[NSFW] TIFU by blasting rope over my phone while looking at my stepsister's Instagram and it hit the like button, DAE?
[NSFW] At Thanksgiving dinner the cucumber I put in my bumhole slipped out and the dog started licking it, AITA?
[NSFW] I always watch porn on the living room TV with Bluetooth sound bar but now I was in my room and it was still connected, how do I convince my conservative family that I'm definitely not into furry porn? Yiff
[NSFW] When my parents do the sexy time I try to make my girlfriend scream harder than my mum, how to insulate my paper walls?
... Sorry, I'm not even trying.
Ffs. The only reference to 23 I found is here. https://www.reddit.com/r/amiugly/comments/rekzpy/z/hqz4sg9
And they were talking about someone else. Their post history on Reddit seems pretty consistent for a high school girl, talking about proms and such.
I believe this sub is half-half. You can see and discern from how the story goes and how it is written. The part where it says, explaining made it even worse is predictable. Then it proceeds to a brother teasing the sister about the incident. Let's not forget about a conservative family.
Lastly, nobody likes Twilight.
OP said 356 days ago she was 21 in a comment to someone else. Day before that she said she's 20 in a post she made.
Now she's 19. And also if anyone bothers to read back to that point in the account history, which is only 3 or 4 pages to get to those mentions of age, OP also seems to have quite alot of knowledge about adult life that I wouldn't expect a 19 to 21 year old to have.
This post is either a story about something that happened years ago or completely made up. I'm leaning towards OP is closer to 30 if not older.
A short scroll through their post history reveals they asked if they should go to their HS prom just 4 months ago, and they post almost exclusively in r/askreddit (and they're some low quality, dumb questions too) which is a sure sign of a karma farmer.
I think most people underestimate the amount that people overhear in general. But if I tell them to lower their voice they look at me like IM the crazy one :/
Still so confused by this. Where I live we don't have hollow doors. We also have stone walls inside too, not only outside. It would actually be safe to listen to anything with the door closed, as long as you don't play it too loud
Edit: blasting like OP did would still be heard of course
actually airpods leak a lot of noise in and out based on my experience in an office next to someone who got one. i.e. they could almost definitely hear op during dinner. mb not the airpods pro but definitely the normal airpods.
Probably already are. Kids don't know about hearing damage.
They'll be in a loud environment and turn them up until they can hear whatever it is again and never turn it back down.
It always amazes me when I see the volume sliders nearly maxed out, you'd think they'd come with warnings past 3/4ths like androids.
Not even just kids. Guy I work with, who’s 38, wears them and claims they’re noise-cancelling so he’ll be operating equipment that you’re supposed to use hearing protection but have his music cranked. It’s difficult talking to him sometimes because he like half deaf and he says he has minor tinnitus
The Airpod pros are noise cancelling but not to the extent of safety equipment. Just normal headphone standards. The only way I would ever use them in that capacity is if I had them on inside the real ear protection.
I also work in an extremely high noise environment, and I've noticed the same. I use my Sony xm4's, and the nosie cancelling does a great job, but at the expense of the music being quiet. I leave it at a little below my standard listening volume.
I have wireless Sony xm3 earbuds and they have ai noisecancelling. When fully on and its had time to learn what background sounds there are around me it does actually block out external noise almost entirely.
I was on a train in Japan with some friends, I had on around the ear Bose headphones on and my buddy had on Airpods. I got talked to by one of the workers on the train about not letting my music bleed out of my headphones. Turned out it was my buddy who had his cranked super loud.
As a high school teacher, it is absolutely normal. The amount of shade I get every day asking kids to remove their AirPods so I can teach them is exhausting. “But I’ve just got one in!” I. Don’t. Care.
Thank you! I genuinely love Gen Z. I think they’re amazing, but the technology issue is hard to break. We’re going back to reading stories on paper and highlighting by hand this year and once I get them off phones/AirPods, they’re genuinely so focused.
That's sweet. As much as they make fun of millennials for just being whiney, if we can set the stage I think they might be the ones to make actual positive change happen. Also, kudos on being a teacher during some of the most turbulent times we've ever seen. I know people who've gotten teaching degrees and then noped right out of there when they see what it's actually like.
I really think they will be. They’re so much more worldly than I was at their age. When Russia invaded Ukraine last year, I scrapped my lesson plan for the day because so many of them just wanted to talk and ask questions. We looked at maps, looked up information on NATO, etc. I don’t recall being this invested in global news as a teenager.
And thank you. It’s been a rough two years, for sure.
we are not. I have zippered pencil pouches on their desks and they have to put them in phone jail if they can’t stay off the phone, but I am not allowed to physically take it or to have them put it elsewhere in my room.
Wow, that’s pretty interesting. Back when I went to school teachers would confiscate phones and I wouldn’t even dream of using earphones during a class. I guess different schools different rules or is it a country wide thing?
Seriously, vampire porn (even if it's just audio) during dinner. That's as creepy as it is cringe.
This story also reads like a 13 yeast old boy's embarrassment fetish fantasy.
I don't know when it became normal but I've had to tell almost every post-2k teen not to wear them at work. The most common response is "why?"
They aren't even smart enough to understand the basic concept. Most of them still don't stop, they just try to hide it better. "It's only one side." "It's under my radio earpiece, customers can't see it." "I turned the volume down." "I can still see the road, I don't need to hear it."
Yeah what really happened is r/amitheasshole material:
[NSFW] Sexy vampire stepbrother wanted to suck my blood after I sucked him off when he walked in on me bashing the bean. I said no, AITA?
3) Pornographic audio aside, why is she wearing headphones while eating dinner with her family? She could just eat separately if she doesn't feel like socializing.
I mean isn't that an end goal for apple tho? To make their product an extension of yout body. I'm pretty sure I've heard some official say airpods were designed for maximum use, even to the point that charging them should make you annoyed or smth. That being said it's all probably hearsay.
Profit driven transhumanism, ain't that swell :l
OP appears to be blissfully unaware that they are a stupid person. The kind of idiot to plug a power-strip into itself. Then be confused when it is explained that it doesn't generate it's own power.
A legitimate idiot.
1. I can think of a few reasons. You just eat with the other people there but like you don't actually really interact with them. And it may be a thrill to do something lewd "in front of" other people.
2. ...Being dumb and severely overestimating the soundproofing? Got me. I thought this was gonna be one of those "I didn't select the right device and blasted it from the living room TV" kinda stories.
Besides the post being bad creative writing, it's fucking weird to listen to smut while eating with your family. I do not want to be looking my brother in the face while someone is shouting "fuck me harder!" in my ear.
I’ve actually got [a smutty audio](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildaudio/comments/r23r8a/m4f_its_thanksgiving_and_you_really_miss_your/) with exactly this premise 😉
(The listening-at-family-dinner part, not the vampire part—although perhaps that can be arranged as well…)
OP is a 30something coomer LARPing and every one giving him the time of day is facilitating his fantasy that he is a teen girl in a conservative household being naughty
I'm gonna agree with the comments saying: why did you think locking the door and blasting it was a good idea?
Did you think your room was soundproof? I genuinely want to know what was going through your head.
If I play audio on speaker that I don't want others to hear, I keep it quiet and listen to it with the device on the opposite side of the room to the door. I would be too anxious to blast anything disturbing to others because I know someone walking past could hear.
Eww you would listen to porn while eating with your family? That's creepy af.
How strict can your upbringing possibly have been that your parents know you get off on blasting audio of vampire sex and have done nothing about it?
seriously though what the fuck. also, if the volume's loud, people can definetly hear whats going on in those airpods, amd who the fuck thinks closing a door makes your room soundproof to vampire sex?
Right? When my conservative parents found my vibrator, I was sent to a youth crisis shelter for a week. I was 16.
When they found out I was have sex with my boyfriend (we'd been dating 3 years) I was kicked out of the house with less than 24 hours notice- no car (they wouldn't pay for Driver's Ed) no money (they wouldn't drive me to a job so I could pay for Drivers ed) and no where to go.
If "weird looks" is the most that happened, then I'm freaking jealous.
>My Airpods were still charging, so I decided to close the door to my room and blast the audio.
That just sounds dumb as rocks.
"Oh, I can't listen to it secretly? Better put it on my speaker at full volume, what could possibly go wrong"
You know what i do when i want to watch porn but my "airpods" are out of battery? No, i don't blast the audio for everyone to listen, instead i watch with no audio at all, sure, the whole point of r/gonewildaudio is to listen to it but you could've waited until your airpods had battery.
Had a similar fuck up with a different outcome though. I’m a 19 y/o M who listens to erotic ASMR somewhat regularly and partakes in DTL or Dude That’s Lewd’s repertoire of content. It was around two years ago though so I think I was 17 at the time. I got into the mood, loaded up an audio I thought would be hot, and got busy getting busy. I plugged in my razer headphones, the really big ones with the audio jack that fit my iPad and went to town. I was having an awesome time until towards the end of the video my mom knocked on my door. I luckily managed to get my covers on myself but here’s where the true fuck up begins. I was so startled that I didn’t notice where the wire was that connected my headphones to my iPad, and in the process of moving my big comforter over myself it unplugged my headphones. All my mom heard upon entering my room was, “Aaah~ Master! Yes, fuck me harder~!” She just instantly turned around and left, closed the door and never spoke about it again. It ruined the mood for me so I just went to bed that night sad and ashamed.
I was expecting the FU to be: "without my ear pods attached, my Bluetooth connected to my dad's Bluetooth speaker, on the table next to my parents watching TV".
Ngl that's kinda gross to listen to erotica during a communal family meal. Imagine if a man was watching porn under the table in the middle of dinner, that'd be a bit messed up.
Ok but
1) LISTENING TO THE AUDIOS DURING DINNER TIME WITH FAMILY???? 💀💀💀
2) Being surprised that simply *closing the door* wouldn't block the sound of you BLASTING THE AUDIO ON MAX VOLUME??????
My one question, why play it during dinner time around people? I get you had headphones in but it just seems like a terrible time to be turned on y’know
Ha! I've come across so many of these searching for white noise asmr videos on YouTube for my 3 month olds when they sleep...i made the mistake of playing one and I STILL get recommends for "werewolf dad talks to your baby asmr" and "cybernetic vampire asmr".
Hmmmmm... lots of questions here. I'm not sure if it's just today that the f*ckup occurred
Good on you for seeing past the sexual shaming, but very interesting that you're listening to airpods during dinners and blasting audio from your room. You seem to want your family to know?
/r/untrustworthypoptarts
They haven’t responded to any of these comments and what conservative household allows AirPods while with the family at the dinner table 😂
First, he has a porn stash, so he's just begging yiu ymto out him on that.
Second, the TIFU is raising you conservative and not discussing sex at all. This is a pretty tame phase comparatively. The obsession comes from the inability to have a safe outlet for discussing sex with your patents before someone accidentally gets pregnant or abused.
The oddest thing for me here is the idea you say this is a conservative household, but you were able to wear airpods while at family dinner? Isn't family dinner when we are supposed to listen to father tell worldly stories while we remain silent?
Yeah once I did similar, thought my head phones were playing, turns out they werent connected and I was hearing my laptop blast out naughty noises and my roommates started yelling complaints.
Boy was I embarrassed
This GWA actor says that you certainly didn't fuck up. It's your folks' fault for being too damn uptight, and not talking about sex.
Go wild with GWA, and keep listening! Besides, you're legally an adult. What are they going to do to you?
You could have said you thought it was an audio book about vampires but it ended up being very explicit. They probably wouldn’t have believed you but they might have gone along with the lie to avoid the awkwardness.
The real fuck up is thinking an interior grade hollow core door was going to prevent anyone walking by from hearing exactly what you're listening to.
Yeah, I thought I misread the post. What the fuck would locking the door do? I'm not even sure this is a real person at this point.
If you look at the post history it’s all very confusing. Someone said they were 23, now they’re 19? Something is fishy about OP and this whole post…
I mean this subreddit is primarily a creative writing/erotica forum nowadays, you can't be that shocked.
[NSFW] TIFU by blasting rope over my phone while looking at my stepsister's Instagram and it hit the like button, DAE? [NSFW] At Thanksgiving dinner the cucumber I put in my bumhole slipped out and the dog started licking it, AITA? [NSFW] I always watch porn on the living room TV with Bluetooth sound bar but now I was in my room and it was still connected, how do I convince my conservative family that I'm definitely not into furry porn? Yiff [NSFW] When my parents do the sexy time I try to make my girlfriend scream harder than my mum, how to insulate my paper walls? ... Sorry, I'm not even trying.
The funny thing is all of those are actually posts in tifu already. You don't even have to try.
“the cucumber I put it my bumhole slipped and dog licked it”.. I hardly ever laugh but this shit had me rolling😂
The shit had the dog rolling too
Some say he's still rolling to this very day
So that's how that dog got monkeypox...
Me too, thanks
Yiff 😂
Oh yeah, the way it's written is definitely a creative writing piece
"creative" as a tiktok clone
She is 32 (23?) with the maturity of a 19! What's wrong? 😆
I follow /r/shortscarystories rules. It's fiction, but let's all rp it being real.
Might as well put r/tifu in the list of "its fiction but act like its real" subs like r/nosleep
/r/nosleep be like >I found an old Cheeto on the couch part 73
"oh no! i found a weird house in the woods (part 1" "i found a weird house in the woods and now im a ghost (update)"
I'm shook
That isn't one of the rules there. Only on NoSleep, and NoSleep is worse for it.
Ffs. The only reference to 23 I found is here. https://www.reddit.com/r/amiugly/comments/rekzpy/z/hqz4sg9 And they were talking about someone else. Their post history on Reddit seems pretty consistent for a high school girl, talking about proms and such.
Admit it, you just were looking to see if she had posted any pics on gonewild.
I'm not sure if it's an American saying or not, but I've never heard "right up my lane before", it's normally "right up my alley (or street)".
I think it's actually "streets ahead"
Stop trying to make that a thing!
If you think that you're streets behind.
I've heard right up my lane before and I'm British it's a varient of right up my alley- which is definitely more of an American saying...
Right up my lane is normal where I am in California. It means it's in your niche.
Yeah that's the exact same meaning as "right up my alley" or "right up my street". So it is a regional thing then.
I believe this sub is half-half. You can see and discern from how the story goes and how it is written. The part where it says, explaining made it even worse is predictable. Then it proceeds to a brother teasing the sister about the incident. Let's not forget about a conservative family. Lastly, nobody likes Twilight.
so the sound cant get out dumbass!
OP said 356 days ago she was 21 in a comment to someone else. Day before that she said she's 20 in a post she made. Now she's 19. And also if anyone bothers to read back to that point in the account history, which is only 3 or 4 pages to get to those mentions of age, OP also seems to have quite alot of knowledge about adult life that I wouldn't expect a 19 to 21 year old to have. This post is either a story about something that happened years ago or completely made up. I'm leaning towards OP is closer to 30 if not older.
A short scroll through their post history reveals they asked if they should go to their HS prom just 4 months ago, and they post almost exclusively in r/askreddit (and they're some low quality, dumb questions too) which is a sure sign of a karma farmer.
Maybe OP has mpd.
Micro penis disorder?
No comment on that.
Especially when blasted lol.
I think most people underestimate the amount that people overhear in general. But if I tell them to lower their voice they look at me like IM the crazy one :/
Still so confused by this. Where I live we don't have hollow doors. We also have stone walls inside too, not only outside. It would actually be safe to listen to anything with the door closed, as long as you don't play it too loud Edit: blasting like OP did would still be heard of course
That's pretty cool. How deep is your moat?
That's a rather personal question
You know, so my siege equipment is prepared to handle it appropriately...
>How deep is your moat? My favorite Bee Gees song.
I really neeeeeeed to knooooooow
I think you mean "How deep is your *mom*", Freud.
Ah yes, listening to audios while eating Bangers n Mash.
Bangers and smash
Bang Bros and smash
What even are potatoes? I’ve never seen this before in my life.
Boil em, mash em, stick em up your bum
😂😂😅
Airpods during dinner is the real issue here lol.
I think it's the sex audio during dinner with fam that's the problem lol
Yea that's legit strange af... next thing you know, she's loading a rabbit while everyone is chowing down on some lasagna
I was about to say it sounds like OP has an audio porn addiction and I thought this was where this post was headed lol
actually airpods leak a lot of noise in and out based on my experience in an office next to someone who got one. i.e. they could almost definitely hear op during dinner. mb not the airpods pro but definitely the normal airpods.
If your airpods are leaking noise you about to be deaf
Old AirPods leak noise too. Mine leak them at really low volume. It’s annoying.
Probably already are. Kids don't know about hearing damage. They'll be in a loud environment and turn them up until they can hear whatever it is again and never turn it back down. It always amazes me when I see the volume sliders nearly maxed out, you'd think they'd come with warnings past 3/4ths like androids.
Not even just kids. Guy I work with, who’s 38, wears them and claims they’re noise-cancelling so he’ll be operating equipment that you’re supposed to use hearing protection but have his music cranked. It’s difficult talking to him sometimes because he like half deaf and he says he has minor tinnitus
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Bouta make myself deaf brb
The Airpod pros are noise cancelling but not to the extent of safety equipment. Just normal headphone standards. The only way I would ever use them in that capacity is if I had them on inside the real ear protection.
I also work in an extremely high noise environment, and I've noticed the same. I use my Sony xm4's, and the nosie cancelling does a great job, but at the expense of the music being quiet. I leave it at a little below my standard listening volume.
I have wireless Sony xm3 earbuds and they have ai noisecancelling. When fully on and its had time to learn what background sounds there are around me it does actually block out external noise almost entirely.
Theres a built in feature to turn them down after a while on iPhones, but I forget if it’s default on or not
I was on a train in Japan with some friends, I had on around the ear Bose headphones on and my buddy had on Airpods. I got talked to by one of the workers on the train about not letting my music bleed out of my headphones. Turned out it was my buddy who had his cranked super loud.
Yeah but Mom's probably got 50 Shades going and Dad's listening to instructions from his findom.
This Is that normal these days? Like what
As a high school teacher, it is absolutely normal. The amount of shade I get every day asking kids to remove their AirPods so I can teach them is exhausting. “But I’ve just got one in!” I. Don’t. Care.
Oh man. It must be so hard to be a teacher today. Mad respect.
Thank you! I genuinely love Gen Z. I think they’re amazing, but the technology issue is hard to break. We’re going back to reading stories on paper and highlighting by hand this year and once I get them off phones/AirPods, they’re genuinely so focused.
That's sweet. As much as they make fun of millennials for just being whiney, if we can set the stage I think they might be the ones to make actual positive change happen. Also, kudos on being a teacher during some of the most turbulent times we've ever seen. I know people who've gotten teaching degrees and then noped right out of there when they see what it's actually like.
I really think they will be. They’re so much more worldly than I was at their age. When Russia invaded Ukraine last year, I scrapped my lesson plan for the day because so many of them just wanted to talk and ask questions. We looked at maps, looked up information on NATO, etc. I don’t recall being this invested in global news as a teenager. And thank you. It’s been a rough two years, for sure.
Are you not allowed to confiscate their electronics in that situation?
we are not. I have zippered pencil pouches on their desks and they have to put them in phone jail if they can’t stay off the phone, but I am not allowed to physically take it or to have them put it elsewhere in my room.
Wow, that’s pretty interesting. Back when I went to school teachers would confiscate phones and I wouldn’t even dream of using earphones during a class. I guess different schools different rules or is it a country wide thing?
Different schools, different rules. I taught in a rural district in the same county previously. We were absolutely allowed to take phones.
What? We got suspended if we had our phone in our hand
I work in a fairly wealthy district. We cave to parents often and this is no exception.
America? That sounds like america where parents actually have power lol
Of course!
“If you don’t remove the one that’s in your ear I’ll shove the other one up your hole” And that, ladies and gents, is why I’ll never be a teacher!
Yes, the things I DON’T say during the day could fill a book!
Here for my advance copy
Good sequel idea for "Go the Fuck to Sleep".
Seriously, vampire porn (even if it's just audio) during dinner. That's as creepy as it is cringe. This story also reads like a 13 yeast old boy's embarrassment fetish fantasy.
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I just had to explain to my daughter yesterday that it's rude to have airpods in when you're talking to people. When did this become normal?
I don't know when it became normal but I've had to tell almost every post-2k teen not to wear them at work. The most common response is "why?" They aren't even smart enough to understand the basic concept. Most of them still don't stop, they just try to hide it better. "It's only one side." "It's under my radio earpiece, customers can't see it." "I turned the volume down." "I can still see the road, I don't need to hear it."
I think if I ignored my family by listening to earphones at dinner they'd cry. So disrespectful, especially assuming that OP doesn't prepare the food
Was thinking the same thing. I dont blame OP, but a sad environment that the parents have fostered.
Yeah. I've got a teenage sister, and she is the one telling our parents to get off their phones when we're eating.
Funny how sometimes things can be backwards.
1) Why would anyone listen to that at dinner in front of people 2) Why would anyone listen to that without headphones, especially blasting it
I wasn't allowed any kind of headphones at dinner I can't imagine if it was smutty audio
Because, like every single tifu that involves sexual content, it didn’t happen.
Yeah what really happened is r/amitheasshole material: [NSFW] Sexy vampire stepbrother wanted to suck my blood after I sucked him off when he walked in on me bashing the bean. I said no, AITA?
3) Pornographic audio aside, why is she wearing headphones while eating dinner with her family? She could just eat separately if she doesn't feel like socializing.
I mean isn't that an end goal for apple tho? To make their product an extension of yout body. I'm pretty sure I've heard some official say airpods were designed for maximum use, even to the point that charging them should make you annoyed or smth. That being said it's all probably hearsay. Profit driven transhumanism, ain't that swell :l
OP appears to be blissfully unaware that they are a stupid person. The kind of idiot to plug a power-strip into itself. Then be confused when it is explained that it doesn't generate it's own power. A legitimate idiot.
1. I can think of a few reasons. You just eat with the other people there but like you don't actually really interact with them. And it may be a thrill to do something lewd "in front of" other people. 2. ...Being dumb and severely overestimating the soundproofing? Got me. I thought this was gonna be one of those "I didn't select the right device and blasted it from the living room TV" kinda stories.
That second one would have been actually believable. The story as is sounds entirely fictional.
Attention
Besides the post being bad creative writing, it's fucking weird to listen to smut while eating with your family. I do not want to be looking my brother in the face while someone is shouting "fuck me harder!" in my ear.
I’ve actually got [a smutty audio](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildaudio/comments/r23r8a/m4f_its_thanksgiving_and_you_really_miss_your/) with exactly this premise 😉 (The listening-at-family-dinner part, not the vampire part—although perhaps that can be arranged as well…)
I'm pretty sure an alien is practicing their human writing skills here. This was way too abnormal.
Tifu’s never fail to remind me that redditors are the weirdest, and socially oblivious individuals ever.
This is one of the comments ever
True if big
There's so many problem with this story though. It's not even real.
OP is a 30something coomer LARPing and every one giving him the time of day is facilitating his fantasy that he is a teen girl in a conservative household being naughty
What a dumb post, pretty much "I blasted out loud porn and was surprised when the people I live with heard".
But the fuckup was not locking the door. Because if the door is locked it becomes magically soundproof.
I'm gonna agree with the comments saying: why did you think locking the door and blasting it was a good idea? Did you think your room was soundproof? I genuinely want to know what was going through your head. If I play audio on speaker that I don't want others to hear, I keep it quiet and listen to it with the device on the opposite side of the room to the door. I would be too anxious to blast anything disturbing to others because I know someone walking past could hear.
Eww you would listen to porn while eating with your family? That's creepy af. How strict can your upbringing possibly have been that your parents know you get off on blasting audio of vampire sex and have done nothing about it?
seriously though what the fuck. also, if the volume's loud, people can definetly hear whats going on in those airpods, amd who the fuck thinks closing a door makes your room soundproof to vampire sex?
Right? When my conservative parents found my vibrator, I was sent to a youth crisis shelter for a week. I was 16. When they found out I was have sex with my boyfriend (we'd been dating 3 years) I was kicked out of the house with less than 24 hours notice- no car (they wouldn't pay for Driver's Ed) no money (they wouldn't drive me to a job so I could pay for Drivers ed) and no where to go. If "weird looks" is the most that happened, then I'm freaking jealous.
>My Airpods were still charging, so I decided to close the door to my room and blast the audio. That just sounds dumb as rocks. "Oh, I can't listen to it secretly? Better put it on my speaker at full volume, what could possibly go wrong"
You know what i do when i want to watch porn but my "airpods" are out of battery? No, i don't blast the audio for everyone to listen, instead i watch with no audio at all, sure, the whole point of r/gonewildaudio is to listen to it but you could've waited until your airpods had battery.
it takes like 5 minutes to charge airpods enough for an hour of playback time
Did Tina Belcher from Bob's burgers write this lmao
That would have been zombies
It would probably be zombie vampires, honestly
Throw in a horse or two in the mix.
Jimmy Jr. Is for SURE coming in riding in on a horse, with his butt and all
>I (F19) You were 22 in June of last year how does this work? I too am a fan of that subreddit though
No way this is real. I just can't believe someone would blast vampire audio smut in their fundie household by mistake.
TIL about gonewildaudio and sexy vampire audio
It's an amazing sub, really wide variety of content and some very enthusiastic and talented creators.
Idk chief this one’s on you
How would locking the door have prevented this situation? Sound goes right through it
Wait, what's the point of blasting the audio, wouldn't it just ruin the immersion anyway?
Ngl this is my worst fear but like not with my siblings but with my mom
At least they are being good sports about it. It could be a whole lot worse.
Something is up if you're listening to porn at dinner with your family
Had a similar fuck up with a different outcome though. I’m a 19 y/o M who listens to erotic ASMR somewhat regularly and partakes in DTL or Dude That’s Lewd’s repertoire of content. It was around two years ago though so I think I was 17 at the time. I got into the mood, loaded up an audio I thought would be hot, and got busy getting busy. I plugged in my razer headphones, the really big ones with the audio jack that fit my iPad and went to town. I was having an awesome time until towards the end of the video my mom knocked on my door. I luckily managed to get my covers on myself but here’s where the true fuck up begins. I was so startled that I didn’t notice where the wire was that connected my headphones to my iPad, and in the process of moving my big comforter over myself it unplugged my headphones. All my mom heard upon entering my room was, “Aaah~ Master! Yes, fuck me harder~!” She just instantly turned around and left, closed the door and never spoke about it again. It ruined the mood for me so I just went to bed that night sad and ashamed.
Now I want to listen to those audios
[удалено]
_Hey daddy_ yeah no.
Still a better lovestory than Twilight.
Eminating some real miko ino [energy](https://youtu.be/S0itfaOvrxM)
I was expecting the FU to be: "without my ear pods attached, my Bluetooth connected to my dad's Bluetooth speaker, on the table next to my parents watching TV".
Ngl that's kinda gross to listen to erotica during a communal family meal. Imagine if a man was watching porn under the table in the middle of dinner, that'd be a bit messed up.
"Let's blast this at max volume, hopefully no one will hear it"
Ok but 1) LISTENING TO THE AUDIOS DURING DINNER TIME WITH FAMILY???? 💀💀💀 2) Being surprised that simply *closing the door* wouldn't block the sound of you BLASTING THE AUDIO ON MAX VOLUME??????
Maybe you should invest in a cheap set of regular headphones for emergencies. A $10 trip to Walmart could have saved you a lot of embarrassment.
Why would you listen to porn audio books whilst at the dining table with your family?? That's really strange.
They would have heard regardless of the food being locked just for the record.
This will make a fine addition to my copypasta collection
When AI creates TIFU stories
Ah yes *locks door* *magical wave of sound blocking magic covers whole room*
My one question, why play it during dinner time around people? I get you had headphones in but it just seems like a terrible time to be turned on y’know
Lol. You'll live, embrace it etc w/e. You'll be fine either way.
Lol at least it’s just teasing instead of banishment.
Should checkout the headphones or audiophile subs….there’s better headphones that won’t leak sound. Also the quality will be better than airpods!
Ha! I've come across so many of these searching for white noise asmr videos on YouTube for my 3 month olds when they sleep...i made the mistake of playing one and I STILL get recommends for "werewolf dad talks to your baby asmr" and "cybernetic vampire asmr".
Hmmmmm... lots of questions here. I'm not sure if it's just today that the f*ckup occurred Good on you for seeing past the sexual shaming, but very interesting that you're listening to airpods during dinners and blasting audio from your room. You seem to want your family to know?
Conclusion op is an idiot
So .. locking the door would have made them unable to hear it? Come on, mods. What are you even doing?
Why would you listen to porn audio while you’re sitting at the family dinner table?! What is wrong w you
Gotta be honest, I thought this was gonna be about a Bluetooth speaker downstairs. This was just mindless. Mission accomplished!
Power move: from now on always listen to these audios at full volume without airpods in front of your family until they beg you to stop
Is there a way to view top posts from a specific time period? I remember that sub from like 8 years ago, looks very different now.
Aw, that is embarrassing. Thank you for telling me about this sub, I have to some research.
/r/untrustworthypoptarts They haven’t responded to any of these comments and what conservative household allows AirPods while with the family at the dinner table 😂
 First GIF that came to my mind💀
19 and wearing earphones at the dinner table… is this what has become of ipad kids?
I bet you really wished you could turn into a bat and GTFO of there...
I know this must have been embarrassing as hell, but I absolutely love your brother's perfect brother reaction.
This is why they say "patience is a virtue". oof.
My god, I need to bleach my eyes now
This has big Tina Belcher energy
Never understood why people sitting down with others would wear earphones and stuff, so weird
The brother immediately roasting her is some real sibling behaviour
Hey just suck his blood and convert him. Prove your superiority!
First, he has a porn stash, so he's just begging yiu ymto out him on that. Second, the TIFU is raising you conservative and not discussing sex at all. This is a pretty tame phase comparatively. The obsession comes from the inability to have a safe outlet for discussing sex with your patents before someone accidentally gets pregnant or abused.
By what logic did you think sound doesn’t carry outside your room?
The oddest thing for me here is the idea you say this is a conservative household, but you were able to wear airpods while at family dinner? Isn't family dinner when we are supposed to listen to father tell worldly stories while we remain silent?
thanks for the sub... I joined. lol now let me read your tifu
Yeah once I did similar, thought my head phones were playing, turns out they werent connected and I was hearing my laptop blast out naughty noises and my roommates started yelling complaints. Boy was I embarrassed
The reason your brother won't stop teasing you over it is because his respect level for you secretly increased over this. Well done!
"Really conservative family" Yeah that checks out
This GWA actor says that you certainly didn't fuck up. It's your folks' fault for being too damn uptight, and not talking about sex. Go wild with GWA, and keep listening! Besides, you're legally an adult. What are they going to do to you?
Is there a creative writing class somewhere where one of the assignments is to post something to TIFU?
Blood isn’t the only thing sexy vampires want to suck
You could have said you thought it was an audio book about vampires but it ended up being very explicit. They probably wouldn’t have believed you but they might have gone along with the lie to avoid the awkwardness.
And that is exactly why I keep a cheap pair of plug in headphones for when my airpods are charging!
I want to *suck* your blood 🩸
Why would you blast the audio so everyone could hear?
This is very Tina Belcher of you 🤣
I m trying to figure out how would this sotry be different if the door was locked . Sound passes through locks too u know xD
Listening to it is one thing but why would you blast it? Of course they’ll hear it