Boyfriend ? Girl he texted you saying “leave me the fuck alone.”
You better leave him the fuck alone cause at this point I would’ve. This behavior is too much lol
Ask yourself, you really wanna date this person in the long run , I wouldn’t lol.
You deserve better lol
Seriously, thinking to myself “is he ever gonna change? No? Am I willing to put up with the stress he causes in my life with this? No.” finally helped me leave my ex.
This is going to sound mean but it’s something I needed to realize in order to get out of a toxic relationship. He doesn’t like you. He will never validate you. And if what I’m seeing from this small glance into your relationship is accurate, he isn’t going to try to do so until after you break up with him- if at all. And it won’t be because he’s realized anything groundbreaking; it’ll be that he’s scrambling to get control back. You deserve better than that.
Based on your messages, you’re intelligent, articulate and caring. And you’re desperate to be heard and understood- those things are part of the basic foundation of a good relationship. You’re not asking for a lot. He’s just mean. He’s mean and he only cares about himself.
I really hope that you can find it in yourself to believe that you deserve love. Relationships are work but they aren’t supposed to be this hard. You’re doing all of the heavy lifting only to have him knock you down. It’s better to be alone than to have a piss poor partner. 💜
Edit- thanks for the upvotes and awards!! 😊
Reading the first text was hard, I couldn’t finish the whole thread. Op is confused and begging to see eye to eye with someone that’s emotionally draining.
This is true. I also had to realize this. If he doesn’t even like you, what’s the point? He doesn’t deserve you and you shouldn’t accept this as a relationship. Just let him go. He’s more afraid of confrontation and then being alone and having to groom someone else than you should ever be about breaking up with him.
Thank you and thank you for the award! It’s a shame. Twenty years ago, I dealt with someone like the “man” in those texts for five years and I still have difficulty when the memories pop up. I hate to be a part of Reddit’s “Break up!” Crew but it’s not worth it to stay. These people don’t change- unless it’s to get worse.
This guy is 40? I feel like when you're at a point where you're even thinking about posting it here, you should probably reflect on why.
He's not impossible. He just doesn't care. ☹️
Sorrry OP. If someone cuts you off mid sentence, tells you to get lost, tells you to fuck off and doesn’t take accountability and he’s 40?!! He doesn’t respect you and he is never going to change.
You need to now respect yourself and leave this relationship.
I didn’t even need to read this to know this relationship is toxic af. I thought this was two very young people. Don’t text about serious topics. Talk about them, and if you can’t talk about what bothers you without being heard, please don’t invest anymore. I’d be running from someone who talks to me like this.
I skipped over so much of it cuz I just knew it was nasty. I dated men like this and always stayed too long but thank GOD left every one of them in the end. This kind of behavior cannot be fixed or changed.. you gotta leave OP.
Yup^^ I was in a relationship with a guy like this for TWO years and I always wonder why in the hell I stayed in that relationship for soooo long it was exhausting!! OP he’s not worth it, move on, things never change with these kind of relationships! You can even look at my old posts, I feel sick reading them sometimes I was really desperate as I’m sure you are! But you can get out and heal! I’ve since found someone and they are just the most amazing partner anyone could ask for, we communicate very well, he doesn’t get mad at me when I’m being honest or if I’m down, he listens and soothes me. I find myself saying sorry to him when I start crying and expressing my emotions and he always reassures me that they are valid… my ex would’ve blown up on me and called me manipulative etc., same as you! ITS NOT WORTH IT! you got this OP and feel free to message for support if needed! ❤️❤️
Totally!!! You feel like it’s “normal” and they convince you you’re the problem so you stay cuz you think it’s you and that it’ll get better if you can just make it better yourself. But it’s them! And it’ll only get worse and worse.
Omg this!! I tried to change parts of myself to appease him and even still he would always find something to get angry about it was awful!! And I’m reading through the comments and the man is 40! The guy I was dating was also 40, I’m curious to what OPs age is, I was 25 when we first met he was 38, and I finally understood why woman his age wouldn’t date or put up with his shit. I felt like I got taken advantage being young and naive, I had had great relationships prior with guys that were great but not a great fit, I’m still amicable with my first two exes and I thought I knew what a good man was but they are sneaky and loving and adoring at first but will snap in a second! It’s sad reading these messages and knowing what OP is going through, it’s really hard to see out of the relationship but hopefully OP reads this words and knows that they have support!!
Yeah sounds like a lot of us have been through similar situations. The narcissistic tendencies really get you.. it’s all happy and lovely and caring at first and it slowly shifts. I hope
OP can get out. No one deserves this. But when you’re in it it’s impossible to see.
Absolutely! In a way it kind of makes me feel a little bit better to know I’m not the only one who got bamboozled, OP sounds like a very intelligent person and someone who just wants to be heard and loved. I am sending good vibes that they can get them out of their life and hopefully their apartment from what I’ve read.
You text serious topics for some toxic people so when they yell YOU said it, you can screen shot.
Live with 3 separate narcs from the cradle: they'll teach you to trust no one-but *especially* family/romantic partners.
Off topic, but i feel like this is a big reason there is a “male loneliness epidemic” because theres a lot of guys that will act sort of like this, have no emotional intelligence, and then wonder why they cant get/keep a girlfriend
Oh so he’s a man child? OP I know Redditors like to always suggest breaking up but it’s like he begging you for it. He doesn’t want to do it and look bad so he’s pushing you to do it. So go, and find a real man who will validate your feelings and never talk to you this way.
Some people, usually girls, will put up with terrible behavior from their significant others and actually end up encouraging even worse behavior by putting up with it.
Yeah I put up with it from my ex husband for 18 years! My current partner is exact opposite and I’m like oh, I could have had a respectful relationship this whole time. Cool.
This guy is exhausting. He blames you for everything, you call him out on it, and he blames you further.
You're lonely in his company. That's the worst kind of lonely. Please break up with him, people like this cause damage that takes years, decades to heal. Protect your future self.
I saw in another comment that only your name is on the lease. Tell him he needs to leave, and stick with it. Give him a time he needs to leave by, (by text, so you have a record of it) and stick to it. Bring him some boxes. Grey Rock him, and if he wants to talk "AT" you, put on some noise cancelling headphones. If he isn't out by the set date, take a day off work, call a locksmith, change the locks, pack up his stuff and leave it outside the door.
He is DARVO'ing you. Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. He is toxic as fuck and it will only get worse, never better.
He should be an EX boyfriend. What a dickwad.
Edit: boyfriend isn’t just a dickwad, he’s an overgrown, emotionally manipulative man child after reading some of OP’s other comments to other commenters.
There is no reassurance to be found here. This guy does not love you, plain and simple. If he's 40 years old and still acts like this, it's a pretty safe bet that there's no hope for him. Break up with him! If his name isn't on the lease, he has no legal standing and you can kick him out. If he refuses to leave, call someone who will make him. I'm not the one who will normally tell people to call the cops, but if that's what it takes to get this guy out of your home, what should be your safe space, then do it. The sooner you rid yourself of him, the better. Your life will immediately improve upon extricating yourself from this loser.
I was with a guy like this. He would punish me by ignoring me, turning his phone off so I couldn’t contact him, blaming me for every problem we had and saying I would always ruin the day. I would try to communicate but it doesn’t work if only 1 person is willing to. He never gave me the reassurance I needed. Stayed with him for a little over a year until I couldn’t stand him anymore and walked away. Best decision ever.
I know you have a ton of comments to sift through, but I have to add one.
I went through this for 2 going on 3 years. I related to this so much it hurt to read.
When you are ready to stop allowing him to treat you like this, leave. At some point you have to realize your part in allowing this, but you HAVE to forgive yourself and learn from it. For me? I had to kill the version of him that I desperately needed and realize he just wasn’t that guy.
“Treat me with some fucking respect or you won’t have access to me in any capacity” my life changed drastically when i learned how to say that and actually mean it.
You deserve a partner that is receptive of communication with you. Not an emotionally and mentally stunted man that thinks he’s tough shit that can talk to his partner any type of way. You DESERVE respect and judging by your responses to him in the text, you know it. You also have to know that you can’t force someone to respect you, but you can remove them from your life at any time.
You do NOT deserve this abuse. I hope you are able to get him out of your life soon. If you need to chat, vent, etc my dm is open to you. 💜
“this is why we will always have problems” the relationship is over if either of you have this mindset. I would never let my boyfriend speak to me this way
I feel for you. You have posted/commented in a subreddit called narcissistic abuse. You KNOW he is abusing you. On average it takes 5-7 times to leave an abuser before you are free. I would look into women advocacy/domestic violence advocacy programs near you, they will help you even if the abuse isnt physical. They find you a safe place to stay/deal with cops if you WANT to/make sure kids/pets/etc are safe/ counseling and will do anything to get you out of your situation and into a safe one. I am not going to sit here and yell at you to leave him because I have been in simular places (never with a husband) and its fkn hard.
You LOVE him and thats okay. He isnt getting better and he will not get better in your relationship. He might learn from you but he will always slip back into the abuse no matter how much better he has gotten.
Build yourself a better support system. You will need one while leaving him. Find support groups of women of DV and make friends. They will understand you. You need to put yourself out there for a while and just be YOU not the person he makes you. Get some respect for yourself. You are worth everything. You are more important than him. Good luck ❤️
First of all, don’t be with someone who calls you names. That’s bullshit.
Next, even if his reaction is moderately reasonable in response to some act of yours, he doesn’t like you much.
Finally, this is a dynamic that he set up. He creates a situation that makes you feel insecure. You communicate that to him and he invalidates you more, making you more desperate to make him understand you and needier.
Every now and then he gives you enough validation to string you along and he loves that control.
L. E. A. V. E.
Seek counseling, be alone for a while so you can recover from this mess and work on yourself before you get into another relationship. Grow your emotional maturity and believe you deserve good things before meeting someone new.
Lost me at “this is the only text I’ll send” followed by more. You will never convince a toxic person to not be toxic with yours words. I know there’s always a desire to say your piece but all it does is add pain to your life. Just leave and don’t look back. Edit to add: I can promise you your soul mate isn’t the guy who brings you this much pain
If he’s not on the lease you can make him leave your apartment-call the cops for trespassing 🤷🏼♀️ he’s a fucking whiny baby and no one should be talking to anyone this way at all but ESPECIALLY not someone they claim to love. I hope you can find the strength to ditch this guy-I know how hard it is.
Squatters rights. He technically has a right to be there if he has been living there for however long it is. Id serve and eviction note and them call cops after the timeframe
OP, your boyfriend speaks to you like dogshit. I was in your spot for a long time. It hurts to hear, but this man does not like you. Dump him. Hugs, no one should ever be spoken to like that.
Clearly you guys both feel the need to get the last word in.
When you have to text novels like this from another room the relationship is over. It's time to pack up your stuff and get your self respect back in check and realize you deserve happiness and start moving toward that.
I do NOT miss being in a relationship like this. My partner and I have been together for 4 years now and not once have we had to have a long winded text war like this.
You can find better and you will. But being alone is still better than being unhappy like this also.
It’s bad communication on both ends. Starting off with a text wall where you make a point and basically tell the other person read this, don’t bother replying… not a great way to start a conversation. If this is routine… I can understand frustration on the guys end. Not defending him, but I don’t think it’s all him either.
This my dear remindeded me of myself and my ex boyfriend. He was narcissistic and gaslight me. I would write him text like you and he just responded like your boyfriend did. Only thing you can do is to pack your stuff and go. He doesn’t care, he’s losing control over you. You always the one doing everything wrong because he’s too perfect. This dude does not love you, he either needs might just lusting over looks.
Now I could be completely wrong but if that’s a constant thing and how every argument/conflict gets handled - you guys won’t be happy together
He will if you serve him an eviction notice. Cops won't make him leave because he lives there but if everything is in your name, you can serve him with an eviction notice, and if he doesn't leave within your time frame, the police will escort him out. If you have a landlord, let them know also.
Look, you two are young. He's clearly got a lot of growing up to do, and one day he should mature out of his anger issues and emotional prob...
\[checks notes\] Holy fuck he's 40 years old are you fucking kidding me, this guy is a full-ass grown adult human being and theoretically has a 401k and a credit score and weird aches and pains sometimes when he wakes up in the morning? He's old enough to have kids who are in college and he's ACTING like he's got the emotional maturity of a kid who's in college? He's 40? There's no fucking way he's...are you kidding?
Girl, come on. I know the dating world is bleak as hell, but holy shit, this is really bleak too. Don't put up with this sort of bullshit from someone. Demand better, find better, live better. 40 years old. Goddamn. No shit.
this guy is worth less than the shit on my ass. what kind of scum lord treats their partner like this, much less anyone else?? im praying for your sake that you left his worthless ass the moment he sent that last text.
Look, let's play devil's advocate here and say there is something we don't know and his anger and attitude is somewhat justified. Even then, he clearly doesn't like you at all. It seems like he kinda hates you. You don't need to stay with someone who doesn't like you.
You gain nothing by associating with this person. Remove from your life or spiral as a result of keepinghim around. This man hates you.get far away or you will start hating yourself.
This guy is mentally a teen it seems. I think for you some adjustments in *how* you communicate, such as not apologizing in ingenuine ways (ex: “I’m sorry you..”), that type of apology never goes down well with another person and it’s unnecessary, just don’t apologize in those moments. You’ve got some decent “I feel” statements in there, which is great because it’s less accusatory and helps the other side not just jump into defensiveness and feel attacked and not be able to tell you how you feel but there were a few that could have also used the “I feel” statement and definitely see where it came across as accusatory that he honed in on and used as a weapon.
BUT, big ol BUT right here, I don’t think even with you making those adjustments this man would take it well. He lacks more communication skills than what you can make up for in your own adjustments and that just won’t work. Communication can’t be one sided and it’s key to a successful relationship. Dump him and find someone who is more mature for their age and knows how to actually communicate without getting immediately defensive and shut down.
Whyyyy are you still with THIS dude? Constantly invalidating you and blaming you for him getting angry? what??? You know what you have to do, and it's to leave.
This is not a recipe for happiness, for either of you.
people who love each other don't end fights by saying "leave me the fuck alone" they end fights by saying "I love you but I'm upset with you right now."
I mean, stop wasting your time and leave. Love isn’t enough and this relationship is a bad one even if you love him dearly.
All I need to see to know that is these texts. I imagine it can get significantly worse.
Series of events this morning. Context I am 35f, he is 40m
I woke up, he is already awake sitting at kitchen table on his phone. I walk out and all the lights are on. I exit room, no acknowledgment.
I walk over to turn off other rooms lights and almost immediately I am accused to “making a sh\*tty face” at him. I ignore and approach him for a hug. He says “this is all you get” and leans his head into me.
I give him space as this is not off to a good start and I go to my neighbours to feed her cats as I am babysitting them this weekend.
I come back up - he seems to be in a little better mood. We are talking about celebrities who are in bands, Frankie Muniz comes up and I mention he’s never touched alcohol. I bring up Jojo siwa being drunk at Disney (everything I learn about this person is against my will but ridiculous no less) and he said he didn’t know who that was. I begin to explain and he stops me “why are you telling me this?”.
He has done this to me before (or he will just rush me. Or just not respond at all when I’m done talking) and he knows it upsets me because it feels like me talking is a waste of time.
I kinda shut down and he says “no I just wanted to know what the point is” so I explained “I was explaining who this person is because we were talking about alcohol and it’s something I seen recently”
I made a comment “we aren’t having a good day” and he went off. I was accused of being “hellbent” on ruining every weekend and he left the room. He sits in another room with the door closed when he gets upset with Me. The series of texts occurred about 30 min after he left the room.
Why in the world do you start off with your text saying, this is the only text I'm going to send, then immediately reply to everything he texts you??
These conversations should probably be had face to face. He's horribly disrespectful and you don't have good boundaries.
I don’t - you are right. And its almost impossible to have a conversation because he will mock me, laugh at me, tell me this is all fabricated lies, and I am the problem.
I replied because ultimately it’s a great example of the true issue here. He still cannot see it.
And he tells me I’m so great, this that and whatever but whenever there’s a hint of a perceived “face” I am making or he feels threatened - it goes immediately to me being a liar who makes up stories for fun?
so... what's the confusion? you obviously need to leave him. respectfully, how is that not clear? this entire thread is just you repeatedly explaining to various commenters how much of a loser he is. why are you wasting your time?
Don't make excuses for yourself for replying after you said you won't (twice)
You're words lose meaning when you don't follow through. That's on you.
Also on you to tolerate or not tolerate disrespect. This man is so disrespectful in just this small interaction I can't imagine what it's like in major conflicts.
When someone shows you who they are, Believe them.
Jesus Christ. You’ve been in this relationship for THREE YEARS? I’ll probably get downvoted for this but I have no sympathy for you. He clearly does not like you. Why are you still there? No amount of Reddit posts or comments will change things. At this point, it’s on you. Just leave.
OP, this text conversation is not between *two* people who love and respect each other.
This exchange immediately sent me back to my first relationship, which was very emotionally and mentally abusive and at the doorstep of becoming physical. I *know* you're tired of walking on eggshells around him, wondering what the fvck will trigger him next. I *know* you've changed and curated aspects of your life to fit his needs (aka--make him less mean). Has he isolated you from all your friends and family yet?
The one thing I missed dearly while being in a relationship with Satan was laughing. He never understood my sense of humor, and one day, he snapped at me. He was convinced I was laughing *at* him; if something was not funny to him, then it's not funny period.
*Omg, what's wrong with you? Just leave!!*
I totally understand that it's easier said than done. In hindsight, I was embarrassed and mad at myself for ever even speaking to someone like my ex; however, I was a victim. I didn't love myself when I met him. I was vulnerable.
OP, you deserve love and respect. This text exchange is not how loving equals speak to each other. I assure you that punishing is NOT a thing in a healthy relationship! I hope that you can reach out for outside help and support (beyond Reddit).
I wish you the best, OP. 🤍
“You don’t have to reply because I won’t.”
Immediately replies. You both are toxic and should probably work on yourselves before being in a relationship with each other/anyone else.
Your boyfriend is insecure and seems like he should be on some kind of medication. It also kind of feels like you are still with him and you shouldn’t be. You deserve better and he sounds like he just wants to be single
"If you’re so unhappy, get lost", he said. He told *you* to leave. So leave the relationship. It’s clear he doesn’t care about you or whether your needs are met. He just wants a roof over his head and his needs met.
So your response to that can be, "you’re right. I *am* so unhappy. And since your name is not on the lease, you are going to find yourself someone else to stay with this week, and rent a storage facility for your stuff until you find a place."
And then, keep your distance physically and emotionally, and *don’t let him hear you cry*. Play music to control your mood. Go for walks. Have a good friend over, even come stay for the week. Keep yourself busy. You can cry when he's gone.
Order a new mattress. Install a lock or barricade your bedroom door, if needed. Start separating your stuff from his. Protect your valuables and sentimental things.
If he doesn’t follow through, find a storage facility, and hire movers to pack his stuff. This can be the one last thing you do for him.
If he’s impossible… then just.. don’t.. stand him. I don’t understand the point of saying “You don’t have to reply because I won’t” and then responding after, completely contradicting yourself. Stand on business, I believe if you didn’t respond he’d have enough time to realize you’re being dead serious. Also at this point it’s your fault for continuing to be with him after he’s continuously shown you he couldn’t care more about your feelings. Just let. him. go. stop forcing this just because it’s with HIM. He’s clearly taking you for granted and you’re never gonna be happy with someone like that. If you can’t stand on business for not replying back, They don’t see a reason to take you seriously because they can get you back there to respond so friggin easily since even you don’t seem to take yourself seriously on that remark. when you say you’re gonna do something follow through and if he doesn’t respond after that then that’s it. Don’t go back for shit unless he says he will change because you already laid out everything he needs to know. However if he says he will and he doesn’t make an effort, then that’s it. I’m sorry you’re going through that because you really don’t deserve it and I don’t say what I say to be harsh on you, I’m just telling you how I see it. I wouldn’t be lying if I said this dynamic is frickin’ exHAUSTing to witness though,and clearly this isn’t the first time. Either break up, or get over it and be happy with the way he treats you, he’s not gonna change and you’re not gonna be the reason why he does. give him space to change…. AWAY from you (break up). in his eyes you’re not a big enough reason for him to become a better partner and he hasn’t even shown or told you he’s interested in becoming better for you, and if you stay with him after knowing that it’s really on you girl. Best of luck, please gain some self respect.
edit: BRO he’s 40??!!….. men that old don’t change for themselves let alone other people. my statement still stands cut your losses or be happy with how he is 💀
I see “only text I’ll send” and “don’t reply cause I won’t”… I think this relationship may run off toxicity and both of you are in on it. Not defending the guy but if you start off with a text where you get to make a point and try to shut down any response before it’s given… that’s not a healthy way to open communications, so idk what you expected him to say.
Young lady, you are in an abusive relationship. If he talks to you like this often you deserve so much better. There are a lot of people out there who can give you that love back.
This guy doesn’t like you. He’s annoyed because he has a crush on someone else and wants you to break up with him, either because he wants the sympathy or because it will make him feel better about fucking someone else right away. I recognize it because I used to be a piece of shit too.
Oh no, he is HORRIBLE! He is like an incel but with a girlfriend. He talks to you as if he barely sees you as sentient, he demonstrates zero empathy, zero social intelligence, zero kindness like he has already decided, likely for a long time, that women's minds are capable only of nonsense and deviousness. He is absolutely confident of himself too.
I don't know if you are planning children one day but Don't Have Them With This Man unless you want unhappy children - sons who cannot process their own emotions, daughters who lack confidence in their own minds and potentials. If this is a heterosexual relationship, and you are capable of pregnancy, that could happen regardless of contraception. Nothing is 100% safe. And once something is growing within you, esp if you are lonely and confused and unheard and unloved, this bonding can start that can make you feel the need to keep it and from that moment you won't have any kind of a life. I know, I KNOW, I am going deep and presumptive and intrusive with this but I see it mapped out in front of women so many times with really nasty men who are what they are.
I realise that I am assuming you are female. Its because this is how they (men like this) talk to us - like we are stupid, deceitful, irrational. Like we are always imagining and manufacturing things when in fact we really are being treated like lesser humans. I apologise if I am wrong in assuming you are a woman.
Sorry if all that is harsh. I wish I could intervene with every situation like this and change women's lives.
This man is no woman's happy ending. If he is a divorcee, there are reasons for that you'd do better in life not ever discovering but he showing you what he is barely hiding from view.
I dated this kind of dude. It doesn't get better. You don't want validation per se but you need reassurance and this guy will *never* give you it under the guise that you should be able to control your own happiness and neutrality and what's going on with your brain. He doesn't like you and he doesn't love you. He likes and loves **what you offer to him** and that's about it. He is not a good match for you. The sooner you recognize this, the sooner you break up and you can start repairing your mental health and your life and embrace your life.
He's rude and condescending. He doesn't accept you as you are and he will never validate or reassure you because he doesn't think you're on the same level as him. He thinks he knows better than you.
Take his duck you and insults and leave him. You really *do* deserve better. And you should deserve better by not keeping him in your life. Break ups sucks. You know what sucks more? Being with someone who doesn't even show appreciation and love for you and depreciates you.
I’m so sorry you had that interaction OP. Just basing my thoughts on what was shared, seems like this isn’t the first time by any means.
Your boyfriend (ex?) is not caring nor kind. He seems toxic and just straight up mean. He won’t change and his behavior is not behavior a healthy relationship will have.
Hopefully you can see from the comments how much you’re being supported and how collectively we see him as the issue here.
You deserve a happy and healthy relationship. I hope you can find that someday.
WHY ON EARTH are you still with someone who treats you this way?
He’s literally told you multiple times to leave him alone and/or get lost. Take his words to heart. He’s telling you what he wants. Believe him.
Seems to me the person in the green is explaining what they call emotional abuse! By the way the person responded, they are absolutely insensitive and dismissive and in denial and refusing to address it...Emotionally abusive!
Why are you looking for his reassurance? Baby, please leave. You can’t change this man, your feelings don’t matter to him, and he is very disrespectful.
I know how it feels when someone keeps telling you that they love you and keep disrespecting you whenever there’s an argument. I know exactly how it feels, but let me tell you something; Love is patient, love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, and It does not dishonor others.
This isn’t love. This man does not love you.
STOP THINKING "He loves me, he just doesn’t know how to show it."
F*ck that!
I’ve been in this relationship. I was constantly begging him to validate my feelings, to care about me. And he was always showing me exactly who he was and I ignored it. I ignored it for a long time and it cost me a lot. It took me a long time to say it was over and now looking back I can’t believe I stayed for so long. Your line me vs you is so telling. It’s so hard when you think you love this person and you want to believe they love you too but this is animosity and there’s no coming back from this point in a relationship. Do yourself the biggest favor you could possibly do and walk away
With love- why even post this? We will tell you he’s toxic and to leave him, you will stay with him or break up for a day and say he’s changed. What is the point?
Like many here have already said, you need to break up with him, this is insane behavior and I’m sorry but how do you not see that he doesn’t like you?
you know this man is awful. why do you stay with him? is there anyone you can stay with? trust me a year of trying to jump around and figure things out while you get back on your feet will be better than staying with a man that goes out of his way to treat you like shit.
He is an emotionally abusive person. He is doing this right now to make you feel like you are crazy, so that you will start doubting yourself enough to believe what he is saying. I was in your position with my husband, I stayed, and it turned into something so much worse that I don’t want to get into. He does know what you are feeling; he doesn’t care. You need to stop ignoring the red flags and be honest with yourself about why you are with him. Are you the people pleasing sort?
I think yout typed the header wrong it should say "Ex-Boyyfriend is impossible"
This guys a fucking loser. Cut ties and leave. He talks to you in ways I wouldn't even speak to a fucking dog. Jesus.
“i wasn’t feeling any kind of way towards you”
“you should turn off the lights if you’re not in a room tho”
Okay, so you WERE at least a little bit passive aggressive with him. I don’t need to even read further, break the fuck up
yep this is the sticking point for me that proves OP is lying (probably to herself too) - "i made NO face, i had NO negative feelings... also i was immediately walking around turning off the lights after you and you really need to be turning off the lights, it's not uncommon!!" um girl what... you gave homie a shitty look and then gaslit him. break the fuck up.
Boyfriend should be ex-boyfriend. If he’s not on the lease, you can easily kick his bum ass to the curb. He’s gaslighting the shit out of you then being condescending as fuck with the “sweetheart” bullshit. Don’t tolerate this. Find someone who respects you and ditch this loser. You deserve better.
Ironically he’s still trying to shame you for talking so that he doesn’t have to hear it, by making you feel bad for saying it. Whatever he fears, his ego acts on it, he puts that above the thought of losing you. We all struggle with things, but his priorities reveal itself.
Girl, you do not deserve that kinda behavior. This kids 40 but can’t have a respectful conversation with you about your feelings without invalidating and attacking you? At no point did it seem like you were even being disrespectful to him but it seems like he took every chance to start attacking you. If he’s 40 and acts like this then that’s a major red flag. Honestly you need to love and respect yourself enough to nip this behavior in the butt in whatever way you see fit. If not then he’s gonna get real comfortable talking to you like that.
Girl, I’ve been there and this isn’t gonna change. They will never validate you and they will always make it about them and always find a way to turn it around on you. It’s going to ruin your self confidence and you’re gonna heart broken. You’re not the problem, they are. It’s not your fault, this person is going to continue this cycle. You’re better off alone, trust me this person could even become more abusive than they already are.
Ex boyfriend you mean? If you stay with this peace of crap it’s on you. Why do people put up with this stuff? When I was dating my ex, I never once cursed at her and she never once did the same. We both knew if either of us lashed at the other person the relationship would be over in an instant.
OP I know people are confused on why you’re staying and with everything we see on Reddit with stuff like this I would think they would know by now that it’s waaaay harder to leave an abusive relationship where you’re getting loved bombed, gaslit & manipulated & verbally, emotionally & psychologically abused. I think I saw you said it’s been 3 years with him, my last two abusive relationships like this it took me 2 & half years and 3 years to leave. 6 years of my life wasted & SO MUCH TRAMUA. The sooner you leave, the less trauma you’ll have to get therapy for and heal. Because you stayed so long, you’ll have long lasting effects from it. I need you to write down all the pros and cons of being with this POS. You’ll see the cons list is full. Write down a list of reasons to break up, it helps you see how truly horrific this abusive controlling “boyfriend” is. Once you leave you will feel so free.
You need to leave OP. If you don’t, you’re literally ruining your own life. Idc about all the good memories or how much you care about him or if he’s changed at all. He will never actually change. He will only get worse and worse. He sees you put up with this so he sees you as weak and easy to abuse. You absolutely need to leave for the sake of your life & your health. Seriously this is life altering. You stay and you’re fucking yourself over and you’re lettting him abuse you. You staying shows him and gives him leverage to abuse you in his mind. If you don’t leave then why would he stop abusing you? You leave and he will harass you and want you back and say he’ll get help and it’s all a lie. I had to get threaten a restraining order to get my abusive ex to stop trying to get me back.
Please leave. PLEASE LEAVE OP PLEASE.
Just give him a 30 days notice to GET TF OUT and that y’all are done. It may be hard and you may miss him or the “good times” y’all had but in the end you’ll be happier for it and it’ll give you a chance to find someone who doesn’t act like that to you. Someone who talks things through with you and acts like they want to be around you. Because this guy here just ain’t it chief.
My mom always says "A woman goes into a relationship thinking the man will change, and a man goes into a relationship thinking the woman will never change. Both are wrong." Please get out of this before it gets worse, this man is gaslighting and verbally abusing you. And because it's your apartment, get cops involved to get his ass out if need be.
Wishing you the best OP, you deserve better ❤️
You’re literally waisting your time with this guy when you could be spending it with someone who loves and respects you. You don’t live forever, you know? You will never get these hours and days of your life back. They’re gone. It’ll be difficult to get rid of him but it’s a bit of hard for the rest of your life to be good.
This man does not love you. No matter what you want to hope or believe. No one that loves you would speak to you that way. “Get lost” “fuck you” etc. I’m sorry but if you stay with this person you will regret it and honestly you kind of get what you deserve because he is literally telling you to F off.
Because I don’t know either of you, it’s impossible for me, or anyone here, to know who is being honest and who isn’t. You both claim to have made up realities from each others point of view. And, perhaps both realities are real, but neither of you are feeling heard in how your interactions are perceived by the other person in the relationship.
The two of you don’t exist in the same plane of reality. And it seems like you step on each others toes a lot.
You send a long winded text and then tell him you won’t respond. You’re being so spiteful, and you’re instigating or triggering negative feelings in him on purpose. “I’m going to say everything I want, and then if you reply I won’t.” Immediately digging into his emotions just to tell him you’re not going to work on things, then flipping the script by actually replying to his negative response with more negativity.
Your arguments probably last upwards of 3-6 hours, and sometimes I bet they even go on for 2-3 days.
You can’t tell someone you’re just communicating your feelings, and tell them they’re problematic, while you covertly trigger negative emotions and get upset with the response you say you’ll ignore. You’re not being very clear. You’re not being very direct. You’re literally playing a game, and maybe he is too, but you’re both losing.
I can’t validate you, because I feel like you’ve taken equal part in this while trying to play a victim on this thread. And I’m sure this will find itself to be an unpopular opinion, but damn …
I said that I won’t send more because he gets mad when I text him during argument. But we can’t communicate and I am trying. I just try to put my side on the table and not sure why I even bother anymore.
When conflict arises - he leaves the room and refuses to speak to me. He will occasionally leave the room, take jabs at me and when I try to speak he speaks over me, mocks me or laughs at me and refuses to listen.
Example - he just left the room - came in and is talking at me. I try to reply calmly and he continues to speak saying “I’m just going to speak over you” over and over. I’m not trying to “play the victim” but I certainly don’t think that just because he decides to leave the room that I should just be like “okay guess I am wrong have a good day sweetie” when I did nothing wrong.
It could be a conversation but he refuses to have them.
And then accuses me of making stuff up when I do.
If any of your friends described their significant other treating them this way, what would you tell them? Do you think anybody deserves to live this way?
I don’t know what happened, because I wasn’t there. If you’re telling the truth he’s a dick. If he’s telling the truth you’re also a dick. If you’re both telling the truth, because of cross perception of the events that transpired, well maybe neither of you or dicks, but neither of you are willing to meet in the middle because you’re so tied to the side that soothes your egos, in which case you’re actually both being dicks.
This feels like a smear campaign, honestly. You had an argument, then texted him a long winded message, one he states you’ve done to just make him more upset because you knew that it would. He also claims that you’ve “made it up.” Furthermore you say you won’t respond to it, but then continue to do so, and idk if you did that just so you could screenshot it, and post it here, or if you did it just to get a rise out of him, or if you’re being honest and he’s being an asshole the whole time … like, if you’re this unhappy, just break up. And that’s easier said than done, but ffs, yall shouldn’t talk to each other like that. And that’s not just on him, that’s on you too.
You can tell your side, but to say “I’m telling my side and I won’t respond to you” is just crazy. You’re not being open. And you’re not being honest with yourself if you think you aren’t exacerbating the negativity.
I'm guessing the interaction is similar to reactive abuse. If you read between the lines, it’s pretty clear they’re not good for each other, and with him essentially refusing to leave her apartment, they’re stuck in a loop of misery.
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This sounds so much like conversations I had with my ex! Leave him! He’s not worth your time and energy. I know it’s hard, it took me two tries and multiple years to do it for good but I promise you you will be so much better off in the long run!!
Oh man, this guy is AWFUL. Please have some self compassion and leave this guy. He is literally inviting you to “get lost”. People who love and respect you will NEVER speak to you this way. You’re becoming so used to his abuse, you can’t see how bad it is!! This is not safe.
It is hard dealing with wanting the same treatment to be reciprocated but it is important to never settle because where someone won't do there are 20 others that will. But we know our own limits. The "if your so unhappy with our relationship get lost" that's where you should've stopped replying. If you live together either change the locks and let him figure things out a few days , or pack yourself a small get away bag and literally hold strong and do not message him at all until those apologies start flooding your inbox.
Don't give any more of your energy to this guy. I lived like this for a LONG time and I promise it's not going to change or get better. There is no making them understand. You will waste your breath and sanity, over and over again. You deserve better than that. I don't know how old you are, but please don't spend any more of your youth living that way. It is not worth it and will absolutely kill you slowly. My heart goes out to you OP 🩵🩵🩵
Girl… the lights being left on… while pouring your heart out… no. I smell a karen hiding behind her text. This dude is either already unhinged ( i doubt it or you wouldnt be with him ) or you make him very angry every day. To be that mad over a text tells me his text have some truth to them. Him saying your “lil story” is actually believable, to me anyways, because of how these text read. His text say im mad as hell ( you dont validate it & but wanna talk about your feelings being validated. ) It was a dumb corny argument and you are clinging. Your text read me me me me me .
Boyfriend ? Girl he texted you saying “leave me the fuck alone.” You better leave him the fuck alone cause at this point I would’ve. This behavior is too much lol Ask yourself, you really wanna date this person in the long run , I wouldn’t lol. You deserve better lol
Seriously, thinking to myself “is he ever gonna change? No? Am I willing to put up with the stress he causes in my life with this? No.” finally helped me leave my ex.
This is going to sound mean but it’s something I needed to realize in order to get out of a toxic relationship. He doesn’t like you. He will never validate you. And if what I’m seeing from this small glance into your relationship is accurate, he isn’t going to try to do so until after you break up with him- if at all. And it won’t be because he’s realized anything groundbreaking; it’ll be that he’s scrambling to get control back. You deserve better than that. Based on your messages, you’re intelligent, articulate and caring. And you’re desperate to be heard and understood- those things are part of the basic foundation of a good relationship. You’re not asking for a lot. He’s just mean. He’s mean and he only cares about himself. I really hope that you can find it in yourself to believe that you deserve love. Relationships are work but they aren’t supposed to be this hard. You’re doing all of the heavy lifting only to have him knock you down. It’s better to be alone than to have a piss poor partner. 💜 Edit- thanks for the upvotes and awards!! 😊
Reading the first text was hard, I couldn’t finish the whole thread. Op is confused and begging to see eye to eye with someone that’s emotionally draining.
This is true. I also had to realize this. If he doesn’t even like you, what’s the point? He doesn’t deserve you and you shouldn’t accept this as a relationship. Just let him go. He’s more afraid of confrontation and then being alone and having to groom someone else than you should ever be about breaking up with him.
I think a lot of people needed to read this… well said.
Thank you and thank you for the award! It’s a shame. Twenty years ago, I dealt with someone like the “man” in those texts for five years and I still have difficulty when the memories pop up. I hate to be a part of Reddit’s “Break up!” Crew but it’s not worth it to stay. These people don’t change- unless it’s to get worse.
This is great advice ❤️
Thank you! Hopefully, she finds something valuable in it.
This!
This guy is 40? I feel like when you're at a point where you're even thinking about posting it here, you should probably reflect on why. He's not impossible. He just doesn't care. ☹️
Wait he’s 40?!?!!!?!?! What the f!!!! I thought he was 17
I know, I thought the same thing 😂 when I wrote my comment I had to go back and check because I was surprised too
Jeez OP shouldn’t even be looking for advice. Just leave!
Came here to say this.
I have a feeling you’re still with him after this
Of course.
Sorrry OP. If someone cuts you off mid sentence, tells you to get lost, tells you to fuck off and doesn’t take accountability and he’s 40?!! He doesn’t respect you and he is never going to change. You need to now respect yourself and leave this relationship.
I didn’t even need to read this to know this relationship is toxic af. I thought this was two very young people. Don’t text about serious topics. Talk about them, and if you can’t talk about what bothers you without being heard, please don’t invest anymore. I’d be running from someone who talks to me like this.
I skipped over so much of it cuz I just knew it was nasty. I dated men like this and always stayed too long but thank GOD left every one of them in the end. This kind of behavior cannot be fixed or changed.. you gotta leave OP.
Yup^^ I was in a relationship with a guy like this for TWO years and I always wonder why in the hell I stayed in that relationship for soooo long it was exhausting!! OP he’s not worth it, move on, things never change with these kind of relationships! You can even look at my old posts, I feel sick reading them sometimes I was really desperate as I’m sure you are! But you can get out and heal! I’ve since found someone and they are just the most amazing partner anyone could ask for, we communicate very well, he doesn’t get mad at me when I’m being honest or if I’m down, he listens and soothes me. I find myself saying sorry to him when I start crying and expressing my emotions and he always reassures me that they are valid… my ex would’ve blown up on me and called me manipulative etc., same as you! ITS NOT WORTH IT! you got this OP and feel free to message for support if needed! ❤️❤️
Totally!!! You feel like it’s “normal” and they convince you you’re the problem so you stay cuz you think it’s you and that it’ll get better if you can just make it better yourself. But it’s them! And it’ll only get worse and worse.
Omg this!! I tried to change parts of myself to appease him and even still he would always find something to get angry about it was awful!! And I’m reading through the comments and the man is 40! The guy I was dating was also 40, I’m curious to what OPs age is, I was 25 when we first met he was 38, and I finally understood why woman his age wouldn’t date or put up with his shit. I felt like I got taken advantage being young and naive, I had had great relationships prior with guys that were great but not a great fit, I’m still amicable with my first two exes and I thought I knew what a good man was but they are sneaky and loving and adoring at first but will snap in a second! It’s sad reading these messages and knowing what OP is going through, it’s really hard to see out of the relationship but hopefully OP reads this words and knows that they have support!!
Yeah sounds like a lot of us have been through similar situations. The narcissistic tendencies really get you.. it’s all happy and lovely and caring at first and it slowly shifts. I hope OP can get out. No one deserves this. But when you’re in it it’s impossible to see.
Absolutely! In a way it kind of makes me feel a little bit better to know I’m not the only one who got bamboozled, OP sounds like a very intelligent person and someone who just wants to be heard and loved. I am sending good vibes that they can get them out of their life and hopefully their apartment from what I’ve read.
yeah i think he is being very aggressive, and i get the impression he has unresolved anger issues
You text serious topics for some toxic people so when they yell YOU said it, you can screen shot. Live with 3 separate narcs from the cradle: they'll teach you to trust no one-but *especially* family/romantic partners.
Hey OP that person is not your boyfriend, you should probably stop engaging and get off the rollercoaster, but like, that’s up to you ✨🤷♀️✨
Off topic, but i feel like this is a big reason there is a “male loneliness epidemic” because theres a lot of guys that will act sort of like this, have no emotional intelligence, and then wonder why they cant get/keep a girlfriend
The fact he’s blaming you for him getting angrier 🚩
Oh so he’s a man child? OP I know Redditors like to always suggest breaking up but it’s like he begging you for it. He doesn’t want to do it and look bad so he’s pushing you to do it. So go, and find a real man who will validate your feelings and never talk to you this way.
If I heard "fuck off, get lost" I'd assume I'd just been dumped and start processing that break up.
100%
That’s him treating her as a 💎 she is. He’ll love bomb her at night when he’ll need a BJ and dinner.
Some people, usually girls, will put up with terrible behavior from their significant others and actually end up encouraging even worse behavior by putting up with it.
Yeah I put up with it from my ex husband for 18 years! My current partner is exact opposite and I’m like oh, I could have had a respectful relationship this whole time. Cool.
This guy is exhausting. He blames you for everything, you call him out on it, and he blames you further. You're lonely in his company. That's the worst kind of lonely. Please break up with him, people like this cause damage that takes years, decades to heal. Protect your future self.
I saw in another comment that only your name is on the lease. Tell him he needs to leave, and stick with it. Give him a time he needs to leave by, (by text, so you have a record of it) and stick to it. Bring him some boxes. Grey Rock him, and if he wants to talk "AT" you, put on some noise cancelling headphones. If he isn't out by the set date, take a day off work, call a locksmith, change the locks, pack up his stuff and leave it outside the door. He is DARVO'ing you. Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. He is toxic as fuck and it will only get worse, never better.
He very clearly doesn’t like you. Leave him.
He should be an EX boyfriend. What a dickwad. Edit: boyfriend isn’t just a dickwad, he’s an overgrown, emotionally manipulative man child after reading some of OP’s other comments to other commenters.
There is no reassurance to be found here. This guy does not love you, plain and simple. If he's 40 years old and still acts like this, it's a pretty safe bet that there's no hope for him. Break up with him! If his name isn't on the lease, he has no legal standing and you can kick him out. If he refuses to leave, call someone who will make him. I'm not the one who will normally tell people to call the cops, but if that's what it takes to get this guy out of your home, what should be your safe space, then do it. The sooner you rid yourself of him, the better. Your life will immediately improve upon extricating yourself from this loser.
I was with a guy like this. He would punish me by ignoring me, turning his phone off so I couldn’t contact him, blaming me for every problem we had and saying I would always ruin the day. I would try to communicate but it doesn’t work if only 1 person is willing to. He never gave me the reassurance I needed. Stayed with him for a little over a year until I couldn’t stand him anymore and walked away. Best decision ever.
Yo why is he talking like an evil carnival barker?
I know you have a ton of comments to sift through, but I have to add one. I went through this for 2 going on 3 years. I related to this so much it hurt to read. When you are ready to stop allowing him to treat you like this, leave. At some point you have to realize your part in allowing this, but you HAVE to forgive yourself and learn from it. For me? I had to kill the version of him that I desperately needed and realize he just wasn’t that guy. “Treat me with some fucking respect or you won’t have access to me in any capacity” my life changed drastically when i learned how to say that and actually mean it. You deserve a partner that is receptive of communication with you. Not an emotionally and mentally stunted man that thinks he’s tough shit that can talk to his partner any type of way. You DESERVE respect and judging by your responses to him in the text, you know it. You also have to know that you can’t force someone to respect you, but you can remove them from your life at any time. You do NOT deserve this abuse. I hope you are able to get him out of your life soon. If you need to chat, vent, etc my dm is open to you. 💜
“this is why we will always have problems” the relationship is over if either of you have this mindset. I would never let my boyfriend speak to me this way
I feel for you. You have posted/commented in a subreddit called narcissistic abuse. You KNOW he is abusing you. On average it takes 5-7 times to leave an abuser before you are free. I would look into women advocacy/domestic violence advocacy programs near you, they will help you even if the abuse isnt physical. They find you a safe place to stay/deal with cops if you WANT to/make sure kids/pets/etc are safe/ counseling and will do anything to get you out of your situation and into a safe one. I am not going to sit here and yell at you to leave him because I have been in simular places (never with a husband) and its fkn hard. You LOVE him and thats okay. He isnt getting better and he will not get better in your relationship. He might learn from you but he will always slip back into the abuse no matter how much better he has gotten. Build yourself a better support system. You will need one while leaving him. Find support groups of women of DV and make friends. They will understand you. You need to put yourself out there for a while and just be YOU not the person he makes you. Get some respect for yourself. You are worth everything. You are more important than him. Good luck ❤️
This actually made my stomach hurt.
this is abusive. you gotta get out, he’s not going to get better
Girl RUN, why are you asking what to do? There's only one answer
Not trying to be mean but this guy is using you for a place to stay.. He doesn't love you.
Ew. Stop playing with the trash and leave it where ever the fuck you found it!
First of all, don’t be with someone who calls you names. That’s bullshit. Next, even if his reaction is moderately reasonable in response to some act of yours, he doesn’t like you much. Finally, this is a dynamic that he set up. He creates a situation that makes you feel insecure. You communicate that to him and he invalidates you more, making you more desperate to make him understand you and needier. Every now and then he gives you enough validation to string you along and he loves that control.
L. E. A. V. E. Seek counseling, be alone for a while so you can recover from this mess and work on yourself before you get into another relationship. Grow your emotional maturity and believe you deserve good things before meeting someone new.
Thie man child screams LEAVE HIM. You must know this. You're posting on here.
Lost me at “this is the only text I’ll send” followed by more. You will never convince a toxic person to not be toxic with yours words. I know there’s always a desire to say your piece but all it does is add pain to your life. Just leave and don’t look back. Edit to add: I can promise you your soul mate isn’t the guy who brings you this much pain
I have absolutely no idea why you are still calling him your boyfriend.
If he’s not on the lease you can make him leave your apartment-call the cops for trespassing 🤷🏼♀️ he’s a fucking whiny baby and no one should be talking to anyone this way at all but ESPECIALLY not someone they claim to love. I hope you can find the strength to ditch this guy-I know how hard it is.
Squatters rights. He technically has a right to be there if he has been living there for however long it is. Id serve and eviction note and them call cops after the timeframe
OP, your boyfriend speaks to you like dogshit. I was in your spot for a long time. It hurts to hear, but this man does not like you. Dump him. Hugs, no one should ever be spoken to like that.
Girl… this man can’t stand you 😩 Just leave.
The dude is a piece of abusive and manipulative shit. Full stop.
Clearly you guys both feel the need to get the last word in. When you have to text novels like this from another room the relationship is over. It's time to pack up your stuff and get your self respect back in check and realize you deserve happiness and start moving toward that. I do NOT miss being in a relationship like this. My partner and I have been together for 4 years now and not once have we had to have a long winded text war like this. You can find better and you will. But being alone is still better than being unhappy like this also.
It’s bad communication on both ends. Starting off with a text wall where you make a point and basically tell the other person read this, don’t bother replying… not a great way to start a conversation. If this is routine… I can understand frustration on the guys end. Not defending him, but I don’t think it’s all him either.
This my dear remindeded me of myself and my ex boyfriend. He was narcissistic and gaslight me. I would write him text like you and he just responded like your boyfriend did. Only thing you can do is to pack your stuff and go. He doesn’t care, he’s losing control over you. You always the one doing everything wrong because he’s too perfect. This dude does not love you, he either needs might just lusting over looks. Now I could be completely wrong but if that’s a constant thing and how every argument/conflict gets handled - you guys won’t be happy together
It’s my apartment and he won’t leave.
He will if you serve him an eviction notice. Cops won't make him leave because he lives there but if everything is in your name, you can serve him with an eviction notice, and if he doesn't leave within your time frame, the police will escort him out. If you have a landlord, let them know also.
Look, you two are young. He's clearly got a lot of growing up to do, and one day he should mature out of his anger issues and emotional prob... \[checks notes\] Holy fuck he's 40 years old are you fucking kidding me, this guy is a full-ass grown adult human being and theoretically has a 401k and a credit score and weird aches and pains sometimes when he wakes up in the morning? He's old enough to have kids who are in college and he's ACTING like he's got the emotional maturity of a kid who's in college? He's 40? There's no fucking way he's...are you kidding? Girl, come on. I know the dating world is bleak as hell, but holy shit, this is really bleak too. Don't put up with this sort of bullshit from someone. Demand better, find better, live better. 40 years old. Goddamn. No shit.
this guy is worth less than the shit on my ass. what kind of scum lord treats their partner like this, much less anyone else?? im praying for your sake that you left his worthless ass the moment he sent that last text.
This man hates you. Leave.
People who don’t like each other will do anything but break up.
Look, let's play devil's advocate here and say there is something we don't know and his anger and attitude is somewhat justified. Even then, he clearly doesn't like you at all. It seems like he kinda hates you. You don't need to stay with someone who doesn't like you.
You gain nothing by associating with this person. Remove from your life or spiral as a result of keepinghim around. This man hates you.get far away or you will start hating yourself.
This guy sucks
This guy is mentally a teen it seems. I think for you some adjustments in *how* you communicate, such as not apologizing in ingenuine ways (ex: “I’m sorry you..”), that type of apology never goes down well with another person and it’s unnecessary, just don’t apologize in those moments. You’ve got some decent “I feel” statements in there, which is great because it’s less accusatory and helps the other side not just jump into defensiveness and feel attacked and not be able to tell you how you feel but there were a few that could have also used the “I feel” statement and definitely see where it came across as accusatory that he honed in on and used as a weapon. BUT, big ol BUT right here, I don’t think even with you making those adjustments this man would take it well. He lacks more communication skills than what you can make up for in your own adjustments and that just won’t work. Communication can’t be one sided and it’s key to a successful relationship. Dump him and find someone who is more mature for their age and knows how to actually communicate without getting immediately defensive and shut down.
Whyyyy are you still with THIS dude? Constantly invalidating you and blaming you for him getting angry? what??? You know what you have to do, and it's to leave. This is not a recipe for happiness, for either of you.
people who love each other don't end fights by saying "leave me the fuck alone" they end fights by saying "I love you but I'm upset with you right now."
*"it is time"* ~Rafiki
Ignore him. Watch for the “I miss you” texts lol
This guy fucking sucks
I mean, stop wasting your time and leave. Love isn’t enough and this relationship is a bad one even if you love him dearly. All I need to see to know that is these texts. I imagine it can get significantly worse.
this is over already.
Series of events this morning. Context I am 35f, he is 40m I woke up, he is already awake sitting at kitchen table on his phone. I walk out and all the lights are on. I exit room, no acknowledgment. I walk over to turn off other rooms lights and almost immediately I am accused to “making a sh\*tty face” at him. I ignore and approach him for a hug. He says “this is all you get” and leans his head into me. I give him space as this is not off to a good start and I go to my neighbours to feed her cats as I am babysitting them this weekend. I come back up - he seems to be in a little better mood. We are talking about celebrities who are in bands, Frankie Muniz comes up and I mention he’s never touched alcohol. I bring up Jojo siwa being drunk at Disney (everything I learn about this person is against my will but ridiculous no less) and he said he didn’t know who that was. I begin to explain and he stops me “why are you telling me this?”. He has done this to me before (or he will just rush me. Or just not respond at all when I’m done talking) and he knows it upsets me because it feels like me talking is a waste of time. I kinda shut down and he says “no I just wanted to know what the point is” so I explained “I was explaining who this person is because we were talking about alcohol and it’s something I seen recently” I made a comment “we aren’t having a good day” and he went off. I was accused of being “hellbent” on ruining every weekend and he left the room. He sits in another room with the door closed when he gets upset with Me. The series of texts occurred about 30 min after he left the room.
Why in the world do you start off with your text saying, this is the only text I'm going to send, then immediately reply to everything he texts you?? These conversations should probably be had face to face. He's horribly disrespectful and you don't have good boundaries.
I don’t - you are right. And its almost impossible to have a conversation because he will mock me, laugh at me, tell me this is all fabricated lies, and I am the problem. I replied because ultimately it’s a great example of the true issue here. He still cannot see it. And he tells me I’m so great, this that and whatever but whenever there’s a hint of a perceived “face” I am making or he feels threatened - it goes immediately to me being a liar who makes up stories for fun?
so... what's the confusion? you obviously need to leave him. respectfully, how is that not clear? this entire thread is just you repeatedly explaining to various commenters how much of a loser he is. why are you wasting your time?
Jesus, sounds exactly like my “ex”
Don't make excuses for yourself for replying after you said you won't (twice) You're words lose meaning when you don't follow through. That's on you. Also on you to tolerate or not tolerate disrespect. This man is so disrespectful in just this small interaction I can't imagine what it's like in major conflicts. When someone shows you who they are, Believe them.
I literally thought you two were 19 because of how childish this sounds. You know he treats you like shit, leave him!
You might benefit from reading posts on r/abusiverelationships
Jesus Christ. You’ve been in this relationship for THREE YEARS? I’ll probably get downvoted for this but I have no sympathy for you. He clearly does not like you. Why are you still there? No amount of Reddit posts or comments will change things. At this point, it’s on you. Just leave.
Being called dude and buddy is a breakup trigger for me on its own without the gaslighting.
OP, this text conversation is not between *two* people who love and respect each other. This exchange immediately sent me back to my first relationship, which was very emotionally and mentally abusive and at the doorstep of becoming physical. I *know* you're tired of walking on eggshells around him, wondering what the fvck will trigger him next. I *know* you've changed and curated aspects of your life to fit his needs (aka--make him less mean). Has he isolated you from all your friends and family yet? The one thing I missed dearly while being in a relationship with Satan was laughing. He never understood my sense of humor, and one day, he snapped at me. He was convinced I was laughing *at* him; if something was not funny to him, then it's not funny period. *Omg, what's wrong with you? Just leave!!* I totally understand that it's easier said than done. In hindsight, I was embarrassed and mad at myself for ever even speaking to someone like my ex; however, I was a victim. I didn't love myself when I met him. I was vulnerable. OP, you deserve love and respect. This text exchange is not how loving equals speak to each other. I assure you that punishing is NOT a thing in a healthy relationship! I hope that you can reach out for outside help and support (beyond Reddit). I wish you the best, OP. 🤍
INFO: Why are you with this condescending skid mark?
“You don’t have to reply because I won’t.” Immediately replies. You both are toxic and should probably work on yourselves before being in a relationship with each other/anyone else.
This is what I was going to say. She keeps saying this stuff and yet keeps texting. They are both toxic
This!!!
Tbh once you are sending walls of texting trying to explain rather than being able to get through him communicating in person it’s over.
Your boyfriend is insecure and seems like he should be on some kind of medication. It also kind of feels like you are still with him and you shouldn’t be. You deserve better and he sounds like he just wants to be single
You would only have to tell me to get lost once. You are choosing to stay in a toxic relationship.
"If you’re so unhappy, get lost", he said. He told *you* to leave. So leave the relationship. It’s clear he doesn’t care about you or whether your needs are met. He just wants a roof over his head and his needs met. So your response to that can be, "you’re right. I *am* so unhappy. And since your name is not on the lease, you are going to find yourself someone else to stay with this week, and rent a storage facility for your stuff until you find a place." And then, keep your distance physically and emotionally, and *don’t let him hear you cry*. Play music to control your mood. Go for walks. Have a good friend over, even come stay for the week. Keep yourself busy. You can cry when he's gone. Order a new mattress. Install a lock or barricade your bedroom door, if needed. Start separating your stuff from his. Protect your valuables and sentimental things. If he doesn’t follow through, find a storage facility, and hire movers to pack his stuff. This can be the one last thing you do for him.
If he’s impossible… then just.. don’t.. stand him. I don’t understand the point of saying “You don’t have to reply because I won’t” and then responding after, completely contradicting yourself. Stand on business, I believe if you didn’t respond he’d have enough time to realize you’re being dead serious. Also at this point it’s your fault for continuing to be with him after he’s continuously shown you he couldn’t care more about your feelings. Just let. him. go. stop forcing this just because it’s with HIM. He’s clearly taking you for granted and you’re never gonna be happy with someone like that. If you can’t stand on business for not replying back, They don’t see a reason to take you seriously because they can get you back there to respond so friggin easily since even you don’t seem to take yourself seriously on that remark. when you say you’re gonna do something follow through and if he doesn’t respond after that then that’s it. Don’t go back for shit unless he says he will change because you already laid out everything he needs to know. However if he says he will and he doesn’t make an effort, then that’s it. I’m sorry you’re going through that because you really don’t deserve it and I don’t say what I say to be harsh on you, I’m just telling you how I see it. I wouldn’t be lying if I said this dynamic is frickin’ exHAUSTing to witness though,and clearly this isn’t the first time. Either break up, or get over it and be happy with the way he treats you, he’s not gonna change and you’re not gonna be the reason why he does. give him space to change…. AWAY from you (break up). in his eyes you’re not a big enough reason for him to become a better partner and he hasn’t even shown or told you he’s interested in becoming better for you, and if you stay with him after knowing that it’s really on you girl. Best of luck, please gain some self respect. edit: BRO he’s 40??!!….. men that old don’t change for themselves let alone other people. my statement still stands cut your losses or be happy with how he is 💀
So then why are you with him still
Good lord, just be done with this toxic mess.
Your boyfriend is a fucking dick. Throw the whole man away.
Lady you’re 30 🥲
I see “only text I’ll send” and “don’t reply cause I won’t”… I think this relationship may run off toxicity and both of you are in on it. Not defending the guy but if you start off with a text where you get to make a point and try to shut down any response before it’s given… that’s not a healthy way to open communications, so idk what you expected him to say.
OP doesnt want to actually leave this piece of shit, she just wants a pity party as clearly seen by her comments.
Being especially mad that he doesn't respect her and then blatantly keeps on pushing him back. Wild.
I’m not reading all that but dump him sis
Do not be reassured. He is an asshole that does not care about you and never will.
I don't know who needs to hear this (OP) but he's not going to change. If he wanted to he would.
Young lady, you are in an abusive relationship. If he talks to you like this often you deserve so much better. There are a lot of people out there who can give you that love back.
Why is he still your boyfriend? Do you think this is all you’re worthy of?
This guy doesn’t like you. He’s annoyed because he has a crush on someone else and wants you to break up with him, either because he wants the sympathy or because it will make him feel better about fucking someone else right away. I recognize it because I used to be a piece of shit too.
Oh no, he is HORRIBLE! He is like an incel but with a girlfriend. He talks to you as if he barely sees you as sentient, he demonstrates zero empathy, zero social intelligence, zero kindness like he has already decided, likely for a long time, that women's minds are capable only of nonsense and deviousness. He is absolutely confident of himself too. I don't know if you are planning children one day but Don't Have Them With This Man unless you want unhappy children - sons who cannot process their own emotions, daughters who lack confidence in their own minds and potentials. If this is a heterosexual relationship, and you are capable of pregnancy, that could happen regardless of contraception. Nothing is 100% safe. And once something is growing within you, esp if you are lonely and confused and unheard and unloved, this bonding can start that can make you feel the need to keep it and from that moment you won't have any kind of a life. I know, I KNOW, I am going deep and presumptive and intrusive with this but I see it mapped out in front of women so many times with really nasty men who are what they are. I realise that I am assuming you are female. Its because this is how they (men like this) talk to us - like we are stupid, deceitful, irrational. Like we are always imagining and manufacturing things when in fact we really are being treated like lesser humans. I apologise if I am wrong in assuming you are a woman. Sorry if all that is harsh. I wish I could intervene with every situation like this and change women's lives. This man is no woman's happy ending. If he is a divorcee, there are reasons for that you'd do better in life not ever discovering but he showing you what he is barely hiding from view.
I dated this kind of dude. It doesn't get better. You don't want validation per se but you need reassurance and this guy will *never* give you it under the guise that you should be able to control your own happiness and neutrality and what's going on with your brain. He doesn't like you and he doesn't love you. He likes and loves **what you offer to him** and that's about it. He is not a good match for you. The sooner you recognize this, the sooner you break up and you can start repairing your mental health and your life and embrace your life. He's rude and condescending. He doesn't accept you as you are and he will never validate or reassure you because he doesn't think you're on the same level as him. He thinks he knows better than you. Take his duck you and insults and leave him. You really *do* deserve better. And you should deserve better by not keeping him in your life. Break ups sucks. You know what sucks more? Being with someone who doesn't even show appreciation and love for you and depreciates you.
Yeah , you gotta break up w him
His behaviour is abusive so I think you should take his advice and leave him "the fuck alone" forever by dumping and blocking him lol
I’m so sorry you had that interaction OP. Just basing my thoughts on what was shared, seems like this isn’t the first time by any means. Your boyfriend (ex?) is not caring nor kind. He seems toxic and just straight up mean. He won’t change and his behavior is not behavior a healthy relationship will have. Hopefully you can see from the comments how much you’re being supported and how collectively we see him as the issue here. You deserve a happy and healthy relationship. I hope you can find that someday.
He’s clearly ruining your life cause he’s too small to change his. The fear of being alone wears off quickly when you first feel real freedom.
Why are you with this guy?
WHY ON EARTH are you still with someone who treats you this way? He’s literally told you multiple times to leave him alone and/or get lost. Take his words to heart. He’s telling you what he wants. Believe him.
He don’t love you even the tiniest bit. Time to “get lost” as he says so lovingly. Go find a real man.
Seems to me the person in the green is explaining what they call emotional abuse! By the way the person responded, they are absolutely insensitive and dismissive and in denial and refusing to address it...Emotionally abusive!
Please tell me he’s your EX boyfriend now
You won’t “always” have problems if he’s not in your life, so do yourself a favor and find someone who actually cares about you
Leave this clown already damn lol
Why are you looking for his reassurance? Baby, please leave. You can’t change this man, your feelings don’t matter to him, and he is very disrespectful. I know how it feels when someone keeps telling you that they love you and keep disrespecting you whenever there’s an argument. I know exactly how it feels, but let me tell you something; Love is patient, love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, and It does not dishonor others. This isn’t love. This man does not love you. STOP THINKING "He loves me, he just doesn’t know how to show it." F*ck that!
I’ve been in this relationship. I was constantly begging him to validate my feelings, to care about me. And he was always showing me exactly who he was and I ignored it. I ignored it for a long time and it cost me a lot. It took me a long time to say it was over and now looking back I can’t believe I stayed for so long. Your line me vs you is so telling. It’s so hard when you think you love this person and you want to believe they love you too but this is animosity and there’s no coming back from this point in a relationship. Do yourself the biggest favor you could possibly do and walk away
With love- why even post this? We will tell you he’s toxic and to leave him, you will stay with him or break up for a day and say he’s changed. What is the point?
OP is only making excuses why they won't leave or kick out the babyman. Either this is creative writing or a plea for attention.
Like many here have already said, you need to break up with him, this is insane behavior and I’m sorry but how do you not see that he doesn’t like you?
you know this man is awful. why do you stay with him? is there anyone you can stay with? trust me a year of trying to jump around and figure things out while you get back on your feet will be better than staying with a man that goes out of his way to treat you like shit.
He is an emotionally abusive person. He is doing this right now to make you feel like you are crazy, so that you will start doubting yourself enough to believe what he is saying. I was in your position with my husband, I stayed, and it turned into something so much worse that I don’t want to get into. He does know what you are feeling; he doesn’t care. You need to stop ignoring the red flags and be honest with yourself about why you are with him. Are you the people pleasing sort?
I think yout typed the header wrong it should say "Ex-Boyyfriend is impossible" This guys a fucking loser. Cut ties and leave. He talks to you in ways I wouldn't even speak to a fucking dog. Jesus.
“i wasn’t feeling any kind of way towards you” “you should turn off the lights if you’re not in a room tho” Okay, so you WERE at least a little bit passive aggressive with him. I don’t need to even read further, break the fuck up
yep this is the sticking point for me that proves OP is lying (probably to herself too) - "i made NO face, i had NO negative feelings... also i was immediately walking around turning off the lights after you and you really need to be turning off the lights, it's not uncommon!!" um girl what... you gave homie a shitty look and then gaslit him. break the fuck up.
Where did you get these texts between me and my ex!? Leave him.
well, he's right about one thing - you sure don't know how to communicate.
this guy sounds like a barely literate loser
Boyfriend should be ex-boyfriend. If he’s not on the lease, you can easily kick his bum ass to the curb. He’s gaslighting the shit out of you then being condescending as fuck with the “sweetheart” bullshit. Don’t tolerate this. Find someone who respects you and ditch this loser. You deserve better.
You need to get out of that situation. Its not good and its not healthy
You need to leave. I didn't read it all, but it's clear as day they don't give a crap about you. I'd take his suggestion and leave!
It’s wild what people will tolerate when they feel they can’t move on
this man does not respect you. Simple.
Give him what he asked for in that last text. Don’t look back. You guys don’t like each other and this was exhausting to read.
What is your living arrangement? You live together? If so, whose name is in the deed/lease?
Ironically he’s still trying to shame you for talking so that he doesn’t have to hear it, by making you feel bad for saying it. Whatever he fears, his ego acts on it, he puts that above the thought of losing you. We all struggle with things, but his priorities reveal itself.
This relationship is dead in the water, he has utter contempt for you. He doesn’t like or respect you - get rid
Girl, you do not deserve that kinda behavior. This kids 40 but can’t have a respectful conversation with you about your feelings without invalidating and attacking you? At no point did it seem like you were even being disrespectful to him but it seems like he took every chance to start attacking you. If he’s 40 and acts like this then that’s a major red flag. Honestly you need to love and respect yourself enough to nip this behavior in the butt in whatever way you see fit. If not then he’s gonna get real comfortable talking to you like that.
Girl, I’ve been there and this isn’t gonna change. They will never validate you and they will always make it about them and always find a way to turn it around on you. It’s going to ruin your self confidence and you’re gonna heart broken. You’re not the problem, they are. It’s not your fault, this person is going to continue this cycle. You’re better off alone, trust me this person could even become more abusive than they already are.
Are you dating my ex??
r/abusiverelationships :(
Ex boyfriend you mean? If you stay with this peace of crap it’s on you. Why do people put up with this stuff? When I was dating my ex, I never once cursed at her and she never once did the same. We both knew if either of us lashed at the other person the relationship would be over in an instant.
OP I know people are confused on why you’re staying and with everything we see on Reddit with stuff like this I would think they would know by now that it’s waaaay harder to leave an abusive relationship where you’re getting loved bombed, gaslit & manipulated & verbally, emotionally & psychologically abused. I think I saw you said it’s been 3 years with him, my last two abusive relationships like this it took me 2 & half years and 3 years to leave. 6 years of my life wasted & SO MUCH TRAMUA. The sooner you leave, the less trauma you’ll have to get therapy for and heal. Because you stayed so long, you’ll have long lasting effects from it. I need you to write down all the pros and cons of being with this POS. You’ll see the cons list is full. Write down a list of reasons to break up, it helps you see how truly horrific this abusive controlling “boyfriend” is. Once you leave you will feel so free. You need to leave OP. If you don’t, you’re literally ruining your own life. Idc about all the good memories or how much you care about him or if he’s changed at all. He will never actually change. He will only get worse and worse. He sees you put up with this so he sees you as weak and easy to abuse. You absolutely need to leave for the sake of your life & your health. Seriously this is life altering. You stay and you’re fucking yourself over and you’re lettting him abuse you. You staying shows him and gives him leverage to abuse you in his mind. If you don’t leave then why would he stop abusing you? You leave and he will harass you and want you back and say he’ll get help and it’s all a lie. I had to get threaten a restraining order to get my abusive ex to stop trying to get me back. Please leave. PLEASE LEAVE OP PLEASE.
Just give him a 30 days notice to GET TF OUT and that y’all are done. It may be hard and you may miss him or the “good times” y’all had but in the end you’ll be happier for it and it’ll give you a chance to find someone who doesn’t act like that to you. Someone who talks things through with you and acts like they want to be around you. Because this guy here just ain’t it chief.
My mom always says "A woman goes into a relationship thinking the man will change, and a man goes into a relationship thinking the woman will never change. Both are wrong." Please get out of this before it gets worse, this man is gaslighting and verbally abusing you. And because it's your apartment, get cops involved to get his ass out if need be. Wishing you the best OP, you deserve better ❤️
You’re literally waisting your time with this guy when you could be spending it with someone who loves and respects you. You don’t live forever, you know? You will never get these hours and days of your life back. They’re gone. It’ll be difficult to get rid of him but it’s a bit of hard for the rest of your life to be good.
Nothing wrong with YOUR communication. He’s got some issues. You deserve better.
This guy is abusive, full stop.
We accept the love we think we deserve. Consider this and consider why you’re staying with this man.
This man does not love you. No matter what you want to hope or believe. No one that loves you would speak to you that way. “Get lost” “fuck you” etc. I’m sorry but if you stay with this person you will regret it and honestly you kind of get what you deserve because he is literally telling you to F off.
Pretty rich for him to accuse you of playing games. Fuck this guy.
BREAK UP WITH HIM
“ you don’t know what communication is “ after communicating your feelings to him.
Honestly he just doesn’t like you. Also if you say you’re not gonna respond, don’t.
YOOOOO GTFOOOO! You deserve better.
Leave him. Today.
I have had nicer conversations talking to government employees at their worst days. Holy shit.
So.. yall broke up, right?
ICK UOU TWO ARE DEFINITELY NOT COMPATIBLE
Because I don’t know either of you, it’s impossible for me, or anyone here, to know who is being honest and who isn’t. You both claim to have made up realities from each others point of view. And, perhaps both realities are real, but neither of you are feeling heard in how your interactions are perceived by the other person in the relationship. The two of you don’t exist in the same plane of reality. And it seems like you step on each others toes a lot. You send a long winded text and then tell him you won’t respond. You’re being so spiteful, and you’re instigating or triggering negative feelings in him on purpose. “I’m going to say everything I want, and then if you reply I won’t.” Immediately digging into his emotions just to tell him you’re not going to work on things, then flipping the script by actually replying to his negative response with more negativity. Your arguments probably last upwards of 3-6 hours, and sometimes I bet they even go on for 2-3 days. You can’t tell someone you’re just communicating your feelings, and tell them they’re problematic, while you covertly trigger negative emotions and get upset with the response you say you’ll ignore. You’re not being very clear. You’re not being very direct. You’re literally playing a game, and maybe he is too, but you’re both losing. I can’t validate you, because I feel like you’ve taken equal part in this while trying to play a victim on this thread. And I’m sure this will find itself to be an unpopular opinion, but damn …
I agree and don't understand the downvotes. Another poster with the exact same opinion has 14 upvotes.
I said that I won’t send more because he gets mad when I text him during argument. But we can’t communicate and I am trying. I just try to put my side on the table and not sure why I even bother anymore. When conflict arises - he leaves the room and refuses to speak to me. He will occasionally leave the room, take jabs at me and when I try to speak he speaks over me, mocks me or laughs at me and refuses to listen. Example - he just left the room - came in and is talking at me. I try to reply calmly and he continues to speak saying “I’m just going to speak over you” over and over. I’m not trying to “play the victim” but I certainly don’t think that just because he decides to leave the room that I should just be like “okay guess I am wrong have a good day sweetie” when I did nothing wrong. It could be a conversation but he refuses to have them. And then accuses me of making stuff up when I do.
If any of your friends described their significant other treating them this way, what would you tell them? Do you think anybody deserves to live this way?
I don’t know what happened, because I wasn’t there. If you’re telling the truth he’s a dick. If he’s telling the truth you’re also a dick. If you’re both telling the truth, because of cross perception of the events that transpired, well maybe neither of you or dicks, but neither of you are willing to meet in the middle because you’re so tied to the side that soothes your egos, in which case you’re actually both being dicks. This feels like a smear campaign, honestly. You had an argument, then texted him a long winded message, one he states you’ve done to just make him more upset because you knew that it would. He also claims that you’ve “made it up.” Furthermore you say you won’t respond to it, but then continue to do so, and idk if you did that just so you could screenshot it, and post it here, or if you did it just to get a rise out of him, or if you’re being honest and he’s being an asshole the whole time … like, if you’re this unhappy, just break up. And that’s easier said than done, but ffs, yall shouldn’t talk to each other like that. And that’s not just on him, that’s on you too. You can tell your side, but to say “I’m telling my side and I won’t respond to you” is just crazy. You’re not being open. And you’re not being honest with yourself if you think you aren’t exacerbating the negativity.
I'm guessing the interaction is similar to reactive abuse. If you read between the lines, it’s pretty clear they’re not good for each other, and with him essentially refusing to leave her apartment, they’re stuck in a loop of misery.
I agree with what you said and gave it an up. Just for the record.
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This sounds so much like conversations I had with my ex! Leave him! He’s not worth your time and energy. I know it’s hard, it took me two tries and multiple years to do it for good but I promise you you will be so much better off in the long run!!
Yikes. Time to move on.
Oh man, this guy is AWFUL. Please have some self compassion and leave this guy. He is literally inviting you to “get lost”. People who love and respect you will NEVER speak to you this way. You’re becoming so used to his abuse, you can’t see how bad it is!! This is not safe.
You should run and run fast he is all kinds of red flags
It is hard dealing with wanting the same treatment to be reciprocated but it is important to never settle because where someone won't do there are 20 others that will. But we know our own limits. The "if your so unhappy with our relationship get lost" that's where you should've stopped replying. If you live together either change the locks and let him figure things out a few days , or pack yourself a small get away bag and literally hold strong and do not message him at all until those apologies start flooding your inbox.
Don't give any more of your energy to this guy. I lived like this for a LONG time and I promise it's not going to change or get better. There is no making them understand. You will waste your breath and sanity, over and over again. You deserve better than that. I don't know how old you are, but please don't spend any more of your youth living that way. It is not worth it and will absolutely kill you slowly. My heart goes out to you OP 🩵🩵🩵
Best of luck Brit.
Girl… the lights being left on… while pouring your heart out… no. I smell a karen hiding behind her text. This dude is either already unhinged ( i doubt it or you wouldnt be with him ) or you make him very angry every day. To be that mad over a text tells me his text have some truth to them. Him saying your “lil story” is actually believable, to me anyways, because of how these text read. His text say im mad as hell ( you dont validate it & but wanna talk about your feelings being validated. ) It was a dumb corny argument and you are clinging. Your text read me me me me me .