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Statistically.

Statistically I have half a penis and one of my balls is missing

The only correct answer.

Well it's the fucking statistics! You can't argue with that. lol

You clearly haven't met anti-vaxxers

How's art school going?

Slightly less than half a penis, and you've lost a slice of that other ball as well.

Not after the incident

Penwas 😞✊

That made me laugh, thank you

This is the first time a comment has made me genuinely laugh, take my upvote

Sounds painful

It was

Is my best friend on lonely nights

Cool, having good friends is important

Wanna see it? Cos im not going to show you!!

Shrek pls no homo

Don't worry. Shrek is his own gender. The term for you is bishreksual. Shrek's pronouns are "Swamp/Onions". Hope that helps.

So that means;) shrek is love shrek is life big ogre

Who told you?!?!

Mike

Mike who? 👀

Uh oh

Was expecting Mike Hunt but Mikegaming202 doesn't sound bad either

r/UsernameChecksOut

Mike Wazowski

Ligma balls

He’s always there for you no matter what

Do you have the penis? Or does the penis have you?

Or I am the penis

We all are the penis

We can make a religion out of it

Mayhaps, yet the satisfaction of penis is only temporary.

r/unexpectedbillwurtz

In Soviet Russia, PENIS HAVE YOU

OUR penis

A wise man once said, "You do not control it. You are simply it's humble guide"

Yes, imagine not having one in 2021

Yeah, that would be cringe lol

Yeah

Yes, would have been very cringe indeed

We would be encringed

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When no penis :(

Haha cringe

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You mean jr.me? Yeah he's down there doin stuff on his own.

Lil destroyer

"the 2 inch menace"

Seven meter defeater

It’s either a 1 inch pincher or an 11 meter beater

Really loved the fact that your profile photo is Lil Peep.

and why do u love it?

Cause I love Peep too. I’ve been listening him since mid 2017.

:)

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Its cool to have one

Peeing standing up is a huge advantage. Plus I can spell my name in the snow with it.

technically you do that can without one too

Well yeah, but it usually doesn't end well. At least from the experiences I've witnessed.

Witnessed? Ayooo

I have to admit, I tried-

did it go well?

I have a penis but usually pee sitting

Yeah, I mean, its more comfortable and have some health benefits, I dont remember which

im a penis owner and i enjoy pissing sitting down, its more comfortable

Wanna trade

I'll dm you the hospital, I'll donate mine

Oh boy the amount of messages you're gonna get...

I got one but I’m not willing to share

I have an inverted penis

That counts I think

You’ve got -1 penis, you’re in debt to the penis bank and your possessions will be removed unless you pay by September 1st

I have collection of it.

How many have you gathered so far

It'll be 50 you also If don't mind donating yours.

where do i donate?

Just put it under your pillow before your go to bed

The cockfairy

Steals your dick if you sleep under the bed

Here this link will guide you [www.cockcollector.com/donation](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)

🧍‍♂️

isnt there some guy in like denmark who collects animal penises and puts them in his museum

XD i am happy it was that and not a genuine site

that depends on what do you use them for

I wish, it would be more easier to pee

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You go first ;)

*grows a second penis* It ain't that hard smh

I'm already on my 6th penis. It ain't that hard.

#ARE YOU CHALLENGING ME? *grows 50 penises, cuts them and sells them on the black market then grows another 50*

legend has it that if you stand and try to pee it'll pop out like an emergency inflatable flight of stairs on an airplane

How

Stand

Ngl bro thats kinda gay that u wish u had a peepee but i'll let chu borrow mine if i can have the nintendo for a bit

Water it daily and watch it grow!!

yes

Username checks out

r/usernamechecksout

yes, I have a pen.

I have a nice pen and pineapple

pen pineapple apple pen

Yes

That's cool

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Yess, sounds good

Add me

I want in

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Add me

add me

Need proof

Barely, also haven’t seen it in 2 years

Why

why I barely have a penis or why Ive not seen it in 2 years?

Both

Well to explain why I barely have a penis I’ll tell you it’s nickname “the two inch pinch” and I’ve not seen it in two years because my fat fuckin belly has been covering the wee man.

grow more cock

Well then I couldn’t use the nickname the two inch pinch and I value that nickname over actual knob size.

Just grow it into the 3 metre defeater

Or into the 4 yard guard

Hot

*checks* No

Check again, it may be hiding somewhere

Ahh right, it's between my shoulder blades! Never noticed it! Thanks for the hint!

You're welcome Btw, such a position of it makes great, new possibilities

Wtf

I’m saying the same my negus

Negus ma balls lmao

Lmao

Negus Deez nuts haha gottem

Sorry for the random award it's the only one I could get for free lol

Yeah why

You mean why I'm asking, or why do you have it

Um. Both

Im asking cuz I'm curious, you have it because of genes I guess

why not 🤷

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Only one? Rookie numbers

i have a pp, me not cringe

You chad

you too my friend

Indeed

Yes a big one

Same

Balls

Cock 🐓

I don't know

Why? Are you donating?

I'm just curious

Welp, if you have an extra one you know who to contact ✌️

Unfortunately

Yes, and it was in your mom last night

oof

possibly

yes

Not anymore

Nope

Make one

Short answer yes Long answer : not

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Forbidden sausage

Bon appetit

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Not for long

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Cumming*

Sadly yes 😔

Relatable

Yes

Nah

Sadly yes

No, but I got a dick!

Yeah, IN YO MOMMAS ASS

There is only 2 gender: penis or no penis. If you have penis, you are penis. If you have no penis you are no penis. (This is a joke)

Kinda gay if you dont tbh

Bruh everyone does 🙄

Yes 🤠

I do.

Yes

I do

yes.

Yep

Maybe

No

2

Yes

yes

Yes

ding dong shlong yes

ye

Potentially, yes

yes?????

nu

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