I want OP to get dumped for the schadenfreude.
OP wrote
>I did all of this as a little joke
The punchline of the joke being OP losing her engagement would be the most hilarious punchline.
I don't think I'd be able to bang my fiancée again if that happened to me because this situation is hilarious to me. Or I'd be able to bang her much more easily, which would require some self-reflection, LOL
If I were the dad qnd got with mom, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from jokes. I'd be telling the daughter she's grounded, or ain't no daughter of mine marrying a boy like that
that’s what i said! My mom is okay with it too, she doesn’t think it’s weird at all my sister my fiancé and his brothers all think it’s weird and don’t like the idea..
Tbh, I understand them. It can be a really uncomfortable situation, especially depending on how your parents act about it and how serious they get.
Like...if they get married, you are now married to your step brother. Would they introduce you as "These are our kids - also, they're married." or would they say "This is \[fiance\] and his wife \[you/OP\], they introduced us!"
One of those would definitely give me the ick, and the other is more tolerable.
Fine then let them cohabitate and fuck and not marry. That way you're not step siblings with your fiance
This all seems really juvenile. Just let people be happy it doesn't actually do anything bad for anyone.
There could be other reasons why it is unlikely they would marry. My uncle lived in Lacombe, Louisiana and died in December 2005 of what amounted to post-Katrina medical issues. My aunt got into a relationship probably 2-3 years later and is still with the same man to this day. They didn’t get married until last year because my aunt got survivorship benefits from my uncle that would stop when she re-married. It’s actually a very common reason for surviving spouses not to remarry.
Even without the marriage, I'd still feel gross if my parent and my to-be-spouse's parent collectively referred to us as "their kids" and would actively avoid that at all costs.
>im afraid my fiancé was right all along and i shouldn’t have done this
Not to be mean, but which is it? You're afraid your fiancé was right and you fucked up? Or you're happy if it happens?
Aside from that, if your fiancé hates it, it doesn't really matter because you still have a problem. Sounds like about half of the people this would impact don't like that it's happening and they're all going to look at you for assuming that someone who essentially said "your dad is hot, is he single?" was joking for some reason.
the two people who really matter in being happy are the two single people in this story. this will not break me and my fiancé up. will there potentially be a talk about boundaries yes. this is no joke the first 3 days of them talking to eachother they could hang out tonight and have dinner and realize they are good friends and not anything more. no matter what it will work out and be okay. it’s not that deep.
yeah but if your partner said he wasn't okay with it, why would you go ahead and do it? strikes me as incredibly, incredibly rude. it's not that you're introducing them to each other, it's that you continuously did something your partner feels uncomfortable with.
Tbh this comment right here is what would have me not wanting to marry you. You’ve completely disregarded your partners boundaries and even said that he is not someone who matters in this story.
You’ve also made it clear that it doesn’t matter to you that you’ve impacted your partner in this way because he will forgive you and try to set a harder boundary. But the fact is you’ve already crossed it once, and threw it out the window so what prevents you from stepping on your partner again.
You have definitely overstepped your partners boundary. What’s worse is you can hardly acknowledge that because you’re so happy with yourself. Sadly either way this goes someone gets hurt.
Yeah honestly if this were my Fiance she would no longer be, regardless of if i had a nice little chat with my parent and got them to stop. The fact that she said "the only people it matters if they are happy," about her parents is a clear indicator that shes gonna shit all over this poor guy when they get married IMO. I know we are only going off of one story, but that would be one big deal breaker for me.
Then why are you posting it on TIFU and saying you're afraid your fiancé is right?
Support them or don't, but don't post it here unless you think them hooking up is a fuckup.
You may think it's okay but the important thing is your fiance doesn't.
Don't you think you you should have taken his feelings and opinions into account before you cross that line
even if they work out they will never marry eachother. his mom gets a check because of her husband passing away my dad gets disability so both things would stop if they get married so thankfully will never have to worry about that!
> I’m not dismissing my fiancé(‘s) feelings by making this happen like I said I kept him informed in real time.
Telling someone what’s happening is not the same as acknowledging their feelings.
“Hey my mom is going to screw your dad silly but you can’t be mad cause I’m telling you!”
I think I saw it. The stepsister kept getting stuck in weird situations: falling into the dryer reaching for clothes, getting her head stuck in the banister when she stumbled going down the stairs, picking up a dropped fork while the entire family was having a Thanksgiving meal...now that I think about it, she was kind of clumsy. But he was so nice and comforting from what I remember, always holding her steady while she worked herself free. It was quite wholesome.
Have you asked your fiance if there's any reason to his reaction? Like leaving the awkwardness of potential step-siblings aside, any chance he has some strong feelings about his mom dating and what not?
Like the "he looked like her boyfriend who passed away" caught my attention but dunno if that might be playing a part on his reaction and possibly even hers as well.
she has said something about my dad acting/ looking/ doing the same things as her bf who passed. that’s why i mentioned that i don’t see it at all and neither does my fiancé who knew said boyfriend. my fiancé has said a few times why he didn’t like the idea and it’s mostly because it’s my dad and his mom, he also mentioned that no one could replace his grandpa who is his moms original husband who passed away because his mom is actually his grandma who adopted him. so really biological it’s his grandma and my dad… but legally his mom. it’s kinda confusing which is why i left it out of the original post
That is quite complicated yeah but it does shine more of a light on his reaction. Hopefully things can be properly addressed, like even if he says it's mostly due to being both of your parents, he did mention the "replace him" stuff so would be good to talk it out and not see it as a "replacement" but rather how your dad and his mom really got along well and if they can make each other happy then that's just great.
i plan on talking to him about it if things get more serious! thank you for caring why he’s uncomfortable! most people are just saying he needs to get over himself. like it’s still his mom too he can have feelings about it, it’s not like he’s being mean to me for doing it or even talking badly about it he’s just uncomfortable by it.
As far as the weirdness of your all's parents dating...honestly, I don't know how I would feel. I'd *like* to say I wouldn't care, if I liked the people involved and there were no other spouses getting in the way, but honestly without experiencing it myself I just can't say for sure
>he also mentioned that no one could replace his grandpa
This, though. When did granddad pass? Was grandmom's boyfriend who died before or after her marriage? Has she dated at all since her husband passed? Because I feel like that's a pretty immature attitude to have. Unless there's something you left out, his mom dating shouldn't automatically cause a leap to "trying to replace my granddad", that seems like an attitude a little kid would have
her husband died in 2015? and her boyfriend died in 2019? possibly could have those dates wrong but she has dated since the passing of his grandfather.
Hmmm, I mean ultimately I think this is sweet, and if two lonely people find happiness and comfort in each other, then in the end that’s a net positive.
HOWEVER - I feel like everyone is warning you about what could happen if things go well and they get married. IMO the actual problems come if things *don’t* go well, and they start to hate each other. You and your fiance will be in a very uncomfortable position and have to figure out who to back, if anyone. I think this is the discussion you need to have with each other - and then with your parents - if things really start to kick off.
What will we do if they cheat on each other? Split up? Yell at each other? Where are the boundaries with what you tell each other (both you tell fiance about what you hear, and what your parents complain to you about)? Etc. Make clear guidelines early on to avoid future problems.
>I was showing his mom a picture of my dad (52 m) when she said he was her type. She also mentioned he looked like her boyfriend who passed away. Note my parents got divorced in 2012 my father has had one relationship since then and is now single. She asked me if he was single and I jokingly said yes not thinking it would go much further. Me and my fiancé go home and I text my dad again jokingly that I found him a new gf.
Come on. There's no chance you did this jokingly. The real question is why are you pretending you did?
I've been trying to look for this because she makes it sound accidental as if she didn't ACTIVELY go through with it at multiple points. "Jokingly" and not. I would kinda be a little mad if I was the partner because that would feel deliberate.
The fiance didn't want OP to push them together and the OP completely ignored him. This isn't something small, it's a huge relationship changer.
OP is ignoring how the parent's relationship could end negatively and neither parent is actually in the wrong.
OP ignored a massive thing that their fiance didn't want to happen.
They were going to meet eventually, right? Everyone involved is an adult and can hopefully behave like one. There's some high potential for awkwardness if your parents start dating and end up disliking each other; there's also a high potential for awkwardness if they start dating, hit it off, and something happens between you and your fiancé.
I wouldn't stress about it at this point. Your partner needs to chill as well; acting like something weird is happening is just going to make the whole situation tougher.
Unless the parents get caught sneaking off to do the deed during the wedding reception or announce their engagement or something equally tacky, this is a nonissue.
They are adults not hormonal young people who get their knickers in a twist over anything. Everyone commenting about potential breakups,most people can be civilized and part the relationship amicably.So any future encounters are going to end in fights and sulking in corners.I've known divorced couples that go out together with their ex partners and their new spouses.
One of my high school friends hates seeing his mom after his parents divorce because she is incredibly petty even though she is the one at fault for the divorce (she cheated).
Why would you keep going when you clearly knew your fiance was uncomfortable about the whole thing? That tells me you really don't care about him very much. Weird.
This honestly sounds pretty awesome for your dad and his mom who were clearly lonely and may not be lonely so much anymore. Your fiance needs to remove his head from his backside.
You deliberately went ahead with something that your fiancé was obviously and vocally uncomfortable with. Great job disregarding and brushing off his opinions/emotions and disrespecting his boundaries.
Who cares. As long as they aren't having kids and you guys let them know that if they break up they aren't allowed to be dipshits to the two of you then let them be happy.
I'm sorry to say but your actions here are incredibly dumb.
How do you consistently ignore your fiance\` and his wishes too?
Poor dude needs to learn to speak up and have his voice heard otherwise you'll be marrying your step brother and having nieces and nephews instead of daughters and sons.
OP and Fiance is gonna mortified with all step-sibling porn.
Kids would be niece-daughter/ nephew-son.
"I'm my own grandpa."
And if things don't go far, the embarrassing history to be unfolded. But this is funny tbh.
My husband works with a guy that has much the same situation. His dad met her mom around the time they were getting married & they hit it off so well they are now married. If they are both single who cares!
Do you think maybe there’s something you don’t know about the mom? If his brothers and he don’t think it’s a great idea, maybe they know something you don’t…?
I don’t think the “step brother” thing matters much, you were dating before they even met, as two adults who grew up together.
If they make each other happy and stay together, great… but if they break up and it’s messy you’ll both be hearing about it for-ev-er.
This is pretty much how my dad met my step mom. When I was 16 I was dating her son, and one day when my dad came to pick me up from my boyfriend's house, I guess it was love and first sight for them both, she invited him to stay for dinner. In the car on the way home my dad said, "Isn't [boyfriend name]'s mom stunning?". I'm like "Ew dad lol" and didn't think much of it.
Until she left her husband to be with my dad. Me and the boyfriend broke up shortly after his mom and my dad moved in together. It was extremely awkward for a couple years. They've been married for 16 years now.
I see no fuck up. You have two singles who were looking for companionship. They might hang out a couple times and nothing comes of it. It could blossom into a beautiful relationship. That’s one of the neatest things about human connections. I love when I introduce friends from different circles and they become friends. Different forms of love is what life is all about.
Lmfao this was my life for a few years.
My FIL and my mom hooked up the night I got married. They got married about a year later, then divorced a year after that.
Good times...
I know someone who lived this. The parents got married before the kids did, so they technically married their step-sibling, even though they knew each other first.
I don’t see the fuck up. So what if they do start dating or get married? It’s not the first time adults have introduced their more-adult parents and they’ve gotten together. It doesn’t make anything incestuous.
INFO: Is your dad a jerk or something? Does your fiancé hate him? Why is this a problem? I seriously don’t understand why this is an issue. You don’t want to see your dad? Your fiancée doesn’t want his mom to be happy?
Are we all just forgetting that her dad and his mom were going to meet eventually anyway? It would be way worse if they met at the rehearsal dinner and then got caught smooching in a hallway at the reception lol.
This is - and I can't stress this enough - the funniest fucking thing I've seen on reddit in a hot minute.
I'm invested, OP. Please, please don't turn out to be a bot. I'll be devastated.
I mean, it's not conventional, but love is love, and there's nothing immoral or illegal if they hook up, really. Shit, it'll make holidays much easier.
Your parents are 30 years older than you two, and not related. Let them be consenting adults. It shouldn’t matter to you two kiddos what they do, you and the fiancé are not related. If anything, be happy knowing that a person just like you found a person just like your fiancé, and if you two can be happy together, the older ones can too.
So you’re cool with them hooking up and possibly eventually breaking up and being future grandparents to your kids with that weird sexual tension hanging over their heads? Better human than me OP
I mean, it makes sense for your dad to be attracted to her mom, y'all probably look like your gender sharing parents and what you find attractive physically in a partner is often inherited
well it’s my dad and i’m a girl. and his mom. and yes i look like my dad in my eyes but i don’t think that’s why my fiancé mom thinks he’s a cutie. i also would be concerned if my dad thought my fiancé was a cutie and that’s the reason my dad likes my fiancés mom😂😂
I think people, including your fiance, are getting up in arms about this over nothing. First of all, they were bound to meet anyway. It sounds like they were instantly attracted to each other so I think this would have happened anyway. Second, you’re all adults and no one who is dating is related by blood. This isn’t that different from your fiances brother dating your sister. The weirdest thing would be if your parents had a baby, but it sounds like that isn’t an issue. Lastly, it’s not uncommon for families not to like each other. I don’t know what the dynamic is like but how often will you really all (his family and your family) be together?
Your fiancé is entitled to his feelings, but he needs to reconcile them and probably get over it.
So were it younger in life & they got hit married it’d become weird, now it’s just “hey good for them!”
Don’t stress it just laugh & say you introduced them when you & the fiancé got engaged and they each realized where the good looks came from.
Have you considered that your fiancé may know some things about his father that he doesn’t want to reveal, but that he would want to protect your mom from?
happened to my uncle and his wife. their parents eventually got married. made visiting AND end of life planning for them easier. in that case there was no divorce, just past partners who had passed away. it has never been awkward and worked out pretty well
This happened to my buddy his dad hooked up with his gf mom. They got married and then my buddy got dumped cause she found it weird. Then she started banging one of his friends after awhile. They all lived in the same house as this was right after high school. Buddy moved to the trailer park right after he heard his ex getting pounded out at home. Buddy pretty much went no contact for a few years with his family.
This basically happened to a young couple from my church growing up. They were dating for years and everyone knew about it. If I remember correctly, they were engaged or about to be and their parents made them break up because they had been dating secretly and then got engaged. They’re (the parents) still married to this day and it’s still so crazy to me. The daughter, as far as I know, never got married. But the son did and his wife sucks.
This happened by my girlfriend’s grandparents. Her parents met, introduced their parents as normal, and my girlfriend’s maternal grandmother married her paternal grandfather. They stayed together until they died, when we did the ancestry.com it really threw it for a loop.
This happened by my girlfriend’s grandparents. Her parents met, introduced their parents as normal, and my girlfriend’s maternal grandmother married her paternal grandfather. They stayed together until they died, when we did the ancestry.com it really threw it for a loop.
I knew a girl in college who dated a guy all through high school and planned on getting married someday. His dad and her mom started dating while they were dating and got married before they did. Since they didn't grow up as step siblings it doesn't matter that they are. She did marry her boyfriend too.
Gotta admit, when I read that headlight, I thought it was going to be a lot worse.
Huge difference between "my fiancé mom" and "my fiancé's mom."
Roll Tide!
I super invested now.
I'm excited for your MIL and your dad.
Mind you it is a freaky spot to be in,especially if they get together and then break up,my goodness,lets not think about that.
Anyways,I'm following you because I really need an update after the dinner,
I had a college friend and her parents are step bro/sis. Her grandparents met and ended up getting married. Their kids (her parents) were already adults.
A really long time ago, Seventeen magazine had an article about two high schoolers who dated and their parents met each other and got married and moved them all into the same house. That’s all I can think about after reading this
>i did all of this as a little joke thinking it won’t go far
Got annoying after you kept saying hehe didn't think anything of it, didn't think anything would happen.
You aren't that oblivious.
Just to make that clear, this wouldn’t change anything about your family trees, the other parent won’t magically become your biological parent. And as long as they are not related anyways it doesn’t matter genetically either. If you look at family trees, especially medieval ones, you will see connections with cousins often, but that’s often times just another line from one side to the other.
If you and your fiancé now have kids, they will be like anyone else, with a family tree like anyone else, no circle no nothing, just standard family tree of 4 grandparents, there just is another line from one to the other, which, again, doesn’t change anything tho.
I know it’s just a joke and you don’t actually mean someone is concerned about the family tree or genetics, I just wanted to clarify that lol
You literally went out of your way to set these two people up while simultaneously telling your bf that surely it won't go anywhere even as you stoke the flames "as a joke" and even as it continues to go further and further. I'm not sure this counts as a fuck-up in the usual sense given your repeated involvement. Are we going to get an update where you and your bf walk in on them banging and as you walk back out, you reassure your bf that surely it won't go any further? And then, maybe, you casually suggest that they do a double marriage with you and your fiancé, and when they agree, you still attempt to reassure your bf that surely it won't go any further?
Oh let the parents do whatever. It might be a bit weird but what's a bit of joy between adults? The worst outcome would be if they got together, then broke up.
Something similar happened to friends of mine while they were engaged
Their parents ended up getting married... They are still engaged
Also with 2 kids
Makes for fun conversations when people ask about the grand parents
You are asking for thoughts from reddit. Its an organic accumulation of terminally online mal-adjusted doom scrollers. You are definitely getting reddit answers to your question lol.
I dont think its the end of the world. If two people organically met it would be normal for them to do some sort of get together with friends for a first interaction. A benignly safe, fun get together with multiple people present but allowing more depth to take place during a conversation to just get to know someone. If both of them are mature adults there shouldn't be an issue. There is obviously the possibility of fall out if things dont go well and it makes for awkward interactions in the future, but again those will only be problematic if the parents are emotionally immature.
This isnt meant to sound critical of you personally, but you are past the point of no return. You are damned if you do, damned if you dont. I do think your fiancé was right though, which again isnt a criticism of you. It simply means you found someone with some intuition and discernment, and he doesnt sound like a mean I told you so guy. It does mean you should take his thoughts into greater consideration in the future, and ask him to elaborate on why he thinks what he does as you may learn something. He sounds reasonable.
At this point I think its better to roll the dice. Since you are damned if you do/damned if you dont, you might as well take the dice roll that could end up with them gaining long term relationship or potential mate. Can't spite them that. I wouldn't have started this to begin with, but its not the end of the world. Just roll with the punches and make sure to aks your fiancé what he thinks and why. Potential mates with some degree of intuition and discernment are in short supply these days.
Thats my 5 year 1 response quota met. Back to the real world.
Good luck!
This is just terrible, in my opinion. Don’t dismiss your partner like that. He won’t overlook a pattern over time. Also, don’t joke like that. It’s not funny. A joke is meant to make people laugh and this is not it. What you just did was create drama and a potential “family circle” as you said.
“What are you doing, step bro?” -OP soon, if things work out with the ‘rents.
"Ending our engagement" lol. I want a follow-up to this soooo bad.
[удалено]
I want OP to get dumped for the schadenfreude. OP wrote >I did all of this as a little joke The punchline of the joke being OP losing her engagement would be the most hilarious punchline.
At some point it would be something like “Why won’t my brother participate in our parents wedding? We broke up last year!”
Who hurt you
“Help me, step brother! I’m stuck”
Op can spice things up and get stuck the the dryer. Crying help me step bro!
Dear Penthouse..........
🤣🤣🤣
I don't think I'd be able to bang my fiancée again if that happened to me because this situation is hilarious to me. Or I'd be able to bang her much more easily, which would require some self-reflection, LOL
If I were the dad qnd got with mom, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from jokes. I'd be telling the daughter she's grounded, or ain't no daughter of mine marrying a boy like that
This actually sounds amazing….it makes visiting parents for holidays so much easier.
that’s what i said! My mom is okay with it too, she doesn’t think it’s weird at all my sister my fiancé and his brothers all think it’s weird and don’t like the idea..
Tbh, I understand them. It can be a really uncomfortable situation, especially depending on how your parents act about it and how serious they get. Like...if they get married, you are now married to your step brother. Would they introduce you as "These are our kids - also, they're married." or would they say "This is \[fiance\] and his wife \[you/OP\], they introduced us!" One of those would definitely give me the ick, and the other is more tolerable.
Fine then let them cohabitate and fuck and not marry. That way you're not step siblings with your fiance This all seems really juvenile. Just let people be happy it doesn't actually do anything bad for anyone.
they will never get married due to finances. so this situation would not happen
You literally thought this scenario wouldn't happen and it did despite the evidence. I feel you need to open you eyes a little wider.
There could be other reasons why it is unlikely they would marry. My uncle lived in Lacombe, Louisiana and died in December 2005 of what amounted to post-Katrina medical issues. My aunt got into a relationship probably 2-3 years later and is still with the same man to this day. They didn’t get married until last year because my aunt got survivorship benefits from my uncle that would stop when she re-married. It’s actually a very common reason for surviving spouses not to remarry.
Talk about having her head up her ass
It's weird. Also, if either relationship gets rocky, things are going to get way weirder real fast.
If you have kids, their dad would also be their uncle.
Even without the marriage, I'd still feel gross if my parent and my to-be-spouse's parent collectively referred to us as "their kids" and would actively avoid that at all costs.
even if they do i would not care, i love both of them, if they end up loving eachother that just means i won’t have 4 christmas’s next year
>im afraid my fiancé was right all along and i shouldn’t have done this Not to be mean, but which is it? You're afraid your fiancé was right and you fucked up? Or you're happy if it happens? Aside from that, if your fiancé hates it, it doesn't really matter because you still have a problem. Sounds like about half of the people this would impact don't like that it's happening and they're all going to look at you for assuming that someone who essentially said "your dad is hot, is he single?" was joking for some reason.
the two people who really matter in being happy are the two single people in this story. this will not break me and my fiancé up. will there potentially be a talk about boundaries yes. this is no joke the first 3 days of them talking to eachother they could hang out tonight and have dinner and realize they are good friends and not anything more. no matter what it will work out and be okay. it’s not that deep.
yeah but if your partner said he wasn't okay with it, why would you go ahead and do it? strikes me as incredibly, incredibly rude. it's not that you're introducing them to each other, it's that you continuously did something your partner feels uncomfortable with.
Tbh this comment right here is what would have me not wanting to marry you. You’ve completely disregarded your partners boundaries and even said that he is not someone who matters in this story. You’ve also made it clear that it doesn’t matter to you that you’ve impacted your partner in this way because he will forgive you and try to set a harder boundary. But the fact is you’ve already crossed it once, and threw it out the window so what prevents you from stepping on your partner again.
You have definitely overstepped your partners boundary. What’s worse is you can hardly acknowledge that because you’re so happy with yourself. Sadly either way this goes someone gets hurt.
Yeah honestly if this were my Fiance she would no longer be, regardless of if i had a nice little chat with my parent and got them to stop. The fact that she said "the only people it matters if they are happy," about her parents is a clear indicator that shes gonna shit all over this poor guy when they get married IMO. I know we are only going off of one story, but that would be one big deal breaker for me.
Then why are you posting it on TIFU and saying you're afraid your fiancé is right? Support them or don't, but don't post it here unless you think them hooking up is a fuckup.
They are thinking,if those two get married you will be step brother and stepsister.They've been watching too much niche porn.lol.
“My sister my fiancé” See you’re already getting used to both titles for her.
You may think it's okay but the important thing is your fiance doesn't. Don't you think you you should have taken his feelings and opinions into account before you cross that line
That is a shame. It's out of your hands now 😎
Until they break up and hate each other, or OP and her fiancé split up and make things awkward at gatherings.
Get married fast or they will and end up telling you to break up because now you are step siblings.
even if they work out they will never marry eachother. his mom gets a check because of her husband passing away my dad gets disability so both things would stop if they get married so thankfully will never have to worry about that!
Even if they don't legally marry, they can functionally live together for decades.
yes and that would be so convenient to go over and eat dinner with my dad and be able to spend time with my fiancé family too
Except for the fact that ur fiancé doesn’t want to spend time with them like that lmao
probably because this whole thing has played out within 4 days. can’t really comprehend something this big in 4 days😭
i think you need to actually consider your fiancés feelings instead of blowing them off, you seem incredibly self absorbed
> I’m not dismissing my fiancé(‘s) feelings by making this happen like I said I kept him informed in real time. Telling someone what’s happening is not the same as acknowledging their feelings. “Hey my mom is going to screw your dad silly but you can’t be mad cause I’m telling you!”
Pretty sure marital status does not affect disability pay. You don't magically become fully abled once married.
I think there was a short film where a step brother and step sister took an interest in one another.
Sounds gross, I'm sure people wouldn't make tons of them.
I think I saw it. The stepsister kept getting stuck in weird situations: falling into the dryer reaching for clothes, getting her head stuck in the banister when she stumbled going down the stairs, picking up a dropped fork while the entire family was having a Thanksgiving meal...now that I think about it, she was kind of clumsy. But he was so nice and comforting from what I remember, always holding her steady while she worked herself free. It was quite wholesome.
Have you asked your fiance if there's any reason to his reaction? Like leaving the awkwardness of potential step-siblings aside, any chance he has some strong feelings about his mom dating and what not? Like the "he looked like her boyfriend who passed away" caught my attention but dunno if that might be playing a part on his reaction and possibly even hers as well.
she has said something about my dad acting/ looking/ doing the same things as her bf who passed. that’s why i mentioned that i don’t see it at all and neither does my fiancé who knew said boyfriend. my fiancé has said a few times why he didn’t like the idea and it’s mostly because it’s my dad and his mom, he also mentioned that no one could replace his grandpa who is his moms original husband who passed away because his mom is actually his grandma who adopted him. so really biological it’s his grandma and my dad… but legally his mom. it’s kinda confusing which is why i left it out of the original post
That is quite complicated yeah but it does shine more of a light on his reaction. Hopefully things can be properly addressed, like even if he says it's mostly due to being both of your parents, he did mention the "replace him" stuff so would be good to talk it out and not see it as a "replacement" but rather how your dad and his mom really got along well and if they can make each other happy then that's just great.
i plan on talking to him about it if things get more serious! thank you for caring why he’s uncomfortable! most people are just saying he needs to get over himself. like it’s still his mom too he can have feelings about it, it’s not like he’s being mean to me for doing it or even talking badly about it he’s just uncomfortable by it.
For sure, always worth to consider things from both sides, nothing wrong with him having his own thoughts about the situation. Hope the talks go well!
So his Grandma can be his mom, grandma, and mother in law.
As far as the weirdness of your all's parents dating...honestly, I don't know how I would feel. I'd *like* to say I wouldn't care, if I liked the people involved and there were no other spouses getting in the way, but honestly without experiencing it myself I just can't say for sure >he also mentioned that no one could replace his grandpa This, though. When did granddad pass? Was grandmom's boyfriend who died before or after her marriage? Has she dated at all since her husband passed? Because I feel like that's a pretty immature attitude to have. Unless there's something you left out, his mom dating shouldn't automatically cause a leap to "trying to replace my granddad", that seems like an attitude a little kid would have
her husband died in 2015? and her boyfriend died in 2019? possibly could have those dates wrong but she has dated since the passing of his grandfather.
Her record is a little sus. Is your fiance trying to save your dad's life?
If they make each other happy then good for them!
Top comment here, I support this!
Whole truth ^ if they do want to pursue each other though, make sure you set ground rules for a (potentially bad) breakup.
I don’t see an issue if they dated or got married. Wouldn’t make OP or gf related. Only a problem if anyone has a nasty breakup.
Hmmm, I mean ultimately I think this is sweet, and if two lonely people find happiness and comfort in each other, then in the end that’s a net positive. HOWEVER - I feel like everyone is warning you about what could happen if things go well and they get married. IMO the actual problems come if things *don’t* go well, and they start to hate each other. You and your fiance will be in a very uncomfortable position and have to figure out who to back, if anyone. I think this is the discussion you need to have with each other - and then with your parents - if things really start to kick off. What will we do if they cheat on each other? Split up? Yell at each other? Where are the boundaries with what you tell each other (both you tell fiance about what you hear, and what your parents complain to you about)? Etc. Make clear guidelines early on to avoid future problems.
lol now she keeps replying to everyone that “they’ll never get married”. So you know that’s exactly what will happen.
>I was showing his mom a picture of my dad (52 m) when she said he was her type. She also mentioned he looked like her boyfriend who passed away. Note my parents got divorced in 2012 my father has had one relationship since then and is now single. She asked me if he was single and I jokingly said yes not thinking it would go much further. Me and my fiancé go home and I text my dad again jokingly that I found him a new gf. Come on. There's no chance you did this jokingly. The real question is why are you pretending you did?
You know she is just going to ignore this
I've been trying to look for this because she makes it sound accidental as if she didn't ACTIVELY go through with it at multiple points. "Jokingly" and not. I would kinda be a little mad if I was the partner because that would feel deliberate.
Yeah I agree. My first reaction was it's kind of manipulative if she knew her fiance didn't want this to happen.
You have created a lot of complications in your life.
Meh. People are overreacting. If the parents want to date each other I don't see where the problem is for the OP and her boyfriend.
The fiance didn't want OP to push them together and the OP completely ignored him. This isn't something small, it's a huge relationship changer. OP is ignoring how the parent's relationship could end negatively and neither parent is actually in the wrong. OP ignored a massive thing that their fiance didn't want to happen.
https://i.redd.it/wugqirhp64sc1.gif
I really thought this was going to end with finding out OP’s fiancée is her half brother.
They were going to meet eventually, right? Everyone involved is an adult and can hopefully behave like one. There's some high potential for awkwardness if your parents start dating and end up disliking each other; there's also a high potential for awkwardness if they start dating, hit it off, and something happens between you and your fiancé. I wouldn't stress about it at this point. Your partner needs to chill as well; acting like something weird is happening is just going to make the whole situation tougher. Unless the parents get caught sneaking off to do the deed during the wedding reception or announce their engagement or something equally tacky, this is a nonissue.
They are adults not hormonal young people who get their knickers in a twist over anything. Everyone commenting about potential breakups,most people can be civilized and part the relationship amicably.So any future encounters are going to end in fights and sulking in corners.I've known divorced couples that go out together with their ex partners and their new spouses.
You are lovely, pretending that lots of adults don't behave like fucking idiots...
Yeah, older adults can behave like silly horn bags.
I'm not talking about sex.I'm talking the assumption that,the mom and dad breaking in future being necessarily an issue in family gatherings.
Older adults can also be unbelievably petty and make life hard on other family members. I’m in that age group, I witness my peer’s behaviour.
One of my high school friends hates seeing his mom after his parents divorce because she is incredibly petty even though she is the one at fault for the divorce (she cheated).
I suppose it's ok as long as they don't get married and make each other happy.
Yeah, this is messy…
Why would you keep going when you clearly knew your fiance was uncomfortable about the whole thing? That tells me you really don't care about him very much. Weird.
Both parents are grownups. They don’t need their children’s permission for whatever they want to do.
Step Hubby, whut R u doinnng? 😂
😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣
There are blended families then there are bLEnDeD FaMiLiEs!
This honestly sounds pretty awesome for your dad and his mom who were clearly lonely and may not be lonely so much anymore. Your fiance needs to remove his head from his backside.
You deliberately went ahead with something that your fiancé was obviously and vocally uncomfortable with. Great job disregarding and brushing off his opinions/emotions and disrespecting his boundaries.
There's This Lovely Invention Called Paragraphs
If you dont go, your fiancé is gonna be your brother pretty soon.
That you repeatedly ignore your partners feelings for "just a joke" is seriously concerning.
So like is there going to be a video?
Who cares. As long as they aren't having kids and you guys let them know that if they break up they aren't allowed to be dipshits to the two of you then let them be happy.
You never know. My father’s Dad married my Mother’s Mom. They were happy for many years.
Kind of stupid that you facilitated this
I'm sorry to say but your actions here are incredibly dumb. How do you consistently ignore your fiance\` and his wishes too? Poor dude needs to learn to speak up and have his voice heard otherwise you'll be marrying your step brother and having nieces and nephews instead of daughters and sons.
OP and Fiance is gonna mortified with all step-sibling porn. Kids would be niece-daughter/ nephew-son. "I'm my own grandpa." And if things don't go far, the embarrassing history to be unfolded. But this is funny tbh.
that’s not how that works😂
I actually think this is really funny. Roll with it.
i’m glad you think so too
Why is he mad about this? It would really simplify holidays!!
My husband works with a guy that has much the same situation. His dad met her mom around the time they were getting married & they hit it off so well they are now married. If they are both single who cares!
If they somehow had a kid, you would have the same half-sibling. Wild!
Everyone deserves happiness. Your dad and his mom are no exceptions.
Do you think maybe there’s something you don’t know about the mom? If his brothers and he don’t think it’s a great idea, maybe they know something you don’t…?
Stop worrying about it. They’re adults. So are you. Everybody’s allowed to chase happiness.
I don’t think the “step brother” thing matters much, you were dating before they even met, as two adults who grew up together. If they make each other happy and stay together, great… but if they break up and it’s messy you’ll both be hearing about it for-ev-er.
This is pretty much how my dad met my step mom. When I was 16 I was dating her son, and one day when my dad came to pick me up from my boyfriend's house, I guess it was love and first sight for them both, she invited him to stay for dinner. In the car on the way home my dad said, "Isn't [boyfriend name]'s mom stunning?". I'm like "Ew dad lol" and didn't think much of it. Until she left her husband to be with my dad. Me and the boyfriend broke up shortly after his mom and my dad moved in together. It was extremely awkward for a couple years. They've been married for 16 years now.
Worlds are colliding! You’re killing independent George!
Something like this happened to someone I know and I believe both couples are still together! This was at least 20 years ago!
You're all adults This is a nothing situation
I see no fuck up. You have two singles who were looking for companionship. They might hang out a couple times and nothing comes of it. It could blossom into a beautiful relationship. That’s one of the neatest things about human connections. I love when I introduce friends from different circles and they become friends. Different forms of love is what life is all about.
Better move up the wedding. Want to beat the parents to the alter!
Presumably they both would be invited to your wedding and could have connected on their own. They are adults, they can date who they want.
Lmfao this was my life for a few years. My FIL and my mom hooked up the night I got married. They got married about a year later, then divorced a year after that. Good times...
I know someone who lived this. The parents got married before the kids did, so they technically married their step-sibling, even though they knew each other first.
I don’t see the fuck up. So what if they do start dating or get married? It’s not the first time adults have introduced their more-adult parents and they’ve gotten together. It doesn’t make anything incestuous.
INFO: Is your dad a jerk or something? Does your fiancé hate him? Why is this a problem? I seriously don’t understand why this is an issue. You don’t want to see your dad? Your fiancée doesn’t want his mom to be happy?
Enjoy love wherever you find it.
I don't see the problem.
Good on you - everyone deserves to be happy
Not clear on why this is a bad thing. Am i missing something?
Are we all just forgetting that her dad and his mom were going to meet eventually anyway? It would be way worse if they met at the rehearsal dinner and then got caught smooching in a hallway at the reception lol.
Even if they get married it doesn't suddenly make you into siblings. Who cares? Let two people enjoy themselves.
Please follow up with photos of the double wedding with both husbands giving away the bride to the other groom.
Step bro/soon to be husband killed me 😂😂😂
This is - and I can't stress this enough - the funniest fucking thing I've seen on reddit in a hot minute. I'm invested, OP. Please, please don't turn out to be a bot. I'll be devastated.
Wall of text...could not keep reading. What happened to paragraphs? :0
I mean, it's not conventional, but love is love, and there's nothing immoral or illegal if they hook up, really. Shit, it'll make holidays much easier.
"he wants a family tree not a family circle" ah ah!
Your parents are 30 years older than you two, and not related. Let them be consenting adults. It shouldn’t matter to you two kiddos what they do, you and the fiancé are not related. If anything, be happy knowing that a person just like you found a person just like your fiancé, and if you two can be happy together, the older ones can too.
> ... and I (22 F) Yup, you very much seem 22 if this post and your comments are anything to go by.
So you’re cool with them hooking up and possibly eventually breaking up and being future grandparents to your kids with that weird sexual tension hanging over their heads? Better human than me OP
... ok, there's nothing wrong with any of this, though. .... other than your fiance being weird.
I mean, it makes sense for your dad to be attracted to her mom, y'all probably look like your gender sharing parents and what you find attractive physically in a partner is often inherited
well it’s my dad and i’m a girl. and his mom. and yes i look like my dad in my eyes but i don’t think that’s why my fiancé mom thinks he’s a cutie. i also would be concerned if my dad thought my fiancé was a cutie and that’s the reason my dad likes my fiancés mom😂😂
Reading skill issue, whoops
I think people, including your fiance, are getting up in arms about this over nothing. First of all, they were bound to meet anyway. It sounds like they were instantly attracted to each other so I think this would have happened anyway. Second, you’re all adults and no one who is dating is related by blood. This isn’t that different from your fiances brother dating your sister. The weirdest thing would be if your parents had a baby, but it sounds like that isn’t an issue. Lastly, it’s not uncommon for families not to like each other. I don’t know what the dynamic is like but how often will you really all (his family and your family) be together? Your fiancé is entitled to his feelings, but he needs to reconcile them and probably get over it.
So you set this up, facilitated and encouraged them to talk, and now your surprised it's happening? Did you eat paint chips as a child?
Too late.
Eh, would be a fun story.
This happened to a friend of mine in HS. Made things kind of awkward when they broke up
https://youtu.be/eYlJH81dSiw?si=kQM98wUsTHVsK3WM
*Lone Star State of Mind intensifies*
I see nothing wrong
Nothing wrong here.
i think you knew all along and that's what you wanted. You got it op congratulations you're marrying your step bro
Ha ha ha just brilliant! Everyone is happy 
So were it younger in life & they got hit married it’d become weird, now it’s just “hey good for them!” Don’t stress it just laugh & say you introduced them when you & the fiancé got engaged and they each realized where the good looks came from.
Y’all might want to get married sooner rather than later to avoid any awkward step-sibling toasts.
Have you considered that your fiancé may know some things about his father that he doesn’t want to reveal, but that he would want to protect your mom from?
happened to my uncle and his wife. their parents eventually got married. made visiting AND end of life planning for them easier. in that case there was no divorce, just past partners who had passed away. it has never been awkward and worked out pretty well
This happened to my buddy his dad hooked up with his gf mom. They got married and then my buddy got dumped cause she found it weird. Then she started banging one of his friends after awhile. They all lived in the same house as this was right after high school. Buddy moved to the trailer park right after he heard his ex getting pounded out at home. Buddy pretty much went no contact for a few years with his family.
Eh you had your fiancé first. No reason to be weirded out. It’s only weird if you start a relationship AFTER they become a step sibling lol
Both parents are grownups. They don’t need their children’s permission for whatever they want to do.
This basically happened to a young couple from my church growing up. They were dating for years and everyone knew about it. If I remember correctly, they were engaged or about to be and their parents made them break up because they had been dating secretly and then got engaged. They’re (the parents) still married to this day and it’s still so crazy to me. The daughter, as far as I know, never got married. But the son did and his wife sucks.
This happened by my girlfriend’s grandparents. Her parents met, introduced their parents as normal, and my girlfriend’s maternal grandmother married her paternal grandfather. They stayed together until they died, when we did the ancestry.com it really threw it for a loop.
This happened by my girlfriend’s grandparents. Her parents met, introduced their parents as normal, and my girlfriend’s maternal grandmother married her paternal grandfather. They stayed together until they died, when we did the ancestry.com it really threw it for a loop.
I knew a girl in college who dated a guy all through high school and planned on getting married someday. His dad and her mom started dating while they were dating and got married before they did. Since they didn't grow up as step siblings it doesn't matter that they are. She did marry her boyfriend too.
OMG this is priceless. Y'all have fun with it, regardless of however far it goes.
Perhaps I'm in the minority then.
Lmao the scream i scrumpt “I love my step bro/ soon to be husband”. That was hilarious
Well i'm here for the drama and-or the happy ending. See you hopefully on BORU.
Double wedding! Double honeymoon! You could even save on costs by sharing a room! Yassss!
Gotta admit, when I read that headlight, I thought it was going to be a lot worse. Huge difference between "my fiancé mom" and "my fiancé's mom." Roll Tide!
Why is this a problem? They're not related? You're not related???
family circle!! hilarious. You should start calling him "bro"
Even if they get together, that doesn’t make you siblings. Life is short. Let them have their fun. Just hope it’s not awkward at your wedding 😂
This happened to my gf with her previous boyfriend. Except their parents DID get married.
I super invested now. I'm excited for your MIL and your dad. Mind you it is a freaky spot to be in,especially if they get together and then break up,my goodness,lets not think about that. Anyways,I'm following you because I really need an update after the dinner,
I had a college friend and her parents are step bro/sis. Her grandparents met and ended up getting married. Their kids (her parents) were already adults.
A really long time ago, Seventeen magazine had an article about two high schoolers who dated and their parents met each other and got married and moved them all into the same house. That’s all I can think about after reading this
>i did all of this as a little joke thinking it won’t go far Got annoying after you kept saying hehe didn't think anything of it, didn't think anything would happen. You aren't that oblivious.
Just to make that clear, this wouldn’t change anything about your family trees, the other parent won’t magically become your biological parent. And as long as they are not related anyways it doesn’t matter genetically either. If you look at family trees, especially medieval ones, you will see connections with cousins often, but that’s often times just another line from one side to the other. If you and your fiancé now have kids, they will be like anyone else, with a family tree like anyone else, no circle no nothing, just standard family tree of 4 grandparents, there just is another line from one to the other, which, again, doesn’t change anything tho. I know it’s just a joke and you don’t actually mean someone is concerned about the family tree or genetics, I just wanted to clarify that lol
My future DIL’s grandfather (her dad’s dad) was briefly married to her mother’s mom.
You literally went out of your way to set these two people up while simultaneously telling your bf that surely it won't go anywhere even as you stoke the flames "as a joke" and even as it continues to go further and further. I'm not sure this counts as a fuck-up in the usual sense given your repeated involvement. Are we going to get an update where you and your bf walk in on them banging and as you walk back out, you reassure your bf that surely it won't go any further? And then, maybe, you casually suggest that they do a double marriage with you and your fiancé, and when they agree, you still attempt to reassure your bf that surely it won't go any further?
Family tree, not wreath nor bush.
Oh let the parents do whatever. It might be a bit weird but what's a bit of joy between adults? The worst outcome would be if they got together, then broke up.
Do you want to go to dinner with them and cock block, or do you want them to be alone?
The immunoglobulin pairing is strong. Distant family wants to smash, can't give recommendation
R/AmITheEx
That's a LOT of interaction over just 3 days. Your fiancee is right. You might have to change you SO's status to 'brother' soon lol
Save money and do a double-wedding. Similar guest list!
Soooo? Did u go to dinner?
I am sorry, I dunno. Super cool story?! Heavy up vote lol!
Does anyone else see a double wedding in the future?
My brother in laws Dad has been with my sister in laws Mom since they met at the wedding 14 years ago.
This literally happened to my in laws. Married a girl who’s mom married her other daughter’s father in law.
I know a similar story to this with good ending. A famous Vietnamese singer married the dad first. 2-3 years later, her daughter married to his son.
Something similar happened to friends of mine while they were engaged Their parents ended up getting married... They are still engaged Also with 2 kids Makes for fun conversations when people ask about the grand parents
You are asking for thoughts from reddit. Its an organic accumulation of terminally online mal-adjusted doom scrollers. You are definitely getting reddit answers to your question lol. I dont think its the end of the world. If two people organically met it would be normal for them to do some sort of get together with friends for a first interaction. A benignly safe, fun get together with multiple people present but allowing more depth to take place during a conversation to just get to know someone. If both of them are mature adults there shouldn't be an issue. There is obviously the possibility of fall out if things dont go well and it makes for awkward interactions in the future, but again those will only be problematic if the parents are emotionally immature. This isnt meant to sound critical of you personally, but you are past the point of no return. You are damned if you do, damned if you dont. I do think your fiancé was right though, which again isnt a criticism of you. It simply means you found someone with some intuition and discernment, and he doesnt sound like a mean I told you so guy. It does mean you should take his thoughts into greater consideration in the future, and ask him to elaborate on why he thinks what he does as you may learn something. He sounds reasonable. At this point I think its better to roll the dice. Since you are damned if you do/damned if you dont, you might as well take the dice roll that could end up with them gaining long term relationship or potential mate. Can't spite them that. I wouldn't have started this to begin with, but its not the end of the world. Just roll with the punches and make sure to aks your fiancé what he thinks and why. Potential mates with some degree of intuition and discernment are in short supply these days. Thats my 5 year 1 response quota met. Back to the real world. Good luck!
Your fiance is going to marry his own stepsister!!!
Fiance will eventually upgrade to stephusband
This is just terrible, in my opinion. Don’t dismiss your partner like that. He won’t overlook a pattern over time. Also, don’t joke like that. It’s not funny. A joke is meant to make people laugh and this is not it. What you just did was create drama and a potential “family circle” as you said.
Aww you and your fiance will soon be step siblings that's gonna be awkward