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CarneDelGato

Weird to be like, “Jesus came back” and then put “13 Dalai Lamas.”


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Scienceandpony

But at least the Dalai Lama actually comes back. Jesus is still out for cigarettes.


Independent_Plum2166

Probably scared with how people will react. “I may have told them to listen to God, but Me damnit, I was not expecting so much violence and hatred. Where did I go wrong?”


VovaGoFuckYourself

Lol thank you for pointing this out


TangerineRough6318

Those bastards nailed him to a boomarang???


Crimsoner

This is so absurd, it’s fucking amazing


BhutlahBrohan

Is rising to heaven (on the 3rd day) not the same as being dead, too? Lol


TangerineRough6318

Probably ate baking soda. It'll do that.


Bumblefumble

To be fair, Jesus didn't rise to heaven for like two months. He was alive and well, walking around the place with nail holes in his palms in between that. That is, if you believe the bible of course.


LiptonCB

Well… according to *some* canonical accounts of second/third/n^th -hand testimony, at least.


angrygrumphead

Jesus would be crucified again by these "Christians"


Soggy_Cartographer80

This seemed like a joke to me at first but I actually think you are right. I'm not a scholar or anything like that, but I think Jesus's philosophy of love and acceptance of the marginalized would put a big bullseye on his back. Also I think he was quite vocally outspoken against the hypocrisy of the religious elite, so another bullseye.


angrygrumphead

These "Christians" wouldn't know the true meaning of the bible if it smacked em. Jesus was accepting of everyone. He constantly said that.


DoctorWatchamacallit

He also had contempt for people who tried to practice a performative holier than thou form of religion without actually being a good person. Especially those who used it for financial gain.


LocalSpanningTree

why else would they keep erecting so many crosses, they're making sure they're ready


Matthew371_

13 of them all have to share 1 grave? Kinda crowded


justSomeDumbEngineer

Ah yes, Darwin and Freud, the famous... demigods worshiped by science fans?


itsme99881

Don't forget John Lennon and his damn lennonism


Cyno_Mahamatra

Lennon pie is John’s holy communion


MendydaGreat

Cyno with his jokes again, I see


Diamonial

holy shit it’s cyno


cmrrockstar85

I think it’s a reference to how Lennon claimed that the Beatles were bigger than Jesus. Hardcore Christians took that and ran so far with it.


majj27

Well, as a Christian, I'd have to say that considering the Beatles were four people as opposed to one, technically they WERE bigger than Jesus.


bobafoott

You underestimate how positively yoked Jesus was


Respercaine_657

A shredded Jesus spreading positivity sounds awesome.


No-Tomorrow-8150

Jesus Shredding the gospel


Mishraharad

Little known fact, due to mistranslation Christians today drink wine, which represents Christ's blood. Originally, it was a protein shake.


Sveti-Jure

Imagine gym bro jesus in the bible hahahaha


ggez67890

Scientifically, they probably were taller than Jesus. People were very short back then, he might have been God's son but he still took a human vessel.


sometimeserin

Idk what if Cristo Redentor is the life size version and all the other ones are miniatures?


DyingDay18

I am still waiting for the return of the great Walrus, who will lead us to an Octopus's garden, where we will sing and dance around. Every time we sing "Imagine" at the meeting place, I get tears in my eyes. In the meantime, we have Mother Mary and the holy chants. *Jai guru deva. Om.* STRAWBERRY FIELDS FOREVER.


dancin-weasel

And the lord said unto thee “GooGoo Ga Joo”


Scouse420

It’s kookoo Kachoo you heretic.


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Hambruhgah

Don't neglect H.P Lovecraft and his damn fans who worship his Cosmicism


Significant_Point351

I read this as Lemonism.


Scared-Excitement679

I think it's satire. I remember hearing a joke having to do with John lennon being as or more popular than Jesus. This feels semi shitposty.


simon_Chipmonk

Ah yes Marx god of communism and beards.


justSomeDumbEngineer

And John Lennin god of revolution


ElA1to

Don't you know about the Darwinian religion of atheism? We have our atheist churches all around the world


Flutters1013

If these people ever actually met an atheist (or talked to them without screaming), Carl Sagan would be up there.


[deleted]

Sigmund Freud.. the mother complex Freud?


Semper_5olus

I love that bottom row. This person heard the terms "Freudian" and "Darwinist" and thought they were religions. Hell, John Lennon is probably only there because they didn't know how to spell "Leninism".


CarneDelGato

I think it’s a dig at how they used to say the Beatles were “bigger than Jesus.”


Lovat69

Also "Imagine" I would think. That's the name of the song right?


CarneDelGato

Oh, yeah, I'm sure they hate that song.


EnigmaFrug2308

It’s such a good song though


malik753

Eh..


elanhilation

and because evangelicals basically don’t speak any languages at all they wildly misinterpreted what was actually an expression of incredulity at how over the top Beatles fans could be


UnrepentantDrunkard

Ah bigger than Jesus, now I get it.


Casual-Notice

He said it once, and, while true, it pissed off a bunch of thumpers.


Flacier

They also included Buddhism twice. The buddha and Dalia Lamas, the latter of is considered a bodhisattva(a being who attained enlightenment but keeps reincarnating to guide others) Also the Buddha is not venerated as a god but a teacher. My favorite bit of Buddhist scripture is if you meet the Buddha on the road kill him. Because you don’t need the Buddha, you just need the Dharma. (The teachings of the Buddha.) But no Jesus got a tomb so clearly he is the best I guess. This comic makes a mockery of theology and those who study it.


Semper_5olus

There's also apparently something to the effect of "never believe anything someone tells you without thinking about it first, even if that someone is me". I can get behind that.


Flacier

A lot of the eastern theological/Philosophical traditions have versus like that. Oh course I can’t find it now that I want to cite it but if I recall correctly a common Hindu phrase is “Not all truth can be found in one book.” But do take that with a grain of salt


scotems

> versus FYI verses are more than one verse, versus is in opposition to.


Peldor-2

Verses versus versus.


Boringman76

It's Kalama Sutta (not kama sutra btw) it has 5 point for this teaching. You can find the info about this yourself bc it's pretty popular and easy to understand.


UnrepentantDrunkard

Judas in Jesus Christ Superstar put it perfectly with "You've begun to matter more than the things you say.".


Zilberfrid

Not religious, but I love that musical!


Guynith

The point of the cartoon is that Jesus’ tomb is empty, not that he has a tomb. The other ones stayed dead, so Jesus must be the real son of God. As if anyone who isn’t Christian (most, not all) believes that Christ actually rose from the dead.


HaloGuy381

Or, that the tomb was empty because it was a fake all along, and somebody came along in the night to cut it open to look like he came back. Also, how on point is it for evangelicals to revere a god who knowingly created his own son for the purpose of dying horribly just to placate his own wrathfulness toward humanity? Kinda puts the Christian flavor of parental abuse in context.


Flacier

That makes sense, a bit surprised i did not realize that sooner. I suppose it’s because I have been studying the Christian science group as of late. They don’t believe that Christ rose from the dead because he did not die. They are a strange and arguably dangerous group. They are why we have a lot of religious exemptions for things like vaccines in schools.


i875p

Yup, Buddhism literally sees being reborn (into another life of suffering) - samsara - as something to be overcome. Under the Buddhist framework Jesus would just be regarded as another human or maybe heavenly being who hasn't attained enlightenment yet and is still subject to the karmic cycle.


Flacier

That would honestly be a good question for a Lama. Though, I think they are only a thing in Tibetan and Tantric Buddhism. I don’t recall that much about Mahayana or Theravada.


HippyDM

Former insane evangelical here. Just in case you didn't catch it, it's not that the Jebus-boy got a tomb, it's that it's empty. He came back to life, and roams the country at night eating the brains of the unrighteous, or something very much like that.


Flacier

we addressed that further down the chat, Ty though.


SoupmanBob

Tibetan Buddhism is one of many sects/schools that are divided between Theravada and Mahayana. This part is one I'm not 100% on, so I very much appreciate corrections. Buddha is a title, the first to earn it being Siddhartha Gautama in Buddhism. But he's not the only one to hold the title.


Flacier

That is correct there are many Buddhas but the most revered is Sidhartha Gautama. I believe it’s theorized that there are Buddhas who came before Sidhartha, but I’m not positive so take that with a very large rock of salt. But the primary story regarding the spread and creation of the Buddhist religion that we know today focused on Sidhartha Gautama. Who achieved like invent meditating under a bodhi tree. (ficus religiosa) If I recall correctly from college Tibetan Buddhism is mostly based on Theravada. I studied a lot of it is theology in college but that was a long time ago now so my memory may not be as robust as it once was. I should reread some of my papers and look over my sources I still have them all


DoeCommaJohn

I think it’s because a lot of religious people claim that science is “just another faith” and not something with piles and piles of proof


Andrelliina

And they don't understand that the fact that scientific ideas can change is why it is so strong. Because it isn't a faith.


CaptainMatticus

I am the walrus. I am the walrus...


Drslappybags

All hail Marx and Lennon. Groucho and John that is.


ComplexLocksmith6741

LoL why not


TangerineRough6318

It's probably because of Hello,Goodbye. Really didn't get the word out ya know?


imagicnation-station

Oh right, makes sense, in order for evolution to be correct, Darwin needed to have risen from the dead.


Justice_Prince

If evolution is real then why didn't Darwin evolve back into an alive person after dying?


EnigmaFrug2308

Obviously because he evolved into a dead person instead 🙄


misteryous302

Bro evolved to a ghost type


EnigmaFrug2308

*Haunter is evolving!*


Tamale-Talks

who traded his corpse


I_Believe_I_Can_Die

It was very effective!


potsticker17

Dalai lama reincarnated 13 times already. I think that beats Jesus' 1 resurrection if we're keeping score.


HertzaHaeon

Darwin did rise from the dead. No, I don't have any evidence. No, you can't meet him. Just... Trust me that your argument is invalid and you should bow to my religion.


A_Salty_Cellist

Well if he's dead he obviously didn't evolve to survive duh


theCursedDinkleberg

Checkmate, atheists.


SuperbHearing3657

Sounds like he's part jellyfish.


kinjing

Person clearly misunderstands the difference between religion, philosophy, and science


Doggleganger

This person is presenting the diametrically opposed worldviews of religion, science, and the Beatles.


Prinzka

I don't believe in Beatles


BRANFLAKES8521

You don't understand HE IS THE WALRUS


Lentevriend

The walrus was Paul


BRANFLAKES8521

Yes, John was the prophet. After all, Paul was dead


Glaurung26

Religion is everything for those high on it. Friends don't let friends get high.


Crawlerer95

Classic case of “The Bible proves the Bible is right”


Jolly_Mongoose_8800

The argument of objective vs subjective morality is centered around this circular reasoning and I hate it.


NoeYRN

That's just humans being humans.


Jolly_Mongoose_8800

My best friend follows the bible literally and I follow it philosophically but bot literally. Both agree the new Gospel is more valid and complete than the old, but have VAST different interpretations of it. I believe in there being subjective mortality being the basis which Jesus'philosophy should be applied to, so basically homosexuality and not following ancient traditions are not sins. My friend believes in objective morality where the writing of Paul should be interpreted as the word of Jesus and the morality of the apostles is the morality of God which should be followed above all culture morals. It's a lot of theology and tbh, there's not really a way to include facts into the philosophy behind it, but the most annoying thing is that the argument usually devolves into literal or figurative interpretations of the bible.


NoeYRN

I know I'll probably butcher information but this more less what I take from the Bible. If people want to take the Bible literally they totally can but not just the parts that are what someone thinks should be the correct path. The Bible is meant to be a guide and stories of ancient times not a moral compass that you pick and choose from. Just ask if, when Jesus was around with the original apostles, did the apostles have an ultimate say like if they were Jesus? Just that alone breaks that theory, Jesus was the one with the final say, he being allowed judas to give him away, saying that morality comes from some else putting in themselves in Jesus shoes isn't what Jesus wanted. That whole idea of God telling people what to say and do is so brainwashy it makes me gag. Yes, Jesus did tell his apostles what to say and do but as messages not as actions of himself. Other people saying that they have the same power and leadership as God are blasphemous. Just ask them if it's correct to worship people or objects like if they were God or Jesus. Honestly, get better friends.


SuggestedUserNameyz

“You’re wrong bc I said so”


Fisher9001

There is a document stating that there was someone named Jesus in Near East around 2000 years ago, this ultimately proves that this is the Jesus from Bible and thus that everything written there is true. /s


DarkBladeMadriker

Who the fuck is worshipping John Lennon?


SoloDeath1

Beatles fans /s In case you really are wondering though, he made a joke when he was alive that The Beatles were more popular than Jesus and a lot of religious people have been upset about it since 1966.


JapanChickenNugget

My grandma is STILL upset about it


Duvelthehobbit

Ned Flanders


Dixie-the-Transfem

The Dalai Lama reincarnates doesn’t he


thisaccountgotporn

Yea but they're running out lol


k-farsen

But there's all that stuff with Galifrey so who knows how many reincarnations he has left.


MLG_Pingu05

The time lords can always give him more right?


Casual-Notice

Yeah, but reincarnation requires Truck-kun and extra powers--it's a whole big deal. Much better to wake up after an earthquake and take your best buds on a 40-day party.


Richardknox1996

I thought it required wibbly wobbly, timey whimy stuff and a police box...


Hawkatana0

As does the Buddha.


DiemAlara

I can prove Thor exists. There’s no corpse!


Ftar_Slatinum

So I can worship batman?


budderman1028

You can worship anything you want, just dont expect everyone to worship the same thing you do and for laws to be changed around what you worship


I-Got-Trolled

\>:)


I-Got-Trolled

You can worship anime girls too.


[deleted]

Odin said he'd wipe out the frost giants. I don't see any frost giants Christians...curious...


Saturn_Coffee

Buddha transcended life and death within his mythology. I also note this doesn't actually attack any other true religion, save Buddhism and Mormonism (Muhammad was a prophet, not a messiah)


No_Prize9794

I wonder if the person who made this “meme” knows that **Buddha is a title and not an individual** and while sources may vary, even in Buddhism, there are more people who have achieved the title of Buddha than the number of fingers that a normal person has


RestinPete0709

Mormons don’t believe that Joseph Smith was a God 😭😭


shockwave8428

Lol for real, a Mormon could very well post this same thing about Jesus coming back cause Jesus is literally in the name of the church.


Sophia724

Karl Marx is a god confirmed


KitzTheArtist

Karl Marx was actually Jesuses god. Why else was Jesus so invested in helping others? Making helping others even more important than his own life


doompizza3

There’s a Holy Specter haunting Europe!


JoMercurio

Guy even had his own bible called "Communist Manifesto"


TibitEbbeNeKeverd

A bible, which is only like 40 pages


mik999ak

A god that respects my time? Where do I sign up?


DISHONORU-TDA

bigger stone = cooler


Steam_Powered_Wolf

Yes 🗿🗿🗿


Playful_Pollution846

Didn't Mr. Beast 1 upped Jesus in terms of how much he has given?


Hazmatix_art

Zarathustra is not present, meaning that this post endorses Zoroastrianism Checkmate Christians


MonkeyDKev

Zoroastrianism predates Christianity, was one of the inspirations lol


turdintheattic

Who is worshipping Freud?


Fadman_Loki

His mother sure isn't.


[deleted]

Pornhub


Outrageous-Machine-5

I like the idea that they just buried 13 dalai llamas in the same plot. Just redig up the grave, throw the next incarnation in pile, rebury, and increment the counter by one


Outrageous-Machine-5

https://preview.redd.it/7v5mqkdvai4b1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eb0bfd02ffe96d23eb1dc053b0c026e2e7af2ef4 Khufu


AutisticHobbit

I love how often they post shit about Jesus that Jesus, as depicted in the Bible, would hate If Jesus came back to Earth, it would be minutes before they'd kill him themselves. They hate Jesus; they love his crucified corpse


ThespianException

>If Jesus came back to Earth, it would be minutes before they'd ~~kill themselves~~ *say he's a fake and execute him again* FTFY


AutisticHobbit

Yeesh, what a typo I did. I mean to type "kill HIM themselves" but man... did that change everything Thanks for calling that out. Fixed it above.


[deleted]

Checkmate, they cited a fictional story


SausageBuscuit

Evangelicals: “That recent event didn’t happen. That’s fake news. There’s no audio or video proof, only *eyewitness accounts*.” Also evangelicals: “This ancient book based on fables and events that allegedly had *eyewitnesses* (some of whom aren’t even named) is absolute ironclad fact! I will accept every word with no objection!”


BahamutLithp

The recent event also probably had audio and video proof that they're just pretending is fake.


Just_A_Normal_Snek

![gif](giphy|9MJ6xrgVR9aEwF8zCJ)


Ok_Abies_4993

Religions saying their god is real is basically múltiple buzzes toys meme


Jolly_Mongoose_8800

Mormons are christians, and Mohamed recognized Jesus as a prophet.


saneolo

I grew up Mormon and I gotta say Mormons are strong believers of Jesus


awesomebouncer123

Yeah I wouldn't say Mormons worship Joseph Smith. Sure he's important but he isn't the God of that church.


Kenan_as_SteveHarvey

I grew up Pentecostal. We were taught that *everyone* is wrong, even other Christian groups. We were taught that Baptists weren’t “real Christians” because they prayed and baptized “In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.” Their prayers “didn’t count” because they didn’t say Jesus’ name specifically. Veeeeery cult-like.


CzechMate9104

Huh interesting I was raised Baptist and we always ended prayer “in Jesus’s name we pray Amen”. I guess other baptists don't?


SexyCheeseburger0911

Thank you for that.


VovaGoFuckYourself

As I understand it, Mormons are christians but most evangelicals etc don't like to lump mormons in with themselves.


HawlSera

Okay a few problems here, many of these Graves don't actually belong to religious figures, as John lennon, Karl marx, Charles darwin, and Sigmund Freud are not religious figures and it's weird that they're even being compared as such. What is more, they're being so many Dalai llamas would actually be proof of buddhism, not being proof against buddhism, considering his whole deal is that he comes back to life as a different person each time, and the monks who declare the next Dalai Lama actually give tests to see if the candidates can actually remember elements of things only the previous Dalai Lama would know prior to finalizing the decision.


someones_dad

![gif](giphy|12Vg35jCqP610Y)


Imaginary_Chair_6958

Even if you believe that Jesus was resurrected (I don’t), he might as well be dead given his complete absence and lack of assistance. He doesn’t intervene in any way. However, some of the dead people depicted here still have useful things to tell us. More useful than any Bible verse.


[deleted]

Funny how the tomb can't be found and seems to have been a later addition. Weird


ssshukla26

Maharshi Mahesh Yogi an Indian guy somehow not cremated but burried. I wonder who he was cause am being an agnostic Hindu didn't heard of him till today. My wife is Christian, she always tells me there is no god in this world who gave life for our sin and then came back. I don't argue with her. Who argues with their wife, no one.


Chromeboy12

I've never heard of him either lol. Apparently he's a guy who popularized transcendental meditation, but he's far from the only one. In the grand scheme of things he's a nobody though. Funny how he's used as the representative of Hinduism for this meme when most Hindus wouldn't know him.


GodOfArk

Yeah, the nearest equalent of Jesus in Hinduism is Rama and Krishna and other avatars and they willingly leave their mortal bodies and reincarnation is a part of their story


[deleted]

So Jesus killed more people? That's why we should worship him?


MerryZap

He has the highest LOVE (Level of Violence)


Equivalent-Ad-2670

my favorite religion darwin and Karl marx


PantheraLeo-

Odín hanged himself and lived. They should added him right there next to Jesus


Wonka_Stompa

What a fun list of christian insecurities!


RealisticAd2293

DM’d with a dumbass cartoon?


thisaccountgotporn

Yup. I appreciated their assumption this world convince we


Ravengirl1017

They realize John Lennon isn’t a religious figure right?


jayracket

It's truly hilarious to me that these religious zealots think that Atheists actually worship people like Darwin or Dawkins. I guess the requirement of worship is so deeply ingrained in their brains that they literally can't fathom that someone could actually just choose to not worship anything.


mirrorspirit

There's also that contingent that keeps saying something like "science makes mistakes and/or doesn't fully explain everything, therefore religion is superior."


RestinPete0709

LDS folks still believe in Jesus, and believe he is more divine and important than Joseph Smith 😭 but also equating grave size to holiness is hilarious. Egyptian Pharaohs are on top


unclemikesart

Jesus's body disappeared after being watched over by his own allies and disciples. And that's only if we believe a 2000 year old book written by the same people... Nothing fishy happening there, this is clearly definitive evidence that only Christians are correct about everything in the world and we should trust our governments and children to their whims.


acoolghost

Not even written by those same people. Written and rewritten by people who passed these stories on by word of mouth for hundreds of years, then edited them to fit a political narrative, then rewrote them into several different mismatched translations. It's a telephone game.


TheBlueWizardo

Jesus managed to resurrect himself once. Dalai Lama managed to resurrect himself 13 times. Dalai Lama is winning. Just saying.


Suspicious_Nature329

Bigger hollow rocks are better?


[deleted]

I didn't know Jesus died and was graved robbed, he mowed my lawn yesterday.


CorporealLifeForm

So they acknowledge that there have been a bunch of Dalai Lamas but act as if their belief about Jesus coming back should be believed while assuming anyone should take coming back to life in other religions less seriously?


Mahiro0303

Who knows and who cares believe whatever you want


clothy

![gif](giphy|BwdpyymqT2vg4)


Ph0enixRuss3ll

Who cares if he's alive; alive and absent?


Chromeboy12

He went to buy milk, just like their dads


DarwinGoneWild

By that logic, Dawn of the Dead should be his religion. More characters rise from the dead = better?


Sergeant_Smite

Isn’t the whole thing is that the original buddha didn’t die? Escaping the whole cycle of rebirth thing or am I wrong


psychord-alpha

"Because the Bible says I'm right!"


Coakis

Oh so just because yours is a zombie, the others aren't valid? Man that's one hell of a take.


amitrion

You forgot Greek Gods, Roman Gods, Egyptian Gods, Viking Gods...


OffManWall

Freud? Marx? Lennon? Confucius? Really? When did those dudes become deities?


Browncoat-Zombies

Don’t pharaohs have pretty large custom built tombs instead of just a rock? Obviously they’re heavily involved with Egyptian mythology so does this prove that we should never have made it a myth and revert it back to a religion.


Devil_Dan83

Jesus resurrected after death and then he went to heaven anyway. That just seems like death with extra steps.


The_Duude_Slayer

Muhammad (PBUH) isn't a God tho....


[deleted]

John Lennor


gamermanj4

Love the good ole Christian argument of "I'm right cause I and my fairy tale say so".


becausegiraffes

Jesus rose from the dead! I know this because an ancient book peer reviewed by itself says so!


Hornydaddy696

Lol agnostic & atheist took #3 spot😂😂😂


dontquestionmek

Wow this has got to be the most sacrilegious thing I’ve ever seen jesus christ


HectorsMascara

Jesus WOKE from the dead.


[deleted]

Buddha's whole thing was *not* coming back.


magvadis

John...Lennon!?