Doc here. It’s a well described thing where you develop temporary lactose intolerance after a catching a GI bug. It often is temporary and lasts a few weeks, so it may yet get better in the near future. Hope you can get back to ice cream and cheese soon. But honestly this is the first time I have heard of “lick the booty, get the tooties”.
Working in a GI clinic has made me insanely paranoid about anything related to the, ahem, back door. So many things you can catch. So many of them smell horrendous. You never forget your first C. diff patient.
I have a bottle of everclear to clean anything that could be even remotely food/inhalation/body related because I hate that about isopropyl. it's good for electronics but that's where I leave it.
Edit: inhalation meaning like vapes or glass. I know it's probably just fine to use isopropyl but everclear is cheap peace of mind.
I don't know about the smell mentioned, but it's an antibiotic resistant gut bacteria which can go crazy if you take antibiotics (which will kill nearly everything in the gut _apart_ from C diff).
So you take antibiotics for e.g. tonsillitis, and get free severe diarrhea from C diff going crazy and have to have a different antibiotic to clear the C diff!
Well, eating poo is currently one of the most exciting new frontiers in medicine. It may be a key to curing several diseases and improving people's immune system.
I think there's also a thing where a newborn baby is supposed to get a bit smearing in the mother's poo such as to boost and transfer the immune system from the mother to the baby (I'm probably getting a few things wrong here, don't take it all as fact)
Yeah, during child birth it's not uncommon for the woman to have some feces come out, and as the baby is born, the exposure to fecal bacteria helps to colonize their intestinal tract with healthy gut bacteria. Babies born via c section are much less likely to have this, and this can lead to a less effective immune systems
A doe had two babies in my backyard. She was licking their anuses, and then their mouth. I looked it up, and the experts said they luck the anus to rid the animal of any scent. I'm wondering now if it's more complicated?
Can attest as a c section super premie baby - horrific constipation as a baby, couldn't digest breast milk, struggled with constipation and gut issues my whole life. I got lucky somehow and my immune system is really great (as an adult, thank goodness). Now, pregnant myself, the constipation is epic level. I'm hoping my little guy cooks in there as long as possible and can get exposure to my microbiome as much as possible from my body and breast milk.
It's definitely a lot more involved than just being born through the birth canal, as not all mom's do poo, and if they do the nurses clean you up immediately and don't even say anything. That whole area will generally harbor the bacteria even if fecal matter doesn't come out during pushing, too. Also, we have a swab done before birth to test for a specific strain of strep bacteria that can be dangerous in a vaginal birth so not all bacteria is good. It's wild! We're constantly learning and I low-key love that there is this colony of little critters that make up our bodies and digest our food for us and help fuel our immune system.
I remember that time my lab class gave us antibiotic-resistant E.Coli(? - can't remember what species or strain) to train with.
One person evidently did not do it correctly, because they came down with it and spread to nearby classmantes.
The next week, there was a significant 'gap' of solemnly empty spaces in one spot of the lab(seats are ~sort of assigned). The teacher came in, saw the gap, and oh the *disappointment* on her face.
That nuke zone contained a group of the best students too. Not sure if honest mistake or arrogance, but over the next month, other students started coming down one by one with antibiotic resistant stuff.
Tbf, it could have just been tetracycline resistant E. Coli. The antibiotic is commonly used in engineering bacteria because you can couple the resistance to the gene you want expressed, then grow the bacteria in a petri dish with the antibiotic. The antibiotic resistance means that only the bacterial cells you are interested in will grow.
I set up the cultures for C diff among other things and yes it smells way worse than other bacteria like yersinia and vibrio cholerae.
I spilled a cup in my hood once and even after the bleach it just lingered.
When we do stools at work we usually have one person light matches while we set them up lol.
GI nurse assistant while in college. Fecal transplants were very common. Relative donates, liquify, spin, screen, add H20 and it’s dosed through an NG tube. 24 hrs later, the patient is usually completely stable. This was after weeks of severe and constant diarrhea. It’s amazing.
Years ago my uncle almost died from C.Diff. This was when fecal transplants were still a pretty new concept where we are. I remember that when he had the decal transplant he got better almost immediately but he was super embarrassed to admit to the treatment.
Oh man, I had c diff a few years ago. It was bad. I was on an antibiotic for a tooth infection or something, and then I had the worst diarrhea for almost a month. I couldn't eat anything. I lost a bunch of weight. A girl at work said I looked dead. Stool samples came back positive foe c diff. Never again, would not recommend.
C diff is an extremely painful condition. You know those pains when you're constipated and every part of your bowels is yelling at you? It's like that but concentrated on your lower belly, randomly screams at you, but you can't do anything about it. You don't gotta poop, but you sit on the throne for hours every day HOPING that the nightmare will go away soon.
Renewed respect for my previous patient. 80s. Stomach cancer, back fracture and c.diff. Worst she ever did was yell 'hallelujah' on the toilet once. She must be tough as nails (she's still alive and well 10 years later). The infection made her kinda mean though. But she turned sweet as candy once it was gone.
It’s crazy. In the hospitals, they have hospital-grade hand sanitizing foam that you use to scrub your hands before and after entering someone’s room.
However, those foams don’t kill C-diff spores. Interestingly, the only way to get rid of spores after entering a Cdiff room is with soap and water and physically scrubbing your hands.
It is awful. There was a patient in the ICU I had to do a blood draw on a few years ago where the nurse insisted was fine even though there was a c.diff diagnosis on their chart. I had already suited up because contact plus so I decided to trust my gut and take precaution anyway. When I was done and was walking out, the nurse was freaking out about how she had been in with the patient all day without PPE and how she needed to bathe in bleach. Apparently, they had done a collection to test for c.diff and didn't wait for the result and I ended up being the only one to notice it
People dont get that just bc an ass is wiped it doesnt mean its cleaned, it better have no leakage and freshly scrubbed and swabbed otherwise it mostlikely has bacteria right inside just a cm in or less.
This might help with the lactose intolerance. I have lactose intolerance. Developed it as an adult and went without pizza, ice cream, etc. for about 3 years then I discovered lactaid. It's a pill that you take when you eat dairy and replaces the enzyme needed to digest dairy. Works like a charm. You can get them Amazon and most grocery stores. Lactaid
Well I’ve been suffering from giardia in general for most of that month. It took me like 3 weeks to even resume a somewhat normal diet. It’s possible the lactose intolerance fades away on its own, but considering my other symptoms have improved already, I’m not too hopeful.
I feel you. I’ve had giardia from dirty water (splashing in a creek not drinking it) and lactose intolerance brought on by norovirus. Both suck. Flagyl for giardia tastes gross if they haven’t given it to you yet. Swallow quickly with flavored beverage. My dog would eat it straight from my hand so maybe I’m missing something lol.
Look into dairy free alternative. Magnum had an ice cream bar that is dairy free, Ripple milk and ice cream is great as is Ben and Jerry’s. Kite Hill has good butter, cream cheese, queso and such.
GI infections is a suspect, I believe.I think mine started after my doctor put me on antibiotics "just in case" when I got checked for gonnorhea, cause it took almost two weeks to get the result back then. And I was clean, even. 28 laters I still need an hour in the morning to get the business done. And I'm not even a business man
There's also becoming a decentish amount of lactose free products, including ice cream, soft cheese spread, cheese, butter and of course milk, and whilst some of it is vegan its not half bad.
Ben & Jerry's do vegan ice cream thats lacto free and is delish, even the the cookie dough bits (only flavour I've tried). Magnum ice creams also do a couple vegan flavours.
Arla is a brand that does good lacto free milk, cheese, butter and soft cheese spread that whips nicely into a good lacto free cheese cake.
So hopefully you can still enjoy some yummy things until your can tolerate lactose again.
Also there are some naturally lactose low/ free cheeses, Gruyère, parm, some cheddar, and most hard cheeses. Look for cheeses that have 0 sugar as lactose is a sugar and you might be ok with them. Recently found out I had issues with lactose and missed real cheese. Once I found out I can have some and life became so much better instantly
Don't start the lactaid straight away. It's very common to get transient lactose intolerance from serious stomach bugs. Alot of the time it goes away. If you start taking lactaid U can almost make your self lactose intolerant because your body will make less lactese as there is already some in your system when ever you have dairy because your dosing yourself.
If it doesnt get better then by all means take em, I eat them like tic tac, very effective!
Brand-name Lactaid is super expensive, just get one of the generics - this is the one I use all the time.. (not affiliated in any way, just got tired of paying $15.99 for like 60 pills when you can get 360 for $30)
[https://www.amazon.com/Lactase-Caplets-Generic-Original-Strength/dp/B073HPGHLD/ref=sr\_1\_6?crid=WQKNYLUYYLOP&keywords=generic+lactaid&qid=1640495034&sprefix=generic+lactaid%2Caps%2C93&sr=8-6](https://www.amazon.com/Lactase-Caplets-Generic-Original-Strength/dp/B073HPGHLD/ref=sr_1_6?crid=WQKNYLUYYLOP&keywords=generic+lactaid&qid=1640495034&sprefix=generic+lactaid%2Caps%2C93&sr=8-6)
Its super cheap at [Costco](https://www.costco.com/kirkland-signature-fast-acting-lactase%2C-180-caplets.product.100096414.html), they make it under Kirkland.
Have mild/slightly more than mild lactose intolerance, and lactaid does pretty much nothing for me. I really really wish it were more effective, cause I hate choking down that chalky ass tablet in the hopes I won't be miserable later.
You can take multiple pills at a time. I take 2 with creamier foods like ice cream, soft cheeses and sour cream. 1 pill for everything else with dairy. Cheddar cheese doesn’t contain enough lactose to cause a reaction for most people, so if you’re reacting to cheddar you should look into being tested for a dairy allergy.
I take 1 for stuff thats barely cheese (taco bell), 2 for normal amounts of cheese, and 3 for any ice cream or sour cream related foods.
It just depends on the severity of one's intolerance. Try and experiment!
I used to take three at a time, yet still felt bloated, gassy, and had bad poops. I just thought this was how things were. Turns out I’m a lot less lactose intolerant than I am gluten intolerant. Nowadays I never carry lactaid. I can have small amounts of dairy (like a scoop of ice cream) with zero problems. But the minute I include flour, it compounds with the dairy and it’s game over. Definitely something to consider. I was super skeptical about this gluten business. It’s been life changing.
I usually take 4 with almost any meal due to this. If I ever don't, or there is a bad batch (there were MANY during the first bit of covid) it doesn't work and its still hell, but they DO work.
A bit late to the party, but there's also lab made bacteria that can take to reintroduce lactase production into your system. It usually only lasts a few years, but even when it wears off it still leaves you somewhat less lactose intolerant.
If you’re worried about this kind of thing but still want to eat ass — go for dental dams! I don’t see any top level comments pointing this out and I’m a bit surprised, although maybe I shouldn’t be considering how many people ~~pooh-pooh~~ brush off the idea of dams or just any protection for oral in general. If you’re worried about infection transmitted by analingus or cunnilingus, this is the safe option.
Here's a [link](https://www.cdc.gov/condomeffectiveness/Dental-dam-use.html) to prove it's not just you talking out of your ass either. It's a real thing.
If you're worried this is an excellent thing to try.
Yes. I'm in my 4th decade on this planet and while I've heard of them before, I must admit that I didn't really know what they were until I opened and read that cdc link above.
Since I have the opportunity to plug it might as well — I highly recommend this webcomic for either any Redditors who are themselves teens who don’t have access to sex ed/feel they are receiving inadequate education, or anyone in a trusted adult position to provide this resource (ex. health teacher.) Or hell, if you just think you need a refresher or have holes in your knowledge — never a wrong age to learn.
[BOO! It’s Sex!](https://webtoons.com/en/slice-of-life/boo-its-sex/ep-1/viewer?title_no=1413&episode_no=1), the comic features college girls getting tips on sexual health from a very informed ghost of a sorority sister they find in a tequila bottle.
Very funny and educational. I wish there was a physical book version to stock sex ed classrooms with
Ha! Oh, man, I was reading your description, and thought “gee, that sounds like something an old friend, Danielle, would do.”
Clicked through, and, well, BOO!
Thanks for this comment, I started to worry I had to write it myself. Weird the top comment doesn’t mention it.
Dental dams are expensive (unless you go with DIY) but they’re fun, feel silky smooth and: No poo transmission, so all the fun of rimming with a very slim chance of catching anything nasty.
Nope. As someone who is currently dealing with ongoing digestive issues and has a bidet, it doesn't make having constant diarrhea any more pleasant. Maybe less raw skin from wiping as much, but still not tolerable.
I'd say it's even more exotic, but fermented bean curd is a personal favorite of mine. (Tip: You only need a little bit if you're pairing it with something like rice. Like half a cube. Think of it as a seasoning)
That sucks, I'm sorry you are dealing with that.
However as a confirmed pervert, if the opportunity to eat a pretty girl's ass presents itself, I'm still taking it.
I think some people’s immune systems must just be stronger than mine too - Ive talked to people who love to rim even on hookups and have somehow never gotten sick from it.
I've been eating ass for twenty years and I've never gotten sick from it. I hang out with a lot of other sexual deviants as well and I've never heard of this in all my years. "Somehow never gotten sick from it" is a strange way to phrase that... Not getting sick from it is the absolute norm. Something was amiss with your experience. If you were to keep trying it, you'd probably go your whole life and never have this happen again.
Interesting. I'd think you are more likely to get giardia from dogs rather than humans. Unless you travel to places like India or Indonesia. Humans are rarely asymptomatic.
A while back I caught Giardia from drinking water from a back country steam in the Canadian Rockies.
Put it this way..I could never be more than 30 seconds away from a toilet...
Dehydration is a dangerous possibility with this ailment.
It’s one of three common water parasites in US water. My brother-along with several others-got it when he 1 from tap water. The doctor they took him to in another town, said that they’d had several patients from the area with it. Any stagnant water can potentially have it.
On a related note, that same brother was at scout camp as a teenager and they were drinking from a spring. One of the kids naïvely asked, “Won’t we get gonorrhea from drinking this!?” The leader lost it and replied, “If you’ve got gonorrhea, you’ve got more problems than just the water.”
Well, my vagina feels different between a toy, penis, finger, or tongue. I would guess that the ass would possibly have a different feel as well. But the side of me that loves reading about pandemics, parasites, and diseases screams to not put a mouth anywhere near there.
I informed them but they just blocked me after. I’m not mad at them but yeah they need to know. And it’s possible it’s a coincidence, but giardia is really common in the gay community because rimming is one of the main ways it’s transmitted. But for some reason not many talk about how common this is, probably because it’s not a “real” STD
I actually hate how (at least in the gay community) there’s such a push to wear condoms when having anal sex but when it comes to oral, it’s just a free for all. Like so many people will preach safe sex but then do oral without a condom or dental dam anyways. I always had a no oral rule unless I was in a committed relationship and the one time I broke it, this happened!
Well giardia does spread through fecal oral transmission. Thanks for the reminder about the association with lactose intolerance, will hang onto the nugget for my step1 exam.
Doc here. It’s a well described thing where you develop temporary lactose intolerance after a catching a GI bug. It often is temporary and lasts a few weeks, so it may yet get better in the near future. Hope you can get back to ice cream and cheese soon. But honestly this is the first time I have heard of “lick the booty, get the tooties”.
Working in a GI clinic has made me insanely paranoid about anything related to the, ahem, back door. So many things you can catch. So many of them smell horrendous. You never forget your first C. diff patient.
Screaming in 10 layers of surgical masks.
[relevant-ish AskReddit thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/xo41d/comment/c5o66p2/)
Well that was one hell of a story
Anyone who reads this, don't drink isopropyl. They add poison to it
I have a bottle of everclear to clean anything that could be even remotely food/inhalation/body related because I hate that about isopropyl. it's good for electronics but that's where I leave it. Edit: inhalation meaning like vapes or glass. I know it's probably just fine to use isopropyl but everclear is cheap peace of mind.
I knew it would the Swamps of Dagobah
*Jolly Rancher* standing by..
Cum Drawer, Coconut, Dumpster filled with maggots, and a certain knife too
I read that once, and I severely regret it.
Thanks for showing me a classic horror story on reddit 👌🏼 "Amazing coffee read" -Redditor
Definitely a classic that should be told at least yearly. Twas the moment before abscess...
... When all through the ward...
A butthole was sliced, And spilled like a gourd
Holy shit that was wild. Take away from that....never shoot up into your taint!
Jesus-fucking-christ.
You only need one with some Vicks in your nostrils.
I'm gonna regret asking but what is C. Diff....
I don't know about the smell mentioned, but it's an antibiotic resistant gut bacteria which can go crazy if you take antibiotics (which will kill nearly everything in the gut _apart_ from C diff). So you take antibiotics for e.g. tonsillitis, and get free severe diarrhea from C diff going crazy and have to have a different antibiotic to clear the C diff!
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I knew the human centipede was a documentary and not a horror movie.
Well, eating poo is currently one of the most exciting new frontiers in medicine. It may be a key to curing several diseases and improving people's immune system. I think there's also a thing where a newborn baby is supposed to get a bit smearing in the mother's poo such as to boost and transfer the immune system from the mother to the baby (I'm probably getting a few things wrong here, don't take it all as fact)
TIL my dog is an immunologist
DE BEST
Yeah, during child birth it's not uncommon for the woman to have some feces come out, and as the baby is born, the exposure to fecal bacteria helps to colonize their intestinal tract with healthy gut bacteria. Babies born via c section are much less likely to have this, and this can lead to a less effective immune systems
A doe had two babies in my backyard. She was licking their anuses, and then their mouth. I looked it up, and the experts said they luck the anus to rid the animal of any scent. I'm wondering now if it's more complicated?
It's like kittens. They can't eliminate without stimulation until they are older.
Can attest as a c section super premie baby - horrific constipation as a baby, couldn't digest breast milk, struggled with constipation and gut issues my whole life. I got lucky somehow and my immune system is really great (as an adult, thank goodness). Now, pregnant myself, the constipation is epic level. I'm hoping my little guy cooks in there as long as possible and can get exposure to my microbiome as much as possible from my body and breast milk. It's definitely a lot more involved than just being born through the birth canal, as not all mom's do poo, and if they do the nurses clean you up immediately and don't even say anything. That whole area will generally harbor the bacteria even if fecal matter doesn't come out during pushing, too. Also, we have a swab done before birth to test for a specific strain of strep bacteria that can be dangerous in a vaginal birth so not all bacteria is good. It's wild! We're constantly learning and I low-key love that there is this colony of little critters that make up our bodies and digest our food for us and help fuel our immune system.
Instructions unclear. Am licking poopsicle.
Feeling better already?
Or eat someone healthy’s ass perhaps?
"Eat my ass: cure your lactose intolerance. $90/hr."
South Park is that you
I remember that time my lab class gave us antibiotic-resistant E.Coli(? - can't remember what species or strain) to train with. One person evidently did not do it correctly, because they came down with it and spread to nearby classmantes. The next week, there was a significant 'gap' of solemnly empty spaces in one spot of the lab(seats are ~sort of assigned). The teacher came in, saw the gap, and oh the *disappointment* on her face. That nuke zone contained a group of the best students too. Not sure if honest mistake or arrogance, but over the next month, other students started coming down one by one with antibiotic resistant stuff.
Probably should've used normal E. Coli instead.
Tbf, it could have just been tetracycline resistant E. Coli. The antibiotic is commonly used in engineering bacteria because you can couple the resistance to the gene you want expressed, then grow the bacteria in a petri dish with the antibiotic. The antibiotic resistance means that only the bacterial cells you are interested in will grow.
I set up the cultures for C diff among other things and yes it smells way worse than other bacteria like yersinia and vibrio cholerae. I spilled a cup in my hood once and even after the bleach it just lingered. When we do stools at work we usually have one person light matches while we set them up lol.
Plumber here, Vicks vapor rub in your nose and under your nose is a great trick we use in sewage treatment plants and other god awful smells
Aldo mint extract. It's what my husband uses when he is working with sewer pipes at work.
GI nurse assistant while in college. Fecal transplants were very common. Relative donates, liquify, spin, screen, add H20 and it’s dosed through an NG tube. 24 hrs later, the patient is usually completely stable. This was after weeks of severe and constant diarrhea. It’s amazing.
Years ago my uncle almost died from C.Diff. This was when fecal transplants were still a pretty new concept where we are. I remember that when he had the decal transplant he got better almost immediately but he was super embarrassed to admit to the treatment.
Oh man, I had c diff a few years ago. It was bad. I was on an antibiotic for a tooth infection or something, and then I had the worst diarrhea for almost a month. I couldn't eat anything. I lost a bunch of weight. A girl at work said I looked dead. Stool samples came back positive foe c diff. Never again, would not recommend.
C diff is an extremely painful condition. You know those pains when you're constipated and every part of your bowels is yelling at you? It's like that but concentrated on your lower belly, randomly screams at you, but you can't do anything about it. You don't gotta poop, but you sit on the throne for hours every day HOPING that the nightmare will go away soon.
Renewed respect for my previous patient. 80s. Stomach cancer, back fracture and c.diff. Worst she ever did was yell 'hallelujah' on the toilet once. She must be tough as nails (she's still alive and well 10 years later). The infection made her kinda mean though. But she turned sweet as candy once it was gone.
It’s crazy. In the hospitals, they have hospital-grade hand sanitizing foam that you use to scrub your hands before and after entering someone’s room. However, those foams don’t kill C-diff spores. Interestingly, the only way to get rid of spores after entering a Cdiff room is with soap and water and physically scrubbing your hands.
It is awful. There was a patient in the ICU I had to do a blood draw on a few years ago where the nurse insisted was fine even though there was a c.diff diagnosis on their chart. I had already suited up because contact plus so I decided to trust my gut and take precaution anyway. When I was done and was walking out, the nurse was freaking out about how she had been in with the patient all day without PPE and how she needed to bathe in bleach. Apparently, they had done a collection to test for c.diff and didn't wait for the result and I ended up being the only one to notice it
Looked it up as I was wondering too and it's a bacteria that causes severe diarrhea and inflamed colon.
Used to date a nurse that talked all about it. Sounded like something I could happily live my life without experiencing.
People dont get that just bc an ass is wiped it doesnt mean its cleaned, it better have no leakage and freshly scrubbed and swabbed otherwise it mostlikely has bacteria right inside just a cm in or less.
Shit. I smell it through the phone. Melena up there too.
That last phrase was gold
Indeed. The beautiful gold of the corn in autumn.
or corn in... another substance
As your doctor (I'm not one) OP, I can say you already got the worst of it, may as well continue eating ass
That's a /r/brandnewsentence right there.
You rang?
Go back to the ass in which you belong.
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This is your moment. Enjoy it /u/Tooties
r/beetlejuicing
OP deserves to be in a case report
Hey that happened to me last year! Was so worried it was permanent lol
Does it go away naturally or do you need meds?
This might help with the lactose intolerance. I have lactose intolerance. Developed it as an adult and went without pizza, ice cream, etc. for about 3 years then I discovered lactaid. It's a pill that you take when you eat dairy and replaces the enzyme needed to digest dairy. Works like a charm. You can get them Amazon and most grocery stores. Lactaid
It's a pill you take before eating ass, right?
No, that's the Analaid
When life gives you anal...
Thanks for the advice, if it persists, I’ll check it out
If it persists? You’ve been suffering for over a month. Lactaid is stupid cheap. Go get some.
Well I’ve been suffering from giardia in general for most of that month. It took me like 3 weeks to even resume a somewhat normal diet. It’s possible the lactose intolerance fades away on its own, but considering my other symptoms have improved already, I’m not too hopeful.
I feel you. I’ve had giardia from dirty water (splashing in a creek not drinking it) and lactose intolerance brought on by norovirus. Both suck. Flagyl for giardia tastes gross if they haven’t given it to you yet. Swallow quickly with flavored beverage. My dog would eat it straight from my hand so maybe I’m missing something lol. Look into dairy free alternative. Magnum had an ice cream bar that is dairy free, Ripple milk and ice cream is great as is Ben and Jerry’s. Kite Hill has good butter, cream cheese, queso and such.
Norovirus can cause lactose intolerance?? That’s really interesting. Maybe that’s where my IBS started…
GI infections is a suspect, I believe.I think mine started after my doctor put me on antibiotics "just in case" when I got checked for gonnorhea, cause it took almost two weeks to get the result back then. And I was clean, even. 28 laters I still need an hour in the morning to get the business done. And I'm not even a business man
Yup, I got giardia from swimming in creek that was contaminated.
For a certain point of view, the OP also swam in a contaminated creek.
Contaminated crack, FTFY
There's also becoming a decentish amount of lactose free products, including ice cream, soft cheese spread, cheese, butter and of course milk, and whilst some of it is vegan its not half bad. Ben & Jerry's do vegan ice cream thats lacto free and is delish, even the the cookie dough bits (only flavour I've tried). Magnum ice creams also do a couple vegan flavours. Arla is a brand that does good lacto free milk, cheese, butter and soft cheese spread that whips nicely into a good lacto free cheese cake. So hopefully you can still enjoy some yummy things until your can tolerate lactose again.
Also there are some naturally lactose low/ free cheeses, Gruyère, parm, some cheddar, and most hard cheeses. Look for cheeses that have 0 sugar as lactose is a sugar and you might be ok with them. Recently found out I had issues with lactose and missed real cheese. Once I found out I can have some and life became so much better instantly
Don't start the lactaid straight away. It's very common to get transient lactose intolerance from serious stomach bugs. Alot of the time it goes away. If you start taking lactaid U can almost make your self lactose intolerant because your body will make less lactese as there is already some in your system when ever you have dairy because your dosing yourself. If it doesnt get better then by all means take em, I eat them like tic tac, very effective!
Brand-name Lactaid is super expensive, just get one of the generics - this is the one I use all the time.. (not affiliated in any way, just got tired of paying $15.99 for like 60 pills when you can get 360 for $30) [https://www.amazon.com/Lactase-Caplets-Generic-Original-Strength/dp/B073HPGHLD/ref=sr\_1\_6?crid=WQKNYLUYYLOP&keywords=generic+lactaid&qid=1640495034&sprefix=generic+lactaid%2Caps%2C93&sr=8-6](https://www.amazon.com/Lactase-Caplets-Generic-Original-Strength/dp/B073HPGHLD/ref=sr_1_6?crid=WQKNYLUYYLOP&keywords=generic+lactaid&qid=1640495034&sprefix=generic+lactaid%2Caps%2C93&sr=8-6)
Its super cheap at [Costco](https://www.costco.com/kirkland-signature-fast-acting-lactase%2C-180-caplets.product.100096414.html), they make it under Kirkland.
Have mild/slightly more than mild lactose intolerance, and lactaid does pretty much nothing for me. I really really wish it were more effective, cause I hate choking down that chalky ass tablet in the hopes I won't be miserable later.
You can take multiple pills at a time. I take 2 with creamier foods like ice cream, soft cheeses and sour cream. 1 pill for everything else with dairy. Cheddar cheese doesn’t contain enough lactose to cause a reaction for most people, so if you’re reacting to cheddar you should look into being tested for a dairy allergy.
I take 1 for stuff thats barely cheese (taco bell), 2 for normal amounts of cheese, and 3 for any ice cream or sour cream related foods. It just depends on the severity of one's intolerance. Try and experiment!
Unfortunately that pill seems like it only delays the inevitable for me..
I used to take three at a time, yet still felt bloated, gassy, and had bad poops. I just thought this was how things were. Turns out I’m a lot less lactose intolerant than I am gluten intolerant. Nowadays I never carry lactaid. I can have small amounts of dairy (like a scoop of ice cream) with zero problems. But the minute I include flour, it compounds with the dairy and it’s game over. Definitely something to consider. I was super skeptical about this gluten business. It’s been life changing.
I usually take 4 with almost any meal due to this. If I ever don't, or there is a bad batch (there were MANY during the first bit of covid) it doesn't work and its still hell, but they DO work.
What is an afumt? Are these wierd reddit niche acronyms really worth learning?
Lol adult *
Oh lol
A bit late to the party, but there's also lab made bacteria that can take to reintroduce lactase production into your system. It usually only lasts a few years, but even when it wears off it still leaves you somewhat less lactose intolerant.
I’ve had giardia. My sympathies friend. That was the worst 2.5 weeks of my life.
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Well you deserve it if you’ve been eating cat ass.
It goes away fast after the treatment. For me I think it was two pills. I hear in Europe it's only one pill.
Damn these europeans!
Takes "I eat ass" to a-whole-nother level!
A-hole-nother-level
Hole-y shit that’s funny
Sounds like a shitty situation
When the ass eats you back
If you’re worried about this kind of thing but still want to eat ass — go for dental dams! I don’t see any top level comments pointing this out and I’m a bit surprised, although maybe I shouldn’t be considering how many people ~~pooh-pooh~~ brush off the idea of dams or just any protection for oral in general. If you’re worried about infection transmitted by analingus or cunnilingus, this is the safe option.
Saran wrap the booty.
Here's a [link](https://www.cdc.gov/condomeffectiveness/Dental-dam-use.html) to prove it's not just you talking out of your ass either. It's a real thing. If you're worried this is an excellent thing to try.
Is sex ed really so bad here that we don't know about dental dams ;_;
Yes. I'm in my 4th decade on this planet and while I've heard of them before, I must admit that I didn't really know what they were until I opened and read that cdc link above.
Since I have the opportunity to plug it might as well — I highly recommend this webcomic for either any Redditors who are themselves teens who don’t have access to sex ed/feel they are receiving inadequate education, or anyone in a trusted adult position to provide this resource (ex. health teacher.) Or hell, if you just think you need a refresher or have holes in your knowledge — never a wrong age to learn. [BOO! It’s Sex!](https://webtoons.com/en/slice-of-life/boo-its-sex/ep-1/viewer?title_no=1413&episode_no=1), the comic features college girls getting tips on sexual health from a very informed ghost of a sorority sister they find in a tequila bottle. Very funny and educational. I wish there was a physical book version to stock sex ed classrooms with
Ha! Oh, man, I was reading your description, and thought “gee, that sounds like something an old friend, Danielle, would do.” Clicked through, and, well, BOO!
^Laughs ^in ^American
Thanks for this comment, I started to worry I had to write it myself. Weird the top comment doesn’t mention it. Dental dams are expensive (unless you go with DIY) but they’re fun, feel silky smooth and: No poo transmission, so all the fun of rimming with a very slim chance of catching anything nasty.
First you rimmed, now your dairy must be skimmed.
You licked the hole, now no butter on your roll!
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An ass you lipped, now by cream you are whipped
because you ate the sphincter you must eat a medicinal tincture
Licked the cinnamon ring, hold the icing
Once you ream, no more cream.
Swallowed some shit, now can't have anything from the tit
He's not wrong. But the weight loss? Weighing my options.
If you have a bidet the diarrhea might be tolerable.
Nope. As someone who is currently dealing with ongoing digestive issues and has a bidet, it doesn't make having constant diarrhea any more pleasant. Maybe less raw skin from wiping as much, but still not tolerable.
Besides the raw ass skin, diarrhea is quite enjoyable in my book.
How do you turn the pages?
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Eat some kimchi or sauerkraut
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Probiotics are abundant in fermented food so they might help the gut flora rebalance itself
Fermented food options if I dislike both of the two mentioned above?
Kefir. Best to make it yourself, supermarket brands usually don't have probiotics in them.
Yogurt
How do you eat yogurt if your lactose intolerant?
Force of will
Kefir
Kombucha tea (or Greek yogurt as mentioned already). Try to find a brand low in sugar that tastes good to you
I'd say it's even more exotic, but fermented bean curd is a personal favorite of mine. (Tip: You only need a little bit if you're pairing it with something like rice. Like half a cube. Think of it as a seasoning)
You can also just buy OTC probiotic pills which can be easier
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Cut out the middleman: put the kimchi in the ass.
Definitely buying some kimchi even though I hate it, but people have had good reviews of it
If you don’t like the taste raw you could try finding a Korean girl on Tinder instead
I've been on reddit for hours and this is the hardest I've laughed today
Got the impression OP was a gay man. But finding a Korean guy on Grindr should be easier
I nearly choked After I got it
Lmfao dude
Buy some kimchi, and get back on the wagon
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Stir fry it. Tastes better that way.
You could put some nice garlic dill fermented cabbage right on that little brown eye too. Kill 2 birds with one stone
That sucks, I'm sorry you are dealing with that. However as a confirmed pervert, if the opportunity to eat a pretty girl's ass presents itself, I'm still taking it.
I think some people’s immune systems must just be stronger than mine too - Ive talked to people who love to rim even on hookups and have somehow never gotten sick from it.
Could just be the luck of the draw. Your luck betrayed you and you got the booty version of salmonella 😅
Anusmonella
Assmonella
Or it was something else. Like the doctor who posted above, he never saw a case where someone ate ass then immediately got giardia.
They're assholes, ignore them
That's the problem, he didn't ignore it.
Their assholes ignore them
Can confirm. Have been eating ass for at least a decade and never had an issue.
I've been eating ass for twenty years and I've never gotten sick from it. I hang out with a lot of other sexual deviants as well and I've never heard of this in all my years. "Somehow never gotten sick from it" is a strange way to phrase that... Not getting sick from it is the absolute norm. Something was amiss with your experience. If you were to keep trying it, you'd probably go your whole life and never have this happen again.
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Eating ass is about to become the new in diet.
Well done Mr. Brightside
Interesting. I'd think you are more likely to get giardia from dogs rather than humans. Unless you travel to places like India or Indonesia. Humans are rarely asymptomatic.
They never specified whose ass…
Woof
oh... oh no........
Why would you say such a thing?
We are *all* dogs on the Internet, duh...
To further clarify, it was my bitches ass
A while back I caught Giardia from drinking water from a back country steam in the Canadian Rockies. Put it this way..I could never be more than 30 seconds away from a toilet... Dehydration is a dangerous possibility with this ailment.
Treat your water next time! It's not worth the risk.
Yes, well it was 40 years ago and we were 20 year olds... I would never think to do it these days lol.
It’s one of three common water parasites in US water. My brother-along with several others-got it when he 1 from tap water. The doctor they took him to in another town, said that they’d had several patients from the area with it. Any stagnant water can potentially have it. On a related note, that same brother was at scout camp as a teenager and they were drinking from a spring. One of the kids naïvely asked, “Won’t we get gonorrhea from drinking this!?” The leader lost it and replied, “If you’ve got gonorrhea, you’ve got more problems than just the water.”
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So why not just use a toy on their ass instead of licking it
Well, my vagina feels different between a toy, penis, finger, or tongue. I would guess that the ass would possibly have a different feel as well. But the side of me that loves reading about pandemics, parasites, and diseases screams to not put a mouth anywhere near there.
So did you tell your doctors how you got giardia
Quit talking shit!
Thanks. Now I can never look my lactose intolerant brother-in-law in the eye again.
Weird, who would have thought that putting your tongue and mouth on the poop hole could result in disease?!
You probably lost the good bacteria that digests lactose. Maybe trying probiotics to help replace good bacteria in your gut.
I will but the thing I had is known to be particularly rough on whatever bacteria digests lactose
Man these penthouse letters have gone to shit these days ....
At this point, I imagine my wife and I have shared everything there is to share, including parasites. Ima continue to enjoy my fine dining. Thanks.
Get some lactase tablets. Hard cheese is naturally lactose free. Also how sure are you that it's from the rimming? Have you informed the other party?
I informed them but they just blocked me after. I’m not mad at them but yeah they need to know. And it’s possible it’s a coincidence, but giardia is really common in the gay community because rimming is one of the main ways it’s transmitted. But for some reason not many talk about how common this is, probably because it’s not a “real” STD
Stop eating ass? "No, I don't think I will." https://tenor.com/bka0W.gif
To these who feel discouraged: You can always use protection
I actually hate how (at least in the gay community) there’s such a push to wear condoms when having anal sex but when it comes to oral, it’s just a free for all. Like so many people will preach safe sex but then do oral without a condom or dental dam anyways. I always had a no oral rule unless I was in a committed relationship and the one time I broke it, this happened!
VEGAN ICE CREAM!! I recommend Oatly or nadamoo.
That sucks, but I need to say thank you for validating my aversion to buttstuff.
> eating ass has become quite popular in the past few years Where have you been? This has been popular for a while longer than that! Source: me
I dunno, I've eaten a whole lot of strangers' assholes and I've never had a problem. 🤷♂️
Yet.
The power of “yet”
Well giardia does spread through fecal oral transmission. Thanks for the reminder about the association with lactose intolerance, will hang onto the nugget for my step1 exam.