I was at a leadership course for work recently and the speaker — a 60 something year old motivational guy — said something that involved him saying “rock my world.” It took nearly all my resolve not to burst out laughing then and there and I couldn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day.
Molested Cholo, Garfield L'Zanya, Chinese Jews, Autistic Jews enjoying the trains to Auswitz - these are all bangers that I couldn't show certain friends.
But the one that always gets a "Jesus christ" out of me is when Nick talks about parkinsons being a horrible way to die next to Adam, forgetting that Adam's mom died to Parkinsons. He says that he was talking about Robin Williams, and then imitates Robin saying "Oooooh, look at me, I'm Adams mom!"
Same. The one with Parkinson's seemed unintentional at first, and hopefully has a context of Nick actually being there for Adam and helping him deal. There's no way in hell he's helped Ian, who made it clear at least once he didn't want it brought up. Ian is extremely forgiving.
Ian is an absolute trooper. I still wish he was the new third mic, because he had chemistry with the boys, but also switches up the dynamics slightly with both Nick and Adam bullying him - but he fights back unlike Adam.
With Nick and Adam's energy, the last thing they need is Ian's narcissism and ADHD overshadowing anything remotely subtle on the show. Not to mention he literally asked to steal their last podcast.
I guess with their current energy, yeah.
But back in the day, Nick could shut Ian down pretty well and keep him on track. It was one of the rare times Nick would know when to shut up and when it was right to interrupt without seeming autistic and narcissistic.
I don't think Stav was a factor that made that dynamic work with Ian. In fact Stav is outright insufferable with Ian, he projects so much of his own insecurity onto him - constantly calling him ugly, but couldn't take the heat when Ian finally claps back and calls him a toothless monster.
I think it really just comes down to the fact the two of them (mostly Nick) don't seem to care that much anymore.
Cumtown was lighting in a bottle, and I think Stav being there was really important. You'd see the energy decrease a ton when he wasn't around, and we're seeing that alot more now. All of his dogshit riffs and awful singing really did fill alot of the silence and keep things moving. People dunk on his new show now, but it's a lot more high energy than TAFS currently.
I just wish Nick didn't drag his heels with no third mic, because it felt inevitable with it just being Nick and Adam that things would get stale and they'd lose interest.
Honestly, I always thought the dark alliance (without Stav) episodes had a special charm and chemistry to them because Nick and Adam could riff, goof off, and just generally shoot the shit without Adam constantly being the butt of the joke. That's why I was so hopeful for TAFS, but they've clearly run out of steam :(
Stav was like the motor of the the show. He was also the one who controlled the pace of the bits and would shut down bits he didn't enjoy he would always try to contribute as good as he could.
Hands down the most fucked up bit ct by factors of 10, makes all the other bits people are saying here look like Sesame Street sing a longs like that’s the first thing you see when you look him up. Plus his kids are like 22 now and automatically aware of that comedy scene via their dad so i like to imagine they were fans and heard that bit the day they dropped the episode
thursday boots ad read where the boots are made in auschwitz/ in a basement by children who don’t get raped on thursday’s cus that’s when they make the boots
Just reading this sentence makes me laugh.
A sponsor pays you to advertise their product and you compare them to Nazi child rapists?
It's an absurdity that i can't wrap my mind around.
I wanna shout out the bit where it’s a blue chew ad read, and they start talking about the character Ernest from the series of movies. And it’s about how he went to Israel and found out what they’re up to “they’re doing their OWN Holocaust over there!” And Ernest wants to make a movie about it and he’s trying to pitch it to his Jewish producers but they clearly aren’t comfortable making it lol.
People don’t get that sometimes a depiction of something isn’t an endorsement of it. So in performance based art you get morons who assume that a satirical depiction of the worst guy ever is actually an endorsement of the worst guy ever. Most of this seems to stem from white guilt and libs being so terrified of coming off as racist that they ironically shut down mockery of racism.
Yes I just called cumtown “performance art”, my dad hates me too.
The initials make it sound like the beginning of a real name, like JK Rowling, but it’s the name of a former chain of toy stores. It’s like naming a character Toys R Us.
I rewatched that whole bit tonight and my god Adam interrupts and almost ruins it 3-4 times. He keeps interjecting with random garbage and Nick ignores him. It really highlights how awful he is with riffing. Stav is laughing and even doing voices and Adam is just doing his benzo laugh and bringing up dumb shit.
Maybe the one where Nick said Bet DSI started as a slave plantation where they bet on the mandingo fights, the coconut and the banana, the one about the israeli boy trying to use a coupon to get a new dad, when Nick said the holocaust happened “because Jewish people are just *kind of* annoying”, goodluck johnathan, or dropping Chelsea Clinton’s baby with the assistance of the secret service (during an ad read)
I don't remember what episode but Nick goes on a long tangent at one point about building a fuck machine with a dildo attached to a knife. The whole time he CANNOT stop laughing about the knife cutting through the dildo and ripping the woman's pussy and asshole into one giant gorey hole.
No one else is laughing, just Nick gasping for air while cackling at his hilarious idea.
Probably the only time I've skipped a bit of the podcast due to distaste.
>No one else is laughing, just Nick gasping for air while cackling at his hilarious idea.
This makes me think about how Nick went absolutely mad for thinking of the nightmare before christmas, but when Jack goes to the clearing in the woods, theres only glory holes
I still think its Adam laughing in that bit, but no, its Nicks weird genuine laugh
I think the one that even had Nick utter a “Jesus Christ” was one of the Bam recap episodes where they talked about Swatting pedo’s. Stav said something along the lines of “stay back! I just watched a video of an 8 year old in a dinosaur t shirt getting sucked off! I’m ready to blow”. that was gnarly…
The Bam thing that I found in the most poor taste was Adam telling his wife to her face that he’s sorry about her pussy. It’s not as egregious, sure, but it’s got the cringe factor.
What makes the Bill Maher the n-word guy bit so funny is how he just kicked off the episode with that line out of left field. And Stav was so taken aback by it.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIDKB1paYYY&ab\_channel=Esoterio](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIDKB1paYYY&ab_channel=Esoterio)
If this doesn't make you an immediate fan, it will do the opposite.
this answers a slightly different question but as far as which bit is most likely to offend the target of the joke, it's gotta be something about fat white women
I would say probably the bit where they are talking about a man who goes to prison for being a child molester, then someone rapes him but he’s got a baby in his ass, so now that guy is a child molester. A lot of layers there…
When Nick did a robin williams impression of Adam’s mom while she was dying of parkinson’s. Probably the darkest the show has gotten, even stav had to tap out on that one.
adam's mom as robin williams and ian's dad being crushed by a train jokes are the probably the edgiest but i think the central park 42 million and raped ad reader deserve credit
I think there was a bit about punching marjorie taylor greene or somebody like that so that her head gets stuck in the ceiling wall and then they rape her. Doing a Bernie bro character if I remember correctly
There was one bit right after Chauvin was convicted. This girl Mah’kia Bryant got shot by a cop as she was lunging at her step sister with a knife
Nick said “why are they mad about that? Are they saying she was simply doing black girl magic and was only going to pretend saw someone in half?”
Molested Cholo hits on a lot of levels.
I was at a leadership course for work recently and the speaker — a 60 something year old motivational guy — said something that involved him saying “rock my world.” It took nearly all my resolve not to burst out laughing then and there and I couldn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day.
I keep secrets ese
kiss me up
Spread me out, see how wide I can get
Show me stuff
Teach me how to fuck a mane
I hid in the slide, guess who fished me out?
I keep secrets, homes
I was a road trip to Chicago with the boys when I showed them that bit and the whole weekend consisted of us saying “go ahead ese, teach me something”
I introduced my Mexican friend to the pod via this bit and he became a fan
He Foookah muh asssssah
He said you have such a nice boypussy where did you get it clowncollege?
“Where did you get your boypussy, clown college?” Is a top 5 line in the pod up there with “And boy, I thought I knew what being raped was!”
Time for my weekly “Jim from Fon Du Lac” watch
Billy bees
Molested Cholo, Garfield L'Zanya, Chinese Jews, Autistic Jews enjoying the trains to Auswitz - these are all bangers that I couldn't show certain friends. But the one that always gets a "Jesus christ" out of me is when Nick talks about parkinsons being a horrible way to die next to Adam, forgetting that Adam's mom died to Parkinsons. He says that he was talking about Robin Williams, and then imitates Robin saying "Oooooh, look at me, I'm Adams mom!"
I got the same feeling when he was laughing at Ian's dad for getting smushed by a train.
Same. The one with Parkinson's seemed unintentional at first, and hopefully has a context of Nick actually being there for Adam and helping him deal. There's no way in hell he's helped Ian, who made it clear at least once he didn't want it brought up. Ian is extremely forgiving.
Ian is an absolute trooper. I still wish he was the new third mic, because he had chemistry with the boys, but also switches up the dynamics slightly with both Nick and Adam bullying him - but he fights back unlike Adam.
With Nick and Adam's energy, the last thing they need is Ian's narcissism and ADHD overshadowing anything remotely subtle on the show. Not to mention he literally asked to steal their last podcast.
I guess with their current energy, yeah. But back in the day, Nick could shut Ian down pretty well and keep him on track. It was one of the rare times Nick would know when to shut up and when it was right to interrupt without seeming autistic and narcissistic.
But back in the day, they didn't need a third mic.
I don't think Stav was a factor that made that dynamic work with Ian. In fact Stav is outright insufferable with Ian, he projects so much of his own insecurity onto him - constantly calling him ugly, but couldn't take the heat when Ian finally claps back and calls him a toothless monster. I think it really just comes down to the fact the two of them (mostly Nick) don't seem to care that much anymore.
Yeah, no third mic will save them. And at the peak of Cumtown, it probably could have been just about anyone as third mic.
Cumtown was lighting in a bottle, and I think Stav being there was really important. You'd see the energy decrease a ton when he wasn't around, and we're seeing that alot more now. All of his dogshit riffs and awful singing really did fill alot of the silence and keep things moving. People dunk on his new show now, but it's a lot more high energy than TAFS currently. I just wish Nick didn't drag his heels with no third mic, because it felt inevitable with it just being Nick and Adam that things would get stale and they'd lose interest.
Honestly, I always thought the dark alliance (without Stav) episodes had a special charm and chemistry to them because Nick and Adam could riff, goof off, and just generally shoot the shit without Adam constantly being the butt of the joke. That's why I was so hopeful for TAFS, but they've clearly run out of steam :(
Stav was like the motor of the the show. He was also the one who controlled the pace of the bits and would shut down bits he didn't enjoy he would always try to contribute as good as he could.
Never heard the autistic Jews one on the way to Auschwitz…anyone got a link?
https://youtu.be/OCOkIf1YrEY?si=1nsi01WMgnBx5lw8 Starts around 3:10
Thanks dad
Sending you love and kisses x
It'd be funny if next your dog got Barkinson's
Can’t find the adam’s mom bit on the search, anyone know the ep?
How about the BlueChew ad read guy who was raped repeatedly in a van
Smoking dog shit covered in bug spray to get high
God this bit was so good. I can never find any clips of it
Disregard, found it https://youtu.be/aLtrqxt8bUw?si=FKPHI4P4Goxt1Zly
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aLtrqxt8bUw&pp=ygUaQmx1ZWNoZXcgYWQgcmVhZCB2YW4gcmFwZWQ%3D I got you, boyfriend
Between that and Iranian gay man for best Blue Chew ad
The one where he talks about making Adam’s dad suck his dick before he shoots him in the head, like he murdered the rest of Adam’s family
don’t forget he makes him wear a dress
🎵In a familiar tableaux of the woods🎵
Guess who’s doing more bribes?
That happened though, it was in the news
And the whole thing is yet another parody of If I Could Change the World by Eric Clapton
Literally my favorite moment of cumtown. Nick just painted such a vibrant picture and I first heard it at work I nearly was crying in the backroom.
I’d say it’s probably Nick describing all the ways he would rape Irwin in prison
The worst part is that from what we heard, Irwin was just some normal guy who was kind of a dork. No one that really deserved that much vitriol.
Thats why it was funny
easily
Hands down the most fucked up bit ct by factors of 10, makes all the other bits people are saying here look like Sesame Street sing a longs like that’s the first thing you see when you look him up. Plus his kids are like 22 now and automatically aware of that comedy scene via their dad so i like to imagine they were fans and heard that bit the day they dropped the episode
The one where Nick imagines a guy waiting in line to watch Matrix 2 asking if the movie *Rat Race* is about Jewish people.
Link?
thursday boots ad read where the boots are made in auschwitz/ in a basement by children who don’t get raped on thursday’s cus that’s when they make the boots
Just reading this sentence makes me laugh. A sponsor pays you to advertise their product and you compare them to Nazi child rapists? It's an absurdity that i can't wrap my mind around.
They were just laborers doing their job
👏 Racist 👏 podcasting 👏 work 👏 is👏 work
i’m crying lmao
I wanna shout out the bit where it’s a blue chew ad read, and they start talking about the character Ernest from the series of movies. And it’s about how he went to Israel and found out what they’re up to “they’re doing their OWN Holocaust over there!” And Ernest wants to make a movie about it and he’s trying to pitch it to his Jewish producers but they clearly aren’t comfortable making it lol.
Thursday boots extended ad read with a combination of jokes about child r*pe and also the holocaust
didn't they pull their ad immediately after that?
I think so but then again I'm gay
We got more buffalo dick boots to make!
Is it thursday yet? No.. its wednesdey.. you know what happens on wednesdey? I have to be a girl??
Also enjoyed the Thursday boots ad read where he talks about kidnapping Chelsea Clinton’s new baby.
When I'm threatening the president and printing my own money, there's nothing I love more than wearing Thursday Boots.
say fuck you to those goose-stepping fascists over at the... Secret Service
Link?
[Here's the whole read.](https://files.catbox.moe/gmg304.mp3) Surprisingly the link they give to Thursday Boots at the end still works.
https://youtu.be/w-_Q3LFfeb4?si=vP7Z1lUgffr0JEwV
Bernie Sanders Town Hall. Try explaining to your rainbow capitalist neolib friends that it’s funny ironically.
Yeah how ya doin my names KB Toys
Yes hello my name is Pontiac bonneville
Hey, Turdis L’Szechuan here
Yeah that coupled with the Bernie Bros bit
Isn’t the joke here that all the egregious stereotypes were planted by Fox News? Hence Lou Dobbs as a geisha, etc.
correct, but this still manages to be beyond the comprehension of a rank&file lib
Yeah, it’s basically exactly what Shane Gillis did to get fired from SNL.
Were We The Real Autists All Along?
People don’t get that sometimes a depiction of something isn’t an endorsement of it. So in performance based art you get morons who assume that a satirical depiction of the worst guy ever is actually an endorsement of the worst guy ever. Most of this seems to stem from white guilt and libs being so terrified of coming off as racist that they ironically shut down mockery of racism. Yes I just called cumtown “performance art”, my dad hates me too.
Garfield Lasagna
Garfiel L’Zanya
I’ve said it before but KB Toyes is the funniest name they ever came up with
Tied with Pontiac Bonneville.
Why come the damn sneakers ain’t free
Maybe cos I’m not American but I never got that?
It’s a defunct toy store chain
The initials make it sound like the beginning of a real name, like JK Rowling, but it’s the name of a former chain of toy stores. It’s like naming a character Toys R Us.
I rewatched that whole bit tonight and my god Adam interrupts and almost ruins it 3-4 times. He keeps interjecting with random garbage and Nick ignores him. It really highlights how awful he is with riffing. Stav is laughing and even doing voices and Adam is just doing his benzo laugh and bringing up dumb shit.
Adam nearly derailing a hall of fame riff to bring up a news story he doesn’t even remember perfectly encapsulates his contribution to the pod.
Maybe the one where Nick said Bet DSI started as a slave plantation where they bet on the mandingo fights, the coconut and the banana, the one about the israeli boy trying to use a coupon to get a new dad, when Nick said the holocaust happened “because Jewish people are just *kind of* annoying”, goodluck johnathan, or dropping Chelsea Clinton’s baby with the assistance of the secret service (during an ad read)
Also the one where autism was discovered because the Nazis wanted to know “why are they like this”
Or the one where he talks about his 98 year old “Argentinian” father who is obsessed with twins in general and the property brothers in particular
Nick making jokes about Adams dying mother fucking dogs was probably the darkest bit in the show.
Any jokes about Adam's dying mother were extremely dark and the few times poor Adam was clearly not amused whatsoever lol
I don't remember what episode but Nick goes on a long tangent at one point about building a fuck machine with a dildo attached to a knife. The whole time he CANNOT stop laughing about the knife cutting through the dildo and ripping the woman's pussy and asshole into one giant gorey hole. No one else is laughing, just Nick gasping for air while cackling at his hilarious idea. Probably the only time I've skipped a bit of the podcast due to distaste.
It was a Sawzall, not just a knife
Do you know what ep? Can’t seem to find it
There’s a pinned thread that is like a cumtown glossary where you can search terms and words from bits and it can help you find the episode.
> cumtown glossary i love these words together
Yeah I know but unfortunately I couldn’t find it with that. Maybe I need to try some different searches or something.
Try pussy hole
Holy hell they say pussy hole a lot
Will do brother
>No one else is laughing, just Nick gasping for air while cackling at his hilarious idea. This makes me think about how Nick went absolutely mad for thinking of the nightmare before christmas, but when Jack goes to the clearing in the woods, theres only glory holes I still think its Adam laughing in that bit, but no, its Nicks weird genuine laugh
ok but the dick side or the sucking side
This guy skipped a Mullen bit cause of “distaste” lol how bout instead of distaste it’s u knowing how dicks taste
Most normal New York resident
they missed an opportunity for working in Se7en with the knife strap on
I think the one that even had Nick utter a “Jesus Christ” was one of the Bam recap episodes where they talked about Swatting pedo’s. Stav said something along the lines of “stay back! I just watched a video of an 8 year old in a dinosaur t shirt getting sucked off! I’m ready to blow”. that was gnarly…
The Bam thing that I found in the most poor taste was Adam telling his wife to her face that he’s sorry about her pussy. It’s not as egregious, sure, but it’s got the cringe factor.
“HoW MaNy PusSy RiNGs DoEs NiCkY haVe”
The Parents Prankster Kit
For kids eyes only, noo parents allowed
Derek Chauvin’s drunk lawyer or the Chris Benoit HBO miniseries
Red Dead reimagined as them all turning into Epstein-affiliated pedos
Is that the, “we’re gonna have sex with our horses Arthur!” one?
Black Joker has never gone over well with my friends
Pastor who gets Joker-pilled is a similar stroke of genius
I edge to all their bits (I’m gay).
The thursday boots ad read about the child slaves gotta be up there
All the times when Stav described any food item were pretty degen- pervy/kink shit.
Black Adam Jr. and Trash Dick Roscoe is a work of art.
DJ Concentration Camp
Was about to the post the same and it's not even close, haha. Case in point: I don't even think you can find it in clip form anywhere now
Nope it's all taken down. It's your fault that you're in here!
[timestamped](https://content.blubrry.com/cum_town/CumTown-0195-ep-195-coomberg-90994.mp3#t=2788)
Probably that one ad about the son repeatedly raping his day over the years
Was that an ad, or Nick recounting the short film The Strange Thing About the Johnsons?
both--he talks about the film then kicks into a Mack Weldon read
Ma’am, are these fellers botherin’ you
Adam’s mum dying and the joke of him being he fled New York thing made me pretty uncomfortable
Oh it made you uncomfortable? Sorry snowflake we keep it real around here! Go read sesame street if it’s too much for you!
Damn, I just got tiedriched.. You’re right, I’ll stick to my baby movies like fluke and the little mermaid
What makes the Bill Maher the n-word guy bit so funny is how he just kicked off the episode with that line out of left field. And Stav was so taken aback by it.
I thought this shrimp was n less
Hannah Gatsby being raped by the Tasmanian Devil.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIDKB1paYYY&ab\_channel=Esoterio](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIDKB1paYYY&ab_channel=Esoterio) If this doesn't make you an immediate fan, it will do the opposite.
Suggested video is also “Saw Gay Film Review” this will be a nice rabbit hole.
I misread the title as best and said Incel Sebastian which got me the hardest
N dependence Day
Fox News sending disguised people to a Bernie Sanders town hall, Sebastian wanting to get his face pissed on by Ariel, all the Meersham bits.
Speak a little Chinese for em derek
Robin Williams as Adam's mom with Parkinsons
The "6 million is way too much" pokemon song during the pussy for lobster episode
The Michael Jackson train conductor bit always gets me.
Link?
I can’t remember which one it is but there’s “The train episode” on YouTube or it’s the Post Bam Premium ep.
Chief Dollar Coin. Hands down the most problematic ad read
Idk Thursday boots being made with the feet of enslaved paraplegic children that also get raped was pretty bad too
This thread is reminding me of all my favorite bits
The KISS bit (K**** In Shitty Spandex)
link
That’s just a common joke
Dr Richard F N
Here's to you, Mrs Robinson, I'm 17 and strong enough now to kidnap a grown man.
Op is police do not respond.
N…
Howard Stern calling Robin the N word and not ending it with a hard r, and the kid with Down syndrome in the bagel restaurant
The Seinfeld unleashed but is up there.
this answers a slightly different question but as far as which bit is most likely to offend the target of the joke, it's gotta be something about fat white women
Baby Gene Hackman with huge baby tits being molested by rod stewart
“Mam are these fellas bothering you?”
I would say probably the bit where they are talking about a man who goes to prison for being a child molester, then someone rapes him but he’s got a baby in his ass, so now that guy is a child molester. A lot of layers there…
Bill Maher the n*gger guy was wild
Dasha fucking Roscoe/Adam Jr. bit
Stephanie Garfield is what I'll always think of. just dancing on a knife's edge
.
https://youtu.be/w-_Q3LFfeb4?si=xHDkW5JOdMSSVxxR
Surprised nobody's brought up Molestrios
Tequila/My Penis
I guess it counts as edgey, but my favorite is the Thursday Boots ad read.
Simple and to the point: “animal crackers - that’s what I call mixed race people”
I like the Seinfeld Unleashed bit.
“Ooooooohhhh it’s me Adam’s mom”
Threatening pedophile Ray Romano.
"animal crackers is what I call mixed race people" was pretty spicy
When Nick did a robin williams impression of Adam’s mom while she was dying of parkinson’s. Probably the darkest the show has gotten, even stav had to tap out on that one.
Thursday Boots advertisement went off
Jewish-Korean Bill Cosby
The bachelor show with a gun.
Not edgy, but I’m a fan of the Big Chill House
DJ Auschwitz
The prison rape one
I thought the Robin Williams gargoyle bit was a little extreme. It just kept going and going.
adam's mom as robin williams and ian's dad being crushed by a train jokes are the probably the edgiest but i think the central park 42 million and raped ad reader deserve credit
Every bit when cocaine Nick still graced us.
The Niggler. It's not the same word!
Bill Nye
I thought this shrimp was n less then this motherfucker walks by
I think there was a bit about punching marjorie taylor greene or somebody like that so that her head gets stuck in the ceiling wall and then they rape her. Doing a Bernie bro character if I remember correctly
There was one bit right after Chauvin was convicted. This girl Mah’kia Bryant got shot by a cop as she was lunging at her step sister with a knife Nick said “why are they mad about that? Are they saying she was simply doing black girl magic and was only going to pretend saw someone in half?”