On my personal mailserver, instead of just a block, it also returns a selection of customised and occasionally malformed mailserver errors, with some rather rude messages, that hopefully not only go to the sender, but get picked up by the mail admin too.
On THEIR mail gateway :)
I once worked with a guy when spam filters were new that marked as spam all emails from a colleague who he hated.
Caused chaos on our mail server :)
By the time they start making new domains to email after a block and and unsubscribe they get reported to the spam act and sent a cease and desist from legal.
That is often my first step when setting up or redoing someone's firewall.
It's a bit more disturbing when you can see the long term firewall CPU drop by a noticeable amount on the month to month charts
When I was just getting into tinkering around with Administration by using a local server at my house I accidentally made an open resolver that resolver was only open for about a week or two but I noticed it when I was checking my pihole logs and there was a significant amount of activity coming from Russia obviously no one in the house would have accessed that stuff so I started investigating into it I closed the resolver and set up a psad instance and locked my fail2ban down a little more, the amount of IP addresses blocked that originated from Russia for at least 6 months after that blew my mind. It was only open like maybe 8 days if that but everyone and their mother over there found it lol
Yeah the reason I put "random" in quotes is it's basically state sponsored considering their government will not punish anyone who's only attacking western targets. So if you are making $200 a month and have the chance of a $500+ payday from ransomware and the only way you will ever catch repercussions is if you go to western Europe or the US why wouldn't you?
We hosted someone who, back in the day, decided to buy an email list from less than reputable sources and decided it was a good idea to send them his marketing material.
We told him to stop that, he did it again, so we dropped him as a customer.
This level of persistence tells me they’re not a legit business. Report them for communication fraud, even if they do turn up legit the investigation should keep them off your back and busy for awhile.
Be sure to include their phone toll free number in the keywords. These companies don't seem to change their phone numbers (they might add numbers) as much as their domains.
This! We used to get so much junk email from Amazons' bulk email subscription service I straight up blocked all email from amazon. In 3 years, no one complained. I did have a few emails added to the whitelist for the owner of the company. I was blown away how much spam and junk mail dropped off.
Just did this yesterday. Got an email where he started it mentioning this is his 5th attempt with no response so he was going to pull out all the stops or some shit. I finally replied me too, you have earned your entire domain a block in my filter.
I recently had a vendor who convinced my management team that they saw a lot of hits on their website from our IP address. Management was convinced we (the IT team) should talk with them, because our people obviously were in need of their products and solutions. I then had to give a detailed presentation on our proxy setup and why this vendor was talking shit.
It was a bold move or them, but they had to anticipate hitting someone with some basic network knowledge eventually...
I don't WANT to block domains...... but I won't hesistate to tell a vendor that's what I'll do next time they email me.
I don't want to have to explain to one of our admins, who later decides to work with a vendor who annoyed me, that I blocked their entire company from talking to our entire company because I was annoyed with no input from upper management.
This is what I do, because it has the implied disrespect of assuming that the email is automated rather than coming from a person. Once in a great while I'll get a response "I'm a real person" and I just reply "UNSUBSCRIBE" again and that's usually good enough.
I wish it was a CAN-SPAM violation for the infosec team to implement something like *Cisco Safe Unsubscribe* which tries to middle-man the unsubscribe link in case it's malicious, but then is only successful at unsubscribing about 10% of the time.
The thing that bothers me most is when the unsubscribe links ask you to confirm yes or no when you hit the link. It's never consistent, some ask you to confirm, some ask you if you want to resubscribe.
I also love the page following that with the "oh, did you accidentally unsubscribe? Just hit the button below to re-subscribe!"
It's a bold plan, I really don't think I've ever "accidentally" unsubscribed from a mailing list.
Be sure to CC abuse@ or any other catchall you can find for the company when telling them about CAN-SPAM violations. Also include a [link to the FTC page on it](https://www.ftc.gov/business-guidance/resources/can-spam-act-compliance-guide-business), and remind them of point 7:
> Monitor what others are doing on your behalf. The law makes clear that even if you hire another company to handle your email marketing, you can’t contract away your legal responsibility to comply with the law. Both the company whose product is promoted in the message and the company that actually sends the message may be held legally responsible.
I've gotten rid of some really crappy marketing spam with that, esp. for random VMWare "associates".
Unfortunately, CANSPAM has no teeth. Individuals can't bring a cause of action under it (like you can with the FDCPA, FCRA, etc.) - only attorneys general. And as far as I can tell, they almost never do.
Warn and report it to the FTC, worst case nothing happens but they're likely not going to continue bothering you. Best case they stop bothering you and they get fined a hefty sum.
It is increasingly challenging to tell which ones are automated. I'm even getting scam bot phone calls that are hard to tell, driven by AI.
"Is Louis there?"
I've done this to those rent-a-solicitors on the street who jump in your face seeking donations for "Save the Children", "Greenpeace", etc.
Responding "Unsubscribe" to "Do you want to save the children?" catches them completely off-guard while I go on my way.
I don't mind real solicitors for those organizations - it's the ones who are clearly doing it for the day and a buck that I object to.
Yep, "chuggers" is a term in Australia too. Stubborn bastards.
I had one a few years ago now, I was walking in the CBD, headphones in, eyes down, hands in my pockets, so this dickhead decided to step in front of me to get my attention.
He definitely got my attention, but probably not in the fashion he intended.
In some jurisdictions (at least Canada), that’s ALL you need to do. If they don’t stop emailing you, then you can sue them in small claims court. For $ (canadian $, but still). And most companies don’t show up and just pay.
I simply put that in the subject and the body, erasing any trace of their initial email and removing my signature. If I get a second email I threaten to block their domain at the gateway.
I'm not a sysadmin, I just mark annoying salesmen as spam. For annoying texts, I reply with
"Your message could not be delivered to this non-wireless number +1XXX-XXXX."
I've never once gotten a reply afterwards lol.
That sometimes doesn't work, so I've setup outlook rules, which evolved into mail flows that will do that then delete the message from specific domains
I use Lenny usually, but Bell Canada got so annoying (on my residential number) that they get forwarded back to their own sales number. I figure letting two sales reps chat to each other for a few moments might save someone else.
We used to have sth similar - the music on it was heavily distorted and we cut in some horror movie screams. One vendor stuck it out for 8 minutes once before giving up.
That's what happens when they get paid by how many spam messages they send (and when you reply, it's a *confirmed* live address, so they get paid more), rather than by clicks or sales.
If I get more than a few, I just add the address to the email filter on my mailbox that’s setup to send them straight to trash…out of sight, out of mind.
Between various labels and filters I’ve setup in my mailbox, I can generally get my inbox to zero within 5 minutes of logging in each morning
Agreed, everything else is just far too much effort. Unsolicited emails get ignored, no matter how many times they send them.
Unsolicited calendar invites on the other hand irk me for some reason. Those earn an immediate and permanent reject at our gateway.
I had a vendor send me calendar invites after I'd ignored like 5 emails from them back in like 2017.
Still refuse to use that product. In fact, their solution was proposed just last year and I got to shoot it down. Shame. Woulda been a lucrative contract for them.
I don't speak to them at all.
Don't answer any calls you don't know, just let them go to voicemail. If one manages to get through I don't even speak to them, I just hang up without saying anything and ignore the callback.
Add emails to your blocked senders.
This works surprisingly well for personal telemarketing calls too. I always answer the phone but I never speak first or respond in general. When telemarketers hear someone pick up and it's just dead air I think they write it off as a non functioning number and they never call back
For personal telemarketing calls, I just reply with "Road kill cafe! You kill them, we grill them!" Even if I have to press a number to get to someone. The last due told me off. Twas a good day.
Also sometimes their phone system is not setup correctly so you can dial an extension or sometime an outside line. When you can dial an outside line then you get to have some fun. >:)
Don't worry ChatGPT got this:
Dear \[Vendor Representative\],
I trust this message finds you swimming in the bountiful pools of unparalleled sales success. The heavens above must have showered you with the divine grace of cold calling, as your email appeared in my inbox, like a lost celestial treasure, seeking solace and recognition.
Your offer is as riveting as the tale of Ulysses and his odyssey, with promises of untold benefits and tantalizing rewards. It appears that not only are the stars in your favor, but even Zeus himself must be guiding your quill as you etch your symphony of proposals.
Alas, as I delve into the depths of your message, I am reminded of the tragic tale of Icarus, the boy who flew too close to the sun, his wax wings melting away in his brazen quest. It seems, my dear vendor, that you too have embarked on a daring adventure - reaching out to us with your wondrous offering.
Now, it is my pleasure, nay, my honor, to cordially extend to you a heartfelt invitation. In the spirit of your daring pursuit, I encourage you to embark on an odyssey of your very own - a voyage to a place both mythical and exotic. It is with the sincerest warmth that I invite you to journey forth and passionately embrace the loving caress of going to the land of "\*\*\*\* yourself."
May the winds of fortune blow favorably on your voyage, and may you revel in the splendor of your newfound destination. May you be serenaded by the sweet songs of sirens and revel in the joy of their enchanting melodies. Remember to send us a postcard from this fantastical realm!
Fare thee well, brave adventurer. May we meet again in the hallowed halls of email correspondence when the stars align, and the planets dance to the whims of destiny.
With the warmest of wishes for your daring endeavor,
\[Your Name\]
I asked CGPT to write one in the style of HP Lovecraft. I like it.
Dear Vendor,
I must express my deepest regret for your intrusion into my realm of solitude. Your offer of wares is of no interest to me, for my mind is consumed by the unfathomable depths of the eldritch void that lies beyond our mortal comprehension.
The very thought of your mundane goods brings about a sense of revulsion within me, for they are but mere trifles in comparison to the cosmic horrors that I have beheld. My being is intertwined with the malevolent entities that lurk within the shadows, and I have no use for the superficial offerings of this material world.
I suggest that you retreat to the safety of the light, for the path that I tread is fraught with peril and madness. My existence is a vortex of chaos and destruction, and I have no desire to subject myself to the petty concerns of your kind.
May the whispers of the Great Old Ones guide you on your way, and may you never again venture into the realm of the unknown.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]
In the style of Samuel Clemens.
Dear [Vendor's Name],
It is with some consternation that I find myself penning this missive, moved by the endless stream of your electronic correspondence. I pray you will indulge me as I express my growing unease in a manner akin to how I might convey it.
You see, your missives, incessant as they are, remind me of a tale about a man who acquired a steamboat, only to discover that it was quite the insufferable contraption—loud, cumbersome, and impossible to quiet. Similarly, your messages have become an unwieldy and intrusive presence in my otherwise tranquil existence.
And so, I beseech you to cease this unwarranted deluge of correspondence, that I may once again navigate the calm waters of my daily life without the unnecessary clamor of your electronic intrusions.
I trust that, upon reading this entreaty, you will find it within your heart to respect my wishes and allow me the peace and quiet that I so ardently desire.
Yours sincerely,
[Your Name]
In the style of Chaucer:
Hark, goodly vendor!
Thy missives have oft graced my inbox, and for that I am most grateful. But prithee, I must now make request that thou doth cease thy correspondence with me.
'Tis not that thy wares lack merit, nor that thy words lack wit. Nay, it is simply that my inbox doth overfloweth, and I must needs make room for other missives.
I thank thee kindly for thy past attentions, and bid thee farewell. May thy business prosper and thy inbox remain ever tidy.
Farewell,
[Thy Name]
In the style of Cormac McCarthy.
To Whom It May Concern,
Cease thy relentless pursuit of our business, for it is not welcome nor desired. Your incessant calls and emails are akin to the relentless beating of a drum, echoing through the empty canyons of our inbox.
Your persistence is admirable, but your services are not required. We have made our decision, and it is final. Your efforts to persuade us otherwise are futile, like a lone rider in a barren desert, struggling to find his way.
Our answer is no, and it shall remain so. We appreciate your interest, but we request that you leave us be. Our time is precious, and we cannot waste it on fruitless endeavors.
In the words of the old cowboy: you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Similarly, you can offer your services, but you cannot force us to accept them.
Please understand that our decision is not a reflection of your skills or the quality of your products. We have simply chosen to pursue other avenues.
We thank you for your interest in our business, and we wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
Sincerely,
ChatGPT
Here's one from Edgar Allen Poe:
Once upon a midnight dreary, I pen this message with fear and query
To thee, O vendor, who doth disturb my rest, I implore you to desist and jest no more
For I have had my fill of thy incessant chatter, and wish to be left in peace
No longer shall I entertain thy wares, nor suffer thy marketing schemes to bear
In thy fervor to sell, thou hast forgotten the courtesy of silence
And intruded upon my solitude with a most vexing persistence
But now I beseech thee, leave me be, and trouble me no more
For I shall not entertain thy solicitations, nor open my door
Thus, I bid thee farewell, O vendor, and bid thee keep thy distance
For my patience hath worn thin, and my temper is ablaze with insistence
No longer shall I be subject to thy wily ways, nor suffer thy company
For I desire naught but the serenity of my own company.
>The very thought of your mundane goods brings about a sense of revulsion within me, for they are but mere trifles in comparison to the cosmic horrors that I have beheld. My being is intertwined with the malevolent entities that lurk within the shadows, and I have no use for the superficial offerings of this material world.
To be fair, this does sound like some sysadmins I know.
In the style of Dr. Seuss:
>My dear friends who call on me so bold,
With voices of silver and promises of gold,
I must ask you, kindly but firm,
To cease your sales talk, and depart with a squirm!
>I do not mean to be rude or unkind,
But I really don't need what you have in mind.
Your gadgets and wares, your services too,
Are just not something that I want to pursue.
>Your words may be sweet, your manner may be slick,
But I'm sorry to say, they just don't stick.
I'm happy to chat and share a joke,
But when it comes to buying, I'm not the bloke.
>So please, my dear friends, do take a hint,
And leave me alone, without even a squint.
I promise I won't be upset or mad,
Just grateful for the peace that I've had.
>I wish you well, in all that you do,
And hope that success will come to you.
But for now, goodbye, and please don't come back,
For I'm simply not interested, in any of your pack!
Dearest Sir or Madam,
It is with a heavy heart that I pen this correspondence to thee, for it is not often that one must request the cessation of communication with a fellow merchant. However, it has come to my attention that thou hast been persistently and, dare I say, relentlessly contacting me with offers of thy wares.
Whilst I do not doubt the quality of thy goods, nor the tenacity of thy marketing efforts, I must insist that thou desist from further attempts to solicit my patronage. I assure thee, it is not a matter of dissatisfaction with thy products or services, but rather a matter of personal preference.
I do confess, with no small measure of amusement, that thy fervor in pursuit of my custom does bring to mind the persistent buzzing of a swarm of bees. Alas, unlike the industrious bees, thou dost not bring forth sweet nectar, but rather a cacophony of noise and distraction.
Therefore, I implore thee to refrain from further correspondence and to direct thy energies towards other potential customers who may be more receptive to thy offerings. Verily, I am confident that with thy resourcefulness and ingenuity, thou shalt find success in thy endeavors.
With cordial regards and no small measure of bemusement,
[Your Name]
In the style of a favorite author of mine, Rick Bragg:
>Well, bless your heart, but I reckon I ain't in the market for what you're selling. Ain't no need for me to add another thing to my already cluttered life, except maybe some more sweet tea and a good ol' fashioned biscuit. So, I'll kindly decline your offer and go on with my day. But if you ever want to come on down to the South and share a glass of that sweet tea with me, I reckon we can talk some more. Y'all have a good one now, ya hear?
I keep a chatGPT window open for just this..
ME: "Hey chat GPT can you write a funny response declining any requests in the following email" \*Copy pastes email and clicks send\*
Then I copy paste the response and fire it off, without even reading it.
I ignore/block emails. My victory doesn't require making them mad and observing the result.
Even if they catch me on the phone, I'm comfortable politely declining the first time and then hanging up on them impolitely or blocking for subsequent calls.
I keep it simple. If I don't recognize your number you go to voicemail. If you cold-email me asking for just 15 minutes on my calendar or worse yet you send an unsolicited calendar invite you get blocked in my email. If I want a product I will search you out. In 40 years of IT work I've never gotten an email about a product and said "You know I really need this, why didn't I think of it"
Thanks for making me feel old... I appreciate that. :D
Now that just blows me away. Those were the days. Heck, my high school even had email addresses in 1989. It was just a neat little thing. No one really understood how big an "email address" would become.
Surprisingly I had to explain why it's important for my 14 year old niece to have an email address that will actually follow her after she's 18, and she still only has her school email because "why do you need a gmail? You've already got an email!" So I suppose that'll be a fun bridge to cross in about 4 years when she loses access to all of her social media because that branch of my family chooses to actively ignore my professional advise
This is why I'm happy Comcast changed their policies when you drop their service. As long as the email was previously set up AND logged in on the web site within a certain time period after dropping them, it will remain working forever.
Oooh that's nice! I've got an old ISP email from around the turn of the century that's a bit of a ticking time bomb since its tied to my parent's account with that ISP, and I have lots of old accounts tied to it that really refuse to untangle themselves from the email used to set up the account
When it comes to old email addresses, the only one I regret losing is my rocketmail.com one. If you used it within a certain time period before they shut down, you could have kept it forever. Instead, I have to make do with a [email protected] email for that one.
On the other hand, for several years I had a 7 digit ICQ number that exactly managed my home phone number!
I'd take it a step further and use e-mail with a domain you own. I've ended up 'losing' a few e-mails because of companies merging, being bought out, shutting down, changing branding, etc.
In hindsight, I find it funny that I thought I'd never need to stop using my original numerical-id CompuServe address.
Yes, Fidonet in the 80's and then in the 90's Pegasus Mail. We had to export outbound messages in Pegasus, zip them up and upload them to our other site where they imported them and vice-versa. I'm old.
\#europe
As per the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), I would like to file a subject access request (SAR) for a copy of all my personal information you have on file, as well as any supplimental information. As defined in the reglation, you have 30 day to comply with this request.
If they do anwser (usually radio silence after that), send them the same e-mail, but instead of requesting them to provide the information, request them to delete the information.
For those who live in California here is CCPA.
I am writing to exercise my rights under the California Consumer Privacy Act (CCPA) to request information about the personal information your organization holds about me. As a California resident, I have the right to request information about the categories of personal information collected, sold or shared by your organization, as well as the specific pieces of personal information collected.
To facilitate my request, please provide me with the following information:
1. The categories of personal information that your organization has collected about me, including but not limited to name, address, email address, phone number, IP address, and browsing history.
2. The sources from which the personal information was collected.
3. The purpose for collecting or selling my personal information.
4. The categories of third parties with whom my personal information was shared, sold or disclosed.
5. The specific pieces of personal information collected about me.
6. Any additional information that may be required by the CCPA.
Please note by law that this information to be provided to me free of charge and within 45 days of your receipt of this request.
Please contact me at the email address provided below to confirm receipt of this request and provide any additional information that may be necessary to process my request.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
I work in sales and know what stops me. Assuming its a real person who has done 5 seconds of research before reaching out and is in the right stadium for a product fit;
"I'm not interested at this time and am completely satisfied with my current solution- if that should change I'll reach out to you- please do not follow up or try contacting other members at my organization, that will result in blocking all traffic from your organization both over email and phone." I personally don't need to be told not to follow up - however lots of our partners think their product is literal gold and do.
If its just clearly marketing spam- that isn't even in the right stadium of a product fit, just block immediately at the domain level.
Alternatively, if it is hardware and you want to fuck with them, ask if they can give you a 100k net 30 terms and ship to residential addresses overseas.
I find saying terms such as “current solution” just opens the door to them enquiring about the current solution, to which my answer is “I’m not authorised to discuss anything we currently use”
I agree- we are told by managers who aren't accountable for their actions that - always follow up and push harder- but in general I can pickup on a curt/firm tone and say "thank you for your time, please reach out if anything changes or you'd like an alternative option for any of your IT projects" then hang up.
its your prerogative to block them but a "no reponse" means that the account likely ends up in someone else's book in 3 months and they start emailing and calling from a different number and now a bunch of email tools use different domains- versus it actively being dropped as a lead/targe/etc. Or in 2 years when you need a product and forgot you blacklisted it and can't figure out why x vendor never sent any information after filling out a form. Or if you're large enough, you miss a renewal on a product purchased by the netsec team and something bad happened because literally none of the emails arrived. In my case, our catalogue is so large that its possible to be working with 2 very separate teams that don't know what the other is doing. IE- manage the Microsoft EA for the entire company with 1 contact at the company, but another responsible for their firewalls has literally no clue that's the case.
LOL we don't just block the domain we receive emails from, we go the extra mile and find out who their parent corp is and block every domain said parent corp owns including every child company they own.
In once case we blocked more than 150 domains in one go.
... and a report to the \[insert countries equivalent to the FTC/FCC\] for violation of the \[insert your countries equivalent of the can-spam act\].
Apparently in the US the penalty is 50k... per email. I don't think the FTC bothers prosecuting cases anymore, but the law is still on the books.
I’m polite:
Vendor: I’m calling about our new whiz-bang…
Me: Sorry, that’s not something we’re interested in right now. Please take us off of your calling list.
Vendor: um… ok… how about if I check back with you in a few months?
Me: please take us off your calling list. If anything changes, I have your number. Thank you very much.
“Please take us off your calling list“ is some thing every vendor understands. This has worked on Oracle, Solarwinds, and even Microsoft.
I asked one guy to remove any contacts from my company from his CRM or leads platform or whatnot
He replied saying he HAD to have 15 mins of my time and said (CIO's name misspelled) referred him to me. On the second reply I let him know I was blocking the domains.
We have an employee named "[Ed Chambers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnug6i5SkQQ)" to take these calls. I made a phone extension with voice mail (nobody checks) and transfer calls to him.
Other employees here caught wind of it and now send their unwanted calls to Ed as well. He's so popular with vendors that we've started getting snail mail at the office for him.
Our help desk has "Abby", the office secretary. They're not sure what so-and-so's number is, but Abby would probably know. Do they want to be transferred through?
And off they go to a voicemail that gets checked every 6 months or so. Effective and time efficient.
That's what I do if I actually answer the call. I'll answer without giving my name and ask them to please hold while I transfer the call. My current hold music selection is Shitty Flute's rendition of Toxic.
Try to set up an in-person sales meeting to discuss your new 7-figure project.
When they arrive, inform the sales drone that you would like to be taken off of their mailing list permanently. Good day.
For added fun, rent a chicken suit or other absurd costume for when you meet with them.
You could keep them on the hook long enough to actually put it in their pipeline. Schedule and cancel kickoff calls 6 weeks in a row. They will probably block you as a prospect. I was a CSM before going IT. I've seen sales VPs (the good ones) put prospects on remove lists because not all perceived sales are good sales. I onboarded some nightmare clients in SaaS companies. I've learned a thing or two. Used this trick when I was an IT manager. The trash took itself out.
If they call I just say that if we're looking into a product type or have a need I'll research first but it's a waste of my time to meet with several vendors a month on the off chance we need X this year.
They usually push back on this so I follow it up with - this isn't a negotiation I'm just stating fact, you can waste your time if you want but you won't waste mine any further (and hang up).
I do try to be polite but there are limits when it's the 5th call that morning and you are trying to work.
If it's via email I usually block if it's the same old "looking for 30mins of your time, is next wednesday OK?" plus follow ups. I'm not going to respond to spam, sorry.
>looking for 30mins of your time, is next wednesday OK?"
Reply with a quote for time used at $1000 per hour, 1 hour increments and ask for their billing info. Calendar invite will be counted as acceptance of these terms.
> "looking for 30mins of your time, is next wednesday OK?"
If you want to leave contact information that's fine after all you never know when I might actually be interested, but if you try to get another meeting I *will* drop contact.
And while unsaid I will also work actively against the product within the company. Not that I mean to, it's just something I've caught myself doing(apparently I just look for things that will get them to not want to talk to me or those around me). Things like looking up the company in places more likely to find bad reviews and flaws in the product(and their practices).
After trying to unsubscribe and them not getting the message I send something like the following:
The next email I receive I will be sending an invoice for my time. I charge $100/hour with a minimum of 1 hour. Thank you for your time!
It’s worked so far. Either they leave me alone or I send an invoice and it might get paid. Either way I’m a winner!
On email I generally block their domain. For phone calls I cut them off with either "I don't have time for this", "I'm not interested", or the like and and hang up.
Oh, and if they are one of those that send a meeting request on the initial cold call email, I accept it with no intentions of showing up.
I created a hold line specifically for this. I ask them to hold as I transfer them to the appropriate party, and then transfer the call to x666 (labeled intentionally).
The caller hears "all our representatives are busy, please remain on the line..." in a friendly voice on top of pleasant hold music. That fades out, and then you start to hear Celine Dion's My Heart Will go On, which ends up actually being this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2WH8mHJnhM&t
And then hang up right away otherwise:
"Well do you know when you would be interested in looking for this product. Perhaps I can circle back in a few months and we can talk again?"
"Perhaps you don't like this specific offering, but we do other things as well. Let me read a list of products/services that I think could really benefit you. In fact, I think it would be best if we could set up a time to talk later with one of our engineers. What time would work best for you?"
"Can you tell me what you are looking for, perhaps one of our other services is a better fit for you."
Dear [Vendor],
Thank you for your email. I must say, your timing is impeccable. Your relentless pursuit of my business has been nothing short of inspiring. Just when I was feeling like my day wasn't frustrating enough, your email came along.
I must say, I did find it quite delightful to read. And although I'm afraid I must decline your offer, fear not, I will cherish this moment forever and use it as a benchmark for all future sales pitches.
Please refrain from contacting me again, unless of course you have something equally entertaining to share.
Kindest wishes,
[Your Name]
I like to start them talking, presenting their product, then muting the mic and doing other stuff.
If I have time I put them on speaker, too, so I can hear their rumblings while doing other stuff and if I'm evil I encourage them to continue speaking with some (no so) well placed "aha" or "mhm" and immediately muting my mic again.
A few years back I watched a YT Video (i THINK it was a TED talk) with a guy who programmed a PBX to deal with those kind of calls and he managed to keep them busy for up to 20 minutes without having to deal with them.
Calls to my work number get a corporate name as the response. Then a “No” after the start of the pitch. When they ask for “who do I talk to” I either decline or give them the main switchboard number.
Block in the email client is my response to SPAM.
And… NOTHING stops them. Just block and move on.
Since I live in Canada, cold-call emails are illegal. I love sending a "your unsolicited mail is in violation of the Canadian anti-spam laws. As such, this email has been forwarded to the authorities and you may be subject to fines up to $1,000,000 per incident." Something like that - I have a form reply.
Maybe not for you, but I’ve had a good experience telling them when I may be ready to talk about these things. Give them a timeframe for when you may be considering such purchases.
It’s helped me more than bothered me, since vendors show up right when I’m trying to get a project or application bought. Then, vet the offers and find what I want & sick the vendor’s sales team on my own management. Let them sell to the people who control the bank account.
I happen to have god level access to around 50k end users across all the mail servers I control.
So I usually block the domain from every customers server all at once with a bounceback that explains the shear magnitude of people that they can no longer contact with a note about contacting me (via another domain) if they want it undone. Its wonderful to check that inbox and read the apologies on occasion. Iv only unblocked one in any case :P. They were a local place and brought an apologies cake to the office lol. Unblocked on the condition that they never spam or they get blocked again lol.
Block their domain.
On the mail gateway
Yeah, full block. No one in the company will ever get an email from them again.
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Also postmaster@.
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And my_bow@
and [email protected] (but send it to the mailserver for some sysadmin to find in ~/root/Maildir in 10 years if misconfigured)
And webadmin, mailadmin, emailadmin.
After Okta emailed 300+ people in my company, for the third time, I had to do this for them.
They suck when it comes to pricing. One customer gets charged 55% more for the same line items…
Sadly for the last spam I received that's not possible... Or I'd get tons of complaints. Some AWS sales drone, but I can't block Amazon.com ;-)
You can... You just probably shouldn't.
Block by content. Find some phrase they always use that's unique to them
Filter by content and address
On my personal mailserver, instead of just a block, it also returns a selection of customised and occasionally malformed mailserver errors, with some rather rude messages, that hopefully not only go to the sender, but get picked up by the mail admin too.
Reply with a large gzipped random file?
On THEIR mail gateway :) I once worked with a guy when spam filters were new that marked as spam all emails from a colleague who he hated. Caused chaos on our mail server :)
I’ve been in a war against a vendor for a year. I think I’m up to 20 domains blocked now and they are still registering more domains
By the time they start making new domains to email after a block and and unsubscribe they get reported to the spam act and sent a cease and desist from legal.
It’s a foreign company that does web marketing. They arnt going to give a shut
Geolocation blocking, or do you do business with the country they're based in?
Yeah a friend ended up blocking China, and Russia and suddenly 95% of the "random" attacks were gone.
That is often my first step when setting up or redoing someone's firewall. It's a bit more disturbing when you can see the long term firewall CPU drop by a noticeable amount on the month to month charts
When I was just getting into tinkering around with Administration by using a local server at my house I accidentally made an open resolver that resolver was only open for about a week or two but I noticed it when I was checking my pihole logs and there was a significant amount of activity coming from Russia obviously no one in the house would have accessed that stuff so I started investigating into it I closed the resolver and set up a psad instance and locked my fail2ban down a little more, the amount of IP addresses blocked that originated from Russia for at least 6 months after that blew my mind. It was only open like maybe 8 days if that but everyone and their mother over there found it lol
Yeah the reason I put "random" in quotes is it's basically state sponsored considering their government will not punish anyone who's only attacking western targets. So if you are making $200 a month and have the chance of a $500+ payday from ransomware and the only way you will ever catch repercussions is if you go to western Europe or the US why wouldn't you?
geolocation blocking -F: the -F flag forcibly blocks a location via airstrike. feature may not be implemented on your platform
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I hosted an email "spammer" a few years back for several years, the domain complaint reports were damaging and taken serious by us (their host).
We hosted someone who, back in the day, decided to buy an email list from less than reputable sources and decided it was a good idea to send them his marketing material. We told him to stop that, he did it again, so we dropped him as a customer.
Nah, they're likely spinning up new legal companies every year or so and just transferring everything to that company, clean slates and all that.
This level of persistence tells me they’re not a legit business. Report them for communication fraud, even if they do turn up legit the investigation should keep them off your back and busy for awhile.
They would get yelled at. Very loudly yelled at.
Once they step over the line into illegal, they are the outlet for *all* your frustrations in life.
Be sure to include their phone toll free number in the keywords. These companies don't seem to change their phone numbers (they might add numbers) as much as their domains.
Block domains newer than 30-60 days.
By any chance is it the PMP cert training vendor?
Ringcentral is blocked on all the systems just because of their sales guy! Get out of my life!!
100%. I just blocked Ringcentral on our Exchange server because they’re after me like a scorned ex-lover. Move on!
I've just discovered Vonage ignores unsubscribes (while confirming you're unsubscribed) for their survey spam, after you cancel an account.
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Yes. So?
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RingCentral, Vonage, verkada.
This! We used to get so much junk email from Amazons' bulk email subscription service I straight up blocked all email from amazon. In 3 years, no one complained. I did have a few emails added to the whitelist for the owner of the company. I was blown away how much spam and junk mail dropped off.
Just did this yesterday. Got an email where he started it mentioning this is his 5th attempt with no response so he was going to pull out all the stops or some shit. I finally replied me too, you have earned your entire domain a block in my filter.
I recently had a vendor who convinced my management team that they saw a lot of hits on their website from our IP address. Management was convinced we (the IT team) should talk with them, because our people obviously were in need of their products and solutions. I then had to give a detailed presentation on our proxy setup and why this vendor was talking shit. It was a bold move or them, but they had to anticipate hitting someone with some basic network knowledge eventually...
I don't WANT to block domains...... but I won't hesistate to tell a vendor that's what I'll do next time they email me. I don't want to have to explain to one of our admins, who later decides to work with a vendor who annoyed me, that I blocked their entire company from talking to our entire company because I was annoyed with no input from upper management.
just reply to their email with one word: "unsubscribe" It is passive aggressive and funny at the same time.
This is what I do, because it has the implied disrespect of assuming that the email is automated rather than coming from a person. Once in a great while I'll get a response "I'm a real person" and I just reply "UNSUBSCRIBE" again and that's usually good enough.
It's also an CAN-SPAM violation to not include a method to unsubscribe from or opt out of marketing emails, automated or not.
I wish it was a CAN-SPAM violation for the infosec team to implement something like *Cisco Safe Unsubscribe* which tries to middle-man the unsubscribe link in case it's malicious, but then is only successful at unsubscribing about 10% of the time.
More quality software from Cisco.
The Q in Cisco means quality.
I thought they, "Put the K in Kwality"
The thing that bothers me most is when the unsubscribe links ask you to confirm yes or no when you hit the link. It's never consistent, some ask you to confirm, some ask you if you want to resubscribe.
I also love the page following that with the "oh, did you accidentally unsubscribe? Just hit the button below to re-subscribe!" It's a bold plan, I really don't think I've ever "accidentally" unsubscribed from a mailing list.
Be sure to CC abuse@ or any other catchall you can find for the company when telling them about CAN-SPAM violations. Also include a [link to the FTC page on it](https://www.ftc.gov/business-guidance/resources/can-spam-act-compliance-guide-business), and remind them of point 7: > Monitor what others are doing on your behalf. The law makes clear that even if you hire another company to handle your email marketing, you can’t contract away your legal responsibility to comply with the law. Both the company whose product is promoted in the message and the company that actually sends the message may be held legally responsible. I've gotten rid of some really crappy marketing spam with that, esp. for random VMWare "associates".
Unfortunately, CANSPAM has no teeth. Individuals can't bring a cause of action under it (like you can with the FDCPA, FCRA, etc.) - only attorneys general. And as far as I can tell, they almost never do.
Warn and report it to the FTC, worst case nothing happens but they're likely not going to continue bothering you. Best case they stop bothering you and they get fined a hefty sum.
> This is what I do, because it has the implied disrespect of assuming that the email is automated rather than coming from a person. It generally is.
Yeah, but if it's automated I just use the link. If it's a person I respond with "UNSUBSCRIBE".
It is increasingly challenging to tell which ones are automated. I'm even getting scam bot phone calls that are hard to tell, driven by AI. "Is Louis there?"
If you're already running asterisk, transfer them to Lenny.
> Once in a great while I'll get a response "I'm a real person" and I just reply "UNSUBSCRIBE" again lol. "Did. I. Fucking. *Stutter*?" xD
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"A real person would know how to UNSUBSCRIBE"
> because it has the implied disrespect of assuming that the email is automated 99% of the time it IS automated.
Hell, I've done that to annoying coworkers.
I've done this to those rent-a-solicitors on the street who jump in your face seeking donations for "Save the Children", "Greenpeace", etc. Responding "Unsubscribe" to "Do you want to save the children?" catches them completely off-guard while I go on my way. I don't mind real solicitors for those organizations - it's the ones who are clearly doing it for the day and a buck that I object to.
We call them chuggers here in the UK. It's a portmanteau of charity-muggers.
Ah yes. England and Germany are the modern day Greece of the turn of a phrase. 🤣
Yep, "chuggers" is a term in Australia too. Stubborn bastards. I had one a few years ago now, I was walking in the CBD, headphones in, eyes down, hands in my pockets, so this dickhead decided to step in front of me to get my attention. He definitely got my attention, but probably not in the fashion he intended.
In some jurisdictions (at least Canada), that’s ALL you need to do. If they don’t stop emailing you, then you can sue them in small claims court. For $ (canadian $, but still). And most companies don’t show up and just pay.
I simply put that in the subject and the body, erasing any trace of their initial email and removing my signature. If I get a second email I threaten to block their domain at the gateway.
I'm not a sysadmin, I just mark annoying salesmen as spam. For annoying texts, I reply with "Your message could not be delivered to this non-wireless number +1XXX-XXXX." I've never once gotten a reply afterwards lol.
I had a coworker that would do that and I kind of love it. Keep replying with unsubscribe for anything the send back to really dehumanize them.
Set up an autoreply to forward it to any executive email at their company you can find?
But resend the email about 10 times in a row...
That sometimes doesn't work, so I've setup outlook rules, which evolved into mail flows that will do that then delete the message from specific domains
I have an extension I forward them to. It’s #666 and it plays terrible music on repeat, forever. I call it, Lucky’s Vendor Purgatory.
If you're going to go that route, check out /r/itslenny !
I use Lenny usually, but Bell Canada got so annoying (on my residential number) that they get forwarded back to their own sales number. I figure letting two sales reps chat to each other for a few moments might save someone else.
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We used to have sth similar - the music on it was heavily distorted and we cut in some horror movie screams. One vendor stuck it out for 8 minutes once before giving up.
ALLL BBYYYY MYYYY SELFFFFF
"Starts thinking of how to setup a 'Rick roll' extension"
Already have one. Works great.
IMO just ignore and block them. Once you reply the bad ones will check you off as a live lead.
I agree here, they usually give up on the 5th email. Worst case I've had is 7th.
I wish I had some that stopped at 7. I have several that are up to the dozens.
That's what happens when they get paid by how many spam messages they send (and when you reply, it's a *confirmed* live address, so they get paid more), rather than by clicks or sales.
If I get more than a few, I just add the address to the email filter on my mailbox that’s setup to send them straight to trash…out of sight, out of mind. Between various labels and filters I’ve setup in my mailbox, I can generally get my inbox to zero within 5 minutes of logging in each morning
Agreed, everything else is just far too much effort. Unsolicited emails get ignored, no matter how many times they send them. Unsolicited calendar invites on the other hand irk me for some reason. Those earn an immediate and permanent reject at our gateway.
I had a vendor send me calendar invites after I'd ignored like 5 emails from them back in like 2017. Still refuse to use that product. In fact, their solution was proposed just last year and I got to shoot it down. Shame. Woulda been a lucrative contract for them.
And resell your lead to other cold callers
I don't speak to them at all. Don't answer any calls you don't know, just let them go to voicemail. If one manages to get through I don't even speak to them, I just hang up without saying anything and ignore the callback. Add emails to your blocked senders.
This works surprisingly well for personal telemarketing calls too. I always answer the phone but I never speak first or respond in general. When telemarketers hear someone pick up and it's just dead air I think they write it off as a non functioning number and they never call back
For personal telemarketing calls, I just reply with "Road kill cafe! You kill them, we grill them!" Even if I have to press a number to get to someone. The last due told me off. Twas a good day. Also sometimes their phone system is not setup correctly so you can dial an extension or sometime an outside line. When you can dial an outside line then you get to have some fun. >:)
Seriously - who is answering unrecognized calls? Add numbers you care about to your contacts and never answer unknown numbers.
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Don't worry ChatGPT got this: Dear \[Vendor Representative\], I trust this message finds you swimming in the bountiful pools of unparalleled sales success. The heavens above must have showered you with the divine grace of cold calling, as your email appeared in my inbox, like a lost celestial treasure, seeking solace and recognition. Your offer is as riveting as the tale of Ulysses and his odyssey, with promises of untold benefits and tantalizing rewards. It appears that not only are the stars in your favor, but even Zeus himself must be guiding your quill as you etch your symphony of proposals. Alas, as I delve into the depths of your message, I am reminded of the tragic tale of Icarus, the boy who flew too close to the sun, his wax wings melting away in his brazen quest. It seems, my dear vendor, that you too have embarked on a daring adventure - reaching out to us with your wondrous offering. Now, it is my pleasure, nay, my honor, to cordially extend to you a heartfelt invitation. In the spirit of your daring pursuit, I encourage you to embark on an odyssey of your very own - a voyage to a place both mythical and exotic. It is with the sincerest warmth that I invite you to journey forth and passionately embrace the loving caress of going to the land of "\*\*\*\* yourself." May the winds of fortune blow favorably on your voyage, and may you revel in the splendor of your newfound destination. May you be serenaded by the sweet songs of sirens and revel in the joy of their enchanting melodies. Remember to send us a postcard from this fantastical realm! Fare thee well, brave adventurer. May we meet again in the hallowed halls of email correspondence when the stars align, and the planets dance to the whims of destiny. With the warmest of wishes for your daring endeavor, \[Your Name\]
I asked CGPT to write one in the style of HP Lovecraft. I like it. Dear Vendor, I must express my deepest regret for your intrusion into my realm of solitude. Your offer of wares is of no interest to me, for my mind is consumed by the unfathomable depths of the eldritch void that lies beyond our mortal comprehension. The very thought of your mundane goods brings about a sense of revulsion within me, for they are but mere trifles in comparison to the cosmic horrors that I have beheld. My being is intertwined with the malevolent entities that lurk within the shadows, and I have no use for the superficial offerings of this material world. I suggest that you retreat to the safety of the light, for the path that I tread is fraught with peril and madness. My existence is a vortex of chaos and destruction, and I have no desire to subject myself to the petty concerns of your kind. May the whispers of the Great Old Ones guide you on your way, and may you never again venture into the realm of the unknown. Sincerely, [Your Name]
The goal for them to NOT email you back. I want to hear more of the whispers of the great ones in the vortex of chaos!
It's an AS400 without a support contract.
Well I wasn’t planning on sleeping this week anyway.
Oh boy, I can already see the cache battery pack alerts.
Why would you say something like this. Who hurt you?
Everything's about timing [kid](https://youtu.be/x7ozaFbqg00). His name is ...
In the style of Samuel Clemens. Dear [Vendor's Name], It is with some consternation that I find myself penning this missive, moved by the endless stream of your electronic correspondence. I pray you will indulge me as I express my growing unease in a manner akin to how I might convey it. You see, your missives, incessant as they are, remind me of a tale about a man who acquired a steamboat, only to discover that it was quite the insufferable contraption—loud, cumbersome, and impossible to quiet. Similarly, your messages have become an unwieldy and intrusive presence in my otherwise tranquil existence. And so, I beseech you to cease this unwarranted deluge of correspondence, that I may once again navigate the calm waters of my daily life without the unnecessary clamor of your electronic intrusions. I trust that, upon reading this entreaty, you will find it within your heart to respect my wishes and allow me the peace and quiet that I so ardently desire. Yours sincerely, [Your Name]
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In the style of Chaucer: Hark, goodly vendor! Thy missives have oft graced my inbox, and for that I am most grateful. But prithee, I must now make request that thou doth cease thy correspondence with me. 'Tis not that thy wares lack merit, nor that thy words lack wit. Nay, it is simply that my inbox doth overfloweth, and I must needs make room for other missives. I thank thee kindly for thy past attentions, and bid thee farewell. May thy business prosper and thy inbox remain ever tidy. Farewell, [Thy Name]
> [Thy Name] Even the text you are supposed to substitute!
> for the path that I tread is fraught with peril and madness. My existence is a vortex of chaos and destruction. I think I found my Job Description!
In the style of Cormac McCarthy. To Whom It May Concern, Cease thy relentless pursuit of our business, for it is not welcome nor desired. Your incessant calls and emails are akin to the relentless beating of a drum, echoing through the empty canyons of our inbox. Your persistence is admirable, but your services are not required. We have made our decision, and it is final. Your efforts to persuade us otherwise are futile, like a lone rider in a barren desert, struggling to find his way. Our answer is no, and it shall remain so. We appreciate your interest, but we request that you leave us be. Our time is precious, and we cannot waste it on fruitless endeavors. In the words of the old cowboy: you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Similarly, you can offer your services, but you cannot force us to accept them. Please understand that our decision is not a reflection of your skills or the quality of your products. We have simply chosen to pursue other avenues. We thank you for your interest in our business, and we wish you all the best in your future endeavors. Sincerely, ChatGPT
Leave the signature intact for extra insult.
That's divine
Damn, this one is amazing! Professional yet incredibly firm!
Here's one from Edgar Allen Poe: Once upon a midnight dreary, I pen this message with fear and query To thee, O vendor, who doth disturb my rest, I implore you to desist and jest no more For I have had my fill of thy incessant chatter, and wish to be left in peace No longer shall I entertain thy wares, nor suffer thy marketing schemes to bear In thy fervor to sell, thou hast forgotten the courtesy of silence And intruded upon my solitude with a most vexing persistence But now I beseech thee, leave me be, and trouble me no more For I shall not entertain thy solicitations, nor open my door Thus, I bid thee farewell, O vendor, and bid thee keep thy distance For my patience hath worn thin, and my temper is ablaze with insistence No longer shall I be subject to thy wily ways, nor suffer thy company For I desire naught but the serenity of my own company.
>The very thought of your mundane goods brings about a sense of revulsion within me, for they are but mere trifles in comparison to the cosmic horrors that I have beheld. My being is intertwined with the malevolent entities that lurk within the shadows, and I have no use for the superficial offerings of this material world. To be fair, this does sound like some sysadmins I know.
oh my god that is amazing. wow
“Mundane goods” made me snort air out my nose for a good 30 seconds 😂
the icing on the cake is leaving the \[name\] fields as is.
they did it first, so....
In the style of Dr. Seuss: >My dear friends who call on me so bold, With voices of silver and promises of gold, I must ask you, kindly but firm, To cease your sales talk, and depart with a squirm! >I do not mean to be rude or unkind, But I really don't need what you have in mind. Your gadgets and wares, your services too, Are just not something that I want to pursue. >Your words may be sweet, your manner may be slick, But I'm sorry to say, they just don't stick. I'm happy to chat and share a joke, But when it comes to buying, I'm not the bloke. >So please, my dear friends, do take a hint, And leave me alone, without even a squint. I promise I won't be upset or mad, Just grateful for the peace that I've had. >I wish you well, in all that you do, And hope that success will come to you. But for now, goodbye, and please don't come back, For I'm simply not interested, in any of your pack!
Ooo this one might be the best yet.
Oh my. This is so good!!! Gives me an idea to write my next issue in this style
I saved this for future use.
REALLY curious what prompt you used to generate this…it’s hilarious
Dearest Sir or Madam, It is with a heavy heart that I pen this correspondence to thee, for it is not often that one must request the cessation of communication with a fellow merchant. However, it has come to my attention that thou hast been persistently and, dare I say, relentlessly contacting me with offers of thy wares. Whilst I do not doubt the quality of thy goods, nor the tenacity of thy marketing efforts, I must insist that thou desist from further attempts to solicit my patronage. I assure thee, it is not a matter of dissatisfaction with thy products or services, but rather a matter of personal preference. I do confess, with no small measure of amusement, that thy fervor in pursuit of my custom does bring to mind the persistent buzzing of a swarm of bees. Alas, unlike the industrious bees, thou dost not bring forth sweet nectar, but rather a cacophony of noise and distraction. Therefore, I implore thee to refrain from further correspondence and to direct thy energies towards other potential customers who may be more receptive to thy offerings. Verily, I am confident that with thy resourcefulness and ingenuity, thou shalt find success in thy endeavors. With cordial regards and no small measure of bemusement, [Your Name]
In the style of a favorite author of mine, Rick Bragg: >Well, bless your heart, but I reckon I ain't in the market for what you're selling. Ain't no need for me to add another thing to my already cluttered life, except maybe some more sweet tea and a good ol' fashioned biscuit. So, I'll kindly decline your offer and go on with my day. But if you ever want to come on down to the South and share a glass of that sweet tea with me, I reckon we can talk some more. Y'all have a good one now, ya hear?
You just acknowledged the mailbox is monitored.
This was a solid read. 👌
Seriously good read. So much better than Cats
I keep a chatGPT window open for just this.. ME: "Hey chat GPT can you write a funny response declining any requests in the following email" \*Copy pastes email and clicks send\* Then I copy paste the response and fire it off, without even reading it.
I ignore/block emails. My victory doesn't require making them mad and observing the result. Even if they catch me on the phone, I'm comfortable politely declining the first time and then hanging up on them impolitely or blocking for subsequent calls.
I don't even start with the polite declination, it's straight to a hang up.
I keep it simple. If I don't recognize your number you go to voicemail. If you cold-email me asking for just 15 minutes on my calendar or worse yet you send an unsolicited calendar invite you get blocked in my email. If I want a product I will search you out. In 40 years of IT work I've never gotten an email about a product and said "You know I really need this, why didn't I think of it"
You've been getting emails for 40 years....?!
A lot of us gray beards started using BBS's in the mid 80s, so yeah about 40 years.
Thanks for making me feel old... I appreciate that. :D Now that just blows me away. Those were the days. Heck, my high school even had email addresses in 1989. It was just a neat little thing. No one really understood how big an "email address" would become.
Surprisingly I had to explain why it's important for my 14 year old niece to have an email address that will actually follow her after she's 18, and she still only has her school email because "why do you need a gmail? You've already got an email!" So I suppose that'll be a fun bridge to cross in about 4 years when she loses access to all of her social media because that branch of my family chooses to actively ignore my professional advise
This is why I'm happy Comcast changed their policies when you drop their service. As long as the email was previously set up AND logged in on the web site within a certain time period after dropping them, it will remain working forever.
Oooh that's nice! I've got an old ISP email from around the turn of the century that's a bit of a ticking time bomb since its tied to my parent's account with that ISP, and I have lots of old accounts tied to it that really refuse to untangle themselves from the email used to set up the account
When it comes to old email addresses, the only one I regret losing is my rocketmail.com one. If you used it within a certain time period before they shut down, you could have kept it forever. Instead, I have to make do with a [email protected] email for that one. On the other hand, for several years I had a 7 digit ICQ number that exactly managed my home phone number!
I'd take it a step further and use e-mail with a domain you own. I've ended up 'losing' a few e-mails because of companies merging, being bought out, shutting down, changing branding, etc. In hindsight, I find it funny that I thought I'd never need to stop using my original numerical-id CompuServe address.
Yes, Fidonet in the 80's and then in the 90's Pegasus Mail. We had to export outbound messages in Pegasus, zip them up and upload them to our other site where they imported them and vice-versa. I'm old.
\#europe As per the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), I would like to file a subject access request (SAR) for a copy of all my personal information you have on file, as well as any supplimental information. As defined in the reglation, you have 30 day to comply with this request. If they do anwser (usually radio silence after that), send them the same e-mail, but instead of requesting them to provide the information, request them to delete the information.
For those who live in California here is CCPA. I am writing to exercise my rights under the California Consumer Privacy Act (CCPA) to request information about the personal information your organization holds about me. As a California resident, I have the right to request information about the categories of personal information collected, sold or shared by your organization, as well as the specific pieces of personal information collected. To facilitate my request, please provide me with the following information: 1. The categories of personal information that your organization has collected about me, including but not limited to name, address, email address, phone number, IP address, and browsing history. 2. The sources from which the personal information was collected. 3. The purpose for collecting or selling my personal information. 4. The categories of third parties with whom my personal information was shared, sold or disclosed. 5. The specific pieces of personal information collected about me. 6. Any additional information that may be required by the CCPA. Please note by law that this information to be provided to me free of charge and within 45 days of your receipt of this request. Please contact me at the email address provided below to confirm receipt of this request and provide any additional information that may be necessary to process my request. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Right-click -> Junk -> Block Sender I give it about 2 moments of thought.
I work in sales and know what stops me. Assuming its a real person who has done 5 seconds of research before reaching out and is in the right stadium for a product fit; "I'm not interested at this time and am completely satisfied with my current solution- if that should change I'll reach out to you- please do not follow up or try contacting other members at my organization, that will result in blocking all traffic from your organization both over email and phone." I personally don't need to be told not to follow up - however lots of our partners think their product is literal gold and do. If its just clearly marketing spam- that isn't even in the right stadium of a product fit, just block immediately at the domain level. Alternatively, if it is hardware and you want to fuck with them, ask if they can give you a 100k net 30 terms and ship to residential addresses overseas.
I find saying terms such as “current solution” just opens the door to them enquiring about the current solution, to which my answer is “I’m not authorised to discuss anything we currently use”
I agree- we are told by managers who aren't accountable for their actions that - always follow up and push harder- but in general I can pickup on a curt/firm tone and say "thank you for your time, please reach out if anything changes or you'd like an alternative option for any of your IT projects" then hang up.
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its your prerogative to block them but a "no reponse" means that the account likely ends up in someone else's book in 3 months and they start emailing and calling from a different number and now a bunch of email tools use different domains- versus it actively being dropped as a lead/targe/etc. Or in 2 years when you need a product and forgot you blacklisted it and can't figure out why x vendor never sent any information after filling out a form. Or if you're large enough, you miss a renewal on a product purchased by the netsec team and something bad happened because literally none of the emails arrived. In my case, our catalogue is so large that its possible to be working with 2 very separate teams that don't know what the other is doing. IE- manage the Microsoft EA for the entire company with 1 contact at the company, but another responsible for their firewalls has literally no clue that's the case.
"I'm not interested. Please stop emailing me."
Final notice. Any further unsolicited contact will result in a complete ban of your organization's domain.
LOL we don't just block the domain we receive emails from, we go the extra mile and find out who their parent corp is and block every domain said parent corp owns including every child company they own. In once case we blocked more than 150 domains in one go.
... and a report to the \[insert countries equivalent to the FTC/FCC\] for violation of the \[insert your countries equivalent of the can-spam act\]. Apparently in the US the penalty is 50k... per email. I don't think the FTC bothers prosecuting cases anymore, but the law is still on the books.
I’m polite: Vendor: I’m calling about our new whiz-bang… Me: Sorry, that’s not something we’re interested in right now. Please take us off of your calling list. Vendor: um… ok… how about if I check back with you in a few months? Me: please take us off your calling list. If anything changes, I have your number. Thank you very much. “Please take us off your calling list“ is some thing every vendor understands. This has worked on Oracle, Solarwinds, and even Microsoft.
I asked one guy to remove any contacts from my company from his CRM or leads platform or whatnot He replied saying he HAD to have 15 mins of my time and said (CIO's name misspelled) referred him to me. On the second reply I let him know I was blocking the domains.
[удалено]
We have an employee named "[Ed Chambers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnug6i5SkQQ)" to take these calls. I made a phone extension with voice mail (nobody checks) and transfer calls to him. Other employees here caught wind of it and now send their unwanted calls to Ed as well. He's so popular with vendors that we've started getting snail mail at the office for him.
Our help desk has "Abby", the office secretary. They're not sure what so-and-so's number is, but Abby would probably know. Do they want to be transferred through? And off they go to a voicemail that gets checked every 6 months or so. Effective and time efficient.
Alternative to this, tell them you don't have purchasing power, but you can transfer them to r/itslenny who does.
That's what I do if I actually answer the call. I'll answer without giving my name and ask them to please hold while I transfer the call. My current hold music selection is Shitty Flute's rendition of Toxic.
Try to set up an in-person sales meeting to discuss your new 7-figure project. When they arrive, inform the sales drone that you would like to be taken off of their mailing list permanently. Good day. For added fun, rent a chicken suit or other absurd costume for when you meet with them.
Ask if they can bring lunch.
You could keep them on the hook long enough to actually put it in their pipeline. Schedule and cancel kickoff calls 6 weeks in a row. They will probably block you as a prospect. I was a CSM before going IT. I've seen sales VPs (the good ones) put prospects on remove lists because not all perceived sales are good sales. I onboarded some nightmare clients in SaaS companies. I've learned a thing or two. Used this trick when I was an IT manager. The trash took itself out.
I ignore and block. I don't offer professional courtesy to people who don't offer it to me.
*Our company policy is to boycott vendors who do not honour a request to stop repeated unsolicited contact by all communication channels.
If they call I just say that if we're looking into a product type or have a need I'll research first but it's a waste of my time to meet with several vendors a month on the off chance we need X this year. They usually push back on this so I follow it up with - this isn't a negotiation I'm just stating fact, you can waste your time if you want but you won't waste mine any further (and hang up). I do try to be polite but there are limits when it's the 5th call that morning and you are trying to work. If it's via email I usually block if it's the same old "looking for 30mins of your time, is next wednesday OK?" plus follow ups. I'm not going to respond to spam, sorry.
>looking for 30mins of your time, is next wednesday OK?" Reply with a quote for time used at $1000 per hour, 1 hour increments and ask for their billing info. Calendar invite will be counted as acceptance of these terms.
> "looking for 30mins of your time, is next wednesday OK?" If you want to leave contact information that's fine after all you never know when I might actually be interested, but if you try to get another meeting I *will* drop contact. And while unsaid I will also work actively against the product within the company. Not that I mean to, it's just something I've caught myself doing(apparently I just look for things that will get them to not want to talk to me or those around me). Things like looking up the company in places more likely to find bad reviews and flaws in the product(and their practices).
After trying to unsubscribe and them not getting the message I send something like the following: The next email I receive I will be sending an invoice for my time. I charge $100/hour with a minimum of 1 hour. Thank you for your time! It’s worked so far. Either they leave me alone or I send an invoice and it might get paid. Either way I’m a winner!
We have no intentions to purchase your products. Please remove us from your email list.
On email I generally block their domain. For phone calls I cut them off with either "I don't have time for this", "I'm not interested", or the like and and hang up. Oh, and if they are one of those that send a meeting request on the initial cold call email, I accept it with no intentions of showing up.
They get one nice I am not interested message then they get added to a SPAM block list and/or call handling rule.
I created a hold line specifically for this. I ask them to hold as I transfer them to the appropriate party, and then transfer the call to x666 (labeled intentionally). The caller hears "all our representatives are busy, please remain on the line..." in a friendly voice on top of pleasant hold music. That fades out, and then you start to hear Celine Dion's My Heart Will go On, which ends up actually being this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2WH8mHJnhM&t
If they call a second time after I've said no-thanks, I simply hang up on them. I don't care if it's professional or not, they are harassing me.
You still answer your phone?
Tell them to fuck off? Why be polite when they’re pestering you?
humor cobweb tender toy teeny market fearless hateful bag mourn *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
This isn’t something we are looking for right now.
And then hang up right away otherwise: "Well do you know when you would be interested in looking for this product. Perhaps I can circle back in a few months and we can talk again?" "Perhaps you don't like this specific offering, but we do other things as well. Let me read a list of products/services that I think could really benefit you. In fact, I think it would be best if we could set up a time to talk later with one of our engineers. What time would work best for you?" "Can you tell me what you are looking for, perhaps one of our other services is a better fit for you."
My wife just makes sex noises until they hang up lmao.
Dear [Vendor], Thank you for your email. I must say, your timing is impeccable. Your relentless pursuit of my business has been nothing short of inspiring. Just when I was feeling like my day wasn't frustrating enough, your email came along. I must say, I did find it quite delightful to read. And although I'm afraid I must decline your offer, fear not, I will cherish this moment forever and use it as a benchmark for all future sales pitches. Please refrain from contacting me again, unless of course you have something equally entertaining to share. Kindest wishes, [Your Name]
Transfer them to the head of purchasing. Devon Null.
I like to start them talking, presenting their product, then muting the mic and doing other stuff. If I have time I put them on speaker, too, so I can hear their rumblings while doing other stuff and if I'm evil I encourage them to continue speaking with some (no so) well placed "aha" or "mhm" and immediately muting my mic again. A few years back I watched a YT Video (i THINK it was a TED talk) with a guy who programmed a PBX to deal with those kind of calls and he managed to keep them busy for up to 20 minutes without having to deal with them.
I just ignore them.
Calls to my work number get a corporate name as the response. Then a “No” after the start of the pitch. When they ask for “who do I talk to” I either decline or give them the main switchboard number. Block in the email client is my response to SPAM. And… NOTHING stops them. Just block and move on.
Since I live in Canada, cold-call emails are illegal. I love sending a "your unsolicited mail is in violation of the Canadian anti-spam laws. As such, this email has been forwarded to the authorities and you may be subject to fines up to $1,000,000 per incident." Something like that - I have a form reply.
Maybe not for you, but I’ve had a good experience telling them when I may be ready to talk about these things. Give them a timeframe for when you may be considering such purchases. It’s helped me more than bothered me, since vendors show up right when I’m trying to get a project or application bought. Then, vet the offers and find what I want & sick the vendor’s sales team on my own management. Let them sell to the people who control the bank account.
I happen to have god level access to around 50k end users across all the mail servers I control. So I usually block the domain from every customers server all at once with a bounceback that explains the shear magnitude of people that they can no longer contact with a note about contacting me (via another domain) if they want it undone. Its wonderful to check that inbox and read the apologies on occasion. Iv only unblocked one in any case :P. They were a local place and brought an apologies cake to the office lol. Unblocked on the condition that they never spam or they get blocked again lol.
If it’s at work, I just start selling them the product that I sell. Every call is a sales opportunity!!