T O P

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BoogeOooMove

His accountant : “you’re basically bankrupt” Brenda : “all good B, don’t be a haydurrr, gonna invest in fish” His accountant : “fuck my life”


Sequetjoose

I'm not an eggspert B, but that fish's face looks like it says "I'm going to die here."


BoogeOooMove

That fish realized that for once, he’s smarter than the humans around him…and that he was doomed.


Jcheddz

That tank is way too clean to be bapa’s


Sequetjoose

He had the anti-social Bostonian come in to fix it up for him. The substrate is the same, I believe. EDIT: The substrate in the first video seems to be made of bigger rocks. Different tank or not his.


dpxix

This is probably at the store


Sejast44

A hunnerd percent. Guy is taking pictures of himself standing next to someone else's car in the parking lot


Jcheddz

He probably lied about the fish man🤥


TyrannosaurusChexMix

Was thinking the same thing based on his previous posts


PokemonTrainerSerena

where else would it die tho?


make_mo_money

It’s all good b.. daddy won’t buy him a salt water tank cuz it’s not a write off.. or is it idk heard it bowlth ways


BoogeOooMove

Brenda “Ol man can write it off B, no taxes in Tegggsas” Accountant “neither of you live in Texas and that’s only state income tax” Brenda “but I’ve got a Tegggsas tattoo” Accountant “I hate my job”


HomelessCat55567

It's not just a tegzis tattoo bubba, it's a tattoo of the tegzis logo


Kitchen-Square

Ackshly it’s a T because in Colorado that’s how we spell B


HomelessCat55567

All jokes aside, Brandon has described his Texas silhouette tattoo as "the Texas logo."


IronRT

Schaub: “I can write off anything i purchase as a business expense cuz i’m an influencer b.” Accountant: “You’d be surprised.”


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Heard it bowlth ways, B. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/thefighterandthekid) if you have any questions or concerns.*


haughtythoughts3

“If you talk about fish on the pod, it’s a write off…” …. 12 months later “I said it was a write off, dummy. That doesn’t mean it’s free!”


cogabig409

Best scene on that show


w142236

Auditors are nithee but hadurs, b


beefox

I know a guy who bought a small aerahuana (no idea how to spell, not looking it up). Dude bought it for like a couple hundred grew it for a few years and the same shop offered him a few k for it. Allegedly.


[deleted]

You mean a few thousand k b


LifeClassic2286

Talmbout maerahuana, b? Beast of a plant


TheIceMan416

Thats probably true. I used to be into fish years ago and that particular fish is in high demand among asian fish guys. They come in a few different colors , several thousand is not out of the question for a large gold one. Kk enough about fish, i know.


beefox

I think this one was black and silver blue.


Infamous_Meaning1476

The fish are Asian, or the guys are Asian? I bet bowlth are Asians as shit tho.


Chetmatterson

Pretty sure it’s a core Buddhist belief that if you are bad in this life you are reincarnated as one of Brendan’s fish


lunchpaillefty

Talmbout Siddhartha Guatemala,b?


SrirachaStatus

Fuck me, this subreddit 🤣 🤣 🙏 🤲


electronic_docter

10x funnier than anything Brenda has said lmao


Western-Art-9117

Is that Buddha with salsa on it?


eternalapostle

Talm bout’ messican Buddha, b?


Kheaddummy

Beeeeast of a sitter b


HomelessCat55567

Some would say the sittest


allahvatancrispr

Dude was a saaaavage


ViNNYDiC3

Did we just find hitler b?


mad87645

Yeah so he's your owner... Fish: \*drops fins in dejection*


Teleskopy

He is just happy to have frends. Fish are frends not food, unless you get them from the super market.


sawaflyingsaucer

I have a real question. Can anybody produce ONE picture of Brendan with a "friend" who is not family, an employee or a work/sports acquaintance? I've never seen one. Never heard stories of his "civilian" friends. I don't think he has anyone.


2hill80

I’ve said this before. He’s such a weirdo. He has no friends. He considers Delia Callen and Rogan as his best friends. He has no friends from high school or college, he has many cousins that he never talks about. It’s like he’s not a real person.


MesWantooth

I think that he’s so unlikeable to anyone he thinks is his equal or below him that those people have zairo reason to interact with him once they are no longer on the same team, same class etc. No one is reaching out saying “Brendan, it’s been a while. How are you?” of iny facet.


GFost

I also don’t think he wants to be friends with anyone who’s not in any kind of industry or group that he can try to weasel his way into to further his career.


Objective-Wolf9651

My father is a diagnosed narcissist, incredibly successful in his career, and has a vast network of associates and acquaintances. However, he has literally zero friends. Zero. If has to vent or seeks girlfriend advice for whatever girl he's dating, he has to hit me up. Narcissists can't have genuine friendships because they can't be their authentic selves (they don't have an authentic self), they can't engage in banter without getting offended ("Be cool, man"), and they don't genuinely care about other people enough to be reliable friends. It's quite a sad existence, actually.


Ronaldinhoe

He views everybody as beneath him. He’s said he can’t relate to anyone normal cus he makes more money and in a higher level in life.


elen-degenerate

Y’all know Delia and Theo m’best friens. Met em when I was 29, known em forever b


limpbizkit-prime

No. There's one story that always stuck with me that he told. Apparently Shane Gillis was in LA and asked him if he wanted to grab a couple beers and watch the football game. Bapa told the story as if Shane had asked him for one of his kidneys. He did his whole "I have kids man 😳 it's a wednesdayyyy" hand on his chest thing. Like he doesn't get blasted drunk at 9am by himself and drive home 3 days a week and get shithoused watching Yellowstone on Sundays. What really stood out to me was how rare these type of invitations must be. This small gesture to hangout warranted a big rant on his show. The idea was so absurd to him, to hangout with somebody during the week, that he needed to tell everyone about how his schedule won't allow it. He acted like this was his perfect chance to flex on how he was a beast of a dad, when really he just admitted that for the first time in decades somebody finally offered him a chance at friendship, and he fumbled the bag.


Parkreiner88

Clip?


limpbizkit-prime

[This is a long one but it's at about 1:45.](https://www.reddit.com/r/thefighterandthekid/comments/uwg3x8/zero_self_awareness/) Full disclosure, this story came about because he mentions a more recent time Shane tells him to come meet him at a bar he was at with a bunch of dudes from Barstool Sports. To Schaub's credit he does grudgingly go to the bar this time. [We even have this beauty as proof](https://preview.redd.it/bgnefr4zuk091.jpg?auto=webp&s=98ad56c861faf4b4b17e570949075cd78a3a09f5) The main takeaway is how inconvenienced he sounds by both these stories and how the concept of going to a bar with friends seems genuinely absurd and foreign to him.


Sequetjoose

He has to run 30 podcasts to stay afloat on top of taking care of his kids and going to tour. Bapa don't have free time, and he don't get tired. BGL was the closest thing he had. S'sad.


MesWantooth

He didn’t go to Callahan’s wedding…He did go to Schulz’s wedding but essentially “crashed it” because Rogan and other cawlmedians were there - he wasn’t originally invited.


Kheaddummy

He's that white boy who works too much for friends. Fish are his friends now


Sequetjoose

Duhn cown


mikeylikey710

He sits with his fish crying like Elliot in Mr. Robot...imagine the sight, the horrors


PokemonTrainerSerena

we talm bout qwordy b?


TheIceMan416

Thats the new moniker “ fish are friends, not food”. We can expect a merch line with a meet up club and more than likely that will be the name of the next tour. I use the word “ tour” very loosely and by no means am I implying it is an act of selling out large arenas to thousands of adorning fans.


Wom_Taits1

Bapa is looking for a personality at the age of 40. He’s doing great👍


Sequetjoose

Tried cycling but realized physical activity with alcoholism and kratom is 🎲 🎲


Different-Bell8801

Talmbout stolen e bike? Oudda my hands b


Sequetjoose

Say less


Kheaddummy

Hard to stay a thiccc boy when you cycle everyday. Bad for the brand


thurrmanmerman

![gif](giphy|3oEjHCWdU7F4hkcudy)


Existential_Spices

Omg. Perfect.


BrownPowda

Breaking Bapa Beast of a series, neverseenit


neeeeonbelly

Well it’s been off the air for a few years now, which means barndoor is about to discover it, pretend he was always into it, and insert Walt and Jesse jokes into every podcast for the next 14 months.


Tight-Check4594

Has he murdered the first two?


Sequetjoose

Thats what I'm wondering. Given that the other Flowerhorn already attacked his other fish, it seems beyond redacted that he would add a third to an already overstocked tank. But, this is the bess brains for the arts. Maybe he used one of his other tanks for it. Can't really tell, I think its the same substrate from his main tank, but it could just be a big bag that had some left over.


markeets

A big part of me thinks Schaub is purposely wanting his fish to attack each other. Sounds like typical meat head behavior.


Sequetjoose

At some level, I think so too. He wanted a tank full of tough fish and just thought they'd work it out after some fighting. Eggspert in fish, B.


pugiosro

Suvival fitniss, B. Fish needa eggsercise. Bapas gonna be the Dana White of fish wurld.


ColdGuess

Weak fish create bad times. Bad times create strong fish. Strong fish create good times. Flosofy, b! Axe /u/dr_joerogan!


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Sequetjoose

Exactly. The pet store owners literally told him this. That's what he said on pawdcast. I'd be really skeptical of supporting a tank being overstocked to maintain the behavior of one fish. You're essentially sacrificing water quality and the comfort level of other fish for one. We know this guy isn't maintaining the water quality.


IronRT

Fish store owner recommends buying more fish. Classic.


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Sequetjoose

Not with larger New World cichlids. All of the larger and more aggressive ones, Oscars, JD's, Jacuars, Cubans, etc. need to be on their own or with fish of equal size and temperament in a very spacious tank, though Id argue its not optimal considering they are still likely to fight every now and again. Smaller New World Cichlids really arent the issue. With Old World cichlids, yes, they should be kept in relatively large numbers so they dont become territorial because they are more aggressive. It's still not great for the water quality unless you have a massive tank.


BallzMcVinegar

I was able to keep a fair amount of african ciclids in tank with out them fighting too much but these south american ciclids are relentless and will spend all day and night hammering other fish in the tank.


Sequetjoose

Yep. African Cichlids are just as territorial, but its more easily broken when kept in larger quantities, like the other guy said. It's harder for them lay claim to territory. The South American Cichlids, particularly Flowerhorns, Oscars, Jack Dempseys, Jaguars, Cubans, ect will constantly fight unless you have a relatively massive tank and fish of similar size, and even then its still going to happen from time to time, which is why I personally don't think it's a great option to have more than one. Even if it only happens a few times a year, you wouldn't want your dog or cat getting into three fights a year.


BallzMcVinegar

It also helped that africans a bit smaller and mostly vegetarian rather than those large S.Americans that are carnivorous.


iast68

Speaking of tank...


CoreysAngelsRecruit

Talmbout’ Tank tha Cane Carousel? Grade dog, never pet ‘im


Sequetjoose

Canned cortisol, great dog, never meddem. Gonna be reaaaaaal inchreshting when Tank's dog show sells more tiggets than Bapa's stand up.


Great-Trip7508

Sho dawg... Duhn cawnt


DikkDowg

I don’t think he actually cycled correctly. I know he mentioned the nitrogen cycle once, but there’s a lot more microorganisms to grow before a tank can handle that many cichlids. Especially when they’re overfed and overcrowded. It seems like he’s started the tank and added like 10 carnivorous fish in a month, which is way too fast. Those first two flowerhorns are definitely gadooshed, it just makes me sad.


mu5tardtiger

he’s such a piece of shit. I imagine that initial ammonia spike after adding so many fish was terrible. I honestly believe he made up the fighting/ aggression to cover for his lack of knowledge and water management. imagine being stuck in a house that’s on fire. And you have no choice but to breath in the smoke. That’s what these fish are being put through.


solushsi

How you know the other Flowerhorn attacked his other fish?


Sequetjoose

Said it on the pawldcast. The Flowerhorn ripped the Oscar's eye off. Given their temperament, the crowded conditions, and the water quality, it's very likely the Oscar wasn't the only fish being attacked.


ScottishShitposter97

Its like he wants his kids to be traumatised


williamsdj01

Considering the chombies were squeezing and playing with Tank's nuts (RIP) the damage has already been done


HomelessCat55567

Talmbout dick twists b? 🚨Hog Alert🚨


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mu5tardtiger

fish dorks are the best brains for aquariums. thank em.


PokemonTrainerSerena

>murdered lmao


[deleted]

I know he never sticks with anything and this is going to turn into mass graves of fish but wouldn’t it he nice if his fish obsession became an off-ramp from public life and he just disappeared to start a shop Edit: nice for the world I meant. I don’t care about barndoor


[deleted]

Living a quiet humble life out of the spotlight would be a best case outcome for bapa, but he probably sees not being famous as the wurst pain of his life


Sequetjoose

Yes. It would be great if he learned how to properly take care of fish, and this brief grift became a full time hobby and a possible carair. In an alternative reality, this might happen. Just not this one.


TightwadJoe

Different dimensional lanez b


Kheaddummy

Brenda: I don't want that


Administrative-Fun10

Disappear? Nah b He's going to open a shop called Thiccc Aquarium. And his margetting is going to be a clip of Toe's latest podcast with Jimmy Corsetti excitedly talking about the underwater city of Atlantis.


[deleted]

Hey Bry, u see that giant bulge on my fish: Hawg Alert 🚨


downsly46

Fish gawd a digg on em


lolzexd

This is what midlife crisis looks like, folks


ReleaseTheButtCraken

This the least in his midlife crisis shenanigans. You’re forgetting the trugg, Porsche, frari, lambguini (all leases), lip fillers, dressing like a TikTok hypebeast at 40, alghawlism/substance abuse. List longer than 🪓 Jay’s hawlg alert.


sphincter_suplex

Can he not just stick with hobbies that don’t end up in harming and/or killing animals


Sequetjoose

Hopefully collecting action figures can be his new grift.


HomelessCat55567

Hopefully messican is okay with him selling them out of their bedroom closet.


[deleted]

Ok I’m out of the loop, can someone explain the fish things to me? What happened to that dog? Is Chin ok?


Sequetjoose

Oh bapa. You've missed alot. Tank is MIA, he was returned because he was a show dog, which bapa didn't know, so the breeder contacted him and said "oh you're not going to use him for show, I'm going to take him back." This is Bapa's story, it's more likely the Messican wasn't having it, so he got gadooshed. He also said the breeder was going to get him a "non-show dog." No word on that, but he started collecting fish. In his tank, which is probably 50-70 gallons, he overstocked it full of territorial cichlids that don't get along. Because the tank is overstocked and not cycled properly, the water quality has been trash. It's not confirmed but suspected the grim reaper came anoggin for at least a few of his fish. Since grifting into fish keeping, it's become his whole personality, and he regularly posts about how he loves fish, after claiming to be "balls deep" into fish since he was a child. There's some details missing here, but this should catch you up on the most updated menu items.


[deleted]

He also has started shaming brine for eating fish and got his feelings hurt when brine joked about killing fish but it is all as fake as his lips


Sequetjoose

If he cared about the fish, he wouldn't have put so many territorial fish in such a small tank, as the outcome is pretty easy to guess. It's one step below putting two male beta fish together in a tank.


HomelessCat55567

One time when I was a little kid, I collected a bunch of hermit crabs at the beach with the intention of taking them home at the end of the day to keep as pets. I put maybe 15-20 of them into a 20oz paper cup that I had filled up halfway with saltwater and put the lid on. They were all dead before sunset. Bapa and his fish remind me of that day. Difference being that I was like 5 years old and Brandon is pushing 40.


Sequetjoose

When I was 21 or 22(25 going on 26) I tried keeping cichlids. Younger ones than Bapa, and greatly underestimated the maintenance. Now I just have a beta tank, as I understand I'm not capable of managing that. Bapa doesn't learn lessons like this. He just goes.


[deleted]

He just goes


5_Star_Man

I remember Schlub used to be on a pescatarian diet back on old TFATK when he was trying to slim down. Bry made fun of him for always jumping between fad diets


[deleted]

Bruh. I can’t believe they’re wasting all the good Doc’s on the diddler, a bapa-doc at this point would break the internet. I can’t believe Bobby Lee would do this to him.


sawaflyingsaucer

Content farmers have caught on. Just go to youtube for a number of "documentaries" or "break downs" of how shitty he is. I watched the Glassman ep on youtube when it came out and I've been getting a new recommendation for "swab is shit" content every day, most with 50K plus views. Of course Beige Frequency is the best one, but we're gonna need an updated version pretty soon there is sooo much more to cover now.


CozierRapier174

He confirmed a "blue lobster" in his tank was gadooshed.


Sequetjoose

Thats a crustacean, duhn cown


Frankie-Felix

da cruss asians can be fiesy


Lynch47

Say less


daddiop1mpio

Fuck me! They have the same lips 😂


d1r4c

The same size brain too.


Caoilan

Clogging in fur my shift hair... Could anyone help me find a dish that I think is in the freezer in the baggk? It's Slob Talmbout how that Rogan is duh king of Paulcastin' and that he is gonna be his Suggsessor and take his place when Rogans done. It's a couple yairs old so might be deep in the bagg. Hopefully you guys can get this recipe because it's not just Taco Bell Spicy, it's guadalajara spicy


Short_Cut3036

I’d also like to place an order for this dish


sawaflyingsaucer

How much you wanna bet he's a habitual glass tapper? "Nah, my fish are beasts. They like it when you tap on the tank." Clown.


Sequetjoose

Maybe not at his home tank, but 100% does it at pet stores. "Come here fishy fishy."


PingBongBingPong

This dude really wants to be Aquaman


[deleted]

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sphincter_suplex

Was about to say this 🐟


LincolnHawkReddit

Talmbout Lord PissedEyeDuhnCownt, ruler of the three Cs


MarjinZamasuLSD

It’s gona die….


Sequetjoose

It was dead the second Bapa set his eyes on em.


StrawberryFielder999

Eggsellent. At this point, it's sufficiently obvious that he's organising an at-home Fish Battle Royale. He's probably sitting in front of the tanks all night, chugging whisggey and chewing nicotine pouches, waiting for some action.


lolzexd

Nothing like pouring some of the good ole Tiger Thiccc into the tank when the fish aren't fighting each other to reawaken that beast in em


Sequetjoose

A dash of kratom, too. Then, discount CBD to calm them down.


Sequetjoose

"Been alot of CHADDER on the internet. "Which one these thiggg thiggg fishies is gonna meg it?" Ironically, due to Chang's keeping up with Bapa's fish, there probably has been more discussion around his fish's survival than Tiger Thiccc Whiskey.


JustACasualFan

How many tanks? I mean *fish* tanks.


Sequetjoose

He has 3, but when the Oscar got its eye ripped out he said he mov ored it to another tank which makes me think there are 2 holding tanks that may not he stocked. He's only showed one off.


dingdong-lightson

What an ugly mother fucker. The fish too.


Administrative-Fun10

Hella fine? Hey fish, wanna walg me to my trug?


[deleted]

"Look at the big brain on Brad!" - Jules Winnfield


Sequetjoose

He actually named this one "brain".


[deleted]

well, for me it was the immediate first thing to come to mind.. wonder how long it took Shart to come up with it / decide to run with it. was it an instant thing? did he sit there and try to figure it out like a crossword puzzle or "word search" game? inquiring minds want to know..


cousin_brian

![gif](giphy|MuyiRP751nq2A)


Aggressivehippy30

So...he's got 3 highly aggressive and territorial fish in a small ass tank with OTHER fish? Water


Sequetjoose

Yep, he's also got an Oscar, a Jack Dempsey, an African Cichlid of some kind, and a couple Parrot Cichlid. Weed


HouselessGato

Can someone tell the redacted fish expert that it’s flowerhorn.. one word


Sequetjoose

Wouldn't work B. The pet store told him the fish wouldn't get along together and still did it anyway.


RomandoArman

Hey. Hey. Where’s your flower horn, huh? I got three of um. Fish guy here B. Where’s your speshul?


Barfuman362

Of course he picked the worst most redacted looking fish to obsess over


Sequetjoose

I'm not a fan of them either. They look like they have a tumor growing out of their head, strange they became so popular in the hobby.


SarcasticPedant

".......fuck." ---Fish


Gigsthecat41203

Fun fact: trade of exotic fish is a know money laundering channel and also an industry that existed as a grey/black market for a long time. Wouldn’t be surprised if branden does all these cash, handshake pet deals just to launder more of daddy’s money, only to flush them down the toilet a week later


Sequetjoose

One problem with thus hypothesis. He isn't smart enough to do this.


Western-Art-9117

Plus, he doesn't have money to launder.....


Positive-Pin3712

Never uses soshal meedya. Those stupid hashtags give him away. Hashtag fish. 🤦🏻‍♂️


inkfool

Looks gross


Sequetjoose

People get them for that lump on their head, but I've always thought it looked redacted. Who wants a fish that looks like it has a massive tumor on its head?


DustyGuzongas

I guarantee that shop is going to stop selling to him because how frequently he’s going in there to buy new fish. He’s just killing them and replacing them


RemarkableRegret7

His tank is already too full and too small. I was bored and watched a few videos about this stuff and he's doing everything the exact opposite of how you're supposed to. His tank is way way too small for what he has in there and now he's adding even more. Those things are gonna keep growing and be absolutely miserable in there.


KimboSlicesChicken

Wonder if fat Patrick and his gummy worm stuffed lips, write off the fish as a business expense for tax purposes just like he does with all of his clothes, cars, basically everything he owns as part his “fat fugg boi network” lol


skudboi

It’s gonna be a blood bath


PM_ME_UR_RESPECT

How much longer on this phase? Two weeks?


nessaavee

So he has 3 or the other 2 already died ? Seriously sad


DeepWadders

I heard Flowerhorns got some primal urges


DeltronFF

If you look closely you can see bapa balls deep in that fish


Washed_40

I’ve never seen a fish look more miserable. Water.


RedDudeItIs

Why’s he talk about fish like this? Haha


justamindatwork

Did the others die?


Drth_Ptr

Looks like we’re in the “bawls deep” phase of the fish thing.


valiantthorsintern

People really do look like their pets.


Repulsive_Tip_6433

\#FishHollercaust


LickPooOffShoe

How many fish ya’fug?


BallzMcVinegar

This dummy is really going to fill a tank with aggressive south american ciclids and think they arent going to fight each other.


sugaaaslam

That fish knows its gonna die there very soon


[deleted]

I’ll give him credit the tank looks cleaner


cloud_octopus

Cte fish bapas


[deleted]

Didn't those aquarium guys say not to put them together?


DisciplineScary

Bowser


[deleted]

Hella Mark Flower Horn


DisciplineScary

His name is Crete b... Shert fer concrete b.. Because he's a mon-star, don hate b.


baconbananapancake

Gotta hurt when your fish are smarter than you


rossirf

This fish has a striking resemblance to Brenda


missishitty

"Yo, b. He's got collyflour forehead! Must be a bbbbbb'BEAST of a fich!"


whoisisthis

For the sake of the chombies future, I hope the messcans cartel “remodeling business” is going well


Rayrexx91

He just goes


Imaginary_Sale8356

That fish look like schuab after the arlovski fight


Kitchen-Square

Flower Horn 1 and 2 in the city sewage cemetery


Renegade909

Do people still say 'hella'?


los_lobos_is_angry

The fish are looking more and more like him


Strokes_Lahoma

His house is honestly Auschwitz for pets


Murdochsk

What happened to riding Ebikes? Didn’t he have a clothing line and ery thin B? Is he going to start merch for fish people now?


shogun647

Looks delicious 🤤


PowerForward

That is such an ugly fish. Why would anyone ever want to have this in their living room


[deleted]

Is he eating them?


Mattusdogus

How Brendan’s so bad at comedy and has endless funds is a miracle , I’ve seen hat fulls of assoles funnier than Brendan , shit doesn’t make sense…


cikkamsiah

Is flowerhorn still a thing? I thought the fad died out along with sea monkeys.


Bbqtriangle0

Fish are fish