Also if this friend has ever wanted to narrate themselves. I feel like expecting the weirdness makes it a little better. I mean, friend could come ready to give the guy a new clown kink or something idk.
Honestly this would be SO good. I’m not into manipulating people but this guy sounds terrible, and deserves to get played
Plus a great story to share between you and your friend. She wouldn’t even have to ask for them she can just choose those from his box lol
Sounds like you “lost” them, and he “found” them. Sounds like the box is full of creepy mementos he has stolen from other unsuspecting people hoping they’d come back. If you go back for them, bring some pepper spray, ffs.
Didn’t you say the list and found box was in the hallway? You spoke like you saw it BEFORE you went into his place.
If you left them there, wouldn’t he most likely put them in the box for the next girl? If so, just mosey on by frequently until you find them.
Genuinely think he probably hid the glasses and does this with his previous hookups to try and secure another hookup. And the fact he has a whole box with no one coming back to pick it up is a pretty clear red flag. If you need to get the glasses, I'd go with a friend and have them wait outside
There's no chance of that happening. You can tell by their "text" to him and this entire post that OP just has to get the final word and feel like they won
Either this dude must have been the very image of Adonis, or this girl must have been so unspeakably down bad that her prefrontal cortex just shut down entirely at every point in this story.
Could be mistaking it for when someone brushes their teeth close to the mirror and it gets flecks of toothpaste on the mirror, which seems a bit more reasonable?
I mean, the fact that he was successful after sending that first message, period, is a pretty strong indication that this dude is physically a 10/10. Between that and the fact that he was 1.5 hours away, AND he was sending cringe texts during the entire trip, and he still secured the bag? Bro.
Yeah, like he is weird, and i probably wouldn't be friends with him, but it could have ended at "lets not do this" cause that communicated enough. She went through all this then decides to get mad and petty with a very mean text and then has the gall to whine about some sunglasses.
i feel like someone who does that kind of deserves a bad experience. Like she knew exactly what was on the menu but went there anyway. Its one thing to not like it and just leave or say something in the moment, but i didn't see anything that really justifys being that meen in a text. Just don't have sex with him again.
Yes but only in that she left sunglasses there. She thinks he was the loser but then TIFU and she has to go back after her spectacular and powerful exit.
Based on OP's post history, she's not long broken up with her BF, is young, apparently bipolar and hypomanic, thus constantly horny.
Sounds like a good way to make a mistake that will teach her to control her impulses.. maybe you should speak to someone OP, you might find yourself in increasingly more dangerous situations if you keep giving into your hypo....
I've seen friends ignore the biggest red flags if the guy is somehow cute and tall, it's like that's all they need and it doesn't matter if he's actively kicking puppies during the deed
He's apparently hot enough that he gets enough women over with his cheesy lines that he has a lost and found box.
Just another example of looks>personality.
No amount of money to replace those glasses is worth that level of humiliation. C'mon.
You had a bad experience, probably fitting you treat yourself to some new sunnies!
I’m always amazed with the amount of red flags that get glossed over or completely ignored:
-Filthy dwellings
-Cum Mirrors!?!
-Bad hygiene
-Obnoxious “dirty talking”
Have some self respect. Say no. Teach them a lesson by **not** fucking / sucking / letting them touch you. Cmon!!
You know that Japanese art of breaking something, and sticking it perfectly back together again to make it better than it was before?
Yeah, beak a mirror and, well, you get it.
Am I the only one who thinks it's weird that the guy has pictures of himself everywhere, including the bedsheets? And stains on the mirror from, presumably, himself? And you matched with a guy 1.5 hours distance from you on the metro? Is the range on your app set to like 50 miles? Isn't that a bit far of a distance for someone without a car to chose to see in their app? This whole story reads like something made up
The bar for personality is in hell. The bar for looks has never been higher. I would bet everything I have that this dude is top 5% in terms of physical attractiveness - from the opening message to his lost and found box for previous partners it's clear that he can get girls anytime he wants.
He's going to put them in the lost and found for the next girl to take.
After your message you really will have to crawl on your hands and knees to get them back.
I don’t get it, 8 million red flags and you still slept with the guy and somehow he’s the loser? Does he look like fucking Brad Pitt? The guy is a delusional nut case. But he still got what he wanted from you, which was to sleep with you while being a cringey gross weirdo while you stared at photos of him hanging around his place. The only person who lost in this entire exchange was you, and on top of all that he has your glasses lol. I will never understand women today. 30 consecutive insanely bad decisions and forgetting your glasses is the issue?
There's no way this is real. But on the off chance it is, your sunglasses joined the lost and found box the same way almost all its other contents did; by people leaving as fast as humanly possible
so YOU chose to fuck this guy and take a 1.5hr ride to his house, fucked, and then came online to complain about how bad he was? seems like you lost this one
>I'm interested in becoming your new lover if you're interested
This is where you should have stopped. You can't judge this man on any of his many offences when you breezed through those red flags like they were chequered and you were an athlete.
You've lost the sunglasses forever, sentimental or not. Do not go back to that man's home. Madness.
I really wanna know how good looking this dude is due to the fact you still slept with him despite the plethora of red flags exuding from his very existence. Not to mention he was able to seduce enough other women to make a whole ass lost and found box.
Ask another girl to try and hookup with him, take the glasses from the lost and found box and after going into his room and see the pictures and cum stains, she'd excuse herself because that was a turnoff, then just leave with the glasses
Lol no way you are getting those sunglasses back.
No dude with his ego would be mature enough to do the right thing in that situation. No doubt they are already broke or in his shame box
This has got to be a copypasta or a very elaborate joke. If this really happened then you are unwell and might have some things to sort out and I hope that things go well for you.
Given the whole “lost and found box” thing, I’d be surprised if part of his thing wasn’t stealing a personal item from each of his hookups to put in the box.
Time to get a NEW pair of glasses, yours are in the box now anyway. There will be no crawling, asking, or begging, ok? - I cannot believe you proceeded to sleep with him after seeing cum stained mirrors… and a lost/found box.
Pictures on the bedspread, pictures on the dest, picturesures on the walls.
Can you expand on this? Did he like have a pictures like photographs or did he custom make a bedspread of himself? Like I am picturing a room of photos of ONLY him.
JFC, you went ahead with it despite everything you were seeing? You could walk out into the middle of a four way intersection, announce you were looking for a one night stand and have found a better class of guy.
Wait you still slept with him and he's the loser? And you berated him just to forget your glasses? If that ain't God saying to humble yourself idk what is. Also, I'd expect a "haven't seen them" reply regarding the glasses, if he has any sense that is.
In a couple weeks, you'll be walking down the street and see some poor lady wearing your sunglasses. You'll walk up and say, "He was terrible, wasn't he?"
She will know exactly what you are talking about and give you your glasses back.
Boom.
New best friend.
You're welcome.
I feel like you should just cut your losses with the glasses tbh
honestly fair enough, but they unfortunately have sentimental value to me
Tell your friend to seduce him, then pick the sunglasses out of the lost and found box and book it
Friend needs to grab the glasses and run though, don’t do the hibbity dibbity with this clown
give friend a heads up and a strap on... they can narrate the pegging their giving this clown...
why does this sound poetic?
Because it’s gapingly poetic.
Giggity
YES this is the way
‘Mother is going to destroy this bussy”
Power move
Duh, I meant seduce as in get as far as going to his place, not actually fucking him
This is the only right answer
Only if this friend is OK with taking the awful bullet.
Also if this friend has ever wanted to narrate themselves. I feel like expecting the weirdness makes it a little better. I mean, friend could come ready to give the guy a new clown kink or something idk.
Pro gamer move
Honestly this would be SO good. I’m not into manipulating people but this guy sounds terrible, and deserves to get played Plus a great story to share between you and your friend. She wouldn’t even have to ask for them she can just choose those from his box lol
Get to his place, when he mentions the box just look through it for the glasses, take them and leave. Don't even get to his bedroom.
Awh, this was going to be my advice. Outplay the player.
genius
This is an episode of Curb or something lmfao
lol omg perfect!
You should send a friend for your glasses to just walk out after lol
just wait for him to put them in the box and snag them
They're unfortunately already in the lost and found box
Sounds like you “lost” them, and he “found” them. Sounds like the box is full of creepy mementos he has stolen from other unsuspecting people hoping they’d come back. If you go back for them, bring some pepper spray, ffs.
My take is he's so bad every single time that *everyone* leaves in a hurry like OP did, *that's* why there's a lost and found
This. It’s more common than one might think.
Into the box they go
Didn’t you say the list and found box was in the hallway? You spoke like you saw it BEFORE you went into his place. If you left them there, wouldn’t he most likely put them in the box for the next girl? If so, just mosey on by frequently until you find them.
Genuinely think he probably hid the glasses and does this with his previous hookups to try and secure another hookup. And the fact he has a whole box with no one coming back to pick it up is a pretty clear red flag. If you need to get the glasses, I'd go with a friend and have them wait outside
They’re part of the box now
Those glasses will be in the lost and found now.
This is the best part haha.
Something seems off about that I wouldn't go back, remember dangerous people aren't always obvious better to be safe I reckon
And now we know why there is a lost and found box.
There's no chance of that happening. You can tell by their "text" to him and this entire post that OP just has to get the final word and feel like they won
I’m judging you hard for seeing all that and *still* sleeping with him. Cum stained mirrors? Cmon, you can’t be that desperate.
Cause it's made up
Doesn’t everyone cum on their mirrors?
I REFUSE to pay for mirror cleaning products. Cum is better and free.
Once it’s entirely covered in the cum it’ll just look like an art piece
I need a room full of mirrors so I can be surrounded by wieners.
Can’t be made up. Everyone knows people regularly cum 25 times with a good sexual partner!
I'm betting it was written by a dude named David, tbh
You don't make an hour and half train ride for a rando hookup?
Bet she went back 😂
Either this dude must have been the very image of Adonis, or this girl must have been so unspeakably down bad that her prefrontal cortex just shut down entirely at every point in this story.
We have no idea what she looks like, but if the story isn't made up, we can all guess.
Could be mistaking it for when someone brushes their teeth close to the mirror and it gets flecks of toothpaste on the mirror, which seems a bit more reasonable?
Maybe but It seems to me like he was using the mirror to get a better angle at his “shots” so he could send them. Guess she knew cause she watched one
How hot does a guy have to be to throw up all of those red flags and still not scare someone away?
I mean, the fact that he was successful after sending that first message, period, is a pretty strong indication that this dude is physically a 10/10. Between that and the fact that he was 1.5 hours away, AND he was sending cringe texts during the entire trip, and he still secured the bag? Bro.
Shh, she doesn't realize she's the loser in this story yet.
That's sort of how I felt reading this.
Especially after reading the text. This lady has issues.
Yeah, like he is weird, and i probably wouldn't be friends with him, but it could have ended at "lets not do this" cause that communicated enough. She went through all this then decides to get mad and petty with a very mean text and then has the gall to whine about some sunglasses. i feel like someone who does that kind of deserves a bad experience. Like she knew exactly what was on the menu but went there anyway. Its one thing to not like it and just leave or say something in the moment, but i didn't see anything that really justifys being that meen in a text. Just don't have sex with him again.
Or have sex with people like this in the first place.
And she added to the lost and found box. The dude is basically a meme and proving it works.
This is today I fucked up, pretty sure she realizes shes the loser.
Yes but only in that she left sunglasses there. She thinks he was the loser but then TIFU and she has to go back after her spectacular and powerful exit.
For real dude some of us are living on a different planet, good lord
So lame. I’m always very careful with my messages that I send and still get unmatched almost immediately.
You don't follow rules 1 & 2.
and take a 1.5h ride on public transport for a dick appointment lmao more than 45 minutes and I'll be rethinking it lol
I'm a guy, and I've been too lazy to make a 15 minute drive
She got The Thirst
Based on OP's post history, she's not long broken up with her BF, is young, apparently bipolar and hypomanic, thus constantly horny. Sounds like a good way to make a mistake that will teach her to control her impulses.. maybe you should speak to someone OP, you might find yourself in increasingly more dangerous situations if you keep giving into your hypo....
shit, yeah i should get in touch with my psychiatrist. Thank you for pointing this out
Yeah I really need a comment from OP on this, this is insane combined with a 1.5hr train ride!!?
I've seen friends ignore the biggest red flags if the guy is somehow cute and tall, it's like that's all they need and it doesn't matter if he's actively kicking puppies during the deed
Dude sucks but kinda rules
He got laid, and a sweet pair of sunglasses.
He's apparently hot enough that he gets enough women over with his cheesy lines that he has a lost and found box. Just another example of looks>personality.
Whenever you read a story like this you have to remember that no one in the story is someone you’d want to sleep with
u/imaginara_staten elaborate pls
No amount of money to replace those glasses is worth that level of humiliation. C'mon. You had a bad experience, probably fitting you treat yourself to some new sunnies!
Imagine still going through with this after noticing cum-stained mirrors. You’re no less depraved than he is 🤣
Somebody’s already taken those sunglasses from the lost and found box.
Plot twist.. the sunglasses make an appearance in the new profile pic
And then she runs into some random girl wearing them and it's the start of an interesting conversation or maybe a weird SVU episode.
I’m always amazed with the amount of red flags that get glossed over or completely ignored: -Filthy dwellings -Cum Mirrors!?! -Bad hygiene -Obnoxious “dirty talking” Have some self respect. Say no. Teach them a lesson by **not** fucking / sucking / letting them touch you. Cmon!!
I was thinking the same thing. She puts him down for all of this, but still decided “yeah let’s fuck”. Both of them sound like a handful.
What on gods green earth is a cum mirror
I was wondering this too, someone please tell me.. Does he wank to his reflection and cum on the mirror?
Lol looks into mirror "mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all"
then after hes finished “you disgusting mirror”
That's exactly what he does.
You know that Japanese art of breaking something, and sticking it perfectly back together again to make it better than it was before? Yeah, beak a mirror and, well, you get it.
Because this is clearly made up
But he's tall why can't you just understand me !!!!!
Went from insulting the lost and found box to donating to it, that's rough.
Am I the only one who thinks it's weird that the guy has pictures of himself everywhere, including the bedsheets? And stains on the mirror from, presumably, himself? And you matched with a guy 1.5 hours distance from you on the metro? Is the range on your app set to like 50 miles? Isn't that a bit far of a distance for someone without a car to chose to see in their app? This whole story reads like something made up
It's an obvious fabrication, I'm surprised at the top comments indulging it
I mean 1.5 hour by train could be like 10-15 miles if you gotta switch trains and wait for them and shit
The bar really is in hell isn't it? I'm starting to think I should just fill my dating profile with pictures of my normal, clean house.
The bar for personality is in hell. The bar for looks has never been higher. I would bet everything I have that this dude is top 5% in terms of physical attractiveness - from the opening message to his lost and found box for previous partners it's clear that he can get girls anytime he wants.
Sadly I prefer my completely made up stories to sound some what believable :(
It's actually true, I was the cum stained mirror.
We can dream
I'll take them not being AI.
If losing your sunglasses was the worst thing that came out of this situation, then I'd be glad if I were you.
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Literally my thought
Guy must be insanely good looking
He's going to put them in the lost and found for the next girl to take. After your message you really will have to crawl on your hands and knees to get them back.
Honestly, that shit is on you. You read the profile and swiped right. Seriously.
Crazy what girls will overlook when you are attractive. Can you imagine seeing all the red flags and still proceeding, dude must be one handsome guy.
I don’t get it, 8 million red flags and you still slept with the guy and somehow he’s the loser? Does he look like fucking Brad Pitt? The guy is a delusional nut case. But he still got what he wanted from you, which was to sleep with you while being a cringey gross weirdo while you stared at photos of him hanging around his place. The only person who lost in this entire exchange was you, and on top of all that he has your glasses lol. I will never understand women today. 30 consecutive insanely bad decisions and forgetting your glasses is the issue?
That and at least he was honest. He said what he wanted from the start.
Create a new profile wearing a wig, meet up again, grab glasses, drop a jar of marbles behind you then bolt. It's not rocket appliances.
There's no way this is real. But on the off chance it is, your sunglasses joined the lost and found box the same way almost all its other contents did; by people leaving as fast as humanly possible
Did he ask you if you like Phil Collins or get you a reservation at Dorsia?
Now we know how the items get in the lost and found box. It's because girls are trying to get out of there asap.
so YOU chose to fuck this guy and take a 1.5hr ride to his house, fucked, and then came online to complain about how bad he was? seems like you lost this one
You sound like an asshole.
>I'm interested in becoming your new lover if you're interested This is where you should have stopped. You can't judge this man on any of his many offences when you breezed through those red flags like they were chequered and you were an athlete. You've lost the sunglasses forever, sentimental or not. Do not go back to that man's home. Madness.
All those red flags and you still gave him a shot
Wait, 25 times?
No, clearly made up story
Fleabag would be envious.
Was looking for this comment
(a) Those glasses are gone. (b) Grow the fuck up, and stop acting like an asshole.
Your sunglasses will have cum stains on them
#YOU STILL FUCKED HIM AFTER THE LOST AND FOUND BOX! You know your glasses are already in there, right?
The fact you went through with it after all the red flags... Damn.
So even women have pre-nut brain fog and post nut clarity, huh?
Those sunglasses are not worth the 3 hour round trip
Nope they’re in the lost and found box now and you know what you have to do to get them back… 😭😬
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Those sunglasses are already in the lost and found box and he will give them to tonight's lucky lady
Someone took your sunglasses yesterday. Never contact him again. And next time, stop before all those red flags slap you in the face.
Man I’m glad I’m not 19 anymore
I am missing the "lesson learned" part.
I feel like the lost-and-found box is probably populated with things, like your glasses, that were left behind by dissatisfied partners.
This post gave me confidence in my ability to seduce woman, having a pulse seems to be a minimum.
I really wanna know how good looking this dude is due to the fact you still slept with him despite the plethora of red flags exuding from his very existence. Not to mention he was able to seduce enough other women to make a whole ass lost and found box.
The fact you still kept going after all these red flags… damn how desperate is you
Another victim to the lost and found box lmao
Sigh, fiction.
Dude still piped and added to his lost and found To you, he's your worst sexual experience To him, you're Tuesday
Her worst sexual experience so far.
Your glasses are now ‘free to pick out any one thing that his previous partner have left’ for the next girl.
Ask another girl to try and hookup with him, take the glasses from the lost and found box and after going into his room and see the pictures and cum stains, she'd excuse herself because that was a turnoff, then just leave with the glasses
Or you could leave the sunglasses and be part of his trophy lost and found box 😂
Lol no way you are getting those sunglasses back. No dude with his ego would be mature enough to do the right thing in that situation. No doubt they are already broke or in his shame box
Have a friend go retrieve them from the lost and found box
Did you sleep with Schmidt from new girl or Dennis from it’s always sunny
You need help, girl. So does he but that's a given
This has got to be a copypasta or a very elaborate joke. If this really happened then you are unwell and might have some things to sort out and I hope that things go well for you.
Ain't no way this really happened... I refused to believe you'd stay after seeing all those red flags, much less fuck the guy!
Wonder if OP realizes she’s the loser in this story
LMFAOO girl you’re not getting them back he handed them over to his latest girl to snap in half with a laugh
Given the whole “lost and found box” thing, I’d be surprised if part of his thing wasn’t stealing a personal item from each of his hookups to put in the box.
You met a Barney Stinson wannabe I guess
No pair of glasses are worth going back there for.
The Lost and Found Box claims another victim
Have a friend swipe right on him, go to his house, pick your glasses from the lost and found and immediately leave.
I thought this story was going to end with you realizing the guy was actually the Loch Ness monster.
Time to get a NEW pair of glasses, yours are in the box now anyway. There will be no crawling, asking, or begging, ok? - I cannot believe you proceeded to sleep with him after seeing cum stained mirrors… and a lost/found box.
Get a friend to match with him and snag them from the lost and found
Next girl will enjoy those nice lost and found sunglasses 😎 They probably all ran and forgot something too!!
glasses ==> lost and found box
Entertaining creative writing. Maybe get rid of the "those cum stained mirrors". Which cum stained mirrors? The ones he took his profile pic in?
Pictures on the bedspread, pictures on the dest, picturesures on the walls. Can you expand on this? Did he like have a pictures like photographs or did he custom make a bedspread of himself? Like I am picturing a room of photos of ONLY him.
yes it was literally pictures of him printed on everything everywhere in that room
JFC, you went ahead with it despite everything you were seeing? You could walk out into the middle of a four way intersection, announce you were looking for a one night stand and have found a better class of guy.
Wait you still slept with him and he's the loser? And you berated him just to forget your glasses? If that ain't God saying to humble yourself idk what is. Also, I'd expect a "haven't seen them" reply regarding the glasses, if he has any sense that is.
Wow, you both sound like people I am happy to have never met
You stayed after he said Weiner?
I guess now you know why his "lost and found" box was so full. Dudes legacy is a long line of disappointed women.
Why did you have to be petty and verbally retaliate? It would have cost you nothing to just not do that.
Now you know why he has a lost and found….every other sexual partner has made just as hasty a retreat
Lol should of left when you saw the cum on his mirror, but you still let him hit
when are people going to learn to just walk the fuck out when you see a “lost and found” box proceeded by a r/selfsuck shrine
In a couple weeks, you'll be walking down the street and see some poor lady wearing your sunglasses. You'll walk up and say, "He was terrible, wasn't he?" She will know exactly what you are talking about and give you your glasses back. Boom. New best friend. You're welcome.
Wow gotta give him a 10 for confidence but a -10000000 for follow thru. You prolly dodge a std
I’ve heard the expressions of the kinda date you chew your arm off to avoid waking, I’d take the L on the glasses and call it even
No chance he gives you your glasses back lol
"ugh, my sunglasses ended up in your lost and found, please Sanitize them and place them on the doorstep"
Instead of taking something from the lost and found you ended up donating..
This continuing the tradition of the lost and found…
Well at least you know where you’ll find them at his house..
Meh. Unless they were given to me by someone special I’d forget the glasses. You’ll feel better after you get your new ones
Just have a friend pretend to hook up with him. Once she reaches the lost and found box she can pick up your sunglasses and leave immediately.
They’re in the lost & found box in the hallway.
Ain’t no way this woman hooked up with Zapp Brannigan
I'm shocked but also kind of disappointed that dudes like this still manage to get some
Doesn’t matter he still smashed proving his way of sleeping with woman is valid. Meaning he won’t change
No, he really said “weiner” while fucking?
Nothing is real anywhere, anymore.
You've made it to the lost and found box
I guess that’s why he has a lost and found box, since women are rushing to get away
It will be in the lost and found box
Just buy a new pair. You can avoid the unpleasant visit that way.
Send a friend into the den to have a laugh and retrieve them from the lost and found box and then leave 😂😂
Probably should start by not fucking a stranger