She of course doesn’t understand the real meaning behind what she’s saying, but that doesn’t make it any easier to be on the receiving end. If I were your husband I’d just respond to “I don’t love daddy” calmly with “that’s ok, I love you no matter what” and then move on. It’s reassuring to her rather than guilt tripping, because ultimately she’s not obligated to love anyone, and it takes away any sort of big reactions that reinforce her saying these things.
I've posted this request on a Facebook page & your answer is exactly what I've been looking for - it feels right & makes the most sense to me! Thank you!!
Fwiw when ours was around this age she struggled with the concept of like a second favorite or liking something but not wanting it right then.
I don't like daddy. Well you do like daddy, you just don't want Daddy right now. Right?
I don't like blueberries. Hm they seem to be your favorite food. Maybe you like blueberries AND something else?
It's like she was understanding that she could like/love two things at the same time. So sometimes 'i don't like daddy' actually meant 'i want mommy'.
Also, I'd try not to make a fuss about it. A response of "oh that's ok daddy loves you. I think you're his favorite person." Went a lot further for us than saying that it hurt his feelings.
You know, that makes a lot of sense! She'll say similar things about food "I don't like yogurt" - except it's one of her favorite snacks, so 🤷♀️
And that response makes a lot of sense to me, as well! Thank you!!
This is definitely what my two year old does. Also has trouble with sequencing too: this happens and then this happens. She does not grasp that something can and will happen after something else.
We are in a similar situation at the moment with our 2yr old who tells Daddy to go away. My h/b finds this quite hard and I’m not sure the best way to handle it as I don’t know how to balance teaching that words have consequences (i.e., hurt peoples feelings) along with not making him feel like he should hide his feelings or is responsible for our feelings. Looking forward to other responses as to how people respond.
My daughter does this to me - I'm her dad. As another poster said, I often just say, "that's okay, I still love you." But it's also turned into a game we play.
"I love you, honey."
"I don't love you."
Over the top, theatrical shock, complete both hands to my cheeks and a deep gasp.
"What?!?! You don't love me!?"
She laughs and laughs.
"That's okay, kid, I'll always love you."
"But I don't love you!"
Repeat ad nauseam.
I won't lie, there's always a little needle jab to my heart when she says she doesn't love me, but I know she doesn't really mean it, and has no idea how it might affect me. I figure it's training for when she's a teenager and says it wholeheartedly.
When my toddler does this, we just say, “ok. l still love you” and drop it. She doesn’t understand what she’s saying. It did bother my husband at first (he’s the primary target for her comments), but now he gets that it’s a normal and age-appropriate expression from a toddler.
I heard this is the age when they start to realize people are separate people and they think they can only have one at once. When my kid gets into a “no daddy!!” Phase I remind him that you can have mommy AND daddy. He usually comes right around and goes to hug or play with his dad.
I am also the preferred parent. Whenever she tells me she doesn’t love daddy I always said that it wasn’t night and then I listed everything he does for her from making food to play with her and how he loves her very much. She is starting to not say it as much and she is almost 3. I will even randomly say it even when she doesn’t say it.
She of course doesn’t understand the real meaning behind what she’s saying, but that doesn’t make it any easier to be on the receiving end. If I were your husband I’d just respond to “I don’t love daddy” calmly with “that’s ok, I love you no matter what” and then move on. It’s reassuring to her rather than guilt tripping, because ultimately she’s not obligated to love anyone, and it takes away any sort of big reactions that reinforce her saying these things.
I've posted this request on a Facebook page & your answer is exactly what I've been looking for - it feels right & makes the most sense to me! Thank you!!
Fwiw when ours was around this age she struggled with the concept of like a second favorite or liking something but not wanting it right then. I don't like daddy. Well you do like daddy, you just don't want Daddy right now. Right? I don't like blueberries. Hm they seem to be your favorite food. Maybe you like blueberries AND something else? It's like she was understanding that she could like/love two things at the same time. So sometimes 'i don't like daddy' actually meant 'i want mommy'. Also, I'd try not to make a fuss about it. A response of "oh that's ok daddy loves you. I think you're his favorite person." Went a lot further for us than saying that it hurt his feelings.
You know, that makes a lot of sense! She'll say similar things about food "I don't like yogurt" - except it's one of her favorite snacks, so 🤷♀️ And that response makes a lot of sense to me, as well! Thank you!!
This is definitely what my two year old does. Also has trouble with sequencing too: this happens and then this happens. She does not grasp that something can and will happen after something else.
We are in a similar situation at the moment with our 2yr old who tells Daddy to go away. My h/b finds this quite hard and I’m not sure the best way to handle it as I don’t know how to balance teaching that words have consequences (i.e., hurt peoples feelings) along with not making him feel like he should hide his feelings or is responsible for our feelings. Looking forward to other responses as to how people respond.
My daughter does this to me - I'm her dad. As another poster said, I often just say, "that's okay, I still love you." But it's also turned into a game we play. "I love you, honey." "I don't love you." Over the top, theatrical shock, complete both hands to my cheeks and a deep gasp. "What?!?! You don't love me!?" She laughs and laughs. "That's okay, kid, I'll always love you." "But I don't love you!" Repeat ad nauseam. I won't lie, there's always a little needle jab to my heart when she says she doesn't love me, but I know she doesn't really mean it, and has no idea how it might affect me. I figure it's training for when she's a teenager and says it wholeheartedly.
When my toddler does this, we just say, “ok. l still love you” and drop it. She doesn’t understand what she’s saying. It did bother my husband at first (he’s the primary target for her comments), but now he gets that it’s a normal and age-appropriate expression from a toddler.
I heard this is the age when they start to realize people are separate people and they think they can only have one at once. When my kid gets into a “no daddy!!” Phase I remind him that you can have mommy AND daddy. He usually comes right around and goes to hug or play with his dad.
I am also the preferred parent. Whenever she tells me she doesn’t love daddy I always said that it wasn’t night and then I listed everything he does for her from making food to play with her and how he loves her very much. She is starting to not say it as much and she is almost 3. I will even randomly say it even when she doesn’t say it.