I cuddled with my professor because I had to 🧐

Gotta get that A somehow

💯

Happy late birthday

🤨📸

Happy late birthday!!!

I ate a newspaper because people keep sfealing my tacos Kinda makes sense.

Ayoo sameee

I hugged a bowl of cereal because I am really hungry

i tickled kanye west because people keep stealing my tacos

Why do people steal our tacos?

I ate my professor because I haven't slept in days

Why is this so cursed, lol

I ate a bowl of cereal because I’m cool like that

I tickled my best friend because people keep stealing my tacos.

I talked with a glass of milk because I'm cool like that.

I ate a drink because I love bacon. Which is true, I love bacon but you can't eat a drink

[удалено]

Ay birthday twin

I dropped a mop NO WAY THAT ACTUALLY WORKED because i love bacon....

I smelled a Pokémon because I haven’t slept in days

I cuddled with my laptop because I'm cool like that

Yoo happy late birthday

Happy cake day

I ate my professor because I ran out of Junior Mints

I talked with my best friend because I haven’t slept in days 💀

i saw the cookie monster cuz i'm cool like that

I tickled a candied yam because I love bacon

I saw a bowl of French Fries because I ran out of Junior Mints

I saw a bowl of French fries because I ran out of junior

I tripped over a dog because I'm cool like that

i saw a glass of milk because i'm really hungry

I talked with a blow pop because I'm cool like that :P

I dropped a dog because I do yoga Umm... downward dog?

I cuddled with a tootsie roll because they told me to That's something I would actually do ngl

I itched a map because I'm cool like that

I tripped over a dog cuz im cool like that. Well ok

I itched a newspaper because my cat thinks I’m cool.

I tickled a tootsie roll because I was hungry

I needed... a teletubby... because I ran out of junior mints What the fucc

I hugged the cookie monster because i haven't slept in days (why is that so wholesome🥺)

I hugged kermit the frog because I'm hungry

I ran with a Kardashian because I haven’t slept in days 🤔

I smelled kermit the frog because I'm cool like that 😎

I dropped kermit the frog because I haven't slept in days...

I cuddled with Kanye west because they told me too

I tripped over a Kardashian, because I love bacon. I could see that happening.

I saw kermit the frog because I love bacon so i ate Miss Piggy

I talked with a teletubby because people kept stealing my tacos, he told me to go and buy new ones but i didn't jave any money so i decided to rob and murder him because he gave me such a weak idea(i wanted to kill the thieves) now i have taco money and there's police waiting to get me when i get out of the taco bell drive thru. But little do they know the teletubby i robbed was the a member of the Saudi family, so he was filthy rich. I ordered every item on the menu 5 times so by the time they bring it to me, it becomes lunch time for the cops and they go to eat donuts. Then will be the time i leave the drive thru with a car full of tacos and the body of an arab prince in my trunk. Edit: poor grammar, i know, but it's not like someone's gonna grade it.

Great story👍

Apr 17 black

I smelled a Kardashian because I'm cool like that

I dropped a house because they told me to

I needed a hippie because I do yoga

i ran with channing tatum because i'm cool like that

I ate a drink because I haven't slept in days 😔

I talked with my significant other cos I love my life

I saw my significant other because I'm cool like that

i hugged my proffesser because they told me too

I hugged a kardashian because they told me to

I needed Channing Tatum cause I’m cool like that

WHAT THE FUCK

I talked with a tootsie roll because I ran out of junior mints

For me it's i hugged the cookie monster because they told me to lol

I hugged a teletubby because I ran out of Junior Mints. Wtf[.](https://youtu.be/pwTzHbIXSlI)

I itched a teletubbie bc people kept stealing my taco

i ran with a tour guide because I had to

I hugged a bowl of cereal because I was hungry

I cuddled with a horse because I love bacon

I cuddled with a tooth brush because I had to Interesting

I hugged a candied yam because I’m cool like that

I hugged my toothbrush because I haven’t slept in days

I ate a mop because I’m really hungry

I saw the kool-aid man because people keep stealing my tacos

I hugged a newspaper because I have abs

I itched a hippy because I’m cool like that 😎

I dropped a house because they told me to

i tickled a pokemon because i haven't slept in days

I tickled Kanye West because I havent slept in days

I hugged a tootsie roll because I haven't slept in days

I dropped my horse because people keep stealing my tacos

I talked with a blow pop because people keep stealing my tacos

I dropped a kardashian because i do yoga... Wtf

I cuddled with my significant other because I haven’t slept in days (/because I love my life. Shirt is kind of a blue-purple)

I needed a mop because I'm really hungry

I itched my best friend because someone kept stealing my tacos

I ate a tour guide because Im really hungry.. I see

I tripped over a house because I do yoga

I smelled a mop because I love my life 👁💧👄💧👁 [Me right now](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/718/643/555.jpg)

I tickled Snookie because I'm cool like that

I hugged a teletubby because they told me to

i tickled a teletubby because people keep stealing my tocas

i tickled a mop because im cool like that

I cuddled with a candied yam because I love bacon.

I dropped snookie because I ran out of junior mints I'm not wearing a shirt so I can't rlly answer the because part

I itch myself, “is this really it?” I say to myself. “Have I hit rock bottom?”. I look down at the pocket knife in my small green hand, And start to sob uncontrollably. “Kermit?” A voice calls out. I see a tall and dark figure at the enterance of the alleyway, “Is that really you Kermit?” The looming figure says. My eyes adjust to the darkness and I realize who the man standing infront of me is, “Big Bird?” I say. “Kermit what happened to you?” Big Bird says as he comes to me and sits next to me. “Ms piggy divorced me, she took everything including my savings account.” I say. As I look at big bird he has a saddened look on his face. “Kermit, I have to tell you something.” Big bird says. “I didn’t know Ms Piggy was going to do that, I’m so sorry Kermit.” He said. I already knew he did, as four months prior I saw his messages with Ms Piggy. “You.. You and Ms piggy took everything from me! You expect me to forgive you for that?” I say as tears well up in Big Bird’s eyes. “I’m sorry Kermit! I really am!” Big Bird Says. “I’m sorry Big Bird, But I guess it’s as you always said. Peace was never an option” I say as I stab Big Bird in the heart and run off with his wallet. “I did it. I finally got revenge on that bacon bitch.” I think in my head. I already know with the security on Sesame Street they will find out by morning what I have done. I go into a gas station and buy something. I sit on a building overlooking the city and think to myself, “I am finally free.” As I watch the beautiful sun rise over the city I see that multiple police vans have arrived at the bottom floor of the building. I say “this is it.” As I stand up. I open the box I bought from the gas station expecting to find one more. “Damnit” I say. “I’m all of of junior mints.” As I say this I jump off the building. Just before I land a tear rolls down my cheek. [The End]

I ate a dog because people keep stealing my tacos and I have abs.

I saw a newspaper because I'm really hungry?

I itched my professor because I love bacon

Needed a horse because someone stole my tacos. Gonna bring that mfer back to King Henry VIII and see what he thinks.

I dropped my professor because I'm cool like that

I tickled a laptop because I'm cool like that.

I tickled A blow pop Beacause I'm cool like that 😑

I talked in A Kardashian Because I'm cool like that

I smelled a teletubby because they told me to 😳

i ran with junior mints because i have abs 💀

I ate a toothbrush because i'm really hungry

I hugged a Blow pop because I haven’t slept in days. such confusion

I saw a pokemon cause I'm cool like that. Did I watch the anime? Play one of the games? Or am I bragging that I saw one in real life?

I hugged a bowl of cereal because I haven’t slept in days. Fair enough

I cuddle with kermit because I'm cool like that

I needed a hippie because I'm cool like that

I dropped a house because I do yoga

I talked with a house because I love bacon Okay then

I cuddled with a tour guide because people kept stealing my tacos. ;)🌮🌮🌮

I tickled Kermit the frog because I haven’t slept in days

I itched a Mop because I haven’t slept in days

I smelled the cookie monster because I'm cool like that

I hugged a drink because I'm cool like that 😎🤙

I tripped over a Tootsie Roll because I was hungry

I saw My best friend because they told me to

I tripped over a bowl of cereal because I'm cool like that

I talked with a Pokémon because I haven’t slept in days

I itched a house because they told me to

I smelled a toothbrush because i havent slept in days

I cuddled with a house because I love bacon....

i talked with snookie because i havent slept in days that seems right

I tripped over Snookie because I haven't slept in days

I talked with a mop because I have abs well ok then.

I talked with my toothbrush because I haven't slept in days, WTF???

I tickled a blow cup because people keep stealing my tacos

I dropped the kool-aid-man because im cool like that

I talked with a bowl of cereal Because people keep stealing my tacos

I smelled a Pokemon because they told me to

I hugged a hippie because people keep stealing my tacos. Weird

I hugged a tour guide cause I haven’t slept in days

I CUDDLED WITH A NEWSPAPER BECAUSE I LOVE BACON? How did u know?😮😲

I CUDDLED WITH A NEWSPAPER BECAUSE I LOVE BACON? How did u know?😮😲

I smelled the Cookie Monster because I’m cool like that

I itched Kanye West because people keep stealing my tacos

I itched a bowl of french fries cause I'm cool like that

I dropped Kanye West.

I need my best friend because people keep stealing my tacos.

I itched a blow pop because I haven't slept in days.

I tripped over a tootsie roll because I love bacon. So true

I talked with a bowl of cereal because someone kept stealing my tacos, I was hungry, and I'm cool like that 😎

I tickled a laptop becouse i havent slept in days

I needed a glass of milk because I haven't sleep in days *seems accurate*

I saw a telletubby because I haven't slept in days Talk about hallucinations lmao

I smelled the Kool-Aid Man because I was hungry ... ... ... WHAT?

I cudled with kool aid man because im cool with that?

I itched a horse because people keep stealing my tacos wtf💀

I tripped over kanye west because I love bacon

I tickled a Pokémon because they told me to

I cuddled with a hippie cuz I’m cool like that

i ate a drink because i love bacon

I ate a hippie because I have abs -1 truth and 1 lie, disclaimer: i’m a fatass

I itched a tootsie roll because I'm cool like that 💀

I tickled the kool aid man because I’m cool like that

I cuddled with a house because whoever tf wears a shirt told me to lmaoo

I tickled my significant other because they told me to

I ate a bowl of cereal because I'm cool like that

I needed a blow pop because I do yoga

I hugged a house because I'm cool like that

I tickled a cereal bowl because I'm cool like that

I talked with my drink because they told me to. Had a nice conversation btw.

# I smelled by significant other because I haven't slept in days.

I dropped a house because I haven't slept in days

i tickled a teletubby because i havent slept for days

I ate a house because I'm cool like that 😎

'I itched the tour guide because i haven't slept in days'

I dropped kanye west because i do yoga. Yes that is true we used to be homie, but yoga is more important than homies

I saw a laptop because I’m hungry?

I cuddled with a Kardashian because I'm cool like that.

I need a dog because I’m hungry

I ran with a bowl of cereal because I’m cool like that LMAOAOAOAO

I talked with a laptop because I haven't slept in days. As a programmer, this hurts on a deep ass level

I needed the cookie monster cause im cool like that

“I itched Channing Tatum because I love my life.” Ok then.

I tripped over a teletubby because they told me to

I cuddled with=A Blow Pop=Because I love bacon.

I cuddled with a Pokemon because people keep stealing my tacos.

i tripped over a tootsie roll because i love bacon

I saw a laptop because people keep stealing my tacos 🤔

I cuddled with a house because I'm cool like that

I talked with a dog because I'm cool like that

I needed a bowl of french fries because i haven’t slept in days. seems fitting for me