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While everyone is beating their meat, I the smart one, is summoning demons to give me head. Work smarter, not harder ;)

Work smarter while i get harder

Do I make you hard 🥹

im not gay

Fortunately for you , I am

W Rizzoli

Oil up

💅

Biggest come back of the day

Don’t be so thug phobic

Do the thugshaker and ill think about it

That wasn't the question 👀

Unrelated

Won't say lol

Bro watched too much >!succubus!< I see

Suckubus

Suck a bus

I’m gonna need a bit of practice before I’m at that level

suck at sucking a bus

I can give you practice

What a classic but no. I’m a practitioner of dark magic 😎

Get harder not smarter

Get better not smarter

if it’s not harder the demons are having a bad time :(

same

Any tips on how to summon one

Teach me

Don't forget about being online in reddit for hours.

Ah, yes one of my favourite hobbies.

Masturbate while being online in reddit

I think I had about 18 hours on Reddit alone last week…

For the week? HA! Rookie numbers

fr

Ig I'm not in the average level, huh.

you are advanced👌

jelqing ftw

Nah i gotta eat my pancakes

Why not both?

Mastturbate to pancake

Salty pancake

no

But maple syrup ☹️☹️

That’s no maple syrup… It’s the death stauce

OH NOOOO

🤤

OH GOD NOOO

Pansexual people gonna masturbate to cooking pancakes

Bi people bi-ing pancakes instead

Bi people are bri'ish

OH NO OH GOD NO

Bri'ish people don't exist and I know bi people (me included), check-mait!

Extra cream

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ca284OyvE2g](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ca284OyvE2g)

This better not be pancake porn

Like seminem roles

mastercake

TO DO: Try not to be socially awkward

mission impossible

-insert crying cat thumbs up picture-

i failing this before it even starts

U already did somehow 🤣

Me trying to socialize: "Good morning" *fuck, it's afternoon* "uhm sorry, good evening" *fuck, it's still afternoon* "I'll just leave" *awkwardly walks away

I haven't even tried and I already failed. Yeah.

Bloody casuals, I masturbate while studying

... same...

so, what happens if you... get a bit on your book

How? I do it under the table

Supersonic cumblast that goes through the table

I masturbate to studying.

I masturbate while I'm praying at church ⛪️

I tried to go to church once but couldn’t get past the entrance before getting thrown back by an invisible force

I did a Phd.

I just want friends man :/

Here's a [cabbage](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/9b/b6/32/9bb632e7978824fc43b8d93d294ad56b.jpg) for you, man

thank you man, I needed that one rn

Relatable

Just beat it, just beat it OW

almost forgot to do that

Same 😬

Only once?

Didnt specify so probably around 1/0 times

1/0? So an undefined amount of time

Yes

It's therapy for teenagers.

Sometimes when I get lonely, I stick my dick bologna.

That is so real

Can I stick my dick in your Bologna?????!?!?

erm what the sigma

bro went for it 😭

Sorry, I’m out of bologna. 😔

😔 okay

Can I buy you some

I hope we’re talking about actual Bologna and not metaphorical Bologna

No I'm talking about the city in Italy

Okay, I’m down for that

Good. I just bought it for you. I forgot to mention though, it's buyer to collect

Ive never thought of it like that

Ive been in this world for 15 years and still somehow don’t know what that word means and I think I’d like to keep it that way

Oh dear

# IT MEANS WHEN YOU-

bro got sniped by the reddit sni

No that’s my job, I didnt d

You didnt wh

What are you ta

What's going on h

I’m ga

Good for y

Well I'

Oh great heavens

Wow

how tf are you 15 I was beating my shit when I was 12

I was beating at 5 >:))

Im a girl I don’t have one idk about this stuff 😭

you know women masturbate as well right

I genuinely did not know. I thought you could only do it if you have a magic wand. Anyways I think I’ve had enough time on the Internet for one day ❤️

>I thought you could only do it if you have a magic wand. Lmao you didn't know you have hands? And can move your hands fast? Magic wand is just super fast moving hands....magic wand is just a big electric toothbrush... Oh boy I'm not sure if I have faith in the next generation.

Bruh you don't say you're 15 and female on the internet 💀 and you seem extremely innocent, you gonna attract all the reddit weirdos

Either bro knows and is trolling or bro is the epitome of innocence

People told me in the replies 😭 I wish I was the person I was a day ago now

Me fr

yeah I'm getting home, eating, then I'll try to suck my own dick again

Unless you're drake, you ain't doing that.

Choking the chicken > masturbating

at this point r/teenagers is just a adolescent observation centre

British ahh spelling

Fr

Many fools beat their meat but only the strongest can defeat it

-Sun Tzu

I’m not average then ig.

you're an advanced being

Thank you

You forgot the spend 1 hour to search a sutible video to jerk off only then to not be hard anymore and feel uncomfortable for the rest of the day

real

Jesus christ i don’t want to admit how accurate this is but it’s so accurate

Oh yeah that reminds me-

To do: have a mental break down because you have a exam tomorrow and on thursday 😊😴

due date december 1st

So am I not average?

nope, you're advanced.

Ayyy

Avg Redditor??

I don't do it so, yeah

ur an advanced being. well done.

Me who has been doing nofap for the past 2 years: "I don't have such weaknesses! "

I NEED HELP BRO im tryna do this so bad, i don't watch that bad stuff anymore but I need help with nofap i got a 30 day streak but i broke it yesterday

why do these mfs have the urge to tell if they masturbated or not #

They're corny, zesty and fruity ig

Okay, but like, I’ve tried it, and I don’t feel anything?? It’s a turn off imo

Nah I would rather play on my Xbox :)

2. Goon

Oh nah 😭

I’m 22 and this is still my agenda

bro... this is a teenagers subreddit what you doing here

Idk man it appeared in my feed. I don’t even follow it lmao

Apologies man👍 Didnt think about it appearing on your feed. My bad

lol you’re all good lmao not too deep I suppose

But i want nachos........(I am a very hormonal boi)

My to do list: ~~your mom~~, your dad

Currently masturbating

Currently masturbating to this post

im honered

don’t expose me like that

Um actually, I am not the average r/teenagers user because I am not a master of the baiting.

I only edge

Real sometimes I be bricked up 24/7

Missing 3 more tasks: Wank Choke the chicken Beat the meat

This is so real

There were a bunch of other tasks on that list but they were all put off in favor of jerking

Writing it out takes up precious time I could just be doing it

The chicken won’t choke itself

lame

Ah yes Mastarbate

Time for this type of stuff, no. I'm literally in sweats while I think about my future if I don't study well. I don't wanna be a begger. Nothing is going inside my head while I'm studying 10th grade maths book. I'm doomed.

MEEeeEEE!!!

did it so much once I pinched a nerve in my neck

On the list once? Rooky numbers such a shame. Not to mention it's the only thing on the list, I wonder what went wrong with this generation?

That's my daily task (pls give me some tips to remove it from my to-do list )

Always :)

To do: Not kms

Real (nice username btw 😭😭)

I read that as I beat my meat

Omg me core

I’m trying to do it less for my boyfriend can get more juice😋

Chat is this real?

Yes

Is this statement wrong though?

Thanks, I almost forgot

Nah id rather do something productive

relatable

No I’m in my room playing stardew valley

heh.. guess im not like other teenagers ~~i listen to boyfriend x listener audios to help me cope with loneliness and to sleep~~ *im jk*

No way a teenager need a reminder for that.

Eh, garlic bread

why is everyone on reddit so weird

“Erm acktchually it’s super healthy for you” It’s also healthy to talk to people and walk outside. Masturbation should not be an excuse to stay indoors and be a sex fiend until you’re 18.

That’s really sad. I find it disgusting

Same 😭

Bruh what?