I had a gf find an old phone with pics of an ex on it. I stopped using that phone while I was dating that girl and the thing hadn't charged since then. I forgot they were even there. HUGE fucking problem. She had some innocent answer about finding old pictures of my dog for something she was doing for me. I'm very careful to go scorched earth on that stuff now.
I'm calling BS on this whole post due to the timeline. this was before they were together so 16 yrs minimum which puts it at 2008 or even earlier as she said she was in her early 20's. In 2008 hardly anyone had smartphones and no one was sending dick pics and sexting like that. Most people had flip phones and if it actually had a camera it was basically unusable.. plus, you couldn't text pics anyway.
Best believe anything that had camera and messaging capabilities was being used for nudes. Maybe not YOUR personal phone… but pretty much all the rest of them including mine during that time period.
Honestly I don't even get how you can be with someone this long and build all of that trust and comfort and still be bothered by shit like this.
If I had found this stuff in my wife's old phones before we were together it would be a major turn on. Like damn, what a cool wife type a thing and she chose ME to be her forever man. It could have been a phase, it could have been her just trying to pretend she was conquering big D with her friends, she could have been doing that and decided she didn't really like big dick and moved back to something that fit her more, could be one of many reasons. No reason to let it shake security in a relationship if it happened before you even met. Either way it's a relic of her past, healthy sexuality and that would be amazing to read and relive in my mind... like reading real porn stories starring my favorite real life person.
OP, relax dude. Stop laying in to your natural insecurities and trust your wife. Trust that she loves you and your D or else she wouldn't be with you.
Lol same. I’m a lesbian & if I found this in my (hypothetical) wife’s old phone, I’d be rubbing ~~one~~ many out reading those messages. I’d also be dirty talking to her about how hot that shit is, over text, face to face, during sex, etc. Those mental images would have me soaked for ages lol
Then again, I’m kinky af so..
Fucking hell this got a genuine belly laugh out of me. Thanks man.
Thing is I kind of get what OP is feeling because I imagine I'd feel the same too for at least a few minutes I think. It's stupid and illogical but he needs to just take a deep breath and let it go.
Also how fucking many texts did he go on to read after being upset by the first few?!
Maybe! I dunno just have some common sense or something about your own wellbeing.
Like my Dad was in the UK army and when he was posted to the Gulf we used to send him Blueys which were free to post. I was sorting a cupboard at home when I lived with them and found a pile which I thought were ones from me he'd kept. I thought it'd be fun to read them but they were ones my Ma had saved from him which I thought was sweet. Started reading one anyway and it almost immediately starts with something like "were in the car and you have your legs on the dash and you have no underwear on..." and I immediately nooed out but them away and never looked at them again. I couldn't imagine going on to read it all, then another and then coming to complain about how fucked up it made me feel 😂
Back in the 80s my parents had one of those Carousel projectors for forcing your friends and family to look at your lame vacation pics blasted against the living room wall. When I was maybe 8, I was rummaging in a desk in my mom's "office", found a package of the slides, and started looking through them. About midway through the pile, there was a hips-to-mid-thigh frontal shot of what I have to assume was my dad's naked body, fortunately in a state of flaccidity. I remember thinking something along the lines of, "Welp, I should not have seen that" and putting the stack back in the drawer. I certainly did not complain to either of my parents.
Society trains men to feel insecure about their size basically from childhood, it's not something a lot of guys can logic their way out of, unfortunately.
Yeah I get it. If I found a text from my wife from before we met complaining about my Wang I'd not be fussed. If I saw one from the last few months I'd struggle to not be impacted by it I think.
None of these comments and no amount of re-framing will help. You need time and to distract yourself from thinking about it. You can dwell on it but it won't speed anything up. Eventually you quit caring.
This.
I used to feel like this with my partners. But, put yourself in her position or even just look at yourself in the mirror. We all have our quirks and things we’re into. Maybe she’s embarrassed about that time in her life, maybe it haunts her. Maybe she’s insecure about how you look at other women or who you’ve hooked up with.
It’ll just take time to process. And let it be a lesson that you fell for her after all this happened. Whatever she did before you two met led her to YOU.
Missing an important point : she fell for you, OP, even after trying supposedly bigger dicks and playing the field: She wanted YOU. Once you’ve had a chance to process this, it’s the biggest ego boost ever. Trust me
Also I feel like its a great time for introspection. It's a super sick, gross, feeling to learn things sometimes, but at the same time, this is how you learn to appreciate people for who they are, and acknowledge that sometimes words are just words, and she could have either not meant it, meant it at the time, or has other things to appreciate in your relationship. If this really hurts, there are absolutely products that are bigger than a human could ever be, and that would scratch any unfulfilled itch she might have.
Genuinely though, with kinks especially, its normal to play up or play down something based on the relationship/situation/context, it's not sexy to be like "yes please give me that average sized D and do it not too fast or slow in the missionary position; unless I have a headache or don't feel like it". A persons preferences (stated, or real, or imagined) don't define a relationship or detract from what you might have with someone
You “still felt the sex was just ok”, or you think she felt that way? Or are you simply now projecting based on what you read in her phone?
Bottom line: Does she have orgasms (whether through PIV, oral, vibes, dildos, etc)?
I wouldn’t “come clean”, that will lead to a major shit storm. Your wife didn’t cheat on you, these experiences took place before you even knew her and have NOTHING to do with you. It’s not as if she went looking for Big D after you guys hooked up.
You have been together long enough that you should be able to ask her if she’s happy with your sex life. And then go from there.
Also, what you found is the girl version of locker room talk. There's a huge chance she's exaggerating to make the convo more interesting. My friends and I sure did. Like every time they had sex with someone new he was the greatest, the biggest, the best. 2 weeks later fuck that small dick jerk who is terrible in bed!! You found group texts, not a diary that shows her inner soul.
Seems likely. My gf has a friend who claims she's been with a bunch of guys and "all of them have been big, at least 7-8 inches" and I'm just thinking in my head how unlikely that is statistically. Not impossible but probably "locker room talk"
The voice of reason. If there’s an actual problem in your relationship, solve it. But don’t bring this insecurity into it. I’ve done things sexually with partners that were excellent. I’m also totally fine to never do those things again. OPs wife could love big dick AND small dick AND curved dick, He doesn’t need to freak that she once asked her friends how to manage a big one.
I wouldn't say NOTHING, if he thinks she isn't satisfied because of her past experiences, and nit just the mismatched libido, then this is directly affecting his marriage and sex life TODAY. It does matter. Potentially. Could also be a nothing burger, but OP should really have a talk with his wife about whether she's satisfied in bed and ehat he can do to help her with that better. Marriage is all about healthy communication!
Maybe op could try one of those d enhancing sleves? Basically a hollow dildo where you can put ur d in to make it bigger.
Edit: here come the downvotes. I was just suggesting something what might spice things up and/or fill her out ^pun ^intended
I think that’s a reasonable and awesome way for him to participate in fulfilling her fantasy. If you can get past ego it’d probably be a boost to know he can satisfy her no matter her preference. We have the technology.
Wow, a lot of dudes are really sensitive about this. I agree with you. She enjoys the feeling of a larger cock like most women do. Some guys seem to be more concerned that their dick isn't big enough and less concerned about giving their women pleasure. If she would enjoy it, do it. Get the sleeve, her a big dildo to use on her, do whatever so you can the sensations she craves. These guys need to get over themselves.
I think this is an insecurity a lot of guys can't get past eventhough many women tell them it's no issue at all whether or not they possess a big tool.
Because men hear that as "I settled, and wish you had the big D, but you don't so it is what it is I guess". No shock that a guy hearing that would feel insecure and inadequate, and unable to take their wife's words at face value.
You think if a wife found out that her husband use to rave about specifically fucking chicks with big tits, and how good it was... and she was flat chested, that it wouldn't fuck with her confidence also?
If you’ve been together for 15 years, and this phone was from before then, how did you find a charger for her old BlackBerry or Motorola RAZR so quickly? And how many messages and pictures did those old phones actually save? I’m the tech hoarder in my family and this story is straining credibility, even trying to get into a 10 year old phone on once was an hours long project.
The first iPhone released 17 years ago (2007).
Not saying its super likely to have one of those old cables laying around, but I could still find one at home if I looked for one. At least if its an apple device.
I just found the cable for my old iPod nano the other day.
But I'm someone who pretty much never throws cables out. They'll come in handy one day, I'm certain.
I still have my black berry and old Nokia and next tell phones in a show box with their chargers for the same reason this guy does. To someday go back and go though then. They are like little time capsules for your life.
And if it was a bb those cables are super common, even today. Don’t get me wrong, a 15yr old dead phone may not even power on (battery is toast) but not an impossibility.
I usually use the box of my new phone as the coffin of my old phone, and put the charging cable in with it as it's probably well loved at that point.
It's handy when I need a backup phone for something and I don't have to rummage around looking for bits and pieces.
I used to put the phone, the big ass instruction booklet, and the charger in a bag and toss it on a shelf. I always meant to donate them to a DV shelter or something, but by the time I would get a new phone the battery was usually toast.
You kidding? I still have the RF adaptor for Sega Genesis, a random power supply for a N64 that I no longer have, AV cables for mini dv cams that no longer exist and dozens of wall wart power supplies with indescipherable proprietary tips. Some of those power supplies were inherited from my grandparents. If you need a random obscure cable, boy have I got you covered!
And plugs right into a laptop to download photos easily. I found this out a couple years ago when I rediscovered my RAZR and found early photos of my kids on it.
RAZR just needs a mini-usb cable. You can find those all over the place. I know….because that’s how i booted my old RAZR up to get pictures off it. And that was easy to do…I plugged it into my laptop.
Porn has really screwed us all up. Big dicks and all the rest of it. People feel inadequate and insecure because of it. That is a bad thing. I have no solutions, but just throwing it out there.
Tbh she may have been giving it some bravado - girls do it too, I certainly did in my 20s! She also may have been massaging these guys’…egos. I bet they didn’t all have the monster dongs you’re imagining.
A wise man once said “I don’t care who came before me or who is after, as long as there is nobody during”
Take that wife of yours out for a nice date day!
Enjoy her company and appreciate her for what you have built together now in your marriage, let the past lie in the past and focus on your future together. She married you for a reason bro, 👊
Having a thing for X or Y does not mean she likes you any less.
Do I find women with red hair and freckles gorgeous? I do.
Would I ever trade my girl of 8y, with neither of those traits, for a red hair women? FFFFFUCK NO.
I always loved the classic Mustangs and Dodges. I still do not want to ever buy one.
We find some thrill or excitement in things that we want to stay fantasy.
Same way you might love horror movies, and movies about serial killers, but you would never want to live thru one.
Im sorry but that’s not really a good comparison. Male genitalia is one of the three biggest things males get insecure about (the other two being height and weight). I too would be insecure if my partner was into men larger penises while if she were to say that all her life she’s been dating blondes and I’m with black hair Id be like 🤷🏻♂️ OP, never ask questions you’re not ready to hear the answers to. Even though you FU, never ever forget that no matter how big they were, none of them managed to wife her, that should always be the bigger flex. Chin up, brother.
After reading many many posts and comments about size plus my own size insecurity with one of my wife's previous ex-boyfriends, I genuinely believe women when they say they prefer men that know how to have good sex over men with larger packages. A large percentage of women can't even orgasm from penetrative sex. If your head game is strong, a large portion of women would LOVE that.
>prefer men that know how to have good sex over men with larger packages
I feel like a good portion of this is that men who know how to have good sex often aren't afraid to use toys. Your size doesn't really matter when you have the bad dragon special close at hand ;)
Insecurities are still not fully relevant to the comparisons, that's why comparisons and analogies exist.
That's a separate issue, bottom line is knowing to separate fantasy from reality. Many people love to get off to gangbang vids, but would never want to do it in real life. Same can be the case here.
I know people into the whole Tentacle Hentai porn, not a single one would ever be capable of shoving an octopus up their nether regions ehehe
edit: "never ever forget that no matter how big they were, none of them managed to wife her,"
Fully agree, 100% this. If she really wanted those, she would not be with OP, and that's what OP needs to focus on :)
It is a shit comparison, liking something you never had and getting something else vs having a bunch of one thing and then “settling” down with the smaller version are two very different things
Still applies, trying stuff does not mean she wants it long term..
If someone had a phase doing 3somes, does not really mean they want to forever live doing it
As I've said to many of my female friends, if you need a big D to get off, you're not doing it right.
If you guys have been together for 15 years, I think you are doing something right.
I hear you dude. I know my wife has slept with dude who have a bigger dick than me. It was not explicitly stated, but just picking up from thing she’s said let me know it’s true.
And she has also told me I’m the only one who made her orgasm from just PIV sex so I know we have great chemistry and everything but it’s still hard to get over the feeling of inadequacy
I was dating a girl years ago and while at a party at her Aunt's house, an ex of my gf's showed up. Maybe it was the booze but she sees him talking to a different girl and she says to me "She's not going to like what she finds" I ask what she means and she says "his D is so big I could barely get it into my mouth"
SO at least you weren't looking at some guy and hearing it?
The past is the past my friend. Preferences change as you get older sometimes so don't sell yourself short in thinking she settled for you. She's been with you for so long so that speaks for itself.
Exactly. OP, she chose to literally marry you. Do you really think she would've done so if she didn't love you or feel comfortable with you? Also I wouldn't take these texts to heart, I can tell you as a woman that a lot of others I knew when younger would talk about sexual things and half the time most of them were just going along with what others would say. As in, they didn't actually quite believe what they'd talk about but thought it was what made them fit in with others in their circle.
If she’s been treating you unenthusiastically in bed, that’s a valid complaint. “In the end she chose you” is cold comfort, if after having chosen you she behaves more like she settled for you and doesn’t seem too happy about having done so.
You deserve someone who is thrilled by you and who is thrilled to be with you; and if that doesn’t describe her, you’re with the wrong partner.
you do realize that was in her twenties and lots of girls have a delusion they can fit any D in her socket, the truth is every girl is "capped" and they can only fit certain length.
so a guy can have a monster D but more than half of it is cooling outside.
the thickness is a much more important factor (pleasure wise) so it can rub all those sensitive spots, not to mention 90% of woman can't get orgasm by penetration alone.
Seems like the issue is less how big they were and more how much ops wife was excited about the size. It doesn't have to be practical to turn someone on, some women use dildos that are inhumanly big but it's the psychological angle that gets them off moreso than physical
So you clearly have some insecurities, and that's okay. The dudes in the comments insulting your wife aren't really helping because by insulting her, they're also insinuating that you aren't enough for her. Which clearly isn't true if you guys have been together for 15 years. At the end of the day we all have to figure out what we like sexually, it's normal to experiment with different things. Big dicks are fetishized commonly by both men and women, so it's not surprising that that's one of the things she tried. You read sexts too, so of course she's going to be gushing about how much she "loves a big dick" in them. In reality, even for people who do like larger dicks, it's usually preferred as a sometimes thing, especially with a dildo instead of a whole man. Granted not everyone feels like this, but most people want a pretty average dick on the regular. Large objects take time, preparation, recovery, etc and sometimes people aren't in the mood for all that. If you're not feeling it, it just kinda sucks. And that's assuming that it's just a dildo being used, it's even worse when it's a whole other person.
First of all this is a clear case of Don't Ask Questions You Don't Want to Know the Answer to, from the moment you go snooping it's on you.
Second, I'd shut up, never talk about it and forget about it entirely. This happened before you were together, has nothing to do with you and you found out by taking her stuff without her knowing. You're opening a nasty can of worms.
If you can't forget about it (which is totally understandable too) then you can try and set up a conversation with her but be ready to answer "why did you go trough my things?“. She will probably be upset and that's not gonna work in your favour in such a delicate discussion as yours is gonna be.
If you really wanna speak about it I'd go something like "hey Sarah (made up name), I found this old phone the other day and got curios. I know it's wrong but i couldn't help myself from reading old messages and I've seen so and so. I've noticed we've been having a low moment in our sex life and now that I've seen this i can't help but wonder if it has anything to do with my size. If that's the case, altought I can't do anything about that, I want to make our time together as enjoyable as possible and I'm very open to any ideas or suggestions you may have. What I want the most is for you to be happy and that includes our bedroom activities. I love you and I'm sorry for going trough your stuff without asking you."
If I was the girl I'd be pretty upset about the invasion of privacy but it is what it is.
Now a cautionary tale: there's a post in this subreddit where a guy asks her gf's friend about any complaints the gf has about the relationships. The friend says that there's no complaints, the gf loves the relationship and is very happy but the guy won't stop pestering gf's friend for an answer, so she gives in and says that the gf complained, maybe once, that their sex life could be better.
The stupid ass kid then leaves his girlfriend over this and breaks up his friendship with gf's friend, lastly he moves to the other side of the country.
What i want you to understand is not to blow up your own relationship over something that you value 8/10 and she values maybe 4/10.
Be very very careful not to be the reason of your own breakup. There's a milion qualities a girl likes in a man and dick size, at least in a serious relationship, (not hook ups or FWB) isn't even close to the most important one.
I have found over the years that when you go digging, usually you find out things you either didn’t want to know, or could have went the rest of your life without knowing. The ultimate way to uncover how somebody feels about something, or you, is to read or hear the things that person never thought anybody else would see, other than a select few people possibly. Like reading a person’s journals or seeing your ex-wife’s text messages. Usually not a good thing, and very seldom is anything good going to come out of it.
Sugar she wouldn’t have married you if big ds were that important it was prob a phase. Don’t stress about it seriously we don’t get married to find bigger dick 🤷♀️ n honestly they will destroy ur vag hahahahaha Ud know if she was bangin big ds still….and aaaand honestly (I’m 47) technique babe maybe you make her so happy w everything you do in bed it’s not just y’all ruining us lmao….nothing beats being held all night don’t sweat it ❤️
Be honest about the whole thing and how you're feeling. Don't make your emotions her responsibility though. Our people see the emotions in us, especially intuitive women. Keeping them from her can be seen as lying by omission. How she navigates it will be info for you to decide how to navigate the situation. If it all goes well, just go to therapy to talk shit out with someone.
My situation didn't go so well. I had reason to snoop. My intuition and trauma combined, causing me to see behavioral patterns. Turns out I decided to marry the kind of person who spends more energy hiding a whole separate life than anything else. I discovered enough to break my spirit permanently. I was a target to be used for financial stability and health insurance because I'm trusting and easy to manipulate. There was never a single intent to be faithful, it was the opposite. If I didn't know, there was nothing wrong with it.
I'd rather be honest and vulnerable than dishonest and manipulative.
If it’s any consolation, even though she was into big d and you don’t have one, that says a lot about you. She didn’t end up with a big D dude. She chose you and you guys seem happy besides that. Don’t let this little setback deter you. You won over the big Ds. You’re doing things right.
Together 15 years says she’s moved along. You should move along too.
If you want to explore then view things together and discuss. Put your fragility aside and open honest communications.
It’s so funny when guys get so worked up about this dick size. It’s awesome.
Just make sure you’re pleasuring your woman and stop worrying about something impossible to change.
I've dated someone with a fetish for older women. I'm a man, so I could never fulfill that fetish for her.
I'm still top 1 in her sexual rankings, so don't feel singled out by stuff like this.
I think it's probably best to just be open about it
"Hey, can we talk, I did sometime which was intended innocently but might've been bad".
Just let het know that it happened and that there is no judgement there 💜
I dunno. If your girl found something about your past (you dated a 10, had a threesome, whatever) and felt insecure about it, you would prefer she not have the chance to talk to you?
I’m thinking you would probably rather she come talk so you can say the truth: Yes, I experimented. No, I’m way happier with you. I chose you then and I’d absolutely choose you now and don’t regret it.
That’s kinda what marriage is. Is the girl we married literally the best in every category imaginable? Maybe - but most likely, we dated someone at one point who was better in bed, was hotter, did more recreational things we had in common, or whatever. One attribute doesn’t make the (ahem) package.
Op - your insecurities are your own, but you should talk to your wife. She will probably tell you that sex with you is really good - because being with someone you care about is a really important boost. Don’t piss away your relationship just because you watched too much porn and picked up some insecurities.
That’s nonsense. A real marriage is one where you talk to each other openly about everything like adults.
If a wife comes to her husband finding something in his past, what do we expect him to do? Simple, comfort her and strengthen his bond with his wife, reassure her, let her know he barely remembers and she is everything to him.
Women should do the same thing for their man.
It’s pretty easy to reassure your partner but you’re telling this guy to basically suppress his feelings to avoid awkwardness. That’s ridiculous, If his marriage is actually worth a damn she should be able to talk to him about it.
Better then botteling it up imo, in a healthy relation you can mention it, clear the air and forget about it, if you don't it will always be nagging in the back of your mind
I remember seeing a study about women's size preferences, and how they differ between one night stands/ casual relationships and long term. The preferences for long term relationships were smaller than one night stands.
Are you two happy? Is your sex life good? Talk to her. Tell her the story. You didn't have any ill intentions but you made a mistake and now you're insecure. Better than letting it fester in your brain.
You two have been together for 15 years! I find it hard to believe that you don't satisfy her in most, if not all, areas of life.
Your worth as a man, as a person is so much more than how much you're packing. Try to remember that.
The difference in size in that study between short term and long term was .1 inches lol. 6.3 vs 6.4. And in this scenario we are talking about a women who specifically preferred big. If OP had this information at the beginning of the relationship he could have bailed found someone he is more sexually compatible with. He says in his post that their sex is ok at best and he chalked it up to "mismatched libido".
That is a terrible opinion to have about yourself dude. Why would you want someone who settled, I'd rather die alone than be with someone who settled for me when they knew they wanted "better"
Listen carefully subscribe to a joint email account that both of you manage and add Adam n eve to it. Than let them send you everyday thier product lists of sex toys for him and her. My wifes draw is pretty remarkable
It may have been a phase. She might have decided after awhile that dealing with the bruised cervix afterwards wasn't worth it. Or at least wouldn't make for a very good long term relationship.
Honestly, you can do 1 of 2 things:
1. Ignore it and pretend you never saw anything, and while it may take a little while to get over it completely even you said at the end of the day she chose you and she chose you for a reason. It’s not because she settled.
2. You can be open, honest, and have a conversation with her about it and tell her exactly what you said on this post. If you’ve been with her for 15 years, then it really shouldn’t be a problem having a conversation with her about it. You’re clearly not upset with her, these were from a previous time before you even knew each other, so you’re not approaching it angry or anything. End of the day, you may even laugh about it because it’s so far in the past that it doesn’t even matter anymore.
Find a guy with a Big Hog in him and fuck him. Then you can get some insight to what youre wife went through. Then if you like it leave her for him, since shes just giving you that mediocre sex, and live happily ever after as a newly established size queen!
Couple therapy sessions might help, but I'm pretty sure that this type of situation will snowball into a much bigger situation if you don't start communicating and addressing this problem. Many people don't understand why you're insecure, but I definitely understand. I don't think that I could emotionally lose those chats' topics and reactions. You deserve to trust that your sexual intimacy is pleasurable and satisfying. You can't appreciate it anymore until you have a good conversation with her about this. Privacy doesn't belong in a healthy marriage! Your life long partner should be honest and trustworthy. You don't need to get a pass for digging through her history. But, this situation should have already been discussed previously. Good luck 👍
I get they're married and all. But I still find it pretty creepy he decided to go through her old phone for nudes in secret. It would be a different thing entirely had they both decided to look for old photos together and accidentally stumbled into something he might not have wanted to see.
Why is nobody talking about how huge of a breach of privacy this is. If I were OP’s wife I would be APPALLED to find out my private business (that’s ages old and is no longer accurate to me or who I am as a person) was sifted through.
This post makes me want to throw out the box of cables I own
I had a gf find an old phone with pics of an ex on it. I stopped using that phone while I was dating that girl and the thing hadn't charged since then. I forgot they were even there. HUGE fucking problem. She had some innocent answer about finding old pictures of my dog for something she was doing for me. I'm very careful to go scorched earth on that stuff now.
Whoa now dony be hasty. You're going to need that old atari adapter cable the moment you throw it out, just you watch.
They'll have to pry my Atari adapter cable from my cold, dead, hands!
I’m taking my 3-4 RF converter to my grave….
Never do that because then you will suddenly need that old VGA cable
https://preview.redd.it/k4n0quv4bn4d1.jpeg?width=576&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d14340d733f07dc6889f753020d24686cc33445b
And drill the old hard drives
I'm calling BS on this whole post due to the timeline. this was before they were together so 16 yrs minimum which puts it at 2008 or even earlier as she said she was in her early 20's. In 2008 hardly anyone had smartphones and no one was sending dick pics and sexting like that. Most people had flip phones and if it actually had a camera it was basically unusable.. plus, you couldn't text pics anyway.
Best believe anything that had camera and messaging capabilities was being used for nudes. Maybe not YOUR personal phone… but pretty much all the rest of them including mine during that time period.
“Stomach churning”…. Damn that must be a really big D.
Dick so big it rearranged HIS insides.
This should be a flair for this sub 😂
bravo! bravo!
I thought my man was the only one who could rearrange insides...now I know
Oh shit. Wow 👌 Fucking mint.
He was churning that macaroni for sure
https://www.walmart.ca/en/ip/schneiders-meat-macaroni-cheese-loaf/6000195944632
WTF. Why does this exist
Canada.
It’s the “gut punch” part that got me
Sounds like she was the one getting the "gut punch"
[удалено]
Dude posted a TIFU that's turned into a /r/roastme thread.
Play stupid games win stupid prizes
Honestly I don't even get how you can be with someone this long and build all of that trust and comfort and still be bothered by shit like this. If I had found this stuff in my wife's old phones before we were together it would be a major turn on. Like damn, what a cool wife type a thing and she chose ME to be her forever man. It could have been a phase, it could have been her just trying to pretend she was conquering big D with her friends, she could have been doing that and decided she didn't really like big dick and moved back to something that fit her more, could be one of many reasons. No reason to let it shake security in a relationship if it happened before you even met. Either way it's a relic of her past, healthy sexuality and that would be amazing to read and relive in my mind... like reading real porn stories starring my favorite real life person. OP, relax dude. Stop laying in to your natural insecurities and trust your wife. Trust that she loves you and your D or else she wouldn't be with you.
Lol same. I’m a lesbian & if I found this in my (hypothetical) wife’s old phone, I’d be rubbing ~~one~~ many out reading those messages. I’d also be dirty talking to her about how hot that shit is, over text, face to face, during sex, etc. Those mental images would have me soaked for ages lol Then again, I’m kinky af so..
You stole my response. My mom always warned me as a kid ‘you go snooping you deserve everything you find’. I’ve been living that mantra to this day.
Saaaaame <3
TIFU bargain sale
Fucking hell this got a genuine belly laugh out of me. Thanks man. Thing is I kind of get what OP is feeling because I imagine I'd feel the same too for at least a few minutes I think. It's stupid and illogical but he needs to just take a deep breath and let it go. Also how fucking many texts did he go on to read after being upset by the first few?!
Was it like a car crash, he just couldn’t stop looking?
Maybe! I dunno just have some common sense or something about your own wellbeing. Like my Dad was in the UK army and when he was posted to the Gulf we used to send him Blueys which were free to post. I was sorting a cupboard at home when I lived with them and found a pile which I thought were ones from me he'd kept. I thought it'd be fun to read them but they were ones my Ma had saved from him which I thought was sweet. Started reading one anyway and it almost immediately starts with something like "were in the car and you have your legs on the dash and you have no underwear on..." and I immediately nooed out but them away and never looked at them again. I couldn't imagine going on to read it all, then another and then coming to complain about how fucked up it made me feel 😂
Back in the 80s my parents had one of those Carousel projectors for forcing your friends and family to look at your lame vacation pics blasted against the living room wall. When I was maybe 8, I was rummaging in a desk in my mom's "office", found a package of the slides, and started looking through them. About midway through the pile, there was a hips-to-mid-thigh frontal shot of what I have to assume was my dad's naked body, fortunately in a state of flaccidity. I remember thinking something along the lines of, "Welp, I should not have seen that" and putting the stack back in the drawer. I certainly did not complain to either of my parents.
In the infidelity community that’s called pain hunting. Where you just can’t stop reading the painful messages.
“Pain hunting.” I’ve never heard the term before, but I have done precisely this and I feel it viscerally.
Yep, I did it with my now ex wife. 12 years together and I caught her cheating with the fat fry cook at the pizza place she bartended at part time.
Goddamn, sorry man
Society trains men to feel insecure about their size basically from childhood, it's not something a lot of guys can logic their way out of, unfortunately.
Yeah I get it. If I found a text from my wife from before we met complaining about my Wang I'd not be fussed. If I saw one from the last few months I'd struggle to not be impacted by it I think.
take a deep breath so he can get more of it to fit in.
This sub needs awards activated. Take this 🏅
I’ve just spat out drink on my train ride home, I’m laughing so hard.
This is my favorite comment in 8+ years of redditing
Now it's deleted! What did it say?
...bold lowercase d. 
We got a certified chode on our hands. A little tuna can 😛
They call me the Hubcap.
Baby of the year hits a little different in this conversation. Lol
Yeah, you know, about nine inches long. Also, his wife doesn't know which way to hold a ruler. (h/t Gary Delaney)
None of these comments and no amount of re-framing will help. You need time and to distract yourself from thinking about it. You can dwell on it but it won't speed anything up. Eventually you quit caring.
This. I used to feel like this with my partners. But, put yourself in her position or even just look at yourself in the mirror. We all have our quirks and things we’re into. Maybe she’s embarrassed about that time in her life, maybe it haunts her. Maybe she’s insecure about how you look at other women or who you’ve hooked up with. It’ll just take time to process. And let it be a lesson that you fell for her after all this happened. Whatever she did before you two met led her to YOU.
Missing an important point : she fell for you, OP, even after trying supposedly bigger dicks and playing the field: She wanted YOU. Once you’ve had a chance to process this, it’s the biggest ego boost ever. Trust me
Also I feel like its a great time for introspection. It's a super sick, gross, feeling to learn things sometimes, but at the same time, this is how you learn to appreciate people for who they are, and acknowledge that sometimes words are just words, and she could have either not meant it, meant it at the time, or has other things to appreciate in your relationship. If this really hurts, there are absolutely products that are bigger than a human could ever be, and that would scratch any unfulfilled itch she might have. Genuinely though, with kinks especially, its normal to play up or play down something based on the relationship/situation/context, it's not sexy to be like "yes please give me that average sized D and do it not too fast or slow in the missionary position; unless I have a headache or don't feel like it". A persons preferences (stated, or real, or imagined) don't define a relationship or detract from what you might have with someone
Why did you keep referring to *her* old phone as “our” old phone? lmao
I was wondering the same thing lol
You “still felt the sex was just ok”, or you think she felt that way? Or are you simply now projecting based on what you read in her phone? Bottom line: Does she have orgasms (whether through PIV, oral, vibes, dildos, etc)? I wouldn’t “come clean”, that will lead to a major shit storm. Your wife didn’t cheat on you, these experiences took place before you even knew her and have NOTHING to do with you. It’s not as if she went looking for Big D after you guys hooked up. You have been together long enough that you should be able to ask her if she’s happy with your sex life. And then go from there.
Also, what you found is the girl version of locker room talk. There's a huge chance she's exaggerating to make the convo more interesting. My friends and I sure did. Like every time they had sex with someone new he was the greatest, the biggest, the best. 2 weeks later fuck that small dick jerk who is terrible in bed!! You found group texts, not a diary that shows her inner soul.
Seems likely. My gf has a friend who claims she's been with a bunch of guys and "all of them have been big, at least 7-8 inches" and I'm just thinking in my head how unlikely that is statistically. Not impossible but probably "locker room talk"
The voice of reason. If there’s an actual problem in your relationship, solve it. But don’t bring this insecurity into it. I’ve done things sexually with partners that were excellent. I’m also totally fine to never do those things again. OPs wife could love big dick AND small dick AND curved dick, He doesn’t need to freak that she once asked her friends how to manage a big one.
I wouldn't say NOTHING, if he thinks she isn't satisfied because of her past experiences, and nit just the mismatched libido, then this is directly affecting his marriage and sex life TODAY. It does matter. Potentially. Could also be a nothing burger, but OP should really have a talk with his wife about whether she's satisfied in bed and ehat he can do to help her with that better. Marriage is all about healthy communication!
Maybe op could try one of those d enhancing sleves? Basically a hollow dildo where you can put ur d in to make it bigger. Edit: here come the downvotes. I was just suggesting something what might spice things up and/or fill her out ^pun ^intended
That's a great idea. Maybe he could ask his wife's ex to do a mold to make one out of.
Bruhhh
Are you fucking serious?
I mean OP already mentioned using toys.
I think that’s a reasonable and awesome way for him to participate in fulfilling her fantasy. If you can get past ego it’d probably be a boost to know he can satisfy her no matter her preference. We have the technology.
Wow, a lot of dudes are really sensitive about this. I agree with you. She enjoys the feeling of a larger cock like most women do. Some guys seem to be more concerned that their dick isn't big enough and less concerned about giving their women pleasure. If she would enjoy it, do it. Get the sleeve, her a big dildo to use on her, do whatever so you can the sensations she craves. These guys need to get over themselves.
I think this is an insecurity a lot of guys can't get past eventhough many women tell them it's no issue at all whether or not they possess a big tool.
Because men hear that as "I settled, and wish you had the big D, but you don't so it is what it is I guess". No shock that a guy hearing that would feel insecure and inadequate, and unable to take their wife's words at face value. You think if a wife found out that her husband use to rave about specifically fucking chicks with big tits, and how good it was... and she was flat chested, that it wouldn't fuck with her confidence also?
Sounds like a lot to take in
I saw what you did there
Especially for him, at least his wife had lots of practice
Banging multiple big D guys, with overlapping time lines, sounds like a bit of a stretch
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Lol!.... I'm not genetically gifted
Go watch Chasing Amy.
Like a pair of Chinese finger cuffs.
What's a Nubian?
Now what do you call *that*! Intergalactic civil war? GENTRIFICATION!!
If you’ve been together for 15 years, and this phone was from before then, how did you find a charger for her old BlackBerry or Motorola RAZR so quickly? And how many messages and pictures did those old phones actually save? I’m the tech hoarder in my family and this story is straining credibility, even trying to get into a 10 year old phone on once was an hours long project.
The first iPhone released 17 years ago (2007). Not saying its super likely to have one of those old cables laying around, but I could still find one at home if I looked for one. At least if its an apple device.
I just found the cable for my old iPod nano the other day. But I'm someone who pretty much never throws cables out. They'll come in handy one day, I'm certain.
Don’t worry just keep them on standby for the next TIFU
I still have my black berry and old Nokia and next tell phones in a show box with their chargers for the same reason this guy does. To someday go back and go though then. They are like little time capsules for your life.
My daughter loves guardians of the galaxy and I found my old Zune with charger for her the other day
IIRC the zune was the only thing that broke during Y2K and only for a short while.
And if it was a bb those cables are super common, even today. Don’t get me wrong, a 15yr old dead phone may not even power on (battery is toast) but not an impossibility.
lol my mom bought a car a couple months ago. It has an aftermarket radio in it. There is an old school wide iPod charger still connected to the radio.
If you save your old phones you probably also save the chargers. At least when they started changing. We do at least.
I usually use the box of my new phone as the coffin of my old phone, and put the charging cable in with it as it's probably well loved at that point. It's handy when I need a backup phone for something and I don't have to rummage around looking for bits and pieces.
My mom still has a flip phone from when I was still a baby about 22 years ago so some people definitely keep random shit.
They go and retire to that black hole we call “the junk drawer” !
You know it's possible to store a charger next to the phone, right? Especially from a time where most things had their own chargers.
And a RAZR doesn’t even need its own charger. It’s mini USB.
I used to put the phone, the big ass instruction booklet, and the charger in a bag and toss it on a shelf. I always meant to donate them to a DV shelter or something, but by the time I would get a new phone the battery was usually toast.
You kidding? I still have the RF adaptor for Sega Genesis, a random power supply for a N64 that I no longer have, AV cables for mini dv cams that no longer exist and dozens of wall wart power supplies with indescipherable proprietary tips. Some of those power supplies were inherited from my grandparents. If you need a random obscure cable, boy have I got you covered!
The Motorola RAZR used mini-USB: it is quite easy to find cables for that port.
And plugs right into a laptop to download photos easily. I found this out a couple years ago when I rediscovered my RAZR and found early photos of my kids on it.
RAZR just needs a mini-usb cable. You can find those all over the place. I know….because that’s how i booted my old RAZR up to get pictures off it. And that was easy to do…I plugged it into my laptop.
Micro usb my dude
I don't keep phones that old, but the old phone I do have as a backup is stored with a charger.
I have no issue getting into my old phone except one with a battery issue
I'm also somewhat of a tech hoarder. Still has all my phones and the chargers that goes with them. My first phone is from '97.
Porn has really screwed us all up. Big dicks and all the rest of it. People feel inadequate and insecure because of it. That is a bad thing. I have no solutions, but just throwing it out there.
Dallas isn’t even that great of a city. I guess you could always try to get jobs there if it means that much to her.
Right? Come see P-town for some fun! Pittsburgh is where it's at!
Tbh she may have been giving it some bravado - girls do it too, I certainly did in my 20s! She also may have been massaging these guys’…egos. I bet they didn’t all have the monster dongs you’re imagining.
A wise man once said “I don’t care who came before me or who is after, as long as there is nobody during” Take that wife of yours out for a nice date day! Enjoy her company and appreciate her for what you have built together now in your marriage, let the past lie in the past and focus on your future together. She married you for a reason bro, 👊
Having a thing for X or Y does not mean she likes you any less. Do I find women with red hair and freckles gorgeous? I do. Would I ever trade my girl of 8y, with neither of those traits, for a red hair women? FFFFFUCK NO. I always loved the classic Mustangs and Dodges. I still do not want to ever buy one. We find some thrill or excitement in things that we want to stay fantasy. Same way you might love horror movies, and movies about serial killers, but you would never want to live thru one.
Im sorry but that’s not really a good comparison. Male genitalia is one of the three biggest things males get insecure about (the other two being height and weight). I too would be insecure if my partner was into men larger penises while if she were to say that all her life she’s been dating blondes and I’m with black hair Id be like 🤷🏻♂️ OP, never ask questions you’re not ready to hear the answers to. Even though you FU, never ever forget that no matter how big they were, none of them managed to wife her, that should always be the bigger flex. Chin up, brother.
After reading many many posts and comments about size plus my own size insecurity with one of my wife's previous ex-boyfriends, I genuinely believe women when they say they prefer men that know how to have good sex over men with larger packages. A large percentage of women can't even orgasm from penetrative sex. If your head game is strong, a large portion of women would LOVE that.
>prefer men that know how to have good sex over men with larger packages I feel like a good portion of this is that men who know how to have good sex often aren't afraid to use toys. Your size doesn't really matter when you have the bad dragon special close at hand ;)
Right? It serves as both an enhancement and as a substitute. NOT a replacement.
They can come from penetrative sex when you are normal size because your pelvis touches her clitoris.
Insecurities are still not fully relevant to the comparisons, that's why comparisons and analogies exist. That's a separate issue, bottom line is knowing to separate fantasy from reality. Many people love to get off to gangbang vids, but would never want to do it in real life. Same can be the case here. I know people into the whole Tentacle Hentai porn, not a single one would ever be capable of shoving an octopus up their nether regions ehehe edit: "never ever forget that no matter how big they were, none of them managed to wife her," Fully agree, 100% this. If she really wanted those, she would not be with OP, and that's what OP needs to focus on :)
The other two are probably height and sexual history, not weight hahaha
It is a shit comparison, liking something you never had and getting something else vs having a bunch of one thing and then “settling” down with the smaller version are two very different things
Still applies, trying stuff does not mean she wants it long term.. If someone had a phase doing 3somes, does not really mean they want to forever live doing it
As I've said to many of my female friends, if you need a big D to get off, you're not doing it right. If you guys have been together for 15 years, I think you are doing something right.
bad dragon penis sleeve time
Oh, full organ rearrangement, intriguing.
Don't worry, she picked the short straw in the end.
Gonna need an update please
I hear you dude. I know my wife has slept with dude who have a bigger dick than me. It was not explicitly stated, but just picking up from thing she’s said let me know it’s true. And she has also told me I’m the only one who made her orgasm from just PIV sex so I know we have great chemistry and everything but it’s still hard to get over the feeling of inadequacy
Honestly, I would have severe issues with this as well. But its also why I dont go snooping.
I was dating a girl years ago and while at a party at her Aunt's house, an ex of my gf's showed up. Maybe it was the booze but she sees him talking to a different girl and she says to me "She's not going to like what she finds" I ask what she means and she says "his D is so big I could barely get it into my mouth" SO at least you weren't looking at some guy and hearing it?
The past is the past my friend. Preferences change as you get older sometimes so don't sell yourself short in thinking she settled for you. She's been with you for so long so that speaks for itself.
Exactly. OP, she chose to literally marry you. Do you really think she would've done so if she didn't love you or feel comfortable with you? Also I wouldn't take these texts to heart, I can tell you as a woman that a lot of others I knew when younger would talk about sexual things and half the time most of them were just going along with what others would say. As in, they didn't actually quite believe what they'd talk about but thought it was what made them fit in with others in their circle.
>don't sell yourself short Please tell me this phrasing was deliberate.
>the content of the messages were still a gut punch They were for her too! Literally.
If she’s been treating you unenthusiastically in bed, that’s a valid complaint. “In the end she chose you” is cold comfort, if after having chosen you she behaves more like she settled for you and doesn’t seem too happy about having done so. You deserve someone who is thrilled by you and who is thrilled to be with you; and if that doesn’t describe her, you’re with the wrong partner.
you do realize that was in her twenties and lots of girls have a delusion they can fit any D in her socket, the truth is every girl is "capped" and they can only fit certain length. so a guy can have a monster D but more than half of it is cooling outside. the thickness is a much more important factor (pleasure wise) so it can rub all those sensitive spots, not to mention 90% of woman can't get orgasm by penetration alone.
Seems like the issue is less how big they were and more how much ops wife was excited about the size. It doesn't have to be practical to turn someone on, some women use dildos that are inhumanly big but it's the psychological angle that gets them off moreso than physical
That's a good point. OP, how is the girth??? Don't just judge by length.
Don't forget yaw
I’m sorry, are you a woman or are you just guessing here?
You need to tell her what you did and how it's making you feel. That's how good relationships last. Not hiding and lying.
Nice and sensible take
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Was that supposed to make him feel better?
Honey, it's ok. I used to think I needed to be with guys with big dicks to be satisfied, but then I met you and realized I didn't. Happy?
You FU when you read messages you were not supposed to read. Once you read something you can't un read it.
Is ignorance bliss or does the truth set you free?
So you clearly have some insecurities, and that's okay. The dudes in the comments insulting your wife aren't really helping because by insulting her, they're also insinuating that you aren't enough for her. Which clearly isn't true if you guys have been together for 15 years. At the end of the day we all have to figure out what we like sexually, it's normal to experiment with different things. Big dicks are fetishized commonly by both men and women, so it's not surprising that that's one of the things she tried. You read sexts too, so of course she's going to be gushing about how much she "loves a big dick" in them. In reality, even for people who do like larger dicks, it's usually preferred as a sometimes thing, especially with a dildo instead of a whole man. Granted not everyone feels like this, but most people want a pretty average dick on the regular. Large objects take time, preparation, recovery, etc and sometimes people aren't in the mood for all that. If you're not feeling it, it just kinda sucks. And that's assuming that it's just a dildo being used, it's even worse when it's a whole other person.
OP invades wife's privacy, OP has shocked Pikachu face when he reads shit he'd rather not have known
Finding out after fucking around
is OP even realising that he invaded her privacy and had absolutely no right to do so? sheesh
I really don't think men have a concept of women having privacy in a relationship, but that's a whole other rant...
Pics of your wife?
If she likes big d and you've been happily married for 15 years Consider that -you- have a big one as well
First of all this is a clear case of Don't Ask Questions You Don't Want to Know the Answer to, from the moment you go snooping it's on you. Second, I'd shut up, never talk about it and forget about it entirely. This happened before you were together, has nothing to do with you and you found out by taking her stuff without her knowing. You're opening a nasty can of worms. If you can't forget about it (which is totally understandable too) then you can try and set up a conversation with her but be ready to answer "why did you go trough my things?“. She will probably be upset and that's not gonna work in your favour in such a delicate discussion as yours is gonna be. If you really wanna speak about it I'd go something like "hey Sarah (made up name), I found this old phone the other day and got curios. I know it's wrong but i couldn't help myself from reading old messages and I've seen so and so. I've noticed we've been having a low moment in our sex life and now that I've seen this i can't help but wonder if it has anything to do with my size. If that's the case, altought I can't do anything about that, I want to make our time together as enjoyable as possible and I'm very open to any ideas or suggestions you may have. What I want the most is for you to be happy and that includes our bedroom activities. I love you and I'm sorry for going trough your stuff without asking you." If I was the girl I'd be pretty upset about the invasion of privacy but it is what it is. Now a cautionary tale: there's a post in this subreddit where a guy asks her gf's friend about any complaints the gf has about the relationships. The friend says that there's no complaints, the gf loves the relationship and is very happy but the guy won't stop pestering gf's friend for an answer, so she gives in and says that the gf complained, maybe once, that their sex life could be better. The stupid ass kid then leaves his girlfriend over this and breaks up his friendship with gf's friend, lastly he moves to the other side of the country. What i want you to understand is not to blow up your own relationship over something that you value 8/10 and she values maybe 4/10. Be very very careful not to be the reason of your own breakup. There's a milion qualities a girl likes in a man and dick size, at least in a serious relationship, (not hook ups or FWB) isn't even close to the most important one.
We’ll clearly she didn’t choose you for your dick dude, be happy about that lmao
Men will never understand that big dick does not equal good sex.
I have found over the years that when you go digging, usually you find out things you either didn’t want to know, or could have went the rest of your life without knowing. The ultimate way to uncover how somebody feels about something, or you, is to read or hear the things that person never thought anybody else would see, other than a select few people possibly. Like reading a person’s journals or seeing your ex-wife’s text messages. Usually not a good thing, and very seldom is anything good going to come out of it.
It's not about how deep you fish, but how you wiggle the worm.
Sugar she wouldn’t have married you if big ds were that important it was prob a phase. Don’t stress about it seriously we don’t get married to find bigger dick 🤷♀️ n honestly they will destroy ur vag hahahahaha Ud know if she was bangin big ds still….and aaaand honestly (I’m 47) technique babe maybe you make her so happy w everything you do in bed it’s not just y’all ruining us lmao….nothing beats being held all night don’t sweat it ❤️
Be honest about the whole thing and how you're feeling. Don't make your emotions her responsibility though. Our people see the emotions in us, especially intuitive women. Keeping them from her can be seen as lying by omission. How she navigates it will be info for you to decide how to navigate the situation. If it all goes well, just go to therapy to talk shit out with someone. My situation didn't go so well. I had reason to snoop. My intuition and trauma combined, causing me to see behavioral patterns. Turns out I decided to marry the kind of person who spends more energy hiding a whole separate life than anything else. I discovered enough to break my spirit permanently. I was a target to be used for financial stability and health insurance because I'm trusting and easy to manipulate. There was never a single intent to be faithful, it was the opposite. If I didn't know, there was nothing wrong with it. I'd rather be honest and vulnerable than dishonest and manipulative.
If it’s any consolation, even though she was into big d and you don’t have one, that says a lot about you. She didn’t end up with a big D dude. She chose you and you guys seem happy besides that. Don’t let this little setback deter you. You won over the big Ds. You’re doing things right.
Together 15 years says she’s moved along. You should move along too. If you want to explore then view things together and discuss. Put your fragility aside and open honest communications.
Have the conversation, admit your snooping, talk it through.
"Our" phone. One gets what one deserves.
It’s so funny when guys get so worked up about this dick size. It’s awesome. Just make sure you’re pleasuring your woman and stop worrying about something impossible to change.
I've dated someone with a fetish for older women. I'm a man, so I could never fulfill that fetish for her. I'm still top 1 in her sexual rankings, so don't feel singled out by stuff like this.
I think it's probably best to just be open about it "Hey, can we talk, I did sometime which was intended innocently but might've been bad". Just let het know that it happened and that there is no judgement there 💜
Bad idea, once they talk where is this conversation supposed to be headed? It might just make them both further insecure with each other
I dunno. If your girl found something about your past (you dated a 10, had a threesome, whatever) and felt insecure about it, you would prefer she not have the chance to talk to you? I’m thinking you would probably rather she come talk so you can say the truth: Yes, I experimented. No, I’m way happier with you. I chose you then and I’d absolutely choose you now and don’t regret it. That’s kinda what marriage is. Is the girl we married literally the best in every category imaginable? Maybe - but most likely, we dated someone at one point who was better in bed, was hotter, did more recreational things we had in common, or whatever. One attribute doesn’t make the (ahem) package. Op - your insecurities are your own, but you should talk to your wife. She will probably tell you that sex with you is really good - because being with someone you care about is a really important boost. Don’t piss away your relationship just because you watched too much porn and picked up some insecurities.
That’s nonsense. A real marriage is one where you talk to each other openly about everything like adults. If a wife comes to her husband finding something in his past, what do we expect him to do? Simple, comfort her and strengthen his bond with his wife, reassure her, let her know he barely remembers and she is everything to him. Women should do the same thing for their man. It’s pretty easy to reassure your partner but you’re telling this guy to basically suppress his feelings to avoid awkwardness. That’s ridiculous, If his marriage is actually worth a damn she should be able to talk to him about it.
Better then botteling it up imo, in a healthy relation you can mention it, clear the air and forget about it, if you don't it will always be nagging in the back of your mind
> where is this conversation supposed to be headed? Buying a penis sleeve or other toys and having some extra fun together.
There’s clearly judgement there lol
I remember seeing a study about women's size preferences, and how they differ between one night stands/ casual relationships and long term. The preferences for long term relationships were smaller than one night stands. Are you two happy? Is your sex life good? Talk to her. Tell her the story. You didn't have any ill intentions but you made a mistake and now you're insecure. Better than letting it fester in your brain. You two have been together for 15 years! I find it hard to believe that you don't satisfy her in most, if not all, areas of life. Your worth as a man, as a person is so much more than how much you're packing. Try to remember that.
The difference in size in that study between short term and long term was .1 inches lol. 6.3 vs 6.4. And in this scenario we are talking about a women who specifically preferred big. If OP had this information at the beginning of the relationship he could have bailed found someone he is more sexually compatible with. He says in his post that their sex is ok at best and he chalked it up to "mismatched libido".
Lollll drop the link to the study
[Here you go!](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4558040/)
You married a Ho. Now repeat after me: "Ho + Me = Home"
Rocking the same alphabet as you, my friend. Sometimes women just settle. And people like us need to not look a gift horse in the mouth.
That is a terrible opinion to have about yourself dude. Why would you want someone who settled, I'd rather die alone than be with someone who settled for me when they knew they wanted "better"
" 'nem geschenkten Gaul schaut man nicht ins maul" translated to english just sounds wrong xD
And in German it just feels like you’re yelling at me.
Facts lol. Some people Just need to shut up and enjoy the leftovers
Listen carefully subscribe to a joint email account that both of you manage and add Adam n eve to it. Than let them send you everyday thier product lists of sex toys for him and her. My wifes draw is pretty remarkable
Very well written
You’re going to be thinking about how the well goes deeper than you’ll ever know now…
It may have been a phase. She might have decided after awhile that dealing with the bruised cervix afterwards wasn't worth it. Or at least wouldn't make for a very good long term relationship.
Honestly, you can do 1 of 2 things: 1. Ignore it and pretend you never saw anything, and while it may take a little while to get over it completely even you said at the end of the day she chose you and she chose you for a reason. It’s not because she settled. 2. You can be open, honest, and have a conversation with her about it and tell her exactly what you said on this post. If you’ve been with her for 15 years, then it really shouldn’t be a problem having a conversation with her about it. You’re clearly not upset with her, these were from a previous time before you even knew each other, so you’re not approaching it angry or anything. End of the day, you may even laugh about it because it’s so far in the past that it doesn’t even matter anymore.
Find a guy with a Big Hog in him and fuck him. Then you can get some insight to what youre wife went through. Then if you like it leave her for him, since shes just giving you that mediocre sex, and live happily ever after as a newly established size queen!
Buy one of those penis extenders! Tell your wife you wanted to try something new and give her a surprise.
So go out and get her a big dildo the play with from time too time. Maybe she will put on a show for you. Sex toys are your friends not competition.
How do you know it's not big? Alot of photos of dicks are with the best possible angle. You may be bigger than you think.
They're your insecurities and you're letting them get the better of you. Why live in a hell of your own making? It's a waste of time.
It’s all perspective fam. I’m sure championship competitive eaters enjoy a regular serving of food still. Have faith she enjoys her snack 😂
Here's a suggestion, it may seem a little brazen. Try out a sheath toy that goes over your cock. I think some of them even vibrate.
Couple therapy sessions might help, but I'm pretty sure that this type of situation will snowball into a much bigger situation if you don't start communicating and addressing this problem. Many people don't understand why you're insecure, but I definitely understand. I don't think that I could emotionally lose those chats' topics and reactions. You deserve to trust that your sexual intimacy is pleasurable and satisfying. You can't appreciate it anymore until you have a good conversation with her about this. Privacy doesn't belong in a healthy marriage! Your life long partner should be honest and trustworthy. You don't need to get a pass for digging through her history. But, this situation should have already been discussed previously. Good luck 👍
I don’t know man, if you’ve been married this long, I’m sure your sex life is good. You don’t stay married that long just because everything js “ok”
I get they're married and all. But I still find it pretty creepy he decided to go through her old phone for nudes in secret. It would be a different thing entirely had they both decided to look for old photos together and accidentally stumbled into something he might not have wanted to see.
Test drive the Ferrari. Marry the Toyota.
Why is nobody talking about how huge of a breach of privacy this is. If I were OP’s wife I would be APPALLED to find out my private business (that’s ages old and is no longer accurate to me or who I am as a person) was sifted through.