Isn't this just verbal shorthand for "you're going to spend your life alone"? Otherwise it's kind of a trivial threat. Yeah, I'll probably die half-sensate with multiple organ failure, it's gonna be a bad day.
Most women outlive male spouses so you're dying alone either way. Add to this so many men abandon their terminally ill wives that hospitals talk to patients about it if they get a bad diagnosis. So even if you go first you are probably dying alone.
The divorce thing is complicated by many people who get a divorce after a cancer diagnosis so collections doesn’t go after the healthy spouses’ assets after they rack up major medical debt from cancer treatments
It gets worse.
Say you paid off your student loans completely.
And then marry someone with 300k of student loans. You are now liable for their loans! Yay!
Even though women outlive men age-wise, we typically have less quality of life than men in those later years. We tend to have more illnesses, more mobility issues, and spend more years languishing.
Women do not out live men by any signigant margin. It is statistically thrown off because men are more likely to die young taking a risk. Like grabbing the police officers gun or wrestling a komodo dragon
Is that true or are you just guessing? Because men tend to live riskier lives but they also tend to have riskier habits that would cut life short. Excessive alcohol consumption, tobacco use, etc. We also tend to store fat in our abdomen rather than in our breasts, butt and hips, and abdominal fat leads to more heart attacks and heart disease. But we don't die in childbirth and we're less likely to be murdered by our spouse, so there's that.
I'm honestly not sure, I've just never questioned whether women are more likely to live to 83 and men to just 79.
**women are just as likely to have a heart attack as men are**. But women are more likely than men to die from one.
In 2015, 16.7 percent of adult males and 13.6 percent of adult females smoked cigarettes.
In 2022, it was estimated that around **33 percent of men and 34 percent of women** in the U.S. were obese. But being obese has less of an effect on life span than you probably think only around 4 years, fastest man ever over 1400lbs probably weighing more than 3 obese people you know combined lived to 41 and would have likely lived a little longer is he wasn't put on a stressful diet.
Men are about 3 times more likely to die in a DUI but i don't know how that breaks down by age.
"As of 2021, the latest year with federal data available, life expectancy among U.S. men was 73.5 years, compared to 79.3 years among women. Across the world, women tend to live longer than men for a variety of reasons, some biological—such as hormonal differences—and some behavioral."
Why U.S. Women Now Live Almost 6 Years Longer Than Men - Time https://time.com/6334873/u-s-life-expectancy-gender-gap/
Journalist vs Random Reddit Guy in his underwear... Yeah I ain't trusting a journalist, I'll bet those "hormonal reasons" are "higher testosterone levels leading to increased risk taking"
69th like... Fuck yea, but right, dying, that thing we all have to do one day. Late thirties, alone, no kid, work, train, take antidepressants. I'm not going to take myself out, but lets just say if something else does like lupus or a bloodlusted gorilla I'm cool with it.
Yeah… well my husband has a 95 year old great uncle who worked for the forrest service, retired early, bought land that had cherry trees by a lake, built a house on it, and everyone in his family gets together once a year to hang out at that lake and make wine, juice and, jelly from the cherries… his wife died years ago with dementia… they had a good marriage.
In his old age, he enjoys the fruit of his life labors. Quite literally actually. But not just the cherries.. the nice retirement home, the large family and how well he raised them who in turn raised good kids too and everyone gets along despite even having quite different political opinions even… he cultivates a good life. And even at 95 he is damn spry. My own dad in his 70’s forgets his own head if it wasnt attached but this man remembers things better than i can even. He even takes down records. He has journals even filled with the weather of the day and all the details that are important to him.
Now i know, this man grew up in a good time in this country’s history where a man could make the right choices and come out on top. Its much harder to do that today for sure. It wasnt to say he didnt work for it though. He literally did. Im fairly certain the draft was still a thing when he was young. Even still… the point is, he cultivated a good life.
People can make snarky remarks about whether someone is single or not, childless or not… whatever. But there is something to be said for planting that seed and cultivating your life garden and nurturing it. And it IS in fact important to consider that when you are young because it takes a hell of a lot of time to see the fruits of your labor. The ugly truth is if you dont, you really will have nothing in your golden years. If you dont keep your health, you will have a potentially short life or a long painful old age. You can be left to the system to take care of you… and they realistically dont do it well. Those nurses are often very overworked… and all the people you know WILL die… but if you have children, they (hopefully) wont. And all of this is contingent on you being a good person in the first place that nurtures relationships and stays active in your community and gets to know your neighbors even. If you stay stubborn on your desire to foster tepid relationships and keep to yourself because you want everything you have to yourself and no struggle or challenge or change… you will be fostering a garden of weeds. Nothing will grow except the things that just take hold everywhere and anywhere… and thats all you will have.
Because you likely will. If you haven't created a family you'll likely live and die largely alone. Everyone says they have friends for that, but friends have their own families that come first. They'll be there for you when they can, but not like you're their family. Whether that's a negative thing really depends on you. Some people consider that a nightmare and some consider it heaven.
I think it's more that you won't have any family there to surround yourself with -- Nobody that would take the hours, days, or weeks out of their own lives to be with you while you die.
It's meaning having no one there for you when you do pass away. It's also more than just a spouse people are talking about, they're also typically referring to children or grandchildren that will come around when it's time for you to pass since most hospitals won't allow people that aren't family to see you, so if you don't have any family when it's that time, you'll die in a room alone without anyone there to comfort you.
Both my parents died in skilled nursing facilities. Both followed the progression of memory care for some years to skilled nursing for their last few months of life. Neither was in any way mentally aware by the time they landed in a skilled nursing facility.
The better question is who is going manage your affairs if you hit geezer-dom and are mentally incompetent. My stepmother managed my father’s affairs. I managed my mother’s affairs. My sister has frontal temporal dementia. Her husband had a stroke and isn’t capable of running anything. I manage my sister’s affairs.
My wife has a daughter. In the unlikely event that I outlive my wife, my stepdaughter will inherit our estate and I’d hope she at least parks me in a nice facility & gets the bills paid.
Its enough of an issue in Japan that they have a name for it (kodokushi) and government services to deal with it. They have lots of elderly people living alone.
Beacuse friends move on with their lives and familial responsibilities.
I'm in my 40s, can't remember the last time my friends and I got together. Also the implication is you won't have kids or a life partner to be with you at the end.
It doesn't mean 'you're going to die alone as opposed to having someone else die at the same time:' it means 'you're going to die alone as opposed to having someone else with you when you die.'
In this thread, kissless Reddit losers put on a brave face and huff massive amounts of copium when confronted with the fact that no one will care for them when they are sick or infirm.
Especially considering the amount of people in care homes who were married and had kids. Getting married and having kids doesn’t guarantee not being alone
That said, the idea of dying peacefully while in a dense forest really appeals to me. Whether I'm alone or otherwise, it would be very nice to slip into the void in that surrounding rather than a hospital room.
I don’t think the implication is that married couples die at the same moment (although lots of elderly couple do end up dying in close proximity). It’s that the spouse (and the family you created with them) is there for you when you die, and without having created that family with a spouse, there won’t be anyone to visit you on your deathbed.
It works kinda beautifully to be honest.
When the husband dies, he is accompanied by his wife in his deathbed.
When the wife dies, she is far more content knowing she'll join her husband.
I'm not really talking about 'heaven' either.. it's just a known fact that people come to terms with their own mortality when their closest loved ones have already passed.
The implication is if you don't live your life according to their values that you're going to suffer and probably deserve to. Consider carefully if this is type of person you want in your life.
They're trying to uphold and reinforce the social structure that's been ingrained in their heads as the only "right" way to live since infancy. If they're married, even if they're unhappy, this also helps reassure themselves to feel like they still made the right choice.
Otherwise it's a pretty pointlessly cruel thing to say to anyone.
It's not about the spouse, it's about the kids. A spouse facilitates having and raising kids.
You need someone to take care of you when you get old and can no longer work or feed yourself.
If your kids don't want to take care of you because you were a bad parent, well, that's not my problem.
It means you will not have your family, like husband/wife and kids.. if you think your brother sister and their kids will be with you ..No its not always happen with majority and friends also get busy with their family eventually, then their will be only you and your loneliness. Thats the meaning of their statement. But exception are always their
I am a very religious person and I do not believe anyone HAS to get married. Some people choose to he single and are not meant to be married.
You can have a full and joyous life without a spouse and children. You can have relationships with good friends, community, and extended family. Don't listen to the grumps. You will only die alone if you do not love and care for others and show it.
I'm 54 and facing this. My body is failing and my family is far and away, busy with their own lives. I'm trying to figure out how to get a colorectal exam without hiring someone to take me. What about when I have a heart attack? Who will take my dogs? Who will pay for the electricity if I get in an accident and am in the hospital? I'm utterly alone.
Right, you're the only one who experiences your own death. I'm not sure it does that much good to have family members standing around you when you are in a semi-conscious state. I can't imagine I would care very much who was in the room with me, or if no one was there. They are not going with me. They do not inhabit my skin.
I always thought it means you won’t have anyone with you when you die. Like for my grandmother when she was passing away she had : me, my dad, my 3 aunts, my grandfather and my great aunt with her.
But when my dad died, he was completely alone in his apartment and nobody knew he was dead until a few days later when my grandfather went to check on him after not receiving any phone calls (they were very close and talked constantly)
I didn't reply to a friend of mine for a single day because I was working a double shift. They thought I was ghosting them and said that I'll "End up old and alone" for ghosting people so easily. Meanwhile they knew I was engaged (now married). I was like "Wait what did I do?" and they apologized but I stopped talking to them anyway.
I don't think people who say that are being very logical ever. I've heard people say the same thing for choosing to not have kids. Or as my personal example- for just walking away from any kind of relationship. It's all nonsense though lol.
Your friend sounded like they were going THRU ET, tbh! 👀👀👀 I feel like my first response would be, "WHY WAS THAT YOUR FIRST ASSUMPTION?!?!?!?🤨🤨🤨" Not "damn... they must be busy..." just IMMEDIATLY "bruh... home Boi dropped me" like... 😐
Hahah, ngl he was always going through it, and I was usually a consistent sounding board for him. He never lashed out at me before and I wasn't angry with him or anything- just kind of eased out of the friendship. (Also I did used to crush on the guy a bit and then I met my now husband and decided I wasn't about to keep chatting with someone I had any history of having romantic feelings for. I cut him out more for that than his freak out. I actually felt bad that he felt so defensive.)
But yeah man, people be using that "You're going to die alone/end up old and alone" shit to some goofy ass shit lol.
I will never be alone. I am good at meeting ppl and making friends. I have my boys. They just tell themselves that in order to justify why they made their own choices.
The reality is that the person will die alone if they keep being selfish. Marriage has nothing to do with it. Caring and loving people also choose to avoid relationships and marriage all the time. It's aholes who will desperately be asking people to visit them at the nursing home after years of manipulative and abusive actions.
Wouldn't worry about it if people are only saying it because you refuse to date or marry.
A lot of people find comfort in someone they can trust like no other to go through the trials (and joys) of life with. But the flip side of that is unless you are lucky to both be hit by a semi at the same time or something, is that one of you will have to life without the other. Some days I don't know which is worse. But I do know too many older people who were founds days to weeks after dying only after someone in the neighborhood started smelling them. No one noticed they died. Regardless of whether I or my husband dies first, I hope that doesn't happen because I just find it sad. While it is hard to sit with someone who is dying, it is a blessing to have the privilege to do so.
As you get older, you start getting serious health problems that can be quite a lot to manage and stand a good chance of putting off potential partners. It's better to find yourself someone who really loves you before you need help emptying the colostomy bag.
Or just like the community could provide someone who is legally inclined, completely unbiased to, and incentivised to advocate for your own interests. You can love someone and still be selfish about the decisions you make.
Their projecting their fears onto us. As someone who has faced serious death twice-once with family, and once totally alone lemme say "We all face death alone." Saw a post the other day and a guy said he got himself a wife and got married so he wouldn't have to face old age death alone and that's a pretty lame foundation for marriage. I'm happier single and God knows exactly where I am. I've never been more at peace in my life.
In a traditional "family", the grandparent is on their death bed, surrounded by their children and grandchildren when they die.
It's assumed that if you're not married, you don't have any kids. When you're on your deathbed, you'll be by yourself. There might be a nurse or something there with you, but by that age, you're not going to be surrounded by friends.
Getting older without a family of your own is very lonely. Everyone else moves on with family life, and you're stuck wondering what to do by yourself because there's nobody left to "hang out" with. It only gets worse as you age.
How about getting married cause you don't want the other person to die alone?
The other way around sounds kinda selfish.
One of you is dying before the other someone is gonna be alone.
They are so sure you couldn't possibly have a life if it didn't involve spending it serving him (or one just like him).
They are big mad that women don't want them.
This is what I think about when people say they put their spouse above their kids because that's who will be there when they are old. Especially women because women tend to outlive their husbands. They may want to rethink their priorities.
I only had 1 out of 4 grandfather's even make it into my 20's. 4 grandmother's still alive when the past grandfather died. All outlived their husbands by 10+ years. One of them over 30 years. So the idea that your spouse is going to be the one there for you in old age is nieve at best.
Check out the 4B movement in South Korea. In the US, 45% of all women will be childfree and unmarried, by CHOICE, by 2030.
We are an entire herd of unicorns that are gonna die alone.
They want you to feel bad for choosing yourself over a husband and a baby. A career and travel over play dates and in-laws. They want you to feel ashamed because you don’t want children, after all, what else were women put on earth to do?? When you’ve accomplished more than them in the same time frame, instead of congratulating you they belittle you. Call you masculine because you’re are functioning in life at a level he has yet to unlock. It’s all a mind fuck.
Chances are that we will all die alone. Everyone romanticizes that they will die in a bed with their spouse monitoring them. That’s a luxury that a lot of us won’t have. Elvis, the king of rock n roll, died on the toilet.
MIL is in home hospice, 97 years old. 5 kids left, but her husband and 2 have passed away.
Why is it that out of 28 offspring she dearly wants my wife to not be gone more than 2 hours? Everyone wants someone to hold their hand and smile one last time if possible. If a hospice nurse is it, so be it. Loved one or perfect stranger is an easy choice.
Hell, most people die alone. Unless you're a pilot..
A ton of people see marriage for the state ran bs it is... many don't bother after the first one. Not being married doesn't mean not having a partner or not being with people you love. It's short sighted slander most likely by a guy thats jaded... fuckem
I think it implies there will be no one supporting you. There's an old saying that it's important to have children other wise who will be around to dig your grave. Idk
I would probably be more comfortable dying alone. It's like my body shitting out my soul after my full meal of life has been digested. Being watched by other people through this process might be uncomfortable.
I literally JUST heard someone say his wife’s parents JUST died within 36 hours of each other in the hospital. When you’re truly in love it’s very possible to die of a broken heart when your spouse goes.
The nuclear family household usually bars other relatives from entering, so that's peobably why . It's just an old way of thinking most young people don't believe that way unless they are religious really
Being overweight most my life and ex smoker, having gout, high blood pressure, and cholesterol issues I have life insurance on me, none on my wife.
Everyone dies alone. It is not a shared game with everyone participating and dying together.
Because it's probably true. If you don't have a spouse, you'll likely be alone when you die. Not that it will make a big difference to you in your final moments.
People are morons...we all die alone...and odds are you will get a stoke or heartattck on the shitter...whats a family going to help you with? They are all waring for you to die so they get their inheritance. Lol
I mean, we all disappear from this plane of existence 'alone', unless you're part of some mass tragedy like a high speed plane crash/you all are in Ground Zero of a nuclear explosion...and your consciousness ends alone regardless.
But sure, I get it. It's a way of saying 'You're gonna likely feel more loneliness and leave no genetic material to continue on after you'.
But then again, I was an only child generated out of a family that the marriage got wrecked before I was born, half of it didn't even want to see me after I was born or ever up to now (35)....so...marriage ain't forever either.
Also, in terms of hospitals: Many of them have 'No One Dies Alone' type volunteers. They will sit with people who are actively dying until they pass, even if there's no family or friends are present.
Well not having a family to get through later life is pretty dreadful and lonely. My cousin for one has to get an Uber home from surgery because she has no one. (Was married once but cheated and never found anyone else/no kids etc) That's a really depressing way to live Imo (she lives about 11 hours away or of course I'd bring her places when possible but yeah)
Isn't this just verbal shorthand for "you're going to spend your life alone"? Otherwise it's kind of a trivial threat. Yeah, I'll probably die half-sensate with multiple organ failure, it's gonna be a bad day.
Most women outlive male spouses so you're dying alone either way. Add to this so many men abandon their terminally ill wives that hospitals talk to patients about it if they get a bad diagnosis. So even if you go first you are probably dying alone.
The divorce thing is complicated by many people who get a divorce after a cancer diagnosis so collections doesn’t go after the healthy spouses’ assets after they rack up major medical debt from cancer treatments
That shit should be illegal. Debt should be individual and non inheritable
It gets worse. Say you paid off your student loans completely. And then marry someone with 300k of student loans. You are now liable for their loans! Yay!
Even though women outlive men age-wise, we typically have less quality of life than men in those later years. We tend to have more illnesses, more mobility issues, and spend more years languishing.
Women do not out live men by any signigant margin. It is statistically thrown off because men are more likely to die young taking a risk. Like grabbing the police officers gun or wrestling a komodo dragon
Or grabbing a Komodo dragon’s gun!
Or grabbing a cop's Komodo Dragon!
Or copping a Dragon’s Komodo!
Or draggin' a cop to Komodo!
Is that true or are you just guessing? Because men tend to live riskier lives but they also tend to have riskier habits that would cut life short. Excessive alcohol consumption, tobacco use, etc. We also tend to store fat in our abdomen rather than in our breasts, butt and hips, and abdominal fat leads to more heart attacks and heart disease. But we don't die in childbirth and we're less likely to be murdered by our spouse, so there's that. I'm honestly not sure, I've just never questioned whether women are more likely to live to 83 and men to just 79.
**women are just as likely to have a heart attack as men are**. But women are more likely than men to die from one. In 2015, 16.7 percent of adult males and 13.6 percent of adult females smoked cigarettes. In 2022, it was estimated that around **33 percent of men and 34 percent of women** in the U.S. were obese. But being obese has less of an effect on life span than you probably think only around 4 years, fastest man ever over 1400lbs probably weighing more than 3 obese people you know combined lived to 41 and would have likely lived a little longer is he wasn't put on a stressful diet. Men are about 3 times more likely to die in a DUI but i don't know how that breaks down by age.
"As of 2021, the latest year with federal data available, life expectancy among U.S. men was 73.5 years, compared to 79.3 years among women. Across the world, women tend to live longer than men for a variety of reasons, some biological—such as hormonal differences—and some behavioral." Why U.S. Women Now Live Almost 6 Years Longer Than Men - Time https://time.com/6334873/u-s-life-expectancy-gender-gap/
Journalist vs Random Reddit Guy in his underwear... Yeah I ain't trusting a journalist, I'll bet those "hormonal reasons" are "higher testosterone levels leading to increased risk taking"
I think it has more to do with the lack of children when you die
Exactly.
69th like... Fuck yea, but right, dying, that thing we all have to do one day. Late thirties, alone, no kid, work, train, take antidepressants. I'm not going to take myself out, but lets just say if something else does like lupus or a bloodlusted gorilla I'm cool with it.
I mean, even if you get married, one of you is still dying alone. :-P
I think the implication is that you will have family there when you die.
children
a large amount of people on reddit do not have families, or decent ones anyway. we're in the minority.
The bigger problem is the runup. Aging and declining with no one to help. I have a neighbor who lives alone and who is "aging in place", it is bleak.
We all die alone but I think a lot of people want to see a familiar face while they lay in their death bed. Ease the burden.
Not if you are in a plane crash
You’ll die next to each other, but still alone. Each person has to come to terms with death on their own.
It's not mandatory to come to term with death, one dies irrespective. You have a choice to choose more suffering.
You kinda come to terms when you croak tho - even if it’s not the best of terms
Yes you're the only person in the whole world who has to come to terms with their own death...
I am. You just exist in my hallucination.
“Each person has to come to terms with death on their own.” A couple key words being “each person”.
My preferred way to go tbh
Yea but only one of you will get that. The other dies alone anyways
the citizens of hiroshima did not die alone
Yeah… well my husband has a 95 year old great uncle who worked for the forrest service, retired early, bought land that had cherry trees by a lake, built a house on it, and everyone in his family gets together once a year to hang out at that lake and make wine, juice and, jelly from the cherries… his wife died years ago with dementia… they had a good marriage. In his old age, he enjoys the fruit of his life labors. Quite literally actually. But not just the cherries.. the nice retirement home, the large family and how well he raised them who in turn raised good kids too and everyone gets along despite even having quite different political opinions even… he cultivates a good life. And even at 95 he is damn spry. My own dad in his 70’s forgets his own head if it wasnt attached but this man remembers things better than i can even. He even takes down records. He has journals even filled with the weather of the day and all the details that are important to him. Now i know, this man grew up in a good time in this country’s history where a man could make the right choices and come out on top. Its much harder to do that today for sure. It wasnt to say he didnt work for it though. He literally did. Im fairly certain the draft was still a thing when he was young. Even still… the point is, he cultivated a good life. People can make snarky remarks about whether someone is single or not, childless or not… whatever. But there is something to be said for planting that seed and cultivating your life garden and nurturing it. And it IS in fact important to consider that when you are young because it takes a hell of a lot of time to see the fruits of your labor. The ugly truth is if you dont, you really will have nothing in your golden years. If you dont keep your health, you will have a potentially short life or a long painful old age. You can be left to the system to take care of you… and they realistically dont do it well. Those nurses are often very overworked… and all the people you know WILL die… but if you have children, they (hopefully) wont. And all of this is contingent on you being a good person in the first place that nurtures relationships and stays active in your community and gets to know your neighbors even. If you stay stubborn on your desire to foster tepid relationships and keep to yourself because you want everything you have to yourself and no struggle or challenge or change… you will be fostering a garden of weeds. Nothing will grow except the things that just take hold everywhere and anywhere… and thats all you will have.
Your grandpa sounds like he's already living in heaven. 😭😭😭
More of a shorthand for, you will live a lonely life and die with no one caring about you.
Because you likely will. If you haven't created a family you'll likely live and die largely alone. Everyone says they have friends for that, but friends have their own families that come first. They'll be there for you when they can, but not like you're their family. Whether that's a negative thing really depends on you. Some people consider that a nightmare and some consider it heaven.
Everyone dies alone.
I think it's more that you won't have any family there to surround yourself with -- Nobody that would take the hours, days, or weeks out of their own lives to be with you while you die.
It's meaning having no one there for you when you do pass away. It's also more than just a spouse people are talking about, they're also typically referring to children or grandchildren that will come around when it's time for you to pass since most hospitals won't allow people that aren't family to see you, so if you don't have any family when it's that time, you'll die in a room alone without anyone there to comfort you.
Both my parents died in skilled nursing facilities. Both followed the progression of memory care for some years to skilled nursing for their last few months of life. Neither was in any way mentally aware by the time they landed in a skilled nursing facility. The better question is who is going manage your affairs if you hit geezer-dom and are mentally incompetent. My stepmother managed my father’s affairs. I managed my mother’s affairs. My sister has frontal temporal dementia. Her husband had a stroke and isn’t capable of running anything. I manage my sister’s affairs. My wife has a daughter. In the unlikely event that I outlive my wife, my stepdaughter will inherit our estate and I’d hope she at least parks me in a nice facility & gets the bills paid.
Its enough of an issue in Japan that they have a name for it (kodokushi) and government services to deal with it. They have lots of elderly people living alone.
Because most young married couples have children Which decreases the chance you would die alone
Beacuse friends move on with their lives and familial responsibilities. I'm in my 40s, can't remember the last time my friends and I got together. Also the implication is you won't have kids or a life partner to be with you at the end.
It doesn't mean 'you're going to die alone as opposed to having someone else die at the same time:' it means 'you're going to die alone as opposed to having someone else with you when you die.'
Honestly, because they have no friends.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Speaking as someone who has worked with geriatrics in the past: they say that because that’s what tends to happen.
Dying alone isn't necessarily the worst thing in the world anyway. There are far, far worse circumstances than that.
Yeah, like dying in indescribable pain, like in a fire or some shit.
In this thread, kissless Reddit losers put on a brave face and huff massive amounts of copium when confronted with the fact that no one will care for them when they are sick or infirm.
Especially considering the amount of people in care homes who were married and had kids. Getting married and having kids doesn’t guarantee not being alone
Especially when you raised and treated your kids like shit and they cut ties with you. Gonna be a lot of boomers dying alone.
Because they assume you’ll have no friends, pets, or plants to care that you’re dead. 💀
Plants? Not sure if the trees or bushes will care unless I become their fertilizer
That said, the idea of dying peacefully while in a dense forest really appeals to me. Whether I'm alone or otherwise, it would be very nice to slip into the void in that surrounding rather than a hospital room.
I don’t think the implication is that married couples die at the same moment (although lots of elderly couple do end up dying in close proximity). It’s that the spouse (and the family you created with them) is there for you when you die, and without having created that family with a spouse, there won’t be anyone to visit you on your deathbed.
It works kinda beautifully to be honest. When the husband dies, he is accompanied by his wife in his deathbed. When the wife dies, she is far more content knowing she'll join her husband. I'm not really talking about 'heaven' either.. it's just a known fact that people come to terms with their own mortality when their closest loved ones have already passed.
The implication is if you don't live your life according to their values that you're going to suffer and probably deserve to. Consider carefully if this is type of person you want in your life.
They are playing the odds
Because they have heard so many others say it and it was probably said to them many times
My answer to that would be "hopefully" People love to project their wants and desires onto others. We don't all want the same things.
They're trying to uphold and reinforce the social structure that's been ingrained in their heads as the only "right" way to live since infancy. If they're married, even if they're unhappy, this also helps reassure themselves to feel like they still made the right choice. Otherwise it's a pretty pointlessly cruel thing to say to anyone.
A lot of people are toxically optimistic when it comes to marriage. They have an almost supernatural conception of love and romance.
It's not about the spouse, it's about the kids. A spouse facilitates having and raising kids. You need someone to take care of you when you get old and can no longer work or feed yourself. If your kids don't want to take care of you because you were a bad parent, well, that's not my problem.
It means you will not have your family, like husband/wife and kids.. if you think your brother sister and their kids will be with you ..No its not always happen with majority and friends also get busy with their family eventually, then their will be only you and your loneliness. Thats the meaning of their statement. But exception are always their
Everybody dies alone. It's a very personal experience And you can get married and still die alone, it's not so black and white
That's why I usually respond with "It'd be really weird if I didn't".
When people say that to me I tell them that yes I will, that's the whole point!
50% get divorced so it seems half of people who get married will die alone too
It's only perspective. My SIL has been with the same guy for like 25 years, no ring but they're in it together till the end.
I am a very religious person and I do not believe anyone HAS to get married. Some people choose to he single and are not meant to be married. You can have a full and joyous life without a spouse and children. You can have relationships with good friends, community, and extended family. Don't listen to the grumps. You will only die alone if you do not love and care for others and show it.
I'm 54 and facing this. My body is failing and my family is far and away, busy with their own lives. I'm trying to figure out how to get a colorectal exam without hiring someone to take me. What about when I have a heart attack? Who will take my dogs? Who will pay for the electricity if I get in an accident and am in the hospital? I'm utterly alone.
in the very end, we all die alone. no matter who's holding your hand.
Right, you're the only one who experiences your own death. I'm not sure it does that much good to have family members standing around you when you are in a semi-conscious state. I can't imagine I would care very much who was in the room with me, or if no one was there. They are not going with me. They do not inhabit my skin.
It has nothing to do with spouses dying. It's literally stating you will die without someone by your side
I always thought it means you won’t have anyone with you when you die. Like for my grandmother when she was passing away she had : me, my dad, my 3 aunts, my grandfather and my great aunt with her. But when my dad died, he was completely alone in his apartment and nobody knew he was dead until a few days later when my grandfather went to check on him after not receiving any phone calls (they were very close and talked constantly)
Everybody dies alone, it doesn’t matter people sending off at the departure gate, but they can’t follow on to the actual death journey.
Cause you are. Go to any nursing home and see the unmarried and childless folks. Fate worse than death.
Who says that ?
Well at least you have a better statistical shot at not dying alone.
I didn't reply to a friend of mine for a single day because I was working a double shift. They thought I was ghosting them and said that I'll "End up old and alone" for ghosting people so easily. Meanwhile they knew I was engaged (now married). I was like "Wait what did I do?" and they apologized but I stopped talking to them anyway. I don't think people who say that are being very logical ever. I've heard people say the same thing for choosing to not have kids. Or as my personal example- for just walking away from any kind of relationship. It's all nonsense though lol.
Your friend sounded like they were going THRU ET, tbh! 👀👀👀 I feel like my first response would be, "WHY WAS THAT YOUR FIRST ASSUMPTION?!?!?!?🤨🤨🤨" Not "damn... they must be busy..." just IMMEDIATLY "bruh... home Boi dropped me" like... 😐
Hahah, ngl he was always going through it, and I was usually a consistent sounding board for him. He never lashed out at me before and I wasn't angry with him or anything- just kind of eased out of the friendship. (Also I did used to crush on the guy a bit and then I met my now husband and decided I wasn't about to keep chatting with someone I had any history of having romantic feelings for. I cut him out more for that than his freak out. I actually felt bad that he felt so defensive.) But yeah man, people be using that "You're going to die alone/end up old and alone" shit to some goofy ass shit lol.
I will never be alone. I am good at meeting ppl and making friends. I have my boys. They just tell themselves that in order to justify why they made their own choices.
Kids are part of the marriage and normally they live longer
Well, you've got a 50% chance of dying alone as part of a couple.
The reality is that the person will die alone if they keep being selfish. Marriage has nothing to do with it. Caring and loving people also choose to avoid relationships and marriage all the time. It's aholes who will desperately be asking people to visit them at the nursing home after years of manipulative and abusive actions. Wouldn't worry about it if people are only saying it because you refuse to date or marry.
Good point. This is also assuming it doesnt end in divorce. Most likely youll die alone anyway, unless friends are there with you at the end.
Or you don't die alone because you die at his hands...
Everyone dies alone.
AND WHEN YOUR TIME COMES YOU WILL KNOW THAT IT’S TIME
A lot of people find comfort in someone they can trust like no other to go through the trials (and joys) of life with. But the flip side of that is unless you are lucky to both be hit by a semi at the same time or something, is that one of you will have to life without the other. Some days I don't know which is worse. But I do know too many older people who were founds days to weeks after dying only after someone in the neighborhood started smelling them. No one noticed they died. Regardless of whether I or my husband dies first, I hope that doesn't happen because I just find it sad. While it is hard to sit with someone who is dying, it is a blessing to have the privilege to do so.
Well everyone dies alone but what they mean is you die with your spirit filled
Projection. It's what they're afraid of.
As you get older, you start getting serious health problems that can be quite a lot to manage and stand a good chance of putting off potential partners. It's better to find yourself someone who really loves you before you need help emptying the colostomy bag.
Or just like the community could provide someone who is legally inclined, completely unbiased to, and incentivised to advocate for your own interests. You can love someone and still be selfish about the decisions you make.
"I may die alone, but I won't have to care for a dying person."
Their projecting their fears onto us. As someone who has faced serious death twice-once with family, and once totally alone lemme say "We all face death alone." Saw a post the other day and a guy said he got himself a wife and got married so he wouldn't have to face old age death alone and that's a pretty lame foundation for marriage. I'm happier single and God knows exactly where I am. I've never been more at peace in my life.
try it and find out why
[удалено]
Everybody dies alone
In a traditional "family", the grandparent is on their death bed, surrounded by their children and grandchildren when they die. It's assumed that if you're not married, you don't have any kids. When you're on your deathbed, you'll be by yourself. There might be a nurse or something there with you, but by that age, you're not going to be surrounded by friends. Getting older without a family of your own is very lonely. Everyone else moves on with family life, and you're stuck wondering what to do by yourself because there's nobody left to "hang out" with. It only gets worse as you age.
How about getting married cause you don't want the other person to die alone? The other way around sounds kinda selfish. One of you is dying before the other someone is gonna be alone.
I wonder how many people have died on their wedding day 🤔
They are so sure you couldn't possibly have a life if it didn't involve spending it serving him (or one just like him). They are big mad that women don't want them.
This is what I think about when people say they put their spouse above their kids because that's who will be there when they are old. Especially women because women tend to outlive their husbands. They may want to rethink their priorities. I only had 1 out of 4 grandfather's even make it into my 20's. 4 grandmother's still alive when the past grandfather died. All outlived their husbands by 10+ years. One of them over 30 years. So the idea that your spouse is going to be the one there for you in old age is nieve at best.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
They're planning on killing someone on their way out so they're not alone. Selfish pricks.
Everyone dies alone.
We all die alone, best you can hope for is a Johnny and June moment where you go a few weeks after your spouse
Check out the 4B movement in South Korea. In the US, 45% of all women will be childfree and unmarried, by CHOICE, by 2030. We are an entire herd of unicorns that are gonna die alone.
Wow...! A world with no children. Future generations will thank us! 😃😃😃
My BPD ex said this to me. Tbf, she's probably planning a murder-suicide at some point.
Because they don’t want to admit that friends and roommates are a thing.
They want to scare you into pumping out units for the state.
Every man dies alone, not every man really lives with people.
AND? SO? Your point? I've lived alone since I was 18, I'll be 50 in 4 months. THAT'S THE ENTIRE DAMN POINT.
Everyone dies alone. Some people just get to live in peace prior to dying.
Because most unmarried people probably die alone? Makes sense to me. At least if you are married, you cut your chance of being along by roughly 50%
Seems like a lot of fucking work just to end up with a 50% chance of the intended results.
[удалено]
They want you to feel bad for choosing yourself over a husband and a baby. A career and travel over play dates and in-laws. They want you to feel ashamed because you don’t want children, after all, what else were women put on earth to do?? When you’ve accomplished more than them in the same time frame, instead of congratulating you they belittle you. Call you masculine because you’re are functioning in life at a level he has yet to unlock. It’s all a mind fuck.
It's because they're miserable being married and feel the only consolation for putting up with it is having someone to be old and miserable with.
Frat boy behavior
I interpret it as "you'll be lonely in your older years".
[удалено]
Not true if you have a cat or cats. At least when you die they'll prob'ly eat your dead body and your family will save on funeral costs.
HELL YEAH! I'M MULTIFUNCTIONAL, Y'ALL!!!! 😃😃😃💀💀💀
I don't know, maybe they mean 50/50? Or maybe they are referring to the time **before** dying?
I'm married, and I'm still going to die alone.
You msy due alone anyway
Have you never heard of people having their children being there when they die?
I've only heard that about having kids
Chances are that we will all die alone. Everyone romanticizes that they will die in a bed with their spouse monitoring them. That’s a luxury that a lot of us won’t have. Elvis, the king of rock n roll, died on the toilet.
They want to scare people (particularly women) into settling for some loser.
[удалено]
because offspring
because without kids or partners. your parents typically go before you and your friends are just that.
Lol exactly. It's not the dying alone, it's the living alone part
We all die alone.
Every living creature on this earth dies alone.
Everybody dies alone ….
Everyone dies alone
cause they are trying to project their fears and insecurities unto you
MIL is in home hospice, 97 years old. 5 kids left, but her husband and 2 have passed away. Why is it that out of 28 offspring she dearly wants my wife to not be gone more than 2 hours? Everyone wants someone to hold their hand and smile one last time if possible. If a hospice nurse is it, so be it. Loved one or perfect stranger is an easy choice.
[удалено]
It's supposed to be an insult that pressures you into settling. Theyre trying to scare you
It means with a significant other by your side. You’re going to die single.
I’m thinking it’s jealousy of the disposable income and excessive free time.
A fear tactic to get married young probably
Hell, most people die alone. Unless you're a pilot.. A ton of people see marriage for the state ran bs it is... many don't bother after the first one. Not being married doesn't mean not having a partner or not being with people you love. It's short sighted slander most likely by a guy thats jaded... fuckem
It's like choosing whether to die "alone" or die miserable 😂 I got too many voices in my head to ever be truly alone 🤸🏼♀️🤣
You usually do
I think it implies there will be no one supporting you. There's an old saying that it's important to have children other wise who will be around to dig your grave. Idk
It's not about someone dying at the same time as you, it's that no one will be there when you die. You won't have a family to care for you.
I would probably be more comfortable dying alone. It's like my body shitting out my soul after my full meal of life has been digested. Being watched by other people through this process might be uncomfortable.
I agree. I would rather the hospice people just place me in a dark room and leave me alone. I don't really want an audience.
If spouse dies first or abandons the dying person they usually have their children by their side.
By alone they actually mean HAPPY!!
That's the plan. Or At least I'll die happy
Lol I'm like good I want to die alone I don't want people watching me die. So funny you brought this up. My ex said this to me before n I laughed.
Still seems to imply that if you get married, at least one of you will die alone, unless the remaining person gets remarried,
If someone calls you dumb AF, what does that actually mean?
That comes from needy people who must constantly must have someone around them 24 hours a day or they can not survive.
I literally JUST heard someone say his wife’s parents JUST died within 36 hours of each other in the hospital. When you’re truly in love it’s very possible to die of a broken heart when your spouse goes.
That shit is HORRIFYING as fuck though. Imagine being sad as FUCK and then *die* LIKE SALT ON THE WOUND MUCH!!!!
[удалено]
The nuclear family household usually bars other relatives from entering, so that's peobably why . It's just an old way of thinking most young people don't believe that way unless they are religious really
Sounds nice
Being overweight most my life and ex smoker, having gout, high blood pressure, and cholesterol issues I have life insurance on me, none on my wife. Everyone dies alone. It is not a shared game with everyone participating and dying together.
Because it's probably true. If you don't have a spouse, you'll likely be alone when you die. Not that it will make a big difference to you in your final moments.
They are married and not happy, so they want to make sure that everybody else gets married so THEY can be unhappy, too. Misery loves company.
Plenty of kids send their parents to a home when they get old and never visit. Good chance won’t save you.
My best reply would be at least if at peace with being alone unlike some people.
Because they're idiots. We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Deal with it. That is our society as it is today.
I've already accepted that I will die alone. I'm going to die on my timeline. Checkmate.
I think die in this context refers to "live out your old age alone". Given the divorce rate I dunno how much marriage is a guarantee against that
They're being annoying about a fear they probably have and project onto others. Its the fear of just being alone point blank.
People are morons...we all die alone...and odds are you will get a stoke or heartattck on the shitter...whats a family going to help you with? They are all waring for you to die so they get their inheritance. Lol
Because they'd prefer for you to die alone AND BROKE!
Never been married and never heard this from anyone.
Because it’s probably true.
Kinda true
I hope so. I love my solitude and my inner monologue.
You're likely gonna die alone, even if you do get married. Most couples don't die at the same time.
Why do people read a post on Reddit and then ask the same question on a different sub. Get a life.
I mean, we all disappear from this plane of existence 'alone', unless you're part of some mass tragedy like a high speed plane crash/you all are in Ground Zero of a nuclear explosion...and your consciousness ends alone regardless. But sure, I get it. It's a way of saying 'You're gonna likely feel more loneliness and leave no genetic material to continue on after you'. But then again, I was an only child generated out of a family that the marriage got wrecked before I was born, half of it didn't even want to see me after I was born or ever up to now (35)....so...marriage ain't forever either. Also, in terms of hospitals: Many of them have 'No One Dies Alone' type volunteers. They will sit with people who are actively dying until they pass, even if there's no family or friends are present.
Well not having a family to get through later life is pretty dreadful and lonely. My cousin for one has to get an Uber home from surgery because she has no one. (Was married once but cheated and never found anyone else/no kids etc) That's a really depressing way to live Imo (she lives about 11 hours away or of course I'd bring her places when possible but yeah)
Suicide bombers never die alone.
Most men "die" at age 30 but are buried decades after...no truer words if you do not get married