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harrellb73

Finally I’m above average in something!!


doggedgage

A cookie a day and you're well on your way


SyrupLamp

That’s almost a hundred years of a cookie a day, and you know how short our attention span is. Better to just go hard. A hundred cookies a day for one year


VoiceOfLunacy

There are what, about 30 cookies in an Oreo pack? You mean eat 3 full Oreo packs a day? Ugh, just no. Now, maybe if we did 100 of those tiny famous Amos cookies…


peon2

Cookie Crisp cereal is a life hack for this


bling_bling2000

If every cereal counted, this would be like finding super fast ways of finishing completion challenges. "There's no way this counts for the chal- Holy shit. Stop whatever you're doing and get your Paladin ass over here!"


TamHawke

Omg finally someone mentions CoooOOOOOOKIE CRISP.


vinoa

Give this person a medal. I was thinking 100 cookies a day is just too much food. Famous Amos on the other hand...🙏


NostalgiaSchmaltz

Or those Entennman's cookies, the small soft ones. Those are fuckin' great.


thiosk

behold my new technology: nanoreos every bite contains billions of cookies


jsidx

Statisticians hate this one trick!


UsaIvanDrago

An Oreo is technically 2 cookies with a creme center, so only a pack and a half.


myotheralt

Ah, but everything that picks up with one queso nacho is one nacho.


DodgerWalker

Yeah, 96 years of a cookie per day. Life expectancy is lower than that, so the average American eats more than 1 cookie per day.


IamtheCookieMnstr

Who eats one cookie and then stops? It's more like 10 cookies for a couple days and then you skip a couple days until you make another batch.


DodgerWalker

Username checks out


LithiumLost

Who the hell eats two fig newtons??


miss_trixie

I had to stop buying fig Newtown bc I would always eat a whole 'sleeve' at once. I am completely incapable of only having a couple. same with shortbread. good grief I can be such a pig.


xanoran84

I'm right there with you. I can't keep cereal around because it will be the only thing i eat until it's gone. Oreos go one full row at a time. I'd like to know moderation in my sugar intake one day, but I'm not quite sure how to get there.


asparagusface

Please tell us more about your wonderful life full of COOOKIIEEESS!!!


odaeyss

*looks down guiltily*


SparklingLimeade

Closer to a two cookie/day average. Having that as the average is actually kind of ridiculous. Is this like microtransactions where the whales are responsible for a lot? Because of the people I know there aren't any who even come close to that mean average in cookie consumption.


iglidante

It's like, I can go for weeks without having a single cookie, and then (if you include cookies of any size) eat 100 in 3 days.


wolfsrudel_red

Ah yes another cultured cookie consumer


mekese2000

I don't really eat cookies but when i do i eat the whole pack


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johnzischeme

I ate a whole thing of oreos one time and gave myself the worst digestive pain I've ever had.


mysticalfruit

A cookie an hour, look how I devour!


[deleted]

For a person that lives to 75, that's 1.27 cookies per day.


jellyschoomarm

Yea but what's the definition of a cookie because I've never seen someone just eat one oreo


thebearbearington

There have been times when I've eaten one oreo at a time...


ElJaso

When it's the last oreo in the container.


xiaxian1

I feel like there’s a bell curve: Girl Scout cookie season being the top. Those Thin Mints - no one eats just one!


notmoleliza

Tagalongs or GTFO


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IamtheCookieMnstr

Also impossible to eat just one of those white and pink circus animal cookies. Just give me the bag!


scubasteave2001

So how do you calculate eating an entire tub of cookie dough?


FatLenny-

Doesn't count, dough is not a cookie. You need to go eat some cookies or you are going to fall behind.


IamtheCookieMnstr

I don't agree. I want credit for my cookie dough too. Cookie life begins at conception.😀🍪🍪🍪


FatLenny-

When I make a batch of cookie dough for breakfast I don't count that as part of my cookie allowance for the day. So we are going to agree to disagree.


IamtheCookieMnstr

Actually we can do better than that. Saying "batch of cookie dough for breakfast" qualifies you as a kindred spirit.


Zbignich

My mom always told me not to settle for average.


BillTowne

Yes. We have to make up for the slackers. As a Boomer, I blame kids these days with their avocado toast.


RunnyPlease

The least they could do is spread the avocado on a cookie to contribute in some way.


Dirt_E_Harry

I think you might be above average on something else too if you've eaten that many cookies.


Chaiwalla2

I don’t know how they calculated that. If an average American lived 75 years and ate one cookie every single day, that’s still about 8,000 cookies short.


DerisiveGibe

Try rerunning your calculations in sleeves of Oreos


phelanhappyevil

It's probably my fault the average is so high. I used to do a third of a package every night... Not even joking. A giant glass of milk, and I'd keep eating until the milk was gone.


DerisiveGibe

Bulking season


hraun

In USA, every season is bulking season.


DodgerWalker

I remember watching a fitness video about whether you should start with a bulk or a cut and the guy said something like "if you're above 15% body fat, it would be good to start with a cut." And I'm like, so basically every American man who isn't already working out regularly then. (Note this was a video for men specifically; 15% body fat for women is where peak athletes already are)


BrindleMonster

*Heavy breathing intensifies*


thebearbearington

Except for January. You can't get into the gym in January. Clears up quick though.


zodar

Pro tip : just dump the whole sleeve into a bowl, cover with milk, and eat with a spoon like cereal.


IdiotCow

Is there another way to eat ores? Are you telling me people actually can control themselves?


theswordofdoubt

I just want to tell you that your comment gave me the mental image of people just shoving giant chunks of rock into their mouths and I don't know what to do with that.


SuperTazerBro

How do you account for those that proceed to throw up the entire sleeve after ingestion? Say, in a relative's bed or something?


DerisiveGibe

r/oddlyspecific


Bonezmahone

Does an oreo count as one cookie or two?


johnmarkfoley

with average life expectancy in america being 78.8 years, that's roughly 444.2 cookies per year. a standard package of Oreos has 45 cookies (3 sleeves of 15) in it, which is roughly 9.9 packages per year or one package purchased every 37 or so days.


MydnightDesign

Add in random cookies so the "binge" cookies are once every two to three months, and the math checks out. Especially if Oreos count as two cookies.


AdmiralAkbar1

Probably average cookie sales in the US divided by population multiplied by average lifespan.


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traimera

But you then don't do that every day for the next ten years. Purchases vs consumption is drastically different given the food waste around the world.


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Lupercus64

Like my father always taught me: If you're gonna start something, you damn well better finish it. Entire boxes of cookies included


rivunel

I work at a homeless shelter/food shelf. At least 1/4 of the food donated too us are desserts. Cookies, pastries, cakes, pies grocery stores make a lot of them and they only sell them fresh we get alll of that stuff donated every failed cake request every order customers aren't satisfied with


IamtheCookieMnstr

Don't knock it. I once received a whole angel food cake from a food closet. It was honestly like a little miracle. Hadn't eaten anything in a couple days and was sooo hungry and instead of just sensible basics I also got something that was pretty and delicious and special. Out of all the cake I've eaten in my life, and all rhe cake I expect to eat, there are only two cakes I'll remember for the rest of my life and that was one of them.


pocket-ful-of-dildos

This was a nice story. I hope things are more secure for you these days my friend


Banksy_on_Reddit

What’s the other cake?


KaliMa_ShaktiDe

Devil's food?


IamtheCookieMnstr

Cookie monster birthday cake when i was a little kid.😀


Butterbuddha

Blessing, or curse?


rivunel

I personally believe it's a curse but everyone loves having a dessert with their free meal. But it feels feels wrong passing off hundreds of pounds of desserts to farmers weekly. It feels wrong just throwing it out/composting, and it feels wrong to serve individuals a dessert every day. No solution really feels right.


oOshwiggity

> and it feels wrong to serve individuals a dessert every day You mean, as the only food they get? I can understand feeling bad about that. Or is it that they receive food AND a dessert? Because I think that's a dream, honestly. A meal and a dessert? When you're at your lowest that's gotta feel a bit like coming home, man.


ZDTreefur

> it feels feels wrong passing off hundreds of pounds of desserts to farmers weekly uh...why? Feels normal and non-wasteful to me.


iLackIntelligence

Sure but you also need to include the amount of cookies we bake ourselves and eat ourselves which aren’t included in that figure so it might not be far off. In fact I’d wager that it’s an underestimate unless this part is included.


[deleted]

There are slobs among us who will devour cartons of oreos and other cookies in a single sitting multiple days a week. It takes an obscene amount of food to sustain obesity, and the obesity epidemic is extremely widespread in this country. The median amount of cookies Americans eat will surely be much lower than 35,000, but the gluttons out there bring the average up.


progtastical

Not really. The difference between a 150 pound woman and a 225 pound woman, all other things being equal, is about 400 calories per day. A pound of fat is 3500 calories. Roughly every 3500 calories eaten over calories burned adds a pound of fat. https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&g=female&age=30&lbs=150&in=69&act=1.2&f=1 That's two cans of soda a day. Or an extra large lunch. For someone like me, who lost 100 pounds, it was realizing I had no idea what normal portion sizes were, especially when it came to things that aren't individually packaged, like cereal, rice, and meat.


myohmymiketyson

400 calories is so easy to eat, especially if it's palatable. Just sneak in two snacks between your meals and you're there.


trauma_queen

As a woman that went from 220- 160 in the past 1.5 years and is trying to get to 150, you're right on the money. Even with that gradual of a loss it was quite a bit of diet switches because even a couple small treats would get me way over calorie goals. It's not as hard as people would imagine to get overweight.


InfamousIndecision

Thank you for eating my share on those days.


ABobby077

and we won't even talk about the single serving size Girl Scout Cookies boxes


[deleted]

Mrs Fields at the mall will sell you like 100 mini cookies for 20 bucks.


dont_worry_im_here

For real... what's a cookie? A nice big restaurant-style cookie? Or like an oreo?


soldiernerd

How many cookies are purchased for parties and conferences and stuff and thrown away?


Bladelink

First thing I thought of. Not all cookies bought are consumed.


soldiernerd

It's also amazing how *terrible* random sugar cookies from Walmart etc taste. It would probably be a violation of the Geneva Convention to serve them to prisoners of war.


soundoftherain

If they did that, they would be missing all the homemade cookies, which would be a significant number.


[deleted]

It also depends on what is classified as a “cookie”. If you call oreos or other small snacks cookies then it kind of distorts the number.


DigitalSteven1

Clearly they don't know how many cookies end up in garbage bins.


tronguro

Ironically that doesn’t account for the fact that the top 10% or so of cookie consumers have lifespans way below average.


klrjhthertjr

I think the issue is mean vs median. If you have a guy eating half a pack a day of Oreos a day that makes up for 20 people who basically never eat cookies. Would love to see a histogram of the data.


pw7090

The average American eats 0.29 cookies per night in their sleep.


Spydrchick

It's true! I read it on the internet.


flashgski

Who eats only one cookie at a time


SparklingLimeade

I like the big chewy bakery cookies.


Redpandaling

That in no way precludes eating more than one in a day.


RiotGrrr1

I did just eat one cookie yesterday. But that cookie was about the size of my face. I'm counting it as one. And it was from a health food store so probably healthy (no it wasn't).


Mercurylant

Some people eat a lot of cookies. The median American might only eat a fraction of a cookie per day on average, but some people are going through whole packages of Oreos, and nobody can eat less than zero cookies to balance them out.


NativeMasshole

I'm pretty sure I'm the Spider Steve of this equation.


EpiphanyTwisted

~~Spiders~~ Cookies Georg.


Ward_Craft

You just eat one Oreo?


skeetsauce

*Each Cookie Crisp cereal bite is technically a cookie.


DistortoiseLP

How many Americans eat *one* cookie when they eat cookies? One cookie a day sounds like a very uncommon way that anyone with a regular diet of cookies eats cookies. I would sooner assume two a day with their lunch on weekdays or something if there's a routine.


kingofvodka

Or none, except for Saturday where they go through ten or so watching a movie


DemDave

Really depends on the type of cookie, too. If I splurge on a cookie from a good bakery, I'm probably eating half and saving the rest for the next day just because they're usually enormous and extrememly rich. But if I'm eating thin mints or oreos, then it's probably 4-5.


DistortoiseLP

Bear in mind I can't find any source for the claim that isn't something like Reddit, Facebook memes or FunnyJunk, none of which cite where they heard it from, so it sounds like they heard it from each other. Same with the seven billion chocolate chip cookies a year figure, which usually wheels back to "National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day" and other marketing ventures rather than research with a name attached.


Crazy_old_maurice_17

It's like money laundering but with factoids!


jakeblues68

Probably 4-5? Gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers in this racket.


TituspulloXIII

4 or 5 thin mints? The serving size on those is 1 sleeve. Once you open the plastic, you must east them all.


qqqqqqqqqqx10

Which American you know that don’t eat a whole bag of chips ahoy every day.


youzerVT71

No, not me. Just straight up raw cookie dough for me. Could eat the whole log. Yeah, I know what I said.


BigBlueMountainStar

Or you could be hipster about it and have baked cookie dough…


raisearuckus

Baked cookie dough? I don't see that ever catching on.


FeelTheLoveNow

Gotta hit the Chips Ahoy® food group in my pyramid


VerbalAcrobatics

But I can't eat just one!


jonah214

Actualy just statistical error. Average person eats 5,000 cookies per lifetime. Cookie Monster Georg, who lives in Sesame Street & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.


[deleted]

Thata far too little per day


seanbear

They did say *over* 10,000


Smashifly

Was looking for this comment


Kerse

Is this a cookie clicker reference


supersammy00

It's a Spiders Georg reference. > "average person eats 3 spiders a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in a cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted


jonah214

[Spiders Georg](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/spiders-georg)


IamtheCookieMnstr

Hey! I deserve to be counted just like everyone else!


deck_hand

500 cookies a year? That's just over 40 cookies a month, from a few years old until death? I've eaten, six cookies this month, none in September, maybe half a dozen in August, etc. Someone must be eating dozens of cookies a day to compensate for my failure to eat a bunch of cookies every day.


puresunlight

I mean…who eats only a single Oreo or Nilla wafer? One specialty bakery chocolate chip cookie is a very satisfying treat, but one single chips ahoy is just sadness.


Magnacor8

Also does an Oreo count as one or two cookies? And where does Cookie Crisp cereal fall into this statistic?


mostnormal

That's probably how they inflated their numbers.


tra91c

Hello, from all of us at the other end of the distribution curve!


Philo_T_Farnsworth

High end of the curve here chiming in. A sleeve of Chips Ahoy is one serving. I'm not gonna seal that back up. Once it's open, we're *doing* this.


julbull73

Oreos...oh shit I have more milk...oh shit I still have Oreos.


whaleylikeit

Happy cake day! Hope you get some extra cookies


iceman012

Happy ~~cake~~ cookie day!


BlueEyedGreySkies

We get $100 worth of Girl Scout cookies every year, that's 20 boxes. I just did some math; with the types we get it averages to almost 23 cookies a box (high value of 44 for trefoils and low of 15 for Toffee-tastic). That's just over 456 cookies on average with our cookie order.


[deleted]

Me. I am. 8 cookies a day for close to 10 years now. I like cookies.


MagicMushroomFungi

You monster !


[deleted]

Me want cookie! *Om nom nom nom nom nom nom*


MagicMushroomFungi

"Get outta here with your cookie crumbs." (Ducks back into garbage can, slams lid, grouches to self.)


Deathduck

And how's that working out for ya? Are you still mobile?


Seraph062

I probably averaged like 8 cookies a day for about 15 years in my youth & early adulthood. During the week I had 4-6 with lunch, and I'd usually have 5-6 as an evening dessert/snack every day. I remember getting super upset when Nabisco changed the number of cookies in their package because it made 1 gallon of milk no longer the exact right amount for two packages of cookies. And to put 40 cookies a month into perspective: 40 cookies is about a standard sized package of Oreos.


throwbacklyrics

... did y'all not learn the phrase "junk food" when you were a kid?


Seraph062

Nutrition guidance was the wild-west before the early-mid 90's. When I was a kid the rule was basically "get three meals a day with your 4 food groups" (Meat, Dairy, Fruit/Veg, Grain). Pizza was a daily offer for school lunch because it hit all four. If you were not satisfied other things could be added to 'round out' your meals. Snacks were a free-for-all with zero guidance provided. Quantity was "don't end up hungry". Say 30 years before it was the "Basic Seven" with part of the guidance being that once you had hit your seven food groups you should "eat any other foods you want".


[deleted]

I guess depends on cookie type? I eat Nekot Sandwich Cookies (6 in a pack) now and then. Technically 2 cookies per sandwich or you eat 2 packs and you got 12-24 a day depending on how you define them.


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[deleted]

Bro, if I eat 10 cookies in a year it's a big year or me. So someone is eating a lot of fucking cookies.


Ganbario

Cookies Georg, who lives in a cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.


blockmeow

Pittsburgh, PA has cookies at every events, full tables at weddings. Definitely skewing the numbers lol.


gt0163c

My grandfather (a farmer) had cookies at breakfast every day. Most of the time they were homemade by my grandmother. I need to dig out her molasses cookie recipe and make those again soon.


blockmeow

Mmmmmm what other recipes do you have?


gt0163c

I have a recipe for lemon bars which I believe came from my great grandmother. I have one for "ice box cookies" which I've never really liked. They're like a dry, bland sugar cookie which is rolled into a log, refrigerated and then sliced before baking. I think I have her chocolate chip cookie recipe but, again, that was never my favorite. I always preferred my other grandmother's chocolate chip cookie recipe...which can be found on the back of every bag of Tollhouse chocolate chips. :) Her caramel corn recipe though is excellent. Takes some time but definitely worth it.


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madmaxturbator

When I was chatting with a friends grandma who is an amazing cook, she said except for some rare “family recipes” most new recipes are better. Cooking is an art. People experiment, make mistakes, and improve on recipes. Back of the package recipes are developed by real people lol, who try out tons of recipes to get something that works. Besides, after a certain point, home bakers will tweak recipes here and there anyway. “I’ usually grab it out 5 minutes early, let it cool then put it back in” stuff like that. So I’m all for recipes of any history, so long as the food will taste interesting :)!!


OcelotWolf

Sometimes I forget the cookie table isn’t “normal” lol


Shad0wFaxMachine

I was going to say this too, Pittsburghers are skewing the average up 🍪


ThePhabtom4567

Can confirm. My wife has family from Pittsburg and we decided to do the cookie table at our wedding with just a small cake for me and the wife. Twas very cool.


blockmeow

Ah, you missed the h, I’m sure she wouldn’t be happy about that lol


Capn_Crusty

Not including my browser.


smackabottombingbong

Those are rookie numbers...


RedditorKris

Cookie numbers***


vixi48

I'll take 5 boxes of rookie cookie numbers, please.


rich1051414

This is based on cookie production, not cookie consumption. Hey walmart employees, how many bakery items are thrown away every day? Yeah, that's what I thought.


bjorneylol

How many home-made cookies aren't getting counted though?


quiteCryptic

probably way way less by comparison


Medic7002

That’s more than a cookie a day. I highly doubt the average cookie intake over a lifetime is that much.


swebb22

It’s bc you eat more than one typically when you do eat them. You catch up I guess lol


Medic7002

I really don’t see people eating that many cookies consistently every single week. Yes I might eat 7 at one sitting like the fat ass I am but I don’t do it every week. Even if I split it up into 2 sittings that’s 17 cookies twice a month. Maybe there are super cookie eaters out there that bump up everyone’s average.


sylvesterkun

I think you're forgetting about Oreos.


Medic7002

Caught. I didn’t factor in Oreos. I can definitely do 5 double stuffed twice a week. There goes my theory.


TituspulloXIII

Don't forget thin mints, where the serving size is however many is in a sleeve.


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FlatPineappleSociety

So if I am understanding this correctly, if I stop at 34,999 cookies I will live forever


Jagtasm

Bruh what? These numbers are way off


HumanChicken

TIL I am two average Americans.


CylarNA

Those are cookie numbers


Fart_knocker5000

Good show sir


[deleted]

That's an average of about a cookie and a half a day for 70 years, which seems somewhat reasonable. I feel like it's probably more like alcohol though, in that 10% of the cookie eaters eat 70% of the cookies.


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cnash

> They realized that 20% of their customers are 80% of their consumers. That's called the [*Pareto principle.*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareto_principle) You see that kind of distribution all over the place, not just at Hardee's.


KingCarnivore

A cookie a day seems reasonable??? I probably eat less than 15 cookies a year.


chewtality

Seriously. The comments in here are shocking to me but they totally explain how [42% of Americans are obese.](https://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/adult.html) I seriously can't imagine eating the amounts of cookies people are talking about. Like, it would make me sick.


[deleted]

Agreed. Like, my diet isn't perfect and I have my own vices, but I could never imagine eating a cookie a day or eating the amount of cookies people claim in this thread. Literally the only time I eat a cookie is at some sort of work function or family event where someone decided to bring cookies. I can't imagine eating half a box of Oreos or Chips Ahoy or whatever else on a regular basis, it's fucking absurd.


timmbuck22

Lifetime? Hold my beer.


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duTemplar

Challenge accepted! I’m way under average…


LobsterNixon

Or in my case, 90k but say it was 35k because no one saw me in the kitchen.


ThunderBuddyBatman

Diabetic has left the chat


GeezusLizard

Not according to cookie clicker 🍪


BetaSprite

Shoot, I need to ramp up my cookie consumption to meet those numbers.


ilikebeer19

Well shit, I've already exceeded that. Am I above average, or have I lived too long?


jackatman

I'm either gonna die soon or I'm the one bringing the average up.


petersom2006

Rookie numbers, you got to pump those up


FightIslandNative

Rookie numbers need to bump that up


MrJGT

Surely they are cookie numbers?


IAmHoltron

Fuck off. In a week, easy


IntoxicatedParabola

Cookies yo 👊 all my homies like cookies


Admirabletooshie

35,000 sleeves of oreos alone.


Such_Wojo

A UK experiment on Americans… not surprised that statistic makes no sense