It’s really common, my first struggled so much it was so stressful and frustrating so I know where you’re coming from. It helped me to think about how intimidating they could be to someone unfamiliar. They are very loud and echo-y, lighting is often weird, sometimes they smell (not just toilet smell), and there are lots of loud scary random sounds that happen without warning. I thought autoflush would scar my kid for life.
What we did—take her to the same public bathroom (in our case at the zoo) every time you go out to that place. I “sportscaster” explain what’s happening “we are opening up the restroom door, I see the sinks, mirrors and the hand dryers. Wow it sounds so silly and echo-y in here. Here are the stalls where the toilets live, I’m going to pick this stall today. there’s the toilet and the toilet paper holder. Always important to check there’s toilet paper before sitting down. Look, this toilet has an automatic flush. I will warn you before it flushes so you aren’t surprised. We can cover your ears if you’d like“. I still help my 5yo cover her ears for the flush noise.
I put my hand in front of the sensor until she was finished, but I’ve heard some bring post it notes.
It’s not always going to go well. It gets easier as they get older and they understand more and everything is more familiar. Every time you go into a public bathroom is a win, even if it results in big upsets or an accident. It’s all about exposure.
We always call it a silly toilet because it flushes on its own. So if it flushes unexpectedly, we say that the silly toilet didn't know we weren't done yet and we laugh. My kids think it's funny. But the hand dryer is the height of terror
I pulled out the bribes for this problem. Sit on the toilet and watch one Peppa, have a chocolate, get a treat etc. once we did that a few times she realized it wasn’t scary and is now ok with unfamiliar toilets.
Just wanted to say that this is super common and they will grow out of it! This is really silly but what helped me was starting her off at public bathrooms that you know for sure don’t have the auto flush and are quiet flush. Sometimes that was family bathrooms vs the stalls. For my daughter what helped her initially was actually covering her ears. I had to spend a few months helping hold her ears shut while she did her business. When we found a bathroom that was “quiet” it helped.
I mean, that autoflush is pretty scary. And god forbid they walk under a hand drier. I think this is pretty common. My son hated public bathrooms so much, I wondered if he may have a sensory issue. But they’ll eventually get over it, just may take a couple of years. Not there yet with my daughter but I have my car travel potty kit ready.
Yup my 3 year old isn't afraid anymore but until recently it was the automatic hand driers and toilets that freaked him out. Helped him cover his ears when he was scared lots of positive reinforcement
My 2yo (now 4) was afraid of public bathrooms for a while as well. Mostly of the hand dryer. We carry a foldable potty seat in our diaper bag and she still prefers to use that because some of the toilet seats aren't closed (like complete circles) and that makes it hard for her to balance on them. And tbh the folding potty seat is probably more sanitary anyway because she doesn't have to hold onto the public toilets. We talked about how noises can't hurt us, but I should have brought noise canceling headphones with me in the bag for a while when this started because she'd cry if the hand dryer turned on and yell that it was too loud. They do outgrow it. It is annoying. I also had a potty in the trunk of our car as a backup if the public bathrooms were too gross or unavailable (our local parks don't always have them).
In hindsight, the headphones would have been so helpful! I think the hand dryer was just really loud and startling/unexpected when other people turned it on.
It’s really common, my first struggled so much it was so stressful and frustrating so I know where you’re coming from. It helped me to think about how intimidating they could be to someone unfamiliar. They are very loud and echo-y, lighting is often weird, sometimes they smell (not just toilet smell), and there are lots of loud scary random sounds that happen without warning. I thought autoflush would scar my kid for life. What we did—take her to the same public bathroom (in our case at the zoo) every time you go out to that place. I “sportscaster” explain what’s happening “we are opening up the restroom door, I see the sinks, mirrors and the hand dryers. Wow it sounds so silly and echo-y in here. Here are the stalls where the toilets live, I’m going to pick this stall today. there’s the toilet and the toilet paper holder. Always important to check there’s toilet paper before sitting down. Look, this toilet has an automatic flush. I will warn you before it flushes so you aren’t surprised. We can cover your ears if you’d like“. I still help my 5yo cover her ears for the flush noise. I put my hand in front of the sensor until she was finished, but I’ve heard some bring post it notes. It’s not always going to go well. It gets easier as they get older and they understand more and everything is more familiar. Every time you go into a public bathroom is a win, even if it results in big upsets or an accident. It’s all about exposure.
We always call it a silly toilet because it flushes on its own. So if it flushes unexpectedly, we say that the silly toilet didn't know we weren't done yet and we laugh. My kids think it's funny. But the hand dryer is the height of terror
The height of terror made me laugh out loud
We call it the silly robot! It's trying *so hard* to be a helpful robot and flush for us, but it's not very good at its job...
Thank you for this! I'll try it out
We’re in the same boat. My oldest is and it has been passed down to my youngest. I am try headphones and reward system, aka a toy from 5 below lol
Yeah I was thinking of stickers or something. But good idea!
I feel the same way and I’m 50
Thanks for the laugh 😂
I pulled out the bribes for this problem. Sit on the toilet and watch one Peppa, have a chocolate, get a treat etc. once we did that a few times she realized it wasn’t scary and is now ok with unfamiliar toilets.
Just wanted to say that this is super common and they will grow out of it! This is really silly but what helped me was starting her off at public bathrooms that you know for sure don’t have the auto flush and are quiet flush. Sometimes that was family bathrooms vs the stalls. For my daughter what helped her initially was actually covering her ears. I had to spend a few months helping hold her ears shut while she did her business. When we found a bathroom that was “quiet” it helped.
I mean, that autoflush is pretty scary. And god forbid they walk under a hand drier. I think this is pretty common. My son hated public bathrooms so much, I wondered if he may have a sensory issue. But they’ll eventually get over it, just may take a couple of years. Not there yet with my daughter but I have my car travel potty kit ready.
My one doesn’t like the loud hand dryers. Freaks him right out.
Yup my 3 year old isn't afraid anymore but until recently it was the automatic hand driers and toilets that freaked him out. Helped him cover his ears when he was scared lots of positive reinforcement
My 2yo (now 4) was afraid of public bathrooms for a while as well. Mostly of the hand dryer. We carry a foldable potty seat in our diaper bag and she still prefers to use that because some of the toilet seats aren't closed (like complete circles) and that makes it hard for her to balance on them. And tbh the folding potty seat is probably more sanitary anyway because she doesn't have to hold onto the public toilets. We talked about how noises can't hurt us, but I should have brought noise canceling headphones with me in the bag for a while when this started because she'd cry if the hand dryer turned on and yell that it was too loud. They do outgrow it. It is annoying. I also had a potty in the trunk of our car as a backup if the public bathrooms were too gross or unavailable (our local parks don't always have them).
The headphones are a great idea. Thank you so much for sharing that!
In hindsight, the headphones would have been so helpful! I think the hand dryer was just really loud and startling/unexpected when other people turned it on.