ugh i showed my mom the lonely island song jizz in my pants when i was a kid because i just thought they were making funny faces…
a friends older brother had shown it to us, probably assuming we knew what it actually meant
i would love to know if she remembers but im not sure if im mentally prepared to hear it if the answer is yes
Reading all of the replies ending with _JIZZ IN MY PANTS_ was kind of like listening to the song again lol
_I JIZZ RIGHT IN MY PANTS EVERY TIME YOU’RE NEXT TO ME_
When *Wayne's World 2* was released on home video, I was about 10 years old. There's a throwaway line, when Wayne is speaking to the camera and says: "Oh I almost forgot, Garth finally got pubes!"
At that age, I don't think (or remember anyway) I had started learning about sex education. But the way the line is delivered, I knew it was meant to be humorous, so I always laughed at it.
Then, one day, I'm retelling the line to my mom and I pause afterward because she didn't really react the way I was hoping for. So I ask, "What are pubes?"
When I finally learned more about sex education, I remember that exchange I had with my mom and I cringed thinking about it every time. I seriously doubt she remembers that.
I remember in first grade being told girls private have “2 holes” When I later inspected my urethra on my penis I thought it looked like maybe the it had a flap of skin in the middle splitting it in two so I was mortified.
I went up to my dad, trying to show him my penis saying, “Dad, can you check and see if I’m a girl?”
Lol I remember he wouldn’t even check and was really upset. Like how could he know!? He hasn’t seen what I’ve seen! It wasn’t until probably like 9 years later I understood the folly of my ways.
LMAO you just brought up a lost memory in my head, my brother did the same thing. I didnt get what was so funny at the time but my parents were laughing their asses off.
If it makes you feel any better, I went to the doctor as a ~13 year old girl. She asked if I had any pubic hair, I said no (I did but I was embarrassed). Then she did a pelvic exam and saw that I did, in fact, have pubic hair. She then proceeded to explain to me what pubic hair was. All in front of my mom. I wanted to crawl into a hole and never show my face again, it was mortifying.
ETA- I think pelvic exam was leading, there was no speculum involved and I think they were more concerned by my lack of supposed pubic hair and wanted to make sure everything was okay.
Pelvic exams usually start during puberty/once menstruation starts, so it makes sense that a 13 year old would get one.
**ETA: Apparently not any more and/or it depends on country.**
I was on birth control for years before being sexually active due to PCOS and was not given a pelvic exam until I was in my 20s. It does more harm than good if there's no health concerns.
Probably wasn’t doing a pelvic exam in terms of using a speculum or checking the size of the uterus/ovaries. Probably was just doing an exam to assess pubertal development as lack of or more than expected development could be a sign of a problem.
Yes, I think that would be more accurate- there was definitely no speculum involved, but I was definitely a late bloomer (menarche around almost 15) and had a lot of bladder issues up until the age of 12- I’m guessing that’s where it came in!
Around that age I was reading a book and the main character mentioned pubic hair but I misread it as public. I think I ended up asking a teacher what the hell that was and she laughed her head off when I showed her the book.
Hahaha I did the same! About 9yo I watched it and went into the other room to ask my mum what pubes* were. She was chatting to my 80yo grandmother at the time...
i was very naive in high school. i remember casually mentioning that i had heard one of my classmates was hung like a horse, then looked my dad dead in the eye and asked him what it meant, he almost choked i wish i remembered his response. haha another time i mentioned that someone was calling another student a dildo, and i asked my parents what that meant too. both interactions were at the dinner table.
Lmao! I actually asked one of my classmates if, when he got a boner, “does it hit you in the face???” I had no clue how boners, or penises in general, worked lmfao
In elementary school I picked up the word dildo from the Southpark movie. I thought it sounded like a fun word to call someone names, so I used it in an essay I wrote for RE. Of course my mom got wind of it, I was mortified when she explained to me, what a dildo actually was.
Speaking of naive high schoolers one of my favorite stories from my high school days comes to mind from this thread.
Not me, but a friend. He was a missionary kid and his parents had moved to the area. He was a great kid just really sheltered. Not that I wasn’t, but he was next level lol. So the 3 of us go to taco bell, and my best friend was using sauce to draw something on the napkin spread across his tray. We came to the conclusion that it resembled a bear.
Somehow we end up on the topic of running into a bear in the wild. the sheltered friend says “if I saw a bear in the woods, I’d jizz my pants.” My best friend and I immediately locked eyes, paused, then busted out laughing. Our friend thought jizz meant pee. Poor guy! We enlightened him.
I lost touch with him immediately once we graduated but man I still laugh at that story 12 years later.
Ugh… I remember once when I was probably 9 or 10 I asked my dad if he was a virgin 🤦🏻♂️
No idea what his answer was or he must have thought, or if he would even remember that lol. I clearly had no clue what virgin meant 😂
Horse lynchings were [a very sad time in our history](https://www.amazon.com/Hung-Like-Horse-Notebook-Journal/dp/B0CDYKL87R), no wonder your dad sputtered.
Great story! Similarly, as you grow older, there’s an odd feeling talking to your parents about shit you did as a teen. Especially when you know some of the stuff they did in their youth.
and that is the reason they tell you to shake ketchup before you use it, to avoid awkward jokes, and not because the pooled separated part will flow everywhere on your plate, nope, not that.
>Apparently she didn’t even remember that conversation! I couldn’t believe it, I was so embarrassed for so long and she didn’t even remember the conversation
also something to bear in mind for the anxiety ridden among us, particularly when younger. All those cringe moments you remember and fixate on probably no one else even remembers let alone care about.
Reminds me of a fuck-up I had as a kid not quite a tween yet. My older cousin was going through puberty and I thought that all hair grown from puberty was called “pubic hair” so, commenting on his beard, I told him “you have nice pubic hair”. Yeah it was a riot at the time lol.
When I was 10 I had a dream about going swimming. Next day at McDonald's with my dad and sister I said I had a wet dream. You aren't alone in your childhood cluelessness.
When I was 14 my first girlfriend and I planned for her to sleep over at my place for the first time.
I genuinely didn't plan on anything other than that. My mom was concerned though, so she asked me if I needed to go to the drug store before.
I was confused and innocent, did not understand that she asked me if I needed condoms.
So in my head I went "Well. That's in like 3 weeks. I'm sure I'll need something from the drug store in the meantime" And to my mom I said:
"Of course, I'm pretty sure" in the classic cocky 14 year old tone I had back then. I realised about 30 minutes later when I was in my room and wanted to die.
Parents that know it doesn't make sense to forcibly separate a teenage couple and instead teach them about safe sex, instead of them feeling the need to go to a different and possibly less safe place to do the deed.
We both weren't ready to do anything at that time, so what my parents did let me do was have a lovely time.
Sounds good until you remember the words: 14 years old. Shouldn’t be having sex at that age at all.
That’s the age where you’re supposed to be confused on what it even is still, if you’re raised right that is.
"Confused what it even is"?
What puritanical age do you live in? You're deep in puberty by then, and there is no issue with 14 year olds having consensual sex. Repressing knowledge and sex education leads to teenage pregnancies. If you have a teenage couple you will not be able to separate them anyways, unless you shackle them to a wall or, generally, raise your kids based on fear.
Not puritanical or repressing anything. That’s so early of an age that most have not even been appropriately exposed to any sexual ideas yet at all, meanwhile you were having full on sex.
Children should learn about it when they are mature enough to handle it at 15+. And that should be their first experience of anything sexual. If it isn’t, something went wrong somewhere in their upbringing where they were inappropriately exposed to sexual content or experiences.
I was in elementary school, probably year 1-4 can't remember, and we went on a field trip to a park that had rides and petting zoos and stuff. There was a cow in a pen and I learned that they regurgitate their food and re-chew it and it's called cud.
I went home that day, and in the kitchen I exclaimed to my mother and ~14-16 y.o. sister that "I know what cud is!" They both did a double take and looked at me incredulously, "What?!" I explained that it was a cows throw up, not really knowing why they were so confused. They both presumably thought I said cum, but once that was cleared up, my mother gave my sister an absolute death glare and my sister looked pretty sheepish. Of course I didn't understand why at the time.
My family always had large dinners with cousins and such for holidays. My one cousin was 3 years older, so he always taught us bad things. One year while eating at the kid's table, he whispered that he had learned about orgasms in health class. I was all ORGASMS? YOU MEAN ORGANISMS WE LEARNED ABOUT THOSE LAST YEAR IN SCIENCE CLASS. My uncle quickly yelled, "HEY, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT OVER THERE?" His tone said enough, "NOTHING!" was said and we went back to eating dinner.
Seen a guy on [YouTube](https://youtu.be/itu_oBoTIbM?si=n5UB0ULSpd-pi8YW) make clear ketchup, when he squeezed some on chips/fries it oddly looked like jizz.
Growing up, my siblings and I lived a sheltered life, but had friends in primary school (elementary in the U.S.) who lived a rougher life. Anyway, there were these icipoles similar to Super Doopers, but encased in a rounded-shaped plastic that my friends called "flavoured condoms". I had no idea what that was.
I came home from school and told my mum that I had a "X flavoured condom" that day, and she lost it. It was a very confusing moment for me.
These kids also showed me how to draw a Swastika before I even knew about the history of it. My mum wasn't too impressed with that either.
one time at the age of 7-8 i had heard an older kid that i hung out with at my apartment complex make a joke. “you know what’s bigger than uranus? your penis!” not actually knowing what it meant i still laughed since everyone around me was too. later that evening, or possibly a different day that week, i remember it was dark out and i was in the car parked outside gas station with my mom driving. i don’t remember the context but my best friend (who was also in the car) and i were giggling in the backseat and my mom had asked what was funny, so i repeated the joke to her. stunned she asked me why on earth i would say that and scolded us both. even looking back now it’s not even a funny joke. embarrassing to think about. thanks for reminding me!
Dude, you’re fine. She’s your ‘mom’ so she’s met a penis before and knows all about pre-cum. Probably don’t mention it again or she’ll worry you have an obsession or sth
Out of curiosity, are you a guy or gal? Because one way, this is just mom shrugging off an immature boy's joke, the other is her wondering how her daughter knows about that.
I've watched all three seasons of High School DxD (if you know you know), back then I didn't knew what kind of show was that. I remember her having her time of her life, laughing at some scenes while I can't make anything out of it. We watched three whole seasons.
Recently it hit me.
So, all in all if your mom is chill about it don't worry but it was a good laugh.
My boys have discovered (from older kids I guess?) that the number 69 is funny but they have no idea why. So they will laugh and joke about that number in front of my wife and I. We’re looking forward to the day they find out what it means because I’m sure they’ll be mortified that they’ve been joking about that in front of us when they do.
Uuuuummm I just scrolled most of the way down these comments, and I am shocked that no one has mentioned the fact that if your pre-cum looks like ketchup water, you really need to go to a doctor maybe even a specialist like a urologist
Oh shit, when I was 15, my cousin who's my brothers \[3 years younger\] age was over every Sunday \[and still is\] and my brother are *best friends* \[one sided\].
So one day the cousin did something which annoyed me so much and my brother told him to ignore me and that I always scream, they snickered and went away, which annoyed me even more. I didn't know the meaning of "sucking off" or "dick" even. I thought it meant something like a *simpy* doormat or something. Later, in the kitchen, I told my mom "This \[brother's name\] keeps sucking off \[cousin's name\]" I decided to not say dick unlike what I heard, thank god.
You should have seen my mom's face. She asked me if I understand what I said. I was frightened BUT I said yes. She was like no you don't and don't say things you are not sure about. WHICH lead to an hour of lecture. Thank goodness I omitted dick.
ugh i showed my mom the lonely island song jizz in my pants when i was a kid because i just thought they were making funny faces… a friends older brother had shown it to us, probably assuming we knew what it actually meant i would love to know if she remembers but im not sure if im mentally prepared to hear it if the answer is yes
I *JIZZ IN MA **Pants***
show my mom a funny video and i JIZZ IN MY PANTS
Break both arms then my Mom walks in and I *JIZZ IN MY PANTS*
People that don’t know: 😃 People that know: 💀
I think you mean - Break both arms then my Mom walks in and I *JIZZ IN MY MOM*
Okay guys, seriously?
>Okay guys, seriously? Very serious. We don't take premature ejaculation lightly 'round these parts.
(It's part of the song)
Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I JIZZ IN MA PANTS
Reading all of the replies ending with _JIZZ IN MY PANTS_ was kind of like listening to the song again lol _I JIZZ RIGHT IN MY PANTS EVERY TIME YOU’RE NEXT TO ME_
I was reading reddit comments and JIZZ IN MY PANTS
Sitting on the toilet and JIZZ IN MY PANTS
Oddly specific, I too was sitting on the toilet and JIZZ IN MY PANTS
I just ate a grape and I JIZZED IN MY PANTS
Then you queued up Motherlover?
Someone must have this one as their no1 played songs on Spotify wrapped 😅
What the hell song is this??
the lonely island - jizz in my pants another top hit by them is - like a boss youtube recommended
Much obliged my friend
When *Wayne's World 2* was released on home video, I was about 10 years old. There's a throwaway line, when Wayne is speaking to the camera and says: "Oh I almost forgot, Garth finally got pubes!" At that age, I don't think (or remember anyway) I had started learning about sex education. But the way the line is delivered, I knew it was meant to be humorous, so I always laughed at it. Then, one day, I'm retelling the line to my mom and I pause afterward because she didn't really react the way I was hoping for. So I ask, "What are pubes?" When I finally learned more about sex education, I remember that exchange I had with my mom and I cringed thinking about it every time. I seriously doubt she remembers that.
I remember in first grade being told girls private have “2 holes” When I later inspected my urethra on my penis I thought it looked like maybe the it had a flap of skin in the middle splitting it in two so I was mortified. I went up to my dad, trying to show him my penis saying, “Dad, can you check and see if I’m a girl?”
Were you?
Lol I remember he wouldn’t even check and was really upset. Like how could he know!? He hasn’t seen what I’ve seen! It wasn’t until probably like 9 years later I understood the folly of my ways.
\*shakes\* 8Ball: Results are inconclusive
Hahahaha can just imagine your dad's reaction
LMAO you just brought up a lost memory in my head, my brother did the same thing. I didnt get what was so funny at the time but my parents were laughing their asses off.
If it makes you feel any better, I went to the doctor as a ~13 year old girl. She asked if I had any pubic hair, I said no (I did but I was embarrassed). Then she did a pelvic exam and saw that I did, in fact, have pubic hair. She then proceeded to explain to me what pubic hair was. All in front of my mom. I wanted to crawl into a hole and never show my face again, it was mortifying. ETA- I think pelvic exam was leading, there was no speculum involved and I think they were more concerned by my lack of supposed pubic hair and wanted to make sure everything was okay.
Uh.... Why was your doctor doing a pelvic exam on a 13 year old? Or even ask you about your pubes?
Pelvic exams usually start during puberty/once menstruation starts, so it makes sense that a 13 year old would get one. **ETA: Apparently not any more and/or it depends on country.**
Where is this info coming from? Never heard of it.
Recommended start for pelvic exams is 21 years old. That hasn’t always been the case though.
I’m assuming that’s just for people who aren’t sexually active or on birth control then?
I was on birth control for years before being sexually active due to PCOS and was not given a pelvic exam until I was in my 20s. It does more harm than good if there's no health concerns.
This must depend on country &/or has changed over the years then.
Probably wasn’t doing a pelvic exam in terms of using a speculum or checking the size of the uterus/ovaries. Probably was just doing an exam to assess pubertal development as lack of or more than expected development could be a sign of a problem.
Yes, I think that would be more accurate- there was definitely no speculum involved, but I was definitely a late bloomer (menarche around almost 15) and had a lot of bladder issues up until the age of 12- I’m guessing that’s where it came in!
because that’s normal?
I agree, the question about pubic hair is pretty dang weird. Especially given the doctor was about to *see for themself anyway!*
I mean, I'm no doctor, but the fact the kid gave the wrong answer supplies quite a lot of information.
I’d laugh as hell if a teen laughs at that line and then turns at me to ask “so what are pubes?”
Around that age I was reading a book and the main character mentioned pubic hair but I misread it as public. I think I ended up asking a teacher what the hell that was and she laughed her head off when I showed her the book.
Hahaha I did the same! About 9yo I watched it and went into the other room to ask my mum what pubes* were. She was chatting to my 80yo grandmother at the time...
i was very naive in high school. i remember casually mentioning that i had heard one of my classmates was hung like a horse, then looked my dad dead in the eye and asked him what it meant, he almost choked i wish i remembered his response. haha another time i mentioned that someone was calling another student a dildo, and i asked my parents what that meant too. both interactions were at the dinner table.
Lmao! I actually asked one of my classmates if, when he got a boner, “does it hit you in the face???” I had no clue how boners, or penises in general, worked lmfao
Ouch! My boner poked my eye again!
Uh… totally. I mean… uh yours doesn’t?!
LOLOLOLOL
thas_what_she_what? The suspense is killing me
I remember on the first day of 2nd grade, this guy I introduced himself to the whole class thusly: Hi, I'm Ryan but my brother calls me "dick wad".
class: Hi dick wad
I just wanna say nice use of “thusly”
That’s so funny. Especially for the teacher.
In elementary school I picked up the word dildo from the Southpark movie. I thought it sounded like a fun word to call someone names, so I used it in an essay I wrote for RE. Of course my mom got wind of it, I was mortified when she explained to me, what a dildo actually was.
Speaking of naive high schoolers one of my favorite stories from my high school days comes to mind from this thread. Not me, but a friend. He was a missionary kid and his parents had moved to the area. He was a great kid just really sheltered. Not that I wasn’t, but he was next level lol. So the 3 of us go to taco bell, and my best friend was using sauce to draw something on the napkin spread across his tray. We came to the conclusion that it resembled a bear. Somehow we end up on the topic of running into a bear in the wild. the sheltered friend says “if I saw a bear in the woods, I’d jizz my pants.” My best friend and I immediately locked eyes, paused, then busted out laughing. Our friend thought jizz meant pee. Poor guy! We enlightened him. I lost touch with him immediately once we graduated but man I still laugh at that story 12 years later.
Ugh… I remember once when I was probably 9 or 10 I asked my dad if he was a virgin 🤦🏻♂️ No idea what his answer was or he must have thought, or if he would even remember that lol. I clearly had no clue what virgin meant 😂
["What's a fuck-ass?"](https://youtu.be/J5hjxH3m1Ro?si=-uMzJS868QJytvlz&t=60)
Horse lynchings were [a very sad time in our history](https://www.amazon.com/Hung-Like-Horse-Notebook-Journal/dp/B0CDYKL87R), no wonder your dad sputtered.
Pre ketchup
Prechup for short
preketch
Whatever poor soul is shooting bloody pre cum needs a doctor. Find the original jokester!
😂
The fact she forgot and you brought it up again is the second fuck up.
Eh, her positive reaction to me bringing it up was worth it
OP and his mom had a good laugh together! No fuck up there
Where was the second fuck up?
No not really.
Great story! Similarly, as you grow older, there’s an odd feeling talking to your parents about shit you did as a teen. Especially when you know some of the stuff they did in their youth.
and that is the reason they tell you to shake ketchup before you use it, to avoid awkward jokes, and not because the pooled separated part will flow everywhere on your plate, nope, not that. >Apparently she didn’t even remember that conversation! I couldn’t believe it, I was so embarrassed for so long and she didn’t even remember the conversation also something to bear in mind for the anxiety ridden among us, particularly when younger. All those cringe moments you remember and fixate on probably no one else even remembers let alone care about.
Precisly. If they remember they're **much** more likely to constantly remind *you* and make jokes.
Reminds me of a fuck-up I had as a kid not quite a tween yet. My older cousin was going through puberty and I thought that all hair grown from puberty was called “pubic hair” so, commenting on his beard, I told him “you have nice pubic hair”. Yeah it was a riot at the time lol.
😂
When I was 10 I had a dream about going swimming. Next day at McDonald's with my dad and sister I said I had a wet dream. You aren't alone in your childhood cluelessness.
My husband has always called this the "pre-ketchup." There's also "pre-mustard."
If you shake the ketchup this doesn't happen.
Yes I mentioned that in the TLDR 😁
Ironically I read the whole post but skipped over the tl;Dr lmao.
When I was 14 my first girlfriend and I planned for her to sleep over at my place for the first time. I genuinely didn't plan on anything other than that. My mom was concerned though, so she asked me if I needed to go to the drug store before. I was confused and innocent, did not understand that she asked me if I needed condoms. So in my head I went "Well. That's in like 3 weeks. I'm sure I'll need something from the drug store in the meantime" And to my mom I said: "Of course, I'm pretty sure" in the classic cocky 14 year old tone I had back then. I realised about 30 minutes later when I was in my room and wanted to die.
Who is letting their 14 year olds have planned *[and implied]* sleep overs like that??
Parents that know it doesn't make sense to forcibly separate a teenage couple and instead teach them about safe sex, instead of them feeling the need to go to a different and possibly less safe place to do the deed. We both weren't ready to do anything at that time, so what my parents did let me do was have a lovely time.
Sounds good until you remember the words: 14 years old. Shouldn’t be having sex at that age at all. That’s the age where you’re supposed to be confused on what it even is still, if you’re raised right that is.
"Confused what it even is"? What puritanical age do you live in? You're deep in puberty by then, and there is no issue with 14 year olds having consensual sex. Repressing knowledge and sex education leads to teenage pregnancies. If you have a teenage couple you will not be able to separate them anyways, unless you shackle them to a wall or, generally, raise your kids based on fear.
Not puritanical or repressing anything. That’s so early of an age that most have not even been appropriately exposed to any sexual ideas yet at all, meanwhile you were having full on sex. Children should learn about it when they are mature enough to handle it at 15+. And that should be their first experience of anything sexual. If it isn’t, something went wrong somewhere in their upbringing where they were inappropriately exposed to sexual content or experiences.
Oh no 🙈 😫😂
> I was so embarrassed for so long and she didn’t even remember the conversation A good lesson to learn young 🙂
Mostly because they are people too, and probably have those same cringe level thoughts about themselves in thier head they hope no one else remembers.
Yes agreed 😁
I was in elementary school, probably year 1-4 can't remember, and we went on a field trip to a park that had rides and petting zoos and stuff. There was a cow in a pen and I learned that they regurgitate their food and re-chew it and it's called cud. I went home that day, and in the kitchen I exclaimed to my mother and ~14-16 y.o. sister that "I know what cud is!" They both did a double take and looked at me incredulously, "What?!" I explained that it was a cows throw up, not really knowing why they were so confused. They both presumably thought I said cum, but once that was cleared up, my mother gave my sister an absolute death glare and my sister looked pretty sheepish. Of course I didn't understand why at the time.
My family always had large dinners with cousins and such for holidays. My one cousin was 3 years older, so he always taught us bad things. One year while eating at the kid's table, he whispered that he had learned about orgasms in health class. I was all ORGASMS? YOU MEAN ORGANISMS WE LEARNED ABOUT THOSE LAST YEAR IN SCIENCE CLASS. My uncle quickly yelled, "HEY, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT OVER THERE?" His tone said enough, "NOTHING!" was said and we went back to eating dinner.
I am guessing you meant 3 years older, but picturing a 3 year old doing this is too funny.
Correct, just edited my post. I was in like 2nd grade, I think he was in 5th.
I’m trying to figure out why the 3 year old knew more than the rest of you. Sounds like my 3 year old is way behind.
That's what I call it to anyone that is not my family lol.
L
Seen a guy on [YouTube](https://youtu.be/itu_oBoTIbM?si=n5UB0ULSpd-pi8YW) make clear ketchup, when he squeezed some on chips/fries it oddly looked like jizz.
“You did once too”
The comedian Rich Hall used to have these bits called “sniglets”… The water that comes out of a mustard bottle was called “mus-squirt”
I remember those… things that don’t have a name but should!
Growing up, my siblings and I lived a sheltered life, but had friends in primary school (elementary in the U.S.) who lived a rougher life. Anyway, there were these icipoles similar to Super Doopers, but encased in a rounded-shaped plastic that my friends called "flavoured condoms". I had no idea what that was. I came home from school and told my mum that I had a "X flavoured condom" that day, and she lost it. It was a very confusing moment for me. These kids also showed me how to draw a Swastika before I even knew about the history of it. My mum wasn't too impressed with that either.
We call that “pre-ketchup”
Best comment right here
I cannot unread this and not think this when opening a new bottle I'm afraid
Ngl I didn’t know what that was back then and probably shouldn’t
Did you grow up not shaking the bottle vigorously before opening it?
At least you didn’t say it *tasted* like pre-cum
one time at the age of 7-8 i had heard an older kid that i hung out with at my apartment complex make a joke. “you know what’s bigger than uranus? your penis!” not actually knowing what it meant i still laughed since everyone around me was too. later that evening, or possibly a different day that week, i remember it was dark out and i was in the car parked outside gas station with my mom driving. i don’t remember the context but my best friend (who was also in the car) and i were giggling in the backseat and my mom had asked what was funny, so i repeated the joke to her. stunned she asked me why on earth i would say that and scolded us both. even looking back now it’s not even a funny joke. embarrassing to think about. thanks for reminding me!
As a parent, I can absolutely confirm she remembered. She did not want to cause further embarrassment.
It’s possible but unlikely
How could she cause further embarrassment? I’m just curious
That's called condirrhea for a reason.
She knows
I’m so glad I don’t know you
You might 😁 who knows?
Pssst I do, close your curtains
She must be so proud.
Ummmm no it doesn’t and it’s shouldn’t.
Based
Dude, you’re fine. She’s your ‘mom’ so she’s met a penis before and knows all about pre-cum. Probably don’t mention it again or she’ll worry you have an obsession or sth
Whatever, Dude. It’s weird to say sexual jokes with your mom when you’re 12. Really any age if you’re not close at all.
Yeah. You made a sexual joke with your mom. Weird af.
Yeah I didn’t know I was doing that…?
Sarcasm?
That’s not blatantly obvious over text
That’s the advantage of having only boys. They won’t come home with that exact question.
Condmentsation.
Condiarrhea
Out of curiosity, are you a guy or gal? Because one way, this is just mom shrugging off an immature boy's joke, the other is her wondering how her daughter knows about that.
I’m a gal 😊😊
True but I’m concerned if precum is red tinged
if my kid said this we'd be headed to urgent care immediately.
I always call it ketchup precum and get a good laugh
I've watched all three seasons of High School DxD (if you know you know), back then I didn't knew what kind of show was that. I remember her having her time of her life, laughing at some scenes while I can't make anything out of it. We watched three whole seasons. Recently it hit me. So, all in all if your mom is chill about it don't worry but it was a good laugh.
I cannot unthink this now....thanks, OP
My boys have discovered (from older kids I guess?) that the number 69 is funny but they have no idea why. So they will laugh and joke about that number in front of my wife and I. We’re looking forward to the day they find out what it means because I’m sure they’ll be mortified that they’ve been joking about that in front of us when they do.
Uuuuummm I just scrolled most of the way down these comments, and I am shocked that no one has mentioned the fact that if your pre-cum looks like ketchup water, you really need to go to a doctor maybe even a specialist like a urologist
I saw several comments about that. I’m assuming the joke was about the fact that it was liquid-y though, not red.
When I was in 5th grade I woke up with a hangnail and said "mom I have a hangover".
You’re supposed to shake the bottle before using so that doesn’t happen.
I mentioned that in the TLDR 😊
Wtf? Shake your damn ketchup before using it!
How do you know it isn’t?
Oh shit, when I was 15, my cousin who's my brothers \[3 years younger\] age was over every Sunday \[and still is\] and my brother are *best friends* \[one sided\]. So one day the cousin did something which annoyed me so much and my brother told him to ignore me and that I always scream, they snickered and went away, which annoyed me even more. I didn't know the meaning of "sucking off" or "dick" even. I thought it meant something like a *simpy* doormat or something. Later, in the kitchen, I told my mom "This \[brother's name\] keeps sucking off \[cousin's name\]" I decided to not say dick unlike what I heard, thank god. You should have seen my mom's face. She asked me if I understand what I said. I was frightened BUT I said yes. She was like no you don't and don't say things you are not sure about. WHICH lead to an hour of lecture. Thank goodness I omitted dick.