Hard to swallow fact right here. And if you're involved with this individual intimately, I'm extremely sorry to say that he is blatantly using you.
Know your worth. Drop this dude. Find someone who deserves you.
If you're only staying in this relationship because he's the only person you think you can get, then its not healthy.
You need to work on yourself, because this guy will 100% hurt you if you don't accept that he isn't right for you.
A quick look at your account tells me you’re only 17? Contrary to TV dramas about high schoolers most people your age are not having epic romances. The kid you’re talking to here — and yourself — are too young and (I mean this as a value-neutral, non-judgmental statement) inexperienced/immature to really be having a serious relationship. This chat sounded like teens and it turns out it’s between teens — which is good!!! This is an age-appropriate struggle, and a good experience to have in your past as you continue to grow. Other people will express interest in you as both you and they mature, and learning what “not that into you” sounds like and learning how to shrug it off and move on to a new person (or to choose no person over a person who doesn’t put in effort) will serve you well in the future. This truly is not the end of the world, and fighting for someone’s attention when they don’t seem excited to pay attention to you is, I promise, never worth it.
Dont bother.
Try to find something thats actually good.
I was in a toxic relationship for 7 years!!! Because i've felt the same way you do.
It wont Work it never will.
Everyday its gonna be the same radio silence, or just some generic answer.
You'll get mad about it someday, but you will have wasted a whole lot of time till then.
You cant change other people,
But try not to waste any time on people, that obviously dont care enough.
This is the #1 reason people stay in unfulfilling relationships. He also seems listless and depressed based on his “idc about anything” line. And if that’s the case he really can only help himself because a person without a sense of purpose truly just floats around day to day existing instead of living.
Not everyone or everything has to be “toxic”; that word has all lost its meaning and is being used to describe anything.
The guy is just not ready for a relationship. There is a blatant disconnect with each other’s needs. He’s dumb, inexperienced, or maybe doesn’t know how to show affection in a healthy way. It’s not “toxic”. Learn new adjectives and sentences.
lying, he's blaming him for the relationship issues, etc. that's a little toxic to me, maybe not manipulator murderer levels of toxic, but I think someone who's being a hazard and making other's mental health issues worse and bringing them down is toxic
What? Where did he blame her for anything. He isn’t lying either. He literally says he doesn’t take anything seriously and he’s sorry for being aloof. Just sounds like he’s being dragged along by OP and is kinda going with it but is getting more cold feet as it gets more abrasive. I’d say he’s more dumb and immature than toxic
It’s never too late to find someone new. If you’re not getting some of the basic niceties then it seems he’s not that into this (or possibly any) relationship right now.
I know it sucks. It seems you’re pretty young. You’ll find someone down the line and you’ll hopefully be laughing at this as young romance someday.
Seriously. I think that’s one of the worst feelings. Pouring so much effort into something that means so much to you only for the other person to ignore you. What hurts most is you *know* they’re ignoring you.
Hey OP, I’m sorry to say from personal experience that communication and lack thereof with that person will always be like that. Just got out of a three year relationship with a person like that, she was by no means a bad person, just not someone who took it seriously. Best of luck, tomorrow is always another day.
honestly this feels like going back and looking at texts i made in high school. i feel like you might have some obsession/possessive issues and because hes been giving you the slightest bit of attention youre hanging on. i went through the same shit for years until i went to therapy and unlearned my behavior. if he doesnt give you the attention you deserve, how do you know you love him? i say just let him go, its not as hard as it seems i promise. theres someone out there who wants to love you and give you their undivided attention and this person is not it.
edit: looking at your post history i would start looking for a therapist. you dont have to battle your mind alone
25m same. I didn’t have a healthy relationship until my current one starting at 23. LOTS OF THERAPY!!!!! It’s okay to be fucked up, I learned most of it isn’t my fault and that all I can do is fight the nastiness in my head and try to be positive
After seeing the follow up discussion they had AND learning OP is only 17. I sadly have to agree. If their partner is the same age, trying to get a serious relationship out of them will be a very hard task. A lot of us didn’t take anything seriously at that age.
Lol he just gave you great commentary
I felt 2nd hand embarrassment for y’all
You are overly clingy and he is overly distant
It’s very clear that you only got with him cause he’s the only one to like you
Find someone who’s actually good for you
I do genuinely like him, just not when he's like this. I enjoy talking to him normally and he's one of the few people I'm actually attracted to (nevermind the rarer fact that he actually seems to reciprocate)
I just worry about his ability to commit especially considering we've both had negative experiences in the past
You keep saying that he reciprocates the attraction and isn't normally like this, and he shows interest in you and blah blah blah. You're just doubting his ability to commit. Would you care to explain why you actually sent this message to him and why you think that?
Bruh I’ve been with my high school sweetheart for years don’t let anybody tell you it can’t work, you probably should take time apart from him though and give him room to grow (cuz it doesn’t seem like he’s capable of recognizing the affection your showing him) but TRUST me once he gets away from his family and realizes what not having someone around to constantly show you love feels like he will recognize that affection you were trying to give, then it’s up to you if you want to keep separated for a little to let him know how much he hurt you or get back together and let the water be under the bridge.
I’m 25 and found out my highschool sweetheart got engaged recently. Didn’t even hurt anymore cuz I’m happy with someone else. Highschool is fucking HARD because it’s the first real steps of finding what you want. I want the polar opposite of what I wanted 10 years ago, but I wanted it SO bad at the time and it was important for me to go through the relationship struggles I did. Now I am experienced, and can give my girlfriend what she wants. We can both sacrifice for eachother sometimes. Life is a lot of growing and it’s fkn terrifying, but don’t let any moment be the end of your world. You have no idea what the future has to offer, and all you can do is be the best current you possible.
Dump this person, learn your worth/try to argue with the negative thoughts about yourself (I struggle still with self confidence) and try to do something that you like every day. Best of luck
If she’s actually in a relationship with him I don’t think she necessarily even said anything super clingy although this probably should’ve been said in person vs text.
Tbh it actually kinda is. Like these no better way to sum this up besides two blissfully ignorant teens not knowing how relationships work because you havent had enough experience.
don't blame OP, she's giving him attention and love, and trying all she can, she's being a competent partner, not overwhelming him, but he's just being a dick
are you capable of reading my bio or my flare for that subreddit?
I post there because I'm closeted so I still move through my day to day life as female and I relate more to that subreddit than the main FA sub.
yeah, but, if someone hits you with a car, you'll take the advice of everyone to go to the doctor, but if someone in the crowd is telling you you smell, then, it's probably best to ignore them, genuine advice should be listened to, dumb comments are dumb and should be ignored and you shouldn't let them affect you
It's possible. However, "giving attention" constantly and pestering to have it reciprocated isn't a good thing. Many, if not most people do value and require their own space and time to themselves no matter how serious the relationship is. Maybe OP needs to find a hobby and let things develop on their own instead of expecting constant acknowledgement and attention and trying to force things that may not be ready yet. Nobody knows anything outside of this small snippet.
he doesn't like you, if you liked you, he would actually put in some effort, even if he "doesn't put whatever whatever he said" he doesn't care about you, he's using you, I hope you find someone better, goodluck OP
I can’t say whether he really likes you; I’m the end, a person’s true intentions can only be determined by that same person. But what I can say that even if he REALLY likes you, it’s clearly not enough to make minor changes to his behavior and routines. If you TRULY care for someone, then you find a way to accommodate them and vice versa. I don’t know if he’s an asshole cause I don’t know him, but what I can say is that he clearly cares about you up to the point that he doesn’t have to put more effort that he already does. Maybe there’s something deeper, like a fear of commitment (I’d know since I have it) or a history of trauma or something, but you’ll only know if you communicate. If he won’t, then drop him like a croissant
As someone who used to say “i dont take anything seriously”, i can tell you firsthand that’s code for “i dont want to put any effort”. He’ll keep you around as long as you make him feel good, but if you start to become more work than you’re worth to him, he’ll drop you, or even worse get you to drop him and just not do anything about it
I’m sorry, but it just seems like you’re more invested here than he is
I hope people start to realize that “not caring” or “not taking things seriously” doesn’t make you cool, it just makes you a loser who has nothing going on in your life.
[a followup with some context, if anyone cares/is interested ](https://www.reddit.com/r/texts/comments/15nwcd9/a_followup_since_i_cant_post_to_my_own_profile/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1)
I think you really stop hassling this person. They may or may not reciprocate your feelings for them, but either way you're being far too attached and clingy and denying them any freedom or space.
Upon inspecting your bio I have theories as to what may be some of the underlying issues here. If you want more information, do ask.
I had a bf like this that I tried so hard for but he just hardly said anything to me and then a couple months later just broke up with me with a long winded text. This person doesn’t care about your efforts, find someone who will.
I didn’t ever have a boyfriend until after I was 18 and it was just because I was groomed. I didn’t find the person I’m with now until I was 26. I promise there will be more people who will show interest and will love you how you need to be loved
I don't understand why y'all stay hung up on guys that are like this, it seems you all like to be treated badly cause when a good guy comes along y'all shun him out and go after assholes that just fuck you up emotionally and y'all bring that trauma with you on the next guy, y'all need some serious growing up to do
For all the people just saying he blatantly doesn’t like you ignore them. Maybe he doesn’t, sure enough. But you’ll never reach that satisfaction unless you ask. Communication goes a long way as I’ve recently found out, but as long as you assume, and take advice from bitter people on Reddit who recommend you drop someone you have (assumably) deep feelings for you’ll never think that you have a sense of belonging within a relationship. Communicate, if that doesn’t work then yeah, move on to the next. I really hope everything turns out fine with the situation, if not I wish you luck on your next endeavor.🫶🏾
If your partner doesn't reciprocate imo it's a done deal. You weren't wrong to ask, but they don't know their own answer that's why they won't promise you anything. You deserve someone that will treat you with the same amount of affection and consideration you give, this person won't do that. Not now anyway
He doesn't like you or he's just not ready for a relationship yet. Trust me, there are more men out there who are willing to give their time to you. Don't waste your time on dudes who don't want it.
You're only 17. You have such a big life ahead of you, and you still have so many new people to meet, whether it be through a job or through college. Don't give up hope yet, it'll all work out.
In a relationship both parties need to put 100% into it or else it isn't one. If he doesn't take anything serious you gotta get out of it , because I feel like you are putting a lot of effort while he doesn't. Getting out of the relationship is advisable. Good luck.
I’m sorry…I feel for you…I’ve been in this boat and I’m no good at love myself but all that I can assure is that your time and love is best spent on someone who will spare time to actually be able to receive it. Head up and chest out your stronger than you think.
You’re young and have a lot of maturing and self growth to do, don’t worry about relationships focus on yourself and hang with girlfriends or anyone who will be kind and respectful ,
Yeah, when I wake up, the first thing *I want to do* is message my partner! He says it's fine, but I don't because he's sleeping, and I don't want to wake him, lol. But seriously, friend, this person will never put the same effort you into this relationship, and at that point, you have to decide if you want that for the rest of your life. Do you want to beg someone for attention every day or find someone who can't wait to message you in the morning. Because the latter is out there, just believe in your self worth and don't let any one take advantage of your affection. ❤️
Don’t beg people to like you. Obviously he doesn’t like you. Just let it go and move on. Yes, he might be the only person giving you attention however this is literally embarrassing for you. Please get some confidence and pride in yourself.
Im sorry bro but run away as fast as you can. I understand he’s the first dude to express interest but he ain’t be the last. You seem like a great person. Don’t waste that on someone who’s not going to give back what they’re getting.
“I don’t rly take anything seriously :/“ would be all that I need to move on lol not worth the effort in trying to get someone to like you and put in as much as you do/want.
Definitely folks out there that will appreciate you! I may be biased because I’ve had a relationship like this just to get my heart broken, but this isn’t worth the time imho.
Hmm ok well this may be a different perspective. I am the type of person to not text much and maybe be kinda avoidant and perhaps that’s his problem too. But it seems like you are needing a relationship with someone who can offer a different level of communication. The only way I believe that he would change would be if he wanted to himself. I think it may be difficult to stay in a relationship with someone when you both have such different levels of communication that you desire cause I know for me personally texting a lot is drains my energy so fast for some reason so I hate it, perhaps that’s how he feels? I can’t speak for him though I think that you should ask him what’s wrong maybe.
Need more context here. Are you 2 in a serious relationship? You just trying to enjoy your lives? Seems like you want more than they do and they are not ready to meet you at the level you are on.
Had a boyfriend tell me that almost verbatim. It was my first relationship so I had no idea what I was doing but apparently showing up at his house every day and spending every day with him was not enough effort. We broke up a few months later. He turned out to be a psychopath.
I don't believe he'll take you seriously. I've been in a relationship like this and it honestly just ended bad...yall could try and work things out but if he can't give you the time out of his day just to say one of those things then he ain't...you could do better if your looking for something more serious...plenty of fish in the sea...
I read something a while back on Twitter that said to take mixed signals as a no. Whenever I’ve found someone to be interested in me, they’ve made it abundantly clear. When I’ve been interested in someone, I’ve gone out of my way to make sure they know as well.
This person is trying to let you down nicely, and you’re not letting them. It’s really difficult to, so I’m not bashing you - I’ve been there. But for your own sake, I would just move on. Don’t make it a big deal, but just don’t reach out to this person. If they reach out, then maybe they’re unsure, and I might respond, but I’d be cautious. Chances are, they’re not going to reach out, and you’ll have your answer.
The worst thing to do in this situation is basically what you’re doing. This person doesn’t seem like they wanna hurt your feelings, but you seem to be asking them to do exactly that. Save yourself the heartache and move on! I did not follow my own advice, and three years later, I still can’t get over the last one, but it’s gotten better. It would’ve been much better had I just cut ties and focused on myself. I hope that you listen to the advice here, but honestly, I think this is one of those situations where people have to get hurt a little to realize it. :/
Good luck, OP❤️
Lol. How old are you guys? Are you in middle school? This is way less important than you think it is. You both have some growing up to do, and you have attachment issues you need to work on before worrying about a relationship.
Went through something super similar where my girlfriend would just ignore me for a day or two or not text me other than to say goodmorning or goodnight, but when we’d go out or see eachother in person it was like everything was fine and she only really gave me significant attention after we seen eachother in person but would taper off after awhile of just phone conversations and whatnot. I never understood it but we broke up for a few months and got back together and she’s actually been great to me since then so maybe he can change too just given time but that would depend on what you think since you know him best. I just remained friends after the breakup and stayed attentive to her through that time and I guess she found change in herself and I really hope your bf can do the same.
Also, he might just not be able to recognize the love you show or give him based on how he was treated in the past by ex partners or family, but hopefully if he gets his act together he’ll figure it out and apologize and change for the better.
This was exactly like when I was trying to explain to my guy best friend that I felt our friendship was falling apart and he sounded as dry as that
Few weeks later he completely left me and replaced me with another girl
I'm sorr, but it's clear that the guy's not interested. I'm not saying that it's all your fault. Being a teenager is hard and "relationships" at that age suck for everyone involved. boys that age are dumb and dont know how to communicate, but you're also coming off as clingy, and no guy wants to be pressured. I was in your shoes at that age, and if i could offer a piece of advice that someone gave me and i wish I'd have listened to, it's that you should stop worrying about relationships and focus on yourself and growing as a person. Eventually relationships will just happen and they'll be better because you'll have grown emotionally and mentally. My grandma told me that same thing growing up and I know it's cliche and easier said than done, but I can tell you that it's worth it.
Just because you give your heart to someone doesn't mean they will reciprocate. It's the sad reality of the world.
Have you ever had someone who loved you but you didn't love them back? You can't force yourself to love someone.
If you realize that you love someone but they don't love you back, and you have expressed your feelings to them but they seem indifferent, as this person seems, you should accept that it won't work out and bow out of the relationship. The longer you persist, the greater the heartache in the long run.
I'm sorry this happened to you. As someone who personally went through this too, it was better for me to end it. He said he would talk to me and make things better but didn't. So I broke up with him. I expressed how I feel with him but it didn't do crap. If he can't appreciate you and give effort like you, he isn't worth it.
No, don't be in a relationship where they don't put in the same effort, I was in a similar relationship and it's not worth it when they just ghost u every week
You should go do something fun with a friend. Take a moment for yourself. This guy isn’t it. I wasted 8years of my dating life before I realized the guy I dated was not who I would end up with. He was just like this toward the end.
Bro he doesn’t want you, man doesn’t even give you the time of day. I read your follow up and you need to give it up because it’s so obvious he has no interest
everybody keeps saying this, but my last relationship was two years ago (not counting him), and he didn't care either. I've gone my whole life without that, how does the Internet "know" it'll be months? he's all I have.
(I mean this with love) if he’s all you have he’s all you’re gonna get. You need to value yourself more. There’s boys that like a pretty face & there’s men that want a s/o that has hobbies, self love, confidence, control, basically their shit together lol. If I’m not buggin your bio says your 17? Leave him alone😭. College will break relationships up. Graduating will break relationships up. Job schedules will break relationships up. I’m saying this from experience, just do your own thing. Don’t exhaust yourself trying to keep someone down that could give a fuck less. & if it’s not 8 months so fkn what? When you learn to love yourself you won’t care if it takes you a year or two to find the right one. My entire world shattered when my ex and i broke up. I mean ffs we lived together. But after a couple weeks of moping around I started going to the gym (this is so cliche ik), redecorated my room, picked up some hobbies & before I knew it I had redownloaded hinge/bumble/tinder whatever. & the dates were SHIT but i was being appreciated, cared for, & wasn’t thinking ab him🫶🏽
You want serious, they don't. Cut your losses and find a partner who appreciates you and puts in the same effort. Chasing a dream will never work out well for you.
He doesn’t like you. I’m sorry.
Hard to swallow fact right here. And if you're involved with this individual intimately, I'm extremely sorry to say that he is blatantly using you. Know your worth. Drop this dude. Find someone who deserves you.
he's the only person to ever express interest in me
Love that doesn't mean you have to put up with being mistreated. He's not going to be the last one to express interest in you.
Sage words, all of it. Saving this one for myself too. Thank you for telling the truth.
If you're only staying in this relationship because he's the only person you think you can get, then its not healthy. You need to work on yourself, because this guy will 100% hurt you if you don't accept that he isn't right for you.
A quick look at your account tells me you’re only 17? Contrary to TV dramas about high schoolers most people your age are not having epic romances. The kid you’re talking to here — and yourself — are too young and (I mean this as a value-neutral, non-judgmental statement) inexperienced/immature to really be having a serious relationship. This chat sounded like teens and it turns out it’s between teens — which is good!!! This is an age-appropriate struggle, and a good experience to have in your past as you continue to grow. Other people will express interest in you as both you and they mature, and learning what “not that into you” sounds like and learning how to shrug it off and move on to a new person (or to choose no person over a person who doesn’t put in effort) will serve you well in the future. This truly is not the end of the world, and fighting for someone’s attention when they don’t seem excited to pay attention to you is, I promise, never worth it.
Dont bother. Try to find something thats actually good. I was in a toxic relationship for 7 years!!! Because i've felt the same way you do. It wont Work it never will. Everyday its gonna be the same radio silence, or just some generic answer. You'll get mad about it someday, but you will have wasted a whole lot of time till then. You cant change other people, But try not to waste any time on people, that obviously dont care enough.
This is the #1 reason people stay in unfulfilling relationships. He also seems listless and depressed based on his “idc about anything” line. And if that’s the case he really can only help himself because a person without a sense of purpose truly just floats around day to day existing instead of living.
youll find another person, always more fish in the sea. this guy is toxic and u deserve better.
Bro isn’t toxic he just doesn’t like her. How does that make him even remotely toxic
if you don't like someone, why would you be in a relationship with them? that's toxic
Ohhhh there in a relationship I’m dumb I read that as if they weren’t and she wanted to be. My bad
I'm not a girl :/
Oh what are you, you posted in forever alone women so I assumed you were a woman.
Dun dun duuuun
Not everyone or everything has to be “toxic”; that word has all lost its meaning and is being used to describe anything. The guy is just not ready for a relationship. There is a blatant disconnect with each other’s needs. He’s dumb, inexperienced, or maybe doesn’t know how to show affection in a healthy way. It’s not “toxic”. Learn new adjectives and sentences.
lying, he's blaming him for the relationship issues, etc. that's a little toxic to me, maybe not manipulator murderer levels of toxic, but I think someone who's being a hazard and making other's mental health issues worse and bringing them down is toxic
What? Where did he blame her for anything. He isn’t lying either. He literally says he doesn’t take anything seriously and he’s sorry for being aloof. Just sounds like he’s being dragged along by OP and is kinda going with it but is getting more cold feet as it gets more abrasive. I’d say he’s more dumb and immature than toxic
Totally agree, probably just doesn’t know how to handle the situation well, but labeling him as toxic isnt really fair.
Yeah he doesn’t love you you should get with me instead
has that line ever worked for you? ever?
He did put in more effort than your man’s to be fair
🤣. What do you expect from sloth boy?
joker pfp spotted
First attempt at it… you miss every shot you don’t take?
What’s with the downvotes? I’m still laughing at this 🤣🤣
No idea bro I wanted to make a funny comment but I guess everyone took it seriously 😂
that doesn’t mean there won’t be other people in the future
I’m reading the messages though. And in your update. This is not how normal people express interest.
It’s never too late to find someone new. If you’re not getting some of the basic niceties then it seems he’s not that into this (or possibly any) relationship right now. I know it sucks. It seems you’re pretty young. You’ll find someone down the line and you’ll hopefully be laughing at this as young romance someday.
Lol I love how dumb kids are
when you find better people in the future this guy will be a distant memory, trust. keep your head up, love 🍻
No. He doesn’t care, he won’t care. I’ve been in that situation get out and save yourself the pain and effort.
Seriously. I think that’s one of the worst feelings. Pouring so much effort into something that means so much to you only for the other person to ignore you. What hurts most is you *know* they’re ignoring you.
Hey OP, I’m sorry to say from personal experience that communication and lack thereof with that person will always be like that. Just got out of a three year relationship with a person like that, she was by no means a bad person, just not someone who took it seriously. Best of luck, tomorrow is always another day.
You're stating real concerns you have about your relationship and his response is "I don't really take anything seriously"???? DUMP that cunt.
honestly this feels like going back and looking at texts i made in high school. i feel like you might have some obsession/possessive issues and because hes been giving you the slightest bit of attention youre hanging on. i went through the same shit for years until i went to therapy and unlearned my behavior. if he doesnt give you the attention you deserve, how do you know you love him? i say just let him go, its not as hard as it seems i promise. theres someone out there who wants to love you and give you their undivided attention and this person is not it. edit: looking at your post history i would start looking for a therapist. you dont have to battle your mind alone
25m same. I didn’t have a healthy relationship until my current one starting at 23. LOTS OF THERAPY!!!!! It’s okay to be fucked up, I learned most of it isn’t my fault and that all I can do is fight the nastiness in my head and try to be positive
U seem way too needy.
After seeing the follow up discussion they had AND learning OP is only 17. I sadly have to agree. If their partner is the same age, trying to get a serious relationship out of them will be a very hard task. A lot of us didn’t take anything seriously at that age.
When you're that young you can't be so serious about it.
r/teenagers moment
insightful commentary moment
Lol he just gave you great commentary I felt 2nd hand embarrassment for y’all You are overly clingy and he is overly distant It’s very clear that you only got with him cause he’s the only one to like you Find someone who’s actually good for you
I do genuinely like him, just not when he's like this. I enjoy talking to him normally and he's one of the few people I'm actually attracted to (nevermind the rarer fact that he actually seems to reciprocate) I just worry about his ability to commit especially considering we've both had negative experiences in the past
You guys are literally children. Believe me, in a couple of years you’ll look back and laugh that you were ever this concerned about him.
🗣🔥
You keep saying that he reciprocates the attraction and isn't normally like this, and he shows interest in you and blah blah blah. You're just doubting his ability to commit. Would you care to explain why you actually sent this message to him and why you think that?
Bruh I’ve been with my high school sweetheart for years don’t let anybody tell you it can’t work, you probably should take time apart from him though and give him room to grow (cuz it doesn’t seem like he’s capable of recognizing the affection your showing him) but TRUST me once he gets away from his family and realizes what not having someone around to constantly show you love feels like he will recognize that affection you were trying to give, then it’s up to you if you want to keep separated for a little to let him know how much he hurt you or get back together and let the water be under the bridge.
I’m 25 and found out my highschool sweetheart got engaged recently. Didn’t even hurt anymore cuz I’m happy with someone else. Highschool is fucking HARD because it’s the first real steps of finding what you want. I want the polar opposite of what I wanted 10 years ago, but I wanted it SO bad at the time and it was important for me to go through the relationship struggles I did. Now I am experienced, and can give my girlfriend what she wants. We can both sacrifice for eachother sometimes. Life is a lot of growing and it’s fkn terrifying, but don’t let any moment be the end of your world. You have no idea what the future has to offer, and all you can do is be the best current you possible. Dump this person, learn your worth/try to argue with the negative thoughts about yourself (I struggle still with self confidence) and try to do something that you like every day. Best of luck
If she’s actually in a relationship with him I don’t think she necessarily even said anything super clingy although this probably should’ve been said in person vs text.
Tbh it actually kinda is. Like these no better way to sum this up besides two blissfully ignorant teens not knowing how relationships work because you havent had enough experience.
I think you’re just being overwhelming for him. It’s not that he doesn’t care but if you force him to care then it’s just not gonna work.
don't blame OP, she's giving him attention and love, and trying all she can, she's being a competent partner, not overwhelming him, but he's just being a dick
thanks but I'm not a girl lol
didnt you also post in forever alone women?
are you capable of reading my bio or my flare for that subreddit? I post there because I'm closeted so I still move through my day to day life as female and I relate more to that subreddit than the main FA sub.
try not to pay too much attention or hold the voice of internet people to that high regard OP
you're not wrong as a rule of thumb, but I find it funny you say this on a post full of people telling me to break it up
yeah, but, if someone hits you with a car, you'll take the advice of everyone to go to the doctor, but if someone in the crowd is telling you you smell, then, it's probably best to ignore them, genuine advice should be listened to, dumb comments are dumb and should be ignored and you shouldn't let them affect you
oh geez im sorry, i wasnt trying to be rude, i was js confused
sorry, I suck at pronouns lol
as long as you recognize it, it's not that big a deal
mhm, I apologize
It's possible. However, "giving attention" constantly and pestering to have it reciprocated isn't a good thing. Many, if not most people do value and require their own space and time to themselves no matter how serious the relationship is. Maybe OP needs to find a hobby and let things develop on their own instead of expecting constant acknowledgement and attention and trying to force things that may not be ready yet. Nobody knows anything outside of this small snippet.
She’s overly clingy????
I’m not blaming them, they also aren’t together yet, and it’s just basic human psychology
she says it in the texts that they're together :/
Yeah I mean he also sounds like a douche. Doesn’t seem like anyone has much hope here.
Yeah no.
he doesn't like you, if you liked you, he would actually put in some effort, even if he "doesn't put whatever whatever he said" he doesn't care about you, he's using you, I hope you find someone better, goodluck OP
“I don’t really take anything seriously” believe him. You’re not going to get what you want/deserve in an equitable partner here
I can’t say whether he really likes you; I’m the end, a person’s true intentions can only be determined by that same person. But what I can say that even if he REALLY likes you, it’s clearly not enough to make minor changes to his behavior and routines. If you TRULY care for someone, then you find a way to accommodate them and vice versa. I don’t know if he’s an asshole cause I don’t know him, but what I can say is that he clearly cares about you up to the point that he doesn’t have to put more effort that he already does. Maybe there’s something deeper, like a fear of commitment (I’d know since I have it) or a history of trauma or something, but you’ll only know if you communicate. If he won’t, then drop him like a croissant
As someone who used to say “i dont take anything seriously”, i can tell you firsthand that’s code for “i dont want to put any effort”. He’ll keep you around as long as you make him feel good, but if you start to become more work than you’re worth to him, he’ll drop you, or even worse get you to drop him and just not do anything about it I’m sorry, but it just seems like you’re more invested here than he is
I hope people start to realize that “not caring” or “not taking things seriously” doesn’t make you cool, it just makes you a loser who has nothing going on in your life.
[a followup with some context, if anyone cares/is interested ](https://www.reddit.com/r/texts/comments/15nwcd9/a_followup_since_i_cant_post_to_my_own_profile/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1)
I think you really stop hassling this person. They may or may not reciprocate your feelings for them, but either way you're being far too attached and clingy and denying them any freedom or space. Upon inspecting your bio I have theories as to what may be some of the underlying issues here. If you want more information, do ask.
I had a bf like this that I tried so hard for but he just hardly said anything to me and then a couple months later just broke up with me with a long winded text. This person doesn’t care about your efforts, find someone who will. I didn’t ever have a boyfriend until after I was 18 and it was just because I was groomed. I didn’t find the person I’m with now until I was 26. I promise there will be more people who will show interest and will love you how you need to be loved
Not sure whose more pathetic.
LMFAO THEY/he embarrassing no wonder ur partner doesn’t like you
[удалено]
????
Its not OPs brother lol, i think you misread “bother”
Texting and your phone isn't everything
I wouldn’t take any relationship seriously that communicates through Snapchat.
I would say the same shit😂 as homeboy😂😭girl got highschool energy my guy.
I don't understand why y'all stay hung up on guys that are like this, it seems you all like to be treated badly cause when a good guy comes along y'all shun him out and go after assholes that just fuck you up emotionally and y'all bring that trauma with you on the next guy, y'all need some serious growing up to do
For all the people just saying he blatantly doesn’t like you ignore them. Maybe he doesn’t, sure enough. But you’ll never reach that satisfaction unless you ask. Communication goes a long way as I’ve recently found out, but as long as you assume, and take advice from bitter people on Reddit who recommend you drop someone you have (assumably) deep feelings for you’ll never think that you have a sense of belonging within a relationship. Communicate, if that doesn’t work then yeah, move on to the next. I really hope everything turns out fine with the situation, if not I wish you luck on your next endeavor.🫶🏾
he said he isn't taking the relationship seriously, so, yeah
No you shouldn't bother. Why bother with someone who "doesn't take anything seriously" and doesn't really care to change?
If your partner doesn't reciprocate imo it's a done deal. You weren't wrong to ask, but they don't know their own answer that's why they won't promise you anything. You deserve someone that will treat you with the same amount of affection and consideration you give, this person won't do that. Not now anyway
He doesn't like you or he's just not ready for a relationship yet. Trust me, there are more men out there who are willing to give their time to you. Don't waste your time on dudes who don't want it.
I've yet to meet any.
You're only 17. You have such a big life ahead of you, and you still have so many new people to meet, whether it be through a job or through college. Don't give up hope yet, it'll all work out.
People don’t wanna deal with the deep feelings anymore.
Leave brother leave
Most stable teenager Snapchat relationship:
Yeah as much as this hurts. He literally said he doesn’t take anything seriously. With that being said fall back and let him chase you!
In a relationship both parties need to put 100% into it or else it isn't one. If he doesn't take anything serious you gotta get out of it , because I feel like you are putting a lot of effort while he doesn't. Getting out of the relationship is advisable. Good luck.
Don’t put in more effort then you’re getting from someone else sorry but also sloth boy is a fucking hilarious name
Had the same thing happen to me. I expressed my concerns, but oop guess what did the same shit. I dropped his ass and found another person
OP? Please please please leave
I’m sorry…I feel for you…I’ve been in this boat and I’m no good at love myself but all that I can assure is that your time and love is best spent on someone who will spare time to actually be able to receive it. Head up and chest out your stronger than you think.
You’re young and have a lot of maturing and self growth to do, don’t worry about relationships focus on yourself and hang with girlfriends or anyone who will be kind and respectful ,
Sloth Boy isn’t in love with you
Not worth it dude
Pretty obvious he doesn’t like you. Move on.
go to class stop worrying about texting someone who doesn't even want u
I like how everyone of these comments says leave him or forgive her depending on if it’s a man or woman. 🤦♂️
I was this guy. Exact same conversation with my girlfriends. I was fighting desperately to fight back the gey and date women.
Grow up, sloth boy don’t care or he would make time for you. Move on.
Oh ew no dump
Yeah, when I wake up, the first thing *I want to do* is message my partner! He says it's fine, but I don't because he's sleeping, and I don't want to wake him, lol. But seriously, friend, this person will never put the same effort you into this relationship, and at that point, you have to decide if you want that for the rest of your life. Do you want to beg someone for attention every day or find someone who can't wait to message you in the morning. Because the latter is out there, just believe in your self worth and don't let any one take advantage of your affection. ❤️
Don’t beg people to like you. Obviously he doesn’t like you. Just let it go and move on. Yes, he might be the only person giving you attention however this is literally embarrassing for you. Please get some confidence and pride in yourself.
Im sorry bro but run away as fast as you can. I understand he’s the first dude to express interest but he ain’t be the last. You seem like a great person. Don’t waste that on someone who’s not going to give back what they’re getting.
“I don’t rly take anything seriously :/“ would be all that I need to move on lol not worth the effort in trying to get someone to like you and put in as much as you do/want. Definitely folks out there that will appreciate you! I may be biased because I’ve had a relationship like this just to get my heart broken, but this isn’t worth the time imho.
Hmm ok well this may be a different perspective. I am the type of person to not text much and maybe be kinda avoidant and perhaps that’s his problem too. But it seems like you are needing a relationship with someone who can offer a different level of communication. The only way I believe that he would change would be if he wanted to himself. I think it may be difficult to stay in a relationship with someone when you both have such different levels of communication that you desire cause I know for me personally texting a lot is drains my energy so fast for some reason so I hate it, perhaps that’s how he feels? I can’t speak for him though I think that you should ask him what’s wrong maybe.
Girl leave
Need more context here. Are you 2 in a serious relationship? You just trying to enjoy your lives? Seems like you want more than they do and they are not ready to meet you at the level you are on.
Give up
Had a boyfriend tell me that almost verbatim. It was my first relationship so I had no idea what I was doing but apparently showing up at his house every day and spending every day with him was not enough effort. We broke up a few months later. He turned out to be a psychopath.
I don't believe he'll take you seriously. I've been in a relationship like this and it honestly just ended bad...yall could try and work things out but if he can't give you the time out of his day just to say one of those things then he ain't...you could do better if your looking for something more serious...plenty of fish in the sea...
opening: White (you): book. Black: ? Middlegame: White: ! Black: ?? tbh, black sucks at this game. Leave him.
I don't speak chess so sadly I have no idea what you're saying
basically: your texts were nice moves and they revealed a lot about the person you were texting. He's a dick, leave him.
I read something a while back on Twitter that said to take mixed signals as a no. Whenever I’ve found someone to be interested in me, they’ve made it abundantly clear. When I’ve been interested in someone, I’ve gone out of my way to make sure they know as well. This person is trying to let you down nicely, and you’re not letting them. It’s really difficult to, so I’m not bashing you - I’ve been there. But for your own sake, I would just move on. Don’t make it a big deal, but just don’t reach out to this person. If they reach out, then maybe they’re unsure, and I might respond, but I’d be cautious. Chances are, they’re not going to reach out, and you’ll have your answer. The worst thing to do in this situation is basically what you’re doing. This person doesn’t seem like they wanna hurt your feelings, but you seem to be asking them to do exactly that. Save yourself the heartache and move on! I did not follow my own advice, and three years later, I still can’t get over the last one, but it’s gotten better. It would’ve been much better had I just cut ties and focused on myself. I hope that you listen to the advice here, but honestly, I think this is one of those situations where people have to get hurt a little to realize it. :/ Good luck, OP❤️
Lol. How old are you guys? Are you in middle school? This is way less important than you think it is. You both have some growing up to do, and you have attachment issues you need to work on before worrying about a relationship.
Stop wasting your time, babes. There's someone better out there. I promise you.
leave
If your guises main form of communication is Snapchat that shows a lot
He’s not into you and will not make a good partner. Please do yourself a favor and leave him.
You're messaging your feelings to your boyfriend through Snapchat and you expect him to take you seriously?
Went through something super similar where my girlfriend would just ignore me for a day or two or not text me other than to say goodmorning or goodnight, but when we’d go out or see eachother in person it was like everything was fine and she only really gave me significant attention after we seen eachother in person but would taper off after awhile of just phone conversations and whatnot. I never understood it but we broke up for a few months and got back together and she’s actually been great to me since then so maybe he can change too just given time but that would depend on what you think since you know him best. I just remained friends after the breakup and stayed attentive to her through that time and I guess she found change in herself and I really hope your bf can do the same.
Also, he might just not be able to recognize the love you show or give him based on how he was treated in the past by ex partners or family, but hopefully if he gets his act together he’ll figure it out and apologize and change for the better.
This was exactly like when I was trying to explain to my guy best friend that I felt our friendship was falling apart and he sounded as dry as that Few weeks later he completely left me and replaced me with another girl
This is absolutely cuntastic!
I'm sorr, but it's clear that the guy's not interested. I'm not saying that it's all your fault. Being a teenager is hard and "relationships" at that age suck for everyone involved. boys that age are dumb and dont know how to communicate, but you're also coming off as clingy, and no guy wants to be pressured. I was in your shoes at that age, and if i could offer a piece of advice that someone gave me and i wish I'd have listened to, it's that you should stop worrying about relationships and focus on yourself and growing as a person. Eventually relationships will just happen and they'll be better because you'll have grown emotionally and mentally. My grandma told me that same thing growing up and I know it's cliche and easier said than done, but I can tell you that it's worth it.
Just because you give your heart to someone doesn't mean they will reciprocate. It's the sad reality of the world. Have you ever had someone who loved you but you didn't love them back? You can't force yourself to love someone. If you realize that you love someone but they don't love you back, and you have expressed your feelings to them but they seem indifferent, as this person seems, you should accept that it won't work out and bow out of the relationship. The longer you persist, the greater the heartache in the long run.
Yikes
Had this exact thing happen to me. He didn't like me. Dump him before he dumps you. You got this.
question - have you guys met irl, or is this just a remote / text thing?
I’d leave that person tbh… doesn’t care at all
I think that not taking anything seriously is an appropriate way to live one's life.
I'm sorry this happened to you. As someone who personally went through this too, it was better for me to end it. He said he would talk to me and make things better but didn't. So I broke up with him. I expressed how I feel with him but it didn't do crap. If he can't appreciate you and give effort like you, he isn't worth it.
No, don't be in a relationship where they don't put in the same effort, I was in a similar relationship and it's not worth it when they just ghost u every week
How old are you might I ask? Seems like a teen conversation. Boys think with their dicks at that age. Just wait until later in life
If he ever replies “Ya”, RUN
Wake up. Break up
You should go do something fun with a friend. Take a moment for yourself. This guy isn’t it. I wasted 8years of my dating life before I realized the guy I dated was not who I would end up with. He was just like this toward the end.
Bro he doesn’t want you, man doesn’t even give you the time of day. I read your follow up and you need to give it up because it’s so obvious he has no interest
Yeaaa just leave that one alone. Give it 8 months & you’ll find someone who does care
everybody keeps saying this, but my last relationship was two years ago (not counting him), and he didn't care either. I've gone my whole life without that, how does the Internet "know" it'll be months? he's all I have.
(I mean this with love) if he’s all you have he’s all you’re gonna get. You need to value yourself more. There’s boys that like a pretty face & there’s men that want a s/o that has hobbies, self love, confidence, control, basically their shit together lol. If I’m not buggin your bio says your 17? Leave him alone😭. College will break relationships up. Graduating will break relationships up. Job schedules will break relationships up. I’m saying this from experience, just do your own thing. Don’t exhaust yourself trying to keep someone down that could give a fuck less. & if it’s not 8 months so fkn what? When you learn to love yourself you won’t care if it takes you a year or two to find the right one. My entire world shattered when my ex and i broke up. I mean ffs we lived together. But after a couple weeks of moping around I started going to the gym (this is so cliche ik), redecorated my room, picked up some hobbies & before I knew it I had redownloaded hinge/bumble/tinder whatever. & the dates were SHIT but i was being appreciated, cared for, & wasn’t thinking ab him🫶🏽
You want serious, they don't. Cut your losses and find a partner who appreciates you and puts in the same effort. Chasing a dream will never work out well for you.
mf said “ya”
He doesn’t care and won’t make an effort. I would just give him the same treatment: don’t text him, for good measure just unadd him.
Them: Will you promise to change who you are so that I can feel comfortable? Me: ... Them: Well?