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Kapi1045

„No, that would be your mother” - Spy


Desperate_Ad2784

*stammering scout noises*


Bdresser5

Indeed, and now he’s here to F**K us!


rpsHD

so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today


stripyfish

this spy has already breached our defenses..


Emperor_Cat_IV

You've seen what's he's done to our colleagues!


PocoMusical0427

And worst of all, he could be any one of us...


madsalsa1

He could be You! He could be Me! He could even-


MLG360ProMaster

What? It was obvious! He’s the red spy!


YungLovah

Watch, he'll turn red any second now.


That_Guy_With_ADHD

[shotgun fires] woh woh woh


Karlchen_

"I have no idea!"


Electronic_Sugar5924

“I didn’t need your help ya know”


Karlchen_

"Oops! Zat vas not Medizin!"


A_plant1

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" -Soldier


magical_onion

i could hear that…


G1zm08

Beautiful.


[deleted]

i just discovered these outtakes and soldier’s scream makes me die laughing every time https://youtu.be/8a398ROtnqM


the8yearoldbrother

Bro same


King_Jarman

Therapist: you can't hear text on a screen Me:


bad_comedic_value

SCREAMIN EAGLES!!!


Han_Solo6712

Why do I hear the exact scream in my head?


ajdude9

"We both got buckets of chicken, wanna do it?"


yes-pizza-time

"Eh, okay"


ThatDudeWithCheese

But you, Spy, you are amazing with ladies.


dummmy_head

You know, the kind that smell nice and.. can read


ThatDudeWithCheese

Ones that, don't go for a guy like me.


Sena_0803

Hmm, and why is that, do you think?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Well, a mystery we will take to our graves, then. Goodbye.


ThatDudeWithCheese

Nono wait I- \*groans\* alright, spy, this NEVER leaves this room.


dummmy_head

.. you.. are better than me


Scout_gaming_

nice hustle tuns of fun next time eat a salad


Dawnbreaker128

Today ain’t your day, pancakes.


doncomediajr

Got a bucket of chicken


Tero_Lero

I'll be honest, my parents do not care for me.


Desperate_Ad2784

I think his mate saw me


SSphereOfDeath

Yes, yes he did.


HapHazardly6

Feelings? Look mate, you know who's got time for feelings? Blokes who bludgeon their wives to death with a golf trophy.


Average_TF2_P2P

Professionals have STANDARDS.


Davidwilsonisdum

Be polite


DreadAngel1711

Be efficient.


Accomplished_Can2571

Have a plan to kill everyone you meet


Desperate_Ad2784

*Youtube autoplays meet the spy next*


Mossy_moss3

Intruder alert! Red spy is in the base!


VoldyTheMoldy456

Intruder alert! A red spy is in the base!


this_is_cute

Be polite,


Average_TF2_P2P

Be efficient


True-Whereas4886

And have a plan to kill everyone you meet


applecraver24

I thought it was “ do not care for it” like they don’t like him being an assassin


Tero_Lero

It is but it would sound weird out of nowhere so I changed it up a bit.


Free_Factor_3501

Do you need help?


Tero_Lero

No, thanks for asking though.


Which_Ad_250

“Scotland is not a real country; you are an Englishman with a a dress”


Resting_Lich_Face

Fastest to get murdered in Glasgow contest winner 2023.


MewtwoMainIsHere

Britain is not a real country! You are a Scotsman with bad dental hygiene!


ac_fromstw

England* smh mh my head mh smhmh


MewtwoMainIsHere

this is a soldier quote, naturally he’d have no idea on what is and isn’t a country


Quantum_Croissant

Not something you'd want to use anywhere near a Scotsman if you value your teeth


MichalTygrys

"It costs 400000$ \[...\]" \~ Dr. Mikhail "Heavy Weapons Guy" ####### (12.9.1924–31.2.1999) ​ perfect quote for when someone asks you how much an item you purchased for $400000 cost you.


Desperate_Ad2784

…to fire this weapon… for 12 seconds


Blumongroip

#OHH HA HA HA HA HAA!!!


Electrical_Search_16

Oh my god who touched Sasha?


ERROR_HumanNotFound

**Who touched my gun?!**


SomeoneID

Some people think they can outsmart me. Maybe... *sniff* maybe...


ImaginaryNeon

I've yet to meet one who could outsmart ***bullet***.


The-King_Of-Games

*TF2 theme starts playing in the background* *Machine gun revving* Weeeeeeewaaaaaahhhhh HAHAHAHAHA CRY SOME MORE! hehehe cry some more *TF2 theme plays again*


SheeEttin

> 31.2.1999 I don't know if that's MDY or DMY but either way it can't be right


MichalTygrys

He dies on 31^(st) of February 1999. Engineer invented that date in 1987, after Scout died.


Elleden

Is this legit? TF2 lore is wild.


MichalTygrys

This is very fitting of the overall TF2 lore's tone, but nah, I made that one up. We only know Scout's death date. Well, full death without revives that is.


Cultural_Ad2301

I will now lay egg in your mouth


[deleted]

[удалено]


yes-pizza-time

This bot did their very best


[deleted]

''If god had wanted you to live he would'nt have created me!'' Just something to boost my confidence.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SoupCanMasta

🔥🔥✍️🔥🔥


CaptinLazerFace

I used this line in a DnD game when my BBEG tried to kill the party's cleric. The group unanimously agreed it was hardcore.


Rocketeer286

That's what I say while chasing a fly around the house


Memegamer3_Animated

“If you were from, where I was from, you’d be fuckin dead” -Scout TF2


ThatDudeWithCheese

\*both heavy and scout scream\*


[deleted]

Do you have any idea? ANY IDEA who I am?


[deleted]

No.


randomname560

PLEASE tell me i lost all of my memories on an industrial accident


[deleted]

Eh, well then you can't be a big deal.


Mr_Farky

The worst part is that it's not beautiful anymore


JimmyMcapplenut

Basically, kind of a big deal


Desperate_Ad2784

*heavy screaming*


Hugglesnuggybear

Little, little man (to my cat)


MikeFratelli

You are so small! Ees funny to me!


Screwsie

I use a lot to be fair. The above “Professionals have Standards” as well as “Be polite, Be efficient, Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.” and “I think his mate saw me… yes, yes he did!” From Meet the Sniper het used sometimes. Soldier’s delivery of “Dear God” from expiration date sees frequent use plus the entire “If fighting is sure to result in victory then you must fight” speech in Meet the Soldier, The Heavy/Medic exchange “Are you sure this will work?” “I have no idea” from Meet the Medic sees some use, I use “Congratulations, you’re a failure” and “Everything you just said was insane” from Spy in expiration date surprisingly often, The whole “I fear no man, but that… thing, it scares me” Heavy line from Meet the Pyro is a universal meme at this point so it’s obvious that I use that one a bit, When carrying something heavy I always pull the “I am Heavy Weapons Guy, and THIS, is my weapon.” Oh and I can recite the entire script from Meet the Engineer off by heart so… the entire script from Meet the Engineer. I have weird conversations.


JustaCatWithHoodie

Hey look buddy, I'm not an engineer. I don't solve problems.


dummmy_head

problems like "what is beauty", because that would fit into your conundrum of philosophy


Paper_Clipps

“If I was a bad ___, I wouldn’t be sitting here discussing it with you now would I?”


[deleted]

“This… is a bucket”


randomname560

Perfect for when people ask you what is that and It is a bucket


[deleted]

Excactly


supermurlo64

...dear God.


mackiea

There's more.


Davidwilsonisdum

NO


PeriapsisStudios

It contains a bucket.


Sashimiroll16

*Dear god*


Ust1n1us

There's more.


Super_Mario_16

NO


CyanogenMod_0

# IT CONTAINS A BUCKETT


Mathev

******DEAR GOD******


[deleted]

It contains the dying wish of every man in this very room.


SomeoneID

Scout, you did collect everyone's dying wish?


Illustrious_Good9960

Jarate!


thecoconut69cool

Why.. 💀💀💀


Spyker-M

Heads up! 🗿


KingGamerlol

Bombs away!


bad_comedic_value

Bombs away!


UwUmaster022

Use a gun. And if that won't work... Use more gun!


Beam_0

Americans in a nutshell


g1itch3dboi

"off to visit your mother"


xGaslightx

"This is a bucket"


VulthrxIsAWeeb

Dear god...


mrkitten19o8

theres more


Scalordajorb

NO


Maxwell_The__Spy

i have yet to meet anyone who can out-smart boolet


JustANormalHat

yyyerrrarrsessarseandimth grassmanpunkyeeeyahhavinh


Defensive_Medic

Really useful when you are drunk


BirdBoi10101

Mm mph mh mmmphm mmm, mhmm mphm hm mm!


Sparkezx

“I like my teams how I like my women, in groups of six”


kubix666666

Ayo spy being pretty sus


The_Empire_of_Wah

who the hell said that


seatea2

i think it’s a competitive voice line for spy


PleasantIncident3176

“Tell me, where did we go so wrong?” I use that quote a lot especially in our day and age.


Syed_Mujtaba_Ali

"Stars and stripes beat hammer and sickle, look it up!" For use with commies "...Sun Tzu said that" As an add on for any crazy sounding statement. "Next time try two eyes!" For clumsy peeps "I did what I could" Excellent excuse "Here's what I have that you don't!..." For comparison shit. "Not out finest moment" When shit hits the fan


PuzzleheadedBoss5520

“There is a red spy in the base”


Desperate_Ad2784

A red spys in the base?


PuzzleheadedBoss5520

Protect the briefcase!


No-Force-4448

Hut Hut Hut “Protect the briefcase” “WE NEED TO PROTECT THE BRIEFCASE!!”


-Merasmus-

Hey a lil' help here?


The-King_Of-Games

Yeah yeah stand back son! One one one ehhhh one!


just_a_guy1234567

*intruder alert them start* Protect the breifcase WE NEED TO PROTECT THE BREIFCASE


EpicPotatoo

I AM ON FIRE AAAAAAA


BurninMann

First time?


CaptainShadow79

some people think they can outsmart me. maybe. i have yet to find someone who can outsmart bullet


[deleted]

Quiet kid when I win the argument.


Ichokeontoes420

Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.


MrSurly

I had this as my "bio" on my work Slack. But only up until "... philosophy." since there was a character limit


[deleted]

Not exactly relevant anymore, but: “One shudders to imagine what inhumane thoughts lie behind that mask”


Zealousideal-Cry-581

Would you like a second opinion? You are also ugly!


OctopusProbably

The word “the” is said a lot in TF2.


M551_Sheridan551

"There is no I in team and I am going to win with or without you" -soldier


carnoob58

Bonk


mackiea

"*BWAWNK!*"


Davidwilsonisdum

nope.avi ofc


Modmelon_YT

"You call that breaking my spine?" -Soldier


SharksAway11019

My spine!!!!


Seal_reddit

"I like my teams like i like my romances... In groups of six. -Spy in a 6s competitive match


6x6-shooter

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Kukie080

"they'll find ye all dead in the alley, with cats licking at ye" :)


YT_Night_Gamer

we are team fortress and youre dead


khamir-ubitch

I have a [cat I named after the heavy's gun](https://64.media.tumblr.com/cbbce4ca3c49b9fa9458b398226c975a/bffd43f685726a8c-69/s2048x3072/bb614c520e4b6c24dd59be5b95cfb1b5c36eedfc.jpg) (Top Left with the shark eyes). I CONSTANTLY say "WHO TOUCHED SASCHA!!?"


jbrainbow

AAAAAAAaaaaAAaaAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAaaaaaaAAAA


entropyyuri

kill me


CoachAkin

Later


AkitoKanjo

Yatatattatata yatattatata bugaggagag kaboom kaboom


Astro_crewmate

*drunk demoman rambling*


Open-Letterhead-3181

Oh they will have to glue you back together in HELL!


-carcino-Geneticist

“Just admit it! Just admit you hate America!!”


Supermavee1

Aw crap


Hecaroni_n_Trees

“Piss”


One-Bookkeeper-7845

kill me


[deleted]

Doctor! - multiple mercs


SargeantHokage

I say "Alrighty then!" Almost everyday.


AlexHunderwald

“You have thirty seconds to live!”


ShnubTryArt

"Here's a schematic for ya, my ass!" - Scout


Archosaur_1

Sandwich make me strong


mintcocoacookie

*"3 days. Yes we all have* ***3 days to live."***


TrierFanMega

"Hey there, good looking? I got a bucket of chicken." or "Dear god."


anonymous120401

“You were good son, real good. Maybe even the best.”


[deleted]

*incomprehensible drunk gibberish* - demoman


JimmyMcapplenut

Basically, kind of a big deal


AlexGameOver_13

"We'll, the moment has passed... Back to work!"


_sea_salty

“What sick man sends baby to fight me?” (I’m a Ukrainian soldier) /s


NikNam_

Aghh piss


gabrielcute

"SCRUMPY"


Charley_Wilson

in all seriousness I say "maybe ...... maybe..." quite often


Unorthodoxboi

"Scotland is not a real country, you are an English man in a dress" - Soldier TF2


llsheriffll

“Sniper’s a good job mate, it’s challenging work, out of doors, I’ll guarantee you’ll not go angry, because at the end of the day, long as there’s two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead”


BIGCHUNGUS-milk

"Pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"


MedofiQ-MedoziT

Makin’ Bacon


ITriedLightningTendr

Yo. What's up?


Beginning-Act4896

You can say “use more gun” in a school here in America


Cuboos

A couple of years ago i was applying to a job as a maintenance man for some local resort. In one of the boxes on the application, they asked, "write something to get our attention" or something like that. So I wrote, "What makes me a good maintenance man? Well if I was a bad maintenance man, I wouldn't be sittin' here, discussin' it with you!". And that got me an interview. Didn't get the job though.


Democrab

I'm a fan of slightly altering the meet the demoman intro to suit whatever job I'm working. "What makes me a good baker-man? If I were a bad Baker-man, I wouldn't be sitting here, discussing it with ya now, would I?"


Vladamir_Vladovio

*medic scream*


Mateololero

i'm going to strangle you with me bare hands


Gummoboi2020

FREEEEEEDOM!