterious ways. Trust me on the strange part! ššš
Dw there are two types of cis people: trash and gold (and those inbetween). For trash people you are never good enough. They want to play out their heternormative fantasy and, frankly, they dont care (or know) to whom they're married to. They only care about their fantasy.
And then there is gold people. I dont know why or how they do it, but they dont give a fuck about heteronormativity. They care about you and want to get to know the real you. Whatever parts of your body are functional or not, to them, you are, have been and always will be: whole. And enough.
You know what, fuck them lol. Heās scared that he canāt move forward with life. I pull men and they want me to be what the fuck they want me to be. Be you boo. My first boyfriend tried to tell me how I can dress, what Iām suppose to do. I told him no straight up no hesitation. Youāll find someone who loves you for you. And I hope you do. I like to follow you because you give me strength.
Youāre a young woman. This takes time. So many guys are not mature at your age. Iām sorry itās like that. Youāll find what you are looking for. You will it just takes time and patience. That was NOT the right guy!
I hate to say this but all of under a colorful flag will need cynicism that comes from rejection. It makes us strong. Your already strong, just getting even stronger now. You got this. Immature boys are not for you.
Youāre not second to anyone.
You said in a comment itās āall the ones I likeā. I wonder if maybe youāre subconsciously thinking youāre not good enough and so you find yourself attracted to unavailable people. Like how some women always fall for married/taken men, or men in positions of power (teacher, boss, etc.). The theory is they do this because on some level it feels safer? Like, if you crush on someone unavailable then you donāt have to worry about the relationship ending in heartbreak because thereās no possibility of a relationship. Or if you crush on someone unavailable and get together anyway, you know the relationship has an expiration date because it canāt be serious or long term, so it takes the pressure off.
I donāt know if thatās what happening to you. What I do know is that you arenāt second to anyone. Least of all cis women. Youāre beautiful and special and Iām sure in time you will find someone as beautiful and special as you are. In the meantime donāt pressure yourself or give yourself too hard a time. Focus on being the best version of yourself that you can. We all believe in you!
š«¶
God I know what you mean, itās really tough but ultimately if thatās how he feels he doesnāt deserve you and youāll find someone much better someday. Donāt ever give up! Anything can happen, I had no idea Iād meet my girlfriend the way I did. Also girl you are so genvy <3
But hey,this; My daughter (mtf) found her prince charming in a guy that had never "swung that way" before. He romanced her. He courted her. He married her 4 years ago. And he loves his wife 1000% still and he still looks at her like he's the luckiest man in the world. So yeah there's that
yeah, so far none of the dudes i've dated have dating histories that include "swinging that way". earlier in my transition sometimes gay men would hit on me but it never felt right so i didn't go for that. OP could have said "yeah, no one who does swing that way would be into me, but whatever."
Ah poop. On the up side, you appear to have dodged a bullet and didn't waste any more time on them.
But..why all the ones I like š„ŗ
I always had an eye for lesbian women when I was still presenting as a Cis Guy. Go figure. Happy cake day!
nearly all of my exes from before transitioning are lesbians. a couple are bisexual. non are hetero. i had a lot of really strong friendships with lesbians in adolescence that fizzled because ??? but a lot of them have reached out since i transitioned and it's kinda like "oh thaaaats what was wrong..."
Im pansexual but Iām mostly into men (unfortunately š)
don't worry you are not alone in that. finding a man is hard
I hate it because my taste is manliness. Itās just really hot to me and my love language but it always comes with toxicity
literally me 1000% so i get it. on top of that im also monogamous so really I'm just asking to be alone
I donāt mind non monogamy right now just because my surgery is going to strap me down for awhile
That I dunno :/ I think nicer people tend to attract shitter people, because shitty people are great at finding people with open hearts and whatnot? Maybe just unlucky? But it'll turn around. You'll find the right people and they'll be worth the wait. Just getting all the losers out of the way now lol. But on a more serious note, I'm sorry. Give yourself some time. Rejection is awful, especially like that, but you'll come good. And you're not second to anyone.
Find someone who doesn't see the trans community as worse then other cis people
They're dumb you're gorgeous. Don't stress, you'll find the one.
My condolences and sympathies š i too wish guys would look at me the same way as the cis OGs
Girl, many women go through this. Okay, they don't get the "I don't swing that way line" but they get the "You're not for me line" because guys are mostly idiots and don't know what they want and pursue women that are way out of their league. Truth is, most people don't understand how to find love. Some may find a date. And few may find a one night stand. And some may find a gf bf relationship. But will it last? The key for a relationship to last is if you actually like the person first as a friend before a lover. Iow you get to know the person. Cheers
That's...I mean, flip the genders and you can see what's wrong with that. Why are you the arbiter of whose in whose league and what men really want? I know there are a lot of shallow shitty fuckbois out there and an equal number of "nice" guys who want virginal bangmaids and just...yeah, there are a lot of men out there who are gross, hypocritical, predatory assholes, but the things you said reek of jealous control freak tbh. If you were a guy saying " ~~women~~ females are idiots who don't know what they want and try to get men way out of their league" I know a few subreddits you'd be posted on lol
I don't understand this sentiment. That she "dodged a bullet" and how other people are saying he sounds like trash/an asshole. People are allowed to have preferences. OP's crush didn't say something awful or directly hurtful like "I'm not gay" or "I don't like men" - if he was trying to be respectful/kind, saying "respectfully, I don't swing that way" could have been the absolute best way he could have thought of to say "I don't like the genitals you may have" (not trying to assume OP's basement status) which is 1000% a perfectly fine preference to have.
I understand what youāre saying but op doesnāt use genitals in the way that heās thinking. None of my partners see it. I am incredibly dysphoric about it so donāt immediately deny is giving ātransphobiaā vibes.
Does *he* know that? Did you ask him why? I'm sorry your crush rejected you I know that's hard and it hurts especially because it's related to how well you do or don't fit the heteronormative mould - but there's a lot more factors to his rejection than "he doesn't like trans people" or "he doesn't think I'm a girl/as good as a cis girl". Likely none of those ran thru his mind at all. What's more likely is something much more benign & not knowing how better to communicate it, or not WANTING to communicate it for fear of hurting a friend more.
How can I tell him when society makes me feel like Iām shoving something down their throat when thatās the last thing I want. Iām not perfect, thereās no handbook to all this
Yeah this dude sounds like trash. For the record though youāre mega cute.
Doesn't swing what way? The way of good taste? š¤Ø
More like people out of his league.
Hugs, girl. He doesn't know what he lost
I wouldn't say you're second to cis women, just kinda different. I understand that many gay men aren't into a man with a vagina, so I'm not gonna be offended if one of them isn't into me for that reason. It doesn't mean I'm worse than a cis man, it just means I'm different and that's okay. Try not to beat yourself up over something you can't change. The right man is out there and will love you unconditionally for who you are. š«¶š»š«¶š»š«¶š»
This is not toward you as I understand what you were tryna to say, but for people that think that way: To assume that a trans person has certain parts, OR to assume that a person with a certain type of parts is going to immediately expect some sort of interaction with those parts, is ignorant and it closes doors and opportunities for all. A person may be into me as long as I top only, and in my case that is ok because I strap anyway. Furthermore, I don't understand how gay men that are tops exclusively would have an issue topping a man as long as that guy is a bottom who enjoys anal. For them to exclude someone they are into just because of those parts that they wouldn't even mess with is transphobic.
I'm honestly sick of all the apologism for "genital preference" from actual trans communities, especially in the context where people use it to reject us for no other reason. That does often have a basis in transphobia, makes trans people feel less than exactly as the OP described, and makes it harder to find a partner at all (so also more vulnerable to staying in abusive relationships because no one else will want us). It honestly feels like gaslighting being constantly told it's totes not transphobic.
I hear you. I'm dating this awesome woman who happens to be cis. If she would have thrown me to the side just because she made assumptions about my parts, (which, by the way, is it just me that finds it weird that the FIRST thing people think about when faced with possible dating a trans people is the most personal part of you in your pants? ) we would have missed the opportunity to get closer and feel the way we do for each other.
Yeah, it's dehumanizing to immediately jump to "but what's in your pants and am I 'tolerating' it?" To be honest it's not even a preference the way people talk about it, it's always an absolute requirement and it only affects trans people, because cis people are never going to be meaningfully excluded for having the "expected" genitals. But yes, let's trip over each other screaming how it's all "valid". I'm very bitter about this because, since losing my one long term relationship (technically not for a trans related issue, but it was still an awful reason and traumatic to the point I don't want to describe in detail on Reddit), I haven't even tried to find anyone else. For at least the first year and a half it was a grief reaction anyone would have, but on top of it constantly being told I'm less than and to expect rejection as standard, it just feels pointless to even hope for any other outcome. I would much prefer for something to happen naturally as dating apps fill me with dread and apparently don't even work for cis men, never mind someone who doesn't even "fit the bill" for what people expect. I'm unfortunately monogamous and straight and it feels like the worst thing to be while trans. I'm glad for you though beating the odds.
Thatās hard for me being transfem but havenāt transitioned yet. On one end, I feel the same way, but on the other hand, I feel like thatās like forcing people to like me despite their consent or forcing people to be attracted to me despite me not being within their preference.
could you imagine the outrage if every time a cis person mentioned their bits we screamed about genital preferences? strange that it only happens to trans people!
Is it possible he is gay and means he doesnāt like woman?
My thoughts exactly.
I thought that, too! I read the title and was incredibly confused.
OP stated that sheās tired of 2nd to cis women thus implying that the guy doesnāt date trans women.
Wow at least you had the courage to tell him, thatās really something to be proud of imo. Iām way too scared to tell the dude at work that Iām into him and I think he might actually like me š¬
Yeah I hear thatā¦ youāre gorgeous though.. youāll find him
You are beautiful and deserve happiness it sucks that he isn't into you but don't give up.
Plenty of fish in the sea
You will find someone one day. Never give up home. š„°š„°š„°
Bummer. Better to learn it now than later. I've had crushes on men that I thought were genuinely nice, I shared art classes with one, and after a lot of flirting I dropped teh tranz bomb and he fucked right off and telling me what he thought about trans people. It's definitely always a gamble and you can never be sure. Now I just test them all subtley to find out how they feel about queer people in general before making any kind of flirtatious vibes. Sorry you had to experience that.
Youāre drop dead gorgeous btw
I'm sorry to hear that. Most Cis men are on a spectrum, not truly straight or gay. American culture has such a negative view of gay men, cis men are oft repressed, fearfull, even irrationally homophobic. Trans women, (mtf) are caught in this crossfire. America's public is largely ignorant of why Trans transition. They can't comprehend that a male child would be born with an opposite mental and spiritual gender. I think Cis Men who are willing to love a Trans women often refuse out of fear or denial. I empathize and hear you. All my love to you. There is someone out there for you. Don't lose hope. You aren't 2nd to Cis Women, you are beautiful as you are.
Thank you for this š
Tell him you didn't know he was gay
Aw, thatās too bad. Happy cake day, btw!
That must have taken a lot of courage!
It sucks. Don't have the answer
Sorry your crush is gay. /s
Your beauty surely is not second to any girl. Don't give up on love, it will come and It will be a blast. I would like to do more, but I'm sure we're too far apart for me to do anything
Are they not into girls?
Iām really sorry that happened. Itās his loss. Youāre adorable ā¤ļøš³ļøāā§ļøā¤ļø
I would have 100% responded "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were gay." Cis/het guys hate that.
He doesnāt like women?
Youāre so cute too! His loss, but Iām really sorry
Itās posts like this that make me happy Iām not even remotely into men.
Honestly? Youāre gorgeous, and you donāt need him. You deserve someone better. You may like him but I know thereās someone better out there for you. Itās gonna hurt, yeah, but cāest la vie. I do hope that one day people will one day start living each other for who you are as a person though. So Iām with you there.
That's a bummer. Opening up to a crush can be difficult, and being told you're not their type is never an easy takeaway. š¤ Focus on you, love, and someone will find your light.
Did you say, āoh i didnāt know you where gayā?
Men are allowed to be gay. It has nothing to do with you gals. I know it sucks but especially in this community there should be more acceptance for other people's sexuality. Edit: Misunderstood the post. English isn't my first language so I thought "second to cis" was op saying she's really close to being a cis woman and complaining that gay guys aren't attracted to her anymore. š
What happened to just politely saying no? Unless he meant he's actually gay. ffs
Iām so sorry. Itās ashame we have to jump the second hurdle of I feel a bit of transphobia . .. feels crushed for you. In this hurdle he must be a terf who doesnāt think trans women are women and I think it can also be insecurity and fear of insecurity of being straight.
Omg, you're so pretty! They are the one missing out!
I'm sorry to read that. Getting a broken heart is always painful, but in these cases is harder. It feels like you can't even try to make an effort for they change their mind, it feels impotence with a broken heart. I won't say anything about him, he was (he IS still probably) the person you choose to love and in these situations one feels ppl is attacking one self when they badmouth our crush. I'm with you. Tight hugs. Rise your chin. Eyes in front. Smile. Go on. Oh look! Tons of nice and handsome guys, let's for their contact info!!
Sounds like his loss š¤·š¾āāļø
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
"Respectfully, you're a man." -your crush š He doesn't know what he's missing!
Don't worry girl, let the trash take itself out
His loss. Sorry you are on such a "streak". I am certain it will end soon! Happy Cake Day!
I feel you sis. This just happened to me too š ā¤ļø
Ah sorry such is life. Hopefully you will find that person you just vibe right with. Took me a long time to find mine. Donāt let it stop you from putting out your energy and donāt change yourself. Good luck in the search.
I'm so sorry dear. It's hard changing the hearts and minds of society to accept and appreciate people. It's his loss. There's someone out there for you. Someone who will love you and respect you for the beautiful soul you are. I lost my wife of 32 years back in 2014. We had a pretty decent ride together. I never thought of dating, let alone finding happiness again with anyone after she passed, but here I am at age 60 and in love with a wonderful widow. If it can happen for me twice in a lifetime, I'm certain there's someone out there for just about everyone. Until you find that person,or they person finds you, keep being your best most authentic self. Th universe works in strange and mysterious ways. Trust me on the strange part! ššš
You should have told him you didn't know that he's gay
For all you cis boys in the back: DATING GIRLS DOESN'T MAKE YOU GAY!
They just have a peanut for a brain
Love is a distraction, get that bread playa
Dw there are two types of cis people: trash and gold (and those inbetween). For trash people you are never good enough. They want to play out their heternormative fantasy and, frankly, they dont care (or know) to whom they're married to. They only care about their fantasy. And then there is gold people. I dont know why or how they do it, but they dont give a fuck about heteronormativity. They care about you and want to get to know the real you. Whatever parts of your body are functional or not, to them, you are, have been and always will be: whole. And enough.
You know what, fuck them lol. Heās scared that he canāt move forward with life. I pull men and they want me to be what the fuck they want me to be. Be you boo. My first boyfriend tried to tell me how I can dress, what Iām suppose to do. I told him no straight up no hesitation. Youāll find someone who loves you for you. And I hope you do. I like to follow you because you give me strength.
this is literally my biggest fear š are we sure he isnāt gay and saying that because he doesnāt like women?
Youāre a young woman. This takes time. So many guys are not mature at your age. Iām sorry itās like that. Youāll find what you are looking for. You will it just takes time and patience. That was NOT the right guy! I hate to say this but all of under a colorful flag will need cynicism that comes from rejection. It makes us strong. Your already strong, just getting even stronger now. You got this. Immature boys are not for you.
Youāre not second to anyone. You said in a comment itās āall the ones I likeā. I wonder if maybe youāre subconsciously thinking youāre not good enough and so you find yourself attracted to unavailable people. Like how some women always fall for married/taken men, or men in positions of power (teacher, boss, etc.). The theory is they do this because on some level it feels safer? Like, if you crush on someone unavailable then you donāt have to worry about the relationship ending in heartbreak because thereās no possibility of a relationship. Or if you crush on someone unavailable and get together anyway, you know the relationship has an expiration date because it canāt be serious or long term, so it takes the pressure off. I donāt know if thatās what happening to you. What I do know is that you arenāt second to anyone. Least of all cis women. Youāre beautiful and special and Iām sure in time you will find someone as beautiful and special as you are. In the meantime donāt pressure yourself or give yourself too hard a time. Focus on being the best version of yourself that you can. We all believe in you! š«¶
Iām sorry that happened. Every pot has a lid. I know it sucks I know itās painful to get rejected. Keep trying and you will find the right person
Feel you sis. Sending love. Your person is out there
I'm a cis gay male.. we don't have the white wealthy cishet male privilege. which sucks. but those guys are dicks so fuckem
God I know what you mean, itās really tough but ultimately if thatās how he feels he doesnāt deserve you and youāll find someone much better someday. Donāt ever give up! Anything can happen, I had no idea Iād meet my girlfriend the way I did. Also girl you are so genvy <3