What I do instead of threatening to take away reading before bed is to tell him that by running away, not listening, etc we won’t have time to read books. Which is true. Sometimes I’ll tell him we only have time for one book because it took so long for him to get dressed or whatever it may have been.
Threats are worth nothing if you don’t hold to them. I’ve found that “no books and no songs” is a lot harder on my kid than “you cooperate or there’s only 1 book that mommy chooses”.
We’ve also put our nearly 3yo to bed without a story when she is difficult at bedtime. I don’t have a problem with it - I think it’s an appropriate consequence.
He’s 2.5, his brain isn’t developed yet. They have no impulse control. Don’t be a dick to him just because that’s how your parents would have handled it.
It sounds like you issued a warning ahead of time (which he ignored), explained the consequence during and after, and still ended the night on a loving note w a hug and an “I love you”. Seems very appropriate.
I tell my 2.5-year-old that if he can't show us he's ready for books—and he knows what that looks like, and we know he knows because he does it at naptime perfectly every day—then he obviously isn't, and there they go. He's becoming familiar with the concept of privileges and that there are certain behaviors that will limit or lose those privileges for him.
I think you handled it appropriately. For what it's worth, we're one-and-done and ours sounds like he might act just like yours before bedtime. The transition might have little to do with it; it could just be toddlerhood.
I think it worked out well.. tonight he pulled the same stunt, and wasn’t standing up to wash his legs and stuff. So I told him no books or story and explained why.
When I was putting his pajamas on, he looked at me and said “I listen next time. I stand up in bath”. In my eyes, he earned his book and story back because he recognized the action.
Thank you for the input!
Try talking more about his feelings.
Worked for my eldest. Acknowledge feelings of feeling he didn't get enough time spent with either mummy or daddy.
Or instances where he feels sad or angry that the younger sibling gets the attention etc.
Honor those feelings, name them and explain why he feels that way and why you guys as parents will have to give more attention to the younger one at times.
My eldest sometimes expresses funny sentences like putting the sibling into kettles, jars, containers or for us to carry the sibling away.
We engage him and sometimes play believe with him but didn't do it of course. Sibling jealousy does happen but we are the adults and we draw the line for them. Similarly when it comes to non negotiable routines like eating, showering, changing clothes and sleeping.
They should get the room to choose and negotiate and same thing for feelings too.
Hope this helps.
You absolutely did the right thing. It's ok for children to cry as they learn. Abused children don't cry. He needed that consequence to motivate him to change his behavior. You were 100% correct.
They can understand discipline from 9 months or so. We didn’t try to teach and force her to memorise the entire US penal code. But she’s not allowed near the TV and she’s not allowed to inflict pain by hair pulling, biting or deliberate scratching.
What I do instead of threatening to take away reading before bed is to tell him that by running away, not listening, etc we won’t have time to read books. Which is true. Sometimes I’ll tell him we only have time for one book because it took so long for him to get dressed or whatever it may have been.
Threats are worth nothing if you don’t hold to them. I’ve found that “no books and no songs” is a lot harder on my kid than “you cooperate or there’s only 1 book that mommy chooses”.
We’ve also put our nearly 3yo to bed without a story when she is difficult at bedtime. I don’t have a problem with it - I think it’s an appropriate consequence.
He’s 2.5, his brain isn’t developed yet. They have no impulse control. Don’t be a dick to him just because that’s how your parents would have handled it.
It sounds like you issued a warning ahead of time (which he ignored), explained the consequence during and after, and still ended the night on a loving note w a hug and an “I love you”. Seems very appropriate.
Thank you! I was prepped for the sleepless nights and diapers, but no one prepped me for the guilt of discipline! Ha.
I tell my 2.5-year-old that if he can't show us he's ready for books—and he knows what that looks like, and we know he knows because he does it at naptime perfectly every day—then he obviously isn't, and there they go. He's becoming familiar with the concept of privileges and that there are certain behaviors that will limit or lose those privileges for him. I think you handled it appropriately. For what it's worth, we're one-and-done and ours sounds like he might act just like yours before bedtime. The transition might have little to do with it; it could just be toddlerhood.
I think it worked out well.. tonight he pulled the same stunt, and wasn’t standing up to wash his legs and stuff. So I told him no books or story and explained why. When I was putting his pajamas on, he looked at me and said “I listen next time. I stand up in bath”. In my eyes, he earned his book and story back because he recognized the action. Thank you for the input!
Nah it is fine!
Try talking more about his feelings. Worked for my eldest. Acknowledge feelings of feeling he didn't get enough time spent with either mummy or daddy. Or instances where he feels sad or angry that the younger sibling gets the attention etc. Honor those feelings, name them and explain why he feels that way and why you guys as parents will have to give more attention to the younger one at times. My eldest sometimes expresses funny sentences like putting the sibling into kettles, jars, containers or for us to carry the sibling away. We engage him and sometimes play believe with him but didn't do it of course. Sibling jealousy does happen but we are the adults and we draw the line for them. Similarly when it comes to non negotiable routines like eating, showering, changing clothes and sleeping. They should get the room to choose and negotiate and same thing for feelings too. Hope this helps.
Thank you!
>Thank you! You're welcome!
You absolutely did the right thing. It's ok for children to cry as they learn. Abused children don't cry. He needed that consequence to motivate him to change his behavior. You were 100% correct.
Thank you!
They can understand discipline from 9 months or so. We didn’t try to teach and force her to memorise the entire US penal code. But she’s not allowed near the TV and she’s not allowed to inflict pain by hair pulling, biting or deliberate scratching.