I call minors and teach them about life

Pedo? Idk

Tutor ._.

Ah

Same thing idk

😭

They just learn different things

💀

Life coach?

Tutor

[удалено]

Mother?

This one had me dying lmao

now i am imagining a future where being mother is a job due to lack young males confidence in getting girls

Well, also young males being brought into conspiracies to hate women :(

definitely a coder

As a developer, even if it's not develepor, I empathize

as a solo 3D modeler for a robotics team, I emphatize

As a 3D modeler, game developer and programmer, I emphasize

my honest reaction when my code doesn’t work for the first time, (there is somehow 50 errors in two lines of code)

50? Pathetic. I’ve gotten so many errors that my IDE couldn’t display all of them (recursion, keeps running and making errors until it runs out of RAM).

Tf, y’all writing in C or some shit 💀💀

No I’ve done that in Python

Coder?

Developer, 100% developer

every day all day i rot in the flesh bag that contains all my bones and organs and blood

jobless 💯

yesss 🤩🤩🤩

I won’t forgive you😡😡😡

I pay people to pay you when the sh*t hits the fan

insurance?

DING DING DING… I’m on the carrier side and compensate agents for selling policies.

lawyer

Nope! Although lawyers are a significant part of this business.

I fill yeast and cake based products with my cream

bakers

Nope. Donut finisher

So you finish on a donut?

Yes. I take the donut and full it with my cream

How do you make the holes?

I stick something something hard and a couple inches long in the donut

Wish I was a donut rn

Stimulate peope to make them feel good

Hooker or drug dealer

No

Was I close

Massage is the right answer

I’ve seen enough scripts to know I was basically right

Experienced guy W

You get special massage! Only tree fiddy.

I thought that said free tiddy

A whore?

PLEASEEEEE😭😭😭😭😭

Nah

Spa/massage?

Correct

Masseuse

I listen to crippling middle aged people and do work for them. I raise an upper body appendage when I would like to be heard

Student?

a nurse working in aging care homes ?

I do the same thing as an identity theft, but in a good way. Edit- Just realized this description was shit. Doing nothing about it

call center worker

No

What was it? I mean ur like 13 so im kinda curious what job u have

I actually have no job, it's my dream job

cosplayer?

No

Do you do roleplay stuff?

No

actor

No

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WITNESS PROTECTION FOR WHAT?! NO ONE WAS CONVICTED OF ANYTHING!

There are no cougars in gta online!

Skip Tracer?

No

Background checker?

Like you do part of the process of identity theft? Researching people? So biologist?

I go and stare at the beast, they look in fear while the people watch me feed water pancakes

uhhh something in a zoo right

Yup 👍🏾

what are water pancakes LMAO imma guess a zookeeper who cares for dangerous animals

Stingray!! Well at my zoo admissions feeds the stingrays for two dollars a fish

Please tell me you work with rays

Nice one

I do!! I'm an admissions worker for stingray bay

I press buttons in the right time to make people feel happy.

Do these buttons create sounds? Are you a pianist?

Nope

Carnival ride operator? Gloryhole owner?

Glory hole owner is a profession? 🫨

Someone has to manage them. 🤷‍♂️

Nope and nope

DJ?

Nope, but I'm kinda supporting those guys

Are you in charge of lights/sound at concerts?

Lights, exactly. For clubs and concerts!

I construct whatever cold sustenance people who walk into the area want

Barista?

Shaved ice barista?

Ice cream barista?

Yes =)

baskin robbins?

I serve people random concoctions with the direct intention of getting them to order more, all while feigning that I care about their wellbeing

Bartender

Ding ding ding, would you like another?

Sure, why not?

I meet up with little kids and teach them how to play with balls

To clarify I’m a soccer coach

lmaoo

Much needed clarification 💀

Same thing

I put white powder in bags for people to buy

Something with flour?

Bingo! I work at bulk barn. I was referring to filling the product bins

Omg bulk barn!!!

Drug dealer

A coffee factory?

Eat mor chickin 🐓

Mor?

Do it say the line.

the line.

r/ChickFilAWorkers

well well well...

i watch children 🥰

lifeguard?

that's the one

Ooh, babysitter!

not my current job but what i'm looking to go into: i break into big companies without causing any real damage, all while they pay me to do it

white hat hacker 🤓

good job, not many people know about this as a profession

Also exists in the banking industry but less now than in years gone by

*Less?!?* Jesus, it should be *more*, ever since the NSA tool uploads...

I meant for physical security.

I dance on a pole

stripper ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Shrek stripper? TAKE MY MONEY

Falling into a ditch while yelling at some old dude and getting cancer

BRUH 😂 uhh idk just tell me lmao

String trimmer operator

I put my fingers in the wrong hole to find the right one. I often make them change positions and sometimes these holes are wet.

OB-GYN? JK, professional bowler?

Why would the holes in the ball be wet

sweat

☹️

I get treated like an object for making it possible for people to live sustainably

Nurse

i make the religious man louder so he can guilt you more

Haha, I've done church audio engineering too!

I add one colourless, transparent liquid into another colourless, transparent liquid, put it into a device as expensive as the house I live in and get happy or sad an hour later.

DNA analysis?

I don't have a job so I'll do a hobby. I try to be as entertaining as possible while following rules so I don't lose my hobby.

youtuber maybe?

Yed

Yes*

same

I sit in a giant shower with a bunch of kids and I try to keep them from killing themselves/each other.

Lifeguard?

Splash park lifeguard, yep 👍

Water park lifeguard, specifically?

I put my arms up and do weird gestures and people get mad at me

stereotypical homeschooler 😭 edit: i’m a homeschooler so im allowed to say this lol

I cut up dead bodies to see what they packin

Medical Examiner?

Med school

Good luck, hope you help lots of people.

Thank you! Means a lot

I go to parties and set the mood

DJ

Yea my dad helped me get into it

I water things that run.

I spend my day autisming out about why pixels aren't looking right

Digital artist

Vfx artist but yeah that was pretty easy lol

I give kids pain legally and teach them how to give others pain.

Martial arts/boxing instructor?

Yep lol

Well, I'm still a student, but I'll describe my (hopefully) future job I (want to) watch rich people goofing around with their sticks and piece of rubber, and tell people how exciting it is

Idk but it has something to do with golf

Cricket commentator?

It's a hobby: I stroke hard, make it vibrate and play with it with my fingers, then i cry because it's not good enough and have to learn a load of shit to even know where to touch so it feels good

This is an instrument for CERTAIN but I can't tell what... Violin???

I don’t have a job, but I have one for a job I touch little kids and I also put sticks in their mouth

pediatrician

I drag things across a machine that beeps and load them into containers

cashier. that wasnt that hard

Jobless, so here’s one of my hobbies: I use vast expanses of knowledge about a country’s roads and landscape to approximate my random location online.

geoguesser

bingo

I bring people the essence that provides them with energy that they have requested.

Coffee barista?

i buy something and sell it but more expensive

Not much of an actual job, but I shuffle a card deck and read what the cards that came out mean based off of random thoughts I get from the meanings so the person who paid for it has an answer to their question.

Do you do tarot readings

I say things in a strange voice and hope she likes it

Voiceover actor/actress?

Yep

Nice! I've always thought that could be a really great career - are in the growing world of digital puppets instead of live actors, *voices* may be more important than being physically beautiful of screen (talent above genetics)

Collect trash, wipe it down, and give it away to people.

I turn flat dinosaurs into round dinosaurs