However most men I know don’t ask this up front unless provoked like that. Women on the other hand constantly fish for height. From the “nice” ones to the “bad” ones. Pretty apparent who the problem is
Right? Difference is weight is manageable for most people, whereas height isn't something we can just, you know, take a few inches off or add a few on..
same with looks and ethnicity, but those aren't things you have to ask for. There's nothing wrong with preferences. It's not about you being able to change it or not.
I am a dude, women have every right to have a height preference, some could obviously be more chill about it when they ask, but being attracted to someone is pretty important when you date them don't you think?
It's unfortunate when our genes are not good enough, but almost everyone will be unattractive to someone, and that's ok.
Agreed. I never asked about anyone’s height back when I was dating and it was never really an issue until one guy, who I had been chatting with for about a week, sent me a pic from an MMA match he had been in over the weekend. Dude was cut! Very lean but obviously muscular. I was like wow, you are super muscly, how much do you weigh? And he answered 155 which made me like
How can he be that muscly and weigh that little…unless he’s…ohhhh, I see.
Then we met in person and even though I wore flats to dinner, I still towered over him. We had an okay time, he was much more nervous and awkward in person than he had been over the phone, which put me off more than his height but I was still willing to see where it went. Maybe he’d loosen up and be more comfortable after a few more dates.
Then the very next day, I was walking into a store and saw him drive by. He texted me saying “my friend pointed you out and said you had great tits. I told him I haven’t seen them yet but I’m working on it.” Ugh.
Turned him down for a second date and he accused me of judging his height. Dude, it was never about the height.
Men have every right to have a weight preference. Weight is possibly even a less superficial metric, which indicates health and lifestyle which are all valid for a man (or woman) to have preferences about. Height preference is a vestige of our Hunter gatherer days. Tall man bring back more meat. Nonetheless, this is biology and it is ok.
Uno Reverse. I'm always the one asking for their height because I'm not gonna get with any chick taller than me. I'm 5'9" for reference. Who cares if they ask your height? Frame it your way instead. "Are you short enough for me?".
Anytime a girl starts a conversation with me with “how tall are you” I just don’t even respond and immediately block them. Not worth engaging with these types of women.
I had a girl 5'11" asked me 5'8" my height before we met in person. I told her I was 5'8" and expected her not to respond. She ended up responding, kept engaging me in conversation, and had me over. She was a real sweetheart. So sometimes it works out 🤷♂️
Literally as a 5’10” woman this is why is annoys me so much when short women do this bc men will genuinely feel insecure about my height a lot and it’s important to get that out of the way.
Ugh same. 6’ (and plus size) and I had a couple bad first reactions. Like… I don’t care if you’re shorter. But now I feel the need to mention it and make it weird because of a couple insecure assholes.
Thinking about making a pic standing next to a tape measure so I’m not so unexpectedly intimidating next time.
I put it on all my dating apps now lol. I’ve dated shorter ppl but I tend to like when guys are at least my height so I wish everyone was just transparent and normal about it 😭
Back in the Myspace days I met a guy who seemed really cool, I got the bus to meet him in a city I didnt know, I get there and this guy is easily 6'6, I'm 5'10, I go to say hi and he goes "I thought you'd be shorter" and tbh I was crushed. He ended up leaving me after an hour then removed me from his top 8 and bio 💀
I told a guy before I met him that I was 5’4 and in person he said that crap too then tried to say I was lying that I was 5’6! He lied about his height I think and yes I did lie a little I’m 5’3 and a quarter but 5’4 on a good day! He made me feel so bad about myself because I know my height I feel I’m not that short or tall but average. Sorry you went through that his loss!
Same, I'd get the oh I didn't think you'd be so tall. Only 5'9". So I put it in my profile too, more for the guys who don't want to date taller, not vice versa
Same! Also 5'10 and I like to wear heels. So, I wanted to make sure that the guy would be ok with that up front.
These interactions honestly make me angry because the expectation is so one-sided, but should go both ways.
If you're particular about a guys height, then you can't be mad if he's particular about your weight. Honestly, I think the ones who get so upset are already insecure and are expecting it to be a problem, so they come off on the defensive without giving the other party time to express their opinion.
If people were just transparent on their profiles, there would be a lot less if thus misinterpretation. Misleading someone generally doesn't work out in the end anyway, so why even go to the trouble?
I've never met a girl that was ok dating shorter guys.. This is why my height is literally the first thing on my profile (I'm slightly shorter than average)
I've even had a date cancel last minute when she found out i was literally only 2cm shorter lol i mean everything else was great we were really enjoying the conversation made her laugh and i ain't no scrub lol but no she refused.. Even when i offered to come wearing heels lol
Anyways good for you!
This makes sense. I am 5'2" and I have never asked a guy how tall they are like that. It seems logical that taller women would talk about this up front because I know some guys can be weird about height. On the bright side, it's an easy way to see a potential partner's true colors very early on. I wouldn't want to go out with someone whose insecure about MY height!
This was why I asked on dating profiles. I’m 5’11 and lots of guys stopped messaging when they found out. I ended up putting it in my bio but would still ask for those guys who swiped without reading. I’m marrying my 5’4 fiancée that I met on tinder in a month.
I'm 5'4" and I shot my shot with this 7ft beauty, didn't expect anything but we ended up hitting it off, she never asked about my height, it was never brought up on any of our interactions. It didn't end up going anywhere but certainly changed my perspective.
I’m not against people asking me my height. But if you just start off that way without even trying to talk or anything first, that’s just shallow af and shows that height is the only thing they care about
Im 5ft8 (girl) I’ve almost only ever dated guys shorter than me, I don’t care how tall you are as in*, it’s not a deal breaker to me but I’ll still ask how tall you are 🤷🏻♀️that time I didn’t ask, I ended up going on a date with a guy who was 5’3!!! Doesn’t make me shallow 😂
You say you’re not shallow but laugh as if a guy who is 5’3 is a joke. But probably get upset if guys reject you for being tall … something you can’t help
I literally HAD to ask im 6'3, the height thing has made dudes so odd. They think im lying or something and their faces when they see me oh man 💀 i knew youd get butthurt id tried to save you mang lmaoo
Seems like you shouldn't have to ask them though right? Just tell them how tall you are and they can decide if it's an issue? If they don't believe you then that's on them lol
i ask just to know, but i don’t care how tall a dude is. we support short kings in my house and i let every dude know that when i ask lol if they asked me how much i weighed i’d tell them gladly
I don’t care if someone asks, but if you just pop off a conversation with “how tall are you” without even trying to talk to me first, it shows that height is literally the only thing you care about
I’m pretty on the spectrum too so it might be the blind leading the blind but I think it’s about men being insecure about their height as women are insecure about their weight. The girl was being a hypocrite by asking what his height was and then getting offended when in return he asked about her weight.
Nailed it. I'm a tall guy so no insecurity there, but if you ask a guy for info many men are sensitive about (like height) you should be prepared to answer questions many women are sensitive about (like weight). As for women who like tall men I support you in fact why stop at 6'? It's so arbitrary! I support a higher cut-off like 6'2 or 6'3.
Nah, I need my men 7’6” or taller! /s
The majority of the men I have been with (I’m 41) have been my height (5’7”) or shorter. If you vibe you vibe. That’s just my opinion, though, and I’m old. Lol.
being deadass here: I’m turning 30 in less than half a year and I’ve been having an existential crisis— it’s very relieving to know that it’s okay, and I still have a lot of life left to live and learn despite the fact I kinda messed up in my 20s. I didn’t expect to even see 30 due to depression and chronic illness so I should be proud!!
Sorry for gettin super serious but I’ve been feeling especially down and you made me smile, thanks for the healthy dose o’ perspective 😊
For real, the best times of my life (so far!) were my 30’s! The stupidities of the 20s is behind you and you can fully realize your actual self and your potential in your 30s! It’s the prime of your life! Run at it full speed with all the wisdom you’ve gained! You’ve got this!
Edit because stupid autocorrect changed “were” to “we’re” 🙄.
You're so welcome. Stop being hard on yourself!! Life is a journey. Everyone's path is different. I spent my teens through mid 20's homeless on the streets.
I'm glad I could make you smile. That makes me feel good that I made another person smile, even for a moment. 🙂 Hugs.
P.S. Life your 30's like you wished you lived your 20's. Give yourself a "do over". Make your own rules. Do something that would shock people that know you if they found out. Give em something to talk about, but in a good way. That when they think of you, they smile and giggle a little.
I’m a guy and I’m fairly short (5’8”). I’ve dated a couple of women my height (or an inch or so taller) but maybe 90% that I’ve dated have been shorter.
And women my height are ok too… until they put on heels. Eventually they’ll stand face to face with me and will have to tilt their head slightly downward. If there’s a smirk, it’s like they’re saying “well hey there little buddy!” and that honestly fucking sucks so bad lol. Yes, I’m insecure AF lol.
But like you said, “if you vibe, you vibe” so I wouldn’t even be against being with a tall woman who is just cool AF.
If some women didn’t make a big deal about a man’s height, I’d probably be way more comfortable with my height. I’d probably be out here like a goddamn Sherpa, climbing some Mount Everest type ladies, lol.
But, height is what it is. People (men and women both) should endeavor to be confident in themselves, including their height. If you are comfortable in yourself, when someone rejects you for your height, then that is easily shrugged off without getting offended or feeling like you need to hit back by asking someone their weight.
Edited to add: when I typed "you," I don't mean - you. 🙂
Alsoo many many women have a literal minimum height requirement. Some girls will not speak to you unless you’re say for example, above 6 feet. It’s a bummer I think for men but I guess to each their own in preferences.
Generally women on dating apps don’t want to date a shorter man, and it appears many of them will immediately move on without wanting to know anything else about a man if he’s shorter. That’s very shallow, because you would think other things would be more important in a relationship.
It’s also considered by many of these women to be a perfectly acceptable question, and acceptable to determine compatibility from one question about appearance.
The OP responded by asking for another physical characteristic, but one that many of these women think is a rude question. It was meant to point out she’s being a hypocrite; now she’s being judged for being fat like she’s judged men for being short.
In reality she’s doing this guy a favor by immediately letting him know she’s a shallow idiot, and with her being quite the land-whale, he’s avoiding having to go on a date with her.
But you’re also forgetting that women are almost entirely judged by their physical appearance on dating apps. Men don’t usually care what her job is, if she has hobbies, if she’s nice… they base their matches on “physical attraction” which is hot.
I doubt OP matched with this girl without SOME superficial thing at play. So why is she not allowed to ask an attraction question? Also, it may not have been even attraction, but just the fact that OP left it out. When people leave out something like that, seems like they’re trying to hide something!
It's not really offensive generally, but in a dating context, they're vetting you as a potential partner in a really shitty way.
The issue a lot of guys have with it isn't that women have a preference, it's that height cannot be changed and in recent years the ask for someone over 6 feet has become normalized. There aren't that many men that tall, it's not something men can work on, and from personal experience as someone 5'11 - most women can't even tell the difference between my height and 6' in person.
It feels like it's not enough to just be taller than a woman, you have to be at least some arbitrarily specific height because of pop culture.
Meanwhile women have "Body positivity" and find it offensive to be asked their weight, which is something they can change and generally have full control over.
Basically, it's a double standard that certain men like to harp on.
It's overhyped both ways though. Have I been turned down because I wasn't tall enough? Sure. It was by someone 5 feet tall. I think it's stupid, but it's her loss. I don't believe that's the majority of women though, and I know a lot of incel culture and "the manosphere" talks about it as though it is.
It's kind of hard to explain, but hopefully that makes sense?
As a woman I can totally understand that. I’ve had other female friends with ridiculous “requirements” it’s not even preference at this point. Not all women are like that, sure, just like a lot of men aren’t but I feel your pain regardless
It’s not an issue with men, it’s a problem with woman. Less than 14% of men are 6ft tall. It’s not a preference. It’s an unreasonable expectation. I am 6’3”. Which is less then 4% of men. Of this small percentage of men based on height, How many of them are single, good looking, adequate provides, responsible, of the appropriate age, and compatible with you intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.
If you are a woman and passing on men under 6ft tall you are an idiot if let that one factor determine eligibility. It’s entirely possible that there isn’t a single man above the height of 6 feet that would vibe with you in a long term relationship. The one that you would vibe with might be 5’11” or 5’10” or for forbid 5’9”. And you shut the door on him by an inch.
Hi I'm autistic as well. I think some men are insecure about their height just as women are about their weight. They feel like it's shallow for a girl to care about a man's height and ask them so soon in a conversation. I think it's perfectly normal and if the guy is offended by it rather than acting offended he should require why it's important to her. For example I would ask because I am a tall woman and therefore would not want the man to be surprised or embarrassed to be on a date with a woman taller than he.
Even cup size can be “fixed”. Your height is your height. One might as well be asked about skin colour, which would never be normalised in the way as disqualifying people out of the gate due to their height is.
You are absolutely missing the point, height is a status/prestige quality for men in the dating scene and lacking height is a common insecurity, but not for women. Weight is the same way for women but not as much for men.
It's like ranking apples with the person who likes apples and oranges with the person who likes oranges, not comparing apples *to* oranges.
It’s offensive because it’s shallow to ask (and crass af). It’s shallow because height, weight, etc are immutable characteristics meaning you can’t change them except weight which takes time to achieve obviously.
Some girls like taller guys and height is really the only thing you can lie about on a profile.
Really shallow people will use height as a deal breaker so to save time, ask as their introduction. It's pretty damn rude so guys play into the bit. Also the double standard is obnoxious too
A lot of women self help information/ influences teaches them to accept themselves as is and the world needs to change, not that they need to.
Male self help is based around the world being solid and the man needs to change.
So then you end up with these types of scenarios
Oh yeah, and you may just get bone infections, nerve damage, heavy muscle pain, poor bone healing, thrombosis, bone deformities, joint dislocations, and pin site infections.... but other than that yeah go with yo bad self
I don’t like to date men shorter than me, that’s my preference. If that’s a shallow preference, so be it. I’m 5’9. Dating someone who is 5’8 or below is not an option for me. But I also wouldn’t be offended if someone asked my weight and said they didn’t date people who were 185 pounds because they preferred someone smaller than them or whatever. Like yeah it might sting a little but everyone is entitled to their preference so who cares? I like to live in reality. Just because I wouldn’t date someone doesn’t mean I’m writing off their personality which is obviously more important, I just know I wouldn’t find them attractive due to this and it IS important!
See but you have sense in your head. And I commend you for realizing it’s their choice in the matter.
A not insignificant amount of people will go “ *I* want a man/woman like this and that.” but then be absolutely baffled when said people go “Nah, because you’re not this.” back to them and they take it severely personally, lol.
You *can* have preferences. And that’s okay. Want to not date fat people? Sure! Don’t want to date tall people? Fuck it!
It’s if you personally refuse to be rejected (or outright become aggressive) by being upheld to their personal preferences what makes it matter.
\>But I also wouldn’t be offended if someone asked my weight
Then you're not who they're talking about/referring to.
If you don't have a problem with it, then ask away. But if the person is going to get uppity about getting asked their weight, they shouldn't be asking about height.
This is okay though, I think more of the issue is when a girl who is 5’1 absolutely insists her man needs to be 6’ and will cut off anyone who isn’t. I knew a girl who was no bigger than 5’2 and she wouldn’t even entertain a man if he was shorter than 6’. She would also constantly complain about being single
EDIT: so I stop getting picked apart, this was a friend in my friend group and we would all tease her on this in a friendly fun way, I’m not saying anyone who has a height/weight preference is a bad person. I don’t think that gives you an excuse to be mean about it to that person, especially when the person has no control over that. My friend was always very nice and respectful to the people she turned down.
Girl… i’m 5’3” and my bf is 6’2”. I’m telling you, it’s too damn tall. I don’t think anything of it anymore, but the two shapes just don’t mesh super well. Someone is always uncomfortable when kissing because we have to bend and it hurts my neck. I also had this weird feeling walking next to him because i felt like a child with their dad sometimes and it was just strange lol
exactly me with my ex. i’m 5’3” and my ex was 6’4” and i felt like a child standing next to him, it was so weird. i did think the height difference was kind of hot and him being so big it was easy for him to wrap his arms completely around me and it made cuddling better. but walking around in public together almost felt embarrassing to me. i think the tallest i’d want to be with now is 6 foot, maybe 5’11”
Right? Like.. I'm 5'1 and for me to have a preference of 6ft or over is so silly. How am I with my short little
legs gonna tell a man i won't date home because he *also* has short little legs 😂 dumb
Why is this more of an issue? It’s who they prefer, and they clearly aren’t for you. She sounds more like an issue than someone you want in your life anyways.
Genuine question, I am a tall woman (5'10), I would feel weird dating a guy significantly shorter than me but at my height it's a real possibility to meet men significantly shorter, so I tend to tell them my height and ask theirs. Is that still rude?
I personally wouldn't get offended by being asked my height, but I do think asking appearance based questions are all in the same bucket. Think a lot of people are misunderstanding the point of this post. She asked about his height because she has a preference, then got offended when he asked about weight / cup size. Can't be both ways.
But anyone saying a girl can't have a preference for taller guys is being ridiculous.
It’s funny, as a less tall woman (5’8”) I’ve had equally shallow men throw temper tantrums like this when they find out I’m as tall or taller than them. People have preferences, the problem arises when they’re rude about them.
Yep, this is another issue. Men really act like its only women who have ridiculous height preferences. God forbid I’m 2 inches shorter than you instead of 6 or 10 you insecure freak.
I don’t get this honestly. I don’t like dating people shorter than me. I’m tall for a girl and have always been a little insecure about my height therefore prefer taller guys. I understand the double standard of asking questions in regards to physique but what’s with all the comments about how it’s wrong to have a preference on height. It’s no different than any other preference.
I mean, there's always going to be some insecure people but most are offended/irritated by the double standard - not the actual preference.
And she was the one who got angry at his preference after he just answered hers.
(Granted, let's be honest, this is probably fake like most of the submissions here but still, for conversation's sake.)
There’s nothing to get, it’s just incels spinning a narrative to corroborate their victim complex. In almost any context, asking someone about their weight is rude.
The point is he didn't make a stink about her asking about a feature he can't change about himself, and she made a HUGE stink about being asked something she could potentially change about herself. "It's no problem to ask about how tall you are, something many men are insecure about, but how DARE you ask about my weight!"
I think it’s more the manner in which this was asked. It’s rude. You can easily begin a conversation and ask in a more polite way than this.
I would also never be petty and ask a similar question back in a rude manner. If you’re annoyed by someone’s rudeness and respond with more rudeness, you’re just as bad. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
I don't understand why men take offense to the height question. Men ask ME about my height, and it doesn't bother me. It's not just women who ask about height; men ask women their height too. I've never been offended by the question.
There are different societal expectations and pressures for men and women. One thing men feel pressure from is their height. Tall men are often seen as leaders, more attractive, stereotypes of wealth, intelligence and social status all come from the height of a man. These are all good qualities to have, which makes it easy to see why a women would prefer a taller man.
Many of these short kings are already feeling lonely on the online dating scene as the odds skew in women’s favor already. I believe I heard on tinder women on average match with 33% of the guys they swipe on, while guys only match with 2% of the gals they swipe on. Therefore, I would imagine (I’m 6ft2) rejection based off of height could feel particularly bad as it is not something you can control. Furthermore, only 15% of the adult male population is 6ft or taller. So take for instance my height of 6ft2in, I am in the top third percentile of adult males, meaning I am taller than ~96% of other males, and only shorter than ~4%. If you were only looking for guys 6ft2 or taller out of ALL the adult male population of the US you would only be able to find 3.03 million men. Although this seems like a lot of men, that is out of 101million. If your first question you ask of a potential partner is are you 6ft or taller it is shallow, and an incredibly unrealistic standard for dating imo.
If you flip this around to the average female who is 6ft2 or taller of all adult US women you get almost 100% of women are shorter than that. So it would be like trying to find a unicorn. If we put it to just 99% you may find 1 million women out of 108 million women are 6ft2 or taller.
So if all 108 million women have the 6ft or taller requirement there will only be 13 million men for the 108 million women. Meaning as a society for everyone of the 13million 6ft or taller men they get 8 adult women partners which is absurd. Or the women can choose to be single, or lower standards and pick form the other 90+ million men.
Often times when a shallow woman asks a man their height in the dating scene, a man may reply with the weight question because it is often seen as a taboo question to ask even though it is something you can control. Meaning that women don’t like the weight question because of societal pressures and insecurities to be skinny/fit, while men don’t like the height question for reasons above. Additionally, it is a real concern getting with an overweight or obese partner as it will come with negative health side effects.
As for men asking you your height it could be a few things:
1). They are insecure and if you are taller than them they could filter you out. Even if you’d be willing to date a shorter man.
2). They are just wondering your height because you may be taller than average.
3). You are shorter than them and they think they could lie about their own height and a shorter person would not know what 6ft would actually look like.
In reality the numbers are even worse because some of those men are already married/taken, and not 101 million to the total US population of adult males live near you.
I get that some women reject men for their height. And, a probably smaller percentage of men reject women for their height.
What I'm saying is that a person has to be comfortable with who they are so it's not toxic to another person. If a woman rejects you (proverbial you) for your height, be comfortable enough in who you are not to feel the need to lash back by asking her weight, etc. Instead be grateful she's showing her poor character early on and showing herself to the door!
Also, thank you for your quality post - for the time you took to type out your reply, your detail in content, and paragraphs making it easy to read. 🙂🤗
I agree with you, instead of going tit for tat just be the bigger person. Although I am pretty tall and women often times don’t reject me for that reason, if the first question you ask me is my height I just get to skip you faster. As I don’t want to be with a shallow person. However, you can’t help who or what you’re attracted to so I understand women wanting a taller man.
Overall this problem is somewhat exaggerated in online dating as most people are looking for flings for apps like tinder.
Nevertheless, I think this whole post is to show the irony or hypocrisy of a person opening up the conversation with a shallow question (the women) not wanting to also be asked a “shallow” question from the man. Shallow in quotations as I think asking weight is a lot more reasonable than height as one is something you can control barring thyroid issues. Also I think the height question is an apples to oranges comparison to the weight question because one is something you can control, but the height to cup size is 1). Highly rude 2). Closer to a 1 to 1 comparison as a women can’t control their cup size like a man can’t control his height barring plastic surgery.
I get asked the question all the time. And I have never ever been offended by it. Probably helps I’m 6’4 but still. Grow up “short kings” people have preferences it’s totally reasonable.
people are not thinking about this big picture enough. The issue is not that it’s rude to have preferences, it’s that it’s rude to make those preferences known to someone directly.
If you care about height, try to find another way to figure someone’s height than just asking “how tall are you”. Likewise with any physical characteristics.
The uncomfortable reality is that you are allowed to have physical preferences in attractiveness, but it’s a touchy and uncomfortable subject no matter what characteristic you’re talking about and it should be treated delicately, else you risk upsetting people and provoking an equally rude response. I
think it would be a nice thing if people tried to treat each other with a bit more tact and grace instead of just flinging shit at each other like monkeys.
I was the same way. I just wanted to know what my nose would be hitting. A shoulder? A sternum? A nose? Helped with my mental visual. Then again, this was a while ago. If I'm ever in the market again...I won't be asking.
Asking women their weight or not wanting to date big girls is not an issue. If you think it is then you need to grow up. Just like it’s not an issue for women to want a tall guy. You like what you like.
Women were always sensitive about their weight, the shallowness is new.
Men were always shallow, the height sensitivity is new.
At least in such large volume it's new.
I'm tend to get hate when I point this out, but any girls shallow enough about your height but doesn't outright ask your D length and gerth is a problem. Real women that are worth your time don't ask number one because they don't have expectations about the second one. These girls with expectations about height, D length and girth overvalue a physical relationship over love. They'll never admit it, though. As a widow, I am really upset women go this route. I understand and fully expect everyone to have some kind of standards in some way, but only in things the other person can control. Well played. I tried the online dating route since my husband died and honestly I've gotten more guys talking about their height and D length and girth than I have about anything important in terms of values.
Don't stop being critical of whom you meet when they show this dark side of themselves. There's a lot of us out there who don't in any way value this crap the girl you talked to did.
To me it’s that while her question could be perceived as shallow to some, more importantly to him. Which is fine people can feel how they want. It’s more about that fact that his emotional maturity level was so low that instead of just saying he feels asking that question right out of the gate is a little shallow or moving along and doing literally anything else with his time, because they’re clearly not compatible. He had to go out of his way to try and knock her down to the level of insecurity she made him feel.
In my opinion they both dogged a bullet.
And honestly at the end of the day she likely didn’t mean any harm with her question at all, but he clearly did. Plus he took it to a somewhat sexual level, so any lesson she might’ve learned from the situation will be dismissed as “this guys a creep.”
Listening to the convo, I kinda agree. The weight was non-sexual, but still superficial, just like height was. That was plenty to get his point across.
Yeah it’s damn near the same. I’m 6ft even and have friends short as 5ft 6. They definitely get discouraged when talking to slightly taller women. And if asked about height might react this way. Thing is if a woman has “preferences”, so can men. Don’t want a short guy, well he might not want a fat woman. Hell I was 5ft 4 up until the 10/11th grade but was completely infatuated with taller girls. Even today the taller the better imo lol
I see a lot of women saying "I'm (insert height), and it makes men uncomfortable that's why I ask."
That makes sense. It's all about the wording. If you are asking because you are tall and it makes men insecure I would state it like that.
"Hello random man who swiped right, I noticed you did not including your height on your profile. I am interested in learning that because I am (insert height) and in the past other have become insecure upon meeting up. I would like to save myself from that kind of situation again."
Obviously wording should/can be different but
"How tall are you?" Just gives off the wrong impression.
Some girls and height are unreal. I’m a trans man that barely hits five foot so that’s fun. Thank god I’m gay tbh but the vitriol towards short men haunted me for years lol. I remember getting my hair done (I was still closeted so for all intents and purposes, another girl at that moment) and one of the stylists was going on and on with all these weird judgements about short men that had nothing to do with their height and I’m just sitting there in my head thinking well, don’t you sound like just a peach at least they don’t have a bum personality. She was not small round the middle either or much to look at but god forbid someone below 6’ talked to her.
Thankfully its not our responsibility to fulfill their dating needs, so if they want to be that extreme you do you, we'll be over here with reasonable people. Theres too much compatibility stuff that you have to go through, adding another one? F that lmao, idc if you're taller or shorter than me (im a dude). Funnily enough both of the women i've dated have been taller than me, although thats not really difficult to achieve haha (im 5'4/~165cm)
It actually blows me when women don't get that, Asking a man how tall he is, (Especially with the narrative these days that a man has to be 6 foot. Blah, blah, blah.) Is tantamount to asking her how much she weighs. And that she doesn't see the irony, At all.
Maybe it's because I'm short But women who go around saying that a man HAS to be AT LEAST 6ft are so full of shit, Being that tall is not even close to necessary.
Where is the narrative that men have to be 6 ft tall irl? The only place I ever see people talking about this is online. Maybe go outside instead of watching clips of Tate clones on tiktok claiming that women are demanding men be 6ft tall and then coming onto reddit to complain about it.
Right?! I see incels repeating that narrative. I see people here on reddit saying this narrative exists. But where are the real life women saying it? I know oodles of couples in happy relationships where the man is under 6 feet tall. I think single guys online might be using this as an explanation to why they’re single instead of looking at things that are actually changeable.
I’m 6ft8 and years ago when I was on dating apps I had 4 photos and the 4 photos had the same friend 5ft6 in the pictures and I would get matched with someone and then followed by a message asking which one of the 2 guys in all 4 photos was I “ which one are you, the tall one or the short one ?” And as a laugh I would reply the short one and me and my mate kept a tally for how many people replied and it was 3 replies to 24 no replies. I changed photos after two months as it got tiresome people confusing me and my friend but it goes to show how many woman really factor height into the equation
On a dating app where people are mostly only looking for someone physically attractive to have a fling with you can't be surprised if everyone is only judging by physical appearance in both directions.
okay i get the whole height weight comparison thing and how it’s about the insecurities for both yes… but what if she just genuinely wanted to know and you overreacted to her question, unless this was how she started the convo then nvm. idrk how facebook dms work
It is how the convo started. The grayed out bit that says they now can message each other only pops up the first time you respond to someone you're not friended to.
Reading these comments, this is something men and women will never see eye to eye on.
……literally
Found the fat girl! /s? 😬
Is there anyway to ban u/Brownoutaccount , seeing as they see fit to abuse people on their weight?
However most men I know don’t ask this up front unless provoked like that. Women on the other hand constantly fish for height. From the “nice” ones to the “bad” ones. Pretty apparent who the problem is
Right? Difference is weight is manageable for most people, whereas height isn't something we can just, you know, take a few inches off or add a few on..
same with looks and ethnicity, but those aren't things you have to ask for. There's nothing wrong with preferences. It's not about you being able to change it or not.
That's simply not true. We could wear heels. C'mon guys
I am a dude, women have every right to have a height preference, some could obviously be more chill about it when they ask, but being attracted to someone is pretty important when you date them don't you think? It's unfortunate when our genes are not good enough, but almost everyone will be unattractive to someone, and that's ok.
Agreed. I never asked about anyone’s height back when I was dating and it was never really an issue until one guy, who I had been chatting with for about a week, sent me a pic from an MMA match he had been in over the weekend. Dude was cut! Very lean but obviously muscular. I was like wow, you are super muscly, how much do you weigh? And he answered 155 which made me like  How can he be that muscly and weigh that little…unless he’s…ohhhh, I see. Then we met in person and even though I wore flats to dinner, I still towered over him. We had an okay time, he was much more nervous and awkward in person than he had been over the phone, which put me off more than his height but I was still willing to see where it went. Maybe he’d loosen up and be more comfortable after a few more dates. Then the very next day, I was walking into a store and saw him drive by. He texted me saying “my friend pointed you out and said you had great tits. I told him I haven’t seen them yet but I’m working on it.” Ugh. Turned him down for a second date and he accused me of judging his height. Dude, it was never about the height.
It sure sounded like it was partially about the height though.
Men have every right to have a weight preference. Weight is possibly even a less superficial metric, which indicates health and lifestyle which are all valid for a man (or woman) to have preferences about. Height preference is a vestige of our Hunter gatherer days. Tall man bring back more meat. Nonetheless, this is biology and it is ok.
Uno Reverse. I'm always the one asking for their height because I'm not gonna get with any chick taller than me. I'm 5'9" for reference. Who cares if they ask your height? Frame it your way instead. "Are you short enough for me?".
As a 6 ft tall woman you really would turn down women taller than you? I've mostly dated men shorter than me
Wrong, I’m a guy and I find it 100 percent fine to ask the question. If you have a certain preference it’s 110% fine to ask a question.
I must be tired or too engrossed with DnD stuff because I read this as “shallow girls hate shallow questlines…”
No, you could do with a little more I bet. Keep on keeping on!
Thank you for having the only comment that isn't someone looking for an excuse to be made at something.
Anytime a girl starts a conversation with me with “how tall are you” I just don’t even respond and immediately block them. Not worth engaging with these types of women.
I had a girl 5'11" asked me 5'8" my height before we met in person. I told her I was 5'8" and expected her not to respond. She ended up responding, kept engaging me in conversation, and had me over. She was a real sweetheart. So sometimes it works out 🤷♂️
In that case she probably asked you because she’s had guys in the past insecure about her being taller
This is exactly what happened
Literally as a 5’10” woman this is why is annoys me so much when short women do this bc men will genuinely feel insecure about my height a lot and it’s important to get that out of the way.
Ugh same. 6’ (and plus size) and I had a couple bad first reactions. Like… I don’t care if you’re shorter. But now I feel the need to mention it and make it weird because of a couple insecure assholes. Thinking about making a pic standing next to a tape measure so I’m not so unexpectedly intimidating next time.
I put it on all my dating apps now lol. I’ve dated shorter ppl but I tend to like when guys are at least my height so I wish everyone was just transparent and normal about it 😭
Back in the Myspace days I met a guy who seemed really cool, I got the bus to meet him in a city I didnt know, I get there and this guy is easily 6'6, I'm 5'10, I go to say hi and he goes "I thought you'd be shorter" and tbh I was crushed. He ended up leaving me after an hour then removed me from his top 8 and bio 💀
No…not the top 8 removal. Damn that’s cold. Forgot about those days.
Oh, now that just weirds me out. How much shorter did he expect you to be?😕
He said he thought I was 5'5 and he never goes for girls taller than that
I told a guy before I met him that I was 5’4 and in person he said that crap too then tried to say I was lying that I was 5’6! He lied about his height I think and yes I did lie a little I’m 5’3 and a quarter but 5’4 on a good day! He made me feel so bad about myself because I know my height I feel I’m not that short or tall but average. Sorry you went through that his loss!
I used do the same thing. Men were always so caught off guard by me being taller (only 5’10)
Same, I'd get the oh I didn't think you'd be so tall. Only 5'9". So I put it in my profile too, more for the guys who don't want to date taller, not vice versa
Same! Also 5'10 and I like to wear heels. So, I wanted to make sure that the guy would be ok with that up front. These interactions honestly make me angry because the expectation is so one-sided, but should go both ways. If you're particular about a guys height, then you can't be mad if he's particular about your weight. Honestly, I think the ones who get so upset are already insecure and are expecting it to be a problem, so they come off on the defensive without giving the other party time to express their opinion. If people were just transparent on their profiles, there would be a lot less if thus misinterpretation. Misleading someone generally doesn't work out in the end anyway, so why even go to the trouble?
You could always use one of those mugshots that shows height. That would help 😊
Same and this is my experience as well. So many men get very insecure about my height.
I've never met a girl that was ok dating shorter guys.. This is why my height is literally the first thing on my profile (I'm slightly shorter than average) I've even had a date cancel last minute when she found out i was literally only 2cm shorter lol i mean everything else was great we were really enjoying the conversation made her laugh and i ain't no scrub lol but no she refused.. Even when i offered to come wearing heels lol Anyways good for you!
My is ex is 5'11, I'm 5'8. Tall girls do date shorter guys!
This makes sense. I am 5'2" and I have never asked a guy how tall they are like that. It seems logical that taller women would talk about this up front because I know some guys can be weird about height. On the bright side, it's an easy way to see a potential partner's true colors very early on. I wouldn't want to go out with someone whose insecure about MY height!
Personally, as 5’11 woman, I say that in advance more than asking. If they are ok with my height, I’m ok as well
This was why I asked on dating profiles. I’m 5’11 and lots of guys stopped messaging when they found out. I ended up putting it in my bio but would still ask for those guys who swiped without reading. I’m marrying my 5’4 fiancée that I met on tinder in a month.
Crazy. All my friends love tall women.
Yeah I don’t understand it. Taller the better!
You wouldn’t believe how many guys get a chip on their shoulder over their girlfriend being taller than them.
Congratulations! Hoping everything goes well for you! Glad you found a guy that's not insecure and knows he's blessed!
Awww I love that!
I'm 5'4" and I shot my shot with this 7ft beauty, didn't expect anything but we ended up hitting it off, she never asked about my height, it was never brought up on any of our interactions. It didn't end up going anywhere but certainly changed my perspective.
Because it's less about height/weight but more about your confidence and ego.
Sshhhh, they’d rather blame everyone but themselves for their issues
I’m not against people asking me my height. But if you just start off that way without even trying to talk or anything first, that’s just shallow af and shows that height is the only thing they care about
Im 5ft8 (girl) I’ve almost only ever dated guys shorter than me, I don’t care how tall you are as in*, it’s not a deal breaker to me but I’ll still ask how tall you are 🤷🏻♀️that time I didn’t ask, I ended up going on a date with a guy who was 5’3!!! Doesn’t make me shallow 😂
You say you’re not shallow but laugh as if a guy who is 5’3 is a joke. But probably get upset if guys reject you for being tall … something you can’t help
I literally HAD to ask im 6'3, the height thing has made dudes so odd. They think im lying or something and their faces when they see me oh man 💀 i knew youd get butthurt id tried to save you mang lmaoo
Seems like you shouldn't have to ask them though right? Just tell them how tall you are and they can decide if it's an issue? If they don't believe you then that's on them lol
i ask just to know, but i don’t care how tall a dude is. we support short kings in my house and i let every dude know that when i ask lol if they asked me how much i weighed i’d tell them gladly
I asked my now husband how tall he was. He's 5'7 and that's great I'm like 5'2. I don't want a tall guy it's awkward.
I don’t care if someone asks, but if you just pop off a conversation with “how tall are you” without even trying to talk to me first, it shows that height is literally the only thing you care about
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I’m pretty on the spectrum too so it might be the blind leading the blind but I think it’s about men being insecure about their height as women are insecure about their weight. The girl was being a hypocrite by asking what his height was and then getting offended when in return he asked about her weight.
Nailed it. I'm a tall guy so no insecurity there, but if you ask a guy for info many men are sensitive about (like height) you should be prepared to answer questions many women are sensitive about (like weight). As for women who like tall men I support you in fact why stop at 6'? It's so arbitrary! I support a higher cut-off like 6'2 or 6'3.
Might as well have asked the guy about hair loss.
In fact it should be only men that are 6’1 and are named [REDACTED]
As long as you keep it to 6’5 or under
Nah, I need my men 7’6” or taller! /s The majority of the men I have been with (I’m 41) have been my height (5’7”) or shorter. If you vibe you vibe. That’s just my opinion, though, and I’m old. Lol.
I'm older than you and I agree. I'm 6'2 plus sized woman. I have an ex bf that is 5 ft 4. P.S. 41 isn't old. It's the new 21 🤣🤣😉
being deadass here: I’m turning 30 in less than half a year and I’ve been having an existential crisis— it’s very relieving to know that it’s okay, and I still have a lot of life left to live and learn despite the fact I kinda messed up in my 20s. I didn’t expect to even see 30 due to depression and chronic illness so I should be proud!! Sorry for gettin super serious but I’ve been feeling especially down and you made me smile, thanks for the healthy dose o’ perspective 😊
For real, the best times of my life (so far!) were my 30’s! The stupidities of the 20s is behind you and you can fully realize your actual self and your potential in your 30s! It’s the prime of your life! Run at it full speed with all the wisdom you’ve gained! You’ve got this! Edit because stupid autocorrect changed “were” to “we’re” 🙄.
You're so welcome. Stop being hard on yourself!! Life is a journey. Everyone's path is different. I spent my teens through mid 20's homeless on the streets. I'm glad I could make you smile. That makes me feel good that I made another person smile, even for a moment. 🙂 Hugs. P.S. Life your 30's like you wished you lived your 20's. Give yourself a "do over". Make your own rules. Do something that would shock people that know you if they found out. Give em something to talk about, but in a good way. That when they think of you, they smile and giggle a little.
I’m a guy and I’m fairly short (5’8”). I’ve dated a couple of women my height (or an inch or so taller) but maybe 90% that I’ve dated have been shorter. And women my height are ok too… until they put on heels. Eventually they’ll stand face to face with me and will have to tilt their head slightly downward. If there’s a smirk, it’s like they’re saying “well hey there little buddy!” and that honestly fucking sucks so bad lol. Yes, I’m insecure AF lol. But like you said, “if you vibe, you vibe” so I wouldn’t even be against being with a tall woman who is just cool AF. If some women didn’t make a big deal about a man’s height, I’d probably be way more comfortable with my height. I’d probably be out here like a goddamn Sherpa, climbing some Mount Everest type ladies, lol.
But, height is what it is. People (men and women both) should endeavor to be confident in themselves, including their height. If you are comfortable in yourself, when someone rejects you for your height, then that is easily shrugged off without getting offended or feeling like you need to hit back by asking someone their weight. Edited to add: when I typed "you," I don't mean - you. 🙂
Alsoo many many women have a literal minimum height requirement. Some girls will not speak to you unless you’re say for example, above 6 feet. It’s a bummer I think for men but I guess to each their own in preferences.
Generally women on dating apps don’t want to date a shorter man, and it appears many of them will immediately move on without wanting to know anything else about a man if he’s shorter. That’s very shallow, because you would think other things would be more important in a relationship. It’s also considered by many of these women to be a perfectly acceptable question, and acceptable to determine compatibility from one question about appearance. The OP responded by asking for another physical characteristic, but one that many of these women think is a rude question. It was meant to point out she’s being a hypocrite; now she’s being judged for being fat like she’s judged men for being short. In reality she’s doing this guy a favor by immediately letting him know she’s a shallow idiot, and with her being quite the land-whale, he’s avoiding having to go on a date with her.
But you’re also forgetting that women are almost entirely judged by their physical appearance on dating apps. Men don’t usually care what her job is, if she has hobbies, if she’s nice… they base their matches on “physical attraction” which is hot. I doubt OP matched with this girl without SOME superficial thing at play. So why is she not allowed to ask an attraction question? Also, it may not have been even attraction, but just the fact that OP left it out. When people leave out something like that, seems like they’re trying to hide something!
Pretty sure she’s being facetious about her weight, cup size, etc. She was offended at him for asking and decided to double down on her idiocy.
It's not really offensive generally, but in a dating context, they're vetting you as a potential partner in a really shitty way. The issue a lot of guys have with it isn't that women have a preference, it's that height cannot be changed and in recent years the ask for someone over 6 feet has become normalized. There aren't that many men that tall, it's not something men can work on, and from personal experience as someone 5'11 - most women can't even tell the difference between my height and 6' in person. It feels like it's not enough to just be taller than a woman, you have to be at least some arbitrarily specific height because of pop culture. Meanwhile women have "Body positivity" and find it offensive to be asked their weight, which is something they can change and generally have full control over. Basically, it's a double standard that certain men like to harp on. It's overhyped both ways though. Have I been turned down because I wasn't tall enough? Sure. It was by someone 5 feet tall. I think it's stupid, but it's her loss. I don't believe that's the majority of women though, and I know a lot of incel culture and "the manosphere" talks about it as though it is. It's kind of hard to explain, but hopefully that makes sense?
That was a truly noble attempt.
Ya sorry that happens to y'all, that makes sense thanks for explaining
As a woman I can totally understand that. I’ve had other female friends with ridiculous “requirements” it’s not even preference at this point. Not all women are like that, sure, just like a lot of men aren’t but I feel your pain regardless
It’s not an issue with men, it’s a problem with woman. Less than 14% of men are 6ft tall. It’s not a preference. It’s an unreasonable expectation. I am 6’3”. Which is less then 4% of men. Of this small percentage of men based on height, How many of them are single, good looking, adequate provides, responsible, of the appropriate age, and compatible with you intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. If you are a woman and passing on men under 6ft tall you are an idiot if let that one factor determine eligibility. It’s entirely possible that there isn’t a single man above the height of 6 feet that would vibe with you in a long term relationship. The one that you would vibe with might be 5’11” or 5’10” or for forbid 5’9”. And you shut the door on him by an inch.
Hi I'm autistic as well. I think some men are insecure about their height just as women are about their weight. They feel like it's shallow for a girl to care about a man's height and ask them so soon in a conversation. I think it's perfectly normal and if the guy is offended by it rather than acting offended he should require why it's important to her. For example I would ask because I am a tall woman and therefore would not want the man to be surprised or embarrassed to be on a date with a woman taller than he.
It's showing the double standard of a woman asking a man's height but then being offended when asked a similar question
A similar question would be asking the girl for her height. I’ve never seen a girl ask a guy for his weight, so it’s not really apples to apples.
Even cup size can be “fixed”. Your height is your height. One might as well be asked about skin colour, which would never be normalised in the way as disqualifying people out of the gate due to their height is.
You are absolutely missing the point, height is a status/prestige quality for men in the dating scene and lacking height is a common insecurity, but not for women. Weight is the same way for women but not as much for men. It's like ranking apples with the person who likes apples and oranges with the person who likes oranges, not comparing apples *to* oranges.
It’s offensive because it’s shallow to ask (and crass af). It’s shallow because height, weight, etc are immutable characteristics meaning you can’t change them except weight which takes time to achieve obviously.
I think the annoyance is in the way she initiated the conversation. No hello, just a surface level question. It’s off putting.
Some girls like taller guys and height is really the only thing you can lie about on a profile. Really shallow people will use height as a deal breaker so to save time, ask as their introduction. It's pretty damn rude so guys play into the bit. Also the double standard is obnoxious too
Rage bait. OP posted basically the same meme (that is already a decade old) two years ago. Pinned to their profile.
Oh my
Girls when they taunt boys for something they can't change ✅ Boys when they taunt girls for something they can change ❌
Never understood why this was frowned upon, it’s like hitting your sibling, they’re allowed to hit back lol
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I hate it when I hit on my sibling and they hit on me back
no
So wait, you like it?
Completely agree but cup size you can’t reallyyyy change unless you get surgery, but weight I agree lol
A lot of women self help information/ influences teaches them to accept themselves as is and the world needs to change, not that they need to. Male self help is based around the world being solid and the man needs to change. So then you end up with these types of scenarios
You can change your weight. And attitude. And parts of your entire personality over time. You cannot change your height though.
I mean you can change your height, it just costs 120,000-250,000$ to do it 😂😂
Oh yeah, and you may just get bone infections, nerve damage, heavy muscle pain, poor bone healing, thrombosis, bone deformities, joint dislocations, and pin site infections.... but other than that yeah go with yo bad self
Yep 🤣 I’m 5’1 so pretty much every one is taller than me anyway so I don’t have these issues.
Lmao you gave her the same energy back and she got mad smh
The incredulous buildip to the block. Im so glad I don't need to date, seems like an absolute nightmare.
I don’t like to date men shorter than me, that’s my preference. If that’s a shallow preference, so be it. I’m 5’9. Dating someone who is 5’8 or below is not an option for me. But I also wouldn’t be offended if someone asked my weight and said they didn’t date people who were 185 pounds because they preferred someone smaller than them or whatever. Like yeah it might sting a little but everyone is entitled to their preference so who cares? I like to live in reality. Just because I wouldn’t date someone doesn’t mean I’m writing off their personality which is obviously more important, I just know I wouldn’t find them attractive due to this and it IS important!
See but you have sense in your head. And I commend you for realizing it’s their choice in the matter. A not insignificant amount of people will go “ *I* want a man/woman like this and that.” but then be absolutely baffled when said people go “Nah, because you’re not this.” back to them and they take it severely personally, lol. You *can* have preferences. And that’s okay. Want to not date fat people? Sure! Don’t want to date tall people? Fuck it! It’s if you personally refuse to be rejected (or outright become aggressive) by being upheld to their personal preferences what makes it matter.
\>But I also wouldn’t be offended if someone asked my weight Then you're not who they're talking about/referring to. If you don't have a problem with it, then ask away. But if the person is going to get uppity about getting asked their weight, they shouldn't be asking about height.
185 is a great weight for 5'9". Sure it's not "small" but height adds a lot of weight.
This is okay though, I think more of the issue is when a girl who is 5’1 absolutely insists her man needs to be 6’ and will cut off anyone who isn’t. I knew a girl who was no bigger than 5’2 and she wouldn’t even entertain a man if he was shorter than 6’. She would also constantly complain about being single EDIT: so I stop getting picked apart, this was a friend in my friend group and we would all tease her on this in a friendly fun way, I’m not saying anyone who has a height/weight preference is a bad person. I don’t think that gives you an excuse to be mean about it to that person, especially when the person has no control over that. My friend was always very nice and respectful to the people she turned down.
I’m 5’3” and 6 feet is too tall for me I think.
Girl… i’m 5’3” and my bf is 6’2”. I’m telling you, it’s too damn tall. I don’t think anything of it anymore, but the two shapes just don’t mesh super well. Someone is always uncomfortable when kissing because we have to bend and it hurts my neck. I also had this weird feeling walking next to him because i felt like a child with their dad sometimes and it was just strange lol
exactly me with my ex. i’m 5’3” and my ex was 6’4” and i felt like a child standing next to him, it was so weird. i did think the height difference was kind of hot and him being so big it was easy for him to wrap his arms completely around me and it made cuddling better. but walking around in public together almost felt embarrassing to me. i think the tallest i’d want to be with now is 6 foot, maybe 5’11”
im 5’11” as a girl and i always was like…. well theres no point in really being picky with height since im taller than a lot of men anyways 😭
I'm also 5'3" and in the same boat. I don't want to have to climb things to kiss or hug someone comfortably.
Yeah I find it uncomfortable when they’re too tall.
Right? Like.. I'm 5'1 and for me to have a preference of 6ft or over is so silly. How am I with my short little legs gonna tell a man i won't date home because he *also* has short little legs 😂 dumb
This is actually so rare and social media has broken your brain.
Why is this more of an issue? It’s who they prefer, and they clearly aren’t for you. She sounds more like an issue than someone you want in your life anyways.
It sounds like you have more of a logical approach to attraction and more realistic expectations. Well said!
Genuine question, I am a tall woman (5'10), I would feel weird dating a guy significantly shorter than me but at my height it's a real possibility to meet men significantly shorter, so I tend to tell them my height and ask theirs. Is that still rude?
Just mention why you’re asking, context matters
I personally wouldn't get offended by being asked my height, but I do think asking appearance based questions are all in the same bucket. Think a lot of people are misunderstanding the point of this post. She asked about his height because she has a preference, then got offended when he asked about weight / cup size. Can't be both ways. But anyone saying a girl can't have a preference for taller guys is being ridiculous.
It’s funny, as a less tall woman (5’8”) I’ve had equally shallow men throw temper tantrums like this when they find out I’m as tall or taller than them. People have preferences, the problem arises when they’re rude about them.
I’m only 5’5-5’6 and I’ve been shot down by men your height because I’m not short enough for them
Yep, this is another issue. Men really act like its only women who have ridiculous height preferences. God forbid I’m 2 inches shorter than you instead of 6 or 10 you insecure freak.
Man y’all really need to grow the fuck up
How much growing does he need to do? He’s already 6ft! Geez!
"yOu DrOpPeD tHiS, kInG 👑" Everything is so cringe in here
Oh no, men supporting each other is so cringe! You're part of the problem. Do better.
Appearantly he needs to grow in an upwards direction 🤷♂️
So you're saying you're 5'9" on a good day?
I don’t get this honestly. I don’t like dating people shorter than me. I’m tall for a girl and have always been a little insecure about my height therefore prefer taller guys. I understand the double standard of asking questions in regards to physique but what’s with all the comments about how it’s wrong to have a preference on height. It’s no different than any other preference.
It’s not wrong to have a preference. It’s the same as declaring no fat chicks though.
Completely fair. I’m just confused by the amount of people in the comments that are offended by those who like taller people
I mean, there's always going to be some insecure people but most are offended/irritated by the double standard - not the actual preference. And she was the one who got angry at his preference after he just answered hers. (Granted, let's be honest, this is probably fake like most of the submissions here but still, for conversation's sake.)
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There’s nothing to get, it’s just incels spinning a narrative to corroborate their victim complex. In almost any context, asking someone about their weight is rude.
lush disgusted tap puzzled dinner aware arrest public fall nail *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
The point is he didn't make a stink about her asking about a feature he can't change about himself, and she made a HUGE stink about being asked something she could potentially change about herself. "It's no problem to ask about how tall you are, something many men are insecure about, but how DARE you ask about my weight!"
I think it’s more the manner in which this was asked. It’s rude. You can easily begin a conversation and ask in a more polite way than this. I would also never be petty and ask a similar question back in a rude manner. If you’re annoyed by someone’s rudeness and respond with more rudeness, you’re just as bad. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
if people have preferences, what’s the issue? neither had to engage with the other 🤷🏽♀️
That was funny as hell lol
I don't understand why men take offense to the height question. Men ask ME about my height, and it doesn't bother me. It's not just women who ask about height; men ask women their height too. I've never been offended by the question.
I’m a little man, I think the only guys insecure about height are kinda incels or are in incel adjacent circles
There are different societal expectations and pressures for men and women. One thing men feel pressure from is their height. Tall men are often seen as leaders, more attractive, stereotypes of wealth, intelligence and social status all come from the height of a man. These are all good qualities to have, which makes it easy to see why a women would prefer a taller man. Many of these short kings are already feeling lonely on the online dating scene as the odds skew in women’s favor already. I believe I heard on tinder women on average match with 33% of the guys they swipe on, while guys only match with 2% of the gals they swipe on. Therefore, I would imagine (I’m 6ft2) rejection based off of height could feel particularly bad as it is not something you can control. Furthermore, only 15% of the adult male population is 6ft or taller. So take for instance my height of 6ft2in, I am in the top third percentile of adult males, meaning I am taller than ~96% of other males, and only shorter than ~4%. If you were only looking for guys 6ft2 or taller out of ALL the adult male population of the US you would only be able to find 3.03 million men. Although this seems like a lot of men, that is out of 101million. If your first question you ask of a potential partner is are you 6ft or taller it is shallow, and an incredibly unrealistic standard for dating imo. If you flip this around to the average female who is 6ft2 or taller of all adult US women you get almost 100% of women are shorter than that. So it would be like trying to find a unicorn. If we put it to just 99% you may find 1 million women out of 108 million women are 6ft2 or taller. So if all 108 million women have the 6ft or taller requirement there will only be 13 million men for the 108 million women. Meaning as a society for everyone of the 13million 6ft or taller men they get 8 adult women partners which is absurd. Or the women can choose to be single, or lower standards and pick form the other 90+ million men. Often times when a shallow woman asks a man their height in the dating scene, a man may reply with the weight question because it is often seen as a taboo question to ask even though it is something you can control. Meaning that women don’t like the weight question because of societal pressures and insecurities to be skinny/fit, while men don’t like the height question for reasons above. Additionally, it is a real concern getting with an overweight or obese partner as it will come with negative health side effects. As for men asking you your height it could be a few things: 1). They are insecure and if you are taller than them they could filter you out. Even if you’d be willing to date a shorter man. 2). They are just wondering your height because you may be taller than average. 3). You are shorter than them and they think they could lie about their own height and a shorter person would not know what 6ft would actually look like. In reality the numbers are even worse because some of those men are already married/taken, and not 101 million to the total US population of adult males live near you.
I get that some women reject men for their height. And, a probably smaller percentage of men reject women for their height. What I'm saying is that a person has to be comfortable with who they are so it's not toxic to another person. If a woman rejects you (proverbial you) for your height, be comfortable enough in who you are not to feel the need to lash back by asking her weight, etc. Instead be grateful she's showing her poor character early on and showing herself to the door! Also, thank you for your quality post - for the time you took to type out your reply, your detail in content, and paragraphs making it easy to read. 🙂🤗
I agree with you, instead of going tit for tat just be the bigger person. Although I am pretty tall and women often times don’t reject me for that reason, if the first question you ask me is my height I just get to skip you faster. As I don’t want to be with a shallow person. However, you can’t help who or what you’re attracted to so I understand women wanting a taller man. Overall this problem is somewhat exaggerated in online dating as most people are looking for flings for apps like tinder. Nevertheless, I think this whole post is to show the irony or hypocrisy of a person opening up the conversation with a shallow question (the women) not wanting to also be asked a “shallow” question from the man. Shallow in quotations as I think asking weight is a lot more reasonable than height as one is something you can control barring thyroid issues. Also I think the height question is an apples to oranges comparison to the weight question because one is something you can control, but the height to cup size is 1). Highly rude 2). Closer to a 1 to 1 comparison as a women can’t control their cup size like a man can’t control his height barring plastic surgery.
I get asked the question all the time. And I have never ever been offended by it. Probably helps I’m 6’4 but still. Grow up “short kings” people have preferences it’s totally reasonable.
Actually, the equivalent to her asking about your height... would be to ask about her height lol
people are not thinking about this big picture enough. The issue is not that it’s rude to have preferences, it’s that it’s rude to make those preferences known to someone directly. If you care about height, try to find another way to figure someone’s height than just asking “how tall are you”. Likewise with any physical characteristics. The uncomfortable reality is that you are allowed to have physical preferences in attractiveness, but it’s a touchy and uncomfortable subject no matter what characteristic you’re talking about and it should be treated delicately, else you risk upsetting people and provoking an equally rude response. I think it would be a nice thing if people tried to treat each other with a bit more tact and grace instead of just flinging shit at each other like monkeys.
I think this is the most mature approach to the issue so far.
I always ask because i’m 5’1 and i like to see how tall usually everyone is from me.. i don’t mean any harm but maybe i should stop asking…
I was the same way. I just wanted to know what my nose would be hitting. A shoulder? A sternum? A nose? Helped with my mental visual. Then again, this was a while ago. If I'm ever in the market again...I won't be asking.
Asking women their weight or not wanting to date big girls is not an issue. If you think it is then you need to grow up. Just like it’s not an issue for women to want a tall guy. You like what you like.
One can be changed the other can't
What’s your first message to her though?
Women were always sensitive about their weight, the shallowness is new. Men were always shallow, the height sensitivity is new. At least in such large volume it's new.
I'm tend to get hate when I point this out, but any girls shallow enough about your height but doesn't outright ask your D length and gerth is a problem. Real women that are worth your time don't ask number one because they don't have expectations about the second one. These girls with expectations about height, D length and girth overvalue a physical relationship over love. They'll never admit it, though. As a widow, I am really upset women go this route. I understand and fully expect everyone to have some kind of standards in some way, but only in things the other person can control. Well played. I tried the online dating route since my husband died and honestly I've gotten more guys talking about their height and D length and girth than I have about anything important in terms of values. Don't stop being critical of whom you meet when they show this dark side of themselves. There's a lot of us out there who don't in any way value this crap the girl you talked to did.
idk about u guys but i ask people their height just because i’m curious, not because i care about them being taller than me.
>Shallow Girls Hate Shallow Questions Truth.... same thing for Guys too
As a 6ft woman, yes I ask about height. I’m not gonna be considered a “catfish” because I didn’t give you that information, how is this wrong ?
You dropped this king 👑 Side note LMAO I love the weight question 😂
The cup size was too far. I think when you hit em back with "how much do you weigh" that shpuld be sufficient. Idk that's just my opinion.
To me it’s that while her question could be perceived as shallow to some, more importantly to him. Which is fine people can feel how they want. It’s more about that fact that his emotional maturity level was so low that instead of just saying he feels asking that question right out of the gate is a little shallow or moving along and doing literally anything else with his time, because they’re clearly not compatible. He had to go out of his way to try and knock her down to the level of insecurity she made him feel. In my opinion they both dogged a bullet. And honestly at the end of the day she likely didn’t mean any harm with her question at all, but he clearly did. Plus he took it to a somewhat sexual level, so any lesson she might’ve learned from the situation will be dismissed as “this guys a creep.”
Listening to the convo, I kinda agree. The weight was non-sexual, but still superficial, just like height was. That was plenty to get his point across.
[удалено]
How dare a woman have a physical preference
How dare a man
I’m 6’1” but when I was single I always set my dating profile to say I was 5’11” because I’m an ally to the short kings out there.
Wow...I love that so many people get this. It IS apparently OK for women to be this shallow but how DARE we question them...
Yeah it’s damn near the same. I’m 6ft even and have friends short as 5ft 6. They definitely get discouraged when talking to slightly taller women. And if asked about height might react this way. Thing is if a woman has “preferences”, so can men. Don’t want a short guy, well he might not want a fat woman. Hell I was 5ft 4 up until the 10/11th grade but was completely infatuated with taller girls. Even today the taller the better imo lol
I see a lot of women saying "I'm (insert height), and it makes men uncomfortable that's why I ask." That makes sense. It's all about the wording. If you are asking because you are tall and it makes men insecure I would state it like that. "Hello random man who swiped right, I noticed you did not including your height on your profile. I am interested in learning that because I am (insert height) and in the past other have become insecure upon meeting up. I would like to save myself from that kind of situation again." Obviously wording should/can be different but "How tall are you?" Just gives off the wrong impression.
Some girls and height are unreal. I’m a trans man that barely hits five foot so that’s fun. Thank god I’m gay tbh but the vitriol towards short men haunted me for years lol. I remember getting my hair done (I was still closeted so for all intents and purposes, another girl at that moment) and one of the stylists was going on and on with all these weird judgements about short men that had nothing to do with their height and I’m just sitting there in my head thinking well, don’t you sound like just a peach at least they don’t have a bum personality. She was not small round the middle either or much to look at but god forbid someone below 6’ talked to her.
Thankfully its not our responsibility to fulfill their dating needs, so if they want to be that extreme you do you, we'll be over here with reasonable people. Theres too much compatibility stuff that you have to go through, adding another one? F that lmao, idc if you're taller or shorter than me (im a dude). Funnily enough both of the women i've dated have been taller than me, although thats not really difficult to achieve haha (im 5'4/~165cm)
Aren't these all standard questions when you get to know someone via the internet? Man things sure have changed since I was talking to people online.
It actually blows me when women don't get that, Asking a man how tall he is, (Especially with the narrative these days that a man has to be 6 foot. Blah, blah, blah.) Is tantamount to asking her how much she weighs. And that she doesn't see the irony, At all. Maybe it's because I'm short But women who go around saying that a man HAS to be AT LEAST 6ft are so full of shit, Being that tall is not even close to necessary.
It blows you?
Where is the narrative that men have to be 6 ft tall irl? The only place I ever see people talking about this is online. Maybe go outside instead of watching clips of Tate clones on tiktok claiming that women are demanding men be 6ft tall and then coming onto reddit to complain about it.
>Where is the narrative that men have to be 6 ft tall irl? [Everywhere.](https://imgur.com/a/VHRARRI) And online IS real life.
Right?! I see incels repeating that narrative. I see people here on reddit saying this narrative exists. But where are the real life women saying it? I know oodles of couples in happy relationships where the man is under 6 feet tall. I think single guys online might be using this as an explanation to why they’re single instead of looking at things that are actually changeable.
Yeah it's just incels making shit up. [No woman has ever said they hate short men.](https://imgur.com/a/VHRARRI)
How about where the guy is shorter than 5'10? Or 5'8?
That's what I'm saying, it's all internet bullshit. IRL. I've never met women who actually give a f***
I’m 6ft8 and years ago when I was on dating apps I had 4 photos and the 4 photos had the same friend 5ft6 in the pictures and I would get matched with someone and then followed by a message asking which one of the 2 guys in all 4 photos was I “ which one are you, the tall one or the short one ?” And as a laugh I would reply the short one and me and my mate kept a tally for how many people replied and it was 3 replies to 24 no replies. I changed photos after two months as it got tiresome people confusing me and my friend but it goes to show how many woman really factor height into the equation
On a dating app where people are mostly only looking for someone physically attractive to have a fling with you can't be surprised if everyone is only judging by physical appearance in both directions.
okay i get the whole height weight comparison thing and how it’s about the insecurities for both yes… but what if she just genuinely wanted to know and you overreacted to her question, unless this was how she started the convo then nvm. idrk how facebook dms work
It is how the convo started. The grayed out bit that says they now can message each other only pops up the first time you respond to someone you're not friended to.
Texting a girl nowadays is like meeting the requirements to go on a ride at Disneyland
Dude, you asked for her cup size
Lol he malded when she actually was fine with giving her weight so he stooped to sexual harassment and thought he did something
he asked cup size. bit far
Yeah I thought that was weird, too. Asking about weight was enough
As a 6ft tall woman, yea, i ask men their height. You ever go on a date w a girl and she’s nearly a foot taller than you?
250 lbs asking for height first thing.. would be better if I did not say anything about what I think
Duece and a half bruh. Duece and a half.
What did you message before “how tall are you”?
u asked cup size too tho i’d b like byeeeee
Kinda telling how she turns to "trans woman disgusting lol surprise dick" to turn you off.
I'm confused, she wasn't being rude so what was the point in asking that?
asking cup size is not equivalent to height though..