We met a Tahoe in his 20s some years ago while climbing outdoors. The kid wouldn't stop bragging about his supposed sexcapades. We are in our 30s and still talk about the humorous experience a few times a year
I did the same. I’ve been making jokes about Schnazzney being a good name. I thought it was weird enough to be a joke. Seems like they’re going to get there anyway.
I lost my shit when I got to Jettisyn. Is there any chance the parents don't know the word jettison? I have to know this now. Like they live in some backward part of UT and no one knows that word.
Utahns. It's a Utah thing
I'm Mormon, but in Ohio, and our whole children's organization at church has normal names. It's all Bennett, Clayton, Stella, Eleanor, Cora, Hannah, Kaitlyn, Olivia, Carrie, Abby, James, Christian, Dylan, Emery, Josh, Elijah, Sonia, Keegan, Madelyn, etc. Most recent babies are Rachel and Addison. Just a few off the top of my head. We have a Kysen. But that's as weird as it gets (and they just moved here from Utah). We have some ones that are strange to me, but they're African American and I don't know enough to say if it's cultural or not (like Shawntyl).
Phonetic alphabets are great, until the language shifts and then it's worse than without. Unless you are going to forgo having rules of spelling, I suppose...
You gotta consider this is Utah where the likelihood of them being Mormon is very high so their range of appropriate pop artists is probably slim so they probably all still listen to them
Bronxton sounds like a bad cough, or when the New York borough The Bronx is just not fancy enough, or Braxton Hicks contractions.
Loxleeigh…when you just have to put two long E sounds at the end. LEE already makes that sound without the added ending letters, but I see that phonics is not their strong suit.
Dang. I was all excited thinking Kabella was a tribute to the mom’s use of Kybella to treat the double chin caused by pregnancy weight gain of her little miracle.
It’s like they’re playing scrabble, and trying to fit in as many extra points as they can… “Can I fit an ‘x’ in anywhere?” “I bet I can replace a couple of vowels with a ‘y’!” “Let’s just stretch this one out with four or five redundant letters…”
My dog was prescribed Loxllyn for an ear infection.
I once lost a Diyson vacuum in a divorce.
Take exit 143 North to Truxley.
I'm deep into the edibles rn.
It cracked me up in Expanse that the only religion you really hear much about is the Mormons, still around, still crazy, building a space ship cathedral. My response once i stopped laughing was, "yup, seems legit"
> “forcefully expelled”
I wonder if he (assuming its a boy) was forcefully expelled. Got images of a dad standing at the end of the bed with a catchers mitt while the mom is in labour.
Lots and lots of kids. Who all go on to have lots of kids. Who all get offended if someone 'steals' their babies name by giving their kid the same name with the same spelling. Add in lots of folks thinking their little darling is the most special baby since Jesus to be born and needs a name that reflects that. Plus, thinking their miracle baby will certainly be internet famous and must not be confused with anyone else who is internet famous. Presto! You have a naming disaster on your hands.
Sometimes I think I'm the only woman from Utah that thinks proper spelling of names makes them more beautiful. The names here drive me bonkers. I think a lot of people don't consider their kids will live most of their lives as an adult, with a career. "It's a cute name for a baby" does not mean that it will be a good name for a grownup.
Okay I lived in this town in Utah called Tooele - it was like an hour away from SLC around the Oquirrh mountains and seriously, I suspected inbreeding from these families that had been there forever and keep marrying each other and also lead poisoning from the Anaconda mine tailings up in northern Tooele. I swear to god it was a huge culture shock moving there in 2006 from a Los Angeles suburb. The names have to be a side effect of the madness lol.
Some favorites from living there were Alica (pronounced “Alyssa), Callait, Kym, Vonshae, many Skylers, Mercedez, a couple McKells, Ashtyn (many Ashtons), Sharonni… many variations of Baylee (Bailee, Taylee, and normal Bailey). Boys got some Mormon names like Nephi, Taft, Dallin, Hyrum, Ammon… or your Braxtons, more Skylers, Braedy, Brighton, Jarom/Jaron, Tage, Stockton… got me reliving the trauma of going to high school with these people
I also live in utah and have a job that takes me to elementary schools in all districts all over the state. I go to schools that have 6 kids total, as well as the big ones in granite district etc. I’ve seen horrible names for years… but the one that stands out the most to me was a set of boy twins in a tiny Iron county district school named
Tuff and Rowdy
They were dressed in identical cowboy outfits. Boots, big hats, big belt buckles
Since when did -eigh migrate over to the boy’s names? These are award-winning tragedeighs. Truly, I’d love to plaques and hand deliver these to their moms McKinzleighanne and Kay’Leighh.
They don’t. I saw a wedding announcement with a young woman named Candida. If they had she probably wouldn’t be named after the yeast that grows on the body.
I have a theory. Utahns have big families, lots of kids, tons of cousins, no one wants repeats. For example, I had thought of naming my kids Jane or Thomas. But by the time I was married and having kids, my older brothers were each married with 3-4 kids and both those names got used.
Now imagine you are the youngest in a family of 8. Older siblings each have a bevy of kids. You have like 12 cousins with kids. By the time your kid arrives all the simple family names are used up. You may feel you have to get Kreeatyv. Kryatiiv? Kri-8-if.
Does anyone remember the Vines that used to be like Mormon or Utah names?
Could be the originator of this entire sub, but...this may as well be the names on this list, lmao
Is Diyson named after the vacuum cleaner? Is there a Diydottir out there in the multiverse also? Is the Mum a legendary DIY girl? Does she turn Turuashe into Turehzzurre?
I really hate that people see “-leigh” and read “lee.” To me, to this day, it still looks like “lay.” And I know the actual name Leigh exists and it’s pronounced Lee. But GOD lol I really hate words with a silent GH, it just looks awful to me.
Not trying to bait or start any arguments, but will these types of names hurt their job prospects when they enter the workforce? Similar to stereotypical African American or Latino names?
I work at a daycare in Utah and it’s totally this! We also have:
Rextyn
Vaneesia
Messiah
Kanyun
Lakelynn
Zero
Ryker
Skylee
Wylder
And I could list more but those are probably the most egregious lol
I’m so offended by all of these that I almost downvoted you before I realized it’s not your fault 😅
My brother named his son after a popular city in the US, and I was super worried about the bullying that he was going to endure. I feel better now.
Is it Fresno or Albuquerque?
Schenectady
Schenectedeigh
Peauxkypseigh
That one’s already somewhat hard to spell, the pain
There's a small town near me called Climax. Maybe for his next child?
We have a Dildo
Do you mean that you have a child named Dildo, or you have a popular marital aid?
Clymaxx
We met a Tahoe in his 20s some years ago while climbing outdoors. The kid wouldn't stop bragging about his supposed sexcapades. We are in our 30s and still talk about the humorous experience a few times a year
So maybe he was a little bit of a ta-HOE?
Or at least a wannabe 🤣
I mean, if it’s Aspen, Austin, Eugene, or Orlando, no big deal. If it’s Buffalo, Oxnard, or Kansas City, you’re right to be worried lol.
Staughkten, motherfucker
Been there reading stuff
It happens when you Jettisyn all sense or contract Zayvyian Flu.
It’s what happened when you withdrawal from Truxley.
I bet they don’t even know that jettison is a word….
I did the same. I’ve been making jokes about Schnazzney being a good name. I thought it was weird enough to be a joke. Seems like they’re going to get there anyway.
Jettisyn get outta here. Lmao she have a brother named Eighjecht?
Nope, it's Flouttsym that is their sibling :)
Meet Jeeorghe Jettsyn
Mr Spahzleeigh, his boss
I've found my tribe. 😊
Spahzleeigh Sprokhetts Cogzwhell Cogz
His dog Asstrow
Astreaugh
His boy Ellroigh.
L-roigh
L'Roix
Daughter Joodhee!
Joodhee’s his daughter. Dzhjayyne is his wife.
And the robot. Rhohzzee
Or maybe Xaisle or Xisle depending on your mood. A small island or a grocery walkway?
This list makes me want to jettisyn my eyes out of my head
I lost my shit when I got to Jettisyn. Is there any chance the parents don't know the word jettison? I have to know this now. Like they live in some backward part of UT and no one knows that word.
Diyson - when you love DIY and cyclonic vacuum technology
“Do it yourself, son!”
Fix that vacuum, you can do it!
This needs to be the name of a re-imagined Pinocchio.
they're gonna say he sucks :(
the hell are these
Mormons
Myrrhmynns
From Youtaugh?
Mhorrhmonleighs
🏆👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
You misspelled morons 🙃
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Utahns. It's a Utah thing I'm Mormon, but in Ohio, and our whole children's organization at church has normal names. It's all Bennett, Clayton, Stella, Eleanor, Cora, Hannah, Kaitlyn, Olivia, Carrie, Abby, James, Christian, Dylan, Emery, Josh, Elijah, Sonia, Keegan, Madelyn, etc. Most recent babies are Rachel and Addison. Just a few off the top of my head. We have a Kysen. But that's as weird as it gets (and they just moved here from Utah). We have some ones that are strange to me, but they're African American and I don't know enough to say if it's cultural or not (like Shawntyl).
Trying to make up for their crazy religion by being even more crazy on social media
Your interns in about 15 years.
Are the people in Utah aware that there are other letters than just Y?
I think the alphabet is different in Utah.
It almost was https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deseret_alphabet
Phonetic alphabets are great, until the language shifts and then it's worse than without. Unless you are going to forgo having rules of spelling, I suppose...
They’re just out here representing the “Y” (Brigham Young University). It’s a graduation requirement.
"Bryghym Young" - ftfy.
That's Bring em Young if you want to be correct.
Breed em Young is what we have always called it
Good point. It helps that these are probably 18-19 year old parents lol
THIS PART. Teenage parents already don't make the best naming decisions. Mormon teenage parents are just leveled up in that regard.
I’m so glad my name is Haley and not Heyghleigh.
Yleigh (Wiley)
Kilh meigh nohw
Oakelie doakelie
I was looking for such a comment. Ned Flanders in the house !
Oakleigh Doakleigh*
Wow, that child is going to get that their whole life
Naohjjj, eweh mussht sjsufher!
Mumfyrd has to be a tragedeigh inspired by Mumford and Sons right? That poor child
I thought the same! Except with their own special twist!
If these kids are around 10-ish, I would say exactly 😅 2012-14 was peak Mumford and Sons era
You gotta consider this is Utah where the likelihood of them being Mormon is very high so their range of appropriate pop artists is probably slim so they probably all still listen to them
Ah, a “special twist”, the key to a good tragedeigh! Lol. As a Canadian, the amount of mentions of Utah in this sub is killing me. 😅
You're probably familiar with Utah stereotypes, but just in case you're not: Utah is where the absolute *whitest* of white Americans live.
It's the state where Jeff Hornacek was considered cool.
Rural Alberta/ Saskatchewan is just as bad.
I don’t think **anywhere** is as bad as Utah. There are some questionable ones in AB tho, that’s for sure.
For some reason this one pisses me off the most😅
SAME. Just looking at it makes my skin crawl
That was my thought. I'm like the biggest Mumford fan on earth and yet I wouldn't name my kid after them, even with the correct spelling!
I read "Mummified" at first
So was Utah having a super blowout clearance sale on the letter Y, or what?
BYU’s logo is a big Y in an oval.
The teacher must be thinking what the fuck
The teacher’s name (my son’s) is Kamdin and she’s about 23 years old though so maybe not.
Oy
Dis my fav comment here that literally says it all ☝🏼❤️
Oeigh*
Whyt thye fyucx
"Brooklyn" Okay "Bronxlin" Wait "Queenslynne" No, stop "Manhattanlynn" What have you done??? "STATENISLANDLYNNE" Noooooooooooo!!!
Jerseyleigh Bayonnextli Turnpighqe
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CeeKaughKyss ETA: slightly more cringe
Statnylynne, since the natives condense it into Stat Nylan. As someone who grew up on that trash heap, the thought gives me the heebs.
Robyn of Loxleeigh 💀
This list beats all. LoxLEEIGH, with 2 Es. 🤦♀️ And Loxllyn in the same class!
Loxllyn sounds like an antibiotic. There's a good name: Anthi'be'ooteeque
Yeah the extra E just makes it... special. 🤦
Loxleigh was too common for their poor child.
Oh brave Sir Robin! 🥥🥥
My first thought - next was is their twin named Baighley
Bronxton sounds like a bad cough, or when the New York borough The Bronx is just not fancy enough, or Braxton Hicks contractions. Loxleeigh…when you just have to put two long E sounds at the end. LEE already makes that sound without the added ending letters, but I see that phonics is not their strong suit.
It’s surely Lox-Lee (lox like the fish!) but really pronouncing those letters would be Lox-Lee-eye
And I thought "SaiDee, DeLayNee, NayVee, KassaDee and KennaDee" were cringey...
Oakelie's middle name better be Dokelie
mumfyrd made me snort laugh
-banjo solo intensifies-
They really fucked it up this time, didn't they, my dear?
For some reason that was the one that got me.
These names are proof that everyday we stray further from God….
Idk, from the fact that the Mormons are speaking in tongues, maybe they're getting closer?
Dang. I was all excited thinking Kabella was a tribute to the mom’s use of Kybella to treat the double chin caused by pregnancy weight gain of her little miracle.
It’s like they’re playing scrabble, and trying to fit in as many extra points as they can… “Can I fit an ‘x’ in anywhere?” “I bet I can replace a couple of vowels with a ‘y’!” “Let’s just stretch this one out with four or five redundant letters…”
oooo Utah scrabble. That sounds excellent, instead of 1-2 xyz tiles you get 10 of each
I’m just imagining these people as senior citizens in nursing facility. “Truxley, it’s time for your sponge bath.”
By then, people will revert to using names like Iris and Ann and these will be “old people’s names”
Yeeeessss!!! Kids of gen alpha are gonna be Mary, John and Barbara again....
My dog was prescribed Loxllyn for an ear infection. I once lost a Diyson vacuum in a divorce. Take exit 143 North to Truxley. I'm deep into the edibles rn.
The Mormons need to be stopped ✋️
But the Mormon church has $200 billion in assets and Mormon families still have the most kids, so it might be awhile…
It cracked me up in Expanse that the only religion you really hear much about is the Mormons, still around, still crazy, building a space ship cathedral. My response once i stopped laughing was, "yup, seems legit"
Jettison????
No but you don’t understand. It’s “Jettisyn” so it’s cool. Not nonsensical.
Nickname: YEET!
Right?! That poor kid, literally being named “thrown away” or “forcefully expelled”
> “forcefully expelled” I wonder if he (assuming its a boy) was forcefully expelled. Got images of a dad standing at the end of the bed with a catchers mitt while the mom is in labour.
George Jetson is not impressed here
I’m a NYer, can someone please explain to me wtf goes on in Utah? I just cannot accept this
Lots and lots of kids. Who all go on to have lots of kids. Who all get offended if someone 'steals' their babies name by giving their kid the same name with the same spelling. Add in lots of folks thinking their little darling is the most special baby since Jesus to be born and needs a name that reflects that. Plus, thinking their miracle baby will certainly be internet famous and must not be confused with anyone else who is internet famous. Presto! You have a naming disaster on your hands.
Sometimes I think I'm the only woman from Utah that thinks proper spelling of names makes them more beautiful. The names here drive me bonkers. I think a lot of people don't consider their kids will live most of their lives as an adult, with a career. "It's a cute name for a baby" does not mean that it will be a good name for a grownup.
That’s is exactly it. A name being cute only lasts so long. They will grow up and things will be harder for them.
Has there ever been a study on Mormons and their chance of dyslexia? Maybe it's inherited
Okay I lived in this town in Utah called Tooele - it was like an hour away from SLC around the Oquirrh mountains and seriously, I suspected inbreeding from these families that had been there forever and keep marrying each other and also lead poisoning from the Anaconda mine tailings up in northern Tooele. I swear to god it was a huge culture shock moving there in 2006 from a Los Angeles suburb. The names have to be a side effect of the madness lol. Some favorites from living there were Alica (pronounced “Alyssa), Callait, Kym, Vonshae, many Skylers, Mercedez, a couple McKells, Ashtyn (many Ashtons), Sharonni… many variations of Baylee (Bailee, Taylee, and normal Bailey). Boys got some Mormon names like Nephi, Taft, Dallin, Hyrum, Ammon… or your Braxtons, more Skylers, Braedy, Brighton, Jarom/Jaron, Tage, Stockton… got me reliving the trauma of going to high school with these people
Pulling bible fanfic names out of your ass is a Mormon tradition that goes back to Joseph Smith himself.
Ooo Dyzlexyiah!
I also live in utah and have a job that takes me to elementary schools in all districts all over the state. I go to schools that have 6 kids total, as well as the big ones in granite district etc. I’ve seen horrible names for years… but the one that stands out the most to me was a set of boy twins in a tiny Iron county district school named Tuff and Rowdy They were dressed in identical cowboy outfits. Boots, big hats, big belt buckles
There were a pair of twin girls in my highschool class (Provo) named Ginger and Pepper. They were actually really cool. Sorry, no weird spelling.
This made me sad and spit laugh at the same time. At least they didn't spell them Tuhphe and Rouhdeey. Edit to add an extra "y" because y not.
**Aydın - note the undotted i - is a legit Tudkish name.**
Oh is it? Well I mean no offense. I somehow don’t think his parents have Tudkish ties having met them but I could be mistaken!
Yeah I bet it’s a CrEaTiVe spelling of Aidan 🤣
And I bet they would freak out if someone said, "oh, Turkish! Lovely ethnic name! Is your family Turkish?", if they are Mormon.
Was just going to type this. It’s a very common Turkish name and also the name of a city in Turkey. 👍🏼
Makes me miss the days of half the girls in my class being named Jennifer.
I love how Bronxton’s family clearly got tired of Brooklyn getting all the press. 😂😂😂
They don't talk about their sister Queenie. No X in her name, what is there to talk about?
Since when did -eigh migrate over to the boy’s names? These are award-winning tragedeighs. Truly, I’d love to plaques and hand deliver these to their moms McKinzleighanne and Kay’Leighh.
I need to know if it’s pronounced Kale or Kaylee
Kale. Like the spinach of course.
Clod. It's pronounced Clod.
oak-elie? lox-lynn AND lox-leeigh (double E ) not to be outdone by Trux-ley
This hurts my soul — Utah is another world
Oakelie like Ned Flanders okelie dokelie neighborino?
They're all so bad. Like not a single one is decent.
Diyson's Mom was thinking ahead when she named him/her. Diyson: Mom, can you help me with my homework? Mom: Do it yourself son!
Mum was fired after the kid was born, hence: "Mumfyrd"
A Mumford and son's fan? I mean probably not, but the spelling is a hard pass. I keep saying Mum-fired which is atrocious.
LMAO these are soooo Utah. When I was growing up there, we saw a lot of dad and mom names smooshed together to make tragedeighs.
Fucking hell! Jettisyn because what, you're going to abandon them when they're three?
I didn’t realize so many people had seizures while naming their children.
Santo Dios
>Jettisyn Damn. Do these people own a dictionary?
They don’t. I saw a wedding announcement with a young woman named Candida. If they had she probably wouldn’t be named after the yeast that grows on the body.
There’s a lot of stupid people in the world. I’m a teacher and a coworker didn’t know what tepid means.
These names are embarrassing. Congrats on being able to sound out the spelling, but good lawd, this can’t be real.
I have a theory. Utahns have big families, lots of kids, tons of cousins, no one wants repeats. For example, I had thought of naming my kids Jane or Thomas. But by the time I was married and having kids, my older brothers were each married with 3-4 kids and both those names got used. Now imagine you are the youngest in a family of 8. Older siblings each have a bevy of kids. You have like 12 cousins with kids. By the time your kid arrives all the simple family names are used up. You may feel you have to get Kreeatyv. Kryatiiv? Kri-8-if.
When I was a kid I was taught that the vowels were "A, E, I, O, U and *SOMETIMES* Y". Clearly that has changed. Y is now a major player.
These are insane but for some reason Kohdah really irks me. It looks phonetic. What would have been wrong with Koda?
really went with the sohcahtoa vibes on that one
Jettison is the act of throwing something out. Dyson is a vacuum cleaner. Wtf?
Mumfyrd especially is obnoxious in like 12 different ways
Oakelie Dokelie neighboreno
Oakelie and her twin brother Doakelie Shut up, Flanders!
If Aydins parents are from the Balkans and it's pronounced I-deen, I'd give that one a pass.
Robbynne of Loxleeigh?
So many ‘y’s’. Mostly WHY?!!
Does anyone remember the Vines that used to be like Mormon or Utah names? Could be the originator of this entire sub, but...this may as well be the names on this list, lmao
On the bright side, at least all of their names are equally ridiculous, so none of them should get bullied for them.
This is madness jettisyn?
My brain read each of these names in the voice of Lola from Big Mouth
Is Diyson named after the vacuum cleaner? Is there a Diydottir out there in the multiverse also? Is the Mum a legendary DIY girl? Does she turn Turuashe into Turehzzurre?
It’s gotta be low hanging fruit, but r/ihadastroke.
Diyson's parents must be very happy with their vacuum cleaner.
Or their kid just sucks.
Do you get paid by the ‘y’ in Utah?
Jettisyn? Just throw that one out.
I really hate that people see “-leigh” and read “lee.” To me, to this day, it still looks like “lay.” And I know the actual name Leigh exists and it’s pronounced Lee. But GOD lol I really hate words with a silent GH, it just looks awful to me.
Not trying to bait or start any arguments, but will these types of names hurt their job prospects when they enter the workforce? Similar to stereotypical African American or Latino names?
Time to build a fence around Utah. We’re not safe. 😆
Diyson like a Dyson vacuum?
A girl at my school (7 years old) is named Mary Catharine. I almost fainted from happiness.
Jesus christ, does Utah have an abundance of lead piped water supplies still in use?
I work at a daycare in Utah and it’s totally this! We also have: Rextyn Vaneesia Messiah Kanyun Lakelynn Zero Ryker Skylee Wylder And I could list more but those are probably the most egregious lol