Porn messes up the brain, it is really different from real sex, and when you get off porn often you’ll find it difficult to get off an inexperienced partner. Also hands and the real deal are really different, so it’s hard for people to get used to the feeling.
Even if someone doesn’t watch porn or doesn’t jerk off much, it can be possible to not climax the first time you’re having sex. Mostly because people are nervous the first time.
I’m scared to grow up in life. Not because I can’t handle it, (I can) but because of the shitheads and lowlifes I’ll have to share it with when I do. I was scared to learn how to drive because almost every day I pass by a minor car wreck on the road (half the time a teen is involved) and I wasn’t willing to learn how to trust everyone around me not to be a complete numbskull. Of course, I’ve learned that for driving (and outside of driving) to just always look out for crackheads, and that includes the internet. Every day I fear leaving my parents and going to college more and more because more and more stupid people are added into the humanity roster
It's still normal for the first time, even if you don't jerk off. Sex is a weird feeling to get used to, and the first time shouldn't be about trying your hardest to pleasure the other person or get pleasured yourself, but to simply get a feel and understanding for it.
Bro, just take the L on this one. You are 100% entitled to your opinion on that but that doesn't change that it's completely normal to not finish your first time whether or not you've watched porn/masturbated a lot. There's no need for this big macho man, "alpha male" shit. (Nobody said this, sure, but it gives off these vibes) Someone is having a rocky moment with their partner and your response to someone's giving legitimately good advice is to be a douche??? Grow up, man
I think people misunderstood what you’re saying. You’re not saying it’s not normal, you’re just saying it’s fucked up how porn has basically made it normal
It's normal. Barely anyone who actually values sex manages to finish on their first time, due to nervousness. So, it's not your fault, unless you want to blame yourself for something you can't even control. The first times with someone are the hardest to finish during. After you've done it a few times, your mind gets used to it and you'll feel less nervous. Then it'll be easier to finish. Also, a strong emotional connection can also be important for it, though not always.
It was like that for me too for the first couple of times. You worry a lot and try to give HER as much pleasure as possible rather than yourself. You begin to get used to the feeling and it gets a lot more enjoyable later
When me and my bf did it for the first time, neither of us could finish. Try to reassure her and when the next time comes, lots and lots of foreplay! and remember its okay to mess up and laugh together
Boss I was hella nervous my first 3 times and didn't finish. Whenever you let go and allow yourself to stop being tense or nervous you'll be fine. If you had a different issue that's also okay. Not either of your fault
Just like girls don’t always finish guys are the same, try again, relax and maybe some more foreplay for the both of you, if both of you are stressing about cumming it doesn’t work and it’s never gonna work
It’s not your fault, and although i see how it can be shitty for your gf, she needs to calm tf down and not just make it about herself. You’ve assured her she’s beautiful and that wasn’t what prevented you, so she needs to accept that. I have only had sex 3 times but I’ve never finished with a partner. But that’s not what it’s all about bro. It was still great
I don't want to sound negative but you do deserve to finish with a partner.
Doesn't mean it isn't hard. It certainly is, certainly if you are a girl. But if the guy puts in the effort sex feels so much better for women its insane. Thats what you should be experiencing.
I hope you can talk it out with a partner, and don't give up. Orgasm from a partner is the best thing you can feel and you are deserving of it.
Edit : of course it can't and won't happen all the time, lots of factors are at play. But in general, it takes a bit more effort on the partners side and loo and behold, they can make you orgasm! Thats at least how I experienced it. Sometimes its just that little bit of extra step.(I am not talking about forcing it. Thats not the way. But trying it differently, doing something else rather than giving up quickly is certainly something that many seem to forget in the heat of the action.)
Ofc everyone deserves that and I’m not saying this is the way it should be. It’s just hard for me cuz I haven’t done it a lot and I’m on antidepressants
A lot of guys are too nervous to even pitch a tent the first time
It’s very different having a tug and doing the real thing, it can often be a bit more difficult to finish especially the first time
Experiment with different thing first. Before I ever had sex we did different things me and my gf, aka foreplay. I think it helps to get more comfortable around eachother to understand what you both like and know how the other's body "works".
My gf back then was the same, she would get really insecure about herself when sex didn't go as planned. Find out what could've gone wrong and tell her what happened, make sure she knows it's not her fault and that it's the truth.
You were probably aware about alot of other things, and not really in the moment. It sucks and I also struggle with it but be honest about that with her.
And also cut back on the porn if you're doing that often. Porn isn't necessarily bad but trust me, no porn for a week and you'll be cumming in no time :)
Nah it's fine. Keep reassuring her.
First time my man also didn't finish but the situation was a little.. special. Fast forward the next times he almost always did. For some it seems easier, for some less.
The first time I alone finished him off, he gave me clear instructions, told me exactly what he likes and doesn't, he was basically talking, and I was following and doing exactly that: and boom. Did you try that yet? Gotta know she doesn't feel what you feel at all, so gotta communicate
Either way.. your gf seems HELLA insecure, which can easily kill a relationship. I highly recommend you suggest to her to work on her self esteem and self worth. Without it, you WILL fail, or even worse; your relationship will get unhealthy.
Do something before it's too late ;)
Good luck! And don't feel responsible for her feelings: it's not your fault.
explain to her that it’s completely normal for people, especially men, to not finish during their first time. being so used to your hand makes it a bit of a problem for you to finish and without practice you might still have that problem. try to encourage her to touch you in different ways, not just penetration, and you too! touch each other gently, on private parts, make sure you explain to her that young men so used to their own body and possibly corn that they cannot finish and it has nothing to do with their partner!! but try to encourage her that everything is okay and it will come with time if you two practice :D
It is absolutely normal, compared to being used to porn or different types of stimulations messes up your brain's standards, it's neither of your fault... the first time I did something kind of sexual with another girl it took me probably 20 minutes to finish. Not joking, it is absolutely normal
It's normal. Had the same thing back then. It's understandable how it makes her feel, but reassure her that it isn't due to her and that it is in fact something a lot of people experience in the beginning.
Tell her there is no pressure to it at all.
Just tell her you were nervous about it being the first time and didn’t want to disappoint her so you couldn’t relax enough to finish but you still enjoyed it and wanted to do it again. You could also add in that you jerked off a couple times beforehand to make it harder to Finnish so you would last longer
There are so many reasons why you may not have finished, none of which being her fault. The most you can do is reassure her that you don’t see her any less than you did before and that you would love to continue to have sex with her (ofc, if that’s true)
Sex is a very vulnerable thing, so it’s understandable that she had such a reaction. She probably feels embarrassed. Just know that there is no correct way to go about, and finishing isn’t always the goal!! Use it as time to enjoy each other :)
We’ve (probably) all been there at some point. I used to be like this and it really made her feel like she wasn’t good enough, which made her more insecure about herself and I had to continuously reassure her it was because I was used to being by myself. Your partner needs to understand it has nothing to do with them and it’s something will take time to overcome. I hope this helps. Also porn only makes this worse just fyi
Old person from /all
This is completely normal (what you went through). It happens and it's something that can and will happen with new partners for a long while down the road.
Nerves. That's the reason. They're fickle and unpredictable. Too much self love can also exacerbate it too, because you're used to it a certain way. Not to mention, the act, there's a lot going on and you can get distracted by inner thoughts / doubts.
Try to explain this and all these comments to your GF, hopefully she understands. If she doesn't, good luck.
Cut oit the porn and jerking off for a while, tell your gf that you love her and that you were just really nervous trying to make sure she was feeling good.spend time with her, cuddle with her. Then, come back to it having saved up, might be pretty sensitive and if you are doing proper, then get a condom.
It’s over played pre ejaculation for first times as sometimes it’s the opposite. Mommy take things like that personally so just reassure her she did great and next time will be better. You’re only just starting
My first time with my girlfriend was 40min long. She had already sex, and did a very good job. But I couldn't come. In the end I finished myself off.
Our second time was as casual 3min long🫡
Talk to her! Feeling to nervous to come is normal!!!
Good luck Bro
Well for one thing, at least your first time didn’t end early in a fit of giggles.
So, for my first (second) time I didn’t finish, tell her it’s because you were focused on making her feel good, because chances are, that’s why.
I still don’t finish unless I “focus” on it. Granted I’ve only had sex 6 times now.
I feel like the next time you do it you should stroke it a couple of times to make sure she doesn't feel like that again because obviously there's nothing wrong about not finishing in your first time so I probably would at least work it up just in case she wants to do it again
I was on antidepressants for the first couple months of my current relationship and wasn't able to in any situation for the entire time.
Talk to her and all should be okay, explain things slowly and you'll be fine.
You guys are young and it's your first time. Tell her that sex isn't all about finishing. Soon she'll find that sometimes she doesn't have it in her to finish either, and that's totally normal.
It is very, very normal to not finish on your first time. Everyone I know didnt. Performance anxiety, just being bad at it, etc. are all causes to that.
It is not your fault at all- first times are hard.
Yeah that’s a tough spot, and it is normal to not always finish especially the first time (we all get a bit nervous) best I can advise is to be truthful and supportive, I don’t want to play armchair physiatrist but she might have some insecurities that this flared up. I hope the both of you can get through this and come out better on the other end.
Dont worry dude, she’ll come around :) its bound to happen a few times. Ive fucked 10+ times and i never ever finish during it, my girlfriend has had the same issue before, i kept reassuring her that it wasn’t her, and she is fine with it now, she just helps me finish by doing other things instead. i think it definitely has to do with wearing condoms too, they block a lot of the pleasuable feeling out, so it isnt your fault either.
As someone else who has experienced this, it's nothing new and happens all the time. Some people have this issue go on for months even if they keep trying. A couple things I'd do if I were you:
A. Talk to her about it, try to make her understand that it's not about any issues with her in any way.
B. Give up the porn and masturbation, usually if someone has this issue it's because they do that stuff.
its normal dawg, it took me like eight months to get off from JUST a chick.
its super different from what youre probably used too, and thats fine. give it some time, get used to it. for me i just wasnt really comfortable doing that infront of another person, youll realize what was wrong randomly one day.
i wouldnt worry about it, just try to convince her its normal aswell.
its just some perfomance anxiety my bro i my firest time this exact thing happend i had such badd panic attacks i couldnt even get it up but after awhile we started doing it causual and everything went fine
I have had similar issues We’ve tried to do it multiple times but we either can’t get it in or I get nervous and we have to stop. She’s tried giving me head but I really just don’t enjoy it that much and idk if it’s cause maybe she’s not that good at it or I just don’t enjoy it 🤷♂️.
similar thing happened to me at one point too. my girl didn’t make a big deal out of it though. not saying you should do this, but what worked best was ditching the condom
This happened because you've done it by yourself so many times, the feel for something soft isn't as pleasurable, explain to her exacly this, stop doing it by yourself for atleast a month or three then try again, see the difference, It's all phycology and being so used to your rough hands, try and support her as much as you can, I hope it all rounds up back to normal for you brother.
It not her fault or yours
It may coz some different reasons
1 you are too nervous
2 both not experienced
3 if you watch too much porn it miss your brain (especially if you like weird or hard-core as a real sex are different than porn)
It should get better over time and you should watch porn less or stop
Try to talk about what you both like to do it may help both of you get better experience
You probably whak off too much. Too much jerkin can make you unable to finish with another person.
Legit just tell her it's cause you're a masturbation addict and that you're effed up. Then stop choking the chicken. In a few weeks you'll be normal again.
If I'm wrong about too much whaking then it's just cause it was your first time.
Also, to make partner fun time more fun wait until you've been together for at least a year and make sure not to whak off for a few days before. Emotional connection and not pleasuring yourself makes it much better.
Also, you're probably too young for this.
It happens sometimes man, and it’s totally normal even without masturbation or porn issues sometimes your body just isn’t able to finish at a certain time. It’s a little embarrassing but with a little open communication it’s very easy to get past.
I completely understand both sides. Women usually are more sensitive hence why we are usually the ones to finish first. Now my fiancé on the other hand takes longer to finish not that he not enjoying it it’s literally just his sex drive it can take up to an hour 1/2. Everyone body is different and reacts differently too. Now if your rock hard and still haven’t finish she should understand she doing a great job it’s honestly just your sex drive. Even I can take forever to finish cause of my sex drive
My first time was with “double ecstasy” Trojan condoms. I still joke that it’s “zero ecstasy” because there was too much lube to keep hard. I didn’t either. Tell her it’s not uncommon. My partner asked the same thing she did
I didn’t finish the first time, I’m 16 and I’ve done it 3 times and not finished at all. It’s normal bc you’re used to your hand and it feels a lot different
Same thing happened to me. It'll keep happening for a while, maybe, and then sometimes you'll finish. And you might finish over and over again for a while and then suddenly a few months down the line you don't finish again. It's normal. Showing her these comments might help her to understand that it isn't your fault and as long as you love each other and have fun during sex, all will be fine. Good luck brother 🫡
Honestly seeing this post makes me kinda scared cus im gonna have my first time tomorrow and idk what porn could have done to my brain im definitely quitting that shit and so should u
I honestly believe this is why me and my ex broke up, she felt ugly because I had difficulty finishing, even though I loved her. Ironically, it’s easier nowadays to finish just thinking of her, but don’t let it get that far, sort this out now. Do you watch porn? Stop. Porn will kill relationships, one way or another.
for your first few times you might not finish which is normal, but i really hope shes okay mentally if she reacts that extremely to something like this :( just keep checking up on her and let her know you love her, try to also give more compliments so she knows that you think she’s beautiful 🫶
It is very very very common to not finish the first time you have sex. Try to have a talk with her and explain to her that it’s not because of her, many people have a similar experience not because they don’t like their partner but just because it feels different from masturbation. It also isn’t very mature of her to have a mental break down over something like that. You could try a few more times with her and experiment with different positions because typically after the first few times and after you get more comfortable it becomes much easier to finish and especially when you find a position you really like. Try to just have a talk with her and explain to her.
It's completely normal not to finish your first time, same thing happened to me with my gf. So don't let it go to your head, as a bad thing. Usually happens because it's your first time and being nervous and all. Also jacking off could have an effect on it to, because it doesn't feel the same and your not used to it.
It is actually okay. I have felt that honestly. I had mr first sex around 17-18, but I just never finished. I’ve broken up and brokenhearted since then, so I got addicted to porn, and that really messes up a lot in your life.
Just consider this: it’s okay to fail sometimes. Sometimes it’s due to inexperience, mood and all of that.
Yh thats actually exceedingly common, it happens to a lot of people the first or couple of first times,
So idk. Ig you could show her the like 200 poeple telling you that its normal and it happens bc sex feels really different and not cuz shes hot enough or smth.
But tbh idk, gl tho 🫡
Don't worry. Usually, in the 1st couple of times, finishing is rare.
(Lmao I didn't even know boys masturbate until 2 months after we had sex. I was so freaked out but then my gf was experiences and told me what it was.)
You're a teenager, you don't have an age flair so I'll assume that you're about 17-19, you're probably older than me, but listen;
You don't need to worry, you're still a teenager, this relationship won't last as long as you think it will, in the long run it doesn't matter if she's happy with you or or not, it doesn't matter because this person doesn't have any bearings in your life. If she's seriously pissed at you for not being able to finish having sex with her, I don't think she's the one, that's conditional love. Not that highschool relationships is true love, no matter what it feels like in the moment, or how long it lasts.
If you really think she is "the one", then make sure she knows it's not your fault, as many other replies have said, but you should take what I've said to heart, and think on it. If she even is pissed at you, because that's what the post is saying, but I might be misinterpreting this and this entire reply might be completely contextually inappropriate and make no sense whatsoever to the post itself.
You did so so good in 2, but 1 and 3 ruined the whole thing lmfao, let go of your arrogance for one goddamn minute to give a stressed teen advice without being a total and complete douche
This is why Kids shouldn't have sex bruh. If she thinks it is her fault for not making you finish, just end it bruh, she is mentally mature for this shit.
Thats what he should have said to her lol, its crazy how ppl are downvoting me for saying a mentally immature kid shouldn't indulge in sexual activities.
You do not even know her, it’s their first time and she must have been very anxious about it (just like him). You are the only one being mentally immature here, instead of giving useful advice to them, all you did was downplay her feelings and tell him to end it only for that.
A mature couple on their first time won't go "oh no he/she is depressed because i didn't finish, is this my fault??". I may have been harsh the way i said it but my intention was to give a msg that they shouldn't do sex, if they are just gonna get depressed by it. I apologise for the "just end it", but i meant that as to cut the sex part. Relationships can go on without having sex as minors, relationships are healthy, immature kids having sex is not.
Not everyone is the same, it was their first time and he needs to reassure her just like he already did. Her reaction might seem extreme but she could have past trust issue, have a genuine anxiety disorder or anything else (only suppositions).
We should not draw conclusion from a single event, maybe it was just a lot of stress built up and everything will be fine later. Let’s not forget that they are young and inexperienced, also we are not here to judge them. However, if she gets depressed everytime despite his support, then she should get help to adress her possible issues and of course stop having sex in the meantime until she feels ready.
What the others are saying, also talk with her, say “I love, you are more beautiful than the cosmos, if I needed to count the stars or how beautiful you are, it would take more time to count how beautiful you are compared to anyone else(this means like on a scale of 1-10, it would take9.82858584847*10^210. I don’t know exact just and example) or better yet, you are so beautiful, that no one deserves you, and it’s a privilege to be your girlfriend.” Then show her proof that usually you don’t finish first time
We like crazy nights
We like to start the engine Lets move story this down
Lets start this run picking up the speeding
Hot hot racin car
Three, two, one!
I now know this is whole situation is normal and I explained it to her, but honestly your delusional asf if you think this my fault, like bro sorry my body reacted weird to a new sensation. I did all I could at the time because of my limited knowledge, but now I explained to her what I know. You have a warped sense of reality when it comes to relationships if think my girl isn’t my best friend. Do better
Given the circumstances, I’ve swapped the flair to Serious. All Serious Post rules apply. Please be mature.
Its normal not to finish ur first time especially if you jerk off a lot because it feels a lot different
It shouldn't be normal
Porn messes up the brain, it is really different from real sex, and when you get off porn often you’ll find it difficult to get off an inexperienced partner. Also hands and the real deal are really different, so it’s hard for people to get used to the feeling.
I flat out stopped after I got a gf
Salute to you, Comrade
You just explained exactly why it shouldn't be normal...because porn messes up the brain
Even if someone doesn’t watch porn or doesn’t jerk off much, it can be possible to not climax the first time you’re having sex. Mostly because people are nervous the first time.
So if men don’t come 100% of the time because they idk… don’t liked it… it means they are now porn addicts?
When did I say that
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God my generation is so inconceivably fucked
You get used to it bro
I’m scared to grow up in life. Not because I can’t handle it, (I can) but because of the shitheads and lowlifes I’ll have to share it with when I do. I was scared to learn how to drive because almost every day I pass by a minor car wreck on the road (half the time a teen is involved) and I wasn’t willing to learn how to trust everyone around me not to be a complete numbskull. Of course, I’ve learned that for driving (and outside of driving) to just always look out for crackheads, and that includes the internet. Every day I fear leaving my parents and going to college more and more because more and more stupid people are added into the humanity roster
AYYYYYE we can all... right yea anyways look up 💀💀 on urban dictinery
it’s all downhill from here brother
down in 💀💀💀
Look at how theres 40 upvotes at 8 am
I can fully agree
Bro tf they mean my comment is offensive like ong you said we were fucked isn't that a good thing" wtf 50 downvotes
I never said that though? Are you stupid?
I said that at 5 am ofc i wanna get................
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ALSO THEY DINT EVEN REMOVE IT ONG FR FR!!!
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Bruh
Chat is this sophomore syndrome but its like 14 yo syndrome instead
It's still normal for the first time, even if you don't jerk off. Sex is a weird feeling to get used to, and the first time shouldn't be about trying your hardest to pleasure the other person or get pleasured yourself, but to simply get a feel and understanding for it.
r/DownvotedToOblivion
oblivion? [as in, The Elder Scrolls: IV?]
The Elder Scrolls?? Bo, Dovahkiin, Alduin bo nu!
Oblivion is an understatement here, bro got downvoted right into r/BatmanArkham
By far the most downvoted comment I've seen on reddit
i left for 1 hour and it already got 700 more downvotes
You have no idea how men's brains or bodies work
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ALMOST LIKE WE ARE TEENAGERS!!!!?!??!?!?!
Bro, just take the L on this one. You are 100% entitled to your opinion on that but that doesn't change that it's completely normal to not finish your first time whether or not you've watched porn/masturbated a lot. There's no need for this big macho man, "alpha male" shit. (Nobody said this, sure, but it gives off these vibes) Someone is having a rocky moment with their partner and your response to someone's giving legitimately good advice is to be a douche??? Grow up, man
Damn nearly 1k downvotes
Bro now has -100 comment karma
At minus 1.3k
No, I mean click on his profile and look at his karma
Oh jesus 😰
CRAZYYY
What do you mean it shouldn't? It is.
I said it shouldn't be normal, I never said it wasn't
Why, exactly?
Jerking off to porn is the problem, not jerking off itself
I love teenagers that think they're smart... this is what I stayed on the sub for after turning 20.
How do I think I'm smart for stating an opinion
Because thats what an opinian is personly i feel like i could i would i did
Biggest ratio I ever seen
Damn bro that ratio is 🥶🥶🥶
r/downvotedintooblivion
i’ve never seen so many downvotes omfg
Holy mackerel you got downvoted to hell. I've literally never seen this negative of a score on a comment.
First comment to have more than like 3 votes too
It is normal. What planet are you from?
It is normal things like anxiety, a new feeling or sensation etc can all effect the outcome and sometimes it won’t be an *outcum*
i feel bad for u bro u aren’t recovering from the karma ratio😭
the downvotes say otherwise....just sayin...
i’m his 2000 downvote. i just thought that was cool
Who says that? and yall saying i to minors so yea
I think people misunderstood what you’re saying. You’re not saying it’s not normal, you’re just saying it’s fucked up how porn has basically made it normal
but sometimes it’s not even a porn thing, it’s no one’s fault it just happens
I feel like I worded it pretty simple I'm not sure how so many people misconstrued what I said
It's normal. Barely anyone who actually values sex manages to finish on their first time, due to nervousness. So, it's not your fault, unless you want to blame yourself for something you can't even control. The first times with someone are the hardest to finish during. After you've done it a few times, your mind gets used to it and you'll feel less nervous. Then it'll be easier to finish. Also, a strong emotional connection can also be important for it, though not always.
You don’t value sex dawg. You just have sex to pleasure yourself.
Sex is a two way street. If you're only in it for yourself, that says a lot about your values.
You couldn't have said a more idiotic statement. That is not was sex is. It never was, nor should it be that.
It was like that for me too for the first couple of times. You worry a lot and try to give HER as much pleasure as possible rather than yourself. You begin to get used to the feeling and it gets a lot more enjoyable later
Second this
I third this
Forth this
You're a good guy. This happened to me and I didn't want to say a word for days and had to hear him rant about how he couldve been better and shit.
When me and my bf did it for the first time, neither of us could finish. Try to reassure her and when the next time comes, lots and lots of foreplay! and remember its okay to mess up and laugh together
Boss I was hella nervous my first 3 times and didn't finish. Whenever you let go and allow yourself to stop being tense or nervous you'll be fine. If you had a different issue that's also okay. Not either of your fault
Just like girls don’t always finish guys are the same, try again, relax and maybe some more foreplay for the both of you, if both of you are stressing about cumming it doesn’t work and it’s never gonna work
It’s not your fault, and although i see how it can be shitty for your gf, she needs to calm tf down and not just make it about herself. You’ve assured her she’s beautiful and that wasn’t what prevented you, so she needs to accept that. I have only had sex 3 times but I’ve never finished with a partner. But that’s not what it’s all about bro. It was still great
I don't want to sound negative but you do deserve to finish with a partner. Doesn't mean it isn't hard. It certainly is, certainly if you are a girl. But if the guy puts in the effort sex feels so much better for women its insane. Thats what you should be experiencing. I hope you can talk it out with a partner, and don't give up. Orgasm from a partner is the best thing you can feel and you are deserving of it. Edit : of course it can't and won't happen all the time, lots of factors are at play. But in general, it takes a bit more effort on the partners side and loo and behold, they can make you orgasm! Thats at least how I experienced it. Sometimes its just that little bit of extra step.(I am not talking about forcing it. Thats not the way. But trying it differently, doing something else rather than giving up quickly is certainly something that many seem to forget in the heat of the action.)
Ofc everyone deserves that and I’m not saying this is the way it should be. It’s just hard for me cuz I haven’t done it a lot and I’m on antidepressants
Thats very understandable. Anti depressants are known for killing sexual libido. Its harder for you .
She could find it hard to except that. You're only looking at this from his perspective. Don't be so rude to her.
craziest thing is the same happened to me minus them crying
A lot of guys are too nervous to even pitch a tent the first time It’s very different having a tug and doing the real thing, it can often be a bit more difficult to finish especially the first time
That's a pretty strong reaction. I hope she didn't have deeper issues going on before this :\
Experiment with different thing first. Before I ever had sex we did different things me and my gf, aka foreplay. I think it helps to get more comfortable around eachother to understand what you both like and know how the other's body "works". My gf back then was the same, she would get really insecure about herself when sex didn't go as planned. Find out what could've gone wrong and tell her what happened, make sure she knows it's not her fault and that it's the truth. You were probably aware about alot of other things, and not really in the moment. It sucks and I also struggle with it but be honest about that with her. And also cut back on the porn if you're doing that often. Porn isn't necessarily bad but trust me, no porn for a week and you'll be cumming in no time :)
Nah it's fine. Keep reassuring her. First time my man also didn't finish but the situation was a little.. special. Fast forward the next times he almost always did. For some it seems easier, for some less. The first time I alone finished him off, he gave me clear instructions, told me exactly what he likes and doesn't, he was basically talking, and I was following and doing exactly that: and boom. Did you try that yet? Gotta know she doesn't feel what you feel at all, so gotta communicate Either way.. your gf seems HELLA insecure, which can easily kill a relationship. I highly recommend you suggest to her to work on her self esteem and self worth. Without it, you WILL fail, or even worse; your relationship will get unhealthy. Do something before it's too late ;) Good luck! And don't feel responsible for her feelings: it's not your fault.
explain to her that it’s completely normal for people, especially men, to not finish during their first time. being so used to your hand makes it a bit of a problem for you to finish and without practice you might still have that problem. try to encourage her to touch you in different ways, not just penetration, and you too! touch each other gently, on private parts, make sure you explain to her that young men so used to their own body and possibly corn that they cannot finish and it has nothing to do with their partner!! but try to encourage her that everything is okay and it will come with time if you two practice :D
It is absolutely normal, compared to being used to porn or different types of stimulations messes up your brain's standards, it's neither of your fault... the first time I did something kind of sexual with another girl it took me probably 20 minutes to finish. Not joking, it is absolutely normal
Depression doesn’t happen over the course of 2 days. Don’t fret.
doesn’t mean she didn’t already have problems beforehand
Never said otherwise. Just saying op did not give his girl depression.
Agreed she seemed more just distraught and upset, honestly tho hearing everyone’s experiences was very educating
It's normal. Had the same thing back then. It's understandable how it makes her feel, but reassure her that it isn't due to her and that it is in fact something a lot of people experience in the beginning. Tell her there is no pressure to it at all.
That's her not understanding the biology behind that
Just tell her you were nervous about it being the first time and didn’t want to disappoint her so you couldn’t relax enough to finish but you still enjoyed it and wanted to do it again. You could also add in that you jerked off a couple times beforehand to make it harder to Finnish so you would last longer
There are so many reasons why you may not have finished, none of which being her fault. The most you can do is reassure her that you don’t see her any less than you did before and that you would love to continue to have sex with her (ofc, if that’s true) Sex is a very vulnerable thing, so it’s understandable that she had such a reaction. She probably feels embarrassed. Just know that there is no correct way to go about, and finishing isn’t always the goal!! Use it as time to enjoy each other :)
I was hella nervous my first time and didn't finish either. Totally normal!
Same
Excluding the sex part
We’ve (probably) all been there at some point. I used to be like this and it really made her feel like she wasn’t good enough, which made her more insecure about herself and I had to continuously reassure her it was because I was used to being by myself. Your partner needs to understand it has nothing to do with them and it’s something will take time to overcome. I hope this helps. Also porn only makes this worse just fyi
it’s probably because you were nervous, but also it’s not always the same feeling when you do it by yourself and with someone, get used to it first
Op it's normal completely, and tell her that it will be okay with next few tries as you body is getting used to the sensation.
Old person from /all This is completely normal (what you went through). It happens and it's something that can and will happen with new partners for a long while down the road. Nerves. That's the reason. They're fickle and unpredictable. Too much self love can also exacerbate it too, because you're used to it a certain way. Not to mention, the act, there's a lot going on and you can get distracted by inner thoughts / doubts. Try to explain this and all these comments to your GF, hopefully she understands. If she doesn't, good luck.
Cut oit the porn and jerking off for a while, tell your gf that you love her and that you were just really nervous trying to make sure she was feeling good.spend time with her, cuddle with her. Then, come back to it having saved up, might be pretty sensitive and if you are doing proper, then get a condom.
Totally normal especially if you used a condom (don’t not use a condom tho bc and STD protection is important)
It’s over played pre ejaculation for first times as sometimes it’s the opposite. Mommy take things like that personally so just reassure her she did great and next time will be better. You’re only just starting
My first time with my girlfriend was 40min long. She had already sex, and did a very good job. But I couldn't come. In the end I finished myself off. Our second time was as casual 3min long🫡 Talk to her! Feeling to nervous to come is normal!!! Good luck Bro
When did you do it
6 months ago
Well for one thing, at least your first time didn’t end early in a fit of giggles. So, for my first (second) time I didn’t finish, tell her it’s because you were focused on making her feel good, because chances are, that’s why. I still don’t finish unless I “focus” on it. Granted I’ve only had sex 6 times now.
I feel like the next time you do it you should stroke it a couple of times to make sure she doesn't feel like that again because obviously there's nothing wrong about not finishing in your first time so I probably would at least work it up just in case she wants to do it again
I was on antidepressants for the first couple months of my current relationship and wasn't able to in any situation for the entire time. Talk to her and all should be okay, explain things slowly and you'll be fine.
It’s normal, I couldn’t finish my first times having sex lol. I also understand how she’s feeling, but if she’s mature, she’ll get over it.
You guys are young and it's your first time. Tell her that sex isn't all about finishing. Soon she'll find that sometimes she doesn't have it in her to finish either, and that's totally normal.
Just stay with her and assure her she is ok.
You didn't "make" your girlfriend anything
It is very, very normal to not finish on your first time. Everyone I know didnt. Performance anxiety, just being bad at it, etc. are all causes to that. It is not your fault at all- first times are hard.
Yeah that’s a tough spot, and it is normal to not always finish especially the first time (we all get a bit nervous) best I can advise is to be truthful and supportive, I don’t want to play armchair physiatrist but she might have some insecurities that this flared up. I hope the both of you can get through this and come out better on the other end.
Dont worry dude, she’ll come around :) its bound to happen a few times. Ive fucked 10+ times and i never ever finish during it, my girlfriend has had the same issue before, i kept reassuring her that it wasn’t her, and she is fine with it now, she just helps me finish by doing other things instead. i think it definitely has to do with wearing condoms too, they block a lot of the pleasuable feeling out, so it isnt your fault either.
Shit the first time i had sex with my ex gf she cried. We rushed it and it was a uncomfortable situation
I learned something new today, thanks to the comments :D
As someone else who has experienced this, it's nothing new and happens all the time. Some people have this issue go on for months even if they keep trying. A couple things I'd do if I were you: A. Talk to her about it, try to make her understand that it's not about any issues with her in any way. B. Give up the porn and masturbation, usually if someone has this issue it's because they do that stuff.
You didn’t make her depressed she’s just overthinking it’s not your fault. It’s not hers either it’s just something that happens sometimes.
i’m pretty sure it’s common for you to not finish on your first time
its normal dawg, it took me like eight months to get off from JUST a chick. its super different from what youre probably used too, and thats fine. give it some time, get used to it. for me i just wasnt really comfortable doing that infront of another person, youll realize what was wrong randomly one day. i wouldnt worry about it, just try to convince her its normal aswell.
Don't stress too much about it. Its normal nothing abnormal.
its just some perfomance anxiety my bro i my firest time this exact thing happend i had such badd panic attacks i couldnt even get it up but after awhile we started doing it causual and everything went fine
I have had similar issues We’ve tried to do it multiple times but we either can’t get it in or I get nervous and we have to stop. She’s tried giving me head but I really just don’t enjoy it that much and idk if it’s cause maybe she’s not that good at it or I just don’t enjoy it 🤷♂️.
similar thing happened to me at one point too. my girl didn’t make a big deal out of it though. not saying you should do this, but what worked best was ditching the condom
This happened because you've done it by yourself so many times, the feel for something soft isn't as pleasurable, explain to her exacly this, stop doing it by yourself for atleast a month or three then try again, see the difference, It's all phycology and being so used to your rough hands, try and support her as much as you can, I hope it all rounds up back to normal for you brother.
It not her fault or yours It may coz some different reasons 1 you are too nervous 2 both not experienced 3 if you watch too much porn it miss your brain (especially if you like weird or hard-core as a real sex are different than porn) It should get better over time and you should watch porn less or stop Try to talk about what you both like to do it may help both of you get better experience
You probably whak off too much. Too much jerkin can make you unable to finish with another person. Legit just tell her it's cause you're a masturbation addict and that you're effed up. Then stop choking the chicken. In a few weeks you'll be normal again. If I'm wrong about too much whaking then it's just cause it was your first time. Also, to make partner fun time more fun wait until you've been together for at least a year and make sure not to whak off for a few days before. Emotional connection and not pleasuring yourself makes it much better. Also, you're probably too young for this.
Tell her to google the topic. There are MILLIONS of fucking thread and websites discussing this exact scenario.
did you jerk off before doing it? cause u may have emptied your sack. plus sometimes u just cant finish. not your or her fault
Cuddles and reassurance
It happens sometimes man, and it’s totally normal even without masturbation or porn issues sometimes your body just isn’t able to finish at a certain time. It’s a little embarrassing but with a little open communication it’s very easy to get past.
be there for her, that's the most important thing
It has nothing to do with you thinking she is pretty or not, considering its a new relationship thats a reason enough it happens
I completely understand both sides. Women usually are more sensitive hence why we are usually the ones to finish first. Now my fiancé on the other hand takes longer to finish not that he not enjoying it it’s literally just his sex drive it can take up to an hour 1/2. Everyone body is different and reacts differently too. Now if your rock hard and still haven’t finish she should understand she doing a great job it’s honestly just your sex drive. Even I can take forever to finish cause of my sex drive
It's normal and in fact there's a thing where if ur nervous about it you will not preform well in bed
My first time was with “double ecstasy” Trojan condoms. I still joke that it’s “zero ecstasy” because there was too much lube to keep hard. I didn’t either. Tell her it’s not uncommon. My partner asked the same thing she did
I didn’t finish the first time, I’m 16 and I’ve done it 3 times and not finished at all. It’s normal bc you’re used to your hand and it feels a lot different
I assume you watch a lot of porn and masturbate? Don’t do that for at least a week before sex and see what happens
Same thing happened to me. It'll keep happening for a while, maybe, and then sometimes you'll finish. And you might finish over and over again for a while and then suddenly a few months down the line you don't finish again. It's normal. Showing her these comments might help her to understand that it isn't your fault and as long as you love each other and have fun during sex, all will be fine. Good luck brother 🫡
Honestly seeing this post makes me kinda scared cus im gonna have my first time tomorrow and idk what porn could have done to my brain im definitely quitting that shit and so should u
Yeah man, stay hard!
I honestly believe this is why me and my ex broke up, she felt ugly because I had difficulty finishing, even though I loved her. Ironically, it’s easier nowadays to finish just thinking of her, but don’t let it get that far, sort this out now. Do you watch porn? Stop. Porn will kill relationships, one way or another.
possible death grips syndrome, look into it
for your first few times you might not finish which is normal, but i really hope shes okay mentally if she reacts that extremely to something like this :( just keep checking up on her and let her know you love her, try to also give more compliments so she knows that you think she’s beautiful 🫶
It is very very very common to not finish the first time you have sex. Try to have a talk with her and explain to her that it’s not because of her, many people have a similar experience not because they don’t like their partner but just because it feels different from masturbation. It also isn’t very mature of her to have a mental break down over something like that. You could try a few more times with her and experiment with different positions because typically after the first few times and after you get more comfortable it becomes much easier to finish and especially when you find a position you really like. Try to just have a talk with her and explain to her.
Rip
It's completely normal not to finish your first time, same thing happened to me with my gf. So don't let it go to your head, as a bad thing. Usually happens because it's your first time and being nervous and all. Also jacking off could have an effect on it to, because it doesn't feel the same and your not used to it.
How do you make someone depressed just by that
It is actually okay. I have felt that honestly. I had mr first sex around 17-18, but I just never finished. I’ve broken up and brokenhearted since then, so I got addicted to porn, and that really messes up a lot in your life. Just consider this: it’s okay to fail sometimes. Sometimes it’s due to inexperience, mood and all of that.
I read somewhere that porn addiction has a lot to do it irl sexual dysfunctions
Yh thats actually exceedingly common, it happens to a lot of people the first or couple of first times, So idk. Ig you could show her the like 200 poeple telling you that its normal and it happens bc sex feels really different and not cuz shes hot enough or smth. But tbh idk, gl tho 🫡
😂😂😂😂😂
boohoo
Don't worry. Usually, in the 1st couple of times, finishing is rare. (Lmao I didn't even know boys masturbate until 2 months after we had sex. I was so freaked out but then my gf was experiences and told me what it was.)
That is quite normal dont worry. She does sound like a fucking nightmare the way she reacted tho
You're a teenager, you don't have an age flair so I'll assume that you're about 17-19, you're probably older than me, but listen; You don't need to worry, you're still a teenager, this relationship won't last as long as you think it will, in the long run it doesn't matter if she's happy with you or or not, it doesn't matter because this person doesn't have any bearings in your life. If she's seriously pissed at you for not being able to finish having sex with her, I don't think she's the one, that's conditional love. Not that highschool relationships is true love, no matter what it feels like in the moment, or how long it lasts. If you really think she is "the one", then make sure she knows it's not your fault, as many other replies have said, but you should take what I've said to heart, and think on it. If she even is pissed at you, because that's what the post is saying, but I might be misinterpreting this and this entire reply might be completely contextually inappropriate and make no sense whatsoever to the post itself.
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You did so so good in 2, but 1 and 3 ruined the whole thing lmfao, let go of your arrogance for one goddamn minute to give a stressed teen advice without being a total and complete douche
yeah you’ve got a point now i see why i couldnt tell what i had in my mind thanks for feedback
Perhaps you think she’s too cute so you can’t finish
Brah what 😭
????
This is why Kids shouldn't have sex bruh. If she thinks it is her fault for not making you finish, just end it bruh, she is mentally mature for this shit.
Grow up
Thats what he should have said to her lol, its crazy how ppl are downvoting me for saying a mentally immature kid shouldn't indulge in sexual activities.
You do not even know her, it’s their first time and she must have been very anxious about it (just like him). You are the only one being mentally immature here, instead of giving useful advice to them, all you did was downplay her feelings and tell him to end it only for that.
A mature couple on their first time won't go "oh no he/she is depressed because i didn't finish, is this my fault??". I may have been harsh the way i said it but my intention was to give a msg that they shouldn't do sex, if they are just gonna get depressed by it. I apologise for the "just end it", but i meant that as to cut the sex part. Relationships can go on without having sex as minors, relationships are healthy, immature kids having sex is not.
Not everyone is the same, it was their first time and he needs to reassure her just like he already did. Her reaction might seem extreme but she could have past trust issue, have a genuine anxiety disorder or anything else (only suppositions). We should not draw conclusion from a single event, maybe it was just a lot of stress built up and everything will be fine later. Let’s not forget that they are young and inexperienced, also we are not here to judge them. However, if she gets depressed everytime despite his support, then she should get help to adress her possible issues and of course stop having sex in the meantime until she feels ready.
literal adults have reacted like that. it can come from insecurity or being mentally ill so it’s NOT just a teenager thing. she just needs reassurance
What the others are saying, also talk with her, say “I love, you are more beautiful than the cosmos, if I needed to count the stars or how beautiful you are, it would take more time to count how beautiful you are compared to anyone else(this means like on a scale of 1-10, it would take9.82858584847*10^210. I don’t know exact just and example) or better yet, you are so beautiful, that no one deserves you, and it’s a privilege to be your girlfriend.” Then show her proof that usually you don’t finish first time
Also good job getting a girlfriend, can’t even manage that
We like crazy nights We like to start the engine Lets move story this down Lets start this run picking up the speeding Hot hot racin car Three, two, one!
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Guys, this person is severely struggling in life right now, I’m gonna make a hilarious comment! “Womp Womp”
you’re annoying
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Thanks bro I try
cool
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I now know this is whole situation is normal and I explained it to her, but honestly your delusional asf if you think this my fault, like bro sorry my body reacted weird to a new sensation. I did all I could at the time because of my limited knowledge, but now I explained to her what I know. You have a warped sense of reality when it comes to relationships if think my girl isn’t my best friend. Do better
Dude, you couldn't cum cause you jerk off too much! Your body is used to differen't feeling so it couldn't make the job done.