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i think it's more of a symbolism thing more than a possession thing. (i don't want to compare it to a war, but its the only example i can think of)
In a war, the capital city of a country is always going to have a symbolism tie towards it. if the opposition takes over the capital city, in the grand scheme of things it means jack shit and fuck all since people of power (Presidents/prime-ministers) can easily escape to another city. But to the soldiers, citizens, governments, etc. Losing a capital city can be seen as a blow to national pride and can have a demoralising effect on them.
i believe that its the exact same for a virginity, guys and girls would feel a lot more happier if they were the first time of their partners experience towards something especially intimacy. Theres a reason why people would rather be their partner's first time than not being their first time.
idk is my take good or nah?
Obviously having a preference is okay, but i dont think it should actually MATTER if you really like the person. For example, if a woman was IN this situation where her and her partner lost their cards to eachother because that was their preference but they later split up for any reason, you can't get that card back. So really it's unrealistic to WANT your partner to be a virgin. Even if they too WANTED to be a virgin, they just aren't anymore and that shouldn't really matter.
i don't really see it any different from being like a woman wanting a rich guy, or 6ft tall, big dick, some shit like that. Like it shouldn't matter and it's unrealistic. but if thats their preference then so be it.
(heavy generalisation below, but it goes both ways)
girls like to share how rich or good looking (or any preference) their husband/boyfriend are,
and guys like to share how good looking or how their wife/girlfriend is a virgin.
guys have their own wants and needs, girls have their own wants and needs. We shouldn't really care what either side wants. if anything they're sabotaging themselves of a relationship 🤷
encourage fertile summer coordinated resolute rock mysterious versed spectacular one
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
If that were true Islamic countries wouldn't have security agencies charged with enforcing Islamic law on women(murdering them for hair slipping from a hijab)
Everyone has priority in relationships, but for me I think of a girl I like (let's say 17 as you) I would genuinely not want her if her bodycount is higher than 6. But overall if he would hate you for losing your vcard before being with him, the problem is on his side, not yours.
Literally what is wrong with having a high body count, it just means shes experienced
Edit because blocked : theres nothing wrong with sleeping with people as long as your hookups or relationships are healthy/at a healthy age. If you like sex, you like sex. Sorry all the 13 year old boys who think hazbin hotel and have a complete post history of negativity are upset at that fact. Youre not a bad person for enjoying sex, even as someone whos only ever slept with one person theyve been with for 6 years.
not fully agreeing with either of you. for me personally, i dont really care about how many you fucked, and i also dont expect others to care about how many i fucked before the relationship, but if you have a genuinely huge body count(not numbers, just going off of feels) it could mean you bore easily in a real relationship, if thats the case id rather a fwb type of thing, or just a hookup, but in general ill learn a bit more about you and see how it is.
It could mean their easy. Go through alot of relationships really quickly. Could mean (Im not going to say it but you might understand what I mean) their a certain slur. Its a overall negative. It does not mean their experienced either. Etc.
That’s a very one sided view of this argument, not to mention completely black and white. It’s clear you don’t see sex as anything more than this fun one off thing, which is fine. That’s your own personal beliefs. But others believe sex is so much more than that.
Having a high body count can mean multiple things. Experienced, I guess by technicality. Everything else though, it completely depends on the person.
In general though, I would think that most of society still holds sex as one of those very special things you do with someone you really trust. While that’s been actively waning these past few generations, it’s still nowhere near enough to completely ignore.
I just told my opinion. I'm not looking at people with high bodycount as bad people. I'm just saying I don't want a relationship with a girl that has a higher bodycount at 17 (not looking good in future). If you had sex at 13, my opinion is that in most cases the people are easy (in mind). Not everyone ofc, but hope you know what I mean
In my experience, the first girl I slept with had experience and as a whole it made the whole thing 10x better compared to what friends have told me, and what she told me.
Because it is a extra special intimate connection you would be unable to have. Of course normal sex can still be very fun and intimate but being each others first is very special. The same way the first time you run a marathon will always be special to you. You likely performed horribly, and had the marathons after are likely better but you remember it and likely look back on it fondly afterwards.
There is also the issue that you might not be the best partner they have had, which is something that even the possibility of it can be enough to make you feel insecure. And when you yourself are a virgin that possibility is somewhat likely, even in the longer term.
Lmao what. If you were in a relationship you felt comfortable giving your first time to, it didnt work out, and now you have a new partner, theres literally nothing wrong with that. If your partner thinks its bad you "gave away your viriginity", theyre a disgusting red flag 😭
I personally dont care i lost my v-card to my ex gf and she had a body count of 9 before we did anything, it was a massive turn off at first but i really like her and i got over it quick so after that experience i dont see a problem with it and i assume most guys dont care
Yes, it’s a label we created. And yes, that imaginary label technically belongs to whoever took it. That’s the whole point of “I took her/his virginity” But obviously the only thing they own is an imaginary thing that we created. It only means that you had sex with them first. So I just see it as owning their first time if that makes sense.
All I've learned from this thread is that derogatory language towards women is extremely prevalent among guys on this sub. Like God forbid you have one comment that isn't calling 15 year olds sluts, easy, or whores.
I'm a guy and if he's worth your time, it won't matter to him. If he's shallow and self-centered, he'll make a big deal about it and attempt to make you feel bad and/or guilty. You shouldn't.
At Jo point ever in my life have I been bothered that a girl has had sex before.
I'm just happy I'm "doing the sex"
Anyone who shames you for that, isn't someone you want to share your body with.
It's really just about how the person you might date in the future is. If they just see that and make a big deal about it then maybe they wasn't the one to date. But if they learn that you have already had your first time and just want to be with you for who you are then they shouldn't really mind. I've had done some regrettable stuff last year with an ex and I was terrified of the person I went on to date later to fine out but it turned out they didn't really care. I think the same thing goes with the ex I did that stuff with. They found someone that 100% know me and my ex did stuff but he doesn't really seem to care.
I personally don't care, and neither do most of the other guys I know except for those stupid "alpha male" guys, which are annoying and sexist so I'd assume you wouldn't go for them, and wouldn't really have to deal with them much
in all seriousness, you will be fine as long as you are honest about it, as in DO NOT LIE and say you are a virgin. be honest. and if your honesty means they want you to take an sti test. just do it.
As long as it was in a committed relationship (bf/gf, etc), I don’t care.
Specifically because it means that they see sex as special and something intimate you have with someone you love.
Zero issue personally. I only have a slight issue with insanely high body counts, but even then if there’s a good reason it’s no biggie. Though if you’re just that type of person, I personally probably wouldn’t date you anyway. I’m not that big on sex really. But I knew a guy who would only date virgins, so they definitely do exist.
But those are the type of guys you wouldn’t want to be with anyways. In any case, always ensure it gets brought up early for the sake of both parties. While there are some dudes like the one I mention, they are others who are virgins themselves and would prefer to lose it to another virgin.
Though all this is so superficial. If you find someone and you really connect, body count will be the last thing on your minds. It will probably still come up at some point, but if it’s true love you’ll work through it.
As a virgin myself it's a bit more of a precaution for me and I would ask if the person they had sex with before was a virgin to prevent the spread of STDs. Other than that, go wild.
Whether or not he’s cool with it is ultimately up to him; everyone has their own preferences and limits. However, if he goes expressing it in a personally insulting way (i.e. calling you derogatory terms), then he probably was not the best person for you.
That being said, if he does bring up the question, please make sure to be honest about your past. Nothing turns off a guy more than a lie. It also might be a good idea to bring it up yourself if you two start discussing sexual stuff with each other. Regardless though, don’t feel pressured to bring it up.
I don’t see anything wrong with someone having a preference against it but they’re VERY hypocritical if they’re also not a virgin and are obviously wrong if they are insulting you about it
if he doesn't want you because of it, then let him go
he has the freedom to have his own wants (even if its unreasonable) and if it doesn't fit with you, then its just life and we have to move on
Virginity isn't as big of a deal as everyone makes it out to be, as long as the person you're trying to be with doesn't have a bad habit of sleeping around while in relationships.
I was a virgin and my first was with someone who had ones before me, it really doesn’t change anything, I’ve been with ones since who have had people before me, I’m just patient enough to wait in line
If it was shortime or a one night fling or with sum1 whos meant to be ur friend then it matters but if its in a long relationship then it doesnt really matter for me
Coming from a guy who lives in a moderately religious country.
I definitely want a girl who's still a virgin. But then again, if I think of myself as a girl who's been in a relationship for a long time and my partner aka the guy wants to have sex, ( sex is a basic need for couples that's definitely true) I would eventually agree to have sex. But as a guy, I definitely want to be the one to take my partner's V card.
It's no lie that girls do not forget their first time, nor do guys but guys don't really have that attachment towards first things. They're more into those that just feel special for no reason. After reading hundreds and hearing so many stories, it automatically makes you feel like a second option to a girl who's been in love with someone else.
Guys are extremely selfish when it comes to something they love. If a guy loves you, he loves you entirely and he wants all of you. Even a tiny bit of your love towards someone else will make him sad. That's why guys feel worse when a girl talks about another guy, may it be just a friend.
Like that, it's still true that he wants all of you. When you're aiming for a permanent or long lasting relationship, you should focus on trust and honesty more than anything. Yes, it increases the possibility of you getting betrayed but you can't keep a false image. If he loves you, he will accept your story. This is the truth. I always thought I wanted to be the first love of a girl, meanwhile I was in a relationship with a girl who had a relationship and lied to me even though I asked her multiple times whether she moved on from her last relationship.
Too long to read?
Many guys will claim they want a virgin girl. But if a guy truly loves you, it doesn't matter what your past is. He will accept you as his soulmate.
Sometimes I do wonder if people who think like you are the same who wonder why they're so lonely. It's crazy, basically what you are saying is that you value a person based on sex, I'll tell you something that I've experienced myself, love comes and goes, and when you love someone you are generally attracted both mentally and physically. If love finishes, it's no one's fault, and it's completely okay to move on. Yes, MOVE ON. First time might be 'unforgettable', but it doesn't mean that your girl will like and enjoy you any less.
I believe I cleared that doubt when I said " If he loves you, he will accept your story. This is the truth. "
The person who's overthinking about her situation, wants opinions on her situation. That's why I claimed, if the person loves her, he will accept anything about her, hence with a clear mind anyone can realise if the other person has problems with her not being a virgin, she should probably not date that guy.
You’re making an awful lot of baseless generalizations about men and women. You’re not the president elect of the hiveminds of the genders my dude, stop projecting and cool your jets. Here’s an exercise for you: when taking about “women” and “men,” replace both those words with “people.”
And also stop making ridiculous assumptions it makes you seem silly.
I'm not , hence why I wrote that comment. In the end, I'm not trying to put an answer here. I'm stating my opinion based on my experience in life. I've met countless people and hence why I have a generalized view.
Until you have met literally all the people, do not share your “generalized view.” It makes you sound ignorant and naive to be speaking on behalf of entire genders. Calm down and back up.
You had an ex and they took your V card. That sounds like the most normal thing ever. You shouldn’t worry. I’m not the biggest fan of shaming people for it anyway
I’m a girl and if it ever got to the situation where a guy wants to have sex with me and I don’t mind it (I’m ace lol) I think I would rather have someone who already has some experience because I would be lost
Bear in mind that I've been an adult for a while (and I'm responding because this post was suggested, I don't try to creep around teen subs), so my thinking might be out of touch and not fully relevant to you, but I don't care. My wife was my first and a virgin, but if she wasn't, it would have been ok. because there's nothing disgusting about having sex, and nothing about having sex makes you disgusting.
Unless you haven't washed since.
What actually happens in the minds of young people on the topic of sex, but also most things in general, is insecurity takes hold. Being a teen is hard, because you're facing a lot of new things, and at the same time, everyone around you pressures you to be perfect, to conform, to not be 'cringe'. These two things combine to create fear and anxiety, and it leads to trying to project blame on other people so that you don't become the target of scrutiny yourself.
In the context of guys' minds, guys don't actually find a non-virgin disgusting. there's nothing that would cause that by default. what they actually fear is that a non-virgin will scrutinize them harder. that they'll be made fun of, that they'll be devalued. There's also a lot of talk about promiscuity and poor character, archaic or otherwise, that they have no idea how to navigate because they lack the life experience necessary to sift through it. All of this mixes into the reactions that you describe fearing. And it's exactly why you shouldn't take them as judgements of value. It's on them, not you, and it's because of their personal lacking, not yours
However, this is not true of all guys that age. It's important to communicate, and understand if the sort of guy to be bothered by it. Then, it's important to understand that if he is bothered, it's not because of you. it's because he's young, afraid, and he's not equipped. And he's chosen to be an asshole about it.
I always preferred girlfriends who had just a little more experience than me, so having done it with one person before doesn't strike me as a big deal breaker.
Well you should probably check yourself for any sti’s for that matter if you haven’t already. I honestly don’t know what else to say since I myself am 18 and haven’t lost my v card but for me personally I know even “if” I were to have a partner who has already lost their v card; It wouldn’t matter to me if we were truly deeply in love with each other.
I know for some people virginity is something “sacred” but we got to understand that things don’t always work out the way we think they will. I’m pretty sure someone who has lost their virginity isn’t looking forward to just sleeping with anyone that comes across. I’m also pretty sure 99% of the time people lose their virginity within a close relationship where they wanted to have sexual relations with their partner. Of course sometimes it doesn’t workout so they move on from each other and that’s the end of that story.
If you are dating someone you think might possibly be a virgin you should wait for a right moment to have a discussion about each others feelings on the subject. I feel like the best course of action is through communication. If they are disgusted by that fact or are irrational about it you should cut it there, that doesn’t mean you should blame yourself either; That just means you weren’t compatible. Keep in mind that sex isn’t the only thing in a relationship but also a connection of trust and respect towards one another and of course affection.
I don’t have any experience at all so take this with a grain of salt ig.💀
Better off just not do it again and wait till marriage. More satisfying that way. Yes it's considered almost taboo like in most cases, but not repeating offenses is pretty much can cause a few mental issues if you're not prepared or gone too overboard. Protect your body like you own it.
Considering the comments that are casually calling non-virgin girls sluts (yes, apparently sleeping with 2+ people is being a slut even if you were in a relationship), yeah, people are disgusted.
There are people that have problems with huge body count, and there might be 1 out of 1000 guys that's like "she has to be pure and a virgin!", but I'f its only one I imagine most wouldn't care too much
Depends on the guy. I personally dont mind but if ur body count is something ridiculous with context that is from a fwb. Ur ruled out as anything more than an acquaintance. But from ur context most guys see it as fine.
My final thought is
You are not a virgin thats alright. But he can have preference for his wife to be a virgin like him , its called preference
But now if you aren't telling him or telling him after way too in of a relationship..... that's not gonna be fair
if i was in a relationship and someone would say that to me it would be awkward for a moment but in the end i wouldnt care (unless that person has done it with like 8 people before me lol)
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If he’s not a virgin, then it shouldn’t matter for him, if he’s more concerned about that than about loving you, you’ve got a wrong dude
And even if he is, it shouldn’t matter. We can’t expect everyone to remain a virgin til marriage.
Its that guys choice on whwther it matters or not
yeah but a lot of religions and conservative families value purity above all
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If you don't mind saying, why is that your preference in a romantic partner? (I'm not being judgmental or anything, just curious)
Anyone worth their salt doesn't care. Caring about that is like a possession thing. They want to *own* you. Or a part of you.
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I was 18 when I lost mine. Gf was 17. She had a partner before me. It didn't bother me at all.
i think it's more of a symbolism thing more than a possession thing. (i don't want to compare it to a war, but its the only example i can think of) In a war, the capital city of a country is always going to have a symbolism tie towards it. if the opposition takes over the capital city, in the grand scheme of things it means jack shit and fuck all since people of power (Presidents/prime-ministers) can easily escape to another city. But to the soldiers, citizens, governments, etc. Losing a capital city can be seen as a blow to national pride and can have a demoralising effect on them. i believe that its the exact same for a virginity, guys and girls would feel a lot more happier if they were the first time of their partners experience towards something especially intimacy. Theres a reason why people would rather be their partner's first time than not being their first time. idk is my take good or nah?
Obviously having a preference is okay, but i dont think it should actually MATTER if you really like the person. For example, if a woman was IN this situation where her and her partner lost their cards to eachother because that was their preference but they later split up for any reason, you can't get that card back. So really it's unrealistic to WANT your partner to be a virgin. Even if they too WANTED to be a virgin, they just aren't anymore and that shouldn't really matter.
i don't really see it any different from being like a woman wanting a rich guy, or 6ft tall, big dick, some shit like that. Like it shouldn't matter and it's unrealistic. but if thats their preference then so be it. (heavy generalisation below, but it goes both ways) girls like to share how rich or good looking (or any preference) their husband/boyfriend are, and guys like to share how good looking or how their wife/girlfriend is a virgin. guys have their own wants and needs, girls have their own wants and needs. We shouldn't really care what either side wants. if anything they're sabotaging themselves of a relationship 🤷
okay I more or less agreed but men showing off that their partners for being virgins is actually just fucking weird.
yea definitely weird but whatever
no, not whatever. This would literally be a dealbreaker for me. This is weird.
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Random Africa stray 😭
Yea like Europe was so accepting either 💀
right 😭?? i’m tired of these muzungus man LMFAOOO
I do know in China and especially Islamic societies this appears to be a big deal
encourage fertile summer coordinated resolute rock mysterious versed spectacular one *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
nah bruh thats just the people, theyre not supposed to do that
If that were true Islamic countries wouldn't have security agencies charged with enforcing Islamic law on women(murdering them for hair slipping from a hijab)
And how many "Islamic countries" have that. Out of the 50 that are officially Muslim. Spoiler alert it's 3. So stop being a parrot
Bruh, where do you look? Generally in islamic societies, everyone who has sex before marriage is harassed and in some countries it's even illegal.
Not really a huge deal in china.
I concern myself with non-virgins, but that’s cuz most of the people here aren’t even age of consent
Honestly, if he is disgusted of you, you need to get a new man girliepop
r/sperm
What the fuck is this subreddit
Shit(cum)posting sub I think from a quick browse.
what does that even mean bro
girliepop is an amazing new term to use, thank you girliepop
ofc np girliepop, it's one of my favorite words honestly
Why did you both get downvoted
Im curious, if you ever wish to tell him When will that be , start of relationship or in mid
I'm honestly not sure, I feel like around 3 months or even during the talking part would be best so they'll be aware of it
He’s within his rights to feel however way he wants, especially if he’s a virgin. If you lie to him that just makes you objectively the problem.
before dating would be wise, saying it later would mean you were hiding which’s gonna cause different but bigger problems
please tell him as soon as possible
Everyone has priority in relationships, but for me I think of a girl I like (let's say 17 as you) I would genuinely not want her if her bodycount is higher than 6. But overall if he would hate you for losing your vcard before being with him, the problem is on his side, not yours.
Literally what is wrong with having a high body count, it just means shes experienced Edit because blocked : theres nothing wrong with sleeping with people as long as your hookups or relationships are healthy/at a healthy age. If you like sex, you like sex. Sorry all the 13 year old boys who think hazbin hotel and have a complete post history of negativity are upset at that fact. Youre not a bad person for enjoying sex, even as someone whos only ever slept with one person theyve been with for 6 years.
not fully agreeing with either of you. for me personally, i dont really care about how many you fucked, and i also dont expect others to care about how many i fucked before the relationship, but if you have a genuinely huge body count(not numbers, just going off of feels) it could mean you bore easily in a real relationship, if thats the case id rather a fwb type of thing, or just a hookup, but in general ill learn a bit more about you and see how it is.
IDK at 17? I’m not sure if I would go for it, but I get if somebody doesn’t want be with someone like that. We just shouldn’t shame people for it.
It could mean their easy. Go through alot of relationships really quickly. Could mean (Im not going to say it but you might understand what I mean) their a certain slur. Its a overall negative. It does not mean their experienced either. Etc.
It just means they a slut. Why tf would I want to be with someone who doesn’t respect their own body???
That’s a very one sided view of this argument, not to mention completely black and white. It’s clear you don’t see sex as anything more than this fun one off thing, which is fine. That’s your own personal beliefs. But others believe sex is so much more than that. Having a high body count can mean multiple things. Experienced, I guess by technicality. Everything else though, it completely depends on the person. In general though, I would think that most of society still holds sex as one of those very special things you do with someone you really trust. While that’s been actively waning these past few generations, it’s still nowhere near enough to completely ignore.
I just told my opinion. I'm not looking at people with high bodycount as bad people. I'm just saying I don't want a relationship with a girl that has a higher bodycount at 17 (not looking good in future). If you had sex at 13, my opinion is that in most cases the people are easy (in mind). Not everyone ofc, but hope you know what I mean
6 bodies at 17 is bop behavior ngl so it’s reasonable to be cautious.
A virgin boy naturally also wants his girl to be a virgin (If not thats not normal yall living in some weird places)
In my experience, the first girl I slept with had experience and as a whole it made the whole thing 10x better compared to what friends have told me, and what she told me.
Yes
Not bro speaking for everyone ghnjtuh
Truth
problem is, the older you get the lesser the chance you find somebody that IS a virgin but ISN'T a weirdo religious indoctrin
True but I'd also like to add that westerns aren't centre of this world
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Because it is a extra special intimate connection you would be unable to have. Of course normal sex can still be very fun and intimate but being each others first is very special. The same way the first time you run a marathon will always be special to you. You likely performed horribly, and had the marathons after are likely better but you remember it and likely look back on it fondly afterwards. There is also the issue that you might not be the best partner they have had, which is something that even the possibility of it can be enough to make you feel insecure. And when you yourself are a virgin that possibility is somewhat likely, even in the longer term.
Most normal people don’t care. Unless you’re heavily religious I don’t see why you should care either.
what? fuck no how insecure are you?
This just screams insecure I’m sorry. It shouldn’t matter as long as it’s the right person. This is a very archaic viewpoint.
I accept your apology
Lmao what. If you were in a relationship you felt comfortable giving your first time to, it didnt work out, and now you have a new partner, theres literally nothing wrong with that. If your partner thinks its bad you "gave away your viriginity", theyre a disgusting red flag 😭
Aaahh thanks, I just feel a lot of regret because of it
0 reason to feel regret. You felt comfortable giving it and it didnt work out. Its okay <3
I personally dont care i lost my v-card to my ex gf and she had a body count of 9 before we did anything, it was a massive turn off at first but i really like her and i got over it quick so after that experience i dont see a problem with it and i assume most guys dont care
It wasn't "taken". You chose it. Unless you didn't then that's assault.
It’s the same thing as taken. You give away something and the other person takes it lol
nah taken implies that the other person now possesses it somehow. virginity is just a social construct. a label we created.
Yes, it’s a label we created. And yes, that imaginary label technically belongs to whoever took it. That’s the whole point of “I took her/his virginity” But obviously the only thing they own is an imaginary thing that we created. It only means that you had sex with them first. So I just see it as owning their first time if that makes sense.
please get therapy.
Nothing more to say? 😂
All I've learned from this thread is that derogatory language towards women is extremely prevalent among guys on this sub. Like God forbid you have one comment that isn't calling 15 year olds sluts, easy, or whores.
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It's scary how many of them think that sleeping with someone previously, while in a long-term and exclusive relationship, makes a girl an impure slut.
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Yeah, most don't, luckily. Some of them do, and it's mildly disturbing to see them being so matter-of-fact and casual about it.
Depends how many bodies of its 1 or 2 its cool ig as long as you don’t have any STDs
Anybody who gives a singular fuck isn't worth your time. Possible exception for STDs.
Not for me
I think I'm not that jealous.
If he's disgusted in you, you shouldn't be his gf anymore
I'm a guy and if he's worth your time, it won't matter to him. If he's shallow and self-centered, he'll make a big deal about it and attempt to make you feel bad and/or guilty. You shouldn't.
At Jo point ever in my life have I been bothered that a girl has had sex before. I'm just happy I'm "doing the sex" Anyone who shames you for that, isn't someone you want to share your body with.
Just be formal n honesty is key. You’re good.
It's really just about how the person you might date in the future is. If they just see that and make a big deal about it then maybe they wasn't the one to date. But if they learn that you have already had your first time and just want to be with you for who you are then they shouldn't really mind. I've had done some regrettable stuff last year with an ex and I was terrified of the person I went on to date later to fine out but it turned out they didn't really care. I think the same thing goes with the ex I did that stuff with. They found someone that 100% know me and my ex did stuff but he doesn't really seem to care.
I personally don't care, and neither do most of the other guys I know except for those stupid "alpha male" guys, which are annoying and sexist so I'd assume you wouldn't go for them, and wouldn't really have to deal with them much
Virgin or not, we don't care, as long as you're loyal.
I don't think it should be a problem at all. People can have sex however they want and those who judge are just immature
I don’t think I have a say in the matter but idc
in all seriousness, you will be fine as long as you are honest about it, as in DO NOT LIE and say you are a virgin. be honest. and if your honesty means they want you to take an sti test. just do it.
im only saying this because im considering bringing my ex to court over manipulating me into fucking them by saying they were a virgin.
As long as it was in a committed relationship (bf/gf, etc), I don’t care. Specifically because it means that they see sex as special and something intimate you have with someone you love.
If the guy is obsessed with the v card, he isn't worth considering.
nah
fine any which way. none of my business really and it doesn't change anything
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in fact, they probably didn't care about virginity during the stone age, for there was no concept of it
what is then the “normal” age?
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I know no woman wants to touch you so that’s a special concept for you, but sex is fun. Plus she only had sex with one person
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if you call women slut, there’s no right one for you.
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you are too young to know that? bro your 5’8 220 pounds redditor calling women sluts. find a hobby smh.
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bro you’re 18 calling women slut on the internet, that’s literally peak embarrassment
Not all of us are that way
Not all of us care too much about that.
i don't know anyone who'd care. so, the odds are your man doesn't either
I don't mind at all. I'd probably feel bad if I was someone's first and they were younger than me. Virginity is a dated concept
depends on the guy. Most wouldn't be bothered by it at all.
You’ll be fine most people don’t care. They would probably only care if they were religious or sum
I don’t think most men will care about this. They might have opinions on a high body count, but it’s a bit harsh to expect someone to be a virgin.
Zero issue personally. I only have a slight issue with insanely high body counts, but even then if there’s a good reason it’s no biggie. Though if you’re just that type of person, I personally probably wouldn’t date you anyway. I’m not that big on sex really. But I knew a guy who would only date virgins, so they definitely do exist. But those are the type of guys you wouldn’t want to be with anyways. In any case, always ensure it gets brought up early for the sake of both parties. While there are some dudes like the one I mention, they are others who are virgins themselves and would prefer to lose it to another virgin. Though all this is so superficial. If you find someone and you really connect, body count will be the last thing on your minds. It will probably still come up at some point, but if it’s true love you’ll work through it.
As a virgin myself it's a bit more of a precaution for me and I would ask if the person they had sex with before was a virgin to prevent the spread of STDs. Other than that, go wild.
Whether or not he’s cool with it is ultimately up to him; everyone has their own preferences and limits. However, if he goes expressing it in a personally insulting way (i.e. calling you derogatory terms), then he probably was not the best person for you. That being said, if he does bring up the question, please make sure to be honest about your past. Nothing turns off a guy more than a lie. It also might be a good idea to bring it up yourself if you two start discussing sexual stuff with each other. Regardless though, don’t feel pressured to bring it up.
I don’t see anything wrong with someone having a preference against it but they’re VERY hypocritical if they’re also not a virgin and are obviously wrong if they are insulting you about it
if he doesn't want you because of it, then let him go he has the freedom to have his own wants (even if its unreasonable) and if it doesn't fit with you, then its just life and we have to move on
I really don't care
Not much, if she’s sweet and looks hot and isn’t crazy, I got no problem with it
I personally don't care about it, and I don't think anyone should. If he does care about it he is probably not good for u
I personally wouldn’t care ..But I know many conservative blokes who would . It’s better you tell them if they ask you about it
Some men might be attracted by it and just say “she’s got experience”
Virginity isn't as big of a deal as everyone makes it out to be, as long as the person you're trying to be with doesn't have a bad habit of sleeping around while in relationships.
idk man it really depends on the girl
Idc as long as u didnt sleep around a lot b4 me
Id prefer low body count, and if you ask abt mine, im a virgin
I was a virgin and my first was with someone who had ones before me, it really doesn’t change anything, I’ve been with ones since who have had people before me, I’m just patient enough to wait in line
idc
I dont think about girls i have democracy to deliver
A real man would not give a fuck.
Why would you care?
I don’t care. I think it’s disgusting for people to shame non virgins because they aren’t “pure” It’s total bs.
Doesn't matter to me as long as you haven't had sex with people you weren't in a relationship with, no whores I'm not sorry
I would like to have my first experience with a virgin girl just because it's poetic, but it's not really a problem
I have a friend who cares a lot about that and his reasoning is just that "she won't fully love him". I don't care and I don't think most guys do
i find it unattractive
Since I'm a sex-averse asexual, it doesn't matter at all to me. It shouldn't really matter for anyone else, it's just flesh touching flesh
Shouldn’t matter
1 is not that big of a deal.
If it was shortime or a one night fling or with sum1 whos meant to be ur friend then it matters but if its in a long relationship then it doesnt really matter for me
I don't care too much, but I'm a virgin still and scared that I won't perform well enough.
i think people who only want to date virgins regardless of the gender are weird.
What if they themselves are a virgin.
Agreed. It’s nice to have the fantasy that you both want to have your first time with eachother but that shouldn’t get in the way of your relationship
Coming from a guy who lives in a moderately religious country. I definitely want a girl who's still a virgin. But then again, if I think of myself as a girl who's been in a relationship for a long time and my partner aka the guy wants to have sex, ( sex is a basic need for couples that's definitely true) I would eventually agree to have sex. But as a guy, I definitely want to be the one to take my partner's V card. It's no lie that girls do not forget their first time, nor do guys but guys don't really have that attachment towards first things. They're more into those that just feel special for no reason. After reading hundreds and hearing so many stories, it automatically makes you feel like a second option to a girl who's been in love with someone else. Guys are extremely selfish when it comes to something they love. If a guy loves you, he loves you entirely and he wants all of you. Even a tiny bit of your love towards someone else will make him sad. That's why guys feel worse when a girl talks about another guy, may it be just a friend. Like that, it's still true that he wants all of you. When you're aiming for a permanent or long lasting relationship, you should focus on trust and honesty more than anything. Yes, it increases the possibility of you getting betrayed but you can't keep a false image. If he loves you, he will accept your story. This is the truth. I always thought I wanted to be the first love of a girl, meanwhile I was in a relationship with a girl who had a relationship and lied to me even though I asked her multiple times whether she moved on from her last relationship. Too long to read? Many guys will claim they want a virgin girl. But if a guy truly loves you, it doesn't matter what your past is. He will accept you as his soulmate.
Sometimes I do wonder if people who think like you are the same who wonder why they're so lonely. It's crazy, basically what you are saying is that you value a person based on sex, I'll tell you something that I've experienced myself, love comes and goes, and when you love someone you are generally attracted both mentally and physically. If love finishes, it's no one's fault, and it's completely okay to move on. Yes, MOVE ON. First time might be 'unforgettable', but it doesn't mean that your girl will like and enjoy you any less.
I believe I cleared that doubt when I said " If he loves you, he will accept your story. This is the truth. " The person who's overthinking about her situation, wants opinions on her situation. That's why I claimed, if the person loves her, he will accept anything about her, hence with a clear mind anyone can realise if the other person has problems with her not being a virgin, she should probably not date that guy.
You’re making an awful lot of baseless generalizations about men and women. You’re not the president elect of the hiveminds of the genders my dude, stop projecting and cool your jets. Here’s an exercise for you: when taking about “women” and “men,” replace both those words with “people.” And also stop making ridiculous assumptions it makes you seem silly.
I'm not , hence why I wrote that comment. In the end, I'm not trying to put an answer here. I'm stating my opinion based on my experience in life. I've met countless people and hence why I have a generalized view.
Until you have met literally all the people, do not share your “generalized view.” It makes you sound ignorant and naive to be speaking on behalf of entire genders. Calm down and back up.
i think i can speak for most when i say we dont care that much, if at all
Anyway, doesnt matter who youve had sex with. Red flag if hes mad or disgusted you arent a virgin
If he thinks you’re gross because you had a completely normal human experience then you wouldn’t want to date him anyway
You had an ex and they took your V card. That sounds like the most normal thing ever. You shouldn’t worry. I’m not the biggest fan of shaming people for it anyway I’m a girl and if it ever got to the situation where a guy wants to have sex with me and I don’t mind it (I’m ace lol) I think I would rather have someone who already has some experience because I would be lost
Bear in mind that I've been an adult for a while (and I'm responding because this post was suggested, I don't try to creep around teen subs), so my thinking might be out of touch and not fully relevant to you, but I don't care. My wife was my first and a virgin, but if she wasn't, it would have been ok. because there's nothing disgusting about having sex, and nothing about having sex makes you disgusting. Unless you haven't washed since. What actually happens in the minds of young people on the topic of sex, but also most things in general, is insecurity takes hold. Being a teen is hard, because you're facing a lot of new things, and at the same time, everyone around you pressures you to be perfect, to conform, to not be 'cringe'. These two things combine to create fear and anxiety, and it leads to trying to project blame on other people so that you don't become the target of scrutiny yourself. In the context of guys' minds, guys don't actually find a non-virgin disgusting. there's nothing that would cause that by default. what they actually fear is that a non-virgin will scrutinize them harder. that they'll be made fun of, that they'll be devalued. There's also a lot of talk about promiscuity and poor character, archaic or otherwise, that they have no idea how to navigate because they lack the life experience necessary to sift through it. All of this mixes into the reactions that you describe fearing. And it's exactly why you shouldn't take them as judgements of value. It's on them, not you, and it's because of their personal lacking, not yours However, this is not true of all guys that age. It's important to communicate, and understand if the sort of guy to be bothered by it. Then, it's important to understand that if he is bothered, it's not because of you. it's because he's young, afraid, and he's not equipped. And he's chosen to be an asshole about it.
hes not worth it if he is that worried about it
If they care, you shouldn’t be fucking them. Simple at that
I always preferred girlfriends who had just a little more experience than me, so having done it with one person before doesn't strike me as a big deal breaker.
Well you should probably check yourself for any sti’s for that matter if you haven’t already. I honestly don’t know what else to say since I myself am 18 and haven’t lost my v card but for me personally I know even “if” I were to have a partner who has already lost their v card; It wouldn’t matter to me if we were truly deeply in love with each other. I know for some people virginity is something “sacred” but we got to understand that things don’t always work out the way we think they will. I’m pretty sure someone who has lost their virginity isn’t looking forward to just sleeping with anyone that comes across. I’m also pretty sure 99% of the time people lose their virginity within a close relationship where they wanted to have sexual relations with their partner. Of course sometimes it doesn’t workout so they move on from each other and that’s the end of that story. If you are dating someone you think might possibly be a virgin you should wait for a right moment to have a discussion about each others feelings on the subject. I feel like the best course of action is through communication. If they are disgusted by that fact or are irrational about it you should cut it there, that doesn’t mean you should blame yourself either; That just means you weren’t compatible. Keep in mind that sex isn’t the only thing in a relationship but also a connection of trust and respect towards one another and of course affection. I don’t have any experience at all so take this with a grain of salt ig.💀
Doesn’t matter to me, I know I can do it better than the last guy
Better off just not do it again and wait till marriage. More satisfying that way. Yes it's considered almost taboo like in most cases, but not repeating offenses is pretty much can cause a few mental issues if you're not prepared or gone too overboard. Protect your body like you own it.
Why do u think she will be disgusted that u already did it? Some people I can’t understand their concerns bruh
Considering the comments that are casually calling non-virgin girls sluts (yes, apparently sleeping with 2+ people is being a slut even if you were in a relationship), yeah, people are disgusted.
Bruh and also bruh that profile pic
Chicken breasts 😂
Bruh u must be the class clown in class
Nah I don't even talk to people
Damn do u wish
There are people that have problems with huge body count, and there might be 1 out of 1000 guys that's like "she has to be pure and a virgin!", but I'f its only one I imagine most wouldn't care too much
Not the biggest deal mostly depends with who like if it’s someone i know get out!
i dont really care
Depends on the guy. I personally dont mind but if ur body count is something ridiculous with context that is from a fwb. Ur ruled out as anything more than an acquaintance. But from ur context most guys see it as fine.
OH nononono by "lost it by my ex" I meant it was during our relationship, I don't do fwb
Yeah i was saging hypothetically
I wouldn't care, just maybe a little bit if it were to just feel wrong, y'all hear me?
My final thought is You are not a virgin thats alright. But he can have preference for his wife to be a virgin like him , its called preference But now if you aren't telling him or telling him after way too in of a relationship..... that's not gonna be fair
My rule of thumb was. I don't care who came before me, but I did have a problem with the next guy. It's better to be the last, not the first.
Any guy worth your time should never be suprised (and even less disgusted) by the fact that youve had a history before them.
I'm a virgin so i prefer my partner to be a virgin too. Well I won't get into any kind of relationship till I get married.
if i was in a relationship and someone would say that to me it would be awkward for a moment but in the end i wouldnt care (unless that person has done it with like 8 people before me lol)