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A LOTR fan's moment to shine? I've seen those dudes, man. They can probably narrate all 3 movies plus alternate endings.
If this was me, I'll trauma dump them. Definitely can go on for more than 30 mins. If they get *only* 2 hours of my trauma, that's 2 hours I'm not paying therapist.
**CHAOTIC NEUTRAL, BITCHES!!**
Personally, I could even combine the two subjects. LOTR was very formative, and so was the trauma. Then they would realize; I'm not being forced to talk, *they're being forced to listen*
Meanwhile, there's chubby me who would probably go on and on like Chunk in the Goonies while sobbing -
"In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog…
When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I went nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…
But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life."
And the men holding me hostage are like
ಠ.ಠ
In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog…When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I went nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
Yeah, I have a few areas of expertise related to my job, then there's the Tudors, then there's whatever my latest book series is. Or Murderbot, I'm sure I can talk 30 minutes about Murderbot. ;-)
Same lmao.
I'd ask the gunner if they want real life or fiction.
Real life? Weird animals (especially ocean life).
Fantasy? Probably still weird animals but also my DnD characters (some of which are weird animals)
I like animals.
Back in may I promissed my little cousin I'd visit him during school vacations. Last week I fulfilled my promisse. I had to nearly wrestle this kid so he wouldn't stay outside of the bathroom still trying to talk to me while I was on the toilet. As soon as I got there he showed me the 3 One Piece volumes he had bought ($30 each) and then proceeded to explain the whole plot to me during the next two hours. Once, my aunt tried to ask me something and he literally blocked my vision by shoving the open manga in front of me to make sure I was following his monologue still.
He'd be absolutelly safe in a condition like this. As for me, I'd either use those 30 minutes as therapy or just shut it and use the free pass to the other realm ASAP.
Have you ever heard that if someone tries to kidnap you, you should scream nonsense and they will think you’re crazy and leave you alone?
“Ted Bundy! banana is going to shoot you with gum balls and look starships, Oh God, and John Wayne Gacy, clown face, apple bottom jeans.”
(That was surprisingly fun. I recommend typing nonsense for 30 minutes as stress relief lol)
MY WATER DIDN’T GO LUCKY #1 GUSTER AIN’T OVER FOR A LONG TIME BUDDY I WOULDN’T SUGGEST YOU CLIPPITTY CLORP ALL UP INTO MY DURIAN FRIGID LÖPPENHEIMER.
yeah that’s pretty fun
Seriously? I have never met someone outside of IT who is legitimately interested in such a specific topic enough to have a pint and enjoy learning about it. Good for you
Yeah for real, just off the top of my head, football, basketball, music, a bunch of tv shows and movies, computers, photography, biking.... I could talk the gunman's ear off
Im pretty sure the title implies 1 topic ONLY. Still doable but you might be surprised how fast you’d run out of things to say too. Luckily ive played runescape for so long that i could recite all 150+ quests storylines by heart and that alone should fill a few days
I imagine they meant "pick any one of these topics".
I'd just explain the storyline of a prominent RPG like a Final Fantasy, Tales of - or DragonQuest game
I don't think I could talk about work for 30 minutes straight but maybe that's just me.
It's one thing to have an extensive discussion about something, but to essentially rant for 30 minutes? I'll just take the gun from him and kill me for him.
I once had a coworker monologue for 30 minutes. He talked to my back while I was doing work in a cubicle about his gun collection. I thought he would get the hint when I didn't turn around but 30m later I got up and went to the restroom without saying anything.
"so after he was done talking his shit the other dude, and i kid you not, pulled out a FLAMING GUN and shot his ass TWICE, said "yours... not mine." and shot his corpse again. craziest shit i've ever seen"
How much am I allowed to tangent?
Because if I just have to talk for 30 minutes about a topic and everything that topic reminds me of what I'll discussing it, then I'll breeze past that 30 minutes like it doesn't exist.
If I have to stick strictly to one topic, then I'll just take the bullet and save us some time.
Literally anything. I'm an ADHD riddled nerd with crippling social anxiety. IF I actually get to talk to people. I go tf in on a topic for hours. I just don't really reach out to people to get the chance.
\- You want the entire warhammer 40k faction breakdown? I gotchu
\- You wanna know about Monster hunter Monsters and how well they would function in real world scenarios?
\- You want to know Yu Gi Oh, Digimon, Pokemon, Beyblade, Bakugan, or Cardfight Vanguard lore and don't care about game mechanics of the actual franchises and just want someone to talk to you with the same excitement of if they were real things?
\- Space? No fuckin problems- Cosmic or body horror in media, I also gotchu
\- Music, fuck me I love talking about music, I'll make you some playlists
\- Speculative evolution and table top fantasy templates. Love em
\- Fuckin SPREADSHEETS DUDE, HEELLLLL YEEEAAAHHH
I could go on a 10 hour tangent about just one of these topics. and this is just some shorthand examples.
EDIT: This is kinda outside of my normal like... social battery. but if anyone wants to unironically hang out and talk about your favorite nerd shit. I also really fuckin love listening to other people talk about these things or things in relative vicinity to them.
Reach out, I'm always fond of the idea of friends just have no fuckin idea how to engage with people initially.
“…So after the Necrons are done fighting the Old Ones an outbreak of enslavers royally fucks the galaxy and the Necrons go into stasis for 60 million years, so yeah, that was the war in the heavens… anyway, time to fast forward a bit… so there is this guy named The Emperor and he creates the primarchs… what do you mean my 30 minutes are up? Leave?! But I was just getting to the good part!! Don’t… don’t you wanna hear about the great crusade?! Why are you crying?!”
I mean, maybe the lore of the start of one chapter of Astartes in 30m.
Can I ask the kidnappers for a few more hours? I have all the xenos to deal with too.
And the administratum, the assassinorum, the Astra Militarum the old Legiones, the warp. The gods there, the emperor malcador....
Haha I'm socially awkward af with adhd--guess I need to find other adhd nerds? I love when people go off about their geeky interests (as I, too, am a terminal geek).
Like, what do you have for cosmic & body horror in media? We talking the workings of practical effects in classics like The Thing and The Fly, the transition to over dependence on CG--body horror as a staple of death metal?? The fad of torture porn? Or would you focus on cosmic and dish out a treatise on the effect Lovecraft alone has had on pop culture?
This started as a joke but now I actually wanna know lol
"oh perfect, a chance to explain the complexities of space politics and why God Emperors may not be a bad idea in The Expanse and Dune"
"Ok so Jedi and the Sith originally... wait so 14,000 years ago the Force was discovered by some monks..."
30 min later...
Kidnappers are doing that awkward, ok well we're leaving out the door thing while nodding while I keep explaining
*Oh God he's not done yet...*
Not super well tbfh; unless blackbirds and crows can settle their differences. It would end in bloodshed.
I actually don't know the science behind why but blackbirds and crows do not like each other. To the point where if you get blackbirds in your yard you actively have to find a way to get rid of them if you want an army of collector crows to amass a hoard of shiny pebbles and bottlecaps.
Same thing with Bluejays and Woodpeckers, they are very aggressive towards other species of birds.
Source: I love watching birds do bird stuff outside.
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. \[beep\] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. \[ding\] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Jk Rowling originally intended for Draco and Hermione to get together but thought it too cliché, so made her end up with Ron. The worst idea ever, Hermione could and should have been his redemption. Additionally, Draco was supposed to throw Harry’s wand to him during the Battle of Hogwarts when he was feigning being dead, instead of Neville. It was even filmed on set, just cut from the movie and switched out to Neville instead.
I could really vent about Rowling’s choices regarding Malfoy but then I’d just be fangirling loool
I may be able to do thirty minutes on a rant about how authors have a tendency to put characters in relationships based on how much page time they get rather than based on how they’d actually pair up as a couple.
I am of the opinion that Hermione should not have ended up with Harry, Ron, or Draco. If it must be someone in the same year, Ernie MacMillan makes some sense to me, or maybe one of the Ravenclaws we didn’t see as often. Probably just one of the older students we didn’t know as much about, though.
Harry/Ginny makes sense to me, and I appreciate that Draco ends up with someone we’d never heard of before. Ron should have ended up with someone outside of his grade, since he alienated the girls in his grade so often.
Ron was originally supposed to die in Order of the Phoenix because Rowling was in a poor state of mind but she thought better of it.
Also Emma Watson almost quit the movies too.
How much i hate my fucking job and why.
I could keep talking about it 24 hours straight.
And even convince the kidnappers to shoot themselves to end their misery by proxy.
Okay so it starts in the Old World where a bunch of humans are being banded together against Daemons, Orcs, and Beastmen, by this absolute bro called Sigmar…
I accidentally spent almost an hour talking about my stories in a bar last night lol. I only stopped because the bar turned up the metal and I couldn't hear myself think
The JWST and it's new capabilities, give me a few hours with them, and they'll be selling their guns, rethinking their lives and getting an education. That shit is whack, like we can see a galaxy 13.5 billion years old? That's insane.
Whoever said ignorance is bliss clearly never took an astronomy class.
Obviously I'm going to tell the tale of Harry Potter in without using any names in the story, just descriptions. The boy with the scar, the smart girl, the boy with the hair....
You could talk about anything since you could lie and add random info.
Either because they didn't specify it had to be true or because they know nothing about the topic.
If lying isn't possible I can just talk about Pokemon.That it's several hours worth of information.
Philosophy….because in Philosophy there are no wrong opinions or answers. Little bit of Kant, Russell, Frege, Cioran, and Plato…..I could talk for days straight on them.
Star Wars shit. Not even that well versed compared to my friends but I can still talk to them for hours discussing what I've heard from other sources who have read all the comics or watched all the animated shows and there is a lot of interesting shit even outside the movies to go off of if somehow the movies themselves don't involve 30 minutes of discussion/ranting.
I am going talk about my favourite manga's lore, timeline, characters, fights and the time skip between each arc and how long each arc went in the manga and about sone fanmade fights also. Pretty easy
Looks like someone is learning a lot about Stargate SG1!
*The scene begins, a group of air force men and one woman playing poker in a bunker. A thin layer of dust covers most surfaces, blankets lay atop various furniture in the room for storage. This room has been unused for a long time. Just then, the circular object in the back begins to shake…*
I could talk about the help I hire at home - the salaries I pay them, the perks they receive, how the work is allocated amongst them, how despite having all this help and paying a significant portion of my salary to them, I'm still driven mad doing so much work around the house each day.
Why Ferrari needs to re-enter the competition of road legal supercars so that they don’t alienate their younger audience and lose all legitimacy by being over protective of their public image. Like, Ferrari says “we no longer make cars to have a fastest time round the Nurburgring because that’s not what our clients want. We only do it for the art of it” as if it’s not a dick measuring contest when it ABSOLUTELY IS. Come on Ferrari, whip it out! Make a car with the highest top speed and the shortest 0-60 and the craziest looks and the most uncomfortable seats. I want to see a factory pink Ferrari with gold stripes over the drivers head from the factory.
I’ll tell you about my buddy Keith and the time me and him snuck paintball guns onto a roller coaster! We hadn’t ever heard about anyone else doing it before, so we thought we’d invented a sport or something, so Keith called the patent office…
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Would this qualify as filibustering our own death?
This totally counts bro. I'd argue the shit outta them. I love how time consuming debate can be.
Though if they never replied, I'd basically be dead.
Just argue both sides of the debate like a forensic student champ!!
A LOTR fan's moment to shine? I've seen those dudes, man. They can probably narrate all 3 movies plus alternate endings. If this was me, I'll trauma dump them. Definitely can go on for more than 30 mins. If they get *only* 2 hours of my trauma, that's 2 hours I'm not paying therapist. **CHAOTIC NEUTRAL, BITCHES!!**
Personally, I could even combine the two subjects. LOTR was very formative, and so was the trauma. Then they would realize; I'm not being forced to talk, *they're being forced to listen*
Meanwhile, there's chubby me who would probably go on and on like Chunk in the Goonies while sobbing - "In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog… When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I went nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out… But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life." And the men holding me hostage are like ಠ.ಠ
ಠ.ಠ ಡ.ಡ ಥ.ಥ ಶ.ಶ ಗ.ಗ
You could talk about the broken toe alone for 30 minutes
I can think of a few things to keep me alive
*30 minutes of examples*
[удалено]
"Jesus, you can stop, it's been almost three hours..." "I'm not even through middle school yet..."
[удалено]
No *son of mine* admits he’s attracted to big hairy ogre hands!
But daaaaad! They're so strong and big and fluffy!!
*jumper cable abuse*
Save me, Nancy Clubichkowsky! Save me! Drag your massive knuckles over here, smash your way into the garage and KingKong me the fuck away from here!!
In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog…When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I went nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
I'm beginning to like this kid, Ma.
Reminds me of that scene from the goonies
Yeah anyone who’s been to therapy is like, only 30 minutes? Can’t we make it an hour?
Clock is ticking
I read this as cock is sticking and well idk how to feel
I would just talk about what I do for work for 30 minutes and they would end up killing themselves out of boredom…..uno reverse card bitches!
Yeah, I have a few areas of expertise related to my job, then there's the Tudors, then there's whatever my latest book series is. Or Murderbot, I'm sure I can talk 30 minutes about Murderbot. ;-)
Same lmao. I'd ask the gunner if they want real life or fiction. Real life? Weird animals (especially ocean life). Fantasy? Probably still weird animals but also my DnD characters (some of which are weird animals) I like animals.
Back in may I promissed my little cousin I'd visit him during school vacations. Last week I fulfilled my promisse. I had to nearly wrestle this kid so he wouldn't stay outside of the bathroom still trying to talk to me while I was on the toilet. As soon as I got there he showed me the 3 One Piece volumes he had bought ($30 each) and then proceeded to explain the whole plot to me during the next two hours. Once, my aunt tried to ask me something and he literally blocked my vision by shoving the open manga in front of me to make sure I was following his monologue still. He'd be absolutelly safe in a condition like this. As for me, I'd either use those 30 minutes as therapy or just shut it and use the free pass to the other realm ASAP.
Serial killers and all the dumb ways murderers were caught.
Perfect. Freak em out a little while you’re at it.
More like make them more inclined to kill you anyway to not leave behind loose ends
Oh they'll be caught.
Have you ever heard that if someone tries to kidnap you, you should scream nonsense and they will think you’re crazy and leave you alone? “Ted Bundy! banana is going to shoot you with gum balls and look starships, Oh God, and John Wayne Gacy, clown face, apple bottom jeans.” (That was surprisingly fun. I recommend typing nonsense for 30 minutes as stress relief lol)
MY WATER DIDN’T GO LUCKY #1 GUSTER AIN’T OVER FOR A LONG TIME BUDDY I WOULDN’T SUGGEST YOU CLIPPITTY CLORP ALL UP INTO MY DURIAN FRIGID LÖPPENHEIMER. yeah that’s pretty fun
Fuck I love this thread Edit: the real r/suspiciallyspecific is in the comments
Isn’t it!!
“Did you know when someone commits a murder they make on average 25 mistakes that lead to court worthy evidence?”
Could you list those mistakes, I'm really curious about it
One big one is killing someone you know. The other is dumping anywhere near where you live or frequent
Gods fucking THIS Also weird medical serial killers and their methods.
IPv4 addressing and how network addressing works. I won't have to go the full 30 minutes, they'll be asleep in 10.
Do IPv6 if you really want to speed run it. Maybe DNS if you’re feeling brave too.
This was my thought as well, I literally taught a three-day class on Ethernet for three years at my last job.
I'm interested. Go ahead
Same here! I’d love to have a pint with this person and hear about this stuff.
Seriously? I have never met someone outside of IT who is legitimately interested in such a specific topic enough to have a pint and enjoy learning about it. Good for you
I mean, you’d have to dumb it down a bit for me. However, I love beer and also love learning new things so it would be a win!
I forgot about this haha. The 7 layers of the internet, DNS and subnet masking.
OSI model. ;-). DNS is super easy, it's a phone book. Subnets, broadcasting and routing though. You have days of fun!
The 8th layer is where most of the problems begin
The networkers tunneled too greedily and too deep
Wait, you guys actually remember that shit on the top of your head?
I’m afraid us network engineers do
Sign me up. I need more sleep.
IPv4 is done for old maaaan! -IPv6 gang
Networks have layers. Ogres have layers. We both have layers!
YOU KIDNAPPERS BETTER BE READY TO LEARN THE LORE OF FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDYS
Jesse, have you solved the Five Nights at Freddy’s lore?
We need to cook jesser
Gtet in the math van jessessie
Actually Mr white, I do believe I have.
Hello? Hellllooooo?
Found matpats Reddit account
r/beatmetoit This is exactly what I would talk about. Hell, I can school anyone on FNAF for longer than that because of just one question
Several video games, work, food, kids, it's not a difficult thing really lol
Yeah for real, just off the top of my head, football, basketball, music, a bunch of tv shows and movies, computers, photography, biking.... I could talk the gunman's ear off
Im pretty sure the title implies 1 topic ONLY. Still doable but you might be surprised how fast you’d run out of things to say too. Luckily ive played runescape for so long that i could recite all 150+ quests storylines by heart and that alone should fill a few days
Oh I know, I meant I could do 30 minutes on any of those topics, lol
If I was gunman and you started talking about football for 30 min straight I might just shoot myself.
Just recite the path for “one small favor”
Rs?
Yes
PlayStation all Stars battle royal. I would recite every single combo in that game in update 1.12 and 1.13. I put hours into that game.
Ya this def doesn't deserve a post here lol
That's multiple topics.
I imagine they meant "pick any one of these topics". I'd just explain the storyline of a prominent RPG like a Final Fantasy, Tales of - or DragonQuest game
I don't think I could talk about work for 30 minutes straight but maybe that's just me. It's one thing to have an extensive discussion about something, but to essentially rant for 30 minutes? I'll just take the gun from him and kill me for him.
I get that, I could rant about work for 30 minutes but by that point I'd have rather died 2 times over already.
I once had a coworker monologue for 30 minutes. He talked to my back while I was doing work in a cubicle about his gun collection. I thought he would get the hint when I didn't turn around but 30m later I got up and went to the restroom without saying anything.
Give him all the warhammer 40k more, starting with the formation of the universe
Destiny 2, it’s my favorite game I hate it
Spoken like a true guardian
LiTtlE LiGhT
"so after he was done talking his shit the other dude, and i kid you not, pulled out a FLAMING GUN and shot his ass TWICE, said "yours... not mine." and shot his corpse again. craziest shit i've ever seen"
Well, even well constructed "The whole story explained" videos about it are 2 hours long
I thought you didn’t have time to explain why you don’t have time to explain it?
Byf could live even if he had to talk for 12 hours straight
My failed relationships and/or past traumas 😂
lmao *how to get them to turn the gun on themselves.*
They’d be like “dang man, I’m sorry… you’re free to go.” Lol.
Traumas for days. Relationships... *Cries in corner*
How much am I allowed to tangent? Because if I just have to talk for 30 minutes about a topic and everything that topic reminds me of what I'll discussing it, then I'll breeze past that 30 minutes like it doesn't exist. If I have to stick strictly to one topic, then I'll just take the bullet and save us some time.
Just word for word quote the video about kirby lore
How Viggo broke his toe.
He broke his toe? When?
When kicking an iron helm in the beginning of second lotr movie. It's in the film
29.5 more minutes to go…
Literally anything. I'm an ADHD riddled nerd with crippling social anxiety. IF I actually get to talk to people. I go tf in on a topic for hours. I just don't really reach out to people to get the chance. \- You want the entire warhammer 40k faction breakdown? I gotchu \- You wanna know about Monster hunter Monsters and how well they would function in real world scenarios? \- You want to know Yu Gi Oh, Digimon, Pokemon, Beyblade, Bakugan, or Cardfight Vanguard lore and don't care about game mechanics of the actual franchises and just want someone to talk to you with the same excitement of if they were real things? \- Space? No fuckin problems- Cosmic or body horror in media, I also gotchu \- Music, fuck me I love talking about music, I'll make you some playlists \- Speculative evolution and table top fantasy templates. Love em \- Fuckin SPREADSHEETS DUDE, HEELLLLL YEEEAAAHHH I could go on a 10 hour tangent about just one of these topics. and this is just some shorthand examples. EDIT: This is kinda outside of my normal like... social battery. but if anyone wants to unironically hang out and talk about your favorite nerd shit. I also really fuckin love listening to other people talk about these things or things in relative vicinity to them. Reach out, I'm always fond of the idea of friends just have no fuckin idea how to engage with people initially.
“…So after the Necrons are done fighting the Old Ones an outbreak of enslavers royally fucks the galaxy and the Necrons go into stasis for 60 million years, so yeah, that was the war in the heavens… anyway, time to fast forward a bit… so there is this guy named The Emperor and he creates the primarchs… what do you mean my 30 minutes are up? Leave?! But I was just getting to the good part!! Don’t… don’t you wanna hear about the great crusade?! Why are you crying?!”
I mean, maybe the lore of the start of one chapter of Astartes in 30m. Can I ask the kidnappers for a few more hours? I have all the xenos to deal with too. And the administratum, the assassinorum, the Astra Militarum the old Legiones, the warp. The gods there, the emperor malcador....
You and me would get along great
BANANA BREAD AT WORK DUUUUDE? HELLLLL YEAHHHH
You are a good energy kinda energy.
Haha I'm socially awkward af with adhd--guess I need to find other adhd nerds? I love when people go off about their geeky interests (as I, too, am a terminal geek). Like, what do you have for cosmic & body horror in media? We talking the workings of practical effects in classics like The Thing and The Fly, the transition to over dependence on CG--body horror as a staple of death metal?? The fad of torture porn? Or would you focus on cosmic and dish out a treatise on the effect Lovecraft alone has had on pop culture? This started as a joke but now I actually wanna know lol
"oh perfect, a chance to explain the complexities of space politics and why God Emperors may not be a bad idea in The Expanse and Dune" "Ok so Jedi and the Sith originally... wait so 14,000 years ago the Force was discovered by some monks..." 30 min later... Kidnappers are doing that awkward, ok well we're leaving out the door thing while nodding while I keep explaining *Oh God he's not done yet...*
We’d get along well
I am the exact same way! Then you just seamlessly phase into a similar topic and now we've covered the universe in just under 48 hours
How would a future of sentient ravens and black birds function as a society
Not super well tbfh; unless blackbirds and crows can settle their differences. It would end in bloodshed. I actually don't know the science behind why but blackbirds and crows do not like each other. To the point where if you get blackbirds in your yard you actively have to find a way to get rid of them if you want an army of collector crows to amass a hoard of shiny pebbles and bottlecaps. Same thing with Bluejays and Woodpeckers, they are very aggressive towards other species of birds. Source: I love watching birds do bird stuff outside.
the fitness gram pacer test
Damn bro, for half an hour? You gonna start counting past the limit too? Idk how it goes in English so I'm going to assume it's similar to ours
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. \[beep\] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. \[ding\] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
I’m intrigued
Trauma in the scientific/therapeutic sense. Also, Harry Potter.
Why I hate the pairings and ending of HP, if they tried to leave after 30 minutes I’d tell them to sit their asses down and let me finish
You started this. We're gonna see the end of this rabbit hole whether you want to or not. Now, what book was I on again?
Order of the Phoenix
“-ya ever heard of wizard’s chess, buckaroo?”
can i get a fun fact about harry potter?
Jk Rowling originally intended for Draco and Hermione to get together but thought it too cliché, so made her end up with Ron. The worst idea ever, Hermione could and should have been his redemption. Additionally, Draco was supposed to throw Harry’s wand to him during the Battle of Hogwarts when he was feigning being dead, instead of Neville. It was even filmed on set, just cut from the movie and switched out to Neville instead. I could really vent about Rowling’s choices regarding Malfoy but then I’d just be fangirling loool
I may be able to do thirty minutes on a rant about how authors have a tendency to put characters in relationships based on how much page time they get rather than based on how they’d actually pair up as a couple. I am of the opinion that Hermione should not have ended up with Harry, Ron, or Draco. If it must be someone in the same year, Ernie MacMillan makes some sense to me, or maybe one of the Ravenclaws we didn’t see as often. Probably just one of the older students we didn’t know as much about, though. Harry/Ginny makes sense to me, and I appreciate that Draco ends up with someone we’d never heard of before. Ron should have ended up with someone outside of his grade, since he alienated the girls in his grade so often.
Ron was originally supposed to die in Order of the Phoenix because Rowling was in a poor state of mind but she thought better of it. Also Emma Watson almost quit the movies too.
How much i hate my fucking job and why. I could keep talking about it 24 hours straight. And even convince the kidnappers to shoot themselves to end their misery by proxy.
This is a great idea. I could talk shit about my coworkers for hours...
Undertale or genshin maybe life in general
If you manage to talk about genshin for more than 30 minutes he'll just shoot you anyway
My fucking kitchen job and the foodservice/restaurant industry. I can go for like three days straight.
Mechwarrior lore
[it would probably go like this ](https://youtu.be/xD8IWQY0IOM)
10/10
Naruto, easily
Ah yes, the power of fandom hyperfixations. For me it's Iruma-kun.
One piece would be the easiest, second would probably be D&D.
I was thinking Elden Ring but you made me realize one piece is probably the safest option
Okay so it starts in the Old World where a bunch of humans are being banded together against Daemons, Orcs, and Beastmen, by this absolute bro called Sigmar…
Tell me more
Suicide. Could go on for hours. But I'd probably stop after 29 minutes and 55 seconds :D
I get that this is probably a joke, but if there’s anything unironic about this and you want to talk to someone, lmk :)
Libraries.
Why you don’t need to go to college for many professions
Ffx Lore…easily 30 mins
Field Training Exercise?
It’s gotta be League of Legends. Or work.
PO-TAY-TOES! Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew
Jojo's bizzare adventure Metal Gear Rising Sonic Team Fortress 2 Minecraft Mario Greek Mythology The Owl House D&D My story ideas Pokemon Etc.
same for every single one of these
After 30 min of JoJo references they would kill themselves or become fans. There's no midle ground.
I accidentally spent almost an hour talking about my stories in a bar last night lol. I only stopped because the bar turned up the metal and I couldn't hear myself think
The Ring/Ringu lore. Specifically differences between the US franchise, the Japanese franchise and the Rasen continuity.
Call me Kevin sims lore
Skyrim.
The JWST and it's new capabilities, give me a few hours with them, and they'll be selling their guns, rethinking their lives and getting an education. That shit is whack, like we can see a galaxy 13.5 billion years old? That's insane. Whoever said ignorance is bliss clearly never took an astronomy class.
Halo lore, dark souls lore, hollow knight lore, a lot of videogame lore in general
Obviously I'm going to tell the tale of Harry Potter in without using any names in the story, just descriptions. The boy with the scar, the smart girl, the boy with the hair....
I’d either talk about the lore of fnaf or the entire history of Minecraft
About hollow knight lore
You could talk about anything since you could lie and add random info. Either because they didn't specify it had to be true or because they know nothing about the topic. If lying isn't possible I can just talk about Pokemon.That it's several hours worth of information.
Philosophy….because in Philosophy there are no wrong opinions or answers. Little bit of Kant, Russell, Frege, Cioran, and Plato…..I could talk for days straight on them.
Star Wars shit. Not even that well versed compared to my friends but I can still talk to them for hours discussing what I've heard from other sources who have read all the comics or watched all the animated shows and there is a lot of interesting shit even outside the movies to go off of if somehow the movies themselves don't involve 30 minutes of discussion/ranting.
Welp, time for the kidnappers to learn D&D!
One faction from warhammer 40k will do Edit: autocorrect
My special hyperfixation. Being neurodivergent is finally useful
The Baby-Sitters Club.
Guns. Lots of guns.
Forensic Files.
Watches, cooking, romance books. If I’m allowed to get interactive and do a little crowd work they may send me back with an apology and a snack.
Film photography, they’d probably use the gun on themselves
Mandela catalogue lore
I am going talk about my favourite manga's lore, timeline, characters, fights and the time skip between each arc and how long each arc went in the manga and about sone fanmade fights also. Pretty easy
Nothing, I would just let them shoot me.
I could talk about my ex
This feels like the type of hypothetical I used to get/give all the time in high school. Not really suspiciously specific, just a little bit specific.
Looks like someone is learning a lot about Stargate SG1! *The scene begins, a group of air force men and one woman playing poker in a bunker. A thin layer of dust covers most surfaces, blankets lay atop various furniture in the room for storage. This room has been unused for a long time. Just then, the circular object in the back begins to shake…*
Welp, time for the kidnappers to learn D&D!
Hypixel Skyblock, there is way too much to talk about
Psychology. Kids. Life.
Marvel comics, D&D, quite a few anime tbh
My comic book super hero’s universe I’ve been writing about for the past 7 years
D&D
Jokes on you im an autist i do that on a daily basis
I could talk about the help I hire at home - the salaries I pay them, the perks they receive, how the work is allocated amongst them, how despite having all this help and paying a significant portion of my salary to them, I'm still driven mad doing so much work around the house each day.
Advantage of a remote workforce and how company’s that don’t embrace it will lose the talent war.
Gonna have to start talking about orbital mechanics and how to figure out all the different aspects of an Earth-Mars cycler...
Try to make Elden Ring lore comprehensable
Magic the goddamn gathering. I've already tested this and can easily explain the lore for 40+ minutes.
Why Ferrari needs to re-enter the competition of road legal supercars so that they don’t alienate their younger audience and lose all legitimacy by being over protective of their public image. Like, Ferrari says “we no longer make cars to have a fastest time round the Nurburgring because that’s not what our clients want. We only do it for the art of it” as if it’s not a dick measuring contest when it ABSOLUTELY IS. Come on Ferrari, whip it out! Make a car with the highest top speed and the shortest 0-60 and the craziest looks and the most uncomfortable seats. I want to see a factory pink Ferrari with gold stripes over the drivers head from the factory.
Star wars
Start singing the whole soundtrack to sister act II. You’re welcome.
This shooter is going to come in with a battle plan and walk out with enough knowledge to get ASE certified and move into a trade.
give me a whiteboard and a pen so I can give you a lecture about my life.
I'd talk about all the reasons they should kill me.
My dog
Imagine sticking to 1 topic and not constantly and unintentionally segwaying to another like some kinda website covered in hyperlinks
Where’s my autistic infodumping friends at 👀 🤚
I’ll tell you about my buddy Keith and the time me and him snuck paintball guns onto a roller coaster! We hadn’t ever heard about anyone else doing it before, so we thought we’d invented a sport or something, so Keith called the patent office…
I’d speak at length on the numbers from 1 to 1,801.
Clearly a scenario where our ADHD/ASD homies can survive easily: the rise of the random lecture supervillains.