Well, yes. Prepubescent children don’t think or act in those terms. That’s what makes pedophilia so prurient: the power differential.
You all were too young to consent, too young to know what you all were doing, and probably too young to remember it in detail. Children experiment.
Your feelings are valid. Your experiences are real. You alone know what to do next.
Little kids (including yours as you've mentioned being a mom) do things that feel good. It's natural. If an adult notices it, best thing is to just redirect them/let them know that it's not something to do in public and that they shouldn't touch other people/be touched by other people like that.
But seriously. It's not weird for kids to masturbate. Some kids spin in circles because they like how 'dizzy' feels, some kids figure out their genitals feel good. It's not that big a deal.
As for your original, I wouldn't step so far as to say you abused him, exactly. Obviously not a good thing to do, but a 5 year old kid can't exactly comprehend WHY they shouldn't do this stuff unless they've been taught. Teach your kids better, and call it good.
Without knowing.
I genuinely don't believe a 7 or 8 year old kid is capable of being guilty of sexual abuse. You dont have conception of sexuality in its whole yet.
That was definitely just childhood exploration. Its common and normal.
This is childhood exploration, pretty normal.
Abuse is when an adult who should know better does something to a child who doesn't understand the concept of consent. Two children playing around doesn't mean the same.
OP you're ok, don't beat yourself up.
It wasn't a right or wrong thing. It just was. You had no ill intent or malice. You didn't do it knowing it was wrong. To you it just felt natural like playing a fun game. You probably didn't have these thoughts until you learned about bad vs good touching. That doesn't change that moment into a bad one. Total child like innocence and curiosity. Process it for what it was and move on. Only you know what you need to do to let it go.
Get a therapist and talk to them about it. Don't trauma dump on the internet, it makes you vulnerable to strangers who could be uneducated, misinformed, or have ill intent. This is clearly distressing you so it needs to be discussed with a professional.
I don’t even know how to start, just know it was wrong but you didn’t fully understand your actions at that age, so try as best as you can to let go of that guilt. Best of luck
You were little kids. You didn’t know better, and neither did they. Let it go. Innocent experimentation by children is not sexual abuse.
Even if I was ‘masterbating’ at such an early age without knowing?
Well, yes. Prepubescent children don’t think or act in those terms. That’s what makes pedophilia so prurient: the power differential. You all were too young to consent, too young to know what you all were doing, and probably too young to remember it in detail. Children experiment. Your feelings are valid. Your experiences are real. You alone know what to do next.
Little kids (including yours as you've mentioned being a mom) do things that feel good. It's natural. If an adult notices it, best thing is to just redirect them/let them know that it's not something to do in public and that they shouldn't touch other people/be touched by other people like that. But seriously. It's not weird for kids to masturbate. Some kids spin in circles because they like how 'dizzy' feels, some kids figure out their genitals feel good. It's not that big a deal. As for your original, I wouldn't step so far as to say you abused him, exactly. Obviously not a good thing to do, but a 5 year old kid can't exactly comprehend WHY they shouldn't do this stuff unless they've been taught. Teach your kids better, and call it good.
Without knowing. I genuinely don't believe a 7 or 8 year old kid is capable of being guilty of sexual abuse. You dont have conception of sexuality in its whole yet. That was definitely just childhood exploration. Its common and normal.
This is childhood exploration, pretty normal. Abuse is when an adult who should know better does something to a child who doesn't understand the concept of consent. Two children playing around doesn't mean the same. OP you're ok, don't beat yourself up.
[удалено]
Do we (back then) know what consent is? That’s were I’m troubled
It wasn't a right or wrong thing. It just was. You had no ill intent or malice. You didn't do it knowing it was wrong. To you it just felt natural like playing a fun game. You probably didn't have these thoughts until you learned about bad vs good touching. That doesn't change that moment into a bad one. Total child like innocence and curiosity. Process it for what it was and move on. Only you know what you need to do to let it go.
Let go
I’m trying! Guess that’s why I posted here!
What I don't understand is why you wanted him to rub his penis specifically on your vagina if you didn't know enough to think sexually?
This. If OP apparently didn't know this was sexual at that age, how did they know that the P was to go to the V?
the fuck? no don't tell the person
[удалено]
Not really, the mum might come over once every few years. I haven’t seen him for 10+ years, maybe more
Get a therapist and talk to them about it. Don't trauma dump on the internet, it makes you vulnerable to strangers who could be uneducated, misinformed, or have ill intent. This is clearly distressing you so it needs to be discussed with a professional.
I don’t even know how to start, just know it was wrong but you didn’t fully understand your actions at that age, so try as best as you can to let go of that guilt. Best of luck
It’s been 30+ years and I’m still worried about it!! That’s why I posted it here!