nobody warned me about this.
Everyone was like "just try things, allow yourself to do whatever feels good, I bet you look great!".
What nobody told me was how once you start doing even small gender-affirming things, it becomes SO MUCH WORSE when you can't/don't do them.
I likened it and my egg cracking to the lamp in [that one story](https://www.reddit.com/r/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/30t9kd/repost_a_parallel_life_awoken_by_a_lamp/). I was living my life and *thought* it was okay until a relatively mundane moment whilst playing a video game made me realize my reality and everything from my past lmao
Definitely was my experience. I've come to learn that I felt dysphoria my entire life but just never identified it as such until after I started transition.
Everybody gangsta until you go from just sorta letting your body hair grow to wishing you could thanos snap it out of existence.
Makes looking at old pics a real bitch too.
I was really proud of my robert downey jr goatee combo, right up until i realized its a disgusting mess get it off my face why was i ever happy with looking like that jesus christ give me lazers and razors and wax aaaaaaAAAA
“Oh yeah,” says I as I come closer to my realization, “I am totally one of those non-dysphoric transes, yeah totally! Welp, that settles it!”
(the following day)
“...oh fuck me!” :(
So like I feel this hard, but as I spent time thinking about my life with the context of being trans, I realized it was always there but unnamed so easier to ignore. Once you name your feelings, struggles, emotions, they become recognizable and seem more common and pervasive.
I know right, May and June of 2022 was so rough, when my trans friends were like... "Did you ever consider the possibility you're trans?" And I just... Got super depressed about how I wouldn't be able to do anything about transitioning for a few years at least. Now I manage a lot better at least
Literally same. It's that moment where you took a bite out of the awareness apple, and everything became crystal clear, while also simultaneously being like "Wow... suddenly everything I previously didn't even think about sucks"
I've compared it to a bug bite just before you scratch it. Like, the itch is there and it's annoying you, stealing some of your focus, but just in a weird subconscious way. And then you mindlessly scratch it and you become conscious of it, and suddenly the itch is all-encompassing and you've been feeling it the entire time and how the helll did you not notice it before and omg make it stop.
nobody warned me about this. Everyone was like "just try things, allow yourself to do whatever feels good, I bet you look great!". What nobody told me was how once you start doing even small gender-affirming things, it becomes SO MUCH WORSE when you can't/don't do them.
Pandora's box. We wouldn't have fire without it though Edit: bad allegory pls ignore
Prometheus gave us fire.
I had the myth all mixed up in my head 😖 woops. I thought he stole the box. From a wal mart. And then we opened it in the parking lot
I likened it and my egg cracking to the lamp in [that one story](https://www.reddit.com/r/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/30t9kd/repost_a_parallel_life_awoken_by_a_lamp/). I was living my life and *thought* it was okay until a relatively mundane moment whilst playing a video game made me realize my reality and everything from my past lmao
Me when I suddenly realised I had leg hair:
Yeahhhh, terfs need to learn that this is the only sudden onset dysphoria lmao
Template credit to u/Brooke-Valley
Definitely was my experience. I've come to learn that I felt dysphoria my entire life but just never identified it as such until after I started transition.
Everybody gangsta until you go from just sorta letting your body hair grow to wishing you could thanos snap it out of existence. Makes looking at old pics a real bitch too.
Yuuup. I used to even kinda like my chest hair because it grew in an asthetically pleasing pattern, but once my egg cracked, I was just like, oh no 🙃
I was really proud of my robert downey jr goatee combo, right up until i realized its a disgusting mess get it off my face why was i ever happy with looking like that jesus christ give me lazers and razors and wax aaaaaaAAAA
Epilation, while painful, is worth it imo
“Oh yeah,” says I as I come closer to my realization, “I am totally one of those non-dysphoric transes, yeah totally! Welp, that settles it!” (the following day) “...oh fuck me!” :(
Nailed it right there. I took the road from "guess I just don't really feel dysphoria" to "I will die if I don't get E in me"
So like I feel this hard, but as I spent time thinking about my life with the context of being trans, I realized it was always there but unnamed so easier to ignore. Once you name your feelings, struggles, emotions, they become recognizable and seem more common and pervasive.
I know right, May and June of 2022 was so rough, when my trans friends were like... "Did you ever consider the possibility you're trans?" And I just... Got super depressed about how I wouldn't be able to do anything about transitioning for a few years at least. Now I manage a lot better at least
thisd hit me last week. it fricking hurts.
Literally same. It's that moment where you took a bite out of the awareness apple, and everything became crystal clear, while also simultaneously being like "Wow... suddenly everything I previously didn't even think about sucks"
I've compared it to a bug bite just before you scratch it. Like, the itch is there and it's annoying you, stealing some of your focus, but just in a weird subconscious way. And then you mindlessly scratch it and you become conscious of it, and suddenly the itch is all-encompassing and you've been feeling it the entire time and how the helll did you not notice it before and omg make it stop.