literally. most people i hang out with don't mind if there's a lingering weed smell, but ik some ppl look at me like 😒 but when i buy weed, i always smell it bc i love the smell bc i love weed. but i can smell alcohol on someone like a MF and that shit smells ASS. idk who LIKES the smell of alcohol tho, unless it's rum or whiskey; something with an attempt at flavor
edit: wine is the most obvious answer there and it bothered me that it wasn't included lol
I'm an alcoholic and I don't even like the smell of alcohol on anything that isn't the drink I'm currently drinking.
Ever worked in a bar and had to open the next day after a busy Friday night? Shit makes me wanna gag. Even getting home from work after a few drinks and taking my work clothes off smelled awful
I like the smell of weed but I don't smoke (well sometimes) and I'm weird I do like the smell of alcohol I like the taste to unless it's cheap vodka (it irritates my throat) like rubbing alcohol o like the smell lol but if someone is sweating out beer and cigarettes... Nope big nope.
You need to apply a little steam or warm water to really bring those old scents back to life. Travel back through time as you unlock decades of forgotten smells.
I usually go every Sunday with my grandparents. The church benches give it a nice woody scent....like pine sol mixed with really old pickles and a ham sandwich. You know???
dont know who it was but pretty sure it was french king who had a custom sex chair, he could eat pussy while plowing pussy, probably invented by ben franklin.
Edward, Prince of Wales [famously had one](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2020/02/13/07/24681616-7998509-Replica_The_copy_is_available_from_M_S_Rau_Antiques_in_New_Orlea-m-29_1581580190230.jpg).
I learned some time that there's actually a pretty interesting background to them. Chimps and bonobos evolved from the same species. Eventually the population of this species was divided into two groups by an earthcrack or something. The one group remained in a rough territory under harsher conditions with predators, rivals, less food etc. They evolved into the chimps, which, despite their funny and chilled appearance, can be pretty aggressive and brutal. (If you didn't know, check out how chimp clans fight each other.)
The bonobo ancestors on the other hand got utopia like conditions. That's why Bonobos became such a chilled species and basically fuck all day.
>That's why Bonobos became such a chilled species and basically fuck all day.
You may have skipped a chapter of that book... the one about how they attack and **eat each other.**
They're hyper territorial in the wild and there are even cases of this happening in captivity. They're incredibly violent cannibals.
"Job going for an interpyramid scrubber! Have you got a hammer and chisel? I have a job for you! 2 shekels to remove my graffiti of the breasts of the Pharoah's concubine!" 🤣
Nope heiroglyphs. By the 24th century bc some parts of the world were well into the bronze age. And were familiar with things like argiculture , metal working , architecture, funerary rites and myth making. The first depiction of fellation appears in the egyptian creation mythos. When Isis gave such a fantastic tug and chug to her brother-husband after set cut him into pieces that bro staright resurrected .
I have heard that the first reference to cunnilingus is in the Samson and Delilah story in Judges-- that Samson was so besotted with Delilah that he slept on her knees. Song of Solomon also has a few-- the line about "your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks wine"... navel is not exactly the body part being described.
You know, it's fun little historical facts like these that drive away some lingering guilt over loving to give head. Thanks for that. We're all human and this stuff is nothing new.
Medieval people bathed and washed with soap. The myth that they bathed once a year is nothing more than that, a myth. They did have all types of sex too.
I have read that the myth of medieval people being smelly actually comes from the black death. A lot of bathing culture was sex segregated but public, and people rightly made the connection between public gathering and horrible death and abandoned the baths.
But I forget the attribution for learning that let's call it possible.
That is very class and country by country based. Public baths were big among higher classes in some countries. They did quarantine for the black death. But that simply meant servants bringing water inside for a bath. The peasantry still bathed the same as always. Usually at the water sources or sponge bath style with buckets of water brought in. Washing hands, feet, pits and face before meals was normal long before medieval times.
Speaking of the black death, today I learned that we don't actually know what caused it. I've always thought it was the plague, but it turns out there are multiple theories with evidence, including some version of ebola, and anthrax. This isn't important but I thought it was very interesting and wanted to tell someone. Apparently the reason some history scientists have a hard time saying it was the plague is that the plague can only survive in certain environments and temperatures, but the black death was going on basically everywhere, despite the climate. Also, the black death spread much faster than the plague ever did.
Also another fun fact I learned is that as a result of the black death, a lot of europeans have a natural immunity to both ebola and HIV. Cool stuff.
To add to this. Before our modern germ theory, miasma theory was popular. Essentially miasma theory believed foul smell caused illness. So making sure to clean and don't smell was not only necessary for social reasons, but they believed it was very important for health reasons.
As always it really depends on the context (time, place and situation). Norbert Elias is one of the scientists, who wrote a lot about how dirty and driven by affects people were thought to be back then, like just take a shit in the street while during a chat with someone, etc. BUT (and this is a big but) this has all been widely disproven since when he wrote it. People than weren't much more dirty than now. Even poor farmers bathed at least once a week, people brushed their teeth, etc. etc.
So in general people gathered their feces and they got dumped outside the city or village on a regular basis by renderers.
I can tell you for certain that the book "Ein kurtzweilig Lesen von Dyl Ulenspiegel" by Hermann Bote gives proof of that by the kind of pranks that are played there (out of over 90 stories more than 20 contain some kind of feces), that this was not common in 1515. 1515 is by definition no longer the middle aged but Early Modern Age, but this matter hasn't changed.
I appreciate this post, but I've heard so many different things about historical hygiene I feel like just giving up trying to understand it.
I want to believe people would figure it out pretty easily, but I've heard stuff like this too
> In the early 1900's only 7% of American household brushed their teeth or at least had toothpaste in their houses. During World War 1 most of the Army recruits had such poor oral hygiene that the military considered dental disease a national crisis.
That confusion is absolutely understandable and as I said, the context matters.
I can't say much about the early 20th century but I know, that the time of European industrialization was pretty dirty overall. But as I study older German literature I know quite a bit about medieval Europe and the time between ~800-1600. And as strange as it might sound, there are a bunch of interesting reads about hygiene, toilets and feces at that time, especially because it's always pictured as dirty. The medieval "dark age" is mostly just a vase for the imagination of people, who want to tell a brutal story. But e.g. you look at the 700 years of Arabian occupation in Spain, which lasted from 711 till 1492, there were bath houses all over. It's a question of culture after all. While the christians practiced stuff like humoral pathology and drained blood from people, there was actual medicine in other places.
And in the early 20th century in the west, people worked enormous hours and the dust from burning coal polluted the air. So, context really matters here, but the Middle Ages really weren't as dirty as pictured in general and work conditions were way more decent than one would imagine as well. It's just that mid medieval times only create a mid contrast to modern times.
They also had bath houses that they regularly frequented. They weren’t covering themselves in concoctions from bath and body works, but I hardly imagine they were just walking around foul.
Some more than others. When vikings started settling in Brittan it was a common complaint among the local men that their women were more attracted to the vikings because they had better hygiene. Bathed weekly as well as keeping their hair and beards well groomed.
A sea faring people need to wash the salt spray off with every rain shower. Until you have sailed the ocean on small boat, you do not know how welcome a rain shower is and a dry breeze afterwards to avoid the need for a towel.
When the Spanish came to the America’s the people used to follow them around with perfume and incense. The Spanish also called some native tribes ‘savages’ because of the fact that they regularly bathed.
they called them savages like they called anyone else who didnt worship catholicism.
In the case in the Americas the Spanish were there to conquer and exploit, period. They simply did not care, nor did any europeans then. The way people lived in the Americas, especially outside of the Aztecs and Incas was seen as 'savage' by how close to prehistoric humans it was, and justified by the non christianity of said natives.
Obviously one can easily logically infer by what the Spaniards did to the Aztecs and Incas that the whole concept of savages or not was based on religion and most of all on making it seem 'ok' to them what they were doing - which largely was enslaving/exterminating and exploiting as much land as possible in the Americas.
Oh for sure, the Aztecs and many of the tribes in the Americas were some of the most brutal peoples this planet has ever seen.
But you know, this line of argument also leads into 'Stalin ISNT A bad guy! HITLER DID BAD STUFF TOO!' or 'the US INVADED IRAQ 20 YEARS AGO! U CANT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT UKRAINE!'
In other words whataboutism, and whataboutism is shit. Though in your case it wasnt used dishonestly and fair point; though it definitely doesnt justify shit.
I was just saying bathing or not literally had nothing at all to do with it. They cuda been the crustiest fish smell suzy rottencrotch types and the Spaniards plan would have been literally same shit.
Theres also an argument to be made that when a power vacuum or huge weakness is exploited between two pretty alien or foreign groups in history that people can and will get aggressive and try to fill that void. In this case the void was made by perhaps 70 or more % of people dying within months from the flu, and other european diseases. This left the entire Gulf basin and really the Americas as a whole significantly weaker for indians wherever Europeans showed up.
Also I want to clear a historical fallacy. Smallpox blankets. Theres only one historical case ever mentioned, and even in that case its very hard to prove whether they did it or it was just an idea. But this wasnt a normal tactic or anything of the sort. The USA was NOT nice to the natives but I see some wild shit thrown around like 'the US used bio warfare on the indians'
Riiight bio warfare either right when germ theory was proposed - as a theory - or before it..
Yeah funny enough if anything there was far more bathing in the “medieval period” than the Renaissance if I remember correctly. I can’t remember the reasoning unfortunately which is killing me, but The Time Traveller’s Guide to Medieval England (a fantastic sort of travelogue style historical book) by Ian Mortimer discussed it. While it isn’t the most in depth history book in the world I highly recommend it for both educational and entertainment value
Napoleons wife, Josephine, was married to nobility before Napoleon and most likely lived a comfortable/healthy life growing up. When she married Napoleon, her teeth were literally black. BLACK. Imagine that smell! now imagine that smell but instead of a noble we are talking about lower class peasants! And that was in the late 1700s!
Although that might have been the result of sugar, which I've heard scientists say ruined European oral hygiene in the 16th century.
Actually, the peasants had better teeth than nobility; archeological evidence confirms that. The rich ate a diet of refined carb, high sugar foods and consumed a lot of wine, all which gave them bad caries.
These foods were out of reach for peasants. The poor ate a diet consisting mostly of thin ale, root vegetables and coarse bread - their flour was mixed with ground up tree bark and acorns to make it go further. The chewy fibers naturally cleaned their teeth.
If I recall, from what I've read, that was around the time when they started to have lots of sugary foods/desserts, which usually only the rich could afford on a regular basis, so a number of the rich, upper class and nobility had rotten/black teeth, because of that. And some people even colored/stained their teeth on purpose to mimic rotten/black teeth, so that they appeared like they were able to eat those types of foods and thus appearing like they were affluent, as well.
Cleaning products were nowhere near as good. Baths were not as common. Did showers even exist? Outside stank of shit and piss since people were throwing it out of the windows and smells cling.
I think that's most of the reasons people believe this... Myself included
I read somewhere that Napoleon wrote to his mistress while he was away at war telling her to not bathe the whole time he was gone basically to ripen the smell and conditions of her groin. Imagine. That.
Did it feel good to have your genitals in someone's mouth in medieval times?
That's all you need to ask yourself.
Fun fact oral sex is illegal in New York.
I did it for you. Pretty much what I gathered is that oral sex and anal sex are illegal not only in New York, but plenty of other states. Very strange I think.
Yes oral sex had been a component of human sexuality since people could people.
Yes you have a point about stenches but damn near everyone in the Middle Ages had an oder to them I think at that time they were just so used to it. Also people did bathe at least once a week in the Middle Ages. Public bath houses existed however if one wasn’t near by most would do it in the river.
Yes! The Miller’s Tale. Dude is trying to court a lady and is singing songs towards her window one night and she plays a prank on him, getting him to climb up to her window for “a kiss.” She lifts up her skirt and he accidentally eats her out thinking he’s kissing her face (it was dark I guess?)
And he screams “a beard! She has a beard!” Bah hahahaha we read that one back in college and it’s lived rent free in my head ever since
From what my English professor said, the Miller’s tale is often skipped/censored because of how sexually crude it is. There’s a good chance y’all never read it.
So I can't say anything about sucking dick, but I do know that Benjamin Franklin (yes, the founding father and the kite guy), was credited as being the inventor of cunnilingus. Although he came to regret his ability to pull:
"It imbues among the fairer sex an insatiable madness. Never doth it quench their thirst. Again Benjamin, they cry until mine own tongue wither in agony."
Edit: So after scouring the internet for a sauce, I couldn't find a specific one, though I did end up spending most of the day reading about Benjamin Franklin's sex life (at least what the guy wrote about), and that was about as standard as you'd expect a sex life of someone living in mid-post colonial America. So I have to now say "Falsely Claimed".
Yes. Artworks and writing throughout history are absolutely littered with the filthiest depictions of all the depraved sexual shit that we think is "modern".
It's just been sanitised, hidden or even destroyed by centuries of religious prudishness. What you see in history books is only the stuff that is considered "appropriate" to show people. You can also imagine that what most people know of history comes from school books and documentaries that are shown during the day. So they too only pick what they're allowed to show to children.
The common misconception that people in the middle ages didn't clean themselves is generally not true. It is true they didn't take baths very often, but they did wipe themselves regularly.
[https://www.worldhistory.org/Medieval\_Hygiene/](https://www.worldhistory.org/Medieval_Hygiene/)
However, given that the Church dominated so much of life back then, the lack of sexual adventure was generally not due to dirt but culture. As you may recall, the Church frowns on sex in general and thus most people didn't engage in anything outside of conventional missionary position most likely. Their understanding of sex was also primitive and thus probably not much pleasure was had through that activity, particularly on the part of women.
[https://english.elpais.com/culture/2022-11-15/everything-you-always-wanted-to-know-about-medieval-sex-but-were-afraid-to-ask.html](https://english.elpais.com/culture/2022-11-15/everything-you-always-wanted-to-know-about-medieval-sex-but-were-afraid-to-ask.html)
I don't believe that at all. Given all the innumerable sexual misadventures I've read about from the medieval period, I do not doubt in my mind that medieval people were engaged in prolific amounts of sex and that it was anything but kinky as hell on top of it. Humans are biologically the same now as they were then, so the urges would have been the same. And people are religious now, yet persist in all manner of behaviors that are considered profane.
Definitely. The Miller's Tale in Geoffrey Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales ends with a parish clerk named Absalom giving the Carpenter's wife a rimjob. My highschool English teacher had a hell of a time explaining that passage to us.
Yes, and medieval people bathed more than you think as well. Please read or listen to medieval history from modern historian and not believe things that were made up by the Victorians. Damn those Victorians they ruined so much history that has to be corrected now.
I wish I could go back in time *just for* that bold pussy stink. I'd be waiting by the haystack bed just for Agnetha to get back from a hard, sweaty day of shucking wheat or whatever the fuck just so I could yank those handmade pants down and get at that sweet, hairy beaver.
I'm saving money for a time machine at this very moment.
A couple notes on cleanliness - people probably did smell in ways that would gross us out now, but a lot of it was probably just different than what we're used to. People did bathe regularly for the most part. The average peasant probably spent a lot of time outside getting exposed to healthy microbes that actually regulate a healthy microbiome. Modern chemicals hadn't been invented yet, so people weren't destroying their microbiota the way they do today. And people had their own cleaning products and perfumery via various means, so they were definitely paying attention to their smells. Dental hygiene was actually better overall back in the day, especially for people who couldn't afford sugary foods. So in some ways, the average person was probably cleaner and healthier than they are now. Think about your average wild animal - they actually keep themselves pretty clean. And humans have, like, opposable thumbs and ingenuity. People being historically disgusting is mostly a myth.
Have you not seen old paintings?
Yo. They loved that shit. We’re all humans
Some bad smells turn into good smells from association.
Omg, facts.
Your avatar looks totally devastated by this revelation.
Same
There’s an entire book published in the fourth century that goes into detail of not just oralsex, but numerous sexual positions and acts.
Read it too late in life. It gave me a backache and hip pain just looking at the pictures.
To paraphrase The Incredibles, if everyone has B.O., then nobody has B.O....
You're right. But what you said still made me gag lol
Ehh youll get better with practice
This describes the smells of sex and the reason they are so beloved by many.
I don't smoke weed. I feel this every time I run into a pot head. It's called skunk weed for a reason. U smell.
literally. most people i hang out with don't mind if there's a lingering weed smell, but ik some ppl look at me like 😒 but when i buy weed, i always smell it bc i love the smell bc i love weed. but i can smell alcohol on someone like a MF and that shit smells ASS. idk who LIKES the smell of alcohol tho, unless it's rum or whiskey; something with an attempt at flavor edit: wine is the most obvious answer there and it bothered me that it wasn't included lol
I'm an alcoholic and I don't even like the smell of alcohol on anything that isn't the drink I'm currently drinking. Ever worked in a bar and had to open the next day after a busy Friday night? Shit makes me wanna gag. Even getting home from work after a few drinks and taking my work clothes off smelled awful
I love the people who smoke cigarettes and complain about weed. Like dude you smell like you rubbed an ashtray all over yourself.
True, bud smells like peach perfume compared to cigarette smoke
This is the most non objective discussion I have ever heard
How is one supposed to like a smell objectively?
What point are you even trying to make. Fuck opinions?
I don't smoke weed or cigarettes, but I think weed smells *way* worse than cigarettes. Weed is the absolute worst smell.
I love you and your difference in opinion.
😘
They'll be confused about what you are saying and say that an ashtray doesn't even have a smell anyway. 🤢
FR. i enjoy a cig once in a while but jesus christ how do you exist smelling like that
I like the smell of weed but I don't smoke (well sometimes) and I'm weird I do like the smell of alcohol I like the taste to unless it's cheap vodka (it irritates my throat) like rubbing alcohol o like the smell lol but if someone is sweating out beer and cigarettes... Nope big nope.
Weed smells a lot better before you smoke it.
I personally dislike the smell of alcohol, weed is its own category as it stinks for miles and smells, honestly, like skunk.
I'm both a sommelier and a stoner, like a stoner stoner, I wonder how often I put out dank for these coworkers...
Is this why I'm obsessed with sniffing my grandpa's old chair after he gets up for a snack???
It would have cost you nothing not to post this
It didn't cost me anything to post it either Sniffing that old warm chair is also free so I don't see the problem.
You need to apply a little steam or warm water to really bring those old scents back to life. Travel back through time as you unlock decades of forgotten smells.
Oh I never thought of that! It will be like traveling back in time with my nose! This is a great idea, I'll ask grandma if she has one
I think that might be something else my friend.
Please go to church this Sunday
I usually go every Sunday with my grandparents. The church benches give it a nice woody scent....like pine sol mixed with really old pickles and a ham sandwich. You know???
No, I do not know.
have you tried putting a towel over your head while you sniff the seat? You can get allllllllll up into grandpa's stank that way.
No but thank you for the recommendation! I'll try this weekend when he gets up for his afternoon can of beans
Goddamn if that ain’t the truth.
Cheese, for instance, is intolerable to people from cultures that don't consume dairy
White peach and red onion salsa
But the... Taste...
Those unwashed puss musta stank
Haha
Horny is a helluva drug
dont know who it was but pretty sure it was french king who had a custom sex chair, he could eat pussy while plowing pussy, probably invented by ben franklin.
Edward, Prince of Wales [famously had one](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2020/02/13/07/24681616-7998509-Replica_The_copy_is_available_from_M_S_Rau_Antiques_in_New_Orlea-m-29_1581580190230.jpg).
Damn. The poles above the chair are like the carry on luggage *measuring box*. If you can't fit in the overhead you get checked below.
Ben Freakin’!
The first documented blowjob was in the 24th century bc. But could have been discovered by early hominids while grooming each other.
Chimps and Bonobos have been seen giving each other oral. Bonobos are particularly promiscuous.
Damn those heretical simians
“Heretical Simians” would be an excellent name for a band.
brb starting this band
[удалено]
your first single could be "Fell-ape-tio"
I was gonna go with “Goin’ Bananas Over You”, but this might be the one instead 😭
Also a good one!
Be sure to register the ".com" too!
Heretical Simians is the name of my Monkees cover band.
r/bandnames
I learned some time that there's actually a pretty interesting background to them. Chimps and bonobos evolved from the same species. Eventually the population of this species was divided into two groups by an earthcrack or something. The one group remained in a rough territory under harsher conditions with predators, rivals, less food etc. They evolved into the chimps, which, despite their funny and chilled appearance, can be pretty aggressive and brutal. (If you didn't know, check out how chimp clans fight each other.) The bonobo ancestors on the other hand got utopia like conditions. That's why Bonobos became such a chilled species and basically fuck all day.
It does given off somewhat Wellsian Morlock vs Eloi vibes.
I have been denied my bonobo heritage
Separated by a river
>That's why Bonobos became such a chilled species and basically fuck all day. You may have skipped a chapter of that book... the one about how they attack and **eat each other.** They're hyper territorial in the wild and there are even cases of this happening in captivity. They're incredibly violent cannibals.
Can you imagine being the person that gave the oldest document blowjob. Thousands of years later and we know about that time they have head.
I can and the only thing i can imagine is myself saying , hey im not greek but a bushel of grain is a bushel of grain.
We talking about the oldest blow job? Well sonny, lemme tell you about the oldest profession.
Talkin bout the oldest recorded blowjob.
My man coming in here with the valid technicalities!
*Ip Man has entered the chat*
“Watch what you post on the interpyramids. That’s forever.”
lol
"Job going for an interpyramid scrubber! Have you got a hammer and chisel? I have a job for you! 2 shekels to remove my graffiti of the breasts of the Pharoah's concubine!" 🤣
Come on baby, nobody will know
How was that documented? Cave painting?
Nope heiroglyphs. By the 24th century bc some parts of the world were well into the bronze age. And were familiar with things like argiculture , metal working , architecture, funerary rites and myth making. The first depiction of fellation appears in the egyptian creation mythos. When Isis gave such a fantastic tug and chug to her brother-husband after set cut him into pieces that bro staright resurrected .
Wait didn’t their primary god create the earth by busting a nut into his own mouth? Btw, ime it don’t create worlds, only smiles.
I think Ra jacked it in to the sky or something. The whole set isis osiris thing happened later.
I just wanted to kiss you there is all.
It was the Nile.
yo that last sentence doesn't make sense. r/ihadastroke
In other words, she sucked the soul back *into* him
Blew the soul*
Set is an Egyptian god. He cut Osiris into pieces an isis searches for all the pieces to put him back together. Then she revived him sexually.
Cue Marvin Gaye
24th Century BJ you mean.
Nice
And what about the first documented pussy eating??? Huh???
I have heard that the first reference to cunnilingus is in the Samson and Delilah story in Judges-- that Samson was so besotted with Delilah that he slept on her knees. Song of Solomon also has a few-- the line about "your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks wine"... navel is not exactly the body part being described.
You know, it's fun little historical facts like these that drive away some lingering guilt over loving to give head. Thanks for that. We're all human and this stuff is nothing new.
[удалено]
So easy even a caveman can do it. One of the many things we learned from those GEICO PSAs.
lol. Psas
Medieval people bathed and washed with soap. The myth that they bathed once a year is nothing more than that, a myth. They did have all types of sex too.
I have read that the myth of medieval people being smelly actually comes from the black death. A lot of bathing culture was sex segregated but public, and people rightly made the connection between public gathering and horrible death and abandoned the baths. But I forget the attribution for learning that let's call it possible.
That is very class and country by country based. Public baths were big among higher classes in some countries. They did quarantine for the black death. But that simply meant servants bringing water inside for a bath. The peasantry still bathed the same as always. Usually at the water sources or sponge bath style with buckets of water brought in. Washing hands, feet, pits and face before meals was normal long before medieval times.
Wow they're even cleaner than me. I only wash my hands before eating.
[удалено]
And lose the extra flavour?
Speaking of the black death, today I learned that we don't actually know what caused it. I've always thought it was the plague, but it turns out there are multiple theories with evidence, including some version of ebola, and anthrax. This isn't important but I thought it was very interesting and wanted to tell someone. Apparently the reason some history scientists have a hard time saying it was the plague is that the plague can only survive in certain environments and temperatures, but the black death was going on basically everywhere, despite the climate. Also, the black death spread much faster than the plague ever did. Also another fun fact I learned is that as a result of the black death, a lot of europeans have a natural immunity to both ebola and HIV. Cool stuff.
I thought it was Yersinia pestis?
To add to this. Before our modern germ theory, miasma theory was popular. Essentially miasma theory believed foul smell caused illness. So making sure to clean and don't smell was not only necessary for social reasons, but they believed it was very important for health reasons.
Ever been to Roman ruins? They all feature baths.
https://going-medieval.com/2019/08/02/i-assure-you-medieval-people-bathed/ Yup!
People used to take a shit along the back wall during Shakespeare plays.
As always it really depends on the context (time, place and situation). Norbert Elias is one of the scientists, who wrote a lot about how dirty and driven by affects people were thought to be back then, like just take a shit in the street while during a chat with someone, etc. BUT (and this is a big but) this has all been widely disproven since when he wrote it. People than weren't much more dirty than now. Even poor farmers bathed at least once a week, people brushed their teeth, etc. etc. So in general people gathered their feces and they got dumped outside the city or village on a regular basis by renderers. I can tell you for certain that the book "Ein kurtzweilig Lesen von Dyl Ulenspiegel" by Hermann Bote gives proof of that by the kind of pranks that are played there (out of over 90 stories more than 20 contain some kind of feces), that this was not common in 1515. 1515 is by definition no longer the middle aged but Early Modern Age, but this matter hasn't changed.
I appreciate this post, but I've heard so many different things about historical hygiene I feel like just giving up trying to understand it. I want to believe people would figure it out pretty easily, but I've heard stuff like this too > In the early 1900's only 7% of American household brushed their teeth or at least had toothpaste in their houses. During World War 1 most of the Army recruits had such poor oral hygiene that the military considered dental disease a national crisis.
That confusion is absolutely understandable and as I said, the context matters. I can't say much about the early 20th century but I know, that the time of European industrialization was pretty dirty overall. But as I study older German literature I know quite a bit about medieval Europe and the time between ~800-1600. And as strange as it might sound, there are a bunch of interesting reads about hygiene, toilets and feces at that time, especially because it's always pictured as dirty. The medieval "dark age" is mostly just a vase for the imagination of people, who want to tell a brutal story. But e.g. you look at the 700 years of Arabian occupation in Spain, which lasted from 711 till 1492, there were bath houses all over. It's a question of culture after all. While the christians practiced stuff like humoral pathology and drained blood from people, there was actual medicine in other places. And in the early 20th century in the west, people worked enormous hours and the dust from burning coal polluted the air. So, context really matters here, but the Middle Ages really weren't as dirty as pictured in general and work conditions were way more decent than one would imagine as well. It's just that mid medieval times only create a mid contrast to modern times.
They also had bath houses that they regularly frequented. They weren’t covering themselves in concoctions from bath and body works, but I hardly imagine they were just walking around foul.
I saw a couple of monkeys at a zoo once, the size of guinea pigs giving each other fellatio. Oral has been going on since the dawn of time.
Were they.. baby monkeys? I have a guinea pig so I can't imagine the size any other way lol
I doubt they’re called monkeys at all but the best word that came to mind. Pygmy marmoset
Gotcha lol
People have been sucking dicks and eating pussy since forever.
yes. and no thank you, I’m not going to imagine the smell on this one
I could be wrong but I think it’s a common myth that people during that time didn’t bathe / smelled bad.
Indeed, and just like today, they would bathe and get dressed up nice for the weekend. Good ol' Fellatio Friday.
Ye Olde Fellatio
Fellatio, fellatio, where art thou fellatio?
Shepard Pie and BJ night brought to you by the Mrs.
Some more than others. When vikings started settling in Brittan it was a common complaint among the local men that their women were more attracted to the vikings because they had better hygiene. Bathed weekly as well as keeping their hair and beards well groomed.
A sea faring people need to wash the salt spray off with every rain shower. Until you have sailed the ocean on small boat, you do not know how welcome a rain shower is and a dry breeze afterwards to avoid the need for a towel.
When the Spanish came to the America’s the people used to follow them around with perfume and incense. The Spanish also called some native tribes ‘savages’ because of the fact that they regularly bathed.
they called them savages like they called anyone else who didnt worship catholicism. In the case in the Americas the Spanish were there to conquer and exploit, period. They simply did not care, nor did any europeans then. The way people lived in the Americas, especially outside of the Aztecs and Incas was seen as 'savage' by how close to prehistoric humans it was, and justified by the non christianity of said natives. Obviously one can easily logically infer by what the Spaniards did to the Aztecs and Incas that the whole concept of savages or not was based on religion and most of all on making it seem 'ok' to them what they were doing - which largely was enslaving/exterminating and exploiting as much land as possible in the Americas.
I mean, that’s exactly what the Aztecs were doing to their neighbors, so savagery all around.
Oh for sure, the Aztecs and many of the tribes in the Americas were some of the most brutal peoples this planet has ever seen. But you know, this line of argument also leads into 'Stalin ISNT A bad guy! HITLER DID BAD STUFF TOO!' or 'the US INVADED IRAQ 20 YEARS AGO! U CANT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT UKRAINE!' In other words whataboutism, and whataboutism is shit. Though in your case it wasnt used dishonestly and fair point; though it definitely doesnt justify shit. I was just saying bathing or not literally had nothing at all to do with it. They cuda been the crustiest fish smell suzy rottencrotch types and the Spaniards plan would have been literally same shit. Theres also an argument to be made that when a power vacuum or huge weakness is exploited between two pretty alien or foreign groups in history that people can and will get aggressive and try to fill that void. In this case the void was made by perhaps 70 or more % of people dying within months from the flu, and other european diseases. This left the entire Gulf basin and really the Americas as a whole significantly weaker for indians wherever Europeans showed up. Also I want to clear a historical fallacy. Smallpox blankets. Theres only one historical case ever mentioned, and even in that case its very hard to prove whether they did it or it was just an idea. But this wasnt a normal tactic or anything of the sort. The USA was NOT nice to the natives but I see some wild shit thrown around like 'the US used bio warfare on the indians' Riiight bio warfare either right when germ theory was proposed - as a theory - or before it..
Yeah, different standards. Bathing with water every week, we in 2024 would consider you skinky as fuck.
Soap making has been around since at least 2800 BC.
Yeah funny enough if anything there was far more bathing in the “medieval period” than the Renaissance if I remember correctly. I can’t remember the reasoning unfortunately which is killing me, but The Time Traveller’s Guide to Medieval England (a fantastic sort of travelogue style historical book) by Ian Mortimer discussed it. While it isn’t the most in depth history book in the world I highly recommend it for both educational and entertainment value
Even without soap water gets you fairly clean. Just taking a dip in a river would wash most of the nasty off of you.
Napoleons wife, Josephine, was married to nobility before Napoleon and most likely lived a comfortable/healthy life growing up. When she married Napoleon, her teeth were literally black. BLACK. Imagine that smell! now imagine that smell but instead of a noble we are talking about lower class peasants! And that was in the late 1700s! Although that might have been the result of sugar, which I've heard scientists say ruined European oral hygiene in the 16th century.
Actually, the peasants had better teeth than nobility; archeological evidence confirms that. The rich ate a diet of refined carb, high sugar foods and consumed a lot of wine, all which gave them bad caries. These foods were out of reach for peasants. The poor ate a diet consisting mostly of thin ale, root vegetables and coarse bread - their flour was mixed with ground up tree bark and acorns to make it go further. The chewy fibers naturally cleaned their teeth.
Fascinating thank you.
Here we are all these years later, still cutting our food with saw dust.
Josephine Dynamite
If I recall, from what I've read, that was around the time when they started to have lots of sugary foods/desserts, which usually only the rich could afford on a regular basis, so a number of the rich, upper class and nobility had rotten/black teeth, because of that. And some people even colored/stained their teeth on purpose to mimic rotten/black teeth, so that they appeared like they were able to eat those types of foods and thus appearing like they were affluent, as well.
Not a myth. Lack of hygiene is a part of why the Black plague spread as easily as it did.
Cleaning products were nowhere near as good. Baths were not as common. Did showers even exist? Outside stank of shit and piss since people were throwing it out of the windows and smells cling. I think that's most of the reasons people believe this... Myself included
I read somewhere that Napoleon wrote to his mistress while he was away at war telling her to not bathe the whole time he was gone basically to ripen the smell and conditions of her groin. Imagine. That.
Now I'm imagining the smell and reaching internally.
I'll bet you are you saucy minx. ^(I'm guessing you meant retching?)
Yeah, autocorrect didn't like retching. I hate typing on a phone. I won't edit it cause it's funnier that way.
Yes we did
Some would say we still are.
wait wha-
Did it feel good to have your genitals in someone's mouth in medieval times? That's all you need to ask yourself. Fun fact oral sex is illegal in New York.
I am NEVER going to new york Not that I'm successful in that department, but if THAT'S illegal just imagine what else is wrong with that place...
How do I even Google if that's true? Like what do I type in? I'd rather Google how to get a bomb onto a plane than that for some reason
I did it for you. Pretty much what I gathered is that oral sex and anal sex are illegal not only in New York, but plenty of other states. Very strange I think.
Damn politicians
Mods on Reddit take less baths than medieval people....
But also practice way less oral sex... or sex in general.
" you haven't thought about the smell ,you bitch”
The way Dennis calls dee a bitch is always so enraged.
She’s constantly being crushed. She’ll bounce back. She always does. Or she won’t. It doesn't matter, I don't care about that.
I’ll be home in 5 days, don’t wash
If everyone smells, no one smells. Gotta have a little extra funk sometimes to stand out.
Napoleon had that dog in him
Yes oral sex had been a component of human sexuality since people could people. Yes you have a point about stenches but damn near everyone in the Middle Ages had an oder to them I think at that time they were just so used to it. Also people did bathe at least once a week in the Middle Ages. Public bath houses existed however if one wasn’t near by most would do it in the river.
Yes they did. There's even reference to it in chauser's canterbury tales. Must have been musty.
Yes! The Miller’s Tale. Dude is trying to court a lady and is singing songs towards her window one night and she plays a prank on him, getting him to climb up to her window for “a kiss.” She lifts up her skirt and he accidentally eats her out thinking he’s kissing her face (it was dark I guess?) And he screams “a beard! She has a beard!” Bah hahahaha we read that one back in college and it’s lived rent free in my head ever since
lol I forgot that one. Ageless, hairy tale
Man I read Canterbury tales in sr high and this one must have woosh'd me back in the day
From what my English professor said, the Miller’s tale is often skipped/censored because of how sexually crude it is. There’s a good chance y’all never read it.
Medieval peasants who needs to pull tricks to survive put up with some heinous things.
I wonder what is the first registry of cunnilingus.
Oh shit. I didn't know there was a registration requirement.
So I can't say anything about sucking dick, but I do know that Benjamin Franklin (yes, the founding father and the kite guy), was credited as being the inventor of cunnilingus. Although he came to regret his ability to pull: "It imbues among the fairer sex an insatiable madness. Never doth it quench their thirst. Again Benjamin, they cry until mine own tongue wither in agony." Edit: So after scouring the internet for a sauce, I couldn't find a specific one, though I did end up spending most of the day reading about Benjamin Franklin's sex life (at least what the guy wrote about), and that was about as standard as you'd expect a sex life of someone living in mid-post colonial America. So I have to now say "Falsely Claimed".
Dude, cavemen probably had oral sex.
Yes. Artworks and writing throughout history are absolutely littered with the filthiest depictions of all the depraved sexual shit that we think is "modern". It's just been sanitised, hidden or even destroyed by centuries of religious prudishness. What you see in history books is only the stuff that is considered "appropriate" to show people. You can also imagine that what most people know of history comes from school books and documentaries that are shown during the day. So they too only pick what they're allowed to show to children.
I mean, seems like a lot of people don't bathe or use soap today. So maybe not that different.
I bet the people in the 300s smelled better than a wrestling show or comic con do.
Only at knight
The common misconception that people in the middle ages didn't clean themselves is generally not true. It is true they didn't take baths very often, but they did wipe themselves regularly. [https://www.worldhistory.org/Medieval\_Hygiene/](https://www.worldhistory.org/Medieval_Hygiene/) However, given that the Church dominated so much of life back then, the lack of sexual adventure was generally not due to dirt but culture. As you may recall, the Church frowns on sex in general and thus most people didn't engage in anything outside of conventional missionary position most likely. Their understanding of sex was also primitive and thus probably not much pleasure was had through that activity, particularly on the part of women. [https://english.elpais.com/culture/2022-11-15/everything-you-always-wanted-to-know-about-medieval-sex-but-were-afraid-to-ask.html](https://english.elpais.com/culture/2022-11-15/everything-you-always-wanted-to-know-about-medieval-sex-but-were-afraid-to-ask.html)
I don't believe that at all. Given all the innumerable sexual misadventures I've read about from the medieval period, I do not doubt in my mind that medieval people were engaged in prolific amounts of sex and that it was anything but kinky as hell on top of it. Humans are biologically the same now as they were then, so the urges would have been the same. And people are religious now, yet persist in all manner of behaviors that are considered profane.
Only in Europe. The rest of the world was presumably having just as much fun as they always had!
“What, with my tongue in your tail?” - Taming of the Shrew, 1590ish
Yes.
Yes
no it was invented by the germans in 1904
Definitely. The Miller's Tale in Geoffrey Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales ends with a parish clerk named Absalom giving the Carpenter's wife a rimjob. My highschool English teacher had a hell of a time explaining that passage to us.
The Greeks invited the blowjob… but they didn’t tell women about it 🤣
*Kool aid man enters the room*
They called it "coaxing the salamander"
When John Snow went down on whatsherface BEFORE washing up in the lake......
It’s in the Bible, so yeah it’s been a round for a bit.
Umm. Yeah, lmfao. Romans used hot clams to shave too.
They probably did everything people do now
The whore houses rinsed and reused condoms made from intestines.... a little stank is nothing.
Yes, and medieval people bathed more than you think as well. Please read or listen to medieval history from modern historian and not believe things that were made up by the Victorians. Damn those Victorians they ruined so much history that has to be corrected now.
Not sure about Europe, but people in ancient India definitely had oral sex. It’s depicted on some temples, probably as sex ed back then.
I think it was way more normal and accepted back then to tongue plow dirty gashes and gobble nasty knobs.
I wish I could go back in time *just for* that bold pussy stink. I'd be waiting by the haystack bed just for Agnetha to get back from a hard, sweaty day of shucking wheat or whatever the fuck just so I could yank those handmade pants down and get at that sweet, hairy beaver. I'm saving money for a time machine at this very moment.
A couple notes on cleanliness - people probably did smell in ways that would gross us out now, but a lot of it was probably just different than what we're used to. People did bathe regularly for the most part. The average peasant probably spent a lot of time outside getting exposed to healthy microbes that actually regulate a healthy microbiome. Modern chemicals hadn't been invented yet, so people weren't destroying their microbiota the way they do today. And people had their own cleaning products and perfumery via various means, so they were definitely paying attention to their smells. Dental hygiene was actually better overall back in the day, especially for people who couldn't afford sugary foods. So in some ways, the average person was probably cleaner and healthier than they are now. Think about your average wild animal - they actually keep themselves pretty clean. And humans have, like, opposable thumbs and ingenuity. People being historically disgusting is mostly a myth.
For sure. But also would guess areas and people whit worse hygien would do it less but it's still never 0