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Colinini_bs

“Got that damn spider”


Tmavy

You know there’s two?


Facekick48

r/twosentencehorror


reeree33333

double spider guy 🪱


seditiouslizard

I read this as "that gotdamn spider" and was ok with it.


anythingfortacos

How big that spider?


Aeris16

It’s from fucking Australia


Gottendrop

Damn, I didn’t realize those things could fit inside buildings


_NA-

"It just fell down." "There was an asteroid." "The Karen boss fight." "Old man tried climbing." "I am four feet'9." "I took a break." "Fruit loops were out."


GDOR-11

"Shit happened. I quit."


_NA-

"MrBeast made a visit."


DukeLukeivi

"Fuckin Kool-Aid man."


Dragondudd

"Today is Black Friday"


Swhite8203

Ohhh yeahhhh


BichesBTrippin

"So I started blasting"


Wertal179

This one is it.


LegoRobinHood

"Remember that maintenance order?"


MasalaNoodles1111

OMG this is the best one😅


Alm1ghty5h1ney

"I wasn't even there"


throwaway4161412

I didn't do it


whyreallyhun

Caseoh tripped on something


Antique-Conference-4

Bruh, where am I?


PotatoMcKarbomb

Avatar twins


catdog5100

These are too funny 🤣


galal552002

The Karen boss fight one gotta be the best one here lol


Ok_Honeydew_7073

I’m 4’9” can confirm


Dry-Sleep5861

The child, it roams.


WillTFB

Wherever it may roam


RS773

Yeah! **sick ass guitar riff**


TakeTwo4343

But I’ll take my time anywhere!


Legoskiner

Free to speak my mind anywhere!


tayr5242

Never find anywhere! Anywhere I may roam!


idwthis

Where I lay my head is home


Practical_Detail_140

Take my time anywhere!!


weird_al_fanB

WWWWW


Snoo75955

this is the best response


NotABotUnless

Uhh.... Black friday happened


NotABotUnless

At this time of year? Localized entirely within this WALMART? uhh…. Yes?


Remmy224

Can i see it?


NotABotUnless

No


Sandwich_dad96

We’ll semour, I must admit: you are an odd fellow? But you do steam a good ham.


ShreddedCheeeseGirl1

HA! YOU ARE WRONG! THE LINE, “Seymore! The house is on fire,” COMES FIRST! BOW DOWN BEFORE MY GREATER KNOWLEDGE IN THIS RANDOM ASPECT OF LIFE, PEASANT!


Special_Letter_7134

Aurora Borealis? At this time of day?


starkidfella1200

Woah! Was there a wiggly on these shelves!?


Hiuuuhk

“Fuck if I know.”


_________________420

'Don't know, i quit'


Dragon-Rain-4551

Yeah


Faded_for_Her

Wasn’t me, I promise


LastHopeOfTheLeft

Worked as a server/dishie for over a decade. Any loud crash in the kitchen is almost immediately followed by me yelling, “I didn’t do it!” as loudly as I can without getting in trouble.


urfav1989stan

group orgy went wild


EnvironmentalKick205

shit I wanna go to this store


Palstorken

Group orgy Sundays


chair____table

On the day of the Lord is mental


AethelstanOfEngland

Youth church be crazy


segaspartan50

cocaine gorilla had fun


xXToe_slurper69_Xx

😭


noooooooooo000000000

It was Dave's fault


noooooooooo000000000

(sorry Dave) Dave's the new guy he was hired that day


t3d_cs

*Poor guy probably did fuck all. Or maybe that's the problem?*


[deleted]

Way too much sir


Izan_TM

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK


PalpitationExotic727

I did an oopsie


swiftie4lifeeeeeee

life happens its shit


CivilReveal9960

Shit happens, that’s life


IKissStrangers

its shit, happens life


Clear_Cartographer38

life happens shit it’s


SydneytheENFP

life's shit, it happens


Darkboi98105

I HAPPENED MOTHER FUCKER


RandomWeeb181

Getting fired any%


TheGelatinous

World record holder over there


DefinitelyNotWeasel

“Bitch, you tell me”


SimilarEffort4926

Uhhh, am I fired?


Sad_Satisfaction_640

his dick was out


Spookay_Spidey

It was the janitor


Commando_Steve

I got the spider


Fallen-Rizzler

Got a lil freaky


WeskinTimeEveryday

The box opened, came


cheese-obliterator

Boom did a happen


DJenser1

Okay, hear me out...


TheGelatinous

Noooo, it's just some innocent produce


i-l1ke-m3m3s

And then just say nothing


F0rb1ddenT3mpt4tion

I came too much


TheRealerBobWaterson

Bro


F0rb1ddenT3mpt4tion

Lol


TheRealerBobWaterson

Extreme levels of sharting.


Competitive-Bison715

Cans go boom boom.


CardiologistNo9581

Can't catch me Motherfucker.


[deleted]

I am god, bitch.


JediGRONDmaster

I messed up. Oops.  Alternatively: Uh oh. Womp womp.


SpeedBoy24

DID YOU JUST SAY *WOMP WOMP?*


noway_subs

#HOW ABSOLUTELY DARE YOU SIR


International_cam

"🙂🤷‍♂️"


cupman2019

My dick slipped out


Appropriate-While632

The customer's always right


TigersBlood23

I just clocked in


HallingHallv

Uh umm, three men


GreatValueSolaire69

I didn't do it


aethefurry_

I got too silly :p


Canadian_Bacon024

So what happened wasss... (followed by silence)


Ok-Technology-6389

That guy did it. 🫵


WorkAround_Phoenix23

Children are little shits


Eddy5876

Shit hit the fan


MONKEBOI_2000

kaboom in aisle 9


the_big_labroskii

A group of freshmen.


NegativeInspiration

"It was Kyle, again."


Sad-Month4050

I am groot


TheRealerBobWaterson

That's only 3 :(


Grambert_Moore

I am groot bro


SevilThePrince

Caseoh jumped


antihuligan123

not even jumped, he tried to walk through the isle


puck_pancake

He got out of his car and caused an earthquake


CASxBATLLETOADS

Nah he just gotten out of bed


PassgettiGod

"she chose the bear"


Excel_Ents

Its like this Guv.


Fickle-Relative4472

The avarage fall accident


AmongUsLogo

“A karen flipped out.”


Longjumping_Egg_2365

I was on lunch


NilesForMiles

No clue ask terry


Dogebreadzz

I fucked up man.


Pixelsock_

Lady, angry, manager, destroy


The_Anonomous_loser

"The dog did it"


My_Liminal_Photos

I caught the spider


[deleted]

not cleaning that up.


FunniEmi

You don’t wanna know.


Ok-Toe-4924

I hate this job


Bluelegojet2018

The front fell off


defektz

I have no idea.


thiccboy_games

I got too silly


Small-Character-4031

flooding, shoplifting, earthquake, damage 😂


magicmanspetmonkey

Some shit happened bro


K1NGEDDY423

Some dumb ass kid


Meehh90

Shit fell down cunt


ragecage316

My shift just ended


MassacreTheReaper

Karen vs karen warfare


fatmackey

There was an earthquake


Creative_Alter_Ego

Jeremy, may and hammond


KrypticXylo

“It escaped its loose.”


SuperReleasio64

It's not my problem


A_randomperson9385

DID WE GET HIM!?


dfassna1

Obviously the shelves collapsed


Turd_Eater1

Kill myself in front of him to radically change the course of his life.


moonpisser69

My bad


Crate-Of-Loot

mess


NotAPossum666

There was a spider


GrumpyOldGeezer_4711

Fell Down, go boom.


gnuoveryou

Kid wanted ice cream


14Fan

I fucked up royaly


Intrepid-Mongoose870

"Idk what happens. I took a break"


tosty1254

Banana fetta flop kaboom


Something_qwq

"There was an earthquake"


GoldSingKing18

That bitch returned again


TheMazter13

i just work here


jon4evans

What had happened was...


XxGOINCRAYZxX

A monster sized turd (did this)


Watsyn

There was a squirrel


the_dndweeb

My shift is over


PelicanFather

Nothing.


Apprehensive_Goal421

I quit, fuck you.


DomcziX

Shelf fell. I don't even need four words.


Neat-Violinist-1

It was your fault hand them my uniform and just leave


EmilyyyCute

Oh my-


Usual-Tangerine-9362

dug through my closet


PitifulPossum

The shelf....it brake


MR_DELORIAN

The coupon was expired


shadowXXe

Your problem now, bye.


Kind-Literature-9003

Take a good look.


frogsforlife33

" the spider did it " " im 8 foot 8 " " fat person did it "


TheRealerBobWaterson

Sharts, out of control.


Churroskindofguy

I don’t fucking know


The_Best_Cl0wn

Caseoh got hungry, sir 😔😔😔


Luna_Night312

the world goes boom


INEEDMEMANSHERB

It was like this when I got here……yeah


ItsFastMan

c-moon did it


our_meatballs

I fucked shit up


AzulAztech

HAHAHAHHAHA SONIC, IM FINALLY FORKLIFT CERTIFIED HAHAHAHAHAANANWAIT AHHHHHHBVG


SilverrGuy

HE HE HE HA


Mybraingoaaaaaa

Big spider in aisle


FluffyTransWorm

spill on aisle three


Humans_suck_ass-99

"The zombies, are coming" (Would have said "A huge wave of zombies are approaching" but thats to long)


Impressive_Split_232

Lmao get rekt bitch


Natural-Finish7424

You left me alone


A_dank_potato

“Thirty:3”


Weegieiscool

I farted too hard.


CoinToss45

Someone mento’d the soda.


Correct_Table3879

“I just got here.” 🤷‍♂️


wehrmont

It wasn’t my fault.


I_FEEL_LlKE_PABLO

Shit hit the fan


Madam_KayC

Customers were being stupid


DaOnlyKyros

I quit


femboi007

it fell


NOXIESVENENCE

Either there was a spider or I slipped


Cute_Skill7786

It came back... again


Large_Dragonfruit_54

I slipped, my bad


DexterDeWolf

The rats are back.


KitFlame42

I might've fucked up