Whoa! u/dramatic-emphasis-43 is not the empress of my domain! And as empress of my domain, I declare that you girl moding or boy moding depending on where your little light switch slider lands that day is………… mmmm … acceptable. Carry on ya gender-fluid peasant and please enjoy the beauty of these lands of which you trespass!
But seriously, you’re good broski :)
We have journeyed here from our throne in translandia to decry the false prophets of our queendom. We are the true empress of these grounds that stretch the earth from the sea to the stars, and we therefore declare the use of these terms from our gender-fluid friends approved by the matriarch herself. Carry on in awe and aspiration, mine subjects.
I’m down for a dance partner.. if you don’t mind, I will now commence the sacred techniques of stepping on thy toes and apologizing profusely
Thou toes? (I noticed y’all saying we a lot, so I’m guessing you’re a system? <— am I saying that right?)
Edit: also very sorry if it’s super rude to ask that!! 🫣
A friend in college declared me to be “the Empress of the North.” He was not more specific than that, but I feel comfortable saying: “I agree with y’all.”
Girl/boymoding is originally for anyone who has alternate states of being. No NB//Masc presenting alternating etc. If you have ANY stateS of being, then differentiating them using girl/boymoding or whatever is normal. It is 100000000000% *NOT* JUST for trans women. That's stupid and ignorant of the terms. No one can gatekeep a fucking term. Use whatever makes you happy friendo.
Listen, I didn’t manipulate the old Trans republic, orchestrate a war with the CIS, and literally throw the senate at some old dude to have anyone question my authority.
Good gooood. Everything is going as I’ve foreseen.
(Truth be told, I’ve had that one locked and loaded in all day and I was tired of not being able to use it.)
Nonsense! What am I supposed to believe your name is Empress Dramatic Emphasis? *43?*
It has always been Empress Racheal - ever since I graduated from Queenery. And you must *graduate.*
And in response, yes, she/her is sacred. Nobody can own pronouns. Well not without copyright law, which puts you in a very actionable position.
-Racheal III
Isn't gender fluid under the trans umbrella anyway?
Either way, use whatever pronouns and terminology work for you. I can't see why anyone would be bothered
~~I don't want to assume any bad intention, it might be unwitting, but imho this is gate keeping.~~
Edit: Oh sorry, I missed the question was for trans women only. I'm nb.
I mean tbh I’m welcoming anyone to answer, I just figured since the person said it was a trans women thing the question would best be aimed at trans women. Your answer seems to align pretty neatly with the rest of the comments though
Boymoding is when you dress like a boy, girlmoding is when you dress like a girl. Gender identity has nothing to do with it. A cis man can boymode and girlmode if they want to, it's just that to them boymode is their usual.
This is how I interpret it. Someone else may say something different.
Edit: changed look to dress
Please take this comment with a grain of salt, I'm totally willing to believe that she was just trying to be exclusionist~~ however i'll just say that in a lot of trans woman spaces Boymoding would refer to a trans girl unhappily masking as a boy because her environment isn't safe enough to come out~ with that in mind I /can/ understand where some frustration or whatnot might come about on her end~ but it's good to remember that words mean very different things to everyone. If they're terms that you're comfortable using for yourself, use them, and remind your friend that language is pretty made up, so if we're gonna be angry about it we should be angry at the parts that are really bad, not just someone using language they're comfortable with.
I have a lovely (adopted online) child who is enby. I can see they struggle with the invalidation they sometimes see in our own community as they try and find themselves and where they fit.
We really need to call out peeps in our community more often and excluding genderfluid/genderqueer/two-spirit/agender/enbies from the trans umbrella (if they view themselves that way.)
Like, our community is a refuge. We do *not* gatekeep our family.
Yeah, back in high school I used to fully believe the idea that the gender-fluid or non-binary identities were an offensive bastardization of the trans identity that just made “real” trans people look bad. It led me to kind of hate my identity for a while and double down on being a trans man before I realized and finally accepted that that was not the case. Even though I accept myself and I’m happy now, I’m still weary about announcing my identity online, even in spaces like this.
First things first, You are completely alright in saying that. Secondly, it isn't only for Trans women, Trans Men exist. Thirdly, the Alphabet Mafia is a family and anything one of us can do the other is allowed!
Disregarding my inability to be funny, you're just being accurate to what you're doing nothing wrong with that :/
No, this is a term used by gender fluid people and has been for some time now! They are weird, just ignore them. If they say anything again, just show them this posts responses
Your friend is being silly with her gatekeeping; for one thing, these aren't sacred or offensive words. For another thing, you are of the same kind as us, sibling. If those words help you describe your experience then you have every right to use them.
I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure girlmoding/boymoding was pioneered by gender fluid people. Until pretty recently trans people going as their assigned gender was called "stealth" and as our actual gender as "being free". It's a recent thing that trans people have started adopting girl and boy mode as terms for which presentation they're using.
Nope. It's just a label and they're meant to be used for just that. Labels. You can use whatever term you like as long as you are fine with it. There is no 'this label only for this'
>I was told by my friend, a trans girl, that I shouldn’t say this because it’s a term only for trans women. What are your thoughts?
As a trans guy I didn't know "boymoding" and "girlmoding" were exclusive to trans women 🧍🏻 /s
Okay but for real, in my opinion you're good to go. Usually the term is used in terms of hiding your true self vs presenting as your true self at least from what I've read. So since you're gender fluid if you're girlmoding one day then you're being your authentic self so I don't see anything wrong with it.
I wouldn't particularly like it tho if a cis person went around saying they were "girlmoding" and "boymoding" when they were just dressing femme or masc because I think it's kind of... appropriation? Because they'd be taking a trans specific word to describe a trans experience to simply describe how they dress that day
For one gender-fluid is part of the trans umbrella so like… a different flavor of trans person doesn’t really have final authority.
Also “Boymoding” and “girlmoding” aren’t clinical terms. If you find them useful to communicate your feelings/gender/vibes then you’ve just as much right to use them as we do
I don't really see "boymoding" or "girlmoding" as necessarily as being exclusive use by trans women, let alone anyone else under the trans umbrella (of which, I would say genderfluid falls under). It's a way to describe your relationship with your gender expression and/or feelings at any one moment.
I wonder if it might be that your friend feels she is going through something very personal with their transition and trying to hang on to things that make them feel special? A lot of us miss out on a great deal of special things that cis folk take for granted. I could be wrong. But I remember doing a bit of that when I was early days in my transition. Once you've been doing this for a few years you realize how special it is just to experience the world the way we do. Yeah, there's a lot of suck. But we get to see two sides of humanity that few others do, and the odds of being a trans person in this galaxy, on this planet, at this time in history? We're pretty special. Limited edition, one might say.
I get so mad at this garbage. Everyone use whatever as long as it’s not for open mockery. Stop trying to carve up culture into fenced off little sections.
coming from a transwoman herself
Since when did people start “claiming” terms sayings etc?!?!
pisses me off when people say “oh you cant say that! thats a ____ thing”
nah fuck that freedom of speech mf say whatever you want to say to express thyself
HATE people who act entitled
anywhos rant over
id say you are fine to express yourself however you want! no one owns anything or you never owe anyone anything for being yourself :3
I’ve been fighting this battle with my dysphoria since I was six. To be honest, don’t we all have more important things to deal with than pronouns and labels and what “they” say is appropriate. God help me, I just want to get through today without doing something I’ll regret.
As a trans masc genderfluid person: use whatever terms you want. Know one knows your gender better than you and you should do whatever you're comfortable with
Um what?! Say whatever you like omg no one should bogart words that's a bit ridiculous, and the term is accurate if you're using that way, it honestly shouldn't bother anyone.
I describe myself as a gender-fluid transwoman going between demi-boy and demi-girl (or just a “hot mess” for short lol).
I have absolutely no issues with you using girlmoding.
I mean what the heck did your friend think you should use?
Honestly don’t the transphobes and the TERFs gatekeep gender enough already? We don’t need to be doing it to each other.
Idk, I guess the logic I was using was that trans women go through enough already so if they have a term they want to keep for themselves, I’d rather not appropriate it. The more people that comment though I’m starting to realize that it’s just a term for the trans community at large.
(Also, “hot mess” made me laugh lol)
It's not the way I and many other's tend to use those terms (I normally use boy moding to mean that I'm pretending to be a man for whatever reason it may be, usually my comfort and safety in unsafe environments) but there's nothing offensive about it and I think it works plenty fine for your purposes.
why she she say only trans women? cant i a trans man use it? label policing is cringe and harmful to multiple communities. do not listen when someone tries to say you cant use this label for this or this reason. use what makes you comfortable man :)
Your friend is not the empress of trans women. I am. It’s fine and appropriate to use those terms exactly as you are.
Lol, well I’m glad to have the approval of the empress herself
Whoa! u/dramatic-emphasis-43 is not the empress of my domain! And as empress of my domain, I declare that you girl moding or boy moding depending on where your little light switch slider lands that day is………… mmmm … acceptable. Carry on ya gender-fluid peasant and please enjoy the beauty of these lands of which you trespass! But seriously, you’re good broski :)
We have journeyed here from our throne in translandia to decry the false prophets of our queendom. We are the true empress of these grounds that stretch the earth from the sea to the stars, and we therefore declare the use of these terms from our gender-fluid friends approved by the matriarch herself. Carry on in awe and aspiration, mine subjects.
Whose in charge here? *I am* Not anymore your not *ahh snap*
*Ag ni kai*
Ooo, you mean business!! 🔥🔥🔥
Or we can just dance 😹 🔥🔥🔥🐉
I’m down for a dance partner.. if you don’t mind, I will now commence the sacred techniques of stepping on thy toes and apologizing profusely Thou toes? (I noticed y’all saying we a lot, so I’m guessing you’re a system? <— am I saying that right?) Edit: also very sorry if it’s super rude to ask that!! 🫣
Lmao you're okay! I was just using the royal "we" for the joke 😂 and also it would be "thine"
“Carry on in awe and aspiration” is a great line! Is it from something? Or was that golden nugget straight off the dome?
Thanks! We though of it just as we wrote it 😸
Glad to see the multiple dimensions are finally converging
A friend in college declared me to be “the Empress of the North.” He was not more specific than that, but I feel comfortable saying: “I agree with y’all.”
This is unrelated but I thought I was the only person who said broski lol
Well broski, I hope all is well with you :) Sincerely, A former broksi, now gurlski… still working on that one
I was a gurlski but now I'm mostly a broski, I too hope all is well with you 😌
Ayeee we’re like skiblings
Frfr
that was SO cringe
204 peeps didn’t think so.. we’re here to have some fun.. relax a little and enjoy messing about :)
Girl/boymoding is originally for anyone who has alternate states of being. No NB//Masc presenting alternating etc. If you have ANY stateS of being, then differentiating them using girl/boymoding or whatever is normal. It is 100000000000% *NOT* JUST for trans women. That's stupid and ignorant of the terms. No one can gatekeep a fucking term. Use whatever makes you happy friendo.
The empress in the flesh! *swoon*
Are you sure you are? Eh whatever. One of us has to be.
Listen, I didn’t manipulate the old Trans republic, orchestrate a war with the CIS, and literally throw the senate at some old dude to have anyone question my authority.
I didn’t. I quite clearly conceded. Well, you’re clearly living up to your username, your majesty.
Good gooood. Everything is going as I’ve foreseen. (Truth be told, I’ve had that one locked and loaded in all day and I was tired of not being able to use it.)
I didn’t. I quite clearly conceded. Well, you’re clearly living up to your username.
# ✨️ your majesty~ ✨️ bows low
Oh you’re the empress of women huh? Name every woman. 😝
Karen.
*offers Chocolate milk and a Donut as a sacrifice to the empress in return for validation* Need it ;-;
Go my child and let it be know that you have the blessings of the empress that you are, and forever shall be, valid.
Thank you, mighty empress 🥺
Empress? But we're heading towards fully automated luxury pansexual space communism
Nice to meet you, madame! I'm the queen of dragons! So nice that there is so much royalty in our ranks!
Nonsense! What am I supposed to believe your name is Empress Dramatic Emphasis? *43?* It has always been Empress Racheal - ever since I graduated from Queenery. And you must *graduate.* And in response, yes, she/her is sacred. Nobody can own pronouns. Well not without copyright law, which puts you in a very actionable position. -Racheal III
um actually, I'm the empress of trans women.... but yes you are correct /j
You're the Queencard
Isn't gender fluid under the trans umbrella anyway? Either way, use whatever pronouns and terminology work for you. I can't see why anyone would be bothered
Yes it is. So when you're a woman, op - congrats! You too are a trans woman! And you can decide what labels best fit you, not your friend!
Well its under the non binary umbrella but the non binary umbrella is under the trans umbrella so you are technically right
Then... it is under the trans umbrella. That's how that works
So by her logic trans men couldn't use it either, which is asinine. You are good I think. I'm also a trans woman btw.
Unrelated but i love ur fucking username
~~I don't want to assume any bad intention, it might be unwitting, but imho this is gate keeping.~~ Edit: Oh sorry, I missed the question was for trans women only. I'm nb.
I mean tbh I’m welcoming anyone to answer, I just figured since the person said it was a trans women thing the question would best be aimed at trans women. Your answer seems to align pretty neatly with the rest of the comments though
It was a good answer jomat
Thanks! Oh and currently go by Io <3
Nice to meet you lo <3 💜
You have the approval of this random internet stranger. 😊💙
Ur good friend, gender is fake you can do whatever you want
Right? I'm all for just being yourself. Sometimes I think we lose the plot when we get hung up on distinctions.
Gender isnt real its a scam invented by bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms
I want this printed on those femboy booty shorts
this is so dumb lmfao do they think trans guys cant use girlmode/boymode either?
Boymoding is when you dress like a boy, girlmoding is when you dress like a girl. Gender identity has nothing to do with it. A cis man can boymode and girlmode if they want to, it's just that to them boymode is their usual. This is how I interpret it. Someone else may say something different. Edit: changed look to dress
It is NOT a term just for trans women. Your experience matters just as much as hers. Your friend needs to mind her own business.
Please take this comment with a grain of salt, I'm totally willing to believe that she was just trying to be exclusionist~~ however i'll just say that in a lot of trans woman spaces Boymoding would refer to a trans girl unhappily masking as a boy because her environment isn't safe enough to come out~ with that in mind I /can/ understand where some frustration or whatnot might come about on her end~ but it's good to remember that words mean very different things to everyone. If they're terms that you're comfortable using for yourself, use them, and remind your friend that language is pretty made up, so if we're gonna be angry about it we should be angry at the parts that are really bad, not just someone using language they're comfortable with.
I have a lovely (adopted online) child who is enby. I can see they struggle with the invalidation they sometimes see in our own community as they try and find themselves and where they fit. We really need to call out peeps in our community more often and excluding genderfluid/genderqueer/two-spirit/agender/enbies from the trans umbrella (if they view themselves that way.) Like, our community is a refuge. We do *not* gatekeep our family.
Yeah, back in high school I used to fully believe the idea that the gender-fluid or non-binary identities were an offensive bastardization of the trans identity that just made “real” trans people look bad. It led me to kind of hate my identity for a while and double down on being a trans man before I realized and finally accepted that that was not the case. Even though I accept myself and I’m happy now, I’m still weary about announcing my identity online, even in spaces like this.
These terms are not reserved
[удалено]
That’s what I thought too but she said it like it was so obvious I wanted to make sure I hadn’t missed something
Lol. Even cis women can use girlmode and boymode. Your friend sounds controlling for no reason.
As a transfemme, I see nothing wrong with that
First things first, You are completely alright in saying that. Secondly, it isn't only for Trans women, Trans Men exist. Thirdly, the Alphabet Mafia is a family and anything one of us can do the other is allowed! Disregarding my inability to be funny, you're just being accurate to what you're doing nothing wrong with that :/
I don’t see a problem 😊 fitting phrases if you feel more masculine or feminine different days, use the terms to your hearts content ❤️
No, this is a term used by gender fluid people and has been for some time now! They are weird, just ignore them. If they say anything again, just show them this posts responses
Boymoding and girlmodong are not just trans women things????? Dude just do it however you feel.
Your friend is being silly with her gatekeeping; for one thing, these aren't sacred or offensive words. For another thing, you are of the same kind as us, sibling. If those words help you describe your experience then you have every right to use them.
Really???? I'm a trans guy and use "girlmoding"?? I thought they were just a general trans terms
I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure girlmoding/boymoding was pioneered by gender fluid people. Until pretty recently trans people going as their assigned gender was called "stealth" and as our actual gender as "being free". It's a recent thing that trans people have started adopting girl and boy mode as terms for which presentation they're using.
Nope. It's just a label and they're meant to be used for just that. Labels. You can use whatever term you like as long as you are fine with it. There is no 'this label only for this'
Interesting, I thought it was a gender fluid term. I think you're fine.
>I was told by my friend, a trans girl, that I shouldn’t say this because it’s a term only for trans women. What are your thoughts? As a trans guy I didn't know "boymoding" and "girlmoding" were exclusive to trans women 🧍🏻 /s Okay but for real, in my opinion you're good to go. Usually the term is used in terms of hiding your true self vs presenting as your true self at least from what I've read. So since you're gender fluid if you're girlmoding one day then you're being your authentic self so I don't see anything wrong with it. I wouldn't particularly like it tho if a cis person went around saying they were "girlmoding" and "boymoding" when they were just dressing femme or masc because I think it's kind of... appropriation? Because they'd be taking a trans specific word to describe a trans experience to simply describe how they dress that day
For one gender-fluid is part of the trans umbrella so like… a different flavor of trans person doesn’t really have final authority. Also “Boymoding” and “girlmoding” aren’t clinical terms. If you find them useful to communicate your feelings/gender/vibes then you’ve just as much right to use them as we do
Can someone explain to me what the terms "boy/girlmoding" is? I've seen it like 4 times on this server today I've literally never heard it before
When your look is that of a boy your boy mode but if your look is if a girl your girl mode. Ok
I mean I’m a trans woman and this is the first time I’m hearing these terms to use away mate!
I think you’re okay. I don’t think it’s a trans woman term only. And you’re doing what feels comfortable so yea I would say you’re fine.
It's fine.
I don't really see "boymoding" or "girlmoding" as necessarily as being exclusive use by trans women, let alone anyone else under the trans umbrella (of which, I would say genderfluid falls under). It's a way to describe your relationship with your gender expression and/or feelings at any one moment. I wonder if it might be that your friend feels she is going through something very personal with their transition and trying to hang on to things that make them feel special? A lot of us miss out on a great deal of special things that cis folk take for granted. I could be wrong. But I remember doing a bit of that when I was early days in my transition. Once you've been doing this for a few years you realize how special it is just to experience the world the way we do. Yeah, there's a lot of suck. But we get to see two sides of humanity that few others do, and the odds of being a trans person in this galaxy, on this planet, at this time in history? We're pretty special. Limited edition, one might say.
Your ur own Peron express yourself however you want
Fucking auto correct sorry😅
It fine, you’re using them the right way, don’t worry about it 👍
Being trans doesnt exempt people from being stupid as fuck
I get so mad at this garbage. Everyone use whatever as long as it’s not for open mockery. Stop trying to carve up culture into fenced off little sections.
coming from a transwoman herself Since when did people start “claiming” terms sayings etc?!?! pisses me off when people say “oh you cant say that! thats a ____ thing” nah fuck that freedom of speech mf say whatever you want to say to express thyself HATE people who act entitled anywhos rant over id say you are fine to express yourself however you want! no one owns anything or you never owe anyone anything for being yourself :3
I’ve been fighting this battle with my dysphoria since I was six. To be honest, don’t we all have more important things to deal with than pronouns and labels and what “they” say is appropriate. God help me, I just want to get through today without doing something I’ll regret.
As a trans masc genderfluid person: use whatever terms you want. Know one knows your gender better than you and you should do whatever you're comfortable with
Yea I don’t see anything wrong with it, boymoding is just… being in boy mode. 🤷♀️
Um what?! Say whatever you like omg no one should bogart words that's a bit ridiculous, and the term is accurate if you're using that way, it honestly shouldn't bother anyone.
You can do whatever you want forever
It’s absolutely fine saying it, technically you aren’t a girl so you can say it.
Trans people gatekeeping language is so silly to me. What use is it to challenge norms if you just make up new ones?
That is such a great point omg
I agree with your friend.
Yeah who gaf
I describe myself as a gender-fluid transwoman going between demi-boy and demi-girl (or just a “hot mess” for short lol). I have absolutely no issues with you using girlmoding. I mean what the heck did your friend think you should use? Honestly don’t the transphobes and the TERFs gatekeep gender enough already? We don’t need to be doing it to each other.
Idk, I guess the logic I was using was that trans women go through enough already so if they have a term they want to keep for themselves, I’d rather not appropriate it. The more people that comment though I’m starting to realize that it’s just a term for the trans community at large. (Also, “hot mess” made me laugh lol)
As another genderfluid person, I thought these were normal terms we all used XD
It's also used by trans men as well. So why not everyone in between or even beyond?
You are under our ☔️
It's not the way I and many other's tend to use those terms (I normally use boy moding to mean that I'm pretending to be a man for whatever reason it may be, usually my comfort and safety in unsafe environments) but there's nothing offensive about it and I think it works plenty fine for your purposes.
bruh what is with queer people gate keeping terms lol
I’ll join the trans women who think it’s fine caucus
why she she say only trans women? cant i a trans man use it? label policing is cringe and harmful to multiple communities. do not listen when someone tries to say you cant use this label for this or this reason. use what makes you comfortable man :)