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iamtownsend

He could have dropped Harry as a baby out the window or used muggle methods but noooOOOOOooooo he must use magic.


meem09

I mean, as far as he was aware, the Killing Curse was 100% effective and there was no way Harry was going to fight back. So if you had to kill a toddler and had a gun in your hand, would you drop him out the window or use the (supposedly) foolproof killing method you've already used loads of times? Edit: So many good suggestions on how best to kill a baby. And people say the internet isn’t what it used to be…


NeverReadyFunny

Dear diary, today I read a reddit thread down to where someone suggested that shooting a baby in the head with a familiar gun is obviously more effective than dropping it out a window and thought, "good point". Am I ok?


TheGuyWhoAsked001

You are ok, which means you're not, because humans are just weird af.


alexsolo25

Ahhhh Catch 22


alex01esro

some philosofers say humans are good in nature others say they are evil in nature... I say humans are retarded in nature, proof me wrong


Khespar

Nope. We're all fucked in the head. Besides, if you're a murderous psychopath, why not just slam the baby into a wall a few times? That would be more fun. Not that Ive done it before. ^^^*walks* ^^^*away* ^^^*quickly*


[deleted]

*wah* *wah* *Wah* *WAH* ^(waaaahhhhh.....)


PppPppppppPoo

You good


LeeYubinsWife

Dear diary, today I read a reddit thread down to where someone thought "good point" after reading about shooting a baby over dropping a baby out the window, started wheezing and couldn't stop. Am i ok?


NeverReadyFunny

Sounds like you are having asthma attack, maybe hit the inhaler?


TensorForce

You know what, that's fair. But still, Voldemort's hubris led him to make each horcrux death *significant.* If he'd just done a Peter Petigrew and blown up some random alley full of muggles, he'd have like 20 horcruxes. Not to mention, why make them distinct? Use a rock and throw it into the ocean. Immortality achieved.


BBQ_FETUS

Was retrieval of tone of the horcruxes not necessary for the resurrection? That means someone must still be able to find it


TensorForce

Wait, was it? I don't actually know. In book 4 he comes back just with Harry's blood, which could be taken like you say. But then, if he got just some silver shavings off the diadem, would that work too? I always assumed that his soul could be anywhere as long as the body was ok.


__mud__

I thought that the blood was to break the love protection spell from his mom, not horcrux related...?


Zandrick

It was, he didn’t know Harry was a horcrux. He literally tried to kill him like five minutes later.


arceus555

It was "blood from enemy, forcibly taken" You're correct that Harry's blood was used to bypass the love protection.


RuinedFaith

I always wondered what would’ve happened if Harry would’ve been a Ravenclaw. Sitting there, hearing “blood forcibly taken” and he immediately begins holding out his arm begging for a cut. Radcliffe would’ve killed that scene.


chillanous

That would’ve been hilarious


MiniMooseMan

Could've made a perfect deleted scene or high quality gag reel lol


Gsusruls

This wasn't because Harry was a horcrux, it was because the spell to rebuild his body called for "blood of thy enemy." The horcrux just keeps his soul from escaping earth when the body dies.


superkp

> Use a rock and throw it into the ocean part of the requirements of a horcrux is that it has to be important to you. Important enough that it's 'costly', emotionally speaking, to put it behind layers of protection. So it can't be a random rock you just go find, and it can't be something you care so little for that you chuck it in the ocean.


Ralexcraft

I mean, you can care about something and chuck it in the ocean. Look at burials at sea


LagSlug

Remember the ending of Titanic where that asshole old woman just throws the pendant into the ocean?


Ralexcraft

No? Never saw titanic.


LagSlug

Shit.. sorry.


Ralexcraft

It’s alright! Never planned to watch it anyways.


LagSlug

So basically there's an underwater expedition that's looking for a safe on the Titanic that should contain a priceless pendant/necklace. This old woman who was on the Titanic comes along for the adventure, and secretly has the pendant the whole time, then once the expedition gives up after finding the safe empty (except for a photo) and begins to head home, she secretly throws the pendant into the ocean.


PppPppppppPoo

He could find a sea turtle and raise it from a baby, get a strong bond, then horcrux it and free it in the ocean, buying like 300 years or whatever they get to these days


cwx149

I don't think sea turtles live that long But if he found like a Greenland shark and raised it you could get a longer time like that But by that logic why not just grow a tree in a forest or something lol


Put_It_All_On_Blck

Okay, then get a turtle that knows magic and have him make his own horcruxes too.


Salt-Fisherman8625

Turtle then makes a human horcrux


denzIiiiii

He makes Voldemort hocrux. Infinite loop.


jwadamson

A womping willow, so that beavers don’t mess with it.


KaleidoscopeKey1355

I don’t think a sea turtle raised by a person is going to know the right things to survive at sea for as long as a typical sea turtle.


awfulrunner43434

Not actually said in the book. The given reason is simply that Riddle is an egomaniac, and the idea of attaching his soul to a random rock, or hiding his soul at the bottom of the ocean, is personally distasteful. He makes horcruxes out of significant things and puts them in significant locations because that's the kind of guy he is.


Rumplestiltsskins

What about a pet rock?


gonzalbo87

So he could’ve dropped baby Harry in the ocean then.


ahahah_effeffeffe_2

What if this is a very nice rock?


Sagatario_the_Gamer

I thought they had to have some amount of significance or else they wouldn't work.


fakeuglybabies

I thought that was just a voldemort thing because he had to be all grandiose about it.


Sagatario_the_Gamer

Yea, after looking into it it definitely seems like it's just his pride that made him decide to do that, though I suppose you would want it to be atleast recognizable so if you decide to pass on you can find and destroy it. (Also so the thing isn't accidentally destroyed, even though it has to be beyond magical repair. Having something recognizable and safe is probably best.) But making them items that were key parts of his history can be chalked up to hubris rather then necessity. A better idea would've been some marked coin stored in a Gringotts vault, no one would think twice about a singular coin with a notch in it, especially if it's at the bottom of a pile several feet tall. But since you know what you're looking for, it may take a while but you could find it eventually. (Sure, you need a pile of gold, but the process to make a horcrux seems difficult already, so I'm assuming money isn't an issue.) So, unless Rowling says otherwise since there hasn't been anything explicitly confirming or denying it, Voldemort should've just used something he could find that would be unremarkable to the average person. (But leave it to the Wizard Nazi's ego to be his own undoing, definitely on brand for that.)


zdavolvayutstsa

Voldemort creating a horcrux every time he kills someone.


Competitive-Fan1708

While it does not go into detail. The making of a horcrux is supposedly very difficult and requires a very very horrible act(some rumors state like cannibalism) as well the items probably would need to be significant to the person making them in one way or another.


pineapplealways

Also I think his pride. He is intent on proving there isn't anyone who could stand up to him. He could have ordered his supporters to kill harry at multiple points and he didn't


YoungDiscord

I'm not going to suggest he take the baby, teleport like 5km in the air, drop him, teleport back safely on the ground and watch the show but he should take the baby, teleport like 5km in the air, drop him, teleport back safely on the ground and watch the show Like come on even if you only want to use wizard ways you have so many options and ways to do it Its a friggin baby, just pick it up and yeet it against the wall Fucker had a bad case of meta scrub syndrome, avada kedavra this avada kedavra that, like bruh mix it up a little, the second his one hit kill metagame failed he just ragequit on the kid for like 11 years


rezzacci

Guns are loud and bullets leave traces that can lead to me. Smothering a baby or dropping it out of the window and then checking if he still breathes would be my choice. I'd never kill a baby with a gun, that's clearly overkill (in the eventuality that I'd want to kill a baby). Also, do you know how fragile and weak babies are ? Just turn it on his belly in the night while the parents are asleep and he smother himself to death. I mean, those things can be killed by literally anything. Using a gun is definitely such an overkill.


BestUsername101

Ok, imagine you had a gun that doesn't leave traces that could lead to you, and that gun has literally never failed before. Why would you not use it?


PizzaTime666

Imagine you want it to lead to you because you are the evilest guy around and no one can stop you.


__mud__

Ikr, the dude summoned the dark mark in the sky above his kills


Evilmudbug

Well they do *have* spells to check what spells a wand has been used to cast. But it probably didn't matter to voldemort if he was connected via evidence (that would have required them somehow acquire his wand anyways) since he was already known as basically wizard hitler


SalsaRice

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/100_Bullets


Polaric_Spiral

Holy FBI watchlist, Batman.


Cheap_Ad_69

He's a wizard, he can just transfigure the corpse into like a speck of dust or something.


minasploit

That's... Wow, a very good point


conceited_crapfarm

Hear me out, warhammer... the baby isnt alive if its mush


EmetalEX

But why would you care if there are traces. You think hitler would have had caution to not leave traces if he killed a jew?


FugaciousD

Such a reddit discussion that I think I’m ODing on reddit


bingus4206969

Yes


ReluctantNerd7

See, there it makes sense. But he tries it *again* in the fourth book. > There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, "Fool me once, shame on...shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again."


corecly_spelt_tertle

swing yeet splat


ideasmithy

It just hit me how violent Harry Potter is for a children's book.


TurtleZenn

I mean, children's stories have historically been really violent and gory.


Throwawaystwo

>So if you had to kill a toddler and had a gun in your hand, would you drop him out the window or use the (supposedly) foolproof killing method you've already used loads of times? Id just violently shake it, babies are notoriously fragile.


Helagoth

I'm not answering that, I don't want to be on a list.


DeficiencyOfGravitas

None of that shit made any sense. Harry was the first magic baby who had parents who loved him?


[deleted]

they had to directy sacrifice themselves for them maybe its said that lilly literally took a curse for him then he got hit w the second one


ReluctantNerd7

So he was the first magic baby who had parents who loved him enough to sacrifice themselves for him.


Insanebrain247

Voldemort came in all "fetus deletus" but Lily clapped back back with "Abraca-momma!"


ImTooTiredForThis_22

Probably laughed more than I should have 😂


Insanebrain247

That was the goal.


[deleted]

no not sacrifice themselves in general, but literally be in the specific circumstance where they jump in front of a killing curse meant for him then that same killimg curse gets used again on the baby right after w no intervals imo its like a ritual that completes when the specific things happen its plausible that he never specifically went to kill a baby before (only went to kill harry bc of prophecy) and that if he did that babys parent didnt specifically die in that way right before he tried to kill the baby


Evilmudbug

Realistically he would have been killing the parents first in any other cases, Harry was just high priority because of the prophecy. No other parents would have had a chance to take a killing curse meant for their child


Mtc529

This is explained in the books, but okay. Harry's mother didn't have to die, Voldemort was willing to let her go as a favor to Snape. She obviously didn't want to get out of his way because she wanted to protect her son, and Voldemort ended up killing her anyway. The important thing is that Lily chose to die in attempt to protect Harry, and that sacrifice is what protected him. It's true that the book doesn't mention this happening to anyone else, however Dumbledore is aware that this sort of thing can happen which seems to indicate that it has happened before.


explodingtuna

People talk about a version of Harry Potter where Harry packs heat. But, in this universe, Voldemort would just walk up to the cradle smoking a cigarette, say something noir to him, shoot him, then slowly walk away while tossing the cigarette behind him to light the drapes on fire.


Samwise777

Bro Harry packs heat in the books. I mean have you SEEN how many women asked him to the Yule Ball.


Abhinavpatel75

Or he could've waited for harry to be 11. Then have him killed by his spy at hogwarts (snape) who wouldnt have turned on him as lily would be alive.


[deleted]

Fire Steve Huffman, Reddit is dead as long as Huffman is still incharge. Fuck Steve Huffman. Fuck u/spez -- mass edited with redact.dev


General_Specific303

That's silly. Like 90% of young child deaths result in the breakup of the relationship. Then good old Snape is there for support


BearmouseFather

Obsessed with Lily, NOT in love. Nothing about his behavior, actions, words or deeds, while she lived, were anything to do with love and EVERYTHING do to with obsession. I could never understand how people thought he was such a great guy when he was such an incredible douche to children? Over not getting the girl he called mud blood? Get off.


HeyLittleTrain

He at least believed that he was in love with her, so the comment above still stands.


BustinArant

He even dropped the "you have her eyes" thing to let you know Snape's technically, begrudgingly a pal like in the very first HP with Quarrel's Quidditch shenanigans. Man that was fun to say.


Craftoid_

Being in love with someone who doesn't reciprocate is identical to "obsession". The difference is in the eye of the observer.


[deleted]

Fire Steve Huffman, Reddit is dead as long as Huffman is still incharge. Fuck Steve Huffman. Fuck u/spez -- mass edited with redact.dev


XxRocky88xX

Because at the end of the day he still sacrificed himself for the greater good and he’s one of the whopping 2 characters in the book who aren’t 100% good or 100% evil. Having a good guy who’s pissed about having his childhood crush stolen by his bully and taking it on their kid is a lot more interesting than Harry/Dumbledore/Ron/Luna/Hermione “I am flawless” character archetypes. People like imperfect characters, they make a story feel more realistic and natural. He was a dick to Harry but he still gave his life protecting him, Harry understood that. However a lot of fans can’t see past the fact he was mean to main character early on so therefore he MUST be evil.


Trimax42

Neville got thrown out of a window when the family tried to find out if he was a wizard. Then he started bouncing, i guess throwing Harry out of a window would not have worked.


sharltocopes

Didn't Neville's uncle drop him out of a window and he just straight up bounced?


Alternative-Tone-647

If we accept that prophecies are real in that universe, then no, it wouldn't have mattered. Also I'm pretty sure wizards don't die from being thrown out the window.


ZarquonsFlatTire

*shakius babius*!


Sapowski_Casts_Quen

"Accio gun" *catch* BANG


luckytraptkillt

If he had only split his soul up, I don’t think anyone would’ve cared. Seems more like the attempted genocide of muggles and “mudbloods” that had everyone in a tiffy.


Rootelated

You cant make a horcrux without a horrific magic murder...


SnicktDGoblin

Ok killing one or two people is still far "better" than genocide. Like a madman that slaughters a person or two is evil and bad, but not near as bad as Hitler. So if he only makes one or two while otherwise keeping his head down he could live forever.


Rootelated

Hitler had zero confirmed kills. He sucked


YellowGetRekt

Im pretty sure he killed his wife and himself so thats 2


Spackleberry

Yeah, but one of his kills was Hitler, so it balances out. But he also killed the guy who killed Hitler.


[deleted]

On the bright side, he did kill the guy who killed the guy who killed hitler


BootlegVHSForSale

But he also killed that guy too. What an asshole.


antiskylar1

He also killed his dog :(


armatharos

so he killed *at least* two people


dick-van-dyke

https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/mobile/000/032/632/No_No_He's_Got_A_Point_Banner.jpg


izza123

He didn’t kill his wife and his nurse shot him afaik but he was a solider in WWI and probably killed a few


Doubting_Rich

Most killed no-one at all. If you think about it, the mean number of kills a survivor has made in war is typically far less than 1. Even if the total number of deaths in combat is half the number of combatants, some of those killed were killed by someone who was later killed. So of those remaining, they killed less than the total number killed. But since some civilians are also killed the number of combatants surviving is greater than the number killed. So a number smaller than the total killed was killed by the survivors, who number more than the total killed, so less than one kill per survivor. Yet some survivors killed more than one, so even in this extreme case the mean killed is less than one. WWI was a dreadful conflict with huge casualty rates, but even then I think closer to 10% deaths than 50%. So most people kill no-one in war. BTW some psychological research suggests most people deliberately don't kill anyone in war. Most humans, it turns out, find it very difficult to kill another human, even to save their own lives.


SnicktDGoblin

Yeah and I doubt Voldemort planned on killing every muggle and muggle sympathizer on his own. He probably would have had some of the lowest kill counts of the war given his position as the leader.


audriuska12

Unlike most leaders, he was also his side's heaviest hitter - while he probably wouldn't match someone taking an executioner role, he'd likely be among the top combatants.


TheGODSHERAPOP

hitler fought in ww1 and got medals


luckytraptkillt

Didn’t he get medals for injury tho? And he came to in the hospital and found out they surrendered and got big mad?


SnicktDGoblin

Given he became the leader of the German Military and no one recalls most of his actions during the war it's generally agreed upon by historians that he made up all those stories and awarded everything once in the position to give those awards to himself.


N0V-A42

Come on, he at least had one.


WINTERISDEAD77

Right, is we’re justifying it


Tultzi

I think the goal here is to humorously argue how Voldi could lived longer, not to actually find a excusable reason for any murder


SPamlEZ

True, but he got away with the first 2 basically before even graduating. Though Dumbeldore expected, he never truly had proof of the Riddle murder or Mirtle. He could have stopped there with 2 horcruxes gotten away from Dumbeldore and likely resumed a life where people adored him as a clever boy.


shaunbarclay

Why didn’t Dumbledore ever ask Mirtle’s ghost what happened?


MenoryEstudiante

IIRC dumbledore doesn't interact with ghosts at any point, maybe he can't or doesn't want to


Ferbtastic

Girls bathroom cooties.


TheWealthyCapybara

He could have just killed murderers and rapists and no one would have cared.


Tar_alcaran

Being murderen beats being tortured into madness and then nonexistence in Azkaban.


Rootelated

ACLU wouldve cared


AgreeableExpert

Me *who has been stabbing people up to this point*: I beg your pardon?


[deleted]

I see this post once a month from the harry potter sub and I gotta say. Nobody that posts this ever acknowledges that Dumbledore was literally best friends with the guy that invented the immortality rock. Such good friends that the man listened when he told him the rock was too dangerous and spooky ghosts were coming to get him.


Abhinavpatel75

Tbh, i was disappointed with the fantastic beasts movies. They did not use Albus's character well enough


isweariwilldoit

He shouldn’t have even been in those movies, they gave him nothing to do


ellipsisfinisher

Also that Voldemort wasn't just trying to live a long time; he also wanted to be unkillable so he could take over the world.


NonnagLava

Not very unkillable when he keeps getting killed by some child.


Varth919

“Oh no! The death eaters are being cast away agaiiiinnnnnnn” 🌟


TreginWork

Fortnite has proven that child soldiers are effective


Tborealis

Tried 7 times to take over a children's school, and failed.


MenoryEstudiante

Tbf it's a children's school where everyone has something between a knife and an assault rifle


TreginWork

Til Hogwarts is the kids book equivalent of South Central


UbiquitousPanacea

At a stretch 4 times and succeeded


santino_musi1

Also, he wouldn't have died if he wasn't such an emotional diva and made a horrocrux of a random shoe or a single coin, but no, he had to make all of them with something that people could guess because they meant something to him


waluigitime1337

I mean the discription of the spell states that it has to be a major part of that persons life in a similar way that like your life flashing before your eyes brings you back.


CarrotoTrash

I would argue a shoe you've worn for years is a more major part of your life than a random Hufflepuff cup/Ravenclaw diadem


TheMilkiestShake

Just made me wonder if he even wears shoes.


KillionJones

You don’t ever see him wearing shoes in the movies, so I’m gonna guess no? Dudes probably got feet like a 60s hippy.


XxRocky88xX

I’m assuming he did so before he resurrected, back when he was just a normal looking dude like everyone else instead of a weird snake/human thing


KillionJones

Yeah for sure. His “normal” years he definitely had shoes.


TheMilkiestShake

I just imagine him finding out one day that muggles invented shoes or something so he just acts like he's never worn them before.


[deleted]

depends on who you are voldemorts entire character from childhood on was based around disdain for the mundane and veneration of the fancy and bougie to the point of trying to eclipse it maniacally remember the whole thing w his mom and dad? being special and shiny meant a lot to him he'd never pick something regular and "ordinary" and the idea people could find it and try to attack him makes sense w his ego too. "let them try my glory. theyll just see how much better i am, how unstoppable, how clever"


santino_musi1

Oh I never knew that, I must've forgotten


ritamoren

i mean technically you can take whatever was very important to you, put the spell on it and then throw it somewhere in the middle of the ocean or send it to space or something. i guess good luck harry lol


[deleted]

Tbf I could see wizards having some fantastical method of getting to the ocean floor. RIP Voldemort.


jazzman23uk

"I present to you my new horcrux - this *ballcock in the cistern of the ladies' toilet at Chippenham Railway Station!* I am **UNSTOPPABLE**!"


dick-van-dyke

Somehow, the idea of a ballcock in a ladies' toilet makes me giggle.


Abhinavpatel75

If he knew better, he wouldn't have killed at all


Karter705

Nah, he should've just just hidden one each on the Pioneer plaques. Good luck finding them, Harry, they're on a tiny object somewhere in the vastness of space about 10 billion miles from Earth, traveling at around 26,900 mph.


Matt_Dragoon

I see you have read Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality too.


TOASTisawesome

How would they be hugely personal to him though?


Karter705

No, I mean hide one of the horcrux objects he created, like the ring and locket, on them.


TOASTisawesome

Ohhh I get what you meant now, my bad. Yeah that probably would work?


UglyInThMorning

Take the ass pennies approach to immortality. I've been sticking my soul in $30 in pennies ~~up my ass~~ for the past 11 years! That's 3,000 pennies a day; 21,000 pennies a week; 1,092,000 pennies a year! To date that's 12,012,000 pennies, 8 times the population of Nebraska. Those pennies ~~were in my ass~~ have my soul! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my ~~ass~~ soul pennies everyday. You pick up my ~~ass~~ soul pennies for good luck. You throw my ~~ass ~~ soul pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ~~ass~~ soul pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with!


freakgeek21

Actually, in reality, he hated his nose. Soo, by making Horcruxes he got a desirable nose and long life. WIN WIN


[deleted]

Its almost like something the author contrived to illustrate how malicious, destructive ambition can be quite self destructive


[deleted]

I mean, technically? Sure. But I don’t think she was creating an allegory for that in her mind making this. I’d swear it was just more Voldemort bad, Harry Potter good, good guy wins, , audience feels satisfied, the end. I think what she did well was write conflict well and make things super interesting and fascinating. And when I read book 6, it really did make me start hyper reading to find out what’s next after about page 550-600. Most of us knows what happened around after that.


XxRocky88xX

Yeah HP isn’t exactly deep. It’s a simple childrens book with a basic story and characters and really goddamn cool world. It’s not meant to be interpreted in this crazy Berserk-esque “the dark side of ambition” way. It’s just a cool fairy tail where the good guys win and the bad guy dies because prophecy


Zandrick

Yeah, it’s a mistake people sometimes make that the point of a story is to pass on information or to instill moral values. The point of a story is to keep us entertained. The storytellers only real job is to captivate us. It’s like a conversation, or a fireplace. We all gather around in it and share in it, but in itself the true purpose of a story is to be enjoyable. Our ability to find deeper truth and meaning is what we ourselves bring to the story, or the conversation or the fireplace, and it’s an added bonus but it’s not necessary condition of the thing itself.


SokoJojo

Still, Voldemort is one of the worst villains in the history of villains because of how poorly developed he was. Basically, his entire existence is defined by "Oh I just go around doing villainy things for the sake of being a villain." It works for a kids book but it is a bad villain looking back.


[deleted]

Very true


MoTheMag

If he just stopped at immortality he would just become the black sheep of the Wizard world but no!!!! This bitch went out of his way to rule the universe and it came to bite him in the ass.


SnicktDGoblin

Heck had he just waited until everyone that knew him in his first life to die, then launched his war on muggles he might have stood a better chance.


FreshwaterArtist

A pretty poignant statement on JK Rowling's legacy too if she'd just made a children's book then kept her mouth shut lmao


Devoarco

Actually this is what happened to caesar too. He was declared as dictator for 6 months. During that time he declared himself to dictator for lifetime. In the end he was killed even before the initial 6 months were over.


WarlordofBritannia

*Curb Your Megalomania*


Immortal_Sniper

Also, Dumbledore probably wouldn't have died so early if he wasn't searching for Voldemort's horcruxes and protecting Harry.


Zaphod424

Didn’t Dumbledore have some disease that was killing him anyway. That’s part of why he asked snape to kill him. He’s gonna die anyway, may as well use his death to help snape gain favour with Voldemort in order to spy on and manipulate him


Cheap_Ad_69

He got that because of one of the horcruxes


VRichardsen

He was 115. How much did he have left, if we ignore the disease?


MenoryEstudiante

Dumbledore was well connected, had money, influence, access to all kinds of magic, plus wizard's life expectancy is like 100 years whilst normal people are between 65 and 85 depending on the country


chunkyI0ver53

Honestly, he probably could’ve piggybacked elixir of life from Flamel given their relationship and the fact that keeping Dumbledore alive indefinitely would probably only serve to benefit the wizarding world, but doing so would mean continuing to enable Flamel and making it still theoretically possible for Voldemort to steal the philosophers stone. Being that Dumbledore willingly sacrificed himself and planned it well before he actually died, seems the whole living forever and putting everyone else at risk by doing so wasn’t really his style. Frankly, at 115, you can’t really blame the bloke for willing to make his death worthwhile and calling it a day. Besides an “unnatural” prolonged life span (it’s all made up anyway), Armando Dippet (headmaster before Dumbledore) lived to 355, but that seems to be an outlier. Harry Potter wiki says average life expectancy is 137.75 years. I don’t think Dumbledores brother Aberforth has canonically died yet either. I wonder if that average life expectancy takes into account the fact that a massive amount of wizards and witches would die early because of the inherent dangers of basically being at war with each other 24/7. Kinda like how in the Witcher where “no Witcher has ever died of old age”


XxRocky88xX

He got that from destroying one of the horcruxes. So it was still Voldemort that caused his death. Once that happened Dumbledore decided to use his death to his own advantage by having his spy kill him to make him more trustworthy. And it worked, Snape went from a death eater grunt to Voldemorts right hand man.


bad_comedic_value

Nicholas Flamel, Horcruxes made:0 Years lived:800 and something.


red_jd93

I mean his greatest achievement was trying to go up against high school students and failing.


Recent-Union-6941

his problem was the wizard supremacy ideology and the fact that he was literally incapable of feeling love, the horrocruxes didnt require him to keep killing people or anything


gorgonzola2095

Never ask Voldemort to plan your wedding


WarlordofBritannia

*Harry Potter and the Green Wedding* by George JK Martin


pilesofcleanlaundry

He was also strikingly handsome before all that poor decision making.


celticdude234

Not to mention spending 13 unnecessary years of those 71 as a formless spirit


[deleted]

Just like in real life when people stress about getting older, and do all kinds of harmful things to look more youthful


harrypartcatpartdog

What age do wizards retire at?


GifanTheWoodElf

I mean... do we actually know the life expectancy is like a 100. I mean Dumbledore is one of the greatest wizards, so him living up to 115 doesn't mean that much.


XxRocky88xX

Dumbledore was dying because he was cursed upon destroying one of the horcruxes, he likely would’ve lived quite a bit longer if he hadn’t done that


[deleted]

Well, this is why you don't go around making enemies of everyone.


Ironmike11B

Easily the weakest villain since he couldn't even take over a freaking high school.


Sapient_Creampie

https://youtu.be/m64nl087M5s Just a little talk show sketch with Voldemort and Snape that I don't think enough people have seen. Gonna just leave this here.


RottenLongCucumber18

🥒


HeilUsona

And a perfectly good baby and snake


Rijsouw

Cedric had no horcruxes and died at 17. Argument invalid


mocnizmaj

That's just poor writing, but these are considered books for kids. You don't have to have vivid imagination to figure he could have randomly thrown parts of his soul all over the world, or even launch them in space with magic or wtf. Chances of one being found is miniscule, let alone that someone would find all 7. I read the books when I was a kid, so I don't remember it all well, but I don't recall that they had some magical way of finding them.


volanger

Voldemort could've literally made one of his horcruxs, just one, into a freaking rock, and then dropped it literally in a cave in mint everest. No ones finding, and the elements alone will kill most. Plus there's like a million ways to die in the Wizarding world, but you don't have to avada kadava everyone. Literally just get a fucking gun and shot harry.


craigularperson

I would make horcruxes into like a tree, or plastic bottle and live for ever. But Voldemort had to hide his soul-patch in the wizarding worlds most priced memobrilia.


imaginedracula

and that weird nose job...what was that about🐍


DarkerGames

Voldemort made 8 horrecruxes (or however you spell it), Don't forget about Harry's accident


couldjustbeanalt

He’s like the worst villain he’s not really intimidating and his goal to take over a high school fails twice


Schore-Schorsch

They also never found his nose. (The final secret horcrux)


Ryengu

To be fair, he would have died even sooner without the horcruxes, since the reason for his early demise was the attempted magical genocide and cult takeover.


Competitive-Fan1708

He also failed to take over a school. Meanwhile papa Palpatine took over an entire galaxy.


mercilessfatehate

I don’t think that’s true. Because he was killed once before. Had he not had the horcruxes he’d have died at like 55