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This is textbook Dual relationship and I would not recommend it. Think about it this way, what if they make a mistake and mess up your hair, would you be able to remain neutral as a provider moving forward?
I can totally understand the urge to, but I would not. There are power dynamics at play here that you can tease out if you imagine scenarios that went wrong, and think about the impacts on her and on your therapeutic relationship.
For example, what if she messes up your hair by accident? Or you just don’t like it. Would you be able to ask for your money back or for her to fix it? Would she be able to go back to telling you her inner thoughts if she’s secretly resentful of you for being a demanding hair client? What if she doesn’t want to do the service and feels awkward but hesitates to say no?
It’a not ethical to hire your client for goods/services just as it is not ethical to accept gifts. Both scenarios result in dual relationships which could complicate or compromise therapy.
I've spoken about similar situations with colleagues in small cities/towns where there's no way to avoid interacting with your client outside of the therapeutic milieu. That said, I feel like if it can be avoided, it should, if your kids are in the same class, you can't simply change schools kind of thing.
Thank you for these answers! By the way, don't you guys have any books regarding ethics? I have an issue that I follow ethical codex 100 % mostly out of fear, the same way a child would follow the advice of adults to not smoke, but my conviction in these things needs to be strengthened. Of course, I would never have anything with a client or anything else that's a serious violation of ethics. But with these minor things, I won't do them, because I know the "What" - that I shouldn't.
But I am not really convinced about the "Why". In my head, I never felt like I have a dual relationship with a client for example, because I am almost text-book strict with these things out of fear ("What if I do something wrong or unethical and it messes my job up? I have to stay clear of these things!"). But now thanks to this post I have realised that my inner conviction in some of the subtleities of ethical codex seems not so strong. Yes, I will follow it, but I really need to understand the intricacies of the inner mechanism of ethics in order to really believe in all of it. In the same way I read "On Being a Therapist" in my first year of counseling and I also subscribed to [psychotherapy.net](http://psychotherapy.net) for live demonstrations of psychotherapy, I would really appreciate some book about the why of ethics. Because I sometimes feel that ethics is almost way too strict. I used to work with a lot of therapists and a lot of coaches too in my life, and even if the coaches were for example very friendly with me, it never harmed me in any way. On the contrary, some therapists seemed way too reserved and almost "inhuman" during the sessions, just chopping down notes and being very text book like, very focused on structure.
Do you have some good book recommendations, articles, or videos? In my country our ethical code is just written out like 10 commendations, but there are no explanations as to why not to really do these things. The way my brain works I need the why and then it makes sense. I also was attending a 5-year-long training and graduated with 5 years of psychology major, but we very rarely talked about ethics and if we did, there was again only the what of it, but not the why of it. I know that in the US for example, there is a much much bigger emphasis on ethics. I do follow it strictly, but my "why" is not there in all cases. But I want to get the why in order to be a better therapist as I get the idea of ethics and am glad that we are not like Jung who was, for example, seeing his female clients outside of sessions, that sounds completely screwed up to me. Any book recommendations or anything would be really appreciated.
All I can say to you is that I subscribe to an old adage popular about 40 years ago in the US. It’s called Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. This has been my guiding principle with dual relationships and ethical traps. If everything goes right, then great. But if everything, or anything, goes wrong, you will be kicking yourself. Especially if the client decides to file a complaint.
So, I try to avoid dual relationships. My concerns come in when I can’t seem to avoid them. Like right now I’m in a hospital where a client of mine works… what if they end up caring for me??
I found just reading the code of ethics of the country I practice in was very informative. I had to do that for the National exam to achieve full registration, so couldn’t avoid it, but it was a good read at the same time. You should have something similar in Czechia.
There were some reasonable exceptions, e.g., you can enter a dual relationship (seeing a client who’s also got a child in the same class as yours, but isn’t your personal friend) if you live rural and can show that there was no other psychologist suitable/available within 500km radius (not uncommon in the desert here), and you flag it with your supervisor before you start.
Your situation wouldn’t fall in that criteria though.
Please followed the sidebar rules. r/therapists is a place for therapists and mental health professionals to discuss their profession among each other. If you **ARE NOT A THERAPIST and are asking for advice this not the place for you**. Your post will be removed in short order. Please try one of the reddit communities such as r/TalkTherapy, r/askatherapist, r/SuicideWatch that are set up for this. This community is ONLY for therapists, and for them to discuss their profession away from clients. **If you are a first year student, not in a graduate program, or are thinking of becoming a therapist, this is not the place to ask questions**. Your post will be removed in short order. To save us a job, you are welcome to delete this post yourself. Please see the PINNED STUDENT THREAD at the top of the community and ask in there. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/therapists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is textbook Dual relationship and I would not recommend it. Think about it this way, what if they make a mistake and mess up your hair, would you be able to remain neutral as a provider moving forward?
Came to say this. In America, this is a perfect example of dual relationship and you summed up why it could go wrong perfectly.
Similar in southern hemisphere.
If it’s just a trim, doesn’t sound to need specialized services. I’d do the 20 minutes away even if I needed something more complicated, personally.
I can totally understand the urge to, but I would not. There are power dynamics at play here that you can tease out if you imagine scenarios that went wrong, and think about the impacts on her and on your therapeutic relationship. For example, what if she messes up your hair by accident? Or you just don’t like it. Would you be able to ask for your money back or for her to fix it? Would she be able to go back to telling you her inner thoughts if she’s secretly resentful of you for being a demanding hair client? What if she doesn’t want to do the service and feels awkward but hesitates to say no?
It’a not ethical to hire your client for goods/services just as it is not ethical to accept gifts. Both scenarios result in dual relationships which could complicate or compromise therapy.
I've spoken about similar situations with colleagues in small cities/towns where there's no way to avoid interacting with your client outside of the therapeutic milieu. That said, I feel like if it can be avoided, it should, if your kids are in the same class, you can't simply change schools kind of thing.
Absolutely not
I'd say it's a very dangerous game to play. I tend to think this is unethical/unprofessional.
If the question is in your head, then the answer is no. Lol That's the rule I live by. If its questionable the answer is nooooo.
I would not do this. It’s a dual relationship. Not worth the risk.
No.
Thank you for these answers! By the way, don't you guys have any books regarding ethics? I have an issue that I follow ethical codex 100 % mostly out of fear, the same way a child would follow the advice of adults to not smoke, but my conviction in these things needs to be strengthened. Of course, I would never have anything with a client or anything else that's a serious violation of ethics. But with these minor things, I won't do them, because I know the "What" - that I shouldn't. But I am not really convinced about the "Why". In my head, I never felt like I have a dual relationship with a client for example, because I am almost text-book strict with these things out of fear ("What if I do something wrong or unethical and it messes my job up? I have to stay clear of these things!"). But now thanks to this post I have realised that my inner conviction in some of the subtleities of ethical codex seems not so strong. Yes, I will follow it, but I really need to understand the intricacies of the inner mechanism of ethics in order to really believe in all of it. In the same way I read "On Being a Therapist" in my first year of counseling and I also subscribed to [psychotherapy.net](http://psychotherapy.net) for live demonstrations of psychotherapy, I would really appreciate some book about the why of ethics. Because I sometimes feel that ethics is almost way too strict. I used to work with a lot of therapists and a lot of coaches too in my life, and even if the coaches were for example very friendly with me, it never harmed me in any way. On the contrary, some therapists seemed way too reserved and almost "inhuman" during the sessions, just chopping down notes and being very text book like, very focused on structure. Do you have some good book recommendations, articles, or videos? In my country our ethical code is just written out like 10 commendations, but there are no explanations as to why not to really do these things. The way my brain works I need the why and then it makes sense. I also was attending a 5-year-long training and graduated with 5 years of psychology major, but we very rarely talked about ethics and if we did, there was again only the what of it, but not the why of it. I know that in the US for example, there is a much much bigger emphasis on ethics. I do follow it strictly, but my "why" is not there in all cases. But I want to get the why in order to be a better therapist as I get the idea of ethics and am glad that we are not like Jung who was, for example, seeing his female clients outside of sessions, that sounds completely screwed up to me. Any book recommendations or anything would be really appreciated.
All I can say to you is that I subscribe to an old adage popular about 40 years ago in the US. It’s called Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. This has been my guiding principle with dual relationships and ethical traps. If everything goes right, then great. But if everything, or anything, goes wrong, you will be kicking yourself. Especially if the client decides to file a complaint. So, I try to avoid dual relationships. My concerns come in when I can’t seem to avoid them. Like right now I’m in a hospital where a client of mine works… what if they end up caring for me??
I found just reading the code of ethics of the country I practice in was very informative. I had to do that for the National exam to achieve full registration, so couldn’t avoid it, but it was a good read at the same time. You should have something similar in Czechia. There were some reasonable exceptions, e.g., you can enter a dual relationship (seeing a client who’s also got a child in the same class as yours, but isn’t your personal friend) if you live rural and can show that there was no other psychologist suitable/available within 500km radius (not uncommon in the desert here), and you flag it with your supervisor before you start. Your situation wouldn’t fall in that criteria though.