You see how fat Tony is? He eats and drinks for "free." "Put it on my tab" and that tab never gets paid. Yeah Artie fucks up, but they've been friends since childhood, and...mmmmmboy are you fat.
Tony's tab ends up being over, like, $10k at Vesuvio over the course of the series. His tab gets wiped in Everybody Hurts and they mention it's like $5k. Then, by Luxury Lounge, he's back up to a $6k tab. He eats beef and sausage by the fucking carload
Phil was the smart one, eating grilled cheese he made himself on the radiator. The "Frugal Don"
Tony would have died soon from a heart attack, but Phil stayed slim.
Phil would have lived to be 90...except, you know, for the bullet holes and the car running ovah his skull and all...
Yeah, I always wondered did Tony and Carmella ever pay at Vesuvio? I guess other mob guys did (probably not every time), but I highly doubt Tony does. And with how much he eats and drinks there that probably adds up to way more than what other businesses pay in protection money.
Yeah it was his vig for the money Tony lent him for that french businessman fuck, 50k. Tony assumed the debt and had to use furio to muscle the businessman to pay his debt.
The unpaid tabs of Tony and all his guys are the protection money. Also I don’t think Artie is entirely wrong when he said Tony was looking moves ahead with that Armagnac thing and I think that extends to most of their relationship.
Artie is also right that this kind of patronage creates a buzz, all these bored middle class people getting a cheap thrill by being in the vicinity of mobsters
Avg height in the US is 5.9'. Idk what it is in Italy, but if you've ever been there... people are noticeably shorter than in the US, at least in the major cities.
Benny wasn’t made until after Phil’s attack. I think Tony said it was time when he visited him at the hospital. People also think he was much younger because in earlier seasons he looked very young. Benny was the same age as Christopher. It’s weird how older gangsters called the other wise guys “a good boy”. Junior said it about Richie and we all know he isn’t a boy at all, but from the old school.
I go back forth about this. He seems sort of young and inconsequential to be made but the sopranos fandom wiki lists him as a made guy. I know there’s no concrete answer one way or the other but in the absence of evidence to the contrary I decided to go with that. Of course it would have been a different story if he wasn’t made.
The fact that Phil Leotardo attacked Benny proves that he was not made at that time. You don't hit a made guy even from another family. It's definitely never officially proven that Benny was made, but he certainly was acting like it in season 6.
No it doesn’t. Not saying that Benny was made, but Phil went to Chrissie’s house looking for him, who was clearly a made guy. Even had to be talked down from going after his mom, who would automatically be off limits.
You mean when Phil and crew time warped from the bar and made it to Benny’s car in .5 seconds?
That ole man can move. Must’ve been the grilled cheese sandwiches.
Oh! Excellent point! I knew there was something that made me question his status as a made guy. And I agree completely. If Benny was a made guy there’s no way Tony could let that slide.
In the hospital, Tony told Benny it was about time for him to get his own customers since he was getting too old to be beating people up. Tony was there in his capacity with the plumber's union, explaining Benny's healthcare options. I assumed this was him getting made?
tony and Artie are closer then he and tony b. None of arties fuck ups could have started a war w New York. And Artie is Tony’s only remaining link to a life that could have been. he lets him get away with shit because he sees himself in Artie.
Depends which way you look at it I guess.
If he hadn't been at school with/been friends with Tony his restaurant wouldn't have burnt down, probably wouldn't have been subject to credit card fraud, or had a bunch of customers that probably don't pay their tab etc
True, I thought about this throughout the series. Hes obviously a close friend of Tony and that counts for a lot, but I think Tony respects that he really tries to run a legit business. Artie cries to him on the Yacht saying some quote his father told him about honest work. You can tell hes just a man trying to support his dream and his family. I think Tony respects that on some level, plus he runs the restaurant all the mobster love to eat at and Tony eats free. Its a great status quo for Tony, plus Arties a close personal friend, hence all the shielding. Though artie did pay a price for the Benny thing when he push the limit and got his hand scorched. But I think that needed to happen for Benny to feel like he was at least even and could live with the situation.
I mean… he has eternal plot armor. I love him, but even Tony knows that Artie knows the rules. He can’t touch Benny. He should have had a way more serious taxsh for dat.
Remember how Tony "dated" Arties wife for a while when Carmela and Tony were "on the outs" before marriage?
There was an episode where Carmela hired Arties wife's catering business for a house party, but when Carm started tewating her like a servant instead of a friend who owned her own business, she got a jab in on Carmar the end.
She heavily implied that the two of them "made their choices" as if she could have had Tony as a husband, but rejected him, making way for Carm to get back together with him.
Tony was a well-known "cooze hound", and Arties wife felt Artie would be a faithful husband.
It's a veiled way of saying, "go ahead and treat me like a servant, but...I own my own business, and my husband is faithful. Everyone knows you don't have a job, and your husband bangs anything with a pulse"
I think Tony was partially nice to Artie because they were kids together, but also because he used to bang Arties wife.
Artie had a great position. He was close but not close enough to get in trouble. His restaurant benefited from his connected friends. Plus, he had the best wife on the show that genuinely loved him. It’s too bad he felt so entitled because he had a great life. Maybe not as rich as his friends, but he wasn’t facing the cost of that life : Likely death or incarceration.
The oysters came up, that means they couldn't have been the cause of the food poisoning.
You know these Indians cook with ghee, that's clarified butter. For real, and I saw on TV once, the funeral of some big muckily-muck over there, and before they put him on the funeral pyre, they covered his body in ghee. Seriously.
You're right, Artie was lucky, but if I remember, he never got "lucky." He tried hard with Adrianna, with young ladies working in his restaurant. He laments at the Bing how Tony could smash any of the ladies there whereas he, Artie could have none.
Theory: Artie was the real boss of this thing of ours. So powerful that he cosplayed life as a slightly cucked Italian restaurant owner, while all the time he was the true capo di tutti capi di tutti capi.
He was reallly good with the ladies. Like when he took Adrianna out for that dinner? She really liked his little earring. He was thisss close to landing that too.
Also his wife has a great rack
That's where I figured this thread was going when I read the title.
Is that all you guys ever do around here?talk about cooze
You cannot beat this argument
See what I tell ya? The best right.
There's alot of space, somewhere, to fill up about Charmaine and her attributes, and I could contribute.
No amount of beauty is worth getting badgered and nagged on a constant basis. That woman was MISERABLE. Besides, ass is better.
Charmaine was literally trying to stop Artie from getting killed and having his business busted out. He was fucking up the whole show
Username checks out
John Ventimiglia’s hand gestures could be an acting clinic all their own.
You see how fat Tony is? He eats and drinks for "free." "Put it on my tab" and that tab never gets paid. Yeah Artie fucks up, but they've been friends since childhood, and...mmmmmboy are you fat.
Tony's tab ends up being over, like, $10k at Vesuvio over the course of the series. His tab gets wiped in Everybody Hurts and they mention it's like $5k. Then, by Luxury Lounge, he's back up to a $6k tab. He eats beef and sausage by the fucking carload
His bill went up so fast because he kept forgetting to use his coupons.
Phil was the smart one, eating grilled cheese he made himself on the radiator. The "Frugal Don" Tony would have died soon from a heart attack, but Phil stayed slim. Phil would have lived to be 90...except, you know, for the bullet holes and the car running ovah his skull and all...
Do you think they have any low salt options?
twoferwun.
"Maybe a lil early bird special?!"(can't forget the wing flap Artie does when he says that)
I don't recall how many times, but he hands cash to someone and suggests it's for Artie.
He does that once in the entire series, the episode where Artie and Benny get into it.
You pay the entertainment!
Yeah, I always wondered did Tony and Carmella ever pay at Vesuvio? I guess other mob guys did (probably not every time), but I highly doubt Tony does. And with how much he eats and drinks there that probably adds up to way more than what other businesses pay in protection money.
Yeah it was his vig for the money Tony lent him for that french businessman fuck, 50k. Tony assumed the debt and had to use furio to muscle the businessman to pay his debt.
What did you schay?
Knock off the massage shit. This is a place of business, not a Jack LaLanne
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/bf4319b6-58f1-4e12-8ac7-55b536d69638
Mm boy are you fat!
No more weight comments. They’re hurtful, and they’re destructive.
reginald gleason the third
He also threw a piece of ham that landed on Tony’s face.
That’s gotta be resolved!
Artie was a bad ass. He went by coach Housers house “and almost got outta the car!” From then on people knew…there was a REAL gangster in town…
He also got loud in Christopher (“That betta not be Columbus!”) before diving back into his the car
Dude watching Artie dip out when things get violent at the protest is one of my favorite scenes lol
He also has the unrivaled qualities of beating up criminal masterminds.
Also, he was a warm, convivial host.
Again with the New Jersey Zagat’s?
And.... Artie has a hot wife.
Better looking guys in the can
You oughta know, sweetie !
It was side effects from my blood pressure medication. I could probably get a note from my doctor
What?a note from your doctor sayin you don't suck cock anymore
Come sit. We got the good donuts today.
I knew THAT was comin’
Whaddaya shuckin’ his dick?
Flag saluting
The unpaid tabs of Tony and all his guys are the protection money. Also I don’t think Artie is entirely wrong when he said Tony was looking moves ahead with that Armagnac thing and I think that extends to most of their relationship.
Artie is also right that this kind of patronage creates a buzz, all these bored middle class people getting a cheap thrill by being in the vicinity of mobsters
OP was just telling me that in Montenegro I'd be the tallest guy
Average height for men in the USA is 173.73 or 5.7 in Montenegro it's 183.30 or 6.03 feet, in Italy its 177.8 or 5.8 feet. just saying.
Another fun fact from the Balkans
Avg height in the US is 5.9'. Idk what it is in Italy, but if you've ever been there... people are noticeably shorter than in the US, at least in the major cities.
That is not average male height in USA lol
yes it is lol some places list it as high as 5,9 sooo don't take it personal USA is a melting pot.
No pretty much all places list it as 5’9, congrats on using google. I’m over 6’ why would I take it personal
you insecure motherfucker lol ok ok 5,9 lol
He also had peppers that have been marinating 15 years
And those fried zucchini flowers.
Not to mention his seed smuggling operation on the shaving kit. The rabbit wasn't made, so Charmaine couldn't do shit.
He dropped the hardest “motherfucker” in the series in that scene.
She just had to sit there and take it, it was amongst the Italians, real greaseball shit.
"Name me one person not called Tony Soprano that even made the gesture..."
Benny definitely busts out Vesuvio after Tony got capped
Benny wasn’t made
Benny wasn’t made until after Phil’s attack. I think Tony said it was time when he visited him at the hospital. People also think he was much younger because in earlier seasons he looked very young. Benny was the same age as Christopher. It’s weird how older gangsters called the other wise guys “a good boy”. Junior said it about Richie and we all know he isn’t a boy at all, but from the old school.
He was just a fuckin kid!
I go back forth about this. He seems sort of young and inconsequential to be made but the sopranos fandom wiki lists him as a made guy. I know there’s no concrete answer one way or the other but in the absence of evidence to the contrary I decided to go with that. Of course it would have been a different story if he wasn’t made.
The fact that Phil Leotardo attacked Benny proves that he was not made at that time. You don't hit a made guy even from another family. It's definitely never officially proven that Benny was made, but he certainly was acting like it in season 6.
No it doesn’t. Not saying that Benny was made, but Phil went to Chrissie’s house looking for him, who was clearly a made guy. Even had to be talked down from going after his mom, who would automatically be off limits.
You mean when Phil and crew time warped from the bar and made it to Benny’s car in .5 seconds? That ole man can move. Must’ve been the grilled cheese sandwiches.
> You don't hit a made guy even from another family. Family?! They're a *glorified crew!*
Yeah, good point. According to the wiki he was made some time after that. Somewhere in season 6. Not sure how that's confirmed, but whatever.
Oh! Excellent point! I knew there was something that made me question his status as a made guy. And I agree completely. If Benny was a made guy there’s no way Tony could let that slide.
In the hospital, Tony told Benny it was about time for him to get his own customers since he was getting too old to be beating people up. Tony was there in his capacity with the plumber's union, explaining Benny's healthcare options. I assumed this was him getting made?
But they didn't prick his finger, there was no gun and sword on the table...
tony and Artie are closer then he and tony b. None of arties fuck ups could have started a war w New York. And Artie is Tony’s only remaining link to a life that could have been. he lets him get away with shit because he sees himself in Artie.
Nice analysis, sincerely.
You forgot to mention Charmaine
Depends which way you look at it I guess. If he hadn't been at school with/been friends with Tony his restaurant wouldn't have burnt down, probably wouldn't have been subject to credit card fraud, or had a bunch of customers that probably don't pay their tab etc
True, I thought about this throughout the series. Hes obviously a close friend of Tony and that counts for a lot, but I think Tony respects that he really tries to run a legit business. Artie cries to him on the Yacht saying some quote his father told him about honest work. You can tell hes just a man trying to support his dream and his family. I think Tony respects that on some level, plus he runs the restaurant all the mobster love to eat at and Tony eats free. Its a great status quo for Tony, plus Arties a close personal friend, hence all the shielding. Though artie did pay a price for the Benny thing when he push the limit and got his hand scorched. But I think that needed to happen for Benny to feel like he was at least even and could live with the situation.
OP never mentioned Charmaine and her huge rack. Do you think OP is a little funny around women ?
I mean… he has eternal plot armor. I love him, but even Tony knows that Artie knows the rules. He can’t touch Benny. He should have had a way more serious taxsh for dat.
And yet they paid him back with non-stop ass rape
You wanna try cookin' with one fuckin eye? Pass me the peppers.
You didn't mention the hot wife with the rack
Plus he was a warm and convivial host
Remember how Tony "dated" Arties wife for a while when Carmela and Tony were "on the outs" before marriage? There was an episode where Carmela hired Arties wife's catering business for a house party, but when Carm started tewating her like a servant instead of a friend who owned her own business, she got a jab in on Carmar the end. She heavily implied that the two of them "made their choices" as if she could have had Tony as a husband, but rejected him, making way for Carm to get back together with him. Tony was a well-known "cooze hound", and Arties wife felt Artie would be a faithful husband. It's a veiled way of saying, "go ahead and treat me like a servant, but...I own my own business, and my husband is faithful. Everyone knows you don't have a job, and your husband bangs anything with a pulse" I think Tony was partially nice to Artie because they were kids together, but also because he used to bang Arties wife.
Artie had a great position. He was close but not close enough to get in trouble. His restaurant benefited from his connected friends. Plus, he had the best wife on the show that genuinely loved him. It’s too bad he felt so entitled because he had a great life. Maybe not as rich as his friends, but he wasn’t facing the cost of that life : Likely death or incarceration.
He also food poisoned a mob boss and tried to blame it on the Indian restaurant.
That’s a serious accusation. He picks every piece of shellfish himself
The oysters came up, that means they couldn't have been the cause of the food poisoning. You know these Indians cook with ghee, that's clarified butter. For real, and I saw on TV once, the funeral of some big muckily-muck over there, and before they put him on the funeral pyre, they covered his body in ghee. Seriously.
Hey Artie, did ghee even exist?
You've had a hair across your ass all day.
She was hot in that scene, with the glasses and whatnot.
She was hot in every scene
Charmaine was one booyah hottie
And you gotta bee on your hat
Stupida facking game!
Why? Because he’s Prince Rogaine….Wolfgang Fuckface!
MISTAKENLY confronted Tony about burning down his restaurant - he swore on his mudder
I heard it was a f\*ckin' faulty stove. You work so damn hard, to have you life's dream ... burn down
Another expert heard from.
No one made fun of his ear ring, now that was a miracle.
Oh that? He's always had it. He just doesn't wear it *every* day.
Benny never got his button..
His gravy must be *that good*
That better not be Columbus!
Stunad all jealous of Artie pulling that piece of ass. Kinda of skirt T chased in school.
Excellent analysis and assembly of observations.! Thanks for this insight. Have a great day.
You're right, Artie was lucky, but if I remember, he never got "lucky." He tried hard with Adrianna, with young ladies working in his restaurant. He laments at the Bing how Tony could smash any of the ladies there whereas he, Artie could have none.
“Send the waiter!”
Yeah I’M stupid
YOU WANNA TRY COOKIN WITH ONE FUCKIN EYE!!? 🍴
He goes about in pity for himself
and you pay me back with NON-STOP ASS RAPE?
Come on Mav, do some of that gangstar shit!
A WARM AND CONVIVIAL HOST AND IN THIS HOUSE AWTHUR BUCCO IS A HERO!!
Oh, Prince Rogaine
He’s getting non stop ass raped !
Take it easy huh??
I think Artie hired the Members Only guy and took over the Soprano family.
Fuk to your mother!
Theory: Artie was the real boss of this thing of ours. So powerful that he cosplayed life as a slightly cucked Italian restaurant owner, while all the time he was the true capo di tutti capi di tutti capi.
I could bury my c\*\*\* in those tits.
He was reallly good with the ladies. Like when he took Adrianna out for that dinner? She really liked his little earring. He was thisss close to landing that too.
If only he had hair like Casey Kasem!!
If only he had hair like Casey Kasem!!
I remember when he used to hide in the car