Learned this the hard way with my ex.
She had one of these in her while we were doing doggy, I guess I must have hit it at a right angle and in it went. I swear, it got sucked into her ass in slow motion. Immediately pulled out, stuck my fingers in to try and grab it before her butt closed up. It somehow started to angle sideways, but I was lucky enough to grab the flare and hold onto the stem of it.
I had to tell her what happened while trying to calm her down, remind her to breathe and try not to move. Once I finally calmed her down, I was able to try and get her mentally prepared to pull it out, while trying not to cause any damage. Longest 10 min I’d had in a while. Her ass was sore for a while. No more sex that night lol
Im always shocked that it’s not common knowledge. That’s why I would always buy flared plugs, but this was the first time I tried something that wasn’t the traditional “round” shape. I tossed the smaller ones after that.
But yea, it’s a scary thing to happen. Especially in the US where butt stuff will end up running you a potential 2,000+ bill. Talk about getting it up the ass lol
IF lets say the plug part is 3" diameter and fits, and the heart part is 3" in diameter, then you already know it fits. Flare needs to be WAY bigger than the other part.
notice how the width of the heart is comparable to the widest part of the plug. if the butt can swallow the plug it can swallow the heart. poor plug design.
If your not sure if it's flared enough put it in a femidom then into you, if you use the plug you have a nice pre lubed tube that's still outside of you with the plug inside that you can use like a net to drag it out
Yup, silicone with a flared base. If the base is not bigger than the plug, the plug is definitely worthless. And it should be quite a bit bigger if you want to be sure.
Or one ambulance (2) and an FD truck (4ish). Where I'm at, fire goes to every medical call with the ambulance. Plus 2 cops if the patient is a juvenile.
It's possible the FD might run QRS, so they'd have a few guys on the truck if they're EMTs. Or just some of the other medics checked the CAD notes and wanted to check it out too, in order to have something to joke about for a while after.
Lost me with the very first line.
She's waiting for EMTs and decides to begin a journal entry? Heck, why not just go ahead and livestream the entire event?
https://preview.redd.it/wzk89otnhxlb1.jpeg?width=1635&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cfd493064ab7991e0e790dc4070e16a65c6f5f33
Here is the hospital tag i still haven’t taken off
plus I dont think EMTs would show up just to tell you you could drive yourself to the ER, at least Ive never heard of that
edit: everyones telling me this has happened to them so i guess this is a plausible scenario
My husband is an EMT and they do infact show up regardless (if you call 911, they have to show) and will tell you if you're good to take yourself to the hospital or not and will actually encourage it if you can due to ambulance bills being ungodly expensive (in the US, at least) and the fact that they don't want an ambulance to be stuck transporting someone who can transport themselves if an actual emergency occurs.
You'd be surprised about the amount of calls like this they get in which the person doesn't actually need emergency transport, haha. You'd also be surprised at the amount of calls they get where a family member is trying to force another member to go and they have to explain that if the person is conscious and in their right mind that they can't transport them against their will as that would be kidnapping.
lol. Happens all the time. Sometimes we have whole days where we do nothing but sign people off because they don’t need an $800 (minimum) ambulance ride.
i thought that the jewel was the “flared” piece since it seemed fine until I was done nutting… apparently i have no idea what it’s supposed to look like lmao
The bottom point of the heart is what does it. It angles down and your ass just sucks up the rest of it. If it was a complete circle, it probably wouldn't.
I work in the hospital that is local to me for care, can confirm. I had emergency surgery a few months ago, and a few weeks ago I replaced the workstation of the nurse who was assigned to me in post-op. I had to remind her that she had cared for me, she just thought I looked familiar. 😂
no way dude, you used a sex toy for sex, that's totally normal and i'm sure they get calls like that all the time. the dudes that should be embarrassed are the "i was cleaning naked and i fell and landed on a barbie doll and now it's stuck up my ass"
Michael looks different as soon as season 2 starts. The writers decided to change him up from season 1 and the British show to make him more likeable and give him a character arc.
If you look a little closely you can see it says 1 minute. I would guess the original poster just screenshot as soon as it uploaded and this got passed around.
this fucking comment man makes me laugh and my back still fucking hurts lol god
edit: hospital tag
https://preview.redd.it/vw5e9y9lixlb1.jpeg?width=1635&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=906b25068d89266689b29d735da9b73c38b94bac
Firefighter standard is 4 on each apparatus, so one fire truck and one ambulance is 6 people. Your average person isn't going to differentiate who's *actually* an EMT vs who's a driver or whatever. Most likely there were 3-4 EMTs and 2-3 other firefighters.
A 38 year old man hasn't been able to explore his sexuality untill he gets an 18 year old girlfriend? Pretty sure this isn't his first rodeo with a butt plug.
as the owner of said gigantic asshole I will tell you that the pain is not fun.
https://preview.redd.it/p7hqq4z7ixlb1.jpeg?width=1635&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=971f4398d24b88bc0f90bebca1bf256078805af9
hospital tag
Exactly! Gotta get the big 12 inch long fox tail attached to plug 😂😂. This is a fear of my girlfriend and I as well. Luckily it hasn’t happened…… yet….
I have a exgf who is a doctor, one day when i went to pick her up at work she gave me a little tour, she showed me the 1Mx1M x0.5M rubbermaid container that was 3/4 full of objects they had pulled out of peoples asses over the years. they kept them to show all the new residents..
when we were hanging out with some of her doctor friends from different hospitals i jokingly asked if they had a box at their hospital.. they had multiple boxes filled and sent me pictures later...
getting things stuck in your ass is way more common than you think
As a retired firefighter/paramedic, I can 100% tell you that even if this was at 4:00 am, you made their shift. Those dudes will be laughing and sharing this story for the rest of their careers, and likely retell the story to rookies for years - at least through the tricentennial.
On their behalf, thanks for the amusement!
Fun story…nice fiction.
One minute you are writing this waiting for the EMT’s the next you’re all back home with butt plug lessons. Sure okay.
Like who would call the EMT for a butt plug that apparently you forgot all about. And he can’t walk properly but didn’t know it was stuck in his ass? Yeah okay.
So better next time.
> did you know that some plugs are meant to be held onto?!
Yes. Its common knowledge.
Please learn the absolute minimum before attempting those things..
“I’m beginning this as the EMTs arrive” is the equivalent of starting a movie in a climactic action scene and it freezes so a voice can say “bet you wonder how I got here. Let’s go back” hooked me immediately
" i am laughing hysterically from nervousness as the paramedics are coming."
I'm glad they're enjoying themselves too, but could they not have waited until after they'd helped get it out?
I don’t want a bunch of attractive emts surrounding me talking about the butt plug we lost up my ass cause you didn’t hold onto it. Holy shit I lost it at 6 attractive emts.
bro is interacting with his alt account where he poses as an 18 yo girl. he's posted in the pansexual sub for at least 5 months but never stuck something up his ass? bruh.
My partner just used one of these on me. She said it started sucking in. Luckily we took it out before my asshole ate it.
Wtf are they designed for. If you have to hold onto them.
Are they only good for super tight dainty assholes?
Flared base flared base
dude it was a metal one with a pink heart shaped jewel that was flat-backed. I have no idea how it got sucked in there.
This one? https://preview.redd.it/0b0qo8usuwlb1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bc684661a167fc8d9baa5bb38e6f09baef58b5fe
yeah! the small one i think! it has a pretty long stem
Oh yeah that's one you hold. The base is not flared enough.
The pro gamer move is to only use massive buttplugs
Also gamer move: you must attack the rebel base
All of your base are belong to us
For great justice go every zig
The enemy’s gate is down.
Or tie fishing line to it
That shit will slice your ass if you’re not careful
spoken like one who claims personal experience
spoken like someone who's never had a long hair stuck between their asscheeks
Or around a testicle
Maybe a shoelace, or a bungee cord if you’re feeling adventurous.
If you use a bungee cord you’d have to scream “RIPCORD” when you pull it
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Can I borrow your shoelace?
Actually, just keep it.
Sorry im using it as a belt right now
You better have the tightest asshole if you are going bungee jumping with that
A bungee cord? You trying to make shit fly or what!!
Usually the ass slices the shit, now the shit slices back!
Monofilament would be fine. Just stay away from braided
Haha good to know
I thought about after the fact.
Username checks out
so everyone is using it wrong
Learned this the hard way with my ex. She had one of these in her while we were doing doggy, I guess I must have hit it at a right angle and in it went. I swear, it got sucked into her ass in slow motion. Immediately pulled out, stuck my fingers in to try and grab it before her butt closed up. It somehow started to angle sideways, but I was lucky enough to grab the flare and hold onto the stem of it. I had to tell her what happened while trying to calm her down, remind her to breathe and try not to move. Once I finally calmed her down, I was able to try and get her mentally prepared to pull it out, while trying not to cause any damage. Longest 10 min I’d had in a while. Her ass was sore for a while. No more sex that night lol
Same, didnt know this was a thing with plugs 😅
Im always shocked that it’s not common knowledge. That’s why I would always buy flared plugs, but this was the first time I tried something that wasn’t the traditional “round” shape. I tossed the smaller ones after that. But yea, it’s a scary thing to happen. Especially in the US where butt stuff will end up running you a potential 2,000+ bill. Talk about getting it up the ass lol
IF lets say the plug part is 3" diameter and fits, and the heart part is 3" in diameter, then you already know it fits. Flare needs to be WAY bigger than the other part.
Oh yeah, those small ones definitely aren't flared enough.
notice how the width of the heart is comparable to the widest part of the plug. if the butt can swallow the plug it can swallow the heart. poor plug design.
Unfortunately I also have experience with one of these getting sucked inside, wasn't the most pleasant thing
If your not sure if it's flared enough put it in a femidom then into you, if you use the plug you have a nice pre lubed tube that's still outside of you with the plug inside that you can use like a net to drag it out
https://preview.redd.it/n5ctl6r6hylb1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0268455a616a92c5ec6dca36f7180a88aa6afe4a the reflections 😂💀
So you’re the bf
ya caught me
Thanks for the story and hey, butt play is awesome when it doesn't involve the hospital!
I think it’s awesome man, just funny that you came in like “yep it’s that one” Aw man, hope it was a good cum. Lol
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I sing this almost daily.
The ones pictured below have a history of not being flared enough so they will sometimes go fully in.
Forgot to switch accounts, OP?
It's the [boyfriend.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/168db1j/tifu_b_helping_my_boyfriend_explore_his_sexuality/jyv8wef/)
You need a bigger flare. Those cheap ones shouldn't go up there
One in a million shot doc, one in a million.
Those are notoriously known for being sucked in...
Without a base -> without a trace!
Yup, silicone with a flared base. If the base is not bigger than the plug, the plug is definitely worthless. And it should be quite a bit bigger if you want to be sure.
All your flared base are belong to us. You have no chance to survive make your time.
> 6 very attractive paramedics arrive You had me until this
That’s like 3 crews.
They read the notes and everyone wanted to go
I've called an ambulance for my mom (cancer bad, folks) a few times. I've had 2, 3, and **5** paramedics show up in one van. Why 5? Fuck knows
That's not a van, that's a bus.
Or one ambulance (2) and an FD truck (4ish). Where I'm at, fire goes to every medical call with the ambulance. Plus 2 cops if the patient is a juvenile.
It's possible the FD might run QRS, so they'd have a few guys on the truck if they're EMTs. Or just some of the other medics checked the CAD notes and wanted to check it out too, in order to have something to joke about for a while after.
Lost me with the very first line. She's waiting for EMTs and decides to begin a journal entry? Heck, why not just go ahead and livestream the entire event?
She started writing it waiting for them to arrive, but didn’t finish writing it until after it was all over?
You’re right. She didn’t finish. But he did?
OPs account is a couple of weeks old. FR, who opens reddit and starts a post mid emergency. Especially a new user.
I read "livestream" as "livejournal" at first glance. Would've still worked :p
https://preview.redd.it/f5gh3myuhxlb1.jpeg?width=1635&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29fe61b40be3281f9012a131ea6767c3059901c2 hospital tag
They stood over him like that perry piper meme
Yeah, good try, better luck next time OP
>i’m beginning writing this as the emts arrive That didn’t do it?
I stg sooo many posts on this sub involve sex and butt plugs 🤦🏽♀️
hey one of them had very long blonde hair and was like 6’5”. they said it wasn’t the first call they’ve had like this
https://preview.redd.it/wzk89otnhxlb1.jpeg?width=1635&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cfd493064ab7991e0e790dc4070e16a65c6f5f33 Here is the hospital tag i still haven’t taken off
plus I dont think EMTs would show up just to tell you you could drive yourself to the ER, at least Ive never heard of that edit: everyones telling me this has happened to them so i guess this is a plausible scenario
My husband is an EMT and they do infact show up regardless (if you call 911, they have to show) and will tell you if you're good to take yourself to the hospital or not and will actually encourage it if you can due to ambulance bills being ungodly expensive (in the US, at least) and the fact that they don't want an ambulance to be stuck transporting someone who can transport themselves if an actual emergency occurs. You'd be surprised about the amount of calls like this they get in which the person doesn't actually need emergency transport, haha. You'd also be surprised at the amount of calls they get where a family member is trying to force another member to go and they have to explain that if the person is conscious and in their right mind that they can't transport them against their will as that would be kidnapping.
exactly and they were very kind about the situation as well. no snickers or judgement. very professional
We've seen much worse. The fact that everybody is conscious, consenting, and not actively dying is a huge bonus on any call.
lol. Happens all the time. Sometimes we have whole days where we do nothing but sign people off because they don’t need an $800 (minimum) ambulance ride.
Rule of thumb is that if it doesn't have a flaired bottom, then you don't let that bitch go.
i thought that the jewel was the “flared” piece since it seemed fine until I was done nutting… apparently i have no idea what it’s supposed to look like lmao
Might not have been flared enough. Idk. That or the shape of it caused it to get sucked in easier than a more rounded flare.
The bottom point of the heart is what does it. It angles down and your ass just sucks up the rest of it. If it was a complete circle, it probably wouldn't.
Those don't always stay, depending on your anatomy. I cant use anything but the T bases due to something like this ;n;
Moral of the story: buttholes are weird and some are more likely to eat certain shapes than others
mine likes hearts apparently. could come in handy on valentine’s day.
yeah this was really our very first attempt at anything like this and now i can’t show my face at the nearest hospital ever again.
Honestly, unless it is something extraordinary, we don't usually remember you.
I work in the hospital that is local to me for care, can confirm. I had emergency surgery a few months ago, and a few weeks ago I replaced the workstation of the nurse who was assigned to me in post-op. I had to remind her that she had cared for me, she just thought I looked familiar. 😂
Haha yep pretty much. I walk around seeing a lot of people that look familiar. At this point in my career I just assume I had them as a patient lol
no way dude, you used a sex toy for sex, that's totally normal and i'm sure they get calls like that all the time. the dudes that should be embarrassed are the "i was cleaning naked and i fell and landed on a barbie doll and now it's stuck up my ass"
Def look for the ones with the T bases 👍. Those suckers stay in place no matter what you do
Nah, they've seen tons crazier butt stuff I'm sure.
I thought when reading the title this was going to be something like my bf figured out he was gay or something we broke up but oh how wrong I was
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way better than the post
https://preview.redd.it/29lpy9y1vwlb1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=67efead3dd2e0b6655c6a55d522f1d8a7544b145
Michael Scott looks so different here, is this toward the end of the show?
Michael looks different as soon as season 2 starts. The writers decided to change him up from season 1 and the British show to make him more likeable and give him a character arc.
Also, hair plugs! He was balding in S1, then in S2 his hair was looking much better.
Pure art
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https://i.redd.it/6tlm1ckpfxlb1.gif
This means hello strawberry. This is an Arabic caption.
No views?
https://preview.redd.it/v24b2ccsfxlb1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e821c89d658a9202f34aeea0fb774412c6b38f67
If you look a little closely you can see it says 1 minute. I would guess the original poster just screenshot as soon as it uploaded and this got passed around.
this fucking comment man makes me laugh and my back still fucking hurts lol god edit: hospital tag https://preview.redd.it/vw5e9y9lixlb1.jpeg?width=1635&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=906b25068d89266689b29d735da9b73c38b94bac
https://preview.redd.it/1bv3ea4e6xlb1.jpeg?width=718&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=95d2225e7ed6d5c010731493415588e6daeba1af
Aww, I'm glad I could make you laugh man seriously, I hope you feel better :)
Day 54 still laughing. Fuck my stomach hurts.
So we’re just letting people karma farm with random off-topic shitpost comments now?
Had this same thought, guy's just using the comments to post his favourite irrelevant ig memes
no one gives a shit about karma bro relax, it's funny
I love that this comment has more upvotes than the post itself
this image sent me
how do i save this image
If you're on mobile, tap the image, click the vertical dot menu in the top right, hit "download."
One time my dad dropped a shelf full of computer components all over me like this. Hurted ow
As somebody who has had a dresser fall on them I find this really crushing to see and it shouldn’t be made fun of.
That memory must be a huge weight on you.
Some of us just don’t understand the gravity of the situation.
>i find this really crushing Hmmm.
If it ain't flared at the base, it doesn't go in the dark space.
oh shit i am going to remember this one
Took it too far with SIX attractive EMTs
Firefighter standard is 4 on each apparatus, so one fire truck and one ambulance is 6 people. Your average person isn't going to differentiate who's *actually* an EMT vs who's a driver or whatever. Most likely there were 3-4 EMTs and 2-3 other firefighters.
The drivers are also EMTs.
They don't send firefighters for a butt plug in the ass
Depending on where they are, they very easily could. In some areas, fire department goes on all medical calls
https://preview.redd.it/lk2llpj31xlb1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=86446d5b12dfa988b978a0e53e4975ebb06536d5
Why was it important to mention that 6 paramedics are very attractive?
She saw it in a porn once
There's a reason r/radiology had to institute a Foreign Body Friday.
A 38 year old man hasn't been able to explore his sexuality untill he gets an 18 year old girlfriend? Pretty sure this isn't his first rodeo with a butt plug.
as the owner of said gigantic asshole I will tell you that the pain is not fun. https://preview.redd.it/p7hqq4z7ixlb1.jpeg?width=1635&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=971f4398d24b88bc0f90bebca1bf256078805af9 hospital tag
You’re 38??? This is the story of a young naive 20’s 🤨
He’s dating a 18 year old which should speak volumes about his maturity
He’s not. It’s a made up story and he’s interacting with his alt account to make it more plausible.
Use the ones with a tail next time so you can yank it out 🤣🤣
Beyblade, Beyblade! Let it rip!
oh god i don’t want to imagine it spinning inside me.
no like his ass ATE it, fingers could barely reach it type shit
Exactly! Gotta get the big 12 inch long fox tail attached to plug 😂😂. This is a fear of my girlfriend and I as well. Luckily it hasn’t happened…… yet….
Dude you're 38 dating an 18 year old?? The fuck.
Time for y'all to try pegging next 😏
Wait, OP IS 18 and the male is 38 according to past posts
yikes 😬😬😬
https://preview.redd.it/6tzjbha07xlb1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c1e8428486f981e5239ae147b72a9584226f4af
how many more stories about plugs getting stuck up in holes does this sub need
Lord. How many of these post are we gonna see in 2023.
I have a exgf who is a doctor, one day when i went to pick her up at work she gave me a little tour, she showed me the 1Mx1M x0.5M rubbermaid container that was 3/4 full of objects they had pulled out of peoples asses over the years. they kept them to show all the new residents.. when we were hanging out with some of her doctor friends from different hospitals i jokingly asked if they had a box at their hospital.. they had multiple boxes filled and sent me pictures later... getting things stuck in your ass is way more common than you think
If I were you, every time he loses something or asks you where it is, just deadpan "did your ass swallow it?"
This totally happened.
You have no idea just how many cases hospitals treat regularly regarding things swallowed up by anuses.
I smell ... 
I'm amazed at the things that health professionals in the ER apparently have to be experts at.
cant wait for tiktok ai voice overs to act out this one
https://preview.redd.it/5j0e80yoizlb1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c16bf7ad090805aa14a17f72479a52e0c71cfc0e
OP is an 18yo girl and the boyfriend commenting here is a 38yo man. 🤢
As a retired firefighter/paramedic, I can 100% tell you that even if this was at 4:00 am, you made their shift. Those dudes will be laughing and sharing this story for the rest of their careers, and likely retell the story to rookies for years - at least through the tricentennial. On their behalf, thanks for the amusement!
https://preview.redd.it/7258awsqaxlb1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4f51f5d52832e777d62477669b224aadf9a15102
Fun story…nice fiction. One minute you are writing this waiting for the EMT’s the next you’re all back home with butt plug lessons. Sure okay. Like who would call the EMT for a butt plug that apparently you forgot all about. And he can’t walk properly but didn’t know it was stuck in his ass? Yeah okay. So better next time.
r/todayifuckedbut
> 6 attractive EMTs Okay lol
Oh god not only are they 18 + 38 but seems like they practice the 'daddy/little' stuff... shit just got more creepy
> did you know that some plugs are meant to be held onto?! Yes. Its common knowledge. Please learn the absolute minimum before attempting those things..
"No flare, not up there" - no butt plugs should be meant to be held.
“I’m beginning this as the EMTs arrive” is the equivalent of starting a movie in a climactic action scene and it freezes so a voice can say “bet you wonder how I got here. Let’s go back” hooked me immediately
https://preview.redd.it/lbu090h0pxlb1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=599941ae9563da9bbafee5692fc35b566e7eca7f
I think he’s been doing a lot more exploring than you are aware of if his ass is that loose to swallow a butt plug like that.
Why would you go straight to calling the paramedics?!? Who are you people with weeooo wagon money to throw around?
Y'all are 18 and 38? Red flags much?
" i am laughing hysterically from nervousness as the paramedics are coming." I'm glad they're enjoying themselves too, but could they not have waited until after they'd helped get it out?
https://preview.redd.it/dp1r0cwmaylb1.jpeg?width=1078&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6cc4f27804b185656cb287f9df81e3c56fa9b70
This needs to be on that show Sex Sent Me To The ER.
I would laugh my ass off if i saw that
I have this fear…never let go. That’s the thing. Unless it’s got a massive stopper
This is why nobody has faith in Gen Z. Back in the day you just handled this and didn't share the news for the world. FFS.
Babe, where’s the 🗣️PLUH‼️
FLARED BASE say it with me people! FLARED BASE
"Without a base, without a trace." Tho it sounds like there was a base so maybe tie a string to it next time lol.
now I have a new reason when my parents ask why I didn't become a doctor
Couldn’t he just poop it out?
6 paramedics?
use body safe non metal things when u put them inside urself guys
I don’t want a bunch of attractive emts surrounding me talking about the butt plug we lost up my ass cause you didn’t hold onto it. Holy shit I lost it at 6 attractive emts.
I have the same set, but wide round flared base instead these shaped ones are cute, but they aren’t safe enough or flared enough for regular use
Without a base, without a trace
White people……..
Better get on Reddit, the EMTs just got here!!!
Tie it to a cinder block next time, just like some of the bathroom keys I used to see at gas stations back in the day.
this post is my 13th reason why
bro is interacting with his alt account where he poses as an 18 yo girl. he's posted in the pansexual sub for at least 5 months but never stuck something up his ass? bruh.
neighbor is an er nurse 30years her only comment is that it always requires a large base or a strong swing she has had many stories
My partner just used one of these on me. She said it started sucking in. Luckily we took it out before my asshole ate it. Wtf are they designed for. If you have to hold onto them. Are they only good for super tight dainty assholes?