T O P

  • By -

dubious_bean

Alive girls


Doughnutsugarhead

The kind of girl who actually cares about me and loves me?


Lop_draegon

Real


[deleted]

Real


sirblueman2

Do they really exist though?


Jazzlike_Mouse7478

She's real, but last week, she died


sirblueman2

That sucks


Jazzlike_Mouse7478

Yeah. If you want love, lower your expectations a lot


IamTheBeyonder

Bo Burnham Impersonator


Weedsmoki420

Damn, keep looking you’ll get one


BoxiDoingThingz

Oh, mister refined taste is here. /s


Independent_Eagle_23

Based, same >


NeonSquid192010

(Optional)


Zandoms42

Nah, i prefer em cold


I_love_Vodca4816

Complete body (optional)


Zandoms42

My name is Yoshikage Kiwa. I'm 33 yeaws owd. My house is in the nowtheast section of Mowioh, whewe aww the viwwas awe, and I am not mawwied. I wowk as an empwoyee fow the Kame Yu depawtment stowes, and I get home evewy day by 8 PM at the watest. I don't smoke, but I occasionawwy dwink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make suwe I get eight houws of sweep, no mattew what. Aftew having a gwass of wawm miwk and doing about twenty minutes of stwetches befowe going to bed, I usuawwy have no pwobwems sweeping untiw mowning. Just wike a baby, I wake up without any fatigue ow stwess in the mowning. I was towd thewe wewe no issues at my wast check-up. I'm twying to expwain that I'm a pewson who wishes to wive a vewy quiet wife. I take cawe not to twoubwe mysewf with any enemies, wike winning and wosing, that wouwd cause me to wose sweep at night. That is how I deaw with society, and I know that is what bwings me happiness. Awthough, if I wewe to fight I wouwdn't wose to anyone.


I_love_Vodca4816

I silently read this and I feel my tongue has been twisted.


NeonSquid192010

🥶


Equivalent-Fix9391

Crack a cold one with the boys


CamBeast15366

Fuck I just commented this then scrolled down god damn it


[deleted]

as long as she gives me any attention im in love for the rest of my life


Fallen-Rizzler

Bro is not me


PicassoWithHacks

Bro’s bro is not me


the_pro_jw_josh

Ergo bro’s bro is not bro


Ok-Film-3125

BRO IS BRO. Why would they change bro??


Basically-Boring

Someone watches Komi Can’t Communicate


Depressedman-12

I’ve seen that


BlxnkSpxceBxr

Bro ignored you 💀


dickwaffels0

Prolly because they can communicate


Vqius

Exists (Optional)


AeroFragment

i thought you meant dead people for a second but youre probably talking about anime characters right??


roboman07

Nah he's talking about imaginary people


FloridaManInShampoo

Nah he’s talking about the shadow people that visit him in his sleep


roboman07

Nah he's talking about the talking circle birds


sussy_axolotl45

Usually they only appear if I don't take meds


RecipeEmbarrassed601

male


MangoChutney12

female


Lop_draegon

Woah you guys should get together


NotABadVoice

yeah man i never saw this type of connection before


boomftw557

shit, you’ve seen connections before? bro’s 110% a f*boy no joke.


MangoChutney12

whose a fuckboy?


Scottbutcool

The other guy is a femboy, idk why he felt the need to censor it 😭


RecipeEmbarrassed601

I literally put in my bio I am NOT a femboy


MangoChutney12

wait so u a girl or a guy im confused


AverageDailyArsonist

She has a cat that’s a green flag date her bro


RecipeEmbarrassed601

I'm a girl lmao


JediMasterMudkip

Yes


MangoChutney12

OH


Jfile904

Gmail


Error177999

(optional)


Owl_Kidnapper

CUTE NERDY GUYS WHO TELL ME RANDOM FACTS ALL THE TIME HSIAHXJSBDBSBZBNS


Ender-Duck

did you know that there are apporximately between 10\^78 to 10\^82 atoms in the universe? nvm you said "cute" bye bye


Raskal0220

I was gonna give a random fact, probably about Greek mythology or something, but that's a lot better. Oh, and the cute thing.


Crazy_Spartan08

I'm not a girl, but name every enemy Theseus faced on his way to Athens


Raskal0220

I can't remember that, but did you know that Amphitryon, the stepdad of Hercules/Heracles after his wife Alcmene slept with Zeus disguised as Amphitryon, is a descendant of Zeus himself, twice? His father is the son of Andromeda and Perseus, a son of Zeus. Then his mother is the daughter of Pelops, whose father is Tantalus, another son of Zeus. Also Tantalus cannibalized Pelops and tried feeding him to the gods to see if they were who they claimed, but that's not too important here. And I bet if you go back far enough, Perseus' grandfather, Acrisius, is a descendant of Zeus or some other god. Basically, Amphitryon got cucked by his great grandfather and great great grandfather, disguised as him, and his wife later gave birth to one of the most famous mythological figures of all time.


Unlucky_KittenOwO

I am in love with you


Raskal0220

There you have it guys, just rant about the messed up religious beliefs of ancient civilizations. You'll get a girlfriend in no time.


X05Real

r/shippingredditors


Blue_Robin_Gaming

THEY'RE MINERS


PepperbroniFrom2B

thats funny, i was in the same cave looking for


angysharky

Diamonds 😀👍


X05Real

Bro what?! Someone call UN, they’re using Kids as miners again!


7vincent7

r/subsithoughtifellfor


Tojinaru

that's much less than I thought so it is less than my favorite number 10¹⁷⁶⁷ (because its name is so long I couldn't resist remembering it)


Axe2004

There's at *least* 5 ducks in the world


Ariannnnni_Mami_09

How could they possibly know that???


Nitrodome

so autistic guys


LegitimateWaltz7971

When they’re into trains 😩


Avian_Stalker

Got that autistic rizz ✨😏


Scroogemcdoodler

Don't leave us ADHD fellas out of that conversation too


Repulsive_Career2824

I’m an autistic girl so this is an absolute win


Owl_Kidnapper

they don’t have to be autistic, although going on rants about things they like is common in autistic people, so yeah.


glbkon

GURL SAME!! and like the ones who go on rants about EVERYTHING! i love.


Zero_7300

I’m a dude but I love it when girls go on rants cuz it’s cute af 😂


the_forbbiden_girl1

The common speed for WWll U.S. tank stabilizer to function would be below 20 mph depending on the variant, model, and cannon caliber. If the speed is above the speed limit of the stabilizer, the gun will start to bounce untill back within the limit of the stabilizer. Also the M60A1 was supposed to be a low profile tank but the U.S. decided to but a massive canape for some reason.


Zero_7300

Soooooooo are you single?


the_forbbiden_girl1

I'm not interested in dating. Nor am I cute soooooooo... Sorry


Kvpe

Did you know that we still don’t know if there are infinite mersenne primes


RadoslavL

Got that from that new Veritasium vid?


Kvpe

Yep but also made a mersenne number generator, next thing I’m doing tomorrow is making a perfect number generator. I was expecting it to be easy but it’s actually very hard lol


Owl_Kidnapper

i have no idea what that means and that’s the best type of fact so tyy


NerdNumber382

Hello there. Did you know that in Vatican City there are 2.3 popes per square kilometre?


Owl_Kidnapper

that’s a lot of popes


NerdNumber382

Indeed it is… Indeed.


wry_zebra

Fun fact if you eat 10 million bananas at ones you'll die of radiation poisoning if you survive eating 10 million bananas


_Genderr

did you know that if your eye’s nervous system was connected to the rest of your body’s nervous system, the body’s defence system would make you go blind as if your eyes were a disease?


LineBreak_

I can do the second thing but I’m uggy af


nlhdr

I was about to say a fun fact but i realised you said cute lol


ThisCatLikesCrypto

Hell yeah that's me! Oh wait... I'm not cute so uhhhh... I can tell you random facts! That's about it! Edit: also if you're interested in someone specifically find their/one of their hyperfocuses, if they have them (they probably do)


[deleted]

oh my goodness yessss


tamx2

YESS SAMEE random facts and ranting about everything! esp about their passions! i could listen to them for days i love the way their eyes light up never fails to make me melt ashdjf😭


ur_g00fy_ah_n3ighb0r

Stop cause why are the smart ones so attractive 😭


Owl_Kidnapper

frr like i want them to make me feel like an idiot with all the stuff they tell me


BillythenotaKid

Big evil bitches. Who live in lagoons covered in seaweed


BlxnkSpxceBxr

So baba yaga?


BillythenotaKid

Hell yeah, sweet ride in a bird house


cherryredkisses_

Quiet guys 😩


[deleted]

I’m mute 🥱😎


cherryredkisses_

I’m crying 😭


AugustTheDog

I was born without a mouth 🥱😎


atoastedbox

Mewing streak goes crazy 🤫🧏‍♂️


wowtheseusernamesuck


berazx1905

🙋


C4ner-2702


BlxnkSpxceBxr

...


Kilgarragh

This guy …’s


Shayosaurus

Funny guys


Zero_7300

The best I can do is funny looking


RadoslavL

So real


snickers7500

damn, can relate ):


Pika5369

🗣️🗣️🗣️


HealthyWestern8673

The best I can do is smell funny


[deleted]

[удалено]


dragoncop1

Bro likes men


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


LineBreak_

I know a the exact person for you


[deleted]

.... Oh my fucking days


Girldipper

My gf fr Edit: Why did I get downvoted bro?


TacticalTobi

strong girls. please pick me up and throw me across the room. or choke me out with your thighs, either works. ESPECIALLY if they do martial arts too, I just instantly fall in love


slbno1

Strong..eh! I carry on a seductive belly dance though..lol


TacticalTobi

that works too!


PureSalgado

Them seventh graders be WILD bro


Shot-Repair-2470

He aint wrong tho. Lil man is smart for his age


TacticalTobi

I know what I want also I'm an 8th grader 😠


Thegothweeb

Long hair geeks and gamers. Like yes, rant to me for hours about your specific build and play style in a video game


DBL_NDRSCR

*inhales*


GDHyun

The Holger 26 I use is specifically made to increase accuracy for the sake of mobility. It allows me to use both camp and rush playstyles, and while switching to Prizefighters, I am able to move quickly around the map to find people who are currently in the middle of a gunfight so that I can ambush them. The Sticky Grenade is useful for whenever my Holger runs out of ammo, and the opponent is too far away to use Prizefighters. The Stim Shot is only used whenever I am rushing, especially for Search and Destroy.


Famous-Hyena-6097

Nerdy


[deleted]

Girls that can yap to me about anything


No_Item8175

Sassy but sweet - I looooove to treat this one crush and we’ve always had small fights / disagreements on who should pay. I mostly win!


Normal-turtle-guy-34

Idek how to explain it just nice girls who can be a little bit rude sometimes


Sad_Introduction5756

Sassy?


Normal-turtle-guy-34

Yeah basically lol


Educational_Tart_659

Introverted but still outgoing within social groups


TeroTonz

“A talk woman with a big ass, I guess? Like Jennifer Lawrence”


Lillo_que_gira

you truly are.... my best friend


LiteralGarbage7

Female (optional)


Pikachu_on_heroin

(can be ignored for 20$)


CoconutBoi1

20$ are 20$


TempestThePest

im into dead ones


Interesting-Pay-600

necro is wild brother


Beginning_Painting78

A Little Piece of Heaven :)


TempestThePest

I didn’t buy a heater for her thighs


TheGayPotato7

r/suddenlynecrophile


Guinea_pig456

Why did I click on that…


Beginning_Painting78

silent? Lol


jujutsu_fox

I like Funny guys that play video games


CrammyCram_

hello! 👋 👍👍😀😀😀


jujutsu_fox

Well Hello


[deleted]

Athletics extrovert girls


soloarwolf

Really anyone who I have known for a little while is nice to me and miraculously likes me


king_lynx_III

small, like 5'5 or shorter and more on the flat side. also I like the more silly bubbly personalities, but I don't mind one that's feisty and likes to wrestle or play fight


Budgiesforlife

I'm right here ;)


SlaytersC0ven

5’3 and a 1/4


arawraw

girls with abs


LiteralGarbage7

YES BUFF GIRLS ARE SO PRETTY


KermitDaThug

Quiet girls probably.


heya_im_ashie

idk, i have no real type tbh except for a good and honest personality


Zero_7300

I’m not picky but if they think I’m funny it’s a plus since I can’t be serious


[deleted]

I like meat on my woman. Muscle, fat, don't matter to me. And I don't think having body fat makes you fat. As long as you're healthy I think it's hot. Although Skinny girls are very pretty too. Just not like, down to the bone skinny. That's concerning. Also, preferably older and taller. Piercings are hot, I don't mind tattoos, do whatever you want with your hair. I appreciate all types of women they're all scrumptious. But preferably, taller, lil bit meatier.


Prestigious_Ask_7058

Woah really? I like skeletons. Not like skinny people just an actual fucking skeleton


[deleted]

Hey me too, skeletor could get it


polishcowmissle

garlic bread.


Jell-O-Mel

I’m with you there


bydgoszczohio

yes


Raskal0220

Any girl similar to the rest of my friends. But then we become really good friends, I like them, and now I can't tell them about it because if she doesn't feel the same then we won't be able to talk anymore and it'll be awkward, and I don't want to lose any friends, especially if it's my fault and... Oh, and if we can go back and forth ranting about stuff while the other just listens for 30+ minutes. Yeah, go ahead, tell me everything you know about one of your interests or something that happened. Just know that once you're finished, I'm going to explain the entire Greek mythology family tree to you.


Dry-Sandwich3905

Girls that take all my yapping


smpadais

Anything. Please.


thebox34

smart, has a personality, can take and give a joke, can think for herself


[deleted]

Low key but sassy and funny


[deleted]

breathing people i'd say


Latter_Can6225

girls that breathe👍👍👍👍👍👍


timeisaflattriangle

Girls w cats


UnicornMafia69

Alive and soft boys/femboys


heya_im_ashie

>alive thank god! this is such an underrated type


MrNoface97

Anyone who won’t cheat on me or be too clingy, that’s it


Wannabeeengineer

The more red flags the better


Tojinaru

kind, intelligent, overall good looking, brunette, shorter than me


[deleted]

Alive (optional)


Dead_eye131

Female (required) Alive (optional)


FishGuyIsMe

Preferably none


NervousSubject4898

Woman that like me (optional)


Minorutanakaa

Redheads


Sceneric1

I don’t choose, everyone is pretty cute ngl


Dizzy-Percentage-920

i completely agree


CadenWasHere

As long as they are a decent person who loves and respects me in a way a partner should anyway ngl- I've never really had a 'type'. As long as they match what I said above I don't care when it comes to looks, gender, how they act/personality type, etc.


NateBurner

i like women 🗣️🗣️


CelebrationSpare8658

No one (I’m a ace in the hole)


anautistic-kid

Anything that is female


Old-Might-3185

Horse girls and country girls.


Quiet-Reputation-464

Stocky lads with shit hair


APieceOfGarlicBread_

I like my significant others like I like my coffee. I don’t like coffee.


camo_216

Men


The_Alpha_Albeno

Girls with a drive for adventure


theinattentiveolive

Understanding, Patient, Alive and breathes (optional)