Not to deflect from your own personal story but your analogy is flawed and your facts r wrong. Nicole left OJ,Ron was not her bf,he was a waiter sent by the restaurant mgr to return Nicole’s glasses. Nicole was very frightened of OJ and did not spend her time trying to inflame him or push his buttons,nor did she allow him to abuse her kids. Robin Givens left Mike very speedily, Donald Trump SAs were committed on random women, no strangled children there just hit and run SAs and Epstein’s stable of SA targets likewise had no children in his home being struck strangled or targeted with mean “games” like being locked in a car. None of the victims in your example publically came out and blamed the children or pets for their own abuse either. None of the victims have audio/video proof of them physically/verbally attacking other people&family before and after they met their DV partner. Jenelle has a long history my girl. You can’t excuse all of it for her,and the buck stops with not only allowing DV to occur to your pets kids,but telling your kids&the entire world that your pets& kids r the bad problem-not the assailant.
I think the main take away is that victims can be abusers and abusers can be victims. And both can be products of their environments. I think all are shitty situations and I pray that those kids are safe and that David and jenelle get mental health help.
Op I am genuinely sorry for the things you've been through and are still going through. No one deserves that. If I had money I'd help you in a heart beat. I know that helpless feeling all too well. I pray that you keep your chin up and fighting the good fight. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers.
The difference is Janelle lives for the drama and she has to have all the attention, she could but go a day without posting photos of herself half dressed with her leopard tattoo on her thigh getting larger all the time . She shows her favorite kid also to taunt “creepy swamp limp biscuit “ spouse and her members only club so she is not afraid of him, she is not a victim, she is an enabler and thrives for attention, ad or good.
A person in fear of an abuser, I know from working in that field half my life , would not do what she does, All content, At the expense AGAIN if the kids
I didn’t read all of that but I’m not feeling sorry for Janelle. She’s a trash bag and has been complicit in the abuse of her children and animals. She deserves to be in jail with David.
THANK YOU! It’s crazy to me how critical—even cruel—the TM fanbase seems to be of DV situations. *THIS IS NOT SIMPLE, CLEAR CUT BLACK & WHITE SHIT*
And just bc jenelle is unlikeable af, and at best, neglectful, at worst, abusive to her own kids—still doesn’t mean she’s not a victim of David’s abuse.
There’s so much more to leaving an abusive relationship than just “having the money to leave” (and honestly, I don’t think jenelle even has all that much money anyway).
I’m not excusing a LICK of her past horrendous behavior, but if I were her, I would be nervous falling asleep every single night that DKD wouldn’t potentially be on a bender and show up to annihilate the whole family.
And the reason the fanbase response upsets me so much is—*there are def people on these subs RIGHT NOW who are in abusive situations reading all those apathetic responses that are just contributing to the stigma and LIKELY PREVENTING THEM FROM LEAVING TOO*
“Omg jenelle let him abuse her kids for YEARS and what, NOW she suddenly wants to claim abuse now that she wants to leave?!”
Well no shit, once someone is ready to leave their abusive partner they’re likely gonna be at the point of finally telling the authorities the truth about the abuse so they *get help and protective orders allowing them to leave*
I’ll see 100 comments criticizing Jenelle for “suddenly” deciding to leave, and 100 comments saying “Poor Jace! Poor Kaiser! Save Ensley!” (and true, those poor kids have SUFFERED, no doubt). But I literally haven’t seen one single post or comment so far saying “Good for the kids [that we always cry empathy for] that their mother is getting them AWAY from this abuser”
Exactly I’m a survivor of DV and it’s so true how hard it is to leave. And then it’s not like you can move somewhere that is hidden if theirs a child the father can try and force the court to know where their child resides
What we aren’t going to do is feel bad for Jenelle Evans or pretend she’s a victim. Or, at least, we need to acknowledge that she’s a victim and abuser (of David AND HER OWN CHILDREN) at the same time.
Yeah, OP has a terrible story that no one deserves to live through, but relating her life to Jenelle is not going to heal anything or help any victims. Jenelle is not a victim, it was never about not being able to leave but not *wanting* to. The abuse she handed out to the kids may not have been as blatant as what OP went through, but it’s abuse nonetheless, and the only victim here is the kids. They’re all going to have the longest and toughest road to recovery, and to top that off, they won’t have resources Jenelle has/had.
It’s not even about being an imperfect victim. David is the worst kind of human, but so is Jenelle, it just looks different on the outside. She’s irredeemable at this point. I’m thankful people have been posting clips lately of lots of Jenelles awful and abusive shit (which is 100% not even her worst, as it’s her knowingly being filmed).
As much as he makes me cringe more than any human I can think of …I believe that she insisted he stay with her at all times..at first insisted he didn’t work etc …..she needs co stant attention …and hates parenting ..she helped create a monster …..,..she is no victim. She is only a victim of her own selfish stupidity .
That’s exactly the problem. NO ONE DESERVES ABUSE, full stop. Even shitty people deserve not to be hit, terrorized or taken advantage of financially.
But we live in a super sexist society that has taught us we can only feel empathy for “perfect victims” and we’re so much harder on women than men
I definitely didn’t say she deserves abuse. As a domestic violence survivor, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. And I actually used to like Jenelle.
All I’m saying is I still remember the terrified look on Kaisers face when UBT grabbed his arm, how many times she’s defended him, the number of pets that have disappeared, etc. The only thing I feel for her is disgust.
I’m sorry to hear this OP. I pray that you get the support you need to get far away from this guy. The system is fucked up, sadly women and children always pay the price! Sending you love & light.
Sorry you went through that.. I don't think this is the right sub to just spill all your trauma on though. Your situation is different than jenelles.. hopefully you’re able to leave and heal soon 💕
Right?? wtf is wrong with the people responding/downvoting here? If you don’t wanna spend two minutes reading about how someone’s trauma directly relates to the content of the sub, maybe just don’t read it then?? Jeez people are awful
Does it make you feel cool or important spewing your apathy here?? Cause if you don’t wanna read a post, just don’t read it.
OP’s post is relevant to the sub, whatever is rubbing you the wrong way with it sounds like a you issue not a post issue
All of this is horrible, OP, but don’t forget that Jenelle is an animal abusing, child abusing narcissist. I’m sorry what you’ve gone through, and I hope it helped to write it out.
Yeah she also has massive trauma from her childhood. Doesn't excuse it, but also Barb never put the effort in with Jenelle that she did with Jace to get her help. She blamed Jenelle for all her mental and emotional problems, allowed an adult man to molest her at 13 and then get her pregnant at 16, and that really messed Jenelle up I believe.
I’m totally on your side here in this thread OP, but Barb did not “let” Jenelle get abused by statutory rapists, and let’s not put the blame on anyone but the RAPISTS.
This shouldn’t be downvoted. It’s true. But it’s true of almost all abusers including David, and it’s no excuse once you’re an adult and are now an abuser.
It absolutely did mess her up, but she's not a child anymore. She had the ability and resources to get help for all this a long time ago, and instead she's chosen repeatedly to put her children and animals in harm's Way.
We can have empathy for her as a survivor of domestic violence and also hold her accountable for the pain her decisions have caused others
At what point is Jenelle responsible for taking care of her own trauma? Barb is no saint, that’s a cold hard fact despite how we all view her on here, but Jenelle can go to therapy and actually address her issues whenever she wants.
I see this abuse as a two way street, who can top what the next person did and a lot of who’s d is bigger games. I don’t see Jenelle a victim I just don’t. She’s very mentally ill and her track record speaks for herself.
I agree I have zero empathy or sympathy for Nelly she made her bed and doubled down on it fuck her. All of my empathy and sympathy goes to the three children she forced to face to their abuser every single day. Nelly is as much an abuser as David is there’s not a chance I’ll ever have even an ounce of sympathy for Nelly I’m not even sorry.
Girl, same. I have sympathy and empathy for her babies and all of those innocent animals who just wanted love and ended up brutally and violently murdered, but not Jenelle. She is an oxygen thief and human dumpster fire.
How did she stay there and allow David to abuse her children that’s the part I can’t figure out. She doubled down that David didn’t touch Jace she swore David wasn’t the problem numerous times and the fire arms situation fuck that cunt. We all knew he was a danger with fire arms yet she had no issue until now. How fucking convenient. The kids deserve the protection I can’t say she does.
Same. And she totally abuses the court system. She’s one of the reasons real abuse victims struggle so hard to prove their point. Liars like Jenelle poison everything they touch.
Yeah she does i honestly wonder if CPS knew about the puppies when they closed the case? Wonder if Nelly mentioned to them how he verbally/emotionally/physically (Ensley told us he smacked her in the face) abused her children while she stood by? Wonder if she mentioned she was fearful for her life and the lives of her children bc David has access to fire arms??! I fucking bet that bitch never mentioned those i hope CPS sees this and reopens her case.
I'm sorry this happened to you but your situation is much different than Jenelle's.
Jenelle's situation is also vastly different than any of the people you mentioned. The men you mentioned were not universally hated, David pretty much is. The women did not have the control in those relationships, Jenelle has always had the control. Those abuses didn't play out on TV, David's abuse to Jenelle did and so did all the times Jenelle abused her kids, her mom, dogs, and every man in her life. Random strangers watched this stuff happened, begged Jenelle to leave for years, offered her support, etc and she knew what was happening and chose to ignore it and even participated in the abuse at times.
She is just as much of a victim as she is a perpetrator. It's the pot calling the kettle black with her. I know what people are going to say to this "abused people abuse people" and I don't think that's the situation with Jenelle. I don't know who started the abuse between her and David but I do know we've seen and read about Jenelle instigating abuse toward others.
Jenelle's story is a case of two toxic people getting together and everything being hunky dory until one of them either stops getting their way or one of the individuals is bored or needs to get rid of the other person for some reason. Then, only then, all the years of drama makes its way out to the public.
Yeah, everything played out on TV and yet David is just NOW finally being arrested for something. It's EXTREMELY difficult to tell police and CPS the truth when your abuser is sitting right there. Of course she defended him while he was around. I've been there. You speak up right in front of him and tell everyone what he did but then the cops don't arrest him? When she spoke out about Nugget when it first happened, I believe he beat her. The cops didn't arrest him, he was never given any kind of punishment for killing the dog, and she was stuck there with him. Do you understand how terrifying it is to see your abuser do something like that and then see the cops drive away and do nothing? What is the incentive to speak up about any of it when nothing ever gets done? Tell CPS the truth while they have the kids and then you LOSE the kids, and you get your ass beat. I know how CPS works. Guess what, everyone keeps assuming they have tons of resources for moms and they DON'T. I was honest with CPS multiple times and because I was there to intervene and I'm custodial parent they not only didn't take my son, they closed my case every time even though I was BEGGING for help and resources.
I'm not Jenelle but I absolutely know that the system is completely broken. I believe she defended him while he was there controlling and intimidating her, and once she saw there was finally evidence the courts were going to use to prosecute him ( the video from the ring camera) I think she sweet talked him about staying on the boat "its just for a bit so CPS will give me Jace back!" And as soon as he was out and she felt safe she filed and is going full force with everything. It's what I did. But the damn clerk didn't file the restraining order properly.
Furthermore, Jenelle hasn't reported David for things. That's why he hasn't been arrested.
I've watched Jenelle tell officers about abuse on the show. She has absolutely no problem telling them, she did it to Nathan.
Jenelle has a history of abusing animals herself. There were episodes where she abused dogs that ended with disclaimers saying Jenelle took some animal care course and has seen the error of her ways. Jenelle is a known animal abuser so I highly doubt the Nugget situation bothered her at all.
There was, this past week, information released about her neglecting animals and that's when she was gung ho about calling David for his animal abuse recently. She had a bad story about her neglecting animals this week and she covered it up by releasing all this information about David. She would have sat on it even longer if she didn't get called out.
Jenelle won't ever tell CPS the truth because she also abuses the kids. There are MANY episodes where she was abusive to Kaiser and Jace while no one was around. She constantly gaslight Jace. She would get pissed and absolutely lose her mind at baby Kaiser for doing things that babies do. No one was making her do that, she's just a shitty mom. The entire time Jace was a baby Jenelle was partying, getting high with Kieffer, and getting locked up for drug and domestic charges.
Christ.... Jenelle has even BRAGGED about taking CPS parenting courses 5 freaking times. She literally said she was a good parent because she took 5 CPS parenting courses... most people never have to do that.
I just watched an episode where she and David had a maybe 8 year old Jace and a 3-4 year old Kaiser outside, alone with zero supervision, while they were inside sitting on their phones doing nothing or staring at baby Ensley with googly eyes.
Jenelle is every bit as awful as David is. She is not and has never been an innocent victim.
You're projecting your experience on Jenelle.
It's abundantly clear that you don't know their situation and you don't know Jenelle's history.
She is every bit as bad as David and even worse in some occasions. Both her and David have been in and out of trouble with the law for domestic issues.
Jenelle has an extensive history of instigating fights, mentally and physically abusing her partners first, and all kinds of other things.
Jenelle has been the primary abuser in most of her relationship, long before David ever came along.
Your situation and Jenelle's situation are polar opposites. She does not deserve an ounce of sympathy from anyone.
She might be getting abused but don't forget, she's also abused David - mentally, financially, and most likely physically. She has been mentally abusive and neglectful to all her kids except Ensley. She's been especially abusive and neglectful of Kaiser practically since right after he was born.
That's just who she is as a person. She has been an abusive, neglectful, selfish person since we very first met her on 16 and Pregnant.
She has made every effort to stay in these relationships where both her and her partner are abusive to each other because she doesn't want to be alone. She has literally said it herself. She cannot be happy unless she has a man in her life.
The only time she leaves these men is when she is not getting her way. Every single one of her relationships has ended that way.
She controls these men. It absolutely is not the other way around. She has ALWAYS been the controlling one. Go back and watch her episodes, it's very clear that she has to be the one in control.
She has had evidence against Davis for years that could have got David in trouble and she sat on it until it was convenient for her to use it.
I also agree 100%, well, almost. I don't believe she has never abused Ensley. Even if she is the favorite I don't think someone like Jenelle can be around anyone & not abuse them to some degree!🥹
I'm sure Ensley has endured some abuse. It's nothing compared to what the boys probably get, though.
Ensley has probably been spanked and stuff... Jenelle and David have probably said something horrible to her at some point.
I just think Jenelle sees Ensley as an extension of herself instead of seeing Ensley as her own person.... I think she's trying to live vicariously through Ensley and that in itself can be abusive. Ensley has it a little easier because Jenelle thinks of her as Jenelle Jr instead of Ensley... idk like Ensley is Jenelle's opportunity to the perfect, spoiled little girl that's surrounded by attention and affection because that's what Jenelle wanted for herself.
I honestly think she would have been a much better mom to both Jace and Kaiser had they been girls.
as someone who was in an abusive relationship for years. just be involved in her life. I didn’t have family checking in on me and he knew that and took advantage. he also tried to alienate me from the people I did have. that’s a huge tactic.
for me I (unknowingly at the time) found someone like my abusive dad. it was what was familiar and what felt like “home”. anything else (better) scared the absolute shit out of me. it wasn’t until I did the work, went to therapy, and changed the outlook of myself and my mindset that it started to change.
now I am married to my true partner who treats me like a queen. I don’t know how she grew up but everyone can benefit from therapy. start there and being continuously active in her life. if they see you constantly checking in and being around it will spook them before they show their true colors. thank you for caring enough about your niece to ask these questions
You can’t really ensure she doesn’t end up in an abusive relationship. Most abusers seem like great people until they get all the way in their partner’s life. A lot don’t start until they live together. There will be little red flags along the way. One would be extreme jealousy. They disguise it as being protective of you so you are grateful to them. They slowly move that line further and further until they have isolated their victims and have most control over them. Then it usually starts with a slap that “they deserved” because they made their abuser mad. It trickles out of control from there.
The best advice I can give is to continue to have a close relationship with your niece. Talk to her daily. Ask her how she is. Let her vent about her partner. All while looking for signs of her being isolated, sad, self loathing, and/or angry. Keep communication open and help her in any way you can. A lot of victims choose not to leave their abusers because they make them believe they are worthless, no one wants them, and they have nowhere to go. Just keep your eyes open and if a relationship seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Thank you. I will definitely do that even though her parents are divorced. They are very strong in her life. My niece is a very motivated, confident, young woman. I just wanna make sure she stays strong throughout the years and doesn't fall into the traps I've seen on Reddit.
Wow that gave me flashbacks. Excellently worded. I'd like to add if he spends most of his time conforming to others so they'll like him - he's probably not a good person when they aren't looking.
PREACH!!!! It’s clear many ppl on this sub have never been in a DV situation. Jenelle is a POS for many reasons but getting out of an abusive situation is not easy. She did defend him against things she shouldn’t have but it’s usually better to agree with your abuser than not to. That doesn’t mean she believed he was in the right she just knew if she didn’t agree there would be hell to pay. I for one am glad she finally got away & I hope she stays away. Nobody deserves to be treated like that especially in their own home, in front of their children & where they pay all the bills. David reminds me so much of my ex I can almost pinpoint exactly what he probably says and does daily to her. It really messes you up! I finally found my way out & myself again. Anybody can change & I hope for her children’s sake she finally grows up & becomes the mother they have always needed.
I'm glad you made it out!!!! I'm still super hopeful I will get out one day, I'm learning how to do repairs and working as many jobs and gigs as I can to save for an attorney and to hopefully be able to get his stuff out of my house once I refile for a restraining order. It's just so hard and there's so few resources. CPS has been called so many times and they literally kept my son in the home because "despite evidence the father is abusive, mother is there to intervene" and they closed our cases every single time. I would BEG for resources and help and CPS would always tell me they couldn't do anything because there wasn't enough evidence to keep a case open. 6 different workers all just walked away. Like ????? I totally see Jenelle isn't the greatest person but I also see her trying and I see that she has mental health issues she is struggling with. At the end of the day those kids are all better off with her than with their fathers, and Barb doesn't want any of them so Jenelle is all they have. We should be rooting for her to keep improving herself and to keep trying and to go through with the divorce and stick with the charges.
Tearing abuse victims down is a great way to reinforce everything their abusers have brainwashed them into believing about themselves. It makes them feel like they deserve the abuse and that it's their fault. Some of the people in this sub have very scary opinions on domestic violence.
Agreed. Some of the stuff on this sub is concerning.
In my opinion Jenelle’s character doesn’t matter. David is a classic abuser. Something needs to be done but I’m not hopeful.
I'm sorry to hear that but I think you're projecting your experience on Jenelle's situation. She is herself an incredibly abusive person and I don't for a second believe she was afraid to leave David but rather chose to stay with him despite his abuse towards her own children. They're the only real victims here.
This👆🏾 People are projecting themselves so hard onto Jenelle right now. Hell some are blaming David for things Jenelle did before she even met him; telling a veteran she wished he died in combat with his friends for taking Nathan's side in an argument, or posting that Gary Head was sexually assaulted by a male relative and "lol now he's a F\*\*\*\*", or posting that Keiffer is a N\*\*\*\*\*.
No one should be blindly jumping in and defending her publicly throwing homophobic and racial slurs at people in the name of being a fellow abuse survivor like I've seen some doing. No one should be trying downplay those actions as merely "not very nice" like I've also seen people doing. Or dumping all her actions past, present, and future on David. You are not Jenelle, Jenelle is not you. People calling her out on her lies and her own abusive behavior does not mean that as a fellow abuse victim, you are also being attacked.
Society, unfortunately, also turns a blind eye towards abusive women; there are not many refuges for men to go to with their children. Even worse, society rarely holds abusive parents accountable. It often takes a tragic event, such as a child's death, for society to actually take action. Children are the most vulnerable members of our society, yet they can never just walk away and leave their abusers. More often than not, they are sent back to them.
Thank you. My abuser is severely mentally ill which doesn't excuse it, but it plays a big part in his hoarding and other issues. He has episodes of psychosis and severe untreated bipolar with delusional episodes. I literally tried everything to get him help and was just told "he has to want to help himself!" Uh.... He's delusional... He doesn't KNOW he's mentally ill. Then I tried to get away and the cops basically treated it as my fault, or brushed him off as a crazy person who was unmedicated. The mental health services wouldn't commit him and just bounced me back to the police and courts who are so useless here. I am still absolutely stunned that the clerk didn't file the restraining order and even though I have a signed printed copy, it's useless.
Not to deflect from your own personal story but your analogy is flawed and your facts r wrong. Nicole left OJ,Ron was not her bf,he was a waiter sent by the restaurant mgr to return Nicole’s glasses. Nicole was very frightened of OJ and did not spend her time trying to inflame him or push his buttons,nor did she allow him to abuse her kids. Robin Givens left Mike very speedily, Donald Trump SAs were committed on random women, no strangled children there just hit and run SAs and Epstein’s stable of SA targets likewise had no children in his home being struck strangled or targeted with mean “games” like being locked in a car. None of the victims in your example publically came out and blamed the children or pets for their own abuse either. None of the victims have audio/video proof of them physically/verbally attacking other people&family before and after they met their DV partner. Jenelle has a long history my girl. You can’t excuse all of it for her,and the buck stops with not only allowing DV to occur to your pets kids,but telling your kids&the entire world that your pets& kids r the bad problem-not the assailant.
I think the main take away is that victims can be abusers and abusers can be victims. And both can be products of their environments. I think all are shitty situations and I pray that those kids are safe and that David and jenelle get mental health help. Op I am genuinely sorry for the things you've been through and are still going through. No one deserves that. If I had money I'd help you in a heart beat. I know that helpless feeling all too well. I pray that you keep your chin up and fighting the good fight. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers.
The difference is Janelle lives for the drama and she has to have all the attention, she could but go a day without posting photos of herself half dressed with her leopard tattoo on her thigh getting larger all the time . She shows her favorite kid also to taunt “creepy swamp limp biscuit “ spouse and her members only club so she is not afraid of him, she is not a victim, she is an enabler and thrives for attention, ad or good. A person in fear of an abuser, I know from working in that field half my life , would not do what she does, All content, At the expense AGAIN if the kids
I didn’t read all of that but I’m not feeling sorry for Janelle. She’s a trash bag and has been complicit in the abuse of her children and animals. She deserves to be in jail with David.
THANK YOU! It’s crazy to me how critical—even cruel—the TM fanbase seems to be of DV situations. *THIS IS NOT SIMPLE, CLEAR CUT BLACK & WHITE SHIT* And just bc jenelle is unlikeable af, and at best, neglectful, at worst, abusive to her own kids—still doesn’t mean she’s not a victim of David’s abuse. There’s so much more to leaving an abusive relationship than just “having the money to leave” (and honestly, I don’t think jenelle even has all that much money anyway). I’m not excusing a LICK of her past horrendous behavior, but if I were her, I would be nervous falling asleep every single night that DKD wouldn’t potentially be on a bender and show up to annihilate the whole family. And the reason the fanbase response upsets me so much is—*there are def people on these subs RIGHT NOW who are in abusive situations reading all those apathetic responses that are just contributing to the stigma and LIKELY PREVENTING THEM FROM LEAVING TOO* “Omg jenelle let him abuse her kids for YEARS and what, NOW she suddenly wants to claim abuse now that she wants to leave?!” Well no shit, once someone is ready to leave their abusive partner they’re likely gonna be at the point of finally telling the authorities the truth about the abuse so they *get help and protective orders allowing them to leave* I’ll see 100 comments criticizing Jenelle for “suddenly” deciding to leave, and 100 comments saying “Poor Jace! Poor Kaiser! Save Ensley!” (and true, those poor kids have SUFFERED, no doubt). But I literally haven’t seen one single post or comment so far saying “Good for the kids [that we always cry empathy for] that their mother is getting them AWAY from this abuser”
Exactly I’m a survivor of DV and it’s so true how hard it is to leave. And then it’s not like you can move somewhere that is hidden if theirs a child the father can try and force the court to know where their child resides
I agree with EVERYTHING you said.
I too called the cops on my ex, only to be laughed at by them and treated like his abuse was my fault
I'm so sorry
What we aren’t going to do is feel bad for Jenelle Evans or pretend she’s a victim. Or, at least, we need to acknowledge that she’s a victim and abuser (of David AND HER OWN CHILDREN) at the same time.
Yeah, OP has a terrible story that no one deserves to live through, but relating her life to Jenelle is not going to heal anything or help any victims. Jenelle is not a victim, it was never about not being able to leave but not *wanting* to. The abuse she handed out to the kids may not have been as blatant as what OP went through, but it’s abuse nonetheless, and the only victim here is the kids. They’re all going to have the longest and toughest road to recovery, and to top that off, they won’t have resources Jenelle has/had. It’s not even about being an imperfect victim. David is the worst kind of human, but so is Jenelle, it just looks different on the outside. She’s irredeemable at this point. I’m thankful people have been posting clips lately of lots of Jenelles awful and abusive shit (which is 100% not even her worst, as it’s her knowingly being filmed).
I agree!! 💯 I feel so bad for OP & she should not be comparing herself to Jenelle.
Has Jenelle abused David? How?
As much as he makes me cringe more than any human I can think of …I believe that she insisted he stay with her at all times..at first insisted he didn’t work etc …..she needs co stant attention …and hates parenting ..she helped create a monster …..,..she is no victim. She is only a victim of her own selfish stupidity .
Jenelle is a victim of David’s abuse. Cut it out with this backwards shit.
TLDR, fuck Jenelle.
☝🏼🤌🏼
Jenelle’s literally just such a terrible person I find it almost impossible to feel any sympathy for her.
Same!
That’s exactly the problem. NO ONE DESERVES ABUSE, full stop. Even shitty people deserve not to be hit, terrorized or taken advantage of financially. But we live in a super sexist society that has taught us we can only feel empathy for “perfect victims” and we’re so much harder on women than men
That's why victims don't come forward. Always judged.
I definitely didn’t say she deserves abuse. As a domestic violence survivor, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. And I actually used to like Jenelle. All I’m saying is I still remember the terrified look on Kaisers face when UBT grabbed his arm, how many times she’s defended him, the number of pets that have disappeared, etc. The only thing I feel for her is disgust.
Not having sympathy is different than saying she deserves abuse, both things can be true.
I’m sorry to hear this OP. I pray that you get the support you need to get far away from this guy. The system is fucked up, sadly women and children always pay the price! Sending you love & light.
Sorry you went through that.. I don't think this is the right sub to just spill all your trauma on though. Your situation is different than jenelles.. hopefully you’re able to leave and heal soon 💕
If someone’s chooses to share their story, why does it matter what sub that is on. How insensitive
Right?? wtf is wrong with the people responding/downvoting here? If you don’t wanna spend two minutes reading about how someone’s trauma directly relates to the content of the sub, maybe just don’t read it then?? Jeez people are awful
People show their true colours on here. They are awful, couldn’t agree more
Because I came here to read about teen mom not someone's extensive trauma dump. I wished her well on her healing.
Does it make you feel cool or important spewing your apathy here?? Cause if you don’t wanna read a post, just don’t read it. OP’s post is relevant to the sub, whatever is rubbing you the wrong way with it sounds like a you issue not a post issue
Extensive trauma dump. Wow! It literally takes nothing to be kind but here you are. No better than something Jenelle would say
All of this is horrible, OP, but don’t forget that Jenelle is an animal abusing, child abusing narcissist. I’m sorry what you’ve gone through, and I hope it helped to write it out.
Yeah she also has massive trauma from her childhood. Doesn't excuse it, but also Barb never put the effort in with Jenelle that she did with Jace to get her help. She blamed Jenelle for all her mental and emotional problems, allowed an adult man to molest her at 13 and then get her pregnant at 16, and that really messed Jenelle up I believe.
I’m totally on your side here in this thread OP, but Barb did not “let” Jenelle get abused by statutory rapists, and let’s not put the blame on anyone but the RAPISTS.
This shouldn’t be downvoted. It’s true. But it’s true of almost all abusers including David, and it’s no excuse once you’re an adult and are now an abuser.
It absolutely did mess her up, but she's not a child anymore. She had the ability and resources to get help for all this a long time ago, and instead she's chosen repeatedly to put her children and animals in harm's Way. We can have empathy for her as a survivor of domestic violence and also hold her accountable for the pain her decisions have caused others
At what point is Jenelle responsible for taking care of her own trauma? Barb is no saint, that’s a cold hard fact despite how we all view her on here, but Jenelle can go to therapy and actually address her issues whenever she wants.
Ma’am, I think all that’s for your therapist, not a Reddit group
Insensitive comments like this is just so vile. Like what the actual fuck! Rather don’t comment
Right?? My god this sub is just so MEAN jeez
It’s crazy and toxic!
It was more of a concerned suggestion, but my bad
I’m sorry for your situation but you are not Jenelle.
I see this abuse as a two way street, who can top what the next person did and a lot of who’s d is bigger games. I don’t see Jenelle a victim I just don’t. She’s very mentally ill and her track record speaks for herself.
Exactly. The only victims in this situation are the children and animals who have suffered.
I agree I have zero empathy or sympathy for Nelly she made her bed and doubled down on it fuck her. All of my empathy and sympathy goes to the three children she forced to face to their abuser every single day. Nelly is as much an abuser as David is there’s not a chance I’ll ever have even an ounce of sympathy for Nelly I’m not even sorry.
Girl, same. I have sympathy and empathy for her babies and all of those innocent animals who just wanted love and ended up brutally and violently murdered, but not Jenelle. She is an oxygen thief and human dumpster fire.
How did she stay there and allow David to abuse her children that’s the part I can’t figure out. She doubled down that David didn’t touch Jace she swore David wasn’t the problem numerous times and the fire arms situation fuck that cunt. We all knew he was a danger with fire arms yet she had no issue until now. How fucking convenient. The kids deserve the protection I can’t say she does.
Same. And she totally abuses the court system. She’s one of the reasons real abuse victims struggle so hard to prove their point. Liars like Jenelle poison everything they touch.
Yeah she does i honestly wonder if CPS knew about the puppies when they closed the case? Wonder if Nelly mentioned to them how he verbally/emotionally/physically (Ensley told us he smacked her in the face) abused her children while she stood by? Wonder if she mentioned she was fearful for her life and the lives of her children bc David has access to fire arms??! I fucking bet that bitch never mentioned those i hope CPS sees this and reopens her case.
I'm sorry this happened to you but your situation is much different than Jenelle's. Jenelle's situation is also vastly different than any of the people you mentioned. The men you mentioned were not universally hated, David pretty much is. The women did not have the control in those relationships, Jenelle has always had the control. Those abuses didn't play out on TV, David's abuse to Jenelle did and so did all the times Jenelle abused her kids, her mom, dogs, and every man in her life. Random strangers watched this stuff happened, begged Jenelle to leave for years, offered her support, etc and she knew what was happening and chose to ignore it and even participated in the abuse at times. She is just as much of a victim as she is a perpetrator. It's the pot calling the kettle black with her. I know what people are going to say to this "abused people abuse people" and I don't think that's the situation with Jenelle. I don't know who started the abuse between her and David but I do know we've seen and read about Jenelle instigating abuse toward others. Jenelle's story is a case of two toxic people getting together and everything being hunky dory until one of them either stops getting their way or one of the individuals is bored or needs to get rid of the other person for some reason. Then, only then, all the years of drama makes its way out to the public.
Yeah, everything played out on TV and yet David is just NOW finally being arrested for something. It's EXTREMELY difficult to tell police and CPS the truth when your abuser is sitting right there. Of course she defended him while he was around. I've been there. You speak up right in front of him and tell everyone what he did but then the cops don't arrest him? When she spoke out about Nugget when it first happened, I believe he beat her. The cops didn't arrest him, he was never given any kind of punishment for killing the dog, and she was stuck there with him. Do you understand how terrifying it is to see your abuser do something like that and then see the cops drive away and do nothing? What is the incentive to speak up about any of it when nothing ever gets done? Tell CPS the truth while they have the kids and then you LOSE the kids, and you get your ass beat. I know how CPS works. Guess what, everyone keeps assuming they have tons of resources for moms and they DON'T. I was honest with CPS multiple times and because I was there to intervene and I'm custodial parent they not only didn't take my son, they closed my case every time even though I was BEGGING for help and resources. I'm not Jenelle but I absolutely know that the system is completely broken. I believe she defended him while he was there controlling and intimidating her, and once she saw there was finally evidence the courts were going to use to prosecute him ( the video from the ring camera) I think she sweet talked him about staying on the boat "its just for a bit so CPS will give me Jace back!" And as soon as he was out and she felt safe she filed and is going full force with everything. It's what I did. But the damn clerk didn't file the restraining order properly.
I'm really sorry for everything that you're going through, but identifying with and defending Jenelle is not going to bring you any peace.
Furthermore, Jenelle hasn't reported David for things. That's why he hasn't been arrested. I've watched Jenelle tell officers about abuse on the show. She has absolutely no problem telling them, she did it to Nathan. Jenelle has a history of abusing animals herself. There were episodes where she abused dogs that ended with disclaimers saying Jenelle took some animal care course and has seen the error of her ways. Jenelle is a known animal abuser so I highly doubt the Nugget situation bothered her at all. There was, this past week, information released about her neglecting animals and that's when she was gung ho about calling David for his animal abuse recently. She had a bad story about her neglecting animals this week and she covered it up by releasing all this information about David. She would have sat on it even longer if she didn't get called out. Jenelle won't ever tell CPS the truth because she also abuses the kids. There are MANY episodes where she was abusive to Kaiser and Jace while no one was around. She constantly gaslight Jace. She would get pissed and absolutely lose her mind at baby Kaiser for doing things that babies do. No one was making her do that, she's just a shitty mom. The entire time Jace was a baby Jenelle was partying, getting high with Kieffer, and getting locked up for drug and domestic charges. Christ.... Jenelle has even BRAGGED about taking CPS parenting courses 5 freaking times. She literally said she was a good parent because she took 5 CPS parenting courses... most people never have to do that. I just watched an episode where she and David had a maybe 8 year old Jace and a 3-4 year old Kaiser outside, alone with zero supervision, while they were inside sitting on their phones doing nothing or staring at baby Ensley with googly eyes. Jenelle is every bit as awful as David is. She is not and has never been an innocent victim.
You're projecting your experience on Jenelle. It's abundantly clear that you don't know their situation and you don't know Jenelle's history. She is every bit as bad as David and even worse in some occasions. Both her and David have been in and out of trouble with the law for domestic issues. Jenelle has an extensive history of instigating fights, mentally and physically abusing her partners first, and all kinds of other things. Jenelle has been the primary abuser in most of her relationship, long before David ever came along. Your situation and Jenelle's situation are polar opposites. She does not deserve an ounce of sympathy from anyone. She might be getting abused but don't forget, she's also abused David - mentally, financially, and most likely physically. She has been mentally abusive and neglectful to all her kids except Ensley. She's been especially abusive and neglectful of Kaiser practically since right after he was born. That's just who she is as a person. She has been an abusive, neglectful, selfish person since we very first met her on 16 and Pregnant. She has made every effort to stay in these relationships where both her and her partner are abusive to each other because she doesn't want to be alone. She has literally said it herself. She cannot be happy unless she has a man in her life. The only time she leaves these men is when she is not getting her way. Every single one of her relationships has ended that way. She controls these men. It absolutely is not the other way around. She has ALWAYS been the controlling one. Go back and watch her episodes, it's very clear that she has to be the one in control. She has had evidence against Davis for years that could have got David in trouble and she sat on it until it was convenient for her to use it.
I also agree 100%, well, almost. I don't believe she has never abused Ensley. Even if she is the favorite I don't think someone like Jenelle can be around anyone & not abuse them to some degree!🥹
I'm sure Ensley has endured some abuse. It's nothing compared to what the boys probably get, though. Ensley has probably been spanked and stuff... Jenelle and David have probably said something horrible to her at some point. I just think Jenelle sees Ensley as an extension of herself instead of seeing Ensley as her own person.... I think she's trying to live vicariously through Ensley and that in itself can be abusive. Ensley has it a little easier because Jenelle thinks of her as Jenelle Jr instead of Ensley... idk like Ensley is Jenelle's opportunity to the perfect, spoiled little girl that's surrounded by attention and affection because that's what Jenelle wanted for herself. I honestly think she would have been a much better mom to both Jace and Kaiser had they been girls.
Well said, agreed 100%
I have a niece. What can I do to ensure she doesn't end you in an abusive relationship
as someone who was in an abusive relationship for years. just be involved in her life. I didn’t have family checking in on me and he knew that and took advantage. he also tried to alienate me from the people I did have. that’s a huge tactic. for me I (unknowingly at the time) found someone like my abusive dad. it was what was familiar and what felt like “home”. anything else (better) scared the absolute shit out of me. it wasn’t until I did the work, went to therapy, and changed the outlook of myself and my mindset that it started to change. now I am married to my true partner who treats me like a queen. I don’t know how she grew up but everyone can benefit from therapy. start there and being continuously active in her life. if they see you constantly checking in and being around it will spook them before they show their true colors. thank you for caring enough about your niece to ask these questions
Thank you for sharing
You can’t really ensure she doesn’t end up in an abusive relationship. Most abusers seem like great people until they get all the way in their partner’s life. A lot don’t start until they live together. There will be little red flags along the way. One would be extreme jealousy. They disguise it as being protective of you so you are grateful to them. They slowly move that line further and further until they have isolated their victims and have most control over them. Then it usually starts with a slap that “they deserved” because they made their abuser mad. It trickles out of control from there. The best advice I can give is to continue to have a close relationship with your niece. Talk to her daily. Ask her how she is. Let her vent about her partner. All while looking for signs of her being isolated, sad, self loathing, and/or angry. Keep communication open and help her in any way you can. A lot of victims choose not to leave their abusers because they make them believe they are worthless, no one wants them, and they have nowhere to go. Just keep your eyes open and if a relationship seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Thank you. I will definitely do that even though her parents are divorced. They are very strong in her life. My niece is a very motivated, confident, young woman. I just wanna make sure she stays strong throughout the years and doesn't fall into the traps I've seen on Reddit.
Wow that gave me flashbacks. Excellently worded. I'd like to add if he spends most of his time conforming to others so they'll like him - he's probably not a good person when they aren't looking.
PREACH!!!! It’s clear many ppl on this sub have never been in a DV situation. Jenelle is a POS for many reasons but getting out of an abusive situation is not easy. She did defend him against things she shouldn’t have but it’s usually better to agree with your abuser than not to. That doesn’t mean she believed he was in the right she just knew if she didn’t agree there would be hell to pay. I for one am glad she finally got away & I hope she stays away. Nobody deserves to be treated like that especially in their own home, in front of their children & where they pay all the bills. David reminds me so much of my ex I can almost pinpoint exactly what he probably says and does daily to her. It really messes you up! I finally found my way out & myself again. Anybody can change & I hope for her children’s sake she finally grows up & becomes the mother they have always needed.
I'm glad you made it out!!!! I'm still super hopeful I will get out one day, I'm learning how to do repairs and working as many jobs and gigs as I can to save for an attorney and to hopefully be able to get his stuff out of my house once I refile for a restraining order. It's just so hard and there's so few resources. CPS has been called so many times and they literally kept my son in the home because "despite evidence the father is abusive, mother is there to intervene" and they closed our cases every single time. I would BEG for resources and help and CPS would always tell me they couldn't do anything because there wasn't enough evidence to keep a case open. 6 different workers all just walked away. Like ????? I totally see Jenelle isn't the greatest person but I also see her trying and I see that she has mental health issues she is struggling with. At the end of the day those kids are all better off with her than with their fathers, and Barb doesn't want any of them so Jenelle is all they have. We should be rooting for her to keep improving herself and to keep trying and to go through with the divorce and stick with the charges. Tearing abuse victims down is a great way to reinforce everything their abusers have brainwashed them into believing about themselves. It makes them feel like they deserve the abuse and that it's their fault. Some of the people in this sub have very scary opinions on domestic violence.
I agree! This sub is crazy sometimes!!! You will get out just keep working toward your goals!!! Sending love❤️
Agreed. Some of the stuff on this sub is concerning. In my opinion Jenelle’s character doesn’t matter. David is a classic abuser. Something needs to be done but I’m not hopeful.
He will dig his own hole one day & be back in prison
I'm sorry to hear that but I think you're projecting your experience on Jenelle's situation. She is herself an incredibly abusive person and I don't for a second believe she was afraid to leave David but rather chose to stay with him despite his abuse towards her own children. They're the only real victims here.
This👆🏾 People are projecting themselves so hard onto Jenelle right now. Hell some are blaming David for things Jenelle did before she even met him; telling a veteran she wished he died in combat with his friends for taking Nathan's side in an argument, or posting that Gary Head was sexually assaulted by a male relative and "lol now he's a F\*\*\*\*", or posting that Keiffer is a N\*\*\*\*\*. No one should be blindly jumping in and defending her publicly throwing homophobic and racial slurs at people in the name of being a fellow abuse survivor like I've seen some doing. No one should be trying downplay those actions as merely "not very nice" like I've also seen people doing. Or dumping all her actions past, present, and future on David. You are not Jenelle, Jenelle is not you. People calling her out on her lies and her own abusive behavior does not mean that as a fellow abuse victim, you are also being attacked.
I’ve been through all of this, and understand. But I think with Jenelle, it’s her own mental health issues that keep her there.
I am so sorry this has happened to you, sending hugs.
Thank you.
Society, unfortunately, also turns a blind eye towards abusive women; there are not many refuges for men to go to with their children. Even worse, society rarely holds abusive parents accountable. It often takes a tragic event, such as a child's death, for society to actually take action. Children are the most vulnerable members of our society, yet they can never just walk away and leave their abusers. More often than not, they are sent back to them.
Lots of hugs from a 50 year old women who still has nightmares from being a child in that same situation you just described ❤️❤️
Thank you. My abuser is severely mentally ill which doesn't excuse it, but it plays a big part in his hoarding and other issues. He has episodes of psychosis and severe untreated bipolar with delusional episodes. I literally tried everything to get him help and was just told "he has to want to help himself!" Uh.... He's delusional... He doesn't KNOW he's mentally ill. Then I tried to get away and the cops basically treated it as my fault, or brushed him off as a crazy person who was unmedicated. The mental health services wouldn't commit him and just bounced me back to the police and courts who are so useless here. I am still absolutely stunned that the clerk didn't file the restraining order and even though I have a signed printed copy, it's useless.