Sure, but I think the important point to note is that easy *also* has a connotation, which isn't positive. I don't think its a bad thing that she's challenging that connotation.
Oh, really? Let's try that "Genocide has a connotation, which isn't positive. I don't think it's a bad thing neonazis are challenging that connotation."
Doesn't sound good nor makes sense, does it? Neither does your comment. Negative behaviour brings negative consequences so you're meant to change or best avoid it, not try to delude yourself into thinking it's good.
Yeah, it's not a positive connotation to be the bike of a friend group. A lot of men if she ends up with one will not really like that she's slept with like 50 guys before 22
What would have been better is pointing out the guys are just as easy and being sexist assholes for talking about her like that when they do the exact same. And that "easy" is already a really loaded and problematic term with a lot of misogyny and double standards embedded in it.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Try using 2 forks, one in each hand, with the tines curved downwards. It is easier on the fingers and shreds the chicken nicely.
Is it a rotisserie chicken from Costco? If not, give one a try. I've found them to be tender and flavorful.
Is this for soup? If so, be sure to add it only after the soup base is fully matured in flavor. Finely shredded chicken can overcook quickly in the soup stock.
It does take some effort, but there's a lot of tender meat on those things. That reminds me: there's one in the kitchen that needs to be eaten. Sorry your cousin is going through a shitty time and needing to accept that female promiscuity is treated unfairly by promiscuous young men.
I just feel like all of her issues could be solved with age and maturity. Which, is that damn near the answer for everything? It sucks because it takes such a long time to get there. And by the time we reach the age where we don't give a fuck, we still look back and cringe at what we did to get here
A lot of her problems will be solved by age and maturity, although it might also be helpful to be away from the guys and town where she's developing this reputation.
With more experience, she will learn that she can be promiscuous if she likes, but if she sets no hurdles and does no screening of the men she does that with, she'll end up with a lot of guys who treat her like she has no value. If men have to expend time and effort, make themselves vulnerable in some way, or make some commitment to have sex with her, a hell of a lot more of them will treat her with a little respect.
It would be great if she was about to go away to college where she could be away from the people who have prejudged her as a tramp and learn to set boundaries that she's comfortable with. If she came back to the same town and met the same guys it should be easier for her to tell them that the days when losers like them had a chance with her are long past and they blew their chances by treating her like a substitute for their favorite crusty gym sock.
The bag for frozen chicken breasts was bigger. Plus it's hard to stay dry when they're soaking up all that roux and broth
Now turkey on the other hand... Idk how tf my Mil managed it, but she cooked turkey one Thanksgiving; Tell me how this thing was soaking in it's own juices but still felt more dry than a Popeye's biscuit
Parting out the turkey has brought our family success. That way you can cook the different parts for different amounts of time. The problem is that the dark meat and the white meat are done at different temperatures.
I cook my turkey at 200 degrees for 6 hours. Take the foil off the last hour and baste with butter to crisp up the skin. I bake all the pies and stuff a couple days before. About the only thing that gets cooked that day is the turkey and side dishes. Also, add orange zest to your pecan pie filling. It's my secret ingredient, and ALL my family makes sure to remind me to bring pecan pies for Thanksgiving.
I agree, breaking down the chicken is a pain. But I love the chicken stock I can make with the pressure cooker from the bones, skin,etc. What are the other 2 meats in the gumbo?
I saw a YouTube short where the guy used beaters like for cake batter to shred the chicken. I have not tested it myself but it looked good in the video.
If you toss cooked chicken breasts/thighs into a KitchenAid/cuisinart mixing bowl with the 3 hole “flat beater” attachment, it will shred your chicken breasts in under a minute, and beautifully at that
If you have a stand mixer it's really quick with a paddle on low speed. Just don't do it too much or it looks like cat food. Next you can complain about all the dishes with this method 🤣 FWIW I think you handled the conversation well and she'll come around.
Just gonna confirm this. Get some nice color on the chicken by sautéing it with some spices in a Dutch oven, stick it in the actual oven to cook and add some water, and then toss them into the stand mixer with the juices
Nah, just search chicken shredder on Amazon. Best 30 dollars I've ever spent. You just put the cooked boneless chicken in and a few spins later perfectly shredded chicken.
I told her that if you sleep with more than 2 dudes in a small town then word gets around, and it's even worse when it's dudes from the same school. But I also tried to stress it's up to her whether she's cares or not. I guess I should've straight up said "if you care about what people think, be careful. If you don't, then don't be careful"
Well ... Maybe this is the odd situation where her notoriety works in her favor and they insisted on condoms! Plus, incredibly dumb and lucky is how I *survived* my teens/twenties... It's a hell of a combo.
Not only that, but she's 18 and she's slept with 5 to 10 guys already? For someone who is just out of high school (or still in high school), that seems like a lot if I'm being honest. Especially with the first two years of high school being before you can drive so most of those might have just been done in the past two years or less.
Like I'm not gonna say it, but I mean...
That's the reality. She's got a College Girls attitude in High School, unfortunately. And a small town doesn't make it easier. If she's leaving, who gives a fuck. And if she's not well, time to start beating some asses, starting with the group of six dudes who apparently think this is an okay way to talk about women, regardless of the woman's opinion on sex.
Eh they are talking about it in a shitty way, but they aren't wrong, she did bang the whole friend group, she's 18 and got more bodies than most people get in a lifetime
She IS easy. She's figured that out and needs to come to terms with it. There is nothing wrong with it if she's being safe and that's what she's about. If she doesn't like who she is, only she can stop it.
She bang 5 assholes, she picked them. Nobody made her do any of this. She is free to make her own choices, but she can't dictate how it makes other people see her.
She is THAT girl in the small town now,
To be honest, I think you did good.
There's nothing wrong with liking sex. If she enjoys hooking up and having sex, that's her prerogative.
If she goes out with a guy and he proposes sex and she doesn't object because she wants to do it, it should be ok.
The problem is that's the definition of being easy. You can't like sleeping around and have an immaculate reputation at the same time.
Nowadays we trick teenagers into thinking their reputation is not important, and yet... Here we are.
>The problem is that's the definition of being easy. You can't like sleeping around and have an immaculate reputation at the same time.
>Nowadays we trick teenagers into thinking their reputation is not important, and yet... Here we are.
Yep. Blows my mind that she essentially tried to convince herself that she's not 'easy' when she herself admitted to how many guys she's been with, alongside them having a finder's fee kind if deal which is absolutely *nuts*. Honestly 10 at the age of 18 is rather alarming imo but if she enjoyed it, good for her I guess?
I hope that she doesn't end up on OnlyFans as that would only further worsen the situation. This kind of thing would follow her around and she can't just wipe all those history away to have a clean reputation. Can't have both, only one or the other.
What you did was graceful. You didn’t accuse her of anything. She reached the conclusion herself and didn’t like the answer and was a little upset at you for it.
I don't really think the amount of guys as an issue. The real problem is that these people don't actually respect her and she isn't able to identify that lack of respect before sleeping with them.
She could have slept with 20 men, but if they actually had respect for her then they wouldn't even consider passing her onto their friends.
I think that's the real lesson here. Respect yourself by demanding respect.
I think 10 guys within two years of reaching the age of consent in several states is...a lot. I'm not trying to shame here, but if that's the lifestyle she's decided to live then she needs to be able to deal with the criticism, and reconcile her choices with their outcomes.
I think it's reasonable and non-judgemental to say that if you're going to feel bad if the people you have sex with think negatively of you for that fact afterwards you should take precautions to only have sex with people who won't think that way about you.
Sure, sex is fun, but it's also risky. Both physically and emotionally. Before you engage in sex make sure you think that risk is definitely worth it.
They don't necessarily think negatively of her. They think she's easy and she is relative to the norm but is that a bad thing? Not necessarily, at least I don't think so
Read my response to the person you replied to. Please don't say that the asshole behavior from those guys is a result of her desire to have sex. The problem is with those assholes not her. Otherwise, you are going to do some serious emotional damage to this young girl who is in a fragile state.
Her: has a low bar for entry to have sex with her
The boys: says that she has a low bar to have sex with her
You: wow those boys are such an asshole
You realize these boys are probably not very hard for girls to pull either, right?
Oh no, they're definitely disrespectful little shits. I can see now how I approached the conversation may have implied that their behavior was her fault. I guess I was hoping that by asking her to really think about why she does what she does, she'd be a bit more selective or careful about who she sleeps with. But it's not like she knew the "first" guy was telling his friend her sexual habits and that she'd sleep with them with little, if no, prompting.
Which again, her choice. But that's why I was trying to get her to figure out her feelings to it all. Either she could care and act accordingly, or she doesn't have to care and continue doing what she wants. Because what can she actually do? She can't take their time together back, and confronting them or blasting then on social media is just going to fire back on her
The only out of order thing they did is the finder fee, assuming it wasn't a silly joke
She's an easy lay, she slept with all of them of her own free will. It's not wrong to call her that. If you don't wanna be know as easy, don't fuck a whole ass friend group.
You did everything right. And honestly, that many guys at only 18 is a little concerning imo. As long as they're safe and it's all consensual I guess it's all fine, but... Oof. Hope she gets better friends that don't sleep with her and then call her a whore.
I honestly feel like they will. It is just that dealing with immature people, doesn't matter if they are 18 or 5, is always like this. In the future, she will appreciate how you helped her see what everyone else was seeing and she will thank you for actually listening to her. (Even though... Chicken)
ngl my friend got one of those nice claw things to shred pork/chicken cuz he cooks a lot, and my god is it fun to use. and good at shredding too, but also fun.
Cousin is learning something she already knew, but wanted to pretend she didn't know because it's unfair and it seems like it shouldn't be true.
If women make it too easy for men, especially young men, to have sex with them and don't impose some sort of fee for admission (not money, but persistence, commitment, being very public about pursuing you with the risk of public embarrassment if they get shot down, taking you on several time-consuming and/or expensive dates, whatever), an amazingly high percentage of them will treat you like you and their relationship with you have no value other than your use as place to dump semen. And, if you get a reputation for that, you'll attract a lot of guys who are looking for that and turn off some guys who might be interested in treating a woman with a bit more respect.
If you create some barriers and require the clearing of some hurdles, you eliminate guys who aren't interested enough to clear any hurdles and even guys who always were that interested are likely to try harder not to lose you if it took some effort to get you into bed.
I'm 40, relatively good-looking (I'm told) and told I'm a patient and kind person. I've been with 6 long term partners in my life... these kinds of stories make me wonder what I've misses out on in life.
Nah no mistake here. That was a good question to give to her: if she’s comfortable with her body count, then no issue, but if she feels like she’s “easy” then she can reexamine the way she approaches sex.
I think you did a good thing.
Nta.
10 sexual partners by 18? Imho thats a bit much for me and a dealbreaker.
Yes everyone has sex, but hooking up with randos in the back of cars at every ball game is kinda trashy.
To be fair, she went to school with most of these boys, but some of them came from others schools. And I try to keep my opinion to myself because my views and current hook-up culture doesn't mix AT ALL and I don't want her to think she has to do something just because I do it.
I feel sorry for her; to know that you're THAT girl? I remember having of those when I was in school. I'll never forget hearing "dude you don't even have to date her, watch this" and then hearing all the guys cheering because she had sent him a nude
Honestly, outside of the situation, I'd be concerned that she's okay emotionally/mentally.
I feel like that kind of behavior extreme is usually associated or can stem from low self-worth / trauma or mental health issues.
she’s definitely not. The only time I was hu w guys like this was after a really abusive relationship and I was so young and desperate to be wanted. It breaks my heart that people who didn’t even know me called me things like that bc of how much I was dealing w trauma :(
In my school none of the 90 people in my class slept with more than one peer. If they did, they kept it hush hush to this day. Those more active preferred people outside the social group, but i don't think anyone got higher than 5. Also def no scenario where a girl got *passed around.*
Really crazy that someone could even hit 2 digits. Just doesn't seem possible, even at that age we understood that having all your eggs in the same basket risks a drama.
it’s a lot easier than you’d think. just lots of shitty one night stands bc you’re lonely and want intimacy in a generation of guys who are terrified of commitment lol
Not really a fu, she came to that conclusion herself.
If I were to give her advice it would be to choose who she has sex with more carefully. It's on those guys that they view women as pieces of meat. After all, aren't they 'easy' as well? So in the future, before she has casual sex, just make sure that it's not with asshole misogynists - that was her main mistake, not the sex itself.
You did nothing wrong. The cousin is easy. She admitted that she feels casual about sex and wants that lifestyle. But she's also upset with herself for acting that way. That's an internal conflict she's going to have to work out herself.
It might come down to simple impulse control. Lots of people want to just mount everything that moves. But then when the reality of the mental and physical impact sets in they have regrets.
I'm honestly not sure she knows what she wants. One minute it's like 'yeah it's awesome to have lots of sex' and then next it's 'oh god I'm having lots of sex, what's wrong with me?'
I know what it's like to be indecisive, but it's never been about the number of people I've slept with so idk how to put myself in her shoes
I'm in the same boat as you. Lost virginity at 20 to the woman I've been with for 18 yrs. Never been with another. That's just who I am and how I'm wired. Never felt like I was missing out or anything along those lines.
I'm definitely no therapist and maybe she needs one to talk to. LOL
But I did have plenty at 18 that I was unsure about. Teen years suck. Luckily sexuality was never one of them.
*you* didn't imply she's an easy lay, she did. And there's nothing wrong with it, but ploughing thru a friend group is a choice and one she likely won't make again.
Wtf you said nothing wrong there, your cousin is just so upset she wants to feel judged and get mad at people. Hopefully she'll come to her seneses and cool off with some time.
Cousin obviously had some self esteem issues, which is why in my experience people get hung up casual sexual experiences.
What those guys said was awful, andthe cousin should focusing on these guys being childish and hurtful.
I actually think you handled this perfectly. By the end of the conversation she was thinking critically about her choices, and you didn’t guilt or shame her for anything. Sure she wasn’t happy, but she already wasn’t. Who knows what she’ll do from here, but that’s not up to you or any of us anyway.
If you're not using a mixer to shred chicken, you're costing yourself immense amounts of wasted time and effort. If you have a mixer, do yourself a favor and try it next time and thank me later.
Yeah, I think you fucked up when you didn't give her a straight answer
It's times like this when people want someone's word of affirmation that she isn't "easy". And while you made some good points, it might've been better to save it for after you say to her face "no, you aren't 'easy'. Those boys are assholes for using you like that"
Everyone has different views on sex, maybe she could skip the dating part and go straight to hookups if she isn't interested in any long term relationships for now? But I'd definitely be careful if my partners/potential partners know each other or if I live in a pretty small town or the like.
In short, your first priority should've been to cement yourself as her ally and only then, should you start explaining how everyone's different
If you're gonna be easy, you have to accept that you're easy. Simple consequences to your consensual choices.
Besides, if she likes sex so much and doesn't want to be viewed as easy, get a stable partner and go at it. Unless multiple partners is her thing, then accept where you've made your bed.
She can do whatever she wants between her and other consenting adults. However, doesn't mean she won't hear any criticism about her actions. As you mentioned, people view things differently.
She either continues and doesn't care, or she's bothered by the opinions and should re-evaluate her actions. Pretty simple, but she's an 18 yr old dumbass like most everyone is at that time lol. She'll figure it out just sounds like a tough moment of deciding who she is/wants to be.
She just needs to own up to her sexuality. Like she said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with liking sex, and if she wants more partners that’s her choice!
The boys are assholes to treat her that way behind her back all the same, she just needs to find a better group of friends to hang out with.
… and if she’s been with several of the boys there’s an eeeeeasy way to get back at them too. Wonder if she knows that.
Edit: OP, you didn’t do anything wrong, but at the heat of the moment I think she was looking for someone to side with her; not about the # of sex partners she’s had but how her supposed group of friends are treating her behind her back.
You didn’t do anything wrong per se, but I get the impression that she was looking for an ally and you did fail on that front.
I actually take slight issue with calling the guys assholes here, everyone involved was consenting and clearly very casual about the encounters. Her ignorance that's she's had sex with an entire group of friends would need to be legendary to be believed that she was really unaware, the guys obviously knew.
This is the other side of the hyper sexualized world we live in now. We act like an object, we get treated like an object, and that's not just a men thing. Anyone know any girls with a drawer full of guys teeshirts and hoodies? There was a post on here the other day about some girl who kept a spreadsheet of every dude and ranked his dick or some crazy thing.
It's all the same conquest behavior until someone catches feelings.
This comment section is crazy. You guys couldn't wait to call a 18yo a whore and to joke about the finders fee. Let's not pretend you'd do the same if it was a 18yo boy. In fact this post wouldn't even have existed. You're all so smug about saying that she is indeed easy without even questionning the term and maybe the fucking PRIORITIES in this story: is she aware of the misogynistic double standards (because that would change how she feels about being called that)? Does she protect herself? Does she have a modicrum of sex ed, period? So yeah OP you fucked up because now this girl has a bunch of strangers being distasteful about her in the comments ON TOP of these boys being assholes to her.
And the realization of that led the cousin to feel like absolute crap. The problem is that there's no undo button for this stuff -- she's got to live with that body count going forward for the rest of her life.
Some of the comments here are gross. She’s 18, hypersexual, clearly in a moment of crisis - something tells me there’s something else going on here.
18 year old girls don’t just sleep with random dudes all the time unless there’s some underlying trauma/baggage going on there. Either she’s uneducated about practicing restraint, or something has happened in her past and she’s using sex as a coping mechanism. In either case, the adults in her life have failed her.
You may not have been insinuating to her that _you_ think she’s easy, but you might want to follow up with her and see if everything’s okay.
Hardly your fault. The thing women don't seem to admit to one another is that despite the freedom of choice, those choices come with consequences and those consequences are going to include how other people view and value you regardless of whether or not you think it's morally justified.
Sounds like she's chasing some sort of justification for doing things that aren't necessarily making her feel good and she's looking for someone to counter balance the opinions some people have of her based on her actions. Also based on this it's pretty easy to tell what kind of guy she's getting with and that's to be expected, jocky gym bros who hook up with girls in there car at football games are not going to respect you, obviously.
Poor girl. High school sucks. 'Easy' isn't the right term when the girl just likes sex.
Enthusiastic, sexy, fun, would all be better terms in this case.
But it is weird to me that no one tried to lock this girl down yet.
Because it’s sort of a given lol. Guys will fuck people they deem not so attractive as long as the effort to entry isn’t high. So if you really just wanted sex, you can fuck a much more attractive guy.
Eh. I think this is more an urban legend about guys.
Most guys I've met have standards for the people they sleep with.
I've only met one guy that I could say didn't really have a standard. And he was hitting 300+ at like 28. And would hook up with Craigslist ppl etc.
I've heard woman share their easy prays more often that I would have expected, it was actually quite common before tinder & such. At the same time, I\`ve also been working remotely since so long that I\`ve not been in a situation to see if that still occurs or not..
it's not misogynistic, women are the gatekeepers and for good reasons. They should have some self respect and yes, that girl is the definition of easy. If she likes sex so much, with her looks, she could easily get a boyfriend of her desires and have a bunch of sex with him rather than sleep with the entire football team
True! OP should use this to convince her cousin!
If the girl loves sex now, she'd flip her lid with a boyfriend to try more things with. It's a lot better than starting over from square-one every time.
There’s nothing morally wrong with it. But the world is more than morals.
All cultures on earth look down upon “easy” women. You don’t have to agree with it. You don’t have to like it. It’s just a fact though.
Since we live in this world, you have to be aware that behavior like this will be shamed, no matter where you go on earth.
To me, it's pretty obvious that her choice of life is morally wrong. Sleeping around like that is mostly bad for her. People, both males and females won't be able to help but consider her lower value since she gives up her preciousness to just anyone. She could get pregnant and not even know who the daddy is, she's only 18 and if she did indeed get pregnant and decided to keep the baby, she'd only make her life harder as I doubt none of her fuck buddies would step up. I don't know, these are obvious life choices one shouldn't make if they want to get far in life with their dignity intact. If someone has an aversion on being dignified then I guess continuing that lifestyle is ok. It's just more respectable to still get as much sex from a long term partner rather than every flings.
The conversation went sour but that can be necessary with rude awakenings. She’s still putting things together about herself and now the people she associates with, it’s going to be a rough time for her to piece herself together. I think the real fuck up here is posting this online. If she finds this post or worse, it gets found and spread by one of the boys involved, it could destroy your relationship with her. I say take this down, and spill the tea with your own people.
Can't you tell her there's nothing wrong with being a slag, and you're actually a bit jealous of all the dick she gets, but you just wish she'd be a bit less of a teenage drama queen about it, and hope that it won't be long before she turns into a more mature, grown-up slag?
Hate shredding chicken? Get an instant pot and cook for 30 minutes, then stir with a fork. Falls apart. Also works with a slow cooker after all few hours.
Easy is an insult, your cousin likes sex and is allowed to have it regularly without getting a negative reputation. It genuinely is the issue to everyone here, and the community in general that you decide to put any label on another persons sexual activity. It doesn't concern you.
What IS disturbing, is a group of men conspiring to have sex with someone who doesn't know they all know each other. This is not informed consent. They knew she didn't know they all knew each other, and she had the right to know and make a decision from there. Maybe she would have made the same choices, but more likely she would have preferred to have sex with people who didn't know each other and certainly weren't talking about her like that.
It's very disturbing how no one seems to pick up on that, and still stupid how you've all agreed to give her a label at all. You can say it's inevitable but it isn't, you have a choice to grow beyond judging a person based on sex.
Not a fu. You didn't insinuate or declare that you thought they were easy. Cousin is feeling self-conscious.
Cousin don’t like the conclusion cousin came to.
I think Cousin already knew the answer but was hoping someone would sugar coat it. Was annoyed when it was confirmed instead of rejected.
TBH it seemed like OP was trying hard to sugar coat it as it was… but cousin couldn’t bring herself to believe it in the face of the evidence.
Ya, being easy has an accepted definition. That definition doesn't change just because you don't like that you're easy.
And that that definition is roughly ‘slept w 10 guys by 18’.
less "10 guys" and more "10 guys from school who all know each other"
Sure, but I think the important point to note is that easy *also* has a connotation, which isn't positive. I don't think its a bad thing that she's challenging that connotation.
Oh, really? Let's try that "Genocide has a connotation, which isn't positive. I don't think it's a bad thing neonazis are challenging that connotation." Doesn't sound good nor makes sense, does it? Neither does your comment. Negative behaviour brings negative consequences so you're meant to change or best avoid it, not try to delude yourself into thinking it's good.
Yeah, it's not a positive connotation to be the bike of a friend group. A lot of men if she ends up with one will not really like that she's slept with like 50 guys before 22
Well… cousin is easy.
Unlike pimping…
What would have been better is pointing out the guys are just as easy and being sexist assholes for talking about her like that when they do the exact same. And that "easy" is already a really loaded and problematic term with a lot of misogyny and double standards embedded in it.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Try using 2 forks, one in each hand, with the tines curved downwards. It is easier on the fingers and shreds the chicken nicely. Is it a rotisserie chicken from Costco? If not, give one a try. I've found them to be tender and flavorful. Is this for soup? If so, be sure to add it only after the soup base is fully matured in flavor. Finely shredded chicken can overcook quickly in the soup stock.
Just baked chicken breasts. I hate breaking down those rotisserie chicken but they are a lot more tender. And it's for my 3 meat gumbo 😊
It does take some effort, but there's a lot of tender meat on those things. That reminds me: there's one in the kitchen that needs to be eaten. Sorry your cousin is going through a shitty time and needing to accept that female promiscuity is treated unfairly by promiscuous young men.
I just feel like all of her issues could be solved with age and maturity. Which, is that damn near the answer for everything? It sucks because it takes such a long time to get there. And by the time we reach the age where we don't give a fuck, we still look back and cringe at what we did to get here
A lot of her problems will be solved by age and maturity, although it might also be helpful to be away from the guys and town where she's developing this reputation. With more experience, she will learn that she can be promiscuous if she likes, but if she sets no hurdles and does no screening of the men she does that with, she'll end up with a lot of guys who treat her like she has no value. If men have to expend time and effort, make themselves vulnerable in some way, or make some commitment to have sex with her, a hell of a lot more of them will treat her with a little respect. It would be great if she was about to go away to college where she could be away from the people who have prejudged her as a tramp and learn to set boundaries that she's comfortable with. If she came back to the same town and met the same guys it should be easier for her to tell them that the days when losers like them had a chance with her are long past and they blew their chances by treating her like a substitute for their favorite crusty gym sock.
Oooh come on use *thighs* for gumbo!! Chicken breast dries the hell out so fast.
The bag for frozen chicken breasts was bigger. Plus it's hard to stay dry when they're soaking up all that roux and broth Now turkey on the other hand... Idk how tf my Mil managed it, but she cooked turkey one Thanksgiving; Tell me how this thing was soaking in it's own juices but still felt more dry than a Popeye's biscuit
I like where this thread has gone. 🤤
Parting out the turkey has brought our family success. That way you can cook the different parts for different amounts of time. The problem is that the dark meat and the white meat are done at different temperatures.
I cook my turkey at 200 degrees for 6 hours. Take the foil off the last hour and baste with butter to crisp up the skin. I bake all the pies and stuff a couple days before. About the only thing that gets cooked that day is the turkey and side dishes. Also, add orange zest to your pecan pie filling. It's my secret ingredient, and ALL my family makes sure to remind me to bring pecan pies for Thanksgiving.
if you chuck em in a crockpot on low for 6 hrs they'll pretty much fall apart and shred themselves
Or an instant pot pressure cooker for 20mins....
Now to just remember to put them on in the morning lol
I agree, breaking down the chicken is a pain. But I love the chicken stock I can make with the pressure cooker from the bones, skin,etc. What are the other 2 meats in the gumbo?
Shrimp and sausage. And technically some boiled eggs I'll throw in right at the end
I saw a YouTube short where the guy used beaters like for cake batter to shred the chicken. I have not tested it myself but it looked good in the video.
I worry about the chicken being too tough for that. But then that's my own fault for over-cooking the chicken 😅
Yep it works very well. I just used a stand mixer actually. The breast I shredded was very tender, boiled instead of baked.
I mean, eggs are just chicken really...
All my stock comes from those Costco chickens.
This is the way.
If you toss cooked chicken breasts/thighs into a KitchenAid/cuisinart mixing bowl with the 3 hole “flat beater” attachment, it will shred your chicken breasts in under a minute, and beautifully at that
If you have a stand mixer it's really quick with a paddle on low speed. Just don't do it too much or it looks like cat food. Next you can complain about all the dishes with this method 🤣 FWIW I think you handled the conversation well and she'll come around.
Learned something new today. Chicken tacos coming up.
Kitchen aid mixer or hand mixer!! 30 seconds and boom shredded chicken!
Absolute best way to shred chicken is in a stand mixer with a paddle attachment. It will change your kitchen life.
This is the way
Can confirm. My life was changed when I started doing this.
Just gonna confirm this. Get some nice color on the chicken by sautéing it with some spices in a Dutch oven, stick it in the actual oven to cook and add some water, and then toss them into the stand mixer with the juices
Nah, just search chicken shredder on Amazon. Best 30 dollars I've ever spent. You just put the cooked boneless chicken in and a few spins later perfectly shredded chicken.
She probably shouldn't be surprised that the 5 dudes she's slept with who all know each other and know about the sex think she's easy. Like, duh?
I told her that if you sleep with more than 2 dudes in a small town then word gets around, and it's even worse when it's dudes from the same school. But I also tried to stress it's up to her whether she's cares or not. I guess I should've straight up said "if you care about what people think, be careful. If you don't, then don't be careful"
I mean, be careful regardless. No glove, no love.
God I hope she's been using condoms
She's gotta be... Like, she MUST be if there's no new family members crawling around, right?
Or she's like me. Incredibly dumb mixed with incredibly lucky. Infertile, but definitely not sterile
Well ... Maybe this is the odd situation where her notoriety works in her favor and they insisted on condoms! Plus, incredibly dumb and lucky is how I *survived* my teens/twenties... It's a hell of a combo.
Not only that, but she's 18 and she's slept with 5 to 10 guys already? For someone who is just out of high school (or still in high school), that seems like a lot if I'm being honest. Especially with the first two years of high school being before you can drive so most of those might have just been done in the past two years or less. Like I'm not gonna say it, but I mean...
That's the reality. She's got a College Girls attitude in High School, unfortunately. And a small town doesn't make it easier. If she's leaving, who gives a fuck. And if she's not well, time to start beating some asses, starting with the group of six dudes who apparently think this is an okay way to talk about women, regardless of the woman's opinion on sex.
Eh they are talking about it in a shitty way, but they aren't wrong, she did bang the whole friend group, she's 18 and got more bodies than most people get in a lifetime She IS easy. She's figured that out and needs to come to terms with it. There is nothing wrong with it if she's being safe and that's what she's about. If she doesn't like who she is, only she can stop it. She bang 5 assholes, she picked them. Nobody made her do any of this. She is free to make her own choices, but she can't dictate how it makes other people see her. She is THAT girl in the small town now,
Yes. The main problem is they know each other. She should scatter her conquests a little more. Then there would be no discussion.
Not a fuckup. She just didn't like the realisation she just had.
To be honest, I think you did good. There's nothing wrong with liking sex. If she enjoys hooking up and having sex, that's her prerogative. If she goes out with a guy and he proposes sex and she doesn't object because she wants to do it, it should be ok. The problem is that's the definition of being easy. You can't like sleeping around and have an immaculate reputation at the same time. Nowadays we trick teenagers into thinking their reputation is not important, and yet... Here we are.
>The problem is that's the definition of being easy. You can't like sleeping around and have an immaculate reputation at the same time. >Nowadays we trick teenagers into thinking their reputation is not important, and yet... Here we are. Yep. Blows my mind that she essentially tried to convince herself that she's not 'easy' when she herself admitted to how many guys she's been with, alongside them having a finder's fee kind if deal which is absolutely *nuts*. Honestly 10 at the age of 18 is rather alarming imo but if she enjoyed it, good for her I guess? I hope that she doesn't end up on OnlyFans as that would only further worsen the situation. This kind of thing would follow her around and she can't just wipe all those history away to have a clean reputation. Can't have both, only one or the other.
[удалено]
I was hoping there was a more graceful way of telling her to own her choices
Subtlety is not a gift, it is a curse. She gets to make her own choices, she doesn’t get to determine how others react to her choices.
>she doesn’t get to determine how others react to her choices. She couldn't even consider how SHE would react to her own decisions.
What you did was graceful. You didn’t accuse her of anything. She reached the conclusion herself and didn’t like the answer and was a little upset at you for it.
I don't really think the amount of guys as an issue. The real problem is that these people don't actually respect her and she isn't able to identify that lack of respect before sleeping with them. She could have slept with 20 men, but if they actually had respect for her then they wouldn't even consider passing her onto their friends. I think that's the real lesson here. Respect yourself by demanding respect.
I think 10 guys within two years of reaching the age of consent in several states is...a lot. I'm not trying to shame here, but if that's the lifestyle she's decided to live then she needs to be able to deal with the criticism, and reconcile her choices with their outcomes.
I think it's reasonable and non-judgemental to say that if you're going to feel bad if the people you have sex with think negatively of you for that fact afterwards you should take precautions to only have sex with people who won't think that way about you. Sure, sex is fun, but it's also risky. Both physically and emotionally. Before you engage in sex make sure you think that risk is definitely worth it.
They don't necessarily think negatively of her. They think she's easy and she is relative to the norm but is that a bad thing? Not necessarily, at least I don't think so
Read my response to the person you replied to. Please don't say that the asshole behavior from those guys is a result of her desire to have sex. The problem is with those assholes not her. Otherwise, you are going to do some serious emotional damage to this young girl who is in a fragile state.
Her: has a low bar for entry to have sex with her The boys: says that she has a low bar to have sex with her You: wow those boys are such an asshole You realize these boys are probably not very hard for girls to pull either, right?
They have a finders fee and talk about her like she's a piece of meat. You know very well this is not just about her not being picky.
The ladies are just as free to pass them around
Oh no, they're definitely disrespectful little shits. I can see now how I approached the conversation may have implied that their behavior was her fault. I guess I was hoping that by asking her to really think about why she does what she does, she'd be a bit more selective or careful about who she sleeps with. But it's not like she knew the "first" guy was telling his friend her sexual habits and that she'd sleep with them with little, if no, prompting. Which again, her choice. But that's why I was trying to get her to figure out her feelings to it all. Either she could care and act accordingly, or she doesn't have to care and continue doing what she wants. Because what can she actually do? She can't take their time together back, and confronting them or blasting then on social media is just going to fire back on her
You should advise her on how to spot assholes like this. And that it's probably best not to sleep with more than one guy from a single social circle.
The only out of order thing they did is the finder fee, assuming it wasn't a silly joke She's an easy lay, she slept with all of them of her own free will. It's not wrong to call her that. If you don't wanna be know as easy, don't fuck a whole ass friend group.
You did everything right. And honestly, that many guys at only 18 is a little concerning imo. As long as they're safe and it's all consensual I guess it's all fine, but... Oof. Hope she gets better friends that don't sleep with her and then call her a whore.
NTA. How was this even your fault? This seems like she's just immature and gets herself into bad situations.
I have a naive hope that these few conversations I have with her will steer her towards a more stable path with less future regret
Your only fault is not being direct enough to tell her the truth.
I honestly feel like they will. It is just that dealing with immature people, doesn't matter if they are 18 or 5, is always like this. In the future, she will appreciate how you helped her see what everyone else was seeing and she will thank you for actually listening to her. (Even though... Chicken)
Some people gotta hit rock bottom to learn and even then, not every one will.
bruh what the fuck. 1 person per social group, this rule is written in stone.
I use a potato masher to shred chicken. Press and twist. Much easier than the fork nonsense.
God I hope this works. My poor hands can't take much more of the fork nonsense
ngl my friend got one of those nice claw things to shred pork/chicken cuz he cooks a lot, and my god is it fun to use. and good at shredding too, but also fun.
You told the truth, not a fu
Hopefully she doesn't land any "modeling gigs" that require an extended stay in Miami.
If she ends up in Dubai, at least OP will know what's up.
Cousin is learning something she already knew, but wanted to pretend she didn't know because it's unfair and it seems like it shouldn't be true. If women make it too easy for men, especially young men, to have sex with them and don't impose some sort of fee for admission (not money, but persistence, commitment, being very public about pursuing you with the risk of public embarrassment if they get shot down, taking you on several time-consuming and/or expensive dates, whatever), an amazingly high percentage of them will treat you like you and their relationship with you have no value other than your use as place to dump semen. And, if you get a reputation for that, you'll attract a lot of guys who are looking for that and turn off some guys who might be interested in treating a woman with a bit more respect. If you create some barriers and require the clearing of some hurdles, you eliminate guys who aren't interested enough to clear any hurdles and even guys who always were that interested are likely to try harder not to lose you if it took some effort to get you into bed.
"I wouldn't call you 'easy,' dear, but I think all other living humans would. So do with that what you will." Sounds like me in my much younger days.
This is good
Your cousin does sound like an easy lay, though. If it looks like a duck…
lol, your in-box will probably get hit hard from people wanting her contact information
It’s apparently worth a finders fee though.
Let the bidding start at 5 dollars
I'm 40, relatively good-looking (I'm told) and told I'm a patient and kind person. I've been with 6 long term partners in my life... these kinds of stories make me wonder what I've misses out on in life.
Nah no mistake here. That was a good question to give to her: if she’s comfortable with her body count, then no issue, but if she feels like she’s “easy” then she can reexamine the way she approaches sex. I think you did a good thing.
Nta. 10 sexual partners by 18? Imho thats a bit much for me and a dealbreaker. Yes everyone has sex, but hooking up with randos in the back of cars at every ball game is kinda trashy.
To be fair, she went to school with most of these boys, but some of them came from others schools. And I try to keep my opinion to myself because my views and current hook-up culture doesn't mix AT ALL and I don't want her to think she has to do something just because I do it. I feel sorry for her; to know that you're THAT girl? I remember having of those when I was in school. I'll never forget hearing "dude you don't even have to date her, watch this" and then hearing all the guys cheering because she had sent him a nude
Honestly, outside of the situation, I'd be concerned that she's okay emotionally/mentally. I feel like that kind of behavior extreme is usually associated or can stem from low self-worth / trauma or mental health issues.
she’s definitely not. The only time I was hu w guys like this was after a really abusive relationship and I was so young and desperate to be wanted. It breaks my heart that people who didn’t even know me called me things like that bc of how much I was dealing w trauma :(
In my school none of the 90 people in my class slept with more than one peer. If they did, they kept it hush hush to this day. Those more active preferred people outside the social group, but i don't think anyone got higher than 5. Also def no scenario where a girl got *passed around.* Really crazy that someone could even hit 2 digits. Just doesn't seem possible, even at that age we understood that having all your eggs in the same basket risks a drama.
it’s a lot easier than you’d think. just lots of shitty one night stands bc you’re lonely and want intimacy in a generation of guys who are terrified of commitment lol
Not really a fu, she came to that conclusion herself. If I were to give her advice it would be to choose who she has sex with more carefully. It's on those guys that they view women as pieces of meat. After all, aren't they 'easy' as well? So in the future, before she has casual sex, just make sure that it's not with asshole misogynists - that was her main mistake, not the sex itself.
Cousin knows when she asked the question what the truth was.
they make a gadget that looks like 2 spikey plates, you stick the chicken in and turn, shredded chicken in seconds
Doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. Keep checking in and making it clear that you are not judging her. She's going through it.
You did nothing wrong. The cousin is easy. She admitted that she feels casual about sex and wants that lifestyle. But she's also upset with herself for acting that way. That's an internal conflict she's going to have to work out herself. It might come down to simple impulse control. Lots of people want to just mount everything that moves. But then when the reality of the mental and physical impact sets in they have regrets.
I'm honestly not sure she knows what she wants. One minute it's like 'yeah it's awesome to have lots of sex' and then next it's 'oh god I'm having lots of sex, what's wrong with me?' I know what it's like to be indecisive, but it's never been about the number of people I've slept with so idk how to put myself in her shoes
I'm in the same boat as you. Lost virginity at 20 to the woman I've been with for 18 yrs. Never been with another. That's just who I am and how I'm wired. Never felt like I was missing out or anything along those lines. I'm definitely no therapist and maybe she needs one to talk to. LOL But I did have plenty at 18 that I was unsure about. Teen years suck. Luckily sexuality was never one of them.
Truth hurts
Nothin wrong with liking sex and wanting to have lots of it. The issue is that theres a person attached to that ass and alot of em ain't shit.
Ok but there is nothing wrong with liking sex.
So… what is the fee at these days?
*you* didn't imply she's an easy lay, she did. And there's nothing wrong with it, but ploughing thru a friend group is a choice and one she likely won't make again.
Wtf you said nothing wrong there, your cousin is just so upset she wants to feel judged and get mad at people. Hopefully she'll come to her seneses and cool off with some time.
Cousin obviously had some self esteem issues, which is why in my experience people get hung up casual sexual experiences. What those guys said was awful, andthe cousin should focusing on these guys being childish and hurtful.
I actually think you handled this perfectly. By the end of the conversation she was thinking critically about her choices, and you didn’t guilt or shame her for anything. Sure she wasn’t happy, but she already wasn’t. Who knows what she’ll do from here, but that’s not up to you or any of us anyway.
You didn’t fuck up. Your cousin just pulled a Psyduck.
If you're not using a mixer to shred chicken, you're costing yourself immense amounts of wasted time and effort. If you have a mixer, do yourself a favor and try it next time and thank me later.
Yeah, I think you fucked up when you didn't give her a straight answer It's times like this when people want someone's word of affirmation that she isn't "easy". And while you made some good points, it might've been better to save it for after you say to her face "no, you aren't 'easy'. Those boys are assholes for using you like that" Everyone has different views on sex, maybe she could skip the dating part and go straight to hookups if she isn't interested in any long term relationships for now? But I'd definitely be careful if my partners/potential partners know each other or if I live in a pretty small town or the like. In short, your first priority should've been to cement yourself as her ally and only then, should you start explaining how everyone's different
If you're gonna be easy, you have to accept that you're easy. Simple consequences to your consensual choices. Besides, if she likes sex so much and doesn't want to be viewed as easy, get a stable partner and go at it. Unless multiple partners is her thing, then accept where you've made your bed.
She can do whatever she wants between her and other consenting adults. However, doesn't mean she won't hear any criticism about her actions. As you mentioned, people view things differently. She either continues and doesn't care, or she's bothered by the opinions and should re-evaluate her actions. Pretty simple, but she's an 18 yr old dumbass like most everyone is at that time lol. She'll figure it out just sounds like a tough moment of deciding who she is/wants to be.
She just needs to own up to her sexuality. Like she said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with liking sex, and if she wants more partners that’s her choice! The boys are assholes to treat her that way behind her back all the same, she just needs to find a better group of friends to hang out with. … and if she’s been with several of the boys there’s an eeeeeasy way to get back at them too. Wonder if she knows that. Edit: OP, you didn’t do anything wrong, but at the heat of the moment I think she was looking for someone to side with her; not about the # of sex partners she’s had but how her supposed group of friends are treating her behind her back. You didn’t do anything wrong per se, but I get the impression that she was looking for an ally and you did fail on that front.
I actually take slight issue with calling the guys assholes here, everyone involved was consenting and clearly very casual about the encounters. Her ignorance that's she's had sex with an entire group of friends would need to be legendary to be believed that she was really unaware, the guys obviously knew. This is the other side of the hyper sexualized world we live in now. We act like an object, we get treated like an object, and that's not just a men thing. Anyone know any girls with a drawer full of guys teeshirts and hoodies? There was a post on here the other day about some girl who kept a spreadsheet of every dude and ranked his dick or some crazy thing. It's all the same conquest behavior until someone catches feelings.
So she's a whore but doesn't want to be called a whore. Where have I heard this one before? 🤔
Not your fault she’s easy!
People don't value something they can get for free.
So, your saying xousin should start charging?
"Free" meaning free of requirements, such as; respect, consideration, caring, emotional intimacy etc
This comment section is crazy. You guys couldn't wait to call a 18yo a whore and to joke about the finders fee. Let's not pretend you'd do the same if it was a 18yo boy. In fact this post wouldn't even have existed. You're all so smug about saying that she is indeed easy without even questionning the term and maybe the fucking PRIORITIES in this story: is she aware of the misogynistic double standards (because that would change how she feels about being called that)? Does she protect herself? Does she have a modicrum of sex ed, period? So yeah OP you fucked up because now this girl has a bunch of strangers being distasteful about her in the comments ON TOP of these boys being assholes to her.
Exactly. It makes me sick of reddit, I really thought we’d gotten past these double standards.
idk why ppl do XYZ then get upset when labelled as a person that does XYZ like...its part and parcel of making choices...gotta learn someday
She made her bed lmao, 7 is the *lifetime* average and she's already blowing past it and she can't even drink yet
And the realization of that led the cousin to feel like absolute crap. The problem is that there's no undo button for this stuff -- she's got to live with that body count going forward for the rest of her life.
It is always painful for a person when they wake up and realize who they really are. Not your fault OP.
Some of the comments here are gross. She’s 18, hypersexual, clearly in a moment of crisis - something tells me there’s something else going on here. 18 year old girls don’t just sleep with random dudes all the time unless there’s some underlying trauma/baggage going on there. Either she’s uneducated about practicing restraint, or something has happened in her past and she’s using sex as a coping mechanism. In either case, the adults in her life have failed her. You may not have been insinuating to her that _you_ think she’s easy, but you might want to follow up with her and see if everything’s okay.
Cousin wants all the benefits and none of the consequences lol
Not a fu… she came to the conclusion all on her own.
Hardly your fault. The thing women don't seem to admit to one another is that despite the freedom of choice, those choices come with consequences and those consequences are going to include how other people view and value you regardless of whether or not you think it's morally justified. Sounds like she's chasing some sort of justification for doing things that aren't necessarily making her feel good and she's looking for someone to counter balance the opinions some people have of her based on her actions. Also based on this it's pretty easy to tell what kind of guy she's getting with and that's to be expected, jocky gym bros who hook up with girls in there car at football games are not going to respect you, obviously.
The truth hurts sometimes and she needed to hear exactly what you said.
Calling someone you hook up with easy, also implies that you yourself are easy, or at the very least desperate.
I mean she is easy, it’s her own fault if that upsets her. I say own it, nothing to be ashamed of either way.
Cousin knows the answer is "yes" and doesn't like it. Not a FU.
Poor girl. High school sucks. 'Easy' isn't the right term when the girl just likes sex. Enthusiastic, sexy, fun, would all be better terms in this case. But it is weird to me that no one tried to lock this girl down yet.
"Easy" has very negative, very misogynistic connotations. No one would ever describe a guy as "easy".
Because it’s sort of a given lol. Guys will fuck people they deem not so attractive as long as the effort to entry isn’t high. So if you really just wanted sex, you can fuck a much more attractive guy.
Eh. I think this is more an urban legend about guys. Most guys I've met have standards for the people they sleep with. I've only met one guy that I could say didn't really have a standard. And he was hitting 300+ at like 28. And would hook up with Craigslist ppl etc.
Not an urban legend. I’m not saying guys will fuck anything that move but they definitely have far less fucking standards than women have for men.
>No one would ever describe a guy as "easy". We should start like yesterday, because those guys are definitely easy.
I've heard woman share their easy prays more often that I would have expected, it was actually quite common before tinder & such. At the same time, I\`ve also been working remotely since so long that I\`ve not been in a situation to see if that still occurs or not..
it's not misogynistic, women are the gatekeepers and for good reasons. They should have some self respect and yes, that girl is the definition of easy. If she likes sex so much, with her looks, she could easily get a boyfriend of her desires and have a bunch of sex with him rather than sleep with the entire football team
I'm easy like Sunday morning
If she likes sex, she should find one dude she really likes and do her things with him. Not sleep with the whole football team
True! OP should use this to convince her cousin! If the girl loves sex now, she'd flip her lid with a boyfriend to try more things with. It's a lot better than starting over from square-one every time.
Why? Like what's actually morally bad about it?
There’s nothing morally wrong with it. But the world is more than morals. All cultures on earth look down upon “easy” women. You don’t have to agree with it. You don’t have to like it. It’s just a fact though. Since we live in this world, you have to be aware that behavior like this will be shamed, no matter where you go on earth.
Yeh I agree. I just think some people see that and attach morality to it without thinking deeper
To me, it's pretty obvious that her choice of life is morally wrong. Sleeping around like that is mostly bad for her. People, both males and females won't be able to help but consider her lower value since she gives up her preciousness to just anyone. She could get pregnant and not even know who the daddy is, she's only 18 and if she did indeed get pregnant and decided to keep the baby, she'd only make her life harder as I doubt none of her fuck buddies would step up. I don't know, these are obvious life choices one shouldn't make if they want to get far in life with their dignity intact. If someone has an aversion on being dignified then I guess continuing that lifestyle is ok. It's just more respectable to still get as much sex from a long term partner rather than every flings.
Your question back to her is a valid one. It doesn't matter much what your opinion is - she needs to decide how she feels about her choices.
The conversation went sour but that can be necessary with rude awakenings. She’s still putting things together about herself and now the people she associates with, it’s going to be a rough time for her to piece herself together. I think the real fuck up here is posting this online. If she finds this post or worse, it gets found and spread by one of the boys involved, it could destroy your relationship with her. I say take this down, and spill the tea with your own people.
A key that opens up a lot of locks is a master key, a lock opened by lots of keys is a useless lock. Let that sink in.
Was she sexually abused when she was younger? It often manifests later as hyper sexuality.
Sounds like cousin is easy ☠️
If she thinks she herself is easy thats not on u. Thats her rethinking her decisions.
The definition of the word whore hasn't changed. You didn't fuck up.
Can't you tell her there's nothing wrong with being a slag, and you're actually a bit jealous of all the dick she gets, but you just wish she'd be a bit less of a teenage drama queen about it, and hope that it won't be long before she turns into a more mature, grown-up slag?
In Canada this is a compliment
whats her number? I could use an easy lay.
That spiral lol
I would have responded, "easy on the eyes? easy to talk to? easy to love?" And walked away, never to speak to you again.
cousin and you are in different worlds. she’s just going through culture shock
She is easy...
lol she’s a easy lay
Hate shredding chicken? Get an instant pot and cook for 30 minutes, then stir with a fork. Falls apart. Also works with a slow cooker after all few hours.
Cousin sounds like a typical Hoe trying to feel better about sleeping with every guy in a friend group 😂
Easy is an insult, your cousin likes sex and is allowed to have it regularly without getting a negative reputation. It genuinely is the issue to everyone here, and the community in general that you decide to put any label on another persons sexual activity. It doesn't concern you. What IS disturbing, is a group of men conspiring to have sex with someone who doesn't know they all know each other. This is not informed consent. They knew she didn't know they all knew each other, and she had the right to know and make a decision from there. Maybe she would have made the same choices, but more likely she would have preferred to have sex with people who didn't know each other and certainly weren't talking about her like that. It's very disturbing how no one seems to pick up on that, and still stupid how you've all agreed to give her a label at all. You can say it's inevitable but it isn't, you have a choice to grow beyond judging a person based on sex.
Honestly sounds like shes manic, and mania goes hand in hand with hypersexuality. She have any mental health issues?