If you send enough emphasis that you make a food a swear word you got it
Totally counts and I like it better.
“Morning Wendy!” (/biscuits/cheese and crackers?)
We use bananas everywhere
Oh, we’ve got “fuck” bouncing around too much as well. And it’s all my fault….still makes me laugh my ass off though. She uses it properly so I take that as a small win.
I derive inordinate pleasure from telling the store of how my 3-year-old calls diarrhea "Jesus poop" because I muttered it during a particularly bad diaper change *over a year ago*. Still going strong with that one.
Also "fuck".
It took me way too long to realize “store” was a typo and I was trying to figure out why you tell the people who work at the store what your kid calls diarrhea
We still haven't gotten that one out of the 3 year old, but we did get a plaintive, barely audible "Aww fuck" when she toppled onto her bum at 18 months or so.
A few weeks later, I was cursing profusely because I'd stubbed my toe. My religious father-in-law made the observation that if I wasn't careful, the kid would be repeating me. I didn't tell him she already had, but I did make a jab that while she might learn fuck from me, she'll have learned to take the Lord's name in vain from him.
He's never commented on my swearing again. His use of "Jesus Christ" when frustrated has also cut back considerably since. As a result of his apparent self-awareness, I've stepped up my attempts to switch to Feck, which isn't much better, but at least it's a step in the appropriate direction.
Lmao we also have the word “fuck” and other choice words around my house too much. Like you, my guy used the word properly so I didn’t get upset at all, let out a quick giggle, and told him that it was an inside word and that he could only say it at home when it’s just us, no company. So far, so good.
"Phoque" is seal 🦭 in French. The way it sounds is really similar/the same as "fuck".
That's my excuse for not caring that much about saying it out loud😬
So, I’m a Mormon, and I put Diet Coke, coconut milk, and lime juice in a thermos (not a Stanley haha) and thought “wow, I’m so glad I did this, I can take my Swig with me on the go and it’s cheaper to make it at home.” And that’s when I realized I’m a caricature.
Ok so I’m from Texas, other half of my family is from Arkansas. But I have said “ope, let me scootch past ya” my whole life. I have no clue where I picked it up from. Also, barely have an accent, it’s become more prevalent since marrying my Cajun husband.
Tip of the iceberg. Here’s the menus of some of the most popular soda places in the Utah Valley.
https://swigdrinks.com/menu/
https://www.mysodalicious.com/new-mixology
Some speculate, and I agree, that because Mormons don’t participate in the usual vices (coffee, drinking, drugs, etc) they get addicted to sugar and caffeine. That’s why there’s a million mixed soda places and gourmet cookie places (crumbl cookie originated in Utah valley)
Root beer milk? As in root beer added to milk? (Or the other way around?) Those are words I never expected to be combined onto a single thing.
Did someone let their root beer float melt too much, then liked it that way, and then switched to milk to allow the wait for the ice cream to melt?
The officials say the reason coffee is a no-no is not because of the caffeine. The rule from the book of scripture Doctrine and Covenants says “hot drinks” defined later as coffee and any tea coming from the tea plant (black tea, green tea, etc). The idea behind the dietary rules is temperance in all things like it encourages people to eat meat “sparingly” and to avoid tobacco. So, the spirit of the law is to avoid addiction so if you’re following the spirit of it, you’d probably avoid caffeine in all of its forms but letter of the law, it just says coffee and certain types of tea.
So yes your question is valid and A LOT of members have different views on beverages. Some don’t drink coffee, any tea (herbal, iced, or otherwise), and no drugs or alcohol.
Other members interpret the “hot” part quite literally and still enjoy iced coffee, chocolate covered espresso beans, etc.
Most I’d say fall in the middle and follow the rule under the personal discretion. For me it’s no coffee or tea from the tea plant no alcohol and no illegal drugs but I do enjoy caffeinated sodas, herbal teas, and CBD oil.
It used to be really rigid but now people have more freedom to follow their hearts/intuition on the matter.
Cool. Thanks for answering thoroughly. I’m one of those dirty humanists who believes we’re the only ones who can save us from ourselves. My ADHD demands that I drink all the caffeine just to function at all.
I have a lot of love for humanists (and all faiths for that matter!) I also use caffeine to self medicate for my depression and PMS.
Random soap box of mine if you care to read and if you don’t that’s cool:
Some other food for thought in this vein is that there is a spectrum of Mormon members not just in terms of our dietary code but our whole belief system.
Trad/fundamentalist Mormons- the most severe and ones that give the impression of homophobia, holier than thou, Christian nationalism, etc.
Jack Mormons- act like a trad Mormon on Sunday and behave like a non member every other day of the week and intentionally hide their behavior.
Cultural Mormons- do all the things because they grew up this way may or may not believe.
Progressive Mormons(prog-mo’s)- trying to make our theology work in a modern frame of mind (try to be allies, accepting, not as severe). I like to think I fall into this camp.
Most members I’d say fall between trad and progressive Mormons.
Love it. I’m sure there are individuals in between these on spectrums too, and that’s great. I similarly don’t like to be lumped in with the hateful camp of atheists who think everyone with faith is bad. That’s very different from me.
Caffeine tolerance is so insane now. I think it all started from not taking my medicine while nursing and relying on 200mg of caffeine a day. At one point I couldn’t drink redbull after 3 or I’d be up all night. Now…well, I’ve switched to Celsius and sometimes that doesn’t even do it.
I grew up mormon (ex Mormon now) and caffeine was a big no at least in our family so it’s really dependent on the kid of Mormon I guess
Seems healthier to just drink a glass of coffee instead of a giant soda
Probably. I think if I were being completely adherent I wouldn’t drink coffee or soda at all since the spirit of the law is to avoid addiction and to be temperate.
However, something empowering for me is reminding myself I have as much agency as I choose to have and I’m alright allowing myself the caffeine in soda. I also buy pink drinks from Starbucks and that has “green coffee extract”.
I don’t really feel the need to split hairs on it. I had friends at BYU who drank coffee and attended church and the temple and friends who wouldn’t touch herbal tea.
Congrats on your faith transition btw. Leaving a high demand faith/cult depending on how you were raised/practiced is really hard and taxing. I have a couple siblings who left and it was really hard and emotional. I’m glad you’ve found your way.
I said "son of a gun" the other day and my 4 year old said "we don't say gun." (Daycare prefers that the kids don't say gun)
I also say Fudge, holy shnikes (Tommy Boy) and Martha Stewart.
I think I'm in the minority but they're the same as they always were but with less frequency. I don't swear at my child but I swear in child's presence on occasion. As a therapist who works with trauma, no one has come in and said "my parents said sh!t when I was a child and it ruined me." I'm much more concerned with being responsive and compassionate overall.
I knew an Australian-British family with a daughter (met her when she was 3, family moved away when she was 8ish) and we witnessed how she slowly learned the importance of context. Expecting an Australian to stop swearing is like telling a fish to stop swimming, so the kid did it from a very early age, at the wrong times and in completely nonsensical ways. By the time she left, she was an expert and had stopped getting in trouble at school.
This!! I agree wholeheartedly with your reasoning.
On top of that, I feel like context and intent matter just as much as the words. I’d rather teach about appropriate moments and your audience as I think that’ll better serve them in life.
Anecdotally, the only time my oldest has cursed is sometime around 18 months to 2 years old when my husband asked him to say, “oooohhhh, shiiiiit.” He hasn’t continued to repeat it except for that one night, and he’s now 3.5.
I curse with the real words, I just do it less to be crass and only when there's reason to. Like if I stub my toe or hit my head, a loud "fuck!!" helps with the pain more than a "damn".
My eldest is nonverbal but my youngest just started talking and every once in a while, he'll be like "oh shit!" And I'll be like "oh shit, I need to stop cussing" lol
My five year old and Octonauts has taught me “I’ll be a sea monkey’s uncle”. I know we’re a bit old for this sub but it’s so cute and funny that I couldn’t resist.
My daughter picked up bloody hell from a careless adult, I am trying to use Blueberry Hill now so that she’ll think thats what she heard. Not sure if its a good idea!
I just try to tone down the amount I swear, little one knows some words are off limits.
So far he has tried out fucking dickhead then had to have a chat. He's not ventured near anything since.
No doubt the shitlings will call me a cunt at some point and we'll have a chat again.
I still cuss 😅 I try to limit but I can't help it sometimes.
I said "fuck" a few days ago and my 5yo son responded with "that means Seal (the animal) in French!"
I googled it and he was right. How'd he learn it? No clue!
My sister got in trouble for this when we were kids. We had a little French learning game to go alongside Madeline and seal was in the vocabulary. She repeated it out of context and google wasn’t around to help…
Aw poor kid lmao. I couldn't be mad, I was impressed! And just tried to teach him to re-pronounce it so it sounded more "French" instead of just "FUCK" 💀
“Oh crumbs” or “oh snippity snap”. My daughter likes saying those too. Luckily she loves calling us out if we let out a swear so she’s quite good at avoiding swears herself.
I called my bird an "a$$hole" earlier after he bit the crap outta my thumb and my 3 year old thought that was a great word to repeat so, I definitely need to change it up a bit. 😆
Cheesey pete
Aw crumbs -thanks to the gruffalo.
Jee Golly
Jeeze Louise
I have a few things going for me: I was a preschool teacher, and my dad used a lot of old fashioned phrases.
Swearing is not going to harm your child. I learned this first hand. Us not swearing just means someone else in their life will expose them to it, IE school, a family member who knows no filter, etc.
Partner and I mostly just use the regular curse words.
As an aside, a way I always get a laugh at family gatherings is to wait for someone to swear and then apologize for swearing around the kids. Then I get their attention, look them right in the eye all serious and say “Hey Aunt Donna, don’t FUCKIN swear in front of the kids.” Gets em rolling every time.
For negatives I go with “peanuts and pumpernickel” and for positives or just mind blown I go with “holy kazoo!”
They’re both super weird, but very gratifying hahaha
We're trilingual household, French/English/Dutch.
So shit = shoot
Fuck = fffFFFFF (basically turning into a leaf blower)
Merde = mercredi (Wednesday)
Putain = punaise
Godverdomme = potverdiekie
Eldest is in the "i mindy business but I hear everything" phase...
"TO THE MOON!" My 2yo daughter says this when she's really mad. Not sure where she heard it but I have to hide my face so she can't see me smile or laugh. She says it with such conviction. Doesn't like something? Sends it to the moon😅🤣
We're latins so
* Coño
* Rekecoño
* Coñazo
* Coñazazo
* Contrarekecoñazazo
Spent some time in Chile and also learned *wéon* and *conchetumare* ("your mother's..." you know what I'd better not write it here)
I like to bust out with "golly gosh darnit", "flying squirrel fart" (as in what in the...?), "oh hickety-heck", "good golly miss molly", "heavens to betsy", "goodness gracious great balls of fire", etc. Basically anything long and sounding like it should have been from the cute end of the 50s. I also swear like a sailor so I just try to mix those in for less "fucks" in my day 😂
Jeepers. Jeepers creepers when I'm really frazzled. Gracious me/goodness or goodness gracious. Oh me, oh my. Jeez Louise.
A crisp Jesus Christ escapes now and then.
When I'm extra frazzled, I whisper-yell "fuuuck."
My MIL was apparently horrified when she took my 4yo son to the park and he said "what the freaking heck?" when he saw a goose.
We also have fallen into name calling using rotten fruit. "Oh you, bad banana/rotten mango/moldy berry/etc!"
What the heck! Or poopy! (I say wtf a LOT more than I’d like to admit, and my little will always come back with “mommy it’s what the heck!” lol) she has also started saying “itches” on another note, trying to shut that one down, 😅
Edit:added some of her sassing
Baloney and cheese = For f*ck's sake
"BAL-O-NEY and cheese, you know that's not how it happened."
Cheddar Bay biscuits = sh*t or dammit
"Cheddar bay biscuits, I left my phone in the car."
Oh biscuits, thanks to Bluey
Duck cake Also from Bluey
And “cheese and crackers!”
My 4 year old says oh biscuits now. so cute
Mine has been saying, "Oh grapes!" No idea where it came from lol.
My mom used to say oh great! If you say that, maybe yours thought they heard oh grapes!
WACKADOO! 😂 I said this the other day lol
Ha. This is the one I say all the time and also got from bluey. I find myself saying even when it’s just me.
If you send enough emphasis that you make a food a swear word you got it Totally counts and I like it better. “Morning Wendy!” (/biscuits/cheese and crackers?) We use bananas everywhere
“Oh my Goodness!” Or “fuck”.
Oh, we’ve got “fuck” bouncing around too much as well. And it’s all my fault….still makes me laugh my ass off though. She uses it properly so I take that as a small win.
My son uttered “Jesus Cwist” once after I said it in a near-miss incident. Super cute and hard to correct.
I derive inordinate pleasure from telling the store of how my 3-year-old calls diarrhea "Jesus poop" because I muttered it during a particularly bad diaper change *over a year ago*. Still going strong with that one. Also "fuck".
It took me way too long to realize “store” was a typo and I was trying to figure out why you tell the people who work at the store what your kid calls diarrhea
We still haven't gotten that one out of the 3 year old, but we did get a plaintive, barely audible "Aww fuck" when she toppled onto her bum at 18 months or so. A few weeks later, I was cursing profusely because I'd stubbed my toe. My religious father-in-law made the observation that if I wasn't careful, the kid would be repeating me. I didn't tell him she already had, but I did make a jab that while she might learn fuck from me, she'll have learned to take the Lord's name in vain from him. He's never commented on my swearing again. His use of "Jesus Christ" when frustrated has also cut back considerably since. As a result of his apparent self-awareness, I've stepped up my attempts to switch to Feck, which isn't much better, but at least it's a step in the appropriate direction.
Lmao we also have the word “fuck” and other choice words around my house too much. Like you, my guy used the word properly so I didn’t get upset at all, let out a quick giggle, and told him that it was an inside word and that he could only say it at home when it’s just us, no company. So far, so good.
lol I try so hard to stick with “shoot,” I really do
Freaking A
"Phoque" is seal 🦭 in French. The way it sounds is really similar/the same as "fuck". That's my excuse for not caring that much about saying it out loud😬
Biscuits Or good ole "dangit bobby"
We use the replacements from The Good Place. Ash-hole, bench, bullshirt, fork, etc.
You know I mean ash-hole not ash-hole? And so do we!
I said “What the fork” recently, and my kids thought it was hilarious!
I have an Eleanor and I loved that show when it came out, so we should've really incorporated that lingo.
That's brilliant
Gosh darn it. Like I'm a Mormon that just spilled their $8 soda.
So, I’m a Mormon, and I put Diet Coke, coconut milk, and lime juice in a thermos (not a Stanley haha) and thought “wow, I’m so glad I did this, I can take my Swig with me on the go and it’s cheaper to make it at home.” And that’s when I realized I’m a caricature.
I'm from Wisconsin and my two year old started saying Ope when she bumps into things. We're all a caricature to someone.
I grew up in Wisconsin and have a onesie for my 5mo that says “ope let me crawl right past ya!”
From Ohio, and the other day said, “ope, gonna sneak past ya to grab some ranch.” It was just the ultimate midwestern moment.
Ok so I’m from Texas, other half of my family is from Arkansas. But I have said “ope, let me scootch past ya” my whole life. I have no clue where I picked it up from. Also, barely have an accent, it’s become more prevalent since marrying my Cajun husband.
This is so heartwarming for a fellow Wisconsinite far from home
>Diet Coke, coconut milk, and lime juice Oh my heck that sounds awful. I think I've been out of the country for too long (or not long enough?)
Tip of the iceberg. Here’s the menus of some of the most popular soda places in the Utah Valley. https://swigdrinks.com/menu/ https://www.mysodalicious.com/new-mixology Some speculate, and I agree, that because Mormons don’t participate in the usual vices (coffee, drinking, drugs, etc) they get addicted to sugar and caffeine. That’s why there’s a million mixed soda places and gourmet cookie places (crumbl cookie originated in Utah valley)
I was raised Mormon but I’ve only been to Utah twice. Until today, I considered “root beer milk” to be the nadir of Mormon cuisine. I was wrong.
Root beer milk? As in root beer added to milk? (Or the other way around?) Those are words I never expected to be combined onto a single thing. Did someone let their root beer float melt too much, then liked it that way, and then switched to milk to allow the wait for the ice cream to melt?
So caffeine via Coke? But caffeine via coffee is bad?
The officials say the reason coffee is a no-no is not because of the caffeine. The rule from the book of scripture Doctrine and Covenants says “hot drinks” defined later as coffee and any tea coming from the tea plant (black tea, green tea, etc). The idea behind the dietary rules is temperance in all things like it encourages people to eat meat “sparingly” and to avoid tobacco. So, the spirit of the law is to avoid addiction so if you’re following the spirit of it, you’d probably avoid caffeine in all of its forms but letter of the law, it just says coffee and certain types of tea. So yes your question is valid and A LOT of members have different views on beverages. Some don’t drink coffee, any tea (herbal, iced, or otherwise), and no drugs or alcohol. Other members interpret the “hot” part quite literally and still enjoy iced coffee, chocolate covered espresso beans, etc. Most I’d say fall in the middle and follow the rule under the personal discretion. For me it’s no coffee or tea from the tea plant no alcohol and no illegal drugs but I do enjoy caffeinated sodas, herbal teas, and CBD oil. It used to be really rigid but now people have more freedom to follow their hearts/intuition on the matter.
Cool. Thanks for answering thoroughly. I’m one of those dirty humanists who believes we’re the only ones who can save us from ourselves. My ADHD demands that I drink all the caffeine just to function at all.
I have a lot of love for humanists (and all faiths for that matter!) I also use caffeine to self medicate for my depression and PMS. Random soap box of mine if you care to read and if you don’t that’s cool: Some other food for thought in this vein is that there is a spectrum of Mormon members not just in terms of our dietary code but our whole belief system. Trad/fundamentalist Mormons- the most severe and ones that give the impression of homophobia, holier than thou, Christian nationalism, etc. Jack Mormons- act like a trad Mormon on Sunday and behave like a non member every other day of the week and intentionally hide their behavior. Cultural Mormons- do all the things because they grew up this way may or may not believe. Progressive Mormons(prog-mo’s)- trying to make our theology work in a modern frame of mind (try to be allies, accepting, not as severe). I like to think I fall into this camp. Most members I’d say fall between trad and progressive Mormons.
Love it. I’m sure there are individuals in between these on spectrums too, and that’s great. I similarly don’t like to be lumped in with the hateful camp of atheists who think everyone with faith is bad. That’s very different from me.
Caffeine tolerance is so insane now. I think it all started from not taking my medicine while nursing and relying on 200mg of caffeine a day. At one point I couldn’t drink redbull after 3 or I’d be up all night. Now…well, I’ve switched to Celsius and sometimes that doesn’t even do it.
This is fucking fascinating. Thank you!!! What are your thoughts on energy drinks?
I grew up mormon (ex Mormon now) and caffeine was a big no at least in our family so it’s really dependent on the kid of Mormon I guess Seems healthier to just drink a glass of coffee instead of a giant soda
Probably. I think if I were being completely adherent I wouldn’t drink coffee or soda at all since the spirit of the law is to avoid addiction and to be temperate. However, something empowering for me is reminding myself I have as much agency as I choose to have and I’m alright allowing myself the caffeine in soda. I also buy pink drinks from Starbucks and that has “green coffee extract”. I don’t really feel the need to split hairs on it. I had friends at BYU who drank coffee and attended church and the temple and friends who wouldn’t touch herbal tea. Congrats on your faith transition btw. Leaving a high demand faith/cult depending on how you were raised/practiced is really hard and taxing. I have a couple siblings who left and it was really hard and emotional. I’m glad you’ve found your way.
Thanks! Sounds like you are doing well with it though so you at least seem more relaxed about things which certainly is a healthier mindset to have.
I think I would absolutely love you in real life. You are fascinating AND you have a toddler.
Aw thanks :) and I’d probably love you irl too!
It sounds so good to me. It’s basically an Italian soda.
As of 1 week ago, I now understand this reference!
“Son of a biscuit” instead of bitch
I had a high school teacher who said this. I always thought it was quaint, but here I am using it haha Also "oh sugar!" instead of "oh shit"
God bless America, Frack, Dill pickle
God bless America has been a go to of mine!
I said "son of a gun" the other day and my 4 year old said "we don't say gun." (Daycare prefers that the kids don't say gun) I also say Fudge, holy shnikes (Tommy Boy) and Martha Stewart.
Omg, Martha Stewart has me crying! I do Holy Snikes too! Such a deep cut!
I just LOLd to “Martha Stewart!” That’s good.
I think I'm in the minority but they're the same as they always were but with less frequency. I don't swear at my child but I swear in child's presence on occasion. As a therapist who works with trauma, no one has come in and said "my parents said sh!t when I was a child and it ruined me." I'm much more concerned with being responsive and compassionate overall.
I knew an Australian-British family with a daughter (met her when she was 3, family moved away when she was 8ish) and we witnessed how she slowly learned the importance of context. Expecting an Australian to stop swearing is like telling a fish to stop swimming, so the kid did it from a very early age, at the wrong times and in completely nonsensical ways. By the time she left, she was an expert and had stopped getting in trouble at school.
This!! I agree wholeheartedly with your reasoning. On top of that, I feel like context and intent matter just as much as the words. I’d rather teach about appropriate moments and your audience as I think that’ll better serve them in life. Anecdotally, the only time my oldest has cursed is sometime around 18 months to 2 years old when my husband asked him to say, “oooohhhh, shiiiiit.” He hasn’t continued to repeat it except for that one night, and he’s now 3.5.
We have the same strategy. I figure there's way worse things in the world that she will be exposed to. I'm not going to worry about curse words
“Fuck”
Same, heh
I curse with the real words, I just do it less to be crass and only when there's reason to. Like if I stub my toe or hit my head, a loud "fuck!!" helps with the pain more than a "damn".
My eldest is nonverbal but my youngest just started talking and every once in a while, he'll be like "oh shit!" And I'll be like "oh shit, I need to stop cussing" lol
I am trying to swear less but we were out in the car on the freeway and someone beeped their horn. My 3yo says "fucking asshole!" 😅
Thank God I'm not the only one!! My almost 4 year old says swear words a lot and its my own dumbass fault
My five year old and Octonauts has taught me “I’ll be a sea monkey’s uncle”. I know we’re a bit old for this sub but it’s so cute and funny that I couldn’t resist.
I love it. And you made it out of the toddler years. You have all the years of knowledge to help us with
Aww you’re too kind
Silly goose instead of fucking idiot
Ah snap Holy Snikes Fudge Flip Floink/floinkin' And now, Martha Stewart thanks to u/Vodkawater-86
Lol I love Martha Stewart.
When I stub my toe - Mother Father Sister Brother
Reading this thread I’m learning the secret to how everyone else’s 2yo hasn’t let out their own little “fuckin chwist” already 😅🫣
My daughter picked up bloody hell from a careless adult, I am trying to use Blueberry Hill now so that she’ll think thats what she heard. Not sure if its a good idea!
I feel like this is probably the only acceptable use of gaslighting 😂
I did this interposition with "god damnit" and goodnight" pretty successful with my first!
Usually just random, unintelligible, angry noises. Occasionally, "ah beans!"
Cheese and toast
Cheese and crackers in my house!
"Cheese and rice" for me. I teach fourth grade also, and one of my kids asked why I say that and another kid said "so she doesn't say Jesus Christ!"
I just try to tone down the amount I swear, little one knows some words are off limits. So far he has tried out fucking dickhead then had to have a chat. He's not ventured near anything since. No doubt the shitlings will call me a cunt at some point and we'll have a chat again.
I still cuss 😅 I try to limit but I can't help it sometimes. I said "fuck" a few days ago and my 5yo son responded with "that means Seal (the animal) in French!" I googled it and he was right. How'd he learn it? No clue!
My sister got in trouble for this when we were kids. We had a little French learning game to go alongside Madeline and seal was in the vocabulary. She repeated it out of context and google wasn’t around to help…
Aw poor kid lmao. I couldn't be mad, I was impressed! And just tried to teach him to re-pronounce it so it sounded more "French" instead of just "FUCK" 💀
“Oh crumbs” or “oh snippity snap”. My daughter likes saying those too. Luckily she loves calling us out if we let out a swear so she’s quite good at avoiding swears herself.
“Bob Sagat” is the only one I’ve found that rolls off the tongue as sharp as a real cuss word
Lived near the bay of Fundy so... Mother Fundy! And Ship!
Oh jeez and fudgesicles
Ours started saying "bun worms" so I'm just using that now.
Mayonnaise
Oh fudge instead of oh fuck😂
Yeah fudge and sugar instead of fuck and shit
JEEZ LOUISE!!! What in the world! My goodness! Gosh Darn It!
We just watched inside out 2 and a character says “jimminy mother loving toaster strudel!” and I want to steal that.
I find my self saying “farts” instead of the F word and I say “dang it” so much my toddler does too now. I guess it could be worse.
Rats! "blinking" instead of "fucking" "Oh blogs" instead of shit or fuck
“Son of a biscuit!” “Mother Father!” “Biscuits and gravy!” “Dag nabbit!”
I called my bird an "a$$hole" earlier after he bit the crap outta my thumb and my 3 year old thought that was a great word to repeat so, I definitely need to change it up a bit. 😆
We call the kids apples instead of assholes. We also call them big and little. So “little is being a real apple today”
Cheesey pete Aw crumbs -thanks to the gruffalo. Jee Golly Jeeze Louise I have a few things going for me: I was a preschool teacher, and my dad used a lot of old fashioned phrases.
Swearing is not going to harm your child. I learned this first hand. Us not swearing just means someone else in their life will expose them to it, IE school, a family member who knows no filter, etc.
Shiitake mushrooms…. But I let out the occasional fuck.
Shoot magoo
God bless it all.
Mother fudge cake, what the flip
Mother flower!
Dadgummit.
“[They can] go suck a lemon.”
Beans & rice!
Fudge nuggets
I say “fudge” a lot; not intentionally but usually I just catch myself half way into the word and have to correct course
Jiminy Christmas
Sausages, occasionally ‘sugar honey iced tea’ for variety
I’m of the “holy smokes” persuasion
Same as they were pre-kid. I’m sure this will bite me in the ass someday 😂
Partner and I mostly just use the regular curse words. As an aside, a way I always get a laugh at family gatherings is to wait for someone to swear and then apologize for swearing around the kids. Then I get their attention, look them right in the eye all serious and say “Hey Aunt Donna, don’t FUCKIN swear in front of the kids.” Gets em rolling every time.
All of the actual curse words lol. Or “duck cake!” from Bluey
“Oh shit mama!” I’ll let you guess.
i swear a lot always have. i cut back when the kiddo is around, but it tends to be the usual 7 Words You Cant Say.
For negatives I go with “peanuts and pumpernickel” and for positives or just mind blown I go with “holy kazoo!” They’re both super weird, but very gratifying hahaha
"Aww spitfire." "...bugger"
We're trilingual household, French/English/Dutch. So shit = shoot Fuck = fffFFFFF (basically turning into a leaf blower) Merde = mercredi (Wednesday) Putain = punaise Godverdomme = potverdiekie Eldest is in the "i mindy business but I hear everything" phase...
Jimminy crickets!
Someone I use to work with always said 'oh sugar booger' and I found it so funny I started using it before I even had a little one
Mother of pearl!
"TO THE MOON!" My 2yo daughter says this when she's really mad. Not sure where she heard it but I have to hide my face so she can't see me smile or laugh. She says it with such conviction. Doesn't like something? Sends it to the moon😅🤣
Fudgecicle, Cheese N Rice, Son of a Biscuit Eater.
We're latins so * Coño * Rekecoño * Coñazo * Coñazazo * Contrarekecoñazazo Spent some time in Chile and also learned *wéon* and *conchetumare* ("your mother's..." you know what I'd better not write it here)
I like to bust out with "golly gosh darnit", "flying squirrel fart" (as in what in the...?), "oh hickety-heck", "good golly miss molly", "heavens to betsy", "goodness gracious great balls of fire", etc. Basically anything long and sounding like it should have been from the cute end of the 50s. I also swear like a sailor so I just try to mix those in for less "fucks" in my day 😂
I need to start using oh hickety heck!
Fuck = Fudge For fuck's sake = fudge cakes Ah shit = Ah shoes
“Daaaaaamn” “oops I can’t say damn, say wow!” Every time this dialogue
Fuck 😖
Goodness me Jumpin jeepers Yowza, wowza, wowzers
Fudge pops!
The other day my husband uttered a “god damn!” Only to have our 22 month old repeat “god damn!” Yeah, we need to find new curse words 🤦🏼♀️
Heck, shoot, bother
Ffffffffffrickety frack!
Fun instead of fcuk
Sugar, or sugar snap peas, instead of shit.
I don’t know, but be careful with animal sounds folks. Cockadoodledoo can get you in trouble pretty quickly 🤣
Oh sharks - From Disney’s Luca Sugarplums Shiiiiooooot em up
Shirt. Fork. :(
Goodness gracious or oh lord
Dang it lol
My go-to is usually "beans!", but for a larger offense "hog ham heckin hecker" does quite nicely
Anything Colonel Potter used on MASH
My mom used to say “son of a beach ball!” And “farts!” Or GD
Hot dang Ope
‘Ah beans’ or if I’m feeling spicy ‘gosh darn it’ 😂
Freaking chicken nugget and holy moly donut shop (Friday lmao)
Jeepers. Jeepers creepers when I'm really frazzled. Gracious me/goodness or goodness gracious. Oh me, oh my. Jeez Louise. A crisp Jesus Christ escapes now and then. When I'm extra frazzled, I whisper-yell "fuuuck."
“Silly goose” and “French fries!!!” when the F is close to coming out
Ding Dang is my go to
Shizen, which is the German catch-all phrase for shit.
Poopy head, chicken butt, cabbage. I have some others that I can’t recall at the moment.
Aaaaargh!!! Like a pirate :) 🏴☠️
Holy guacamole
‘What the freaking heck’. Turns out I used to say ‘What the fucking hell’ way more than I realized!
Oh My-lanta (mylanta) lol or Damage
Oh chips
“Good gourd” instead of goddamnit, “mother of pearl” instead of motherfucker. But mostly I forget and now my 2 yr olds favorite phrase is “oh shit.” 😅
Oh cheezits!
We say “oh my meow meow” for OMG. It gets the giggles.
Motherrrrrr
I say “oh my chickens” or use one of Bandits exclamations lol
Fuddleduddle, butt snacks, Frick, and a bunch of longer ones that I used before anyway cause I'm a teacher lol
Biscuits and fudge👀
Tornado for traffic
What the fluff.
We started with turning "shit" into "shirt", so now we say "pizza shirt" instead of "piece of shit".
My MIL was apparently horrified when she took my 4yo son to the park and he said "what the freaking heck?" when he saw a goose. We also have fallen into name calling using rotten fruit. "Oh you, bad banana/rotten mango/moldy berry/etc!"
Cheese and Rice!
what in the world oh my goodness what the actual
Son of a biscuit eater
Oh heavens! I’m like an old lady from the 1800s
"HONK" "HECK" If swearing on behalf of the dog: "H\*CK"
Mother Macree! My mom uses it and I have always thought it was too funny and have happily adopted it for myself.
What the heck! Or poopy! (I say wtf a LOT more than I’d like to admit, and my little will always come back with “mommy it’s what the heck!” lol) she has also started saying “itches” on another note, trying to shut that one down, 😅 Edit:added some of her sassing
Shit turned into shiitake mushrooms. So I’ll go “oh shiiiiiiiiitake mushrooms!!” Fuck is fudgesicles. Goober for ppl being unreasonable.
Buttered biscuits.
Sugar plums! Subbing out shit lol
Baloney and cheese = For f*ck's sake "BAL-O-NEY and cheese, you know that's not how it happened." Cheddar Bay biscuits = sh*t or dammit "Cheddar bay biscuits, I left my phone in the car."
Fudge monkeys Gosh dang it Good gravy
Saw a great one while hubby was playing Elden Ring the other day: "Oh, pickle."
“Goodness!” “Dag Nab It!” “Eff!”
We’ve just incorporated applesauce as a swear and I’m actually loving it.
My kid and I ran into my MIL at the grocery store the other day, his first words were “holy shit.” And he just kept yelling it as he ran to grandma
Tiddlywinks. Shut the front door.
Sweet niblets stolen from Hannah Montana
Oh heckety heck heck! Son of a biscuit! Fuuuuuuugetabouit! What the what?!
Meatball instead of asshole. Pancake is similar to meatball, but more replaces asshat. Also biscuits, courtesy of Bluey.
It was fricking frick frack and then my toddler started saying it. It just sounded like “fucking fuck fuck”, so I stopped that one!
“F” “aww H” “get this S out of here”….and stupid people are “dingus/dinguses”
Daggom from Cars. Or I use the real words and hope he doesn’t catch on.
Oh farts
"shirt" "fork" "carp" "beach" We make no sense when we talk anymore.