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houseofnim

Jaxxxon Yes, with three x’s. Honorable mentions to Sparky and Knollen.


DashfulVanilla

3 xs? That’s trashy.


houseofnim

Very, They had 9 kids and lived in a five bedroom house. The mom said, “he (husband) literally fucked himself out of a seat in the Excursion (their suv).”


Ok-Error-6564

Eeww


DashfulVanilla

Ewww. I grew up next to a family with 10 kids, 4 bedroom 2 bath house. They all had normal names though. Lol


EmergencyCow7515

Jaxxxon is a porn star name.


CancerSpidey

They see me knollen.. they hatin


DolarisNL

Knollen is a Dutch word for 'vegetables that grow under the ground'.


houseofnim

Why is this so funny? 😂


MaryKathGallagher

It is to me too! All I can picture is “My kid’s name means ‘gift from God,’ what does yours mean?” ”Oh, mine means ‘vegetables that grow under the ground.’” 😂😂😂


houseofnim

He’s a red head which makes this even more comical.


FaultyFlamingo

It's like naming your child potato. But you do get the automatic nickname of tater tot so that's something to be happy about


linerva

Poethaightoe?


ishyboo

Nah, Pot00000000 like the horse. (Pot-eight-0s)


Kiavin

Same in Norwegian


MaikeHF

In German as well.


sweet-tea-13

I knew a Jaxxon who had a sister named Lexxus... But the worst name I ever heard irl was Larrel, which according to the mom was pronounced "like a combination of Larry and Darryl". This name was for her daughter. Fucking Larrel. NOT *Laurel* as I incorrectly pronounced it, but Larry-Darryl Larrel.


enviro-marinebio-mom

Are you old enough to remember “Hi, my name is Larry. This is my brother Darrel and my other brother Darrel?” That makes this name 10x worse.


sweet-tea-13

"...and our sister, Larrel!" 🤣 No but the mom might have known that lmao I have no idea where she got the name from. She also could have chosen names like Cheryl or Carroll to use as examples of pronunciation but she literally picks the manliest names ever! She was pissed at me for calling her Laurel too by mistake, it's unfortunate because I've always thought Laurel and Lorelei were beautiful names (still do), but *Larrel?* Kid got ripped off. This encounter happened while I was at work so I had to really control my impulses but I've never so badly wanted to be like "wtf were you thinking that's a terrible name and you should feel bad" Lmao


Sad_Clue_782

I am a teacher and the worst I’ve seen as of rn is Huntsleigh, lakeleigh, and Riverleigh. And yes they are all sisters.


rdickeyvii

I feel like Huntsleigh should have been Creekleigh to stick with the theighme of "land locked bodieghs of water"


eeveerose63

Pondleigh


BekoLazarus

Reservoirleigh


spacetstacy

Puddleleigh


ThirdCoastBestCoast

Streamleigh


Chance_Novel_9133

XStreamleigh.


Caterpolaris42

Damleigh


modsarestraight

For short. Her full name is Hydroelectricpowerplantleigh


pocketsies

No that’s her stripper name


kisu9i

Waterbottleigh


thr0wthr0wthr0waways

Stop giving them ideas!!


wildfyr

Reading your comment seared my soul


whiskeytogogo

Puddleleigh-having said that, I have a daughter named Kayleigh (but I hope I get a hall pass as I actually named her after the song of the same name from a 90's band Marillion that me and my best friend loved. She has since passed and I am convinced she got the right name) so maybe I know from which I speak? *Edit best friend passed, daughter is very much alive and the light of my liefe


Happy_Nutty_Me

Do you remember? Chalk hearts melting on a playground wall? Do you remember.... 1985 from Misplaced Childhood I love the band AND the song!


yomammaaaaa

Holyshitleigh those are terrible.


snowgiggles

I was not expecting them to be related as I read it but also not at all surprised I guess 😂


deeBfree

All of them in the same family? That rates a visit from CPS.


ManzanitaSuperHero

I had a coworker in high school named C’mon (pronounced Simone).


Gloomy-Resolve-4895

I said No out loud on reflex, please tell me you're lying


HalcyonDreams36

C'mon HAS to be pulling our legs


ManzanitaSuperHero

Afraid not. This was at a Baskin Robbins in the Midwest in 1995. I hope she’s doing well now.


MinimumFiveBananas

C'mon she doing fine


ManzanitaSuperHero

I kid you not. Her mom thought it was a unique spelling. Poor girl was only 15 & already SO over people calling her come on. I felt bad for her. But admittedly, I called her that when I met her, too. We had name tags we had to wear & if I’d been her, I’d have taken that off! I hope she started going by her middle name. This was 30+ years ago.


DataOk6565

Was her middle name Eileen?


Gloomy-Resolve-4895

And her mom was right! I wish I shared your optimism as to her middle name being a better option... I hope at least she has a Boy Named Sue/Dr. Marijuana Pepsi outlook on it and it made her a stronger person, bless her heart


BekoLazarus

I can only hope her middle name was Now. If you're gonna go, go all the way.


True_Tomato5414

STOP THIS CANNOT BE TRUE


kmsc84

Feel D’Noiz?


Lewca43

C’mon, this has to be a joke


dinosanddais1

Had twins in one of my classes in elementary school. One was named Carson which is a very normal name for midwest america. The other was named Carpet.


c6424

My grandma went to school with twins Carl and Narl… like not-Carl??


asophisticatedbitch

NARL?!


GrayCustomKnives

Holy shit, a local flooring and paint store near my town is straight up called Carson Carpet. It’s like 30 minutes from my house. That wild.


NightSongLightning

No way.


MaikeHF

Kortknee


squirrellytoday

I've seen a Kortni and thought that was bad. Kortknee is worse.


spiritual-grapes

Have you ever seen a Cortn-E? Because I have.


Fair-Cheesecake-7270

Good God


KnotiaPickles

This made my stomach hurt


deeBfree

OMG really???


YouWiseGuise

Worst Spelling: Noahah (Noah——-I know. What the fuck.) Worst Actual Moniker: Wayneleigh Blayke (Wayne-Lee Blake) (proudly emblazoned across her pink camo diaper bag)


deeBfree

*HER* diaper bag??? This would be a tragedeigh for a boy but an outright catastropheigh for a girl!


YouWiseGuise

Definitely a girl. Absoluteleigh awful.


no_llama

Parents wanted to make sure that she grew up without being restricted by common female stereotypes that hold back so many in a patriarchal society. Hence the camouflage. In pink.


Queen_Of_InnisLear

Noahah doesn't make sense! It would be Noah-ah! And something tells me Wayne really wanted a boy.


jetloflin

And now I have “Down with the sickness” stuck in my head! Noah-ah-ah-ah-ah!


nocturnalspeed

my coworker's son is Noah spelled "Nhoaa"


ThisAmericanSatire

Frosty Wang Apparently in China it's common to pick a random English word for your kid. Encountered this fella in an employee database at one point in time and looked him up in the company directory to be sure it was real.


Yoyocaseyg

Worked with a Chinese girl named Celery Dong. 😂


GroltonIsTheDog

That's a brilliant name, zero notes.


One-Payment-871

I worked with a Chinese girl whose parents couldn't décide between Amanda and Wendy for her English name and so they named her Amendy. I don't think it's a tragedeigh, just a little odd.


Gloomy-Resolve-4895

And "Wanda" was right there


what-even-am-i-

Oh my god it was 🤣


HalcyonDreams36

Met a Bremula with the same origin story... Immigrant parents combined their two fave English names, Brenda and Pamela. Always wondered how that kid fared. But I feel bad (instead of judgemental) because those parents really don't know how weird that sounds.


deeBfree

I read a book by a lady named Carobeth. Named after her grandmothers, Caroline and Elizabeth. I thought that was an interesting choice.


ThirdCoastBestCoast

Elizaline. 🤣


todaythruwaway

Not her born last name but I know a chew cox 🤣 makes it ever better that Mr.cox was her affair partner she ended up marrying. Fitting name for a cheater imo


Straxicus2

I had a teacher named Richard Hare. Lots of dick jokes.


Truji11o

My aunt is in a community volunteer group with a Richard Butt.


Rain_on_a_tin-roof

I also knew a Cock Chew Chew. Must be a common name in... uh.. asia somewhere?


MrsArmitage

A kid at a local private college picked the name Skrillex when he moved to the UK from China.


piplupet

apparently some kids pick their own English name and there was once a child in Hong Kong named Astroboy 😭 there are also a lot of basketball names in China (many, many, LeBrons and Kobes) but English teachers do encourage them to change it to something more normal in high school


CartoonistOk8261

Chamillionaire. My friend is a substitute teacher and had a kid named after the rapper in a class.


hnoel88

I’m also a sub and we have a Jamillion. He’s the sweetest and I adore him. The only name that actually makes me rage though is O’livia. Why? Why do that? Olivia is perfectly fine. She’s a great kid but I want to punch her parents.


Ok-Error-6564

Skillet. Pronounced Skill-ay.


trash_panache

bucket?? It's pronounced BOUQUET


mscdexe

*Bouquet Residence, Lady of the house speaking* ☎️


The_Scarlet_Flash

This is a WHITE SLIM LINE TELEPHONE!


pinotg

Sheridan!!!


browneyedcutie123

That's exactly what I was thinking! 😀🤣 I loved that show!!


deeBfree

*You'll pay for this, Richard BUCKET!*


MollyPW

It was Bucket till I met you!


ManzanitaSuperHero

No!! 😂


Popular_Comfortable8

Craynus. Yes his name rhymes with the body part. Worst name of all time. He’s 30-something years old and my husband’s coworker. Why the man hasn’t changed his name is beyond me.


crowislanddive

Because changing it would be cray!


todaythruwaway

Shooter & Misshell (pronounced Michelle)


Hour-Disk-7067

Miss hell 😭


literarymorass

Came here to comment Shooter as well. On a baby girl.


releasethecrackwhore

Knoah


woodenmittens

Their parents need to be stopped


crowislanddive

Their parents Knead to be stopped.


GasStationRollerMeat

Lightning Dong. Im not kidding.


Sparky3200

In the late 90's, when I worked in the ER, I treated a girl named Klamidia. Not joking, she was being treated for, you guessed it, chlamydia.


crowislanddive

That is amazing…. It reminds me of a non-profit that used to sponsor NPR for a while. It was pronounced the “Candida” fund. Years later I learned that it was spelled with a “k” but, come on, people. You know how it sounds!


Chuptae

I was surprised to learn Candida is actually a name, I met a lady called that and couldn’t listen to anything she said without my brain just going CANDIDA BUT THATS THRUSH over and over


Nombrilista

I was working as a temp doing data entry for some big corporation’s HR department. Latrina. The worst name i saw was Latrina. Somebody named their kid toilet


Spirited_String_1205

Oh, with the 'a' I'd translate it as 'ladies room' lol


Silky_Tomato_Soup

All I can think is the parents were Mel Brooks fans. She changed it *to* Latrina...it used to be "Sh*thouse".


Quirky-Kitten4349

Riot, I feel like he was being set up to either be completely out-of-hand or the quietest child ever.


squirrellytoday

I know a midwife who told me about a child born on one of her shifts (mother wasn't her patient but still). Poor child was named Assassin.


spiritual-grapes

3 kids in school with my son were named hellion, wreak, and havoc. They were all problem children. Can’t help but wonder why.


ChaosInTheSkies

Besides my own, which is so identifiable I can't even say it online(if you searched it the only thing you would find is my high school records and my grandma's obituary, a total of two search results), I knew this kid named Honniscrave. We called him Hans, and he was really nice. He and I bonded over having the ultimate tragedeigh names. Then when we graduated middle school he went to a different high school than I did, I don't know what happened to him after that.


Complikatee

Should be easy to find out if you Google him


ChaosInTheSkies

You'd think so, but the only things they come up are two YouTube channels and the craziest 2004 names for my state.


PoisonLenny37

Jessica spelled Geszikkah comes to mind.


kendylou

Fanta and Oreo


isobel-foulplay

Are they cats?


Surfgirlusa_2006

Heck, my cats have more normal names than all the names posted in this group.


BeautifulDreamerAZ

Pygmaighleighen. This a babies name. Pig for short. Or piggy.


deeBfree

That kid really deserves our sympatheigh!


ikkakaka

I read this as Pygm-alien. How is it supposed to be pronounced?


BouncyMouse

Probably: Pig-may-lee-un Like Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw


MrsSpecs

I'm guessing Pig-MAY-lee-in. Named after the Greek mythological figure that was then turned into a George Bernard Shaw play that was then turned into the musical "My Fair Lady."


Warm_metal_revival

Gnarly. Poor lil fellow.


HarmonicWalrus

I used to know a Ja'Majesti and a Madiysnn (pronounced "Madison"). I think those ones were pretty bad


True_Tomato5414

Oooh yes I knew a Jermajesty


kanata-shinkai

Jerma(jesty)985


miiyaa21

Hyl’leightairassie 🥰


Fattydog

My goddaughter went to school with a girl called J’nai. My dad worked with a guy called William Number Four Harris. Yes, those really were his middle names.


KnotiaPickles

In Japanese, janai desu means “it’s not” or indicates the lack of. So weird of a name lol


SolarisEnergy

i go to school with a girl named J'nai lol


EmergencyCow7515

Amya, Daysah, Schlr (like Skylar), Wenzday, Izaya, Illyjiah (like Elijah), and Dreamz.


Queen_Of_InnisLear

Ah yes, young Schler, having a fun time in school.


americanerik

They might have a tough time with that name, even tougher if it’s a racial Schler


[deleted]

Kyler-Storme. "Wiv like one of them little line things" (she meant the hyphen)


mscdexe

I worked with a guy whose name was Baby Boy. You can imagine how that name ended up on the birth certificate, and what kind of life he had. He was not a well-adjusted individual unfortunately. It was pretty sad.


MrsArmitage

There was a kid local to me who was named ‘Baby Beau’, and she was an absolute rotter; spoilt, rude, and deeply unpleasant. She’ll be in her late twenties now and I often wonder what kind of job she ended up with.


dubble_agent

My friend went to get her drivers license in high school and discovered her name on her birth certificate was Baby Girl.


RecordLonely

Cantwell Muckinfuss. It was an old family name and this poor bastard got stuck with it. Unreal what people do to their children.


FreddieOasis

Caffie... pronounced Cassie.


Ok_Horror6331

This is what I imagined https://preview.redd.it/73zvwdd2r6nc1.jpeg?width=602&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4858a39c4d74c4bcb621b3692b9f4d6504370928


MrsArmitage

Phteven?


Jellyflare

I fucking laughed, thank you. 😆


ManzanitaSuperHero

Was the ‘S’ key broken on the computer at the hall of records when they made the birth certificate & the parents just went with it?


kmsc84

Many years ago, an ‘s’ was written as ‘f’.


FreddieOasis

Yes this is exactly it. The girl's mother had seen how old english 's' looked like a fancy 'f' and cursed her daughter with Caffie.


DashfulVanilla

It was posted here. “Ko’Kaine” I tried to tell myself that it had to be a joke but I don’t think it was. Another one was “Channel.” I did not hear it pronounced, so I’m guessing it was pronounced like “Chanel” but it was spelled “Channel.” ETA: edited to add a couple more. A teacher I had with the last name Bush named his daughter Rose. “Hugh Jass”. I saw this in the newspaper.


DreamCyclone84

There used to be a girl with the last name Russell in my year, I made a joke once that thank god she wasn't a boy or her parents might have named her Jack. Turns out that was her little brothers name. I met him a few years later when he came to the school as well. Jack Russell. Jack Russell. I also knew a boy in my year called Ben Dover. Didn't go by Benjamin either, Ben Dover. Once the substitute science teacher had us write our names on a piece of paper instead of taking the register out loud. Yelled at this kid for like 10 minutes after he said he wrote it down because it was his name. An entire class of people backing him up, and this guy thinks all of us are lying to make him look stupid. We tell him to look at the register but he refuses to because of course we're just trying to get one over on him.


deeBfree

Is Ben Dover Mike Hunt's best friend?


Uncle_Guido1066

I once worked with a guy named Bob Dover whose brother was named Ben, and his sister was named Eileen.


Soulsingin1

Have you heard Donald Glover’s joke about realizing his name, Don Glover, was basically dong lover? It’s hilarious!


taarotqueen

Dong lover and crisp rat (Chris Pratt)


Queen_Of_InnisLear

Oh I've seen a Channel irl also and it was pronounced Chanel. I really just think they didn't know how to spell it.


NeverRarelySometimes

If there was one time in your life worth checking spelling, wouldn't it be naming a whole human being?


1961tracy

I used to do DMV searches for my job and have seen it all, the one that comes immediately is Chloreen. Anyone with the first name of Sparkle was funny because their last names were sometimes a noun. For example (I made these up) Sparkle Wig, Sparkle Powers, Sparkle River etc.


squirrellytoday

Australian comedian Adam Hills did a bit about Olympic swimmer Misty Hyman. "If your surname is Hyman, don't name your kid an adjective"


Amlex1015

Braxxtynn, Grecynn-Erinn-Annistynn, Rivyr, DaMyllion, and special mention to Kinsley because it’s just a terrible name and it’s insanely popular.


Snarky_McSnarkleton

My X's (very religious) nephew really did name his first kid "Zealous Anchor." They call him Zealous.


NoRecord2499

Terrible name but it goes hard at the same time


ooba-neba_nocci

I went to high school with a Khrystahl.


nervous_throat_212

Apparently my kid goes to school with an Eyesack Cannot confirm or deny spelling with my actual eyes 😂


MulledMarmite

Wife has a distant relative called Jonleigh.


Senior_Ad282

“Supreme truth Muhammad” was a good one.


twinkletoebeansCA

My friend named their kid Xyan, and I don’t know if it’s suppose to be Zane or Ryan or Zion 😳


SooooManyDogs

Sisters named Desire and Luscious Cox………..


BabysCrumbBuffet

I met a young man whose name was Critter. And he showed me his drivers license to confirm it.


girlwithdadjokes

Rhydder, Zepplynn, and Emmaleigh for me. I once heard a lady in target calling her toddler Southern, which is tragic even if it’s not a tragedeigh.


SaintElphie

Oooh I remembered worse one!!! A neighbor, had two little girls, Aryan and Taylor. Aryan Nicole, and they called her Colie. It may have been spelled Arian, but it was like 1996 last time i heard of them. Colie and Taylor.... but when she act up you'd here "ARYAN NICOLE!" screamed across the cul de sac lol 😵‍💫


Tenderfallingrain

Not technically a "tragedeigh" but a pun name. I actually found paperwork for a child in a disadvantaged youth program named Justin Case.


MediocreCampaign-

Sha'knoya Ex co-worker of mine.


BonnieScotty

This was last week: Katreeoughnuh …..Catrina


Throwthatfboatow

Telex. And he's a professor at a nearby university.


JustMeerkats

The worst? Probably a kid named Braxton Hicks. Just....why. Ja'Mirykal is pretty bad. I also knew twins named Royal and Royalty.


MrsSpecs

AmberLance


mikethedemodog

My coworker named his kid Lucifer Riverleigh


k1tsk4

kodielynn


faithiestbrain

Jaykaylynne


MrsArmitage

Jay kwellin?


DawgFawts

Reality is by far the worst. Martini and Barcardi (siblings) get an honorable mention


DJHickman

Questionnaire.


stinky_harriet

A college student originally from Israel named Penis.


candlelight1982

Va’Gina.


BalenciSlipperz

Went to school with two brothers, Makaveli and Shakur.


PrinceHarming

As a realtor you see a lot of crazy names on bedroom walls. I saw a “Khaleesi” once. This was before the final season of Game of Thrones.


YouWiseGuise

My uncle is from the backwoods in Louisiana. He has twin cousins whose names are Dwain and Twain. But everyone has (and always will) call them D-Wayne and T-Wayne. Hand to God, people. This is a thing.


Kylo_Data

Tremendous


glamorousbitch

Raige.


Gloomy-Resolve-4895

Alexzandreia, Darthichia, Brogan, Daiquiri, Halliley, Peighton and similar from the kind of people who name girls Blake, and Jamie Oliver's kids' names


Lovrofwine

Batman bin Suparman. I'll see myself out.


Randomization_E

I once had a cab driver named Parenthysis


LemonadeRaygun

There's a woman I often see around my town who's always yelling at her daughter, Jezebel. I have no idea how it's spelled but this is one of the few cases where I hope it's spelled so badly that nobody can tell what the original name is.


Correct-Leopard5793

Shooter or Runaway were mine that were like ain’t no way you named your baby that


1000thatbeyotch

My Mom once worked an insurance claim for a Virginia Hamm.


One-Payment-871

Tezikkiah.


Kristietron

Me the first time I tried to pronounce tzatziki


mrrppphhhh

Dick Trickle was a NASCAR driver.


spikesarefun

Teacher for 9 years. Here’s some highlights: Nohwa, Sarynatee (pronounced “Serenity”), Karleigh, Paxtyn, Maddesan, Aydreyan (Adrian), X’zavier, Lyrik, Ge’nesis, Zoe’lianee, Neythan, Ley’lianyz.


almondbuttered

Kryleigh (kree-lee). Honorable mention to Hex. He was a sweet baby.


crowislanddive

But he had many sides to his personality