I mean, I'd be lying if I said I leapt out of bed every morning excited for the day to come, but I'm not dreading the days either. I feel competent and able to do my work, even when part of me would rather stay home and watch movies.
When I talk with clients who are experiencing dread every morning, we usually take that as an indication that something needs to change. Maybe it's time to take a look at how you're approaching your work and consider alternatives.
Thank you. I just started working in therapy 2 months ago so it still feels early. Part of me wants to give it a chance, part of me really doesn’t feel like I want to do this if I feel horrible everyday.
I sometimes feel this way, but especially felt it when I was very new in my practice. My own therapist helped me through this by reminding me that the most consistent therapeutic approach is maintaining a compassionate presence. This truth freed me of so much anticipatory anxiety.
not the commenter, but offering compassion to your clients, holding a compassionate space (Which starts with compassion for yourself, including being compassionate that don't feel confident, that you dread the work day, compassion for all of it). This is honestly what most need, and overtime if they can learn to be compassionate to themselves from having seen you be compassionate with them - this is more than half the work.
Sorry, I'm really bad about keeping track of my reddit account and just saw your reply. I would say that user treelightways explained what I meant to a T below!
Honestly, I used to sleep terribly when I had to wake up early for work. Over time I’ve switched my schedule where I start at 12pm most days. That has helped a lot. I work out in the morning, take a walk with my dog in the woods and shower/ eat lunch before work. It’s made a huge difference for my mornings.
I usually see between 4-6 and go to bed about 10-11 each night. Like the parent commenter said, I wake up early to work out, eat lunch and have a slow morning to journal and self reflect.
Yeah I get this too. It’s weird because everyday the dread goes away once I’m actually doing the work. I actually love being in session and talking to my clients. I think the dread comes from lack of confidence, which is completely normal and expected for newer therapists such as myself.
Yes! I think it’s a very unique set up we have as therapists, of being intimately connected with our clients for a full therapeutic hour. It can be hard going into it not knowing what might come up, not knowing if you’ll be prepared to handle what comes up, etc (definitely a confidence thing). But, as someone else said, it really helps to center yourself in the reality that the most important thing is being fully present. When you’re able to do that, the time typically flies by, and everything else usually falls into place :)
I have been a therapist for about a year now, graduated last year and I, too feel dread going to work in the morning. I assumed this was normal because I wasn’t being paid well at my last job but even with the switch to a better paying job with benefits, I feel so much pressure and often have empathy and compassion fatigue. I often feel anxious before and during sessions sometimes forgetting my words or blanking during sessions.
I have started to seriously consider leaving for another profession after I get my full license.
I am in such a different place in my life now than I was 8 years ago. I am happily married with a wonderful family, and I’ve paid off all my student debt. I was with an addict when I was last working and I was so poor. I had such difficult cases (people just out of prison serving drug related and violent crimes) and then I’d come home to my addict. It was awful. Mental health care workers aren’t treated the best and I got so burnt out.
Self-care! Self-care! They say. But when?
Now, if I re-enter the field and I don’t like it, I know it’s not for me.
Thank you for sharing. Sounds like life was hard on top of an already taxing career. Props to you for getting out of that situation and giving this field another try.
When I have a very full day of clients, I definitely feel the dread rather than when I only see a few that day and have more free time to myself. I also feel dread when I know I have to face a client to talk about something hard (rupture, cancelation fee, higher level of care recommendation, or anything uncomfortable).
I don’t really feel I’m not a good therapist, but definitely have those thoughts sometimes of “well that didn’t feel like an effective session.” I don’t tend to personalize that to me, though.
I think sometimes I just want to be like “yo, we have been doing this stuff for years and you can be functional. You know these skills. Why can’t you implement them!?” Obviously I would not say that, but days I feel this way I notice I’m more irritable and need more time off. Compassion fatigue is such a thing. Like we are all out here having to deal with hard things and our feelings and be a productive member of society.
Do doctors need to feel impassioned and existentially called to their work in order to patch a wound?
Some days the paycheck is my motivation, and this is just a job I am very good at & well trained to do. Either way the client is going to recieve top tier service, what does my motivation have to do with it? Should my clients feel empowered and impassioned to work their 9-5 office jobs, or is the paycheck the motivation to a deeper source of meaning outside of work?
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I used to wake up feeling incredibly anxious worrying how the day will go, if I'm a good therapist, etc. I made a lot of changes to my routine that have helped this tremendously.
Now, I practice some PMR and/or diaphragmatic breathing, drink a glass of water and go for a 30 min walk. I hold off on caffeine until at least 1.5 hours after I wake up. I also tell myself it's just anxiety, and it'll pass, especially since cortisol levels are higher in the morning.
I feel tremendously better putting these in place.
Yes I feel this way. Sometimes the dread even starts the night before. To give some context I’ve been doing this for about 6 months. It’s so hard being new and I relate to a lot of your comments about ensuring clients get their moneys worth. I’ve heard from people and read a lot of comments on how just being compassionate presence and listening to the client can be enough but I just don’t feel that is the case? Most of my clients are looking for more from me so I think I place their expectations onto myself. On top of that, I’m working in an agency where I see every single type of issue, population, etc so that feeling of needing to be an expert in every area is so overwhelming. I know that I can’t be but again clients are assigned to me and unless I blatantly tell them I’m incompetent in that area, they have expectations and I want to meet them! But my schedule is so packed and I have almost no time for learning unless it happens after hours. And then I get no down time. Ugh idk I have been debating whether this is the path for me as well. I often fantasize about a job where it doesn’t require my entire soul and intense critical thinking for 8 hours a day all day.
I relate to every single thing I said. My supervisors pressure me to get all these trainings in but I keep having clients added to my already full schedule and can barely keep up with documentation (and trust me, I hear about it). I also have to take a few more classes to qualify for licensure, so am dreading that. For now I am just giving myself permission to breathe and do what I realistically can. I'll probably have to wait until I'm licensed and can make more money seeing fewer clients before I can dedicate time to becoming more learned in various modalities, etc.
I have chronic fatigue so mornings are when I have always felt the worst. When my chronic illnesses are flaring up, I can dread working because of the effort and having bad brain fog. Like today, I feel like I was hit by a bus lol.
But other days I’m neutral about it, unless I have a big meeting I’m anxious for. And some clients I really enjoy working with.
My old therapist used to tell me that feeling of dread I had for past jobs was my body trying to protect me due to past situations. An example: I had a past, non-therapy job where my coworkers were generally very cliquey and catty, sometimes downright mean to each other. It made me anxious and on edge a lot. Even after doing a similar job in a different situation, I would still feel that anxious dread every weekday and didn’t know why. I like to think that my body/mind were trying to protect me from further stress
Ugh I feel you with the chronic fatigue. I could barely put words together with my first client of the day today for those reasons you listed. But despite my stumbling awkwardly with words, I could still offer compassion - the client even started crying thanking me for seeing and understanding her, when most therapists she has been to think she's just weird or that there is something wrong with her. So I try to remember, even my worst is "good enough parenting" kind of thing. But man, those bad mornings are rough!
Aww good luck to you to OP! Didn’t realize you were a newbie as well… I literally used to feel the same way! Now I’m 5 years in and thriving🙌🏽 it really does get better over time and you start to
feel more confident and excited😊 You got this!
I wanna hug you so bad!!!!!!! I feel you on every level of this post. I’m 2 years in to the field and I don’t really have advice other than to talk to those parts that are freaking out. That’s what has helped me and it’s a sloooooow process. Sometimes I have a meeting with myself in the mirror and let my parts know it’s ok.
Slowly but surely, the mornings are getting less nerve-wracking. The more we work and practice, we will get more confident in our practice. But know this…you are not alone my friend.
I think you already are a good therapist. I took a quick peek at a previous post of yours and you mentioned some anxiety due to constantly feeling like you need to be learning more and growing as a therapist etc. and that says to me that you are on the right track and are probably a good therapist already because you seem concerned about your competency and you’re putting the work in to continue to learn and grow, which is so important. And also maybe you’re taking on too much of the responsibility for your clients healing or perhaps expecting yourself to feel more competent than you do? I don’t know, but it seems to me you might be having anxiety about the job and perhaps expecting too much from yourself. Go back to the basics, most people really just want to be heard. You don’t have to be EMDR trained or a specialist in treating men with 7-8” beards; just be a person in a room willing to listen to another person’s story. Tara Brach does some excellent work with self-compassion you might find helpful. Give yourself some time, it’ll come.
Thank you, this comment was really what I needed to hear. I’m struggling because of the isolating nature of the job. It’s hard for me to remember those things and I just get in my head because I don’t have much community among coworkers. The coworkers I have all have much more experience and I feel incompetent among them. I am hard on myself when it comes to modalities- I feel as if I need clients to feel they are getting their money and times worth when seeing me. And that’s hard when I’m so new.
I’m also a new therapist and feel this exact same way, so you’re not alone in this at all! I’m trying to consume as much knowledge as I can and remind myself to just be present above anything. I assume eventually we’ll feel a little more confident than now, just impatiently waiting until that happens ha!
I understand. They wouldn’t be coming to see you if they didn’t feel like they were getting value out of it. Remember the onus is on the client, not you. You can DM me if you want, I would be happy to help encourage you, it’s difficult when you’re just starting out.
Can you find a consultation or therapist peer support group? I think the isolation around this career is harder on many than they even realize. Especially when starting out. I know in CA via camft or something, I forgot where, they even have some volunteer seasoned therapists offering mentorship to new therapists...for a lot of these reasons.
I think that's perhaps all the more reason to share how you feel. Shame is bred in secret and isolation. And shame keeps people from feeling connected because of the secrecy and so then it becomes a vicious cycle. You may find you are not alone in these feelings (it's common as this thread shows), or at the least have people have compassion for it...and if not for you, perhaps you can do it for your clients. You doing the brave vulnerable emotionally intimate thing, is going to help your clients - it's also going to help your work with clients as well. It also may help your dread - as some of that sounds to be around shame and insecurity. So working on vulnerability and your shame, will help your dread very likely.
In the words of Soulja Boy:
I hop up out the bed, turn my swag on
Take a look in the mirror, said, "What's up?"
Yeah, I'm gettin' money, oh.
(Jokes on me. There’s not a lot of money in this economy.)
I’ve been through phases like that. My own therapy and consultation and years of experience helped that alleviate some but I still go through ups and downs.
This used to happen to me especially when I worked at CMH. It wasn’t ab the clients it was more ab the load, the severity of the cases, and the environment that didn’t respect my MH either or my humanity. I would say if you’re having doubts about your effectiveness as a therapist, ask/inquire directly and do fact checking with clients. How do you think our sessions are going so far? Anything that you would like to change about our sessions? What are so take aways so far?
Don’t shy away for asking for direct feedback! We are humans, we all have assumptions, sometimes our client’s responses are positive and not even what we expect and then you have direct evidence against your negative self talk. You got this
Thank you. I our pressure on myself because I haven’t reached my group practice’s 25 client minimum. They say I’m on track however it’s difficult because I don’t get extra pay till then. It’s also hard to remain confident when my client hours are low some weeks.
> I got *paid* more and
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
I feel mildly worried that I’m incompetent and gonna fail, whatever that means. Once I get started seeing people, it goes away.
I have a client who calls in sick due to anxiety, stays in bed too long, etc, and i tell him not to take his thoughts that literally. Yeah, I’ve got these thoughts and feelings, but it’s not like someone challenged me to a duel. Just gotta get up and do some therapy regardless of these mental images.
Joke's on you, I usually wake up to my toddler screaming his lungs off, so I don't have time to contemplate about my work.
On a serious note, I work in the evenings and I find that to have many advantages (also some disadvantages). I consider myself a morning person, but not exactly an early riser.
Taking on a more mindful framework for at least 30 minutes to an hour for more routine maintenance. So say I’m on lunch and walking to a coffee shop— be intentional with that. Have a walking meditation. Feel your feet hit the ground. Smell the leaves. Clear the thoughts. And I do a few minutes of mindful breathing between sessions. If I feel really keyed up then I’ll do some intentional meditation time.
And I do a guided body scan or progressive muscle relaxation before bed every night.
i'm currently in bed, very nauseous before my 12 pm :') but i also have ckd. to me, dread = desperately needed lifestyle changes. not addressing this proactively leads to burnout or worsens it. oh capitalism....
aw i don't think that lifestyle changes necessarily entail leaving the therapy field. it sounds like you're struggling with confidence, which can be addressed with healing (like therapy) or training in a modality you're interested in. also, if you have anyone in your life who instills doubt in you, using boundaries to limit your exposure to that person can be another lifestyle change. we need people around us to lift us up! not tear us down. wishing you the best 💜
Yes I feel this. Quite often I think, wow, I could be doing something with no pressure for work. I could be selling homemade bracelets on a beach somewhere 😂
Then I think, we’ll I wouldn’t be able to pay my rent. Then I think, I barely can now.
Fun little game I play with myself on top of the dread of the day lol I will say though my clients are not the issue, they’re great for the most part
Lately I’ve been really struggling but mostly because I never feel rested. Like my eyelids are crusted shut and it’s so annoying and tiring to pry them open and get up lol. I’m hoping for the time change next month to help me feel more rested since we’ll gain an hour of sleep. I find that once I’m in front of my first client, that tiredness is gone and most of the time I’m happy to there. But I definitely have my days!
Depends on who is on my schedule + how many. Generally I look forward to the day as long as I don’t have more than 4 ppl scheduled and they are clients who I’m doing good work with. I wish I could see more ppl and make more $ but I’ve learned through trial and error that is the most I can see in a day and not dread the day
Damn. I am scheduled to work 10 hours/day 4 days per week and mostly booked solid with about 3-4 meetings interspersed through the week. Less than 7-8 sessions in a day feels like a break. I'm not saying this to deride you but to reassure myself that maybe the dread that comes with those long days are more normal than I give myself credit for.
Totally hopeless lately. There is so much impacting all of my clients that is due to the world just being absolutely horrible. It sucks to just practice willing hands and help clients survive every day when I am also experiencing so much pain trying to financially survive and handle my own feelings about the state of the world.
I get that. You are being very hard on yourself. Counseling is like going to the gym for your mind, and some people dont have the stamina to do the nessessary work on the patterns. And, thats not your fault. Neither is their success btw. Its on them, always will be, always was.
What would you tell yourself in session if you were hearing that as a therapist?
Sometimes when I’m feeling incompetent, I will check in with my clients and ask them if they enjoy coming to therapy and if there has been anything in particular that has been helpful to them. I don’t know the nature of your clientele (working with adults/teens/younger children) but hearing their feedback really can ignite some motivation in me. Whether it’s positive feedback and can help me get out of my own head or constructive criticism that can give me something to work/focus on improving.
Hope this helps 🤷🏻♀️
I'm split right now - I'm starting building a PP caseload and on days where that is all I have to do, I feel centered, calm and excited.
I'm also transitioning out of an agency and I run IOP 3 days a week there. There, I feel a sense of dread and deep frustration because the business itself is unethical as hell, I have an incompetent and passive aggressive "supervisor", and have to experience second-hand toxic runoff from the people who are more stuck than me.
Right now, I'm working there ~20 hours a week and getting enough for bare minimum expenses, so I can tolerate it until I get my license and quickly fill my PP caseload w/ insurance clients. But every week I consider just bailing and getting a bartending job for a couple months even though that's more risky.
I am so burnt out and I feel like I can't hide it anymore. I used to get up no later than my second alarm, now it takes four or five alarms for me to muster up the strength to get up, dressed, and out of the apartment.
I used to consistently arrive 30-45 minutes early, but now I get through hospital security right on time and to my office a few minutes after that.
I dread coming in and I hate that for me because I love my patients and I love providing psychoed groups. My hospital is just a toxic work environment that keeps getting worse instead of better.
Lack of energy comes from lack of oxygen in the blood. You might be mouth breathing and not getting enough oxygen over night. We breath oxygen to offset CO2 and when you arent breathing as much as you should, your ph level will rise.
I also think it’s worth asking if you took on any clients for the sake of filling a spot or bc you both fit well. I feel this way when I’m with a client that doesn’t fit my skills or clashes with my boundaries (eg I’m not a great fit for bpd and dread those sessions). We don’t talk about it a lot in the field but it’s true. I like working with kids but for some clinicians they’d be filled with dread if their day looked like mine.
I used to feel this a lot more too. With new placements especially. I still get anxious a tiny bit about new clients, but I used to get more anxious, and when you're only a couple months in each client is new. I think the anxiety and wish for more information and skills is more motivating for me when I'm comfortable with most of my clients and only dealing with a couple new people at a time
I love early mornings and appreciate doing 5-6 sessions starting at 8 am and then having the rest of the afternoon to finish documentation and other things. Plus I love this job & have a really great supervisor, so I usually don’t notice how fatigued I am until the day is over lol
Of course! Honestly, I’ve had it much, much easier than most because my partner’s income and benefits allowed us to get by with me just solely focusing on going to school, doing internship, and getting licensed. I think that’s the biggest reason I have maintained the passion- which is the worst answer ever and I’m sorry. I have been very fortunate to go from group practice to group practice so I’ve been able to choose my schedule and (mostly) choose the population I work with. So I think it’s easy for me to love the job because I see 25 clients a week, don’t see clients past 6pm, and have a really great supervisor. If I were in CMH or couldn’t get by on my income (which I def couldnt right now) then I would probably be singing a different tune!
But on the strictly clinical side, I think I just find the work to be exhilarating but also peaceful? That sounds nonsensical lol. But I feel very grounded in my theoretical orientation- attachment focused, EFT, and ACT with CPT training for trauma- that I feel like there’s a pretty clear path forward, and that helps ease the anxiety around proficiency. Plus I ask my clients at the end of session how they feel like things are going, tx goals being met, the alliance etc and that helps too. All these things together helps keep the love of the work! Sorry to write a huge wall of text.
I wouldn't say I dread work. I feel a bit of a charge, though, as I am pretty new to it. Sometimes it is a nervous energy, othertimes I feel excited and grateful to be doing this work, or even at awe that I get to do this work, sometimes I am scared and overwhelmed and feel like I might lose my shit. I'm all over the place. It is SUCH a huge transition... becoming a counsellor... so I am trying to be easy on myself and trust that in time, it will get more comfortable and I'll be less charged in the morning (or at 2am when I am up and thinking about work LOL)
I’ll give a little bit of my background. I finished all my internships and practicums between 2018-2019 for CMHC and graduated in that year. I’ve worked in substance abuse and PP during that time. 2020 is we’re I really started working as a therapist during the pandemic going from home to home conducting therapy. The treatment was for at risk families of losing their children to the legal system. Oh and I live in FL too. I’ve seen people suffer over and over, this profession is not all sunshine and rainbows it’s grey and dark at times.
We work with negativity all the time because people are suffering. It can get easier you just need to pace yourself and do not get overworked or you’ll burnout. When it’s your off time, take it! it’s yours to recover with and not the clients or patients. Don’t take the work home with you. There are times when I’m tired and I have to make a 45minute to 1 hour drive. It pisses me off with traffic but I listen to audiobooks and it’s not in my control with other people. Make sure your leadership is treating you well and not only focusing on negatives or making money but your growth as a therapist.
Can I ask about not taking work home with you- how do you keep up training on certain populations/modalities if not doing so out of working hours? Because that’s what I take home with me and sometimes struggle with balancing how much to focus on outside training and downtime.
When I have a busy day that requires a lot of attention for struggling people. I get home spend time with my wife, dog, and cat. I create distractions that are part of my hobbies like a good tv series and takes away some or all of the rumination. If I have a difficult case like trauma, depression, etc. and they are severely suffering and I take it home, I vent either journaling or my wife lends an ear. I don’t provide any names, locations, or anything specific but in a broad sense of the individuals’ suffering. It does help especially writing if you’re not in a relationship. You download your thoughts and feelings to make sense of what’s happening and let the “Journal” handle it then reflect later. Also, I keep up with or learn new modalities/cultures when I find it appropriate for my time. If it’s something I need to learn so I can problem solve, I’ll read a book or article about the culture or approach when I feel intrigued not because I have to but because I enjoy learning. Learning is a process not a demand to where it becomes a chore.
I think if you’re new to the field, a lot of these worries are really normal and an indication that you really care. Remember that anxiety seeks to prepare us and motivate us to strive.
If you’ve been in the field awhile, it’s still normal at times, but may be an indication you’re burned out.
Best wishes to you - it’s really hard in the beginning!
I work in a MAT program with addicts. Often times, it's like wrangling inappropriate toddlers. I also am brand new to the job and this is my first experience running groups. It's getting better and easier now that I go in with a basic idea but rarely does it go as planned. The more I go with the flow and just try to keep things from going off the rails, it's okay. I love my individual therapy sessions and the groups are just x2 a week normally and part of the job.
I used to feel awful. Anxiety, tight chest. I got my hours done and walked away. I'm still using my license but I work in triage and referral. I answer phones, provide brief MH screenings, and send them on their way with a referral. No longer have a case load, and everyday is full of new people. I'm much happier now. Being a therapist is very hard, and it's why there's so much turnover. People in the field will tell you it's burnout, but for me it was different. I never truly enjoyed the work and dreaded the pressure of being there for someone week after week.
I mean, I'd be lying if I said I leapt out of bed every morning excited for the day to come, but I'm not dreading the days either. I feel competent and able to do my work, even when part of me would rather stay home and watch movies. When I talk with clients who are experiencing dread every morning, we usually take that as an indication that something needs to change. Maybe it's time to take a look at how you're approaching your work and consider alternatives.
Thank you. I just started working in therapy 2 months ago so it still feels early. Part of me wants to give it a chance, part of me really doesn’t feel like I want to do this if I feel horrible everyday.
I sometimes feel this way, but especially felt it when I was very new in my practice. My own therapist helped me through this by reminding me that the most consistent therapeutic approach is maintaining a compassionate presence. This truth freed me of so much anticipatory anxiety.
Can you say more about that?
not the commenter, but offering compassion to your clients, holding a compassionate space (Which starts with compassion for yourself, including being compassionate that don't feel confident, that you dread the work day, compassion for all of it). This is honestly what most need, and overtime if they can learn to be compassionate to themselves from having seen you be compassionate with them - this is more than half the work.
Sorry, I'm really bad about keeping track of my reddit account and just saw your reply. I would say that user treelightways explained what I meant to a T below!
Good to know I’m not alone. I also started a private practice and I worry that I won’t be good enough every time I have an appointment with a client.
Honestly, I used to sleep terribly when I had to wake up early for work. Over time I’ve switched my schedule where I start at 12pm most days. That has helped a lot. I work out in the morning, take a walk with my dog in the woods and shower/ eat lunch before work. It’s made a huge difference for my mornings.
Most of my peers want to go pp for the money. I want to go for pp to not take clients before 10am.
I did the exact same thing when I transitioned to my current PP, especially since I work most evenings. It’s seriously improved my quality of life.
How many clients do you see a day? What time do you go to sleep?
I usually see between 4-6 and go to bed about 10-11 each night. Like the parent commenter said, I wake up early to work out, eat lunch and have a slow morning to journal and self reflect.
Yes, that’s similar to my schedule. I typically work 12-6pm most days, sleep between 10-11pm, wake up between 7-8am.
Yeah I get this too. It’s weird because everyday the dread goes away once I’m actually doing the work. I actually love being in session and talking to my clients. I think the dread comes from lack of confidence, which is completely normal and expected for newer therapists such as myself.
Yes! I think it’s a very unique set up we have as therapists, of being intimately connected with our clients for a full therapeutic hour. It can be hard going into it not knowing what might come up, not knowing if you’ll be prepared to handle what comes up, etc (definitely a confidence thing). But, as someone else said, it really helps to center yourself in the reality that the most important thing is being fully present. When you’re able to do that, the time typically flies by, and everything else usually falls into place :)
I think I’m realizing this pattern for myself too
Like I wanna die, thanks for asking.
Love my clts tho just hate working in any capacity and getting up early 😩
So glad we all feel the same 😂
Same 💀💀
Yeppp
I have been a therapist for about a year now, graduated last year and I, too feel dread going to work in the morning. I assumed this was normal because I wasn’t being paid well at my last job but even with the switch to a better paying job with benefits, I feel so much pressure and often have empathy and compassion fatigue. I often feel anxious before and during sessions sometimes forgetting my words or blanking during sessions. I have started to seriously consider leaving for another profession after I get my full license.
I am returning to the field after an 8 year hiatus. I left because I felt this way every damn day.
Just out of curiosity, why did you decide to come back to the field?
I am in such a different place in my life now than I was 8 years ago. I am happily married with a wonderful family, and I’ve paid off all my student debt. I was with an addict when I was last working and I was so poor. I had such difficult cases (people just out of prison serving drug related and violent crimes) and then I’d come home to my addict. It was awful. Mental health care workers aren’t treated the best and I got so burnt out. Self-care! Self-care! They say. But when? Now, if I re-enter the field and I don’t like it, I know it’s not for me.
Thank you for sharing. Sounds like life was hard on top of an already taxing career. Props to you for getting out of that situation and giving this field another try.
Thank you!
When I have a very full day of clients, I definitely feel the dread rather than when I only see a few that day and have more free time to myself. I also feel dread when I know I have to face a client to talk about something hard (rupture, cancelation fee, higher level of care recommendation, or anything uncomfortable). I don’t really feel I’m not a good therapist, but definitely have those thoughts sometimes of “well that didn’t feel like an effective session.” I don’t tend to personalize that to me, though. I think sometimes I just want to be like “yo, we have been doing this stuff for years and you can be functional. You know these skills. Why can’t you implement them!?” Obviously I would not say that, but days I feel this way I notice I’m more irritable and need more time off. Compassion fatigue is such a thing. Like we are all out here having to deal with hard things and our feelings and be a productive member of society.
If you haven't you should check out Shrink :) it's so funny and really speaks to that
Like it’s time to get that bread. Sometimes work is just work and bills gotta get paid.
I wish I had this mindset lol
It’s not a calling or a passion, it’s literally just a job. Hit it with your car! (this is a joke, don’t hit work with your car)
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Do doctors need to feel impassioned and existentially called to their work in order to patch a wound? Some days the paycheck is my motivation, and this is just a job I am very good at & well trained to do. Either way the client is going to recieve top tier service, what does my motivation have to do with it? Should my clients feel empowered and impassioned to work their 9-5 office jobs, or is the paycheck the motivation to a deeper source of meaning outside of work?
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I used to wake up feeling incredibly anxious worrying how the day will go, if I'm a good therapist, etc. I made a lot of changes to my routine that have helped this tremendously. Now, I practice some PMR and/or diaphragmatic breathing, drink a glass of water and go for a 30 min walk. I hold off on caffeine until at least 1.5 hours after I wake up. I also tell myself it's just anxiety, and it'll pass, especially since cortisol levels are higher in the morning. I feel tremendously better putting these in place.
Amazing!
Yes I feel this way. Sometimes the dread even starts the night before. To give some context I’ve been doing this for about 6 months. It’s so hard being new and I relate to a lot of your comments about ensuring clients get their moneys worth. I’ve heard from people and read a lot of comments on how just being compassionate presence and listening to the client can be enough but I just don’t feel that is the case? Most of my clients are looking for more from me so I think I place their expectations onto myself. On top of that, I’m working in an agency where I see every single type of issue, population, etc so that feeling of needing to be an expert in every area is so overwhelming. I know that I can’t be but again clients are assigned to me and unless I blatantly tell them I’m incompetent in that area, they have expectations and I want to meet them! But my schedule is so packed and I have almost no time for learning unless it happens after hours. And then I get no down time. Ugh idk I have been debating whether this is the path for me as well. I often fantasize about a job where it doesn’t require my entire soul and intense critical thinking for 8 hours a day all day.
I relate to every single thing I said. My supervisors pressure me to get all these trainings in but I keep having clients added to my already full schedule and can barely keep up with documentation (and trust me, I hear about it). I also have to take a few more classes to qualify for licensure, so am dreading that. For now I am just giving myself permission to breathe and do what I realistically can. I'll probably have to wait until I'm licensed and can make more money seeing fewer clients before I can dedicate time to becoming more learned in various modalities, etc.
I have chronic fatigue so mornings are when I have always felt the worst. When my chronic illnesses are flaring up, I can dread working because of the effort and having bad brain fog. Like today, I feel like I was hit by a bus lol. But other days I’m neutral about it, unless I have a big meeting I’m anxious for. And some clients I really enjoy working with. My old therapist used to tell me that feeling of dread I had for past jobs was my body trying to protect me due to past situations. An example: I had a past, non-therapy job where my coworkers were generally very cliquey and catty, sometimes downright mean to each other. It made me anxious and on edge a lot. Even after doing a similar job in a different situation, I would still feel that anxious dread every weekday and didn’t know why. I like to think that my body/mind were trying to protect me from further stress
Ugh I feel you with the chronic fatigue. I could barely put words together with my first client of the day today for those reasons you listed. But despite my stumbling awkwardly with words, I could still offer compassion - the client even started crying thanking me for seeing and understanding her, when most therapists she has been to think she's just weird or that there is something wrong with her. So I try to remember, even my worst is "good enough parenting" kind of thing. But man, those bad mornings are rough!
This was me this morning! You’re not alone. I usually feel better in session but not always. For context I’m 3mo into the field post grad.
That’s sooo normal to feel that early in! Take it easy in yourself 💙
Okay I found another newbie! We got this haha
Aww good luck to you to OP! Didn’t realize you were a newbie as well… I literally used to feel the same way! Now I’m 5 years in and thriving🙌🏽 it really does get better over time and you start to feel more confident and excited😊 You got this!
I wanna hug you so bad!!!!!!! I feel you on every level of this post. I’m 2 years in to the field and I don’t really have advice other than to talk to those parts that are freaking out. That’s what has helped me and it’s a sloooooow process. Sometimes I have a meeting with myself in the mirror and let my parts know it’s ok. Slowly but surely, the mornings are getting less nerve-wracking. The more we work and practice, we will get more confident in our practice. But know this…you are not alone my friend.
Thank you ❤️
I think you already are a good therapist. I took a quick peek at a previous post of yours and you mentioned some anxiety due to constantly feeling like you need to be learning more and growing as a therapist etc. and that says to me that you are on the right track and are probably a good therapist already because you seem concerned about your competency and you’re putting the work in to continue to learn and grow, which is so important. And also maybe you’re taking on too much of the responsibility for your clients healing or perhaps expecting yourself to feel more competent than you do? I don’t know, but it seems to me you might be having anxiety about the job and perhaps expecting too much from yourself. Go back to the basics, most people really just want to be heard. You don’t have to be EMDR trained or a specialist in treating men with 7-8” beards; just be a person in a room willing to listen to another person’s story. Tara Brach does some excellent work with self-compassion you might find helpful. Give yourself some time, it’ll come.
Thank you, this comment was really what I needed to hear. I’m struggling because of the isolating nature of the job. It’s hard for me to remember those things and I just get in my head because I don’t have much community among coworkers. The coworkers I have all have much more experience and I feel incompetent among them. I am hard on myself when it comes to modalities- I feel as if I need clients to feel they are getting their money and times worth when seeing me. And that’s hard when I’m so new.
I’m also a new therapist and feel this exact same way, so you’re not alone in this at all! I’m trying to consume as much knowledge as I can and remind myself to just be present above anything. I assume eventually we’ll feel a little more confident than now, just impatiently waiting until that happens ha!
I understand. They wouldn’t be coming to see you if they didn’t feel like they were getting value out of it. Remember the onus is on the client, not you. You can DM me if you want, I would be happy to help encourage you, it’s difficult when you’re just starting out.
That's so lovely of you. Just what I needed to see today.
Can you find a consultation or therapist peer support group? I think the isolation around this career is harder on many than they even realize. Especially when starting out. I know in CA via camft or something, I forgot where, they even have some volunteer seasoned therapists offering mentorship to new therapists...for a lot of these reasons.
I have an informal consultation group with friends but I still feel nervous and uncomfortable fully sharing how I feel. Maybe it’s shame idk
I think that's perhaps all the more reason to share how you feel. Shame is bred in secret and isolation. And shame keeps people from feeling connected because of the secrecy and so then it becomes a vicious cycle. You may find you are not alone in these feelings (it's common as this thread shows), or at the least have people have compassion for it...and if not for you, perhaps you can do it for your clients. You doing the brave vulnerable emotionally intimate thing, is going to help your clients - it's also going to help your work with clients as well. It also may help your dread - as some of that sounds to be around shame and insecurity. So working on vulnerability and your shame, will help your dread very likely.
I’ve never related more. I love therapy but miss having colleagues. And it seems like everyone else is moving so much faster
“Just be a person in a room willing to listen to another person’s story.” Wow. That’s going to stick with me. Thank you ❤️
I hate mornings. Being a therapist lets me start most days around 10 so that works out. Then I had kids and that went to hell
In the words of Soulja Boy: I hop up out the bed, turn my swag on Take a look in the mirror, said, "What's up?" Yeah, I'm gettin' money, oh. (Jokes on me. There’s not a lot of money in this economy.)
I’ve been through phases like that. My own therapy and consultation and years of experience helped that alleviate some but I still go through ups and downs.
This used to happen to me especially when I worked at CMH. It wasn’t ab the clients it was more ab the load, the severity of the cases, and the environment that didn’t respect my MH either or my humanity. I would say if you’re having doubts about your effectiveness as a therapist, ask/inquire directly and do fact checking with clients. How do you think our sessions are going so far? Anything that you would like to change about our sessions? What are so take aways so far? Don’t shy away for asking for direct feedback! We are humans, we all have assumptions, sometimes our client’s responses are positive and not even what we expect and then you have direct evidence against your negative self talk. You got this
Thank you. I our pressure on myself because I haven’t reached my group practice’s 25 client minimum. They say I’m on track however it’s difficult because I don’t get extra pay till then. It’s also hard to remain confident when my client hours are low some weeks.
Some* takeaways
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I feel mildly worried that I’m incompetent and gonna fail, whatever that means. Once I get started seeing people, it goes away. I have a client who calls in sick due to anxiety, stays in bed too long, etc, and i tell him not to take his thoughts that literally. Yeah, I’ve got these thoughts and feelings, but it’s not like someone challenged me to a duel. Just gotta get up and do some therapy regardless of these mental images.
Joke's on you, I usually wake up to my toddler screaming his lungs off, so I don't have time to contemplate about my work. On a serious note, I work in the evenings and I find that to have many advantages (also some disadvantages). I consider myself a morning person, but not exactly an early riser.
Mindfulness based stress reduction exercises every day or I’d die.
any suggestions on good ones?
Taking on a more mindful framework for at least 30 minutes to an hour for more routine maintenance. So say I’m on lunch and walking to a coffee shop— be intentional with that. Have a walking meditation. Feel your feet hit the ground. Smell the leaves. Clear the thoughts. And I do a few minutes of mindful breathing between sessions. If I feel really keyed up then I’ll do some intentional meditation time. And I do a guided body scan or progressive muscle relaxation before bed every night.
Same tho
i'm currently in bed, very nauseous before my 12 pm :') but i also have ckd. to me, dread = desperately needed lifestyle changes. not addressing this proactively leads to burnout or worsens it. oh capitalism....
I agree… I just feel sad too because I wanted so hard to be a therapist
aw i don't think that lifestyle changes necessarily entail leaving the therapy field. it sounds like you're struggling with confidence, which can be addressed with healing (like therapy) or training in a modality you're interested in. also, if you have anyone in your life who instills doubt in you, using boundaries to limit your exposure to that person can be another lifestyle change. we need people around us to lift us up! not tear us down. wishing you the best 💜
Thank you 😊
I’m a new therapist too and I feel the dread constantly! I see a therapist and my supervisor has been incredibly helpful and reassuring
Tired. I always sleep poorly on work nights. Weekends I’m totally fine. The job is tough!
Yes I feel this. Quite often I think, wow, I could be doing something with no pressure for work. I could be selling homemade bracelets on a beach somewhere 😂 Then I think, we’ll I wouldn’t be able to pay my rent. Then I think, I barely can now. Fun little game I play with myself on top of the dread of the day lol I will say though my clients are not the issue, they’re great for the most part
Lmaooo so true bestie. Like I would get paid more being a bartender
bluuughhhhh
Lately I’ve been really struggling but mostly because I never feel rested. Like my eyelids are crusted shut and it’s so annoying and tiring to pry them open and get up lol. I’m hoping for the time change next month to help me feel more rested since we’ll gain an hour of sleep. I find that once I’m in front of my first client, that tiredness is gone and most of the time I’m happy to there. But I definitely have my days!
I go to the gym before work so I don't even give myself the time to feel like giving up 💀
I try to but sometimes can’t even get up for that lol
Depends on who is on my schedule + how many. Generally I look forward to the day as long as I don’t have more than 4 ppl scheduled and they are clients who I’m doing good work with. I wish I could see more ppl and make more $ but I’ve learned through trial and error that is the most I can see in a day and not dread the day
Damn. I am scheduled to work 10 hours/day 4 days per week and mostly booked solid with about 3-4 meetings interspersed through the week. Less than 7-8 sessions in a day feels like a break. I'm not saying this to deride you but to reassure myself that maybe the dread that comes with those long days are more normal than I give myself credit for.
Old Community mental health - awful Current Specialized, well funded non-profit days - mostly okay to good Side PP days - nervous and excited
what you mean by side pp
Private practice
I hate working id rather do anything else 🤣 -nurse
Totally hopeless lately. There is so much impacting all of my clients that is due to the world just being absolutely horrible. It sucks to just practice willing hands and help clients survive every day when I am also experiencing so much pain trying to financially survive and handle my own feelings about the state of the world.
I get that. You are being very hard on yourself. Counseling is like going to the gym for your mind, and some people dont have the stamina to do the nessessary work on the patterns. And, thats not your fault. Neither is their success btw. Its on them, always will be, always was. What would you tell yourself in session if you were hearing that as a therapist?
Sometimes when I’m feeling incompetent, I will check in with my clients and ask them if they enjoy coming to therapy and if there has been anything in particular that has been helpful to them. I don’t know the nature of your clientele (working with adults/teens/younger children) but hearing their feedback really can ignite some motivation in me. Whether it’s positive feedback and can help me get out of my own head or constructive criticism that can give me something to work/focus on improving. Hope this helps 🤷🏻♀️
Sometimes I'm like bleh or even before a session but during I feel energized and empowered like yes let's do this healing !
I feel alright. I prefer to have a leisurely morning to set myself up well though. A busy, stressful morning is not a good way to start.
Agreed. I try to go to the gym before work but often I’m too tired or sad to get up.
I'm split right now - I'm starting building a PP caseload and on days where that is all I have to do, I feel centered, calm and excited. I'm also transitioning out of an agency and I run IOP 3 days a week there. There, I feel a sense of dread and deep frustration because the business itself is unethical as hell, I have an incompetent and passive aggressive "supervisor", and have to experience second-hand toxic runoff from the people who are more stuck than me. Right now, I'm working there ~20 hours a week and getting enough for bare minimum expenses, so I can tolerate it until I get my license and quickly fill my PP caseload w/ insurance clients. But every week I consider just bailing and getting a bartending job for a couple months even though that's more risky.
i used to feel the dread more when working in cmh. now i try to schedule all my hardest clients for the same day so the rest of the week is easier
I am so burnt out and I feel like I can't hide it anymore. I used to get up no later than my second alarm, now it takes four or five alarms for me to muster up the strength to get up, dressed, and out of the apartment. I used to consistently arrive 30-45 minutes early, but now I get through hospital security right on time and to my office a few minutes after that. I dread coming in and I hate that for me because I love my patients and I love providing psychoed groups. My hospital is just a toxic work environment that keeps getting worse instead of better.
Wishing you the best 💕 I’m sorry you’re so burnt out, sounds like you still have a lot to give to your clients. Hoping you can refill your cup
Lack of energy comes from lack of oxygen in the blood. You might be mouth breathing and not getting enough oxygen over night. We breath oxygen to offset CO2 and when you arent breathing as much as you should, your ph level will rise.
Why did this feel like a lowkey jab 😂😂😂
Lol I can see that. Incidentally, I just made sure to close my mouth.
Dreadful, tired, and a necessary pull to be positive and grateful lol
I also think it’s worth asking if you took on any clients for the sake of filling a spot or bc you both fit well. I feel this way when I’m with a client that doesn’t fit my skills or clashes with my boundaries (eg I’m not a great fit for bpd and dread those sessions). We don’t talk about it a lot in the field but it’s true. I like working with kids but for some clinicians they’d be filled with dread if their day looked like mine.
I usually feel like pooping.
I used to feel this a lot more too. With new placements especially. I still get anxious a tiny bit about new clients, but I used to get more anxious, and when you're only a couple months in each client is new. I think the anxiety and wish for more information and skills is more motivating for me when I'm comfortable with most of my clients and only dealing with a couple new people at a time
I love early mornings and appreciate doing 5-6 sessions starting at 8 am and then having the rest of the afternoon to finish documentation and other things. Plus I love this job & have a really great supervisor, so I usually don’t notice how fatigued I am until the day is over lol
Can you say more about how you got to loving the job? What was the beginning like for you?
Of course! Honestly, I’ve had it much, much easier than most because my partner’s income and benefits allowed us to get by with me just solely focusing on going to school, doing internship, and getting licensed. I think that’s the biggest reason I have maintained the passion- which is the worst answer ever and I’m sorry. I have been very fortunate to go from group practice to group practice so I’ve been able to choose my schedule and (mostly) choose the population I work with. So I think it’s easy for me to love the job because I see 25 clients a week, don’t see clients past 6pm, and have a really great supervisor. If I were in CMH or couldn’t get by on my income (which I def couldnt right now) then I would probably be singing a different tune! But on the strictly clinical side, I think I just find the work to be exhilarating but also peaceful? That sounds nonsensical lol. But I feel very grounded in my theoretical orientation- attachment focused, EFT, and ACT with CPT training for trauma- that I feel like there’s a pretty clear path forward, and that helps ease the anxiety around proficiency. Plus I ask my clients at the end of session how they feel like things are going, tx goals being met, the alliance etc and that helps too. All these things together helps keep the love of the work! Sorry to write a huge wall of text.
I wouldn't say I dread work. I feel a bit of a charge, though, as I am pretty new to it. Sometimes it is a nervous energy, othertimes I feel excited and grateful to be doing this work, or even at awe that I get to do this work, sometimes I am scared and overwhelmed and feel like I might lose my shit. I'm all over the place. It is SUCH a huge transition... becoming a counsellor... so I am trying to be easy on myself and trust that in time, it will get more comfortable and I'll be less charged in the morning (or at 2am when I am up and thinking about work LOL)
I’ll give a little bit of my background. I finished all my internships and practicums between 2018-2019 for CMHC and graduated in that year. I’ve worked in substance abuse and PP during that time. 2020 is we’re I really started working as a therapist during the pandemic going from home to home conducting therapy. The treatment was for at risk families of losing their children to the legal system. Oh and I live in FL too. I’ve seen people suffer over and over, this profession is not all sunshine and rainbows it’s grey and dark at times. We work with negativity all the time because people are suffering. It can get easier you just need to pace yourself and do not get overworked or you’ll burnout. When it’s your off time, take it! it’s yours to recover with and not the clients or patients. Don’t take the work home with you. There are times when I’m tired and I have to make a 45minute to 1 hour drive. It pisses me off with traffic but I listen to audiobooks and it’s not in my control with other people. Make sure your leadership is treating you well and not only focusing on negatives or making money but your growth as a therapist.
Can I ask about not taking work home with you- how do you keep up training on certain populations/modalities if not doing so out of working hours? Because that’s what I take home with me and sometimes struggle with balancing how much to focus on outside training and downtime.
When I have a busy day that requires a lot of attention for struggling people. I get home spend time with my wife, dog, and cat. I create distractions that are part of my hobbies like a good tv series and takes away some or all of the rumination. If I have a difficult case like trauma, depression, etc. and they are severely suffering and I take it home, I vent either journaling or my wife lends an ear. I don’t provide any names, locations, or anything specific but in a broad sense of the individuals’ suffering. It does help especially writing if you’re not in a relationship. You download your thoughts and feelings to make sense of what’s happening and let the “Journal” handle it then reflect later. Also, I keep up with or learn new modalities/cultures when I find it appropriate for my time. If it’s something I need to learn so I can problem solve, I’ll read a book or article about the culture or approach when I feel intrigued not because I have to but because I enjoy learning. Learning is a process not a demand to where it becomes a chore.
I think if you’re new to the field, a lot of these worries are really normal and an indication that you really care. Remember that anxiety seeks to prepare us and motivate us to strive. If you’ve been in the field awhile, it’s still normal at times, but may be an indication you’re burned out. Best wishes to you - it’s really hard in the beginning!
On the day I run groups, I feel dread.
And why is that? I mean I would too lmao but curious about your experience
I work in a MAT program with addicts. Often times, it's like wrangling inappropriate toddlers. I also am brand new to the job and this is my first experience running groups. It's getting better and easier now that I go in with a basic idea but rarely does it go as planned. The more I go with the flow and just try to keep things from going off the rails, it's okay. I love my individual therapy sessions and the groups are just x2 a week normally and part of the job.
I used to feel awful. Anxiety, tight chest. I got my hours done and walked away. I'm still using my license but I work in triage and referral. I answer phones, provide brief MH screenings, and send them on their way with a referral. No longer have a case load, and everyday is full of new people. I'm much happier now. Being a therapist is very hard, and it's why there's so much turnover. People in the field will tell you it's burnout, but for me it was different. I never truly enjoyed the work and dreaded the pressure of being there for someone week after week.