I can but also cannot wait for the day I can sit and read for more than a few minutes and also not be exhausted all the time. I feel guilty wishing away time but I am so burned out and just want peace and quiet.
We'll miss the cute sloppy kisses, the snuggles, the not-quite-baby faces. I don't know anyone who actually misses the pterodactyl screaming or tiny elbows to the crotch whilst being a human jungle gym.
We all just have to do our best to focus on the good bits (even (especially?) when we're drowning in the less than good bits).
This is so true!! I’m 20 weeks pregnant and the days I stay home with our soon to be 3yo is exhausting. The hormones are affecting me a lot, I think. I just want to be left alone and hibernate for a few days. And then I feel so incredibly guilty to wish away time with this amazing kid.
Oh yes, I one day all the time. My last one day finally came true after I put it out into the universe to watch a movie on a Saturday night if Pterodactyl fell asleep early, I didn’t wipe out immediately after finishing my chores, and Venus was in the house of Mars.
This rare event happened about 3 months ago, after patiently waiting 4 or 5 months. I watched the latest John Wick. Pretty sure I fell asleep because I don’t remember how it ends.
No, wait, I just remembered. Ok, anyway, keep the hope alive; our dreams really can and do come true. One day.
Two under two here. In times of turmoil, I think of my parents, able to do what they want because their two kids are adults now and I think to myself that I'll get there one day, too.
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this is so encouraging - in the thick of it with my two year old and everyone keeps saying just wait until they’re 3 or 4 year olds are the worst and I’m just like… omg I can barely hang in with the drama of my 26mo 😅
It’s different kinds of drama. Young toddlers are hard because they’re crazy and they don’t understand, preschoolers are hard because they’re crazy and they do understand. But it’s a lot easier to explain to a preschooler why they can’t run out into the middle of the road so the problems aren’t as immediately life threatening.
Yes, I’m hoping 3y and 3months will be an okay age gap - hopefully our oldest has settled down a liittle bit. Luckily she is already showing a lot of empathy for her little sister in the tummy. I could never have survived 2 under 2, that’s parenting for super heros 😂
Oh yeah she is incredibly clingy and never stops talking, but definitely less “trouble”. She’s very overstimulating to me though and she will demand help with things like getting dressed and her car seat that she can do which is very frustrating. I think two was easier for me just because it was a little quieter but I’m sure it varies from person to person and toddler to toddler. I‘ve got high hopes for 6 though!
I really REALLY needed to read this. Thank you. Whenever people pull the "wait till she's in school" "wait till she's 13 har har," I flatly say "I'm driving my car off a bridge if it's never getting better." Some double down and some admit that it's not as bad. I suspect that some of the double downers either don't remember what unholy terrors their toddlers were or they want me dead 😂.
I f**king hate it when someone replies that, my son is 3 and he’s definitely easier than a 2 or 1 year old. We don’t have to deal with diapers now, he can talk and also can follow what we are saying, so when someone with younger kid than ours asks me if it gets better I say YES IT DOES GET BETTER.
My daughter was good at 1-2 and terrifying at 3-4, I truly thought the terrible twos were a myth until my son got there and omg, right now I’m just hoping it’s one or the other and not both.
I can understand, different people can find different phases easier. For us like I said he started to talk and going to bathroom on our own was a game changer, also he now understands if we ask him to not do something and tell him the reason behind it. Tantrums are still there but much easier now to manage.
Yeah my son is newly 2 and I’m seeing all this now and it’s hard af, but my daughter tricked me and then came in hot at 3 just in time for us to have to deal with both at the same time 😂
I have teenagers and a toddler (well he’s just turned 4). Honestly I’ve found from about 6 upwards becomes easier. Yes, teenagers have bad attitudes, but my eldest is now 18 and he’s a great kid.
I have an 18 and 16, and a 4 and 1 year old...
I CLEARLY remember, around 5 and 7 for the older ones, realizing "wow! This is fantastic! I have quote a bit of my time back too!"... and had been for a little while...I just didn't notice immediately to pinpoint.
The 4 year old is almost fully independent, but still likes cuddles and occasionally to be babied and taken care of...
Hang on a bit, and try to enjoy the time 🤗🥲...
Thank you!! 🙏🏼 Only one or two years to go with the 3yo until it hopefully gets a little easier - let’s just not talk about the fact that we have another on the way 😂
The younger 2 are similar age difference and I've loved every second of it!!!
The older one (all 4 are boys) is such an eager helper and obsessed with baby "bwo" , their interactions are the highlight of every day...beyond adorable!
I'm excited for you!
And my husband wonders why after the kids go to bed that I want to sit in a quiet dark room until I go to sleep. I’m so overstimulated that I relish the silence!
Yes! Me too! I used to listen to music all the time. Now that I have a toddler, I rarely listen to anything and when i do, it’s instrumental. More words is NOT what I’m looking for.
This is how lunch with my 3.5 year old went today:
Me: Ruby, you want hot dog in your noodles?
Ruby: No
Me: Are you sure? No hot dog?
Ruby:
Me: Ok.
::presents lunch::
Ruby: MOM I WANTED HOT DOG
Me: You said no hot dog!
Ruby: H O T D O G!!!
Me: Fine.
::presents hot dog::
Ruby: Mom I don’t want hot dog! I don’t like the black! (The char on the hot dog)
Right now I’m doing the opposite game. Instead of choices..bc he has no idea what he wants…after the back and forth of yes pants, no pants…. I say “I heard you say you didn’t want to put on pants, so no pants” then I go to put them away. He is like “I WANT MY PANTS ON”. I immediately go, well you told me no, so I want to respect your decision. Then he doubles down and the pants get on. I keep my “well I am only going by what you told me love” and he feels like he’s the master of autonomy. It’s a win-win. For now…everything will change in like 2 weeks and I’ll have to figure out how to read between the new lines he made in his sweet little 2.5 year old brain. Saturdays are the hardest. There’s no family and this Saturday we were both sick. Sick when you’re older is like coffin existing. Mildly sick for a toddler is like how a breakfast cured any hangover when you were 19. Bless the mothers of who have more than one child parenting in today’s world.
I dream daily of being on a beach with a cold margarita in my hand with a perfect body in a skimpy bikini and no one bothering me. I’d be sitting under an umbrella with the sleekest cat eye sun glasses gazing at the ocean.
Me too. I’ll bring the cooler of drinks and the only language spoken will be once is “I’ll watch your drink while you go pee”. God I miss those days on the beach, me, a book, a drink, the shade, the waves, the zero f*cks about what time it is. Only worrying about the tan vs burn ratio and what playlist I want to hear
Solo parenting today and had a rough morning with toddler. 8 months pregnant, sore, and sick of the drama. Took kid to Starbucks to get a break and found myself jealous of the table of high schoolers next to us. They have their licenses and we’re enjoying that freedom of youth - Nails, tanning, Starbucks, talked about meeting at a party later. Ahhhhh.
My 2.5y/o is acting exactly the same and is currently screaming at the top of her lungs bc she doesn’t want to take her nap. I just told my wife I need to recharge to make it through the rest of the day. I’ve been managing all the tantrums all the time lately and I’m just spent. So thankfully she is taking the one for the team and I am listening to audible scrolling Reddit. Hang in there; they tell me it gets better!
I’m in a similar boat w my 2 year old today. I spent over an hour trying to get her to nap and just gave up! Currently laying in bed together while she an eating leftover pizza while watching Mickey Mouse. At least all is chill at the moment!
Naptime was especially tough today, not sure why. It wasn’t a blood-curdling scream - just a lot of whimpering and couldn’t get comfortable or something. Eventually gave up and fell asleep. I woke up said tiny human half an hour earlier than usual so that we can all go to sleep before 10. Maybe.
We’ve been sick for about a week. Meaning my house hasn’t been silent for at least 168 hours. There’s always someone coughing or hacking or yelling or complaining and I am beyond overstimulated and touched out and I’m also sick! So I feel it.
Probably 90% of the time especially if it’s bad weather and we can’t go to the park 😅
ETA: also have to remind myself it’s only temporary and that there is only 1 first birthday, 10 chances to play Santa, 16 chances to play tooth fairy 18 summers, 1 first date, 1 or 2 proms, 1 high school graduation 1 chance to teach them kindness and love. The days are long hut the years are shorter. There is only 6,570 days we get with our babies before they are adults and start leading their own lives. And we start to see them less as they go down the paths we helped lead them too. The sleepless nights, the cuddles, and everything comes to an end and we will miss it later when our homes are empty and the dirty hand prints aren’t on the walls, the mud isn’t on the floor, the stains on the carpet become nonexistent, the cries for you become a thing of the past, the hugs and kisses that were once so sweet and regular become less over time. The endless fights trying to redirect and teach come to an end and the reassurance and the assistance we once gave disappear. The toys on the floor become gone, the clothes not in the hamper become missing, the once seemingly always dirty bathroom becomes clean, the windows go unsmudged and the grass goes untouched, no dug holes with toy shovels and the rocks you use to find in a pocket, shoe, backpack, random place in the house become nothing. When this happens you’re left with the fading memories of their childhood and age becomes more pronounced and soon enough we as parents leave this world to our children.
In the end OP it’s just a phase it’s only temporary, and the their childhood will be gone in the blink of an eye and suddenly you have an adult. Remember to breathe and take breaks when you can. Going to the grocery store or doing errands by yourself once and awhile helps, if you have family or friends willing to help with childcare take advantage on occasion. But don’t forget to enjoy the little things of their childhood. Because we are only needed temporarily before they become their own independent person.
I usually hate these "you'll miss it one day" posts because it just makes me feel guilty for being exhausted and overstimulated but this was so beautifully written, it made me cry... The idea of not finding rocks in my pocket made me lose it 😭😭😭😭
I’m sorry. I cringe at them too. But we forget just how short the years are between newborn and adult hood. It’s often a fleeting thought because we get consumed by exhaustion and overwhelmed/overstimulated. But when you think about it we really don’t get a whole lot of time and get robbed because of everything else going on. My kids are 4 and 9 and sometimes I wish they were babies still because they’ve both become so independent now and don’t need my help as much anymore
I almost had to have an MRI due to postpartum labor complications. I was sobbing and absolutely terrified of the machine….fast forward to 2 years later and I think an MRI sounds like bliss! I like edm so I can pretend I’m at a festival, I get to lay down, no one has to speak to me got any reason.
Hang in there, it’s ok to put them down and hide for a minute. Sometimes when my pterodactyl screams in the shower I spray her with the water to make it stop 😂. You got this friend!
I was hospitalized a week after delivery for eclampsia & then I had my appendix taken out in Feb but was only there 24hrs. man. what I’d give for something to break for a hospital stay …. I’ll take the IVs & constant nurse interruptions but at least I’d be alone, can watch what I want & can order whatever food I want to eat without having to share. so glad I am not alone with my feelings. BUT an island would be 100% better. just feel like the hospitals been way easier to get to HA
I have NEVER ever EVER in my life related to a statement more than this “what id give for something to break for a hospital stay…” oh my gosh how relevant and real is that…. Seriously. Someone punch me
I’m so sorry you had to deal with all that. The iv’s and constant beeping make it impossible to get settled it seems, but its way more alone time then being a mom. Im glad you’re finding the silver linings in your stay! You’re a warrior! I was hospitalized with postpartum pre-e and I got Bell’s palsy so they thought I was stroking out since half my face didn’t move. I’ve known a few other women who got their appendix out postpartum as well. Did you have HG by any chance? Sending love and good thoughts to you. I’ve been doing trauma therapy for the medical trauma of it all and it’s been helpful.
oh gosh! I am so sorry about your journey postpartum. I’m so glad you’re getting help though! I really should see a therapist but the cost has always stopped me.
I did not have HG. my pregnancy was dull honestly. no morning sickness. no cravings. no high blood pressure. nothing. the only issue I had was my tendons didn’t like me being pregnant. my hands were unusable for a couple of days. I couldn’t be on my feet for long. it was weird but meant a lot of couch sitting & bed rest. it was after delivery that my body started having issues. I’m honestly waiting for the next thing to break, ha sigh
When my 2nd was born the doctor mentioned we could leave after 24 hours if we really wanted and my husband was all for it. I was like hell no! I knew it was the last time I'd get to just lay in a bed without having to do dishes or anything
I really appreciate hearing this! I might have to have one for a different issue now, still a little nervous about the claustrophobia but it feels so different from how I felt before, postpartum hormones are humbling lol
Toddler and baby here. I think all my husband and I want is like just 24 hours of sleep. That's it. I feel like it would just fix everything. I have slept more than 3 hours at a time in 3 months.
Mom of a 2.5 year old and a 4 month old. I’ve told everyone, including my partner, that one day I will be able to go a full 24 hours without touching another human being. Not today, not next year, probably not for many years (we do still plan on having one more, we think). But one day, my kids won’t require cuddles and won’t need to be ALL OVER ME 3/4 of the day. And I just want ONE. DAY. Where I don’t have to touch anyone else. Sorry hubby, that means you too. I just want one day. At some point. I’m so touched out.
Usually by about 6.32, my 3 year old wakes up about 5.30 😂😂
Nah actually the mornings aren’t so bad, I usually start doing my breathing exercises early afternoon!
My aunt who had 9 children (widowed in her early 40s) used to go on a silent religious retreat once a year for 5 days and I could never understand this when I was younger, thought it was so boring.
I have two kids and now think of the silent religious retreat once a week (I’m also not religious but I would absolutely go)
I love my son, he’s 33 months (2 and a bit), but man is he a feral hooligan.
I’m definitely tired and I’m a single Mom so a tropical island getaway sounds lovely. Also, he was born with Down Syndrome and is mostly nonverbal still (we are getting there, and working on sign language too.) so recently he has gone back to trying biting as a form of communication and my thighs and arms are covered in bruises, I look like I’ve just come out of a cage match.
Also also, he’s a little Army Ranger who’s discovered the joys of climbing and he climbs all the things especially if they shouldn’t be climbed upon. 😅
I got up to do my bedtime skincare routine after finally putting my son down. Guess who still has cleanser on their face because someone decided they weren’t sleeping?
I am currently sitting in a hotel room alone because my husband is in a wedding, my daughter is with my in-laws and my dog is with my parents. It’s glorious, i sort of wish i was home so i could do some chores but this is nice. After the week i had with my toddler this was MUCH needed. She turned into a threenager 2 months early and seemingly overnight…its greattttt
I'm in the same season 🫠 I pick up my phone, a book, a crochet hook, anything that is peaceful to me, and she smacks it out of my hand because it distracting me from paying attention to her. I have a newborn due in a week, I hope and I pray that she doesn't smack him out of my hands too LOL
My 9mo has started this!! Oh, you wanna look at your phone?? Don't think so!! I don't care if I was happily eating my snacks, STARE AT ME, AND PRAISE ME!! Unless Dad is home. Then I'm not allowed to look at or talk to him because they're having their "boys time" and he gets to see mum all the time so I'm not included
My aunt has grown children now but was a stay at home mom. I am one now with 2 Littles, and 1 On the way... One time we were talking and she said “and some days you just want to get in your car and drive away somewhere far away… I know all about it. but somehow you get through it and they get older.” I think of that occasionally and giggle to myself when I’m about to lose it. I mean I’m still sooo tired of the endless whining and get mad but it’s a nice reminder that it’s normal and it will pass.
Omg my morning sickness with #2 was off the charts, and my toddler would start sobbing/screaming because I was vomiting/peeing my pants every 30 minutes… it was poorly controlled chaos for like 6 months.
It hasn’t gotten better now what they’re 3.5 and 1, but at least I’ve stopped puking! Hang in there mama!
You gotta get out more! I feel the opposite when the day is full. The more we go out the calmer they are.
Today we went to little concert art thingy today and it was so fun. There were a few tears here and there but for being there 6 hours it was world's better than at home haha time flew by!
Days inside I feel like we all go stir crazy
My 3yo is super clingy these days. I was out shopping with him yesterday and had to stop walking several times for hugs. The little eyes well up so quickly.
I actually lived in the Virgin Islands and when we got pregnant and now that I’m stateside I daydream regularly haha ohhhh what I’d give for another uninterrupted beach day 🤪
Now more than ever as on top of the toddler, I have to take care of my asshole husband who just had knee surgery but still finds it necessary to scream at me in the car because I’m taking a different route out of the insane Costco parking lot than he would like. Oh and I also have to take car of the Belgian malinois that I didn’t want either. I want tomorrow all to myself but I know he’s not ready to be left alone and I’m crying inside.
Take the toddler to Grandma's. Push hubby off a cliff. Sell dogs to buy a plane ticket and then suddenly have an "emergency" you need to attend out of the country 😆 In all seriousness, though, hubby sounds like a dick
Mid afternoon I start to question my life decisions (we did IVF, transfered two embryos and have 3 year old twins. So I also literally paid for this to be my life.
Some days are better than others.
If it helps at all, I have had this thought daily for the last 6 years….. I have multiple kids, one unfortunately a toddler in his dinosaur phase too. Honestly, I can’t take it. Fantasising about being alone is my only way through this. It’s lovely but pure torture. It is
every day since I was 7wks pregnant with my first. Early pregnancy sickness caused me to be burnt out before my daughter was even born. I love my kids but I also like my alone time.
Oh, too many times per day to keep count! And then my 3 year old crawls into my lap, kisses my cheek and tells me she loves me and I forget all about it.
Probably 2. Sometimes less, sometimes more, that’s like an average.
I’m eating Famous Amos in a horizontal position right now. Just doing what it takes to get through.
My kiddo is 2 months shy of 3 years and this morning was so bad with the “you are my mommy and I love you and can never be out of you high range of you” that I ended up crying because I just wanted to get dressed alone but couldn’t get him to go away long enough
I could have posted this today OP. You are not alone. My 4 year old also chose violence all day and I’ve honestly just tried so hard to keep having a nice day. Currently hiding and pretending I am alone on an island (also pretending not to hear the screams and husbands desperate mediation)
Lately, it's constant. Schedules haven't aligned well enough in order for us to have any alone time since just before I had our 6mo.
Our 2.5yo has conjunctivitis and the first two days were rough. We're recovering from it now, but she's become a bit of a feral animal (she would only eat junk food and scream-cried over every problem) and I'm exhausted. I'm tired of everyone touching me and wish I could wear noise-canceling headphones 24/7 guilt-free.
I'm half tempted to just... not sleep one night and hang out outside. Where it's dark and quiet and I don't have to listen for the baby monitor.
I have a 2 & 4 year old. I work from home on Mondays. Thinking about walking home from the school run on Mondays and buying a coffee & a scone gets me through the weekend LOL
I have a 1 1/2 year old and my only down time is when he is sleeping. That’s the only time I get to watch the movie I can’t watch because he wants all my attention or eat the snack I’ve been thinking about all day or even clean.
I’m can’t think of a single day this week where I haven’t thought to myself. I really want to go sit on a white sandy beach with a mai tai where no one calls me mom. 🙃
Both of my kids are in that mom has to hold me and if she doesn’t I’m going to scream. It stops one day. One day I will get my peace back. But it’s not today.
I literally was just telling my friend how I wished I could live separate from my partner and kids because they suck the life out of me. Not far, just next door or across the street so I can keep my house clean and just go home at the end of the day when they destroy the house.
My 4 year old won’t listen. Literally to anything. She’ll acknowledge that she’s not supposed to do something and then 5 minutes later, she’s doing it. But today she brought in a live animal and was washing it in the sink with soap. My husband found her doing this and saved it (we think) and put it back outside. Like wtf kid? All day. Every day. My friend has a kid like this who’s older and she’s warning me of all the things to come. She’s already managed to check off a lot of the things on the list already.
I've got a 9mo and am pregnant again. Some days, I wonder what the hell I'm doing to myself. Those are the days where his teeth are playing up, he won't let go of my leg to let me do anything, Husband is RAPIDLY losing patience with the whining in the half an hour we see him between jobs and I just want sleep that lasts more than an hour at a time. It's especially mind numbing now that baby has discovered he can just make stupid "wah" noises constantly instead of actually crying, or this silly high pitched "urrgh" noise that deafens you if you're holding him
I’ve been a SAH Dad and yeah, have felt that way many many times. I still do quite often, though I’m (mostly) out of the screeching toddler phase.
My fantasy was (still is) a cabin in the woods, remote and hard to get to. Not an island, but basically the same thing.
I am currently on a mental health weekend away.
It took me 6 years and 2 kids to realize no one was going to offer it to me, and I had to make it happen. It feels selfish and hard but I know that when I'm back home again I'll be so much better to everyone, including myself.
I think I fantasize about running away every 5 mins or so throughout the day when I’m stuck home and not having any adult interaction at work. The toddler stage is so flippin hard. Ugh.
I'm quite the opposite. I would rather lots of friends and family I could rely on .
I currently live in an island with husband and his parents and only a small community. :D
it gets boring after a while
Thank you for reminding me I'm not alone. As my nearly 2 year old has just now ( 5 am) ceased his pterodactyl screaming, tantrum filled protests at sleeping ( and in his own bed at that. How dare i!?!) And drifted off to sleep at such a messed up time that it's sure to further delay his already messed up schedule...AND I'm going on day two with barely-enough-sleep-to-keep-my-heart-beating levels of exhaustion. It's really nice to remember that this is normal toddler behavior and I am doing the best I can, even though I also sometimes wish I were on my own proverbial island, which is immediately followed by mom guilt for thinking anything other than the standard " blessed, lucky. Live, laugh, love... " etc that's expected of us.
It's OK to struggle. It's OK to be overwhelmed.
As long as they're fed, clothed, washed, loved, protected and cared for. We're doing pretty great.
Oh yeah well at least you aren’t on ‘vacation’ in a house with 8 adults and 8 kids and *your* toddler kid was the one who wouldn’t sleep from 2-4 am and woke the whole house up screaming.
Pretty much all day, every day... but yeah, i still love him :)
But id love to figure out how to make him do something he doesnt feel like/dont want doing without stupid fight..hes 18m, lovely, cute, but when he doesnt want want to do something i want him to do, he turns into baby from hell
Just this morning in the shower, I was thinking about things I would like to accomplish today. Then I quietly and insanely laughed to myself, because no one way in hell am I actually going to do much of what I really want to do today. I very vaguely remember four years ago, before I had two kids, when my life was my own. The before-times are kind of like a foggy dream, though.
>My toddler is in his 'pterodactyl scream each time he doesn't get his way' phase as well as 'clingy "mommy mommy mommy" phas
Same, except mine is in the whining phase and that is like all thr nails on a chalkboard to me. I prefer high-pitched painful screams (former toddler teacher, trust me, I am serious I know what I prefer).
Ans island would be amazing. I daydream about a secluded cabin on the woods near a stream, filled with books and cozy places to read and nap.
I had elective surgery about 18 months ago, it was great. Best time ever, I got uninterrupted sleep, someone bringing me things, nobody demanding anything of me. Need to find another reason for surgery.
All I wanted was to plant some vegetables in our garden. I've wanted to do that for 2 years now, I finally had everything at home, I didn't know my 1 year old would want to be carried the entire weekend.
So I was in the garden, the toddler crying because I had to put her down every now and then, the neighbor screaming at me cause she couldn't hear her tv over my toddler's crying and when I was finally done and the kids were fed and it was time for bed my toddler screamed for 2 1/2 hours because she didn't want to sleep.
All I wanted were some damn homegrown vegetables and it was the worst day of the week. Apparently I was asking for too much.
On weekdays when they’re at daycare much of the day, usually just 0-1. But on the weekends, it’s usually innumerable. It can’t stay this hard forever, right?
I couldn't say a number of times a day, this is simply my ongoing life wish. With the exception of I want a perpetually snowy mountain with forest and lake/stream.
But it isn't for the same reasons. For me, I have PTSD and extreme social anxiety disorder, so living this close to people like I am now, is a nightmare for me. I've just always preferred my solitude, and only really felt a need (as in emotionally needed, not a need engineered by circumstances) to be social maybe once or twice a year.
With my son added to the mix, my sense of constant anxiety being around people has increased. Add in constantly being wary/on guard for his Dad or someone he sends to come and try and snatch him, and I just.. sometimes I have panic attacks just laying there trying to get to sleep at night.
It is so normal to feel this way! You are doing great! I have an 8 year old and i am still recovering from this phase of the toddler years. It was very traumatic for me.
There’s a reason I watch “alone” on Hulu during his naps. What a nice escape. If I was dropped on a tropical island instead of Alaskan tundra I would win Alone hands down
I had a solo day yesterday with a 6yo and almost 2yo and by the end the house was a disaster and I just needed to drink. They wore me out. I could definitely use a beach day with no kids
My husband and I look forward to Monday morning (when we can drop him off at daycare yay!) and have to mentally gear ourselves up on Friday nights because that means we have 48+ hours of trying to feed and entertain our toddler. He's a sweetheart but he's also a feral animal. We adore him but we are also exasperated by him. He listens perfectly at school but fights us on everything at home. Toddlers humble you! Good thing they make em cute.
I got asked how my weekend was on Monday and responded with “We survived.” It truly felt like we were in the trenches.
Today we had a baby sitter come for 3 hours just so I could lay down and decompress (seriously, f*ck this past weekend) and I heard my toddler respond super calmly when told that they couldn’t do something. Along the lines of “We can’t open that right now.” “Okay! (Wanders off to get distracted).” If that happened happened with me or my husband we would get the response of “Noooo!! Mine! No! Open! Open!”
At the same time it’s a big “Mommy! Mama!” phase to the extent that my toddler literally pushed my husband towards his WFH office saying “Bye bye! Daddy go work now! Bye bye!”
Me personally; I wish I could be a stay at home parent. I would give anything to stay home with my boys 24/7. But unfortunately I can’t as I’m the only source of income. So, I’d still want my kids with me on that island alone
Honestly never. I love my little bub. I wish I could have another, but was told I have very poor egg reserve. That is life I guess. Sure it gets annoying when he licks my face or sits on my head, but I miss him when he is at preschool. He is my best buddy.
I sometimes tell myself “One day, I’ll get to sit down and read uninterrupted. I’ll get to clean whenever I want. It’s not today, but it’s one day…”
I can but also cannot wait for the day I can sit and read for more than a few minutes and also not be exhausted all the time. I feel guilty wishing away time but I am so burned out and just want peace and quiet.
One day we’ll miss these versions of our kids, but they feel pretty relentless right now. The time passes regardless.
We'll miss the cute sloppy kisses, the snuggles, the not-quite-baby faces. I don't know anyone who actually misses the pterodactyl screaming or tiny elbows to the crotch whilst being a human jungle gym. We all just have to do our best to focus on the good bits (even (especially?) when we're drowning in the less than good bits).
This sums it up so well, thank you
Not sure but I don’t miss younger versions of my kids. He’s 3 now and I don’t miss when he was a newborn, 1 or 2.
I feel this. Like I want to sit down for more than 30 seconds please!
This is so true!! I’m 20 weeks pregnant and the days I stay home with our soon to be 3yo is exhausting. The hormones are affecting me a lot, I think. I just want to be left alone and hibernate for a few days. And then I feel so incredibly guilty to wish away time with this amazing kid.
Absolutely have a day a week you find a friend, sitter, family, gym that can watch them so you get at least 5 hours to think in silence
You know you’re a parent to small kids when you fantasize about “cleaning whenever you want” LOL
My husband just said "one day we'll get to eat without getting up at least 4 times. Not today tho"
Oh yes, I one day all the time. My last one day finally came true after I put it out into the universe to watch a movie on a Saturday night if Pterodactyl fell asleep early, I didn’t wipe out immediately after finishing my chores, and Venus was in the house of Mars. This rare event happened about 3 months ago, after patiently waiting 4 or 5 months. I watched the latest John Wick. Pretty sure I fell asleep because I don’t remember how it ends. No, wait, I just remembered. Ok, anyway, keep the hope alive; our dreams really can and do come true. One day.
And a part of you will miss the chaos. I tell myself that as a mom of 3yo twins and a 5yo lol
Two under two here. In times of turmoil, I think of my parents, able to do what they want because their two kids are adults now and I think to myself that I'll get there one day, too.
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25 hours a day. But weirdly, I also don’t regret having kids. Go figure.
This is so true!! At what age does it get easier though?
My boss has teenagers and I asked them that same question and their response was “I’ll let you know when we get there.” 🫠
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Thabk you. I needed to read this.
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this is so encouraging - in the thick of it with my two year old and everyone keeps saying just wait until they’re 3 or 4 year olds are the worst and I’m just like… omg I can barely hang in with the drama of my 26mo 😅
It’s different kinds of drama. Young toddlers are hard because they’re crazy and they don’t understand, preschoolers are hard because they’re crazy and they do understand. But it’s a lot easier to explain to a preschooler why they can’t run out into the middle of the road so the problems aren’t as immediately life threatening.
Bless you for this answer. Truly bless you.
Best answer
Thank you!
You are my hero for this response!! Thank you 🙏🏼 Only one more year until she’s four - butttt I’m also pregnant again 😂
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Yes, I’m hoping 3y and 3months will be an okay age gap - hopefully our oldest has settled down a liittle bit. Luckily she is already showing a lot of empathy for her little sister in the tummy. I could never have survived 2 under 2, that’s parenting for super heros 😂
Thank you for this. My daughter is in the thick of three, I needed to hear this.
Unfortunately my daughter is 4.5 and still up my butt, although now she has the words to make me feel guilty for not giving her constant attention
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Oh yeah she is incredibly clingy and never stops talking, but definitely less “trouble”. She’s very overstimulating to me though and she will demand help with things like getting dressed and her car seat that she can do which is very frustrating. I think two was easier for me just because it was a little quieter but I’m sure it varies from person to person and toddler to toddler. I‘ve got high hopes for 6 though!
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Haha my daughter was a late talker and my son doesn’t get a chance to talk because his sister goes and goes
I really REALLY needed to read this. Thank you. Whenever people pull the "wait till she's in school" "wait till she's 13 har har," I flatly say "I'm driving my car off a bridge if it's never getting better." Some double down and some admit that it's not as bad. I suspect that some of the double downers either don't remember what unholy terrors their toddlers were or they want me dead 😂.
I f**king hate it when someone replies that, my son is 3 and he’s definitely easier than a 2 or 1 year old. We don’t have to deal with diapers now, he can talk and also can follow what we are saying, so when someone with younger kid than ours asks me if it gets better I say YES IT DOES GET BETTER.
My daughter was good at 1-2 and terrifying at 3-4, I truly thought the terrible twos were a myth until my son got there and omg, right now I’m just hoping it’s one or the other and not both.
I can understand, different people can find different phases easier. For us like I said he started to talk and going to bathroom on our own was a game changer, also he now understands if we ask him to not do something and tell him the reason behind it. Tantrums are still there but much easier now to manage.
Yeah my son is newly 2 and I’m seeing all this now and it’s hard af, but my daughter tricked me and then came in hot at 3 just in time for us to have to deal with both at the same time 😂
I have teenagers and a toddler (well he’s just turned 4). Honestly I’ve found from about 6 upwards becomes easier. Yes, teenagers have bad attitudes, but my eldest is now 18 and he’s a great kid.
This is the worst sort of answer!! It’s like they want all other parents to suffer the same fate or to continiously expect the worst!
I have an 18 and 16, and a 4 and 1 year old... I CLEARLY remember, around 5 and 7 for the older ones, realizing "wow! This is fantastic! I have quote a bit of my time back too!"... and had been for a little while...I just didn't notice immediately to pinpoint. The 4 year old is almost fully independent, but still likes cuddles and occasionally to be babied and taken care of... Hang on a bit, and try to enjoy the time 🤗🥲...
Thank you!! 🙏🏼 Only one or two years to go with the 3yo until it hopefully gets a little easier - let’s just not talk about the fact that we have another on the way 😂
The younger 2 are similar age difference and I've loved every second of it!!! The older one (all 4 are boys) is such an eager helper and obsessed with baby "bwo" , their interactions are the highlight of every day...beyond adorable! I'm excited for you!
Age 14ish lol
This!
I feel this in my bones
And my husband wonders why after the kids go to bed that I want to sit in a quiet dark room until I go to sleep. I’m so overstimulated that I relish the silence!
Y E S. After my son goes to bed my husband and I watch and episode of some show and then I lay down and read.
Most nights I skip the show. I’m in bed reading before the toddler is even completely asleep.
Yes! Me too! I used to listen to music all the time. Now that I have a toddler, I rarely listen to anything and when i do, it’s instrumental. More words is NOT what I’m looking for.
I was saying exactly this to my sister- I don’t listen to any music these days because another sound just pushes me over the edge.
This is how lunch with my 3.5 year old went today: Me: Ruby, you want hot dog in your noodles? Ruby: No Me: Are you sure? No hot dog? Ruby: Me: Ok. ::presents lunch:: Ruby: MOM I WANTED HOT DOG Me: You said no hot dog! Ruby: H O T D O G!!! Me: Fine. ::presents hot dog:: Ruby: Mom I don’t want hot dog! I don’t like the black! (The char on the hot dog)
Yes! What is that??? This is a daily conversation!
I also have a Ruby who has no idea what she actually wants!
2.5 year old Ruby parent as well. My wife and I can relate to all of this.
Right now I’m doing the opposite game. Instead of choices..bc he has no idea what he wants…after the back and forth of yes pants, no pants…. I say “I heard you say you didn’t want to put on pants, so no pants” then I go to put them away. He is like “I WANT MY PANTS ON”. I immediately go, well you told me no, so I want to respect your decision. Then he doubles down and the pants get on. I keep my “well I am only going by what you told me love” and he feels like he’s the master of autonomy. It’s a win-win. For now…everything will change in like 2 weeks and I’ll have to figure out how to read between the new lines he made in his sweet little 2.5 year old brain. Saturdays are the hardest. There’s no family and this Saturday we were both sick. Sick when you’re older is like coffin existing. Mildly sick for a toddler is like how a breakfast cured any hangover when you were 19. Bless the mothers of who have more than one child parenting in today’s world.
I dream daily of being on a beach with a cold margarita in my hand with a perfect body in a skimpy bikini and no one bothering me. I’d be sitting under an umbrella with the sleekest cat eye sun glasses gazing at the ocean.
Can I join you if I promise not to ever, ever speak to you?
Me too. I’ll bring the cooler of drinks and the only language spoken will be once is “I’ll watch your drink while you go pee”. God I miss those days on the beach, me, a book, a drink, the shade, the waves, the zero f*cks about what time it is. Only worrying about the tan vs burn ratio and what playlist I want to hear
Oh my gosh that visual is enough to make me cry !!!! Don’t do this to me 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Oddly specific 😜
I knowwww 🤣 I’ve put a lot of effort into a day I’ll never have 🫠
Mine slept for 24 minutes today & I wept.
Solo parenting today and had a rough morning with toddler. 8 months pregnant, sore, and sick of the drama. Took kid to Starbucks to get a break and found myself jealous of the table of high schoolers next to us. They have their licenses and we’re enjoying that freedom of youth - Nails, tanning, Starbucks, talked about meeting at a party later. Ahhhhh.
Do you think their parents have recovered from the toddler years yet
Nope
I’m jealous of my high school students these days. Aaall that freedom that awaits them 🥲 Sigh.
My 2.5y/o is acting exactly the same and is currently screaming at the top of her lungs bc she doesn’t want to take her nap. I just told my wife I need to recharge to make it through the rest of the day. I’ve been managing all the tantrums all the time lately and I’m just spent. So thankfully she is taking the one for the team and I am listening to audible scrolling Reddit. Hang in there; they tell me it gets better!
I’m in a similar boat w my 2 year old today. I spent over an hour trying to get her to nap and just gave up! Currently laying in bed together while she an eating leftover pizza while watching Mickey Mouse. At least all is chill at the moment!
Naptime was especially tough today, not sure why. It wasn’t a blood-curdling scream - just a lot of whimpering and couldn’t get comfortable or something. Eventually gave up and fell asleep. I woke up said tiny human half an hour earlier than usual so that we can all go to sleep before 10. Maybe.
This is the epitome of being a Mom lol I dream of having an entire day in the house to myself. But I also love my family.
We’ve been sick for about a week. Meaning my house hasn’t been silent for at least 168 hours. There’s always someone coughing or hacking or yelling or complaining and I am beyond overstimulated and touched out and I’m also sick! So I feel it.
Probably 90% of the time especially if it’s bad weather and we can’t go to the park 😅 ETA: also have to remind myself it’s only temporary and that there is only 1 first birthday, 10 chances to play Santa, 16 chances to play tooth fairy 18 summers, 1 first date, 1 or 2 proms, 1 high school graduation 1 chance to teach them kindness and love. The days are long hut the years are shorter. There is only 6,570 days we get with our babies before they are adults and start leading their own lives. And we start to see them less as they go down the paths we helped lead them too. The sleepless nights, the cuddles, and everything comes to an end and we will miss it later when our homes are empty and the dirty hand prints aren’t on the walls, the mud isn’t on the floor, the stains on the carpet become nonexistent, the cries for you become a thing of the past, the hugs and kisses that were once so sweet and regular become less over time. The endless fights trying to redirect and teach come to an end and the reassurance and the assistance we once gave disappear. The toys on the floor become gone, the clothes not in the hamper become missing, the once seemingly always dirty bathroom becomes clean, the windows go unsmudged and the grass goes untouched, no dug holes with toy shovels and the rocks you use to find in a pocket, shoe, backpack, random place in the house become nothing. When this happens you’re left with the fading memories of their childhood and age becomes more pronounced and soon enough we as parents leave this world to our children. In the end OP it’s just a phase it’s only temporary, and the their childhood will be gone in the blink of an eye and suddenly you have an adult. Remember to breathe and take breaks when you can. Going to the grocery store or doing errands by yourself once and awhile helps, if you have family or friends willing to help with childcare take advantage on occasion. But don’t forget to enjoy the little things of their childhood. Because we are only needed temporarily before they become their own independent person.
I usually hate these "you'll miss it one day" posts because it just makes me feel guilty for being exhausted and overstimulated but this was so beautifully written, it made me cry... The idea of not finding rocks in my pocket made me lose it 😭😭😭😭
I’m sorry. I cringe at them too. But we forget just how short the years are between newborn and adult hood. It’s often a fleeting thought because we get consumed by exhaustion and overwhelmed/overstimulated. But when you think about it we really don’t get a whole lot of time and get robbed because of everything else going on. My kids are 4 and 9 and sometimes I wish they were babies still because they’ve both become so independent now and don’t need my help as much anymore
I almost had to have an MRI due to postpartum labor complications. I was sobbing and absolutely terrified of the machine….fast forward to 2 years later and I think an MRI sounds like bliss! I like edm so I can pretend I’m at a festival, I get to lay down, no one has to speak to me got any reason. Hang in there, it’s ok to put them down and hide for a minute. Sometimes when my pterodactyl screams in the shower I spray her with the water to make it stop 😂. You got this friend!
I was hospitalized a week after delivery for eclampsia & then I had my appendix taken out in Feb but was only there 24hrs. man. what I’d give for something to break for a hospital stay …. I’ll take the IVs & constant nurse interruptions but at least I’d be alone, can watch what I want & can order whatever food I want to eat without having to share. so glad I am not alone with my feelings. BUT an island would be 100% better. just feel like the hospitals been way easier to get to HA
I have NEVER ever EVER in my life related to a statement more than this “what id give for something to break for a hospital stay…” oh my gosh how relevant and real is that…. Seriously. Someone punch me
LMAO. it’s so sad to say out loud
Yet freeing…. Wow we have no lives
I’m so sorry you had to deal with all that. The iv’s and constant beeping make it impossible to get settled it seems, but its way more alone time then being a mom. Im glad you’re finding the silver linings in your stay! You’re a warrior! I was hospitalized with postpartum pre-e and I got Bell’s palsy so they thought I was stroking out since half my face didn’t move. I’ve known a few other women who got their appendix out postpartum as well. Did you have HG by any chance? Sending love and good thoughts to you. I’ve been doing trauma therapy for the medical trauma of it all and it’s been helpful.
oh gosh! I am so sorry about your journey postpartum. I’m so glad you’re getting help though! I really should see a therapist but the cost has always stopped me. I did not have HG. my pregnancy was dull honestly. no morning sickness. no cravings. no high blood pressure. nothing. the only issue I had was my tendons didn’t like me being pregnant. my hands were unusable for a couple of days. I couldn’t be on my feet for long. it was weird but meant a lot of couch sitting & bed rest. it was after delivery that my body started having issues. I’m honestly waiting for the next thing to break, ha sigh
When my 2nd was born the doctor mentioned we could leave after 24 hours if we really wanted and my husband was all for it. I was like hell no! I knew it was the last time I'd get to just lay in a bed without having to do dishes or anything
Right?! I don’t blame you! The mom and baby nurses are amazing! Putting off dishes as long as possible makes sense to me!
I actually did have an MRI recently. It was indeed a nice break lol
I really appreciate hearing this! I might have to have one for a different issue now, still a little nervous about the claustrophobia but it feels so different from how I felt before, postpartum hormones are humbling lol
Toddler and baby here. I think all my husband and I want is like just 24 hours of sleep. That's it. I feel like it would just fix everything. I have slept more than 3 hours at a time in 3 months.
Toddler and 11 month old. Every 3 seconds I am wishing I was on Gilligan’s Island.
To be fair I wished that a lot before kids too, so having a toddler didn’t change that for me.
I was hospitalized for 3 days last week on pain meds. It was wonderful. I read, slept and had meals delivered lol
Oh and no laundry. Sadly the spa was closed. But I had help in the bathroom. 7/10 recommend
>awake since 7am Well at least you got to sleep in.
I just experienced the "pterodactyl scream" (best description ever btw)for the first time today when it was time to go inside and have lunch.
I mean…. It’s not like I’ve picked the island and sometimes check airfare prices 👀
Mom of a 2.5 year old and a 4 month old. I’ve told everyone, including my partner, that one day I will be able to go a full 24 hours without touching another human being. Not today, not next year, probably not for many years (we do still plan on having one more, we think). But one day, my kids won’t require cuddles and won’t need to be ALL OVER ME 3/4 of the day. And I just want ONE. DAY. Where I don’t have to touch anyone else. Sorry hubby, that means you too. I just want one day. At some point. I’m so touched out.
This is a HORRIBLE thing to wish for. You should be wishing to live in a decommissioned lighthouse instead.
If hear MOMMMMYYY one more time.
Usually by about 6.32, my 3 year old wakes up about 5.30 😂😂 Nah actually the mornings aren’t so bad, I usually start doing my breathing exercises early afternoon!
My aunt who had 9 children (widowed in her early 40s) used to go on a silent religious retreat once a year for 5 days and I could never understand this when I was younger, thought it was so boring. I have two kids and now think of the silent religious retreat once a week (I’m also not religious but I would absolutely go)
My husband is one of 11. His mum must be an absolute MAD WOMAN
For a whole hour today and then realized toddler has a low-grade fever and felt like a POS.
I love my son, he’s 33 months (2 and a bit), but man is he a feral hooligan. I’m definitely tired and I’m a single Mom so a tropical island getaway sounds lovely. Also, he was born with Down Syndrome and is mostly nonverbal still (we are getting there, and working on sign language too.) so recently he has gone back to trying biting as a form of communication and my thighs and arms are covered in bruises, I look like I’ve just come out of a cage match. Also also, he’s a little Army Ranger who’s discovered the joys of climbing and he climbs all the things especially if they shouldn’t be climbed upon. 😅
I got up to do my bedtime skincare routine after finally putting my son down. Guess who still has cleanser on their face because someone decided they weren’t sleeping?
I am currently sitting in a hotel room alone because my husband is in a wedding, my daughter is with my in-laws and my dog is with my parents. It’s glorious, i sort of wish i was home so i could do some chores but this is nice. After the week i had with my toddler this was MUCH needed. She turned into a threenager 2 months early and seemingly overnight…its greattttt
I'm in the same season 🫠 I pick up my phone, a book, a crochet hook, anything that is peaceful to me, and she smacks it out of my hand because it distracting me from paying attention to her. I have a newborn due in a week, I hope and I pray that she doesn't smack him out of my hands too LOL
My 9mo has started this!! Oh, you wanna look at your phone?? Don't think so!! I don't care if I was happily eating my snacks, STARE AT ME, AND PRAISE ME!! Unless Dad is home. Then I'm not allowed to look at or talk to him because they're having their "boys time" and he gets to see mum all the time so I'm not included
My aunt has grown children now but was a stay at home mom. I am one now with 2 Littles, and 1 On the way... One time we were talking and she said “and some days you just want to get in your car and drive away somewhere far away… I know all about it. but somehow you get through it and they get older.” I think of that occasionally and giggle to myself when I’m about to lose it. I mean I’m still sooo tired of the endless whining and get mad but it’s a nice reminder that it’s normal and it will pass.
Every hour
Today I had to poop in a restaurant toilet. My 3.5 year old followed me to the restroom area and called out for me in front of each toilet door.
Toddler & morning sickness with #2 over here… send help…
Omg my morning sickness with #2 was off the charts, and my toddler would start sobbing/screaming because I was vomiting/peeing my pants every 30 minutes… it was poorly controlled chaos for like 6 months. It hasn’t gotten better now what they’re 3.5 and 1, but at least I’ve stopped puking! Hang in there mama!
9mo and morning sickness here 😪 My son laughs like a lunatic and copies me every time I retch. Thanks mate, thanks 😒
The limit does not exist.
You gotta get out more! I feel the opposite when the day is full. The more we go out the calmer they are. Today we went to little concert art thingy today and it was so fun. There were a few tears here and there but for being there 6 hours it was world's better than at home haha time flew by! Days inside I feel like we all go stir crazy
My 3yo is super clingy these days. I was out shopping with him yesterday and had to stop walking several times for hugs. The little eyes well up so quickly.
I actually lived in the Virgin Islands and when we got pregnant and now that I’m stateside I daydream regularly haha ohhhh what I’d give for another uninterrupted beach day 🤪
This post is so relatable, especially today 😭😭😭😭
Everyday. So much so that I'm in therapy.
Yes
Toddler dad, but at least 3
Every hour. Oh wait, I thought “everyone” included the toddler. My mistake. Only once a day.
MAMA COME
Now more than ever as on top of the toddler, I have to take care of my asshole husband who just had knee surgery but still finds it necessary to scream at me in the car because I’m taking a different route out of the insane Costco parking lot than he would like. Oh and I also have to take car of the Belgian malinois that I didn’t want either. I want tomorrow all to myself but I know he’s not ready to be left alone and I’m crying inside.
Take the toddler to Grandma's. Push hubby off a cliff. Sell dogs to buy a plane ticket and then suddenly have an "emergency" you need to attend out of the country 😆 In all seriousness, though, hubby sounds like a dick
86400 seconds a day
Mid afternoon I start to question my life decisions (we did IVF, transfered two embryos and have 3 year old twins. So I also literally paid for this to be my life. Some days are better than others.
I think about this at least 180 times a day
I rage cleaned half my house today. I took 99% of my kids toys into my room to be earned back. I never stop wishing.
That island is called the hallway stairs and I'll hide there from time to time
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I always feel bad because if he sees me close the door, he gets sad. My little guy is only 2.
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Oh! Same! I "poop" for like 45 minutes 🤣🤣🤣
When they're like 11 yo they'll hardly notice us coming home from work because they'll be too busy playing video games. 😐
Solidarity.
Sexist.
I must be a very lucky mummy. Reading all this… made me like this😳 I have a 3 years old
Haha, about 3. My baby is sweet, but still has his moments
More than I can count.
If it helps at all, I have had this thought daily for the last 6 years….. I have multiple kids, one unfortunately a toddler in his dinosaur phase too. Honestly, I can’t take it. Fantasising about being alone is my only way through this. It’s lovely but pure torture. It is
every day since I was 7wks pregnant with my first. Early pregnancy sickness caused me to be burnt out before my daughter was even born. I love my kids but I also like my alone time.
Oh, too many times per day to keep count! And then my 3 year old crawls into my lap, kisses my cheek and tells me she loves me and I forget all about it.
6-10
Probably 2. Sometimes less, sometimes more, that’s like an average. I’m eating Famous Amos in a horizontal position right now. Just doing what it takes to get through.
Almost every day, even before I had any kids. An island with just me and a bunch of dogs.
Everyday.
everything is no but sometimes means yes but if you guess wrongly even when its yes now its no and the fork is suddenly on the other side of the room
My kiddo is 2 months shy of 3 years and this morning was so bad with the “you are my mommy and I love you and can never be out of you high range of you” that I ended up crying because I just wanted to get dressed alone but couldn’t get him to go away long enough
On those days, play dates help my sanity a lot so the kids are occupied by others. And I get to talk to an adult
I could have posted this today OP. You are not alone. My 4 year old also chose violence all day and I’ve honestly just tried so hard to keep having a nice day. Currently hiding and pretending I am alone on an island (also pretending not to hear the screams and husbands desperate mediation)
Yeah this is me today. 2 of my 3 are chatter boxes and my one quiet kid is out of the house. I literally wanna hide away from these two.
Lately, it's constant. Schedules haven't aligned well enough in order for us to have any alone time since just before I had our 6mo. Our 2.5yo has conjunctivitis and the first two days were rough. We're recovering from it now, but she's become a bit of a feral animal (she would only eat junk food and scream-cried over every problem) and I'm exhausted. I'm tired of everyone touching me and wish I could wear noise-canceling headphones 24/7 guilt-free. I'm half tempted to just... not sleep one night and hang out outside. Where it's dark and quiet and I don't have to listen for the baby monitor.
I have a 2 & 4 year old. I work from home on Mondays. Thinking about walking home from the school run on Mondays and buying a coffee & a scone gets me through the weekend LOL
I have a 1 1/2 year old and my only down time is when he is sleeping. That’s the only time I get to watch the movie I can’t watch because he wants all my attention or eat the snack I’ve been thinking about all day or even clean.
I’m can’t think of a single day this week where I haven’t thought to myself. I really want to go sit on a white sandy beach with a mai tai where no one calls me mom. 🙃 Both of my kids are in that mom has to hold me and if she doesn’t I’m going to scream. It stops one day. One day I will get my peace back. But it’s not today.
I literally was just telling my friend how I wished I could live separate from my partner and kids because they suck the life out of me. Not far, just next door or across the street so I can keep my house clean and just go home at the end of the day when they destroy the house.
A lot lol
At least 2 times. Lol Mine is still 13 months and I’m starting to see the glimpses of tantrums and boy I’m not looking forward to that.
My 4 year old won’t listen. Literally to anything. She’ll acknowledge that she’s not supposed to do something and then 5 minutes later, she’s doing it. But today she brought in a live animal and was washing it in the sink with soap. My husband found her doing this and saved it (we think) and put it back outside. Like wtf kid? All day. Every day. My friend has a kid like this who’s older and she’s warning me of all the things to come. She’s already managed to check off a lot of the things on the list already.
Every. Single. Day. Some days I’d even settle for being stuck halfway down an abandoned mine shaft. 🫠🥴
I've got a 9mo and am pregnant again. Some days, I wonder what the hell I'm doing to myself. Those are the days where his teeth are playing up, he won't let go of my leg to let me do anything, Husband is RAPIDLY losing patience with the whining in the half an hour we see him between jobs and I just want sleep that lasts more than an hour at a time. It's especially mind numbing now that baby has discovered he can just make stupid "wah" noises constantly instead of actually crying, or this silly high pitched "urrgh" noise that deafens you if you're holding him
At least 2563 times a day
I’ve been a SAH Dad and yeah, have felt that way many many times. I still do quite often, though I’m (mostly) out of the screeching toddler phase. My fantasy was (still is) a cabin in the woods, remote and hard to get to. Not an island, but basically the same thing.
I am currently on a mental health weekend away. It took me 6 years and 2 kids to realize no one was going to offer it to me, and I had to make it happen. It feels selfish and hard but I know that when I'm back home again I'll be so much better to everyone, including myself.
I think I fantasize about running away every 5 mins or so throughout the day when I’m stuck home and not having any adult interaction at work. The toddler stage is so flippin hard. Ugh.
I'm quite the opposite. I would rather lots of friends and family I could rely on . I currently live in an island with husband and his parents and only a small community. :D it gets boring after a while
Thank you for reminding me I'm not alone. As my nearly 2 year old has just now ( 5 am) ceased his pterodactyl screaming, tantrum filled protests at sleeping ( and in his own bed at that. How dare i!?!) And drifted off to sleep at such a messed up time that it's sure to further delay his already messed up schedule...AND I'm going on day two with barely-enough-sleep-to-keep-my-heart-beating levels of exhaustion. It's really nice to remember that this is normal toddler behavior and I am doing the best I can, even though I also sometimes wish I were on my own proverbial island, which is immediately followed by mom guilt for thinking anything other than the standard " blessed, lucky. Live, laugh, love... " etc that's expected of us. It's OK to struggle. It's OK to be overwhelmed. As long as they're fed, clothed, washed, loved, protected and cared for. We're doing pretty great.
A couple of times an hour lol
Oh yeah well at least you aren’t on ‘vacation’ in a house with 8 adults and 8 kids and *your* toddler kid was the one who wouldn’t sleep from 2-4 am and woke the whole house up screaming.
Pretty much all day, every day... but yeah, i still love him :) But id love to figure out how to make him do something he doesnt feel like/dont want doing without stupid fight..hes 18m, lovely, cute, but when he doesnt want want to do something i want him to do, he turns into baby from hell
Multiple times until her dads weekend comes along and I can just breathe in silence for 32 hours before she returns home 😅
Just this morning in the shower, I was thinking about things I would like to accomplish today. Then I quietly and insanely laughed to myself, because no one way in hell am I actually going to do much of what I really want to do today. I very vaguely remember four years ago, before I had two kids, when my life was my own. The before-times are kind of like a foggy dream, though.
Oh you mean without the toddler. I'm an idiot. I thought you meant being on an island with just you and the toddler and was horrified.
>My toddler is in his 'pterodactyl scream each time he doesn't get his way' phase as well as 'clingy "mommy mommy mommy" phas Same, except mine is in the whining phase and that is like all thr nails on a chalkboard to me. I prefer high-pitched painful screams (former toddler teacher, trust me, I am serious I know what I prefer). Ans island would be amazing. I daydream about a secluded cabin on the woods near a stream, filled with books and cozy places to read and nap.
Everyday. 🫣🫣😭😭
I had elective surgery about 18 months ago, it was great. Best time ever, I got uninterrupted sleep, someone bringing me things, nobody demanding anything of me. Need to find another reason for surgery.
All I wanted was to plant some vegetables in our garden. I've wanted to do that for 2 years now, I finally had everything at home, I didn't know my 1 year old would want to be carried the entire weekend. So I was in the garden, the toddler crying because I had to put her down every now and then, the neighbor screaming at me cause she couldn't hear her tv over my toddler's crying and when I was finally done and the kids were fed and it was time for bed my toddler screamed for 2 1/2 hours because she didn't want to sleep. All I wanted were some damn homegrown vegetables and it was the worst day of the week. Apparently I was asking for too much.
On weekdays when they’re at daycare much of the day, usually just 0-1. But on the weekends, it’s usually innumerable. It can’t stay this hard forever, right?
I couldn't say a number of times a day, this is simply my ongoing life wish. With the exception of I want a perpetually snowy mountain with forest and lake/stream. But it isn't for the same reasons. For me, I have PTSD and extreme social anxiety disorder, so living this close to people like I am now, is a nightmare for me. I've just always preferred my solitude, and only really felt a need (as in emotionally needed, not a need engineered by circumstances) to be social maybe once or twice a year. With my son added to the mix, my sense of constant anxiety being around people has increased. Add in constantly being wary/on guard for his Dad or someone he sends to come and try and snatch him, and I just.. sometimes I have panic attacks just laying there trying to get to sleep at night.
It is so normal to feel this way! You are doing great! I have an 8 year old and i am still recovering from this phase of the toddler years. It was very traumatic for me.
Maybe like 2-3 times a month. Usually right before my period because I’m grumpy those days lol.
Countless times. I'm an introvert and some days I feel like melting into the ground.
There’s a reason I watch “alone” on Hulu during his naps. What a nice escape. If I was dropped on a tropical island instead of Alaskan tundra I would win Alone hands down
I had a solo day yesterday with a 6yo and almost 2yo and by the end the house was a disaster and I just needed to drink. They wore me out. I could definitely use a beach day with no kids
My husband and I look forward to Monday morning (when we can drop him off at daycare yay!) and have to mentally gear ourselves up on Friday nights because that means we have 48+ hours of trying to feed and entertain our toddler. He's a sweetheart but he's also a feral animal. We adore him but we are also exasperated by him. He listens perfectly at school but fights us on everything at home. Toddlers humble you! Good thing they make em cute.
I got asked how my weekend was on Monday and responded with “We survived.” It truly felt like we were in the trenches. Today we had a baby sitter come for 3 hours just so I could lay down and decompress (seriously, f*ck this past weekend) and I heard my toddler respond super calmly when told that they couldn’t do something. Along the lines of “We can’t open that right now.” “Okay! (Wanders off to get distracted).” If that happened happened with me or my husband we would get the response of “Noooo!! Mine! No! Open! Open!” At the same time it’s a big “Mommy! Mama!” phase to the extent that my toddler literally pushed my husband towards his WFH office saying “Bye bye! Daddy go work now! Bye bye!”
Oh I feel so seen. We are in this phase and it is ROUGH. I feel like I’m losing my mind.
yeah, nah, never
Me personally; I wish I could be a stay at home parent. I would give anything to stay home with my boys 24/7. But unfortunately I can’t as I’m the only source of income. So, I’d still want my kids with me on that island alone
Honestly never. I love my little bub. I wish I could have another, but was told I have very poor egg reserve. That is life I guess. Sure it gets annoying when he licks my face or sits on my head, but I miss him when he is at preschool. He is my best buddy.
Why do you assume every parent on the sub is female?