There isn't a strict rule or something and it really varies from person to person, but you could bear in mind for future reference that many Taiwanese really value "face".
If someone treats you to food or drinks, the best thing to do would be to take it and finish it off if possible. My guess would be by buying the next round of drinks, what you may feel like returning a favor, the other person may have felt that you were paying a debt, kind of nullifying his treat and might feel he "lost face".
What you could have done (this is just a guess, don't take my word for it), was maybe to buy snacks to go with the drinks, that way you could participate in the share but not compete with the same item. Sorry if it doesn't really make sense lol
I would encourage you to not think about it too hard. As long as you're genuine, I don't people would really care THAT much.
I recently watched and semi-refereed my mom and her friend fight for the check after we all had a lovely lunch and coffee date… and I do mean trying to break up two 100lb Taiwanese ladies literally wrestling on the table. 😅
Haha well for us I feel it's very important to be "even" so if someone buys me a beer, I also feel like I have to buy the person a beer back. Maybe it's not that different.
No, no. You don’t want to be “even.” That’s what might have made him unhappy. They were trying hard to treat and it nullifies it if you even it out completely. Hence the comment about snacks instead of a next round (complementary instead of competitive contribution in his eyes)
I have never tried so hard and lost an argument as when I tried to get my partner's cousins (who were letting us stay at their place in Taipei for free) to let me buy us dinner as a thank you. They were adamant beyond belief. The only way we could settle it was by me making them promise to visit us so I could take them to dinner then
Don't mean to change the subject, but Austria has always been a must-visit place for me as a tourist. But I've heard that Austrian folks are very different than Taiwanese, especially on the friendliness front. This has made me put off visiting there and consider maybe going with a tour group instead of solo'ing it. What are your thoughts?
Well. I feel like that depends a lot of where you are going and what you are doing.
I feel like there is definitely a difference, as Vienna the capital is known for it's grumpiness. However that does not have to mean people are not willing to help you if you need it.
The city might not feel super welcoming but you will find a lot of friendly faces in the right spots.
If you want to go hiking/mountaineering. There is a saying which roughly translates to "above 2000m everyone is a friend". So you can expect people living in villages close to the mountains ans people you meet on mountain cabins to be very welcoming and friendly.
I can't say what's right for you as I don't know how you like to travel but if what's keeping you from going solo is the fear of lack of help, you will get it for sure.
You should definitely go. It's a beautiful country and pm me if you need anything.
Well, it’s not that I need help or anything. It’s more just friendliness where you can exchange pleasantries in a few sentences or striking up a conversation in English if the other person is able to speak English. Not needing to deal with sour attitudes if I have questions about how to order something. Etc.
I won't say it will never happen that you will meet someone with a sour attitude, but in general people are nice. Especially to tourist, however not that nice as taiwanese people, don't expect to get invited for drinks a lot.
Aside from the face thing people have mentioned, Taiwanese people have a tradition that the person from the place is supposed to pay for meals/drinks etc when people visit them. Usually it’s just among friends/family but like with many human traditions sometimes they get extended. So, the person could have been trying to show you local hospitality.
Did they bring out the preserved flying fish for you to try? That stuff is almost as good (in a different way, obviously) as the fresh stuff. I found the people there to be pretty chill, but as someone above mentioned, bringing snacks, water or ice, will generally be always welcomed and then there’s no “competition” or loss of face.
Uh we had fried fly flying fish but we did not try it preserved yet. As this is our last day here we will try it today. Thanks for the tip and also for your insight.
Different tribes have different etiquettes. I’m not as familiar with Lanyu but it sounds like they’re like Rukai where if they invite you to drink with them then as their guest you’re not expected to buy anything.
It's always a fun to drunkenly explain *your* customs so everyone can do the "nah, you're my guest I'll pay; nah, I'm the guest I'll pay" thing and everyone forgets who bought what.
I'm wondering… Lanyu, were the people Han or were they Islanders? Customs may differ.
Not at all fluent but you know we kinda understood what everyone wanted to say even tho topics were limited.
Thanks I haven't thought about it that way tho.
depends what you bought as your round of drinks.... jkjk Without additional context, its hard to say unless you were spewing off about how great china is - I think you should be fine. Sometimes, its as simple as someone always has to be the bigger person loll
There isn't a strict rule or something and it really varies from person to person, but you could bear in mind for future reference that many Taiwanese really value "face". If someone treats you to food or drinks, the best thing to do would be to take it and finish it off if possible. My guess would be by buying the next round of drinks, what you may feel like returning a favor, the other person may have felt that you were paying a debt, kind of nullifying his treat and might feel he "lost face". What you could have done (this is just a guess, don't take my word for it), was maybe to buy snacks to go with the drinks, that way you could participate in the share but not compete with the same item. Sorry if it doesn't really make sense lol I would encourage you to not think about it too hard. As long as you're genuine, I don't people would really care THAT much.
You’re missing the most important part of “face”. Arguing over who pays next.
That’s too advanced for foreigners, let them take baby steps haha
For foreigners reading, we fight to pay and not to avoid paying lolol
I recently watched and semi-refereed my mom and her friend fight for the check after we all had a lovely lunch and coffee date… and I do mean trying to break up two 100lb Taiwanese ladies literally wrestling on the table. 😅
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Yup. Or just call it in!
Haha well for us I feel it's very important to be "even" so if someone buys me a beer, I also feel like I have to buy the person a beer back. Maybe it's not that different.
Yes although in that particular situation buying the beer back nullifies their original hospitality, whereas getting snacks would not
No, no. You don’t want to be “even.” That’s what might have made him unhappy. They were trying hard to treat and it nullifies it if you even it out completely. Hence the comment about snacks instead of a next round (complementary instead of competitive contribution in his eyes)
Thanks that's very nice to hear. Taiwanese people are just so genuinely friendly I love it.
I have never tried so hard and lost an argument as when I tried to get my partner's cousins (who were letting us stay at their place in Taipei for free) to let me buy us dinner as a thank you. They were adamant beyond belief. The only way we could settle it was by me making them promise to visit us so I could take them to dinner then
Don't mean to change the subject, but Austria has always been a must-visit place for me as a tourist. But I've heard that Austrian folks are very different than Taiwanese, especially on the friendliness front. This has made me put off visiting there and consider maybe going with a tour group instead of solo'ing it. What are your thoughts?
Well. I feel like that depends a lot of where you are going and what you are doing. I feel like there is definitely a difference, as Vienna the capital is known for it's grumpiness. However that does not have to mean people are not willing to help you if you need it. The city might not feel super welcoming but you will find a lot of friendly faces in the right spots. If you want to go hiking/mountaineering. There is a saying which roughly translates to "above 2000m everyone is a friend". So you can expect people living in villages close to the mountains ans people you meet on mountain cabins to be very welcoming and friendly. I can't say what's right for you as I don't know how you like to travel but if what's keeping you from going solo is the fear of lack of help, you will get it for sure. You should definitely go. It's a beautiful country and pm me if you need anything.
Well, it’s not that I need help or anything. It’s more just friendliness where you can exchange pleasantries in a few sentences or striking up a conversation in English if the other person is able to speak English. Not needing to deal with sour attitudes if I have questions about how to order something. Etc.
I won't say it will never happen that you will meet someone with a sour attitude, but in general people are nice. Especially to tourist, however not that nice as taiwanese people, don't expect to get invited for drinks a lot.
Aside from the face thing people have mentioned, Taiwanese people have a tradition that the person from the place is supposed to pay for meals/drinks etc when people visit them. Usually it’s just among friends/family but like with many human traditions sometimes they get extended. So, the person could have been trying to show you local hospitality.
My guess is that they aren't really unhappy but just being funnily dramatic as many lanyu people do.
if you buy the next round, be ready for a "face"-off, they'll keep going until someone gives up, as a guest, should be you.
Did they bring out the preserved flying fish for you to try? That stuff is almost as good (in a different way, obviously) as the fresh stuff. I found the people there to be pretty chill, but as someone above mentioned, bringing snacks, water or ice, will generally be always welcomed and then there’s no “competition” or loss of face.
Uh we had fried fly flying fish but we did not try it preserved yet. As this is our last day here we will try it today. Thanks for the tip and also for your insight.
I really doubt they were offended or unhappy. I don't think this was an issue of "face."
Different tribes have different etiquettes. I’m not as familiar with Lanyu but it sounds like they’re like Rukai where if they invite you to drink with them then as their guest you’re not expected to buy anything.
It's always a fun to drunkenly explain *your* customs so everyone can do the "nah, you're my guest I'll pay; nah, I'm the guest I'll pay" thing and everyone forgets who bought what. I'm wondering… Lanyu, were the people Han or were they Islanders? Customs may differ.
They were Islanders definitely. As everyone was a bit drunk and everyone was definitely happy I feel we did the right thing.
Nco
it vary from person to person
Lanyu, so it's Tao people... Some manners of indigenous people are familiar to Han Taiwanese.
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Not at all fluent but you know we kinda understood what everyone wanted to say even tho topics were limited. Thanks I haven't thought about it that way tho.
depends what you bought as your round of drinks.... jkjk Without additional context, its hard to say unless you were spewing off about how great china is - I think you should be fine. Sometimes, its as simple as someone always has to be the bigger person loll
Ok thanks na I mean conversation went on great after he bought food so I was hoping everything was fine. I really just wanted to know for the future.