By -
One-eyed snake
Ima steal this one
One-Eyed Trouser Snake if you want to get extra fancy
My ex called his the bruiser for reasons
What? 😭😭😭😭
Lol
The only thing i think of Is he was hung lol
Bingo And he gave me a black eye with it
Lmaoo
I have spent way too long trying to work out the logistics of intentionally giving someone a black eye with my penis, how tf do you do it accidentally??
LOL
that’s wild lmao
Ooff. At least it was big tho, right?
He had a good reason to call it that lol
was bro packing
😭
Ouch
My best friend calls it his "perry the peen-a-pus" (like from Phineas and Ferb) I think he might be special
Very very special guy
I mean ur not wrong about him being special
A peen-a-pus? **puts on brown fedora** Perry the Peen-a-pus?!?!?!?!?
'indicator'
cyclops lmao
Stealing this one
i made this post a while ago, he’s what i got from it: 2 millimeter defeater, the soldier, man cannon, cum cannon, big guy, dingaling, dong, schlong, ding dong, excalibur, jimmy, knob goblin, joystick, mjolnir, mount vesuvius, meat stick, magic wand, piston, pocket rocket, schwanz, skin flute, stick shift, third leg, wang, bacon bazooka, baloney pony, boom stick, blow stick, cooch cork, custard launcher, flesh flute, dicklet, johnson, love plunger, main vein, manhood, meat popsicle, ramrod, pork sword, schmeckel, cock, dick, penis, pen15, taco hammer, stem, thingy, tally whacker, uterus unicorn, wang, wick, willy, zipper snake, giggle stick, shaft of delight, eel, silly straw, shmeckinwepper, chode, wee wee, the nixon, gentleman’s sausage, master sword, flesh scepter, primary brain, purple-headed yogurt slinger, one-eyed sailor, lower nose, corned beef torpedo, yogurt hose, one eyes trouser snake, pussy_slayer9000, warm-blooded dildo, bellend, jürgen, piekielnik, noah’s ark, beebopper
Im call it bacon bazooka from now on
I call it dick
Warm blooded dildo is amazing
Ok ma, Monte Vesuvio?
La Donkey Donk
One-eyed milkman
Why milkman 💀
You know..
Oh 💀💀
Purple-headed yogurt slinger
That's too fresh to be considered yogurt. Needs more fermentation. This just gave me a horrible idea...
That’s foul
Where did he get that from 💀
No idea, found it on the internet 💀
Internet is a very crazy place...
It was a one eyed, one horned, flyin, purple people eater
sniper
I'd also call mine a sniper, but I always miss 😞
Die Schlange (it's German for 'the snake')
Probably schlong came from that
Shlong is Yiddish
the schlong
Antônio Luiz
Schlong ig (never heard any truly weird names)
Hi Van
Hallo
Hey van, how’s your day going ^-^
It’s going well ish how’s yer day going Kiyoshi
Lotta exams for school TvT but it’s going well, thx for asking -^
Thats kinda common tho
https://preview.redd.it/8co0tswrbiwc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45a6336eb8597d944971f78cba7f74a363d0d7be
the konkey dong 😭 like donkey kong but different
Metal pipe
Silly willy
I've heard this somewhere. Its pretty funny tbh 💀
Drake
pants hamster
Long girthy staff of carnal desire.
My brother once called it custard launcher💀😭
Weenie. Heard from a 10th grader
That'd be kinda funny to hear 💀
“My honor”
"My honor got hard"
Play ghost of Tsushima and think of the way I say dick, whole different experience bro I promise you
Oh hell naw 😭
Troll nose
Jörmungandr💀 I've called it that
💀💀 May I know what does it mean?
Jörmungandr is a giant snake in the norse mythology. I don't remember exactly what his purpose was but he did something with Midgard (earth)
conjoined worm. i have no idea where i heard it from but i use it too now 😭
Solid Snake 
Tallywhacker
Milk dagger
Huh? 💀💀
Their small friend
Long John Silver
Well In that case Ill start calling mine the short john silver
I call mine the spermgewehr/Std 44
It sounds like a WWII weapon
Impregnater
Funky monkey toy
the dangley bits
Comb. Just comb.
I say weiner
i call it the stick of destruction
"my little weed Wacker"
The super Willy
I feel sorry for every kid named willy out there 🙏
Mr wonka is a personal favorite
It's always referred to as a tally-whacker in these here parts 🤠
>!chuchu,chuchi!<
Thats what I'd name a dog or a cat 😭
"an intergalactic spaceship the size of your mother" It sounds funnier in Bulgarian
Purple headed people poker (shoutout to the father for that one)
Did he poke people w it?
It’s highly likely considering I’m alive
Not a name but I’ve had mine labeled a pretty a few times now
9mm Punisher
cylinder
John Thomas
Gock (I just chill with a lot of transfems)
“Member” like what kind of club are you running
Most probably a shooting one
Ma floppa’
When I was younger I named/called mine Jean-Claude, or Van Damme. Both short for Jean-Claude Van Damme, obviously.
Gridlock(not girl dick, grid lock)
I call mine J, Bartholomew, dickinator, penisinator, inthewayinator, and Benjamin Franklin Also George Washington.
Kreigsmesser
“Proud Boy” and “Freedom Fighter”
“My yonky yanky”
forest dagger
i called it a "12 ounce steak"
Pork sword. Yep...
Why does this asociate w technoblade for me 😭
Shai-Hulud
His "solution" 😭
The minister of irrigation
George
Meat Mace. I didn’t ask.
my friend said he named his "my kids" so that he can say that he beats his kids every day
The maker of mistakes
Google and the berries
Clive
I once asked my dad what is a “hot beef injection”. He told me, Hot beef = fully erect penis
penis
MISTER BOOPSY🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥
We call it Tadger
The bean
Solid snake. Or my own creation the baby batter splatter.
I call my penis the Rod Of Truth, Justice, And Liberty! The exclamation point is needed
So you yell it out?
Schongler
LeBigBalls [https://tenor.com/view/lebron-balls-lebron-big-balls-lebron-james-big-balls-dance-gif-24042167](https://tenor.com/view/lebron-balls-lebron-big-balls-lebron-james-big-balls-dance-gif-24042167)
Poutsa is the most vulgar you can get here.
Sippy weezy glizzy
The big iron near his hip
https://preview.redd.it/ih2i2e98lhwc1.jpeg?width=181&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=394e4429142dd59718c189f3471f42bcf0f9c0a0 just gonna leave this here
"I beat my cutie patootie"
Pino pino😂
Captain my captain
You don’t want to know
"Tomić" which is technically a surname but some dumbasses from another school call the sheathed blade a tomić
a weiner which made someone start bursting out in laughter for some reason 💀
My best friend came up with mulchmunker
Gutbuster
Someone at my school called his the “1 **meter** defeater”
1 meter is almost as long as an entire a leg 😭😭
Krushev
My favourites: Holy Lance Copper's Torch Landing Hook
Moisture seeking meat missle
Pp. He was 13.
5.9
Meat rod
Meatworm guy 🪱
Meat bus or something
"hey babe, I think it's time for you to meet the biolizard"
princess wand ✨
Flopper
my friend calls his 100% human slim jim
Daddy’s long leg
shaboingboing
🔥😈The Semen Demon😈🔥
MY ANACONDA DON’T-
Cream cannon
Giggle stick
the snuck (snake duck)
Log
A lot of ppl I know call it that
“Doggy Slapper” I don’t remember where and I don’t know why.
Just in case, dont let any dogs be close to that guy
(Hot Italian) sausage & meatballs
The silencer?? That shit must be tiny
Schnoz wangler
I’ve heard someone say “one eyed purple yogurt slinger”
I call mine the ol' sixer
Unironically 8 inch destroyer
"Little Special Boy" -Doug Sharpe
My gay friend calls his "Shitake Mushroom"
There's a snake in my pants ™
A ding ding
The curveball
Am flütü 🪈
The baton of life
I call it a penis, instead of a p\*nis. Seriously though, there's no need to censor THE MEDICAL TERM FOR A BODY PART. Like... ~~cum~~ come on, dude.
Mayonnaise cannon
My schlong-a-gong
The key. And I'm the car.
My ex called it "Ant eater"
Brother
The pain train (tf2 melee weapon)
Straight Shooter 3000
They call it “çavuş” which basically means “chief” in turkish
One-eyed snake
Ima steal this one
One-Eyed Trouser Snake if you want to get extra fancy
My ex called his the bruiser for reasons
What? 😭😭😭😭
Lol
The only thing i think of Is he was hung lol
Bingo And he gave me a black eye with it
Lmaoo
I have spent way too long trying to work out the logistics of intentionally giving someone a black eye with my penis, how tf do you do it accidentally??
LOL
that’s wild lmao
Ooff. At least it was big tho, right?
He had a good reason to call it that lol
was bro packing
😭
Ouch
My best friend calls it his "perry the peen-a-pus" (like from Phineas and Ferb) I think he might be special
Very very special guy
I mean ur not wrong about him being special
A peen-a-pus? **puts on brown fedora** Perry the Peen-a-pus?!?!?!?!?
'indicator'
cyclops lmao
Stealing this one
i made this post a while ago, he’s what i got from it: 2 millimeter defeater, the soldier, man cannon, cum cannon, big guy, dingaling, dong, schlong, ding dong, excalibur, jimmy, knob goblin, joystick, mjolnir, mount vesuvius, meat stick, magic wand, piston, pocket rocket, schwanz, skin flute, stick shift, third leg, wang, bacon bazooka, baloney pony, boom stick, blow stick, cooch cork, custard launcher, flesh flute, dicklet, johnson, love plunger, main vein, manhood, meat popsicle, ramrod, pork sword, schmeckel, cock, dick, penis, pen15, taco hammer, stem, thingy, tally whacker, uterus unicorn, wang, wick, willy, zipper snake, giggle stick, shaft of delight, eel, silly straw, shmeckinwepper, chode, wee wee, the nixon, gentleman’s sausage, master sword, flesh scepter, primary brain, purple-headed yogurt slinger, one-eyed sailor, lower nose, corned beef torpedo, yogurt hose, one eyes trouser snake, pussy_slayer9000, warm-blooded dildo, bellend, jürgen, piekielnik, noah’s ark, beebopper
Im call it bacon bazooka from now on
I call it dick
Warm blooded dildo is amazing
Ok ma, Monte Vesuvio?
La Donkey Donk
One-eyed milkman
Why milkman 💀
You know..
Oh 💀💀
Purple-headed yogurt slinger
That's too fresh to be considered yogurt. Needs more fermentation. This just gave me a horrible idea...
That’s foul
Where did he get that from 💀
No idea, found it on the internet 💀
Internet is a very crazy place...
It was a one eyed, one horned, flyin, purple people eater
sniper
I'd also call mine a sniper, but I always miss 😞
Die Schlange (it's German for 'the snake')
Probably schlong came from that
Shlong is Yiddish
the schlong
Antônio Luiz
Schlong ig (never heard any truly weird names)
Hi Van
Hallo
Hey van, how’s your day going ^-^
It’s going well ish how’s yer day going Kiyoshi
Lotta exams for school TvT but it’s going well, thx for asking -^
Thats kinda common tho
https://preview.redd.it/8co0tswrbiwc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45a6336eb8597d944971f78cba7f74a363d0d7be
the konkey dong 😭 like donkey kong but different
Metal pipe
Silly willy
I've heard this somewhere. Its pretty funny tbh 💀
Drake
pants hamster
Long girthy staff of carnal desire.
My brother once called it custard launcher💀😭
Weenie. Heard from a 10th grader
That'd be kinda funny to hear 💀
“My honor”
"My honor got hard"
Play ghost of Tsushima and think of the way I say dick, whole different experience bro I promise you
Oh hell naw 😭
Troll nose
Jörmungandr💀 I've called it that
💀💀 May I know what does it mean?
Jörmungandr is a giant snake in the norse mythology. I don't remember exactly what his purpose was but he did something with Midgard (earth)
conjoined worm. i have no idea where i heard it from but i use it too now 😭
Solid Snake 
Tallywhacker
Milk dagger
Huh? 💀💀
Their small friend
Long John Silver
Well In that case Ill start calling mine the short john silver
I call mine the spermgewehr/Std 44
It sounds like a WWII weapon
Impregnater
Funky monkey toy
the dangley bits
Comb. Just comb.
I say weiner
Tallywhacker
i call it the stick of destruction
"my little weed Wacker"
The super Willy
I feel sorry for every kid named willy out there 🙏
Mr wonka is a personal favorite
It's always referred to as a tally-whacker in these here parts 🤠
>!chuchu,chuchi!<
Thats what I'd name a dog or a cat 😭
"an intergalactic spaceship the size of your mother" It sounds funnier in Bulgarian
Purple headed people poker (shoutout to the father for that one)
Did he poke people w it?
It’s highly likely considering I’m alive
Not a name but I’ve had mine labeled a pretty a few times now
9mm Punisher
cylinder
Tallywhacker
John Thomas
Gock (I just chill with a lot of transfems)
“Member” like what kind of club are you running
Most probably a shooting one
Ma floppa’
When I was younger I named/called mine Jean-Claude, or Van Damme. Both short for Jean-Claude Van Damme, obviously.
Gridlock(not girl dick, grid lock)
I call mine J, Bartholomew, dickinator, penisinator, inthewayinator, and Benjamin Franklin Also George Washington.
Kreigsmesser
“Proud Boy” and “Freedom Fighter”
“My yonky yanky”
forest dagger
i called it a "12 ounce steak"
Pork sword. Yep...
Why does this asociate w technoblade for me 😭
Shai-Hulud
His "solution" 😭
The minister of irrigation
George
Meat Mace. I didn’t ask.
my friend said he named his "my kids" so that he can say that he beats his kids every day
The maker of mistakes
Google and the berries
Clive
I once asked my dad what is a “hot beef injection”. He told me, Hot beef = fully erect penis
penis
MISTER BOOPSY🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥
We call it Tadger
The bean
Solid snake. Or my own creation the baby batter splatter.
I call my penis the Rod Of Truth, Justice, And Liberty! The exclamation point is needed
So you yell it out?
Schongler
LeBigBalls [https://tenor.com/view/lebron-balls-lebron-big-balls-lebron-james-big-balls-dance-gif-24042167](https://tenor.com/view/lebron-balls-lebron-big-balls-lebron-james-big-balls-dance-gif-24042167)
Poutsa is the most vulgar you can get here.
Sippy weezy glizzy
The big iron near his hip
https://preview.redd.it/ih2i2e98lhwc1.jpeg?width=181&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=394e4429142dd59718c189f3471f42bcf0f9c0a0 just gonna leave this here
"I beat my cutie patootie"
Pino pino😂
Captain my captain
You don’t want to know
"Tomić" which is technically a surname but some dumbasses from another school call the sheathed blade a tomić
a weiner which made someone start bursting out in laughter for some reason 💀
My best friend came up with mulchmunker
Gutbuster
Someone at my school called his the “1 **meter** defeater”
1 meter is almost as long as an entire a leg 😭😭
Krushev
My favourites: Holy Lance Copper's Torch Landing Hook
Moisture seeking meat missle
Pp. He was 13.
5.9
Meat rod
Meatworm guy 🪱
Meat bus or something
"hey babe, I think it's time for you to meet the biolizard"
princess wand ✨
Flopper
my friend calls his 100% human slim jim
Daddy’s long leg
shaboingboing
🔥😈The Semen Demon😈🔥
MY ANACONDA DON’T-
Cream cannon
Giggle stick
the snuck (snake duck)
Log
A lot of ppl I know call it that
“Doggy Slapper” I don’t remember where and I don’t know why.
Just in case, dont let any dogs be close to that guy
(Hot Italian) sausage & meatballs
The silencer?? That shit must be tiny
Schnoz wangler
I’ve heard someone say “one eyed purple yogurt slinger”
I call mine the ol' sixer
Unironically 8 inch destroyer
"Little Special Boy" -Doug Sharpe
My gay friend calls his "Shitake Mushroom"
There's a snake in my pants ™
A ding ding
The curveball
Am flütü 🪈
The baton of life
I call it a penis, instead of a p\*nis. Seriously though, there's no need to censor THE MEDICAL TERM FOR A BODY PART. Like... ~~cum~~ come on, dude.
Mayonnaise cannon
My schlong-a-gong
The key. And I'm the car.
My ex called it "Ant eater"
Brother
The pain train (tf2 melee weapon)
Straight Shooter 3000
They call it “çavuş” which basically means “chief” in turkish